aibu to tell the next person who tells me that i must be naturally skinny to sod off?!

(122 Posts)
inneedofsomehelpplz Wed 15-May-13 19:03:20

my baby is under 4 months & i am sick & tired of people telling me ive sprung back into shape so must be naturally skinny!!!! no, far from it..... i havetoast for breakfast, an apple for lunch & a small bowl of pasta with peas for dinner. i also try & excercise where i can. ive worked bloody hard on losing my baby weight & want to scream at people im bloody well hungry & want a nice juicy cheesy pizza!!!!!!

StuntGirl Wed 15-May-13 19:04:55

So eat some pizza? A healthy diet has all things in moderation, your diet sounds awfully restrictive and won't be giving you adequate nutrition.

Saidar Wed 15-May-13 19:05:00

Sounds like you should have the pizza.

BrianButterfield Wed 15-May-13 19:05:27

You don't eat enough, that's why they're surprised. Eat the pizza - you need the energy with a new baby more than you need to be skinny (and I lost my baby weight quite quickly but just through walking loads with the pushchair). Don't starve yourself, you will look back and which you'd enjoyed the early days, not spent them hungry.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Wed 15-May-13 19:05:31

Er.... YABU. On many levels.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 15-May-13 19:05:52

Eat it then. Starving yourself is not a good diet.

SJisontheway Wed 15-May-13 19:07:11

I'm not suprised you're hungry. Their assumption wasn't that unreasonable, as they wrongly assumed you weren't starving yourself.

WorraLiberty Wed 15-May-13 19:07:44

Would you prefer a fanfare and a medal?

Who cares what you do in your private life

Just take the compliments for what they are - compliments

TiredyCustards Wed 15-May-13 19:08:33

Yabu. Eat more, it's not a competition.

noblegiraffe Wed 15-May-13 19:08:46

Crikey, you need to eat more than that. You must be feeling crap, what with starving yourself on top of having a small baby to look after!

Buzzardbird Wed 15-May-13 19:08:50

That diet sounds dangerous.

TidyDancer Wed 15-May-13 19:09:38

You are being ridiculous and I suspect attention seeking.

Clearly not eating a healthy diet either.

usualsuspect Wed 15-May-13 19:10:04

You will make yourself ill.

Eat a pizza

LadyIsabellaWrotham Wed 15-May-13 19:11:15

They are paying you the compliment of assuming you are acting sensibly. They are not to know that you're making these bizarre choices.

usualsuspect Wed 15-May-13 19:11:15

Maybe if you ate more,you wouldn't be so ratty and want to scream at people.

littlepeas Wed 15-May-13 19:11:55

Bloody hell - eat if you are hungry, for God's sake! YABU.

wordfactory Wed 15-May-13 19:12:58

OP. Grow. Up.

kikid Wed 15-May-13 19:13:58

you need a variety of foods to have a healthy diet, make sure you take a vitamin. Also not eating what you want or fancy must be making you feel miserable, I know I couldn't be hungry, that would make me sad..
you also need extra calories for your milk production.
go easy on yourself, you need to be happy! ;)

kikid Wed 15-May-13 19:14:39


harryhausen Wed 15-May-13 19:16:03

So would you prefer people to congratulate you on your food 'martyrdom'?

I don't get why you're angry? Is it because people haven't told you how amazing you are for starving yourself? Of course they think you're naturally skinny, because being constantly hungry is just not healthy.

HoneyDragon Wed 15-May-13 19:18:12

No wonder you're grumpy.

Have a medal. You can smile now.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Wed 15-May-13 19:18:23

Here have a biscuit

Samnella Wed 15-May-13 19:18:25

Well done for losing the weight. I am 7lbs down with 21lbs to go so know how hard it is. However, it doesn't sound like you are eating enough. Next time they say anything why don't you just say "yes I am really please and I have worked really hard to get here. "

wordfactory Wed 15-May-13 19:18:49

Friend: Wow you've pinged back into shape quickly [slight note of concern] must be because you're naturally skinny.

OP: Sod off bitch! I am starving myself and you should bloody well congratulate me!

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 15-May-13 19:19:22


Tell them 'sod off I have an eating disorder'.

Also, go to your GP and tell them the same.

pouffepants Wed 15-May-13 19:19:35

Wow, this thread is an eyeopener!

I often go months eating less than that to try to lose weight, but eventually give up, because I never lose any. Oddly, I never gain any when I go back to eating crap either. I just assumed I must have crap will power and actually i need to eat even less to lose. But everyone seems to think that's very little to eat!!

I exercise loads too.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 15-May-13 19:19:40

Wow. I thought my diet was bad!

You realise you cannot sustain this way of eating for life don't you? As soon as you start eating normally again you will pile all the weight back on and then some. Your body will not be using fat as energy, it will be muscle, as you're not eating enough protein, fat or calories to sustain or build muscle.

Muscle is your natural fat burner, the more of it you waste away, the slower your metabolism will come.

You need protein in your diet, ditch the toast and have a mushroom omlette instead, a chicken or fish salad for lunch and add cheese or chicken to the pasta, or have meat and veg instead.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Wed 15-May-13 19:20:13

Op are uou ok?

You do realise that starving yourself to be thin isn't actually normal or healthy?

Are we supposed to now congratulate you on your moral superiority in being thin?

Samnella Wed 15-May-13 19:21:03

grin grin wordfactory put it much better than me.

Jesus, woman, eat some food! That is seriously unhealthy and quite frankly stupid. Put down the Heat magazine telling you you must "spring back into shape after having a baby" and just eat some pizza!

cory Wed 15-May-13 19:28:04

This preoccupation with losing baby weight above eating a nutritious diet is not healthy. It does sound as if you need help, how about trying to see your GP. Remember your baby won't care if you lose that extra weight now or in 12 months time, s/he just needs a healthy happy mummy with lots of energy.

HoneyDragon Wed 15-May-13 19:48:29

Ok I feel bad for being cross now. I posted on your thread in parenting. But seriously, you are not eating enough.

eccentrica Wed 15-May-13 19:50:31

Do you really find your new baby less interesting than your own calorie intake?

GreyGardens Wed 15-May-13 19:52:02

eat the pizza already, then calm the fuck down?

gordyslovesheep Wed 15-May-13 19:53:05

plenty of women starve themselves to be thin - so what - it's their osteoporosis in later life not mine <shoves curry down her gob>

inneedofsomehelpplz Wed 15-May-13 19:55:52

well thanx for the people that gave me support but im struggling & every little thing is niggling at me. a compliment of youre looking good but why add im so lucky to drop the weight so quickly?! im not lucky - i had third degree tears & it hurts when i poop so take vitamins for my breast milk. im not lucky - im sodding well miserable.....

cory Wed 15-May-13 20:00:20

Very sorry to hear that you are struggling, tears are really horrible.

The problem is that you are expecting people to compliment you on what seems to the rest of us like yet another sign of ill health: eating this kind of diet in your position is not a sign of mental wellbeing.

It is a bit like asking us to congratulate on your third degree tear: we sympathise but we can't think it's a matter of congratulation.

gordyslovesheep Wed 15-May-13 20:00:32

then eat - get help and eat

in my 20's I was size 4 and I starved myself and over exercised - you CAN get better - you need to see your GP though not post what look like goady threads on the interweb

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 15-May-13 20:01:04

Of you're struggling. You are not giving your body adequate nutrition. I get into so much trouble by my nutritionist for skipping meals/not eating enough, he actually has people texting me to remind me I need to find time to sit and eat a proper meal.

I lose far more weight when I heed his advise and actually eat enough than I do when I'm grabbing protein shakes and cup of soups when I get a second. I also feel much happier and more energised when I eat right.

I almost killed myself at a spinning class today and only burnt 360 kcals sad I didn't have breakfast or lunch before hand and my body just did not have the energy to move. I'd have gained more from the exercise if I'd eaten a balanced meal before hand.

usualsuspect Wed 15-May-13 20:02:03

Maybe you should have a chat with your GP.

You sound very down

Fairylea Wed 15-May-13 20:02:04

Have the pizza and stop being so hard on yourself. A baby is enough to stress about, weight can.. well... wait!!

You don't get a prize for being skinny.

mootime Wed 15-May-13 20:03:52

If you are breast feeding you NEED to eat more than that. You are going to make yourself ill. Life is to short to put your weight above your health and your time with your newborn. I would suggest you talk to your GP or health visitor as you sound like you might have a bit of PND.

You sound like you may have had a pretty tough time with the birth (3rd degree tear) and so maybe there are issues there. Whatever, starving yourself will not solve any of this. It will make you more miserable and hungry.

mootime Wed 15-May-13 20:05:31

*too short

SundaysGirl Wed 15-May-13 20:06:56

Its more important right now that you are healthy and as unstressed as you can be, for you and for your little one. Putting this much pressure on yourself to regain your figure is clearly making you very miserable. Do you have a history of eating disorders or body issues?

Honestly this time is so special..don't look back on it with some of the strongest memories being of feeling ill, tired, grumpy and stressed out with lack of food.

Is there more going on here stress wise than the weight issue?

PlasticLentilWeaver Wed 15-May-13 20:08:09

You need to eat more if you are BF. You obviously have great self control, but that won't help your baby. It is NOT normal/average/typical to have lost your baby weight in less than 4 months, if you ever had any to lose, as I suspect you kept control during your pregnancy. Start by being kinder to yourself.

fuzzpig Wed 15-May-13 20:10:29

If you're BFing all the more reason to make sure you eat enough and are well nourished to support your body.

From the diet you describe you are really lacking protein.

Please take care of yourself as well as your baby.

fuzzpig Wed 15-May-13 20:12:01

And it's ok to be miserable, sounds like the birth was really hard and having a new baby is a massive life change! Please do seek support, it sounds like it might be going beyond 'baby blues' x

noblegiraffe Wed 15-May-13 20:13:53

You're bf? You're probably not even taking in enough calories to account for the breastmilk let alone keep yourself going. You're going to end up running yourself into the ground and getting ill, which won't be any good for you or the baby.

Please start taking better care of yourself. Your baby needs you.

Themobstersknife Wed 15-May-13 20:16:25

I pretty much agree with mootime and most other posters. Go talk to your GP / HV / OH / someone else who will listen. You sound a bit down and a bit fixated on unimportant things when your baby is only 4 months. In the meantime, you should eat if you are hungry or you will really struggle to carry on breastfeeding. Every little thing niggled me too but I was able to see the positives as well. It sounds like you are struggling to do so, please seek some support. and eat that pizza

NorbertDentressangle Wed 15-May-13 20:16:28

That really isn't a well balanced diet.

4 months post birth you are still recovering and adjusting (physically, mentally and emotionally) - you need to be looking after yourself, eating wholesome, nourishing food not starving yourself.

Don't make yourself ill.

Viviennemary Wed 15-May-13 20:22:53

You must tell them you are having a totally miserable time starving yourself for the sake of vanity.

ah, sweetheart, you really do need to eat and not worry about the weight.
you need to eat about 2000calories a day wgen you're bfing.

if you're worried about pooing because of your tears, then eat loads of fibre filled food and roughage.
drink.plenty of water and juice, but avoid teaand coffee.
weetabix, porridge, that kind of thing should help to make it a bit softer.

Forgetfulmog Wed 15-May-13 20:32:24

OP please listen to the posters on this thread. What you are eating is not enough to sustain a normal adult, let alone a new mum & let alone a bf new mum at that. You risk getting osteoporosis at a later age if you're deficient in calcium too. Vitamins are not intended to replace a healthy diet. My LO is 8 months & I am now back to being about a size bigger than my pre-preg figure, but I have not dieted - I try to eat a good range of food, fruit & veg & generally do about an hrs worth of walking each day. I am also bf & there is absolutely no way I could survive on what you're eating.

Please, for the sake of your health & sanity, eat more.

OnTheNingNangNong Wed 15-May-13 20:32:31

You NEED to eat more while breastfeeding- you will end up very ill in the sake of vanity.

See your doctor tomorrow and show them this.

CalamityJones Wed 15-May-13 20:39:17

If you eat more, you may find yourself losing weight more easily. At the moment you are starving your body and teaching it to survive on less and less food - which isn't sustainable. At least swap the toast for boiled eggs and the pasta for some protein.

But letting your weight occupy your every waking thought when you've got a tiny baby to look after seems a bit of a waste of one of the most amazing times of your life. Relax. Have some cake.

aquashiv Wed 15-May-13 20:50:22

Go easy on easy on yourself Op try and relax for yours and your babies sake. The less you eat the more likely you are to put on weight when you eat a normal amount.

adagio Wed 15-May-13 20:54:29

If you follow some of the breast feeding threads you will find anecdotal accounts of happier/more settled babies if you up the protein, and oats being good for milk (as well as your bowels).

With this in mind, I have switched from a carb heavy cereal to eggs for breakfast, and made flapjack (search recipe board for the condensed milk one) with added ground almonds, pumpkin seeds, chopped up some mixed nuts (lidl do cheaper) and slightly increased the oats/reduced the fat and switched half the butter to rapeseed oil. Protein fills you up more too, which is a bonus.

My baby is coming on for 5 months, and to my eyes I only get to feed her exclusively for a few short months in the great scheme of things and she doesn't give a flying fig if my bum is large or small, as to her eyes I am perfect (this probably won't last…).

In fairness, a protein heavy diet, snacks in moderation and always choose something protein-ey (even peanut m & m 's are better than complete crap) and I am feeling pretty good, and the weight is coming off, albeit gradually. Carbs by contrast give me a spike and a crash, not what you need during crying sessions…

Try more protein? if it doesn't help then fine, go back to what you are doing now

Oh, and I do think YABU your baby needs you to eat more and be as much fun as possible while you remain the centre of the world.

BonaDrag Wed 15-May-13 20:56:57

Yawn. Have a pie and STFU

MikeOxard Wed 15-May-13 21:03:31

Congrats on your new baby and well done for losing weight. It is hard. Unfortunately, it's not fashionable to care about your weight and diet successfully, nobody wants to hear about it - it makes them feel bad. It's fashionable to pretend to be happy with your overweightness and not do anything about it, or pretend you eat like a horse and are naturally slim. I presume that now you have lost the weight and are slim, you will be allowing yourself more calories than you describe in the OP, since you wish to maintain now, rather than keep losing? Chin up. x

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 15-May-13 21:07:36

Skinny is not out of fashion sadly, it should be. Strong should be in fashion instead. People should aim to be fit, not skinny.

You cannot become fit or strong on a diet like OP describes and what sort of message will it send to her child if she continues (without killing herself in the process)?

Surely it would be better for both OP and baby to lose the weight healthily, eating a higher protein, unprocessed healthy diet and exercising along with aiming to be fit and strong instead of aiming to be skinny.

maddening Wed 15-May-13 21:13:12

if you told them what you were eating they wouldn't be saying that. Sounds like less that 700 calories per day whilst still recovering from pregnancy and looking after a baby! That is not healthy - your body has been through a lot - it needs nutrients and protein to repair.

by all means diet but do so sensibly - 1 apple, 1 piece of bread and some pasta and peas is not sensible.

ChairmanWow Wed 15-May-13 21:15:43

Jesus mikeoxard this isn't about caring about your weight or dieting successfully this is someone who is eating barely enough to get through the day. Someone who 4 months after giving birth is fixating on getting her figure back. And she sounds utterly miserable. Fashion doesn't come into it. It's about having a healthy relationship with food and realistic expectations about regaining your figure post-birth.

OP you need some support.

SirBoobAlot Wed 15-May-13 21:22:12

You need to eat more than that. Especially if you are breastfeeding.

Starving yourself like this will not make you beautiful, it will make you ill.

when dd got to a year, I was at 8st 13lb, lighter than i'd been for 10 years. breastfeeding and eating double the amounnt as in pregnancy.

you use a lot of calories breastfeeding.

calamity boiled eggs are protein.
in fact, the German word for protein is eiweiss - literally egg-white

DoctorAnge Wed 15-May-13 23:00:55

All this pressure to loose weight after a baby. Stupid sleb culture.

BasketzatDawn Wed 15-May-13 23:09:39

We'd all be thin too if we ate as little as you, OP. However, U would NBU if you told 'them' to feck off and stop fixating on how thin youare or aren't, then maybe you'd be less fixated too, and then maybe eat some pizza ..... and I think this is a HUGE problem in society generally. Yes, it's good for all sorts of reasons to be thinner rather than fat, but it's very concerning that so much is made of this, as it kind of perpetuates the myth that somehow skinny/underweight is better than a vague covering of adipose. Just another point, I've been all sorts of weights as a mother, ranging from slim to very fat, and - guess what - the DC love me regardless. Remember the line from Notting Hill, by the Julia Roberts cahracter? that's what i thought of when i read the OP.

MrsMook Wed 15-May-13 23:30:32

If you're still struggling following the tear, you need more fibre to make it more comfortable. Have you had a follow-up other than the routine 6wk check? I had a 3rd degree tear 4 1/2 weeks ago. I'm occasionally needing to use the lactulose and fibogel to keep motions comfortable. A hemorroid isn't helping either- I have cream for that. My hospital routinely offers a 3mth check up to ensure everything is fully functional. If things aren't right, don't suffer in silence- you've basicly had surgery in a sensitive part of the body.

You need to fuel yourself more. Weight lost gently and healthily stays off better. As much as I'd like to be back to my pre-pregnant size (and have some trousers that fit!) some patience and sensible choices will stand me in good stead in the long run.

I agree with word and Leeds above.

Stop being so shallow and feed yourself properly. A malnourished mum is not good for a baby

SacreBlue Thu 16-May-13 00:11:18

It sounds like you are putting yourself through a bit of unnecessary stress <hugs OP>

Have a chat with your HV or GP about making life a bit easier on yourself. Your will power must be strong involuntarily thinks of Star Wars 'the force is strong with this one grin and that is a good thing but you are using it to beat yourself up a bit and that is must be exhausting for you.

Ease up on yourself and you may find that even if people still make comments you don't like you and bubba will be much less stressed and you won't notice or care as much about what others think

You don't have to stuff your face with cheese and chocolate tho I throughly recommend it occasionally but you can just cut yourself some slack and enjoy eating, it is something you will have to do everyday for the rest of your life so not a good place to create a battleground.

<passes OP a big slice of guilt-free pizza>

inneedofsomehelpplz Thu 16-May-13 09:17:31

thanx again to the people offering their own experiences & advice & to the people stating im not putting baby first - this is untrue - i devote my life to my children + going back to work to provide for them. i have a doctors app this morning to discuss my eating habits & get them to look down below as nearly 4 months on, should it really still hurt to poop? & yes, it is expected to ping back to shape after having a baby which is wrong. do people really think i like looking like skeletor? my original op should have mentioned that im scared to eat because of pooping it out so im sorry.

eccentrica Thu 16-May-13 09:52:12

Sorry but I think you are in denial to some extent (I say this as someone who has suffered from anorexia and bulimia in the past). In your original post you said

"ive worked bloody hard on losing my baby weight & want to scream at people im bloody well hungry & want a nice juicy cheesy pizza!!!!!!"

so it's not just about being scared of going to the toilet is it?

I found having a baby was an amazing opportunity to stop obsessing about weight and calories, the weight came off very gradually. Took just over a year before I was back to a weight I was happy with - not my pre-pregnancy weight which was far too low.

I hope your doctor is helpful and I wish you all the best with getting over your eating problems. I also recommend eating more fruit and veg, your diet sound very low in fruit and veg and that isn't going to help with going to the loo either!

MulberryJane Thu 16-May-13 09:59:56

I think you are putting yourself under a lot of pressure and this is manifesting itself as an eating disorder, I'm 6 months on after 2nd degree tears and I'm only just starting to feel 'normal' down there. Don't feel that everything should be back to normal, it might be that you have scar tissue causing pain and you need some lactolose, rather than not eating anything. I think you must be making it look like everything is going very well on the outside and this is why people don't acknowledge that you might be struggling. They are probably wondering how you are making it so easy! In reality this isn't the case, for any new mum! I think you should confide in a friend or relative about finding things tough, it's normal to find things tough, so that you have some support. Then go to your GP as planned, they'll be able to help you and you can confide in them without fear of being judged. I hope you're feeling better soon.

OwlLady Thu 16-May-13 10:00:11

Well done for going to the GP. I hope they can help you sad Please be completely honest with them about everything

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 16-May-13 10:00:49

Nothing wrong with getting your figure back but you are taking it too far. I've got back to an 8/10 after each child but I have taken 9 months to a year to do so and have done it on 2000 cals a day (breastfeeding).
Having children actually made me realise the importance of nutrition and being healthy and the silliness of placing huge and disproportionate importance on physical appearance.
Just having an apple for lunch is really sad :-(
Maybe you need to speak to someone.
I hope you are feeling better soon.

Decoy Thu 16-May-13 10:04:14

Hope your appointment goes well today.

fluffymindy Thu 16-May-13 10:07:41


BigBlockSingsong Thu 16-May-13 10:11:12

Surely a compliment is a compliment? would you rather people tell you looked gaunt & ill,

icklemssunshine1 Thu 16-May-13 10:12:55

Sounds like you're starving yourself. That can not even be 1000 calories & if you're exercising too then that's even less. Have you come here to boast about how you've got your body back quickly? It took me a year to loose my baby weight but I didn't care, I was too busy enjoying my baby!

TenaciousOne Thu 16-May-13 10:13:08

YABU, some people are lucky to ping back to shape (I was one of them). People comment based on what they see, you've restricted your diet to go back to your prebaby weight and then are complaining that people are commenting on that.

icklemssunshine1 Thu 16-May-13 10:13:45

Oops "lose" - stupid iPhone!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 16-May-13 10:14:56

So all you eat in a day is toast (how many slices? and what is on it?), an apple and a small bowl of pasta and peas?

I am sorry, but that is not a healthy amount of food. There aren't enough nutrients in it, or calories. You'd even be better off switching the apple for a tiny salad or some prawns or something or an avocado, and switching the pasta for a bit of fish or some steamed veg. For a start, a diet of mainly toast and pasta is going to bung up your insides like bloody glue!

It really isn't about weight, it's about health. You will struggle to be healthy on this diet. If you aren't healthy, then you may find it difficult on a day to day basis.

I really hope that your doctor's appointment goes well and that your doctor is able to help you. Hopefully they will be able to find out what is the matter with your system so that it doesn't hurt and you will be able to manage a more healthy diet.

D0oinMeCleanin Thu 16-May-13 10:15:36

Good luck at the app, OP. If you are struggling with toilet you need to up your fibre intake. Veg, especially green leafy veg and 'brown' carbs such as wholemeal rice and bread and oats would be great for this, without adding tonnes of extra calories plus drinking lots of water.

I hope your GP is helpful.

thebody Thu 16-May-13 10:17:13

Have a medal.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 16-May-13 10:22:45

Helpful, Thebody.....
Being insulting to someone in the grips of an eating disorder is rather cruel. It might take A LOT for OP to accept that her food intake is not normal and that consequently she is feeling sad and low. I hope she blanks out the insults and looks at the sensible posts on here (Hec for example) and gets well.

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty Thu 16-May-13 10:29:12

Losing weight and BF is a losing battle because your body is the boss here. Your body will not let go of weight it wants to keep for milk making, no matter how hard you push it.

Reading between the lines, maybe there's a connection between your birth injuries and weight? Im thinking maybe if you 'look' how you did before the birth, soon you will 'feel' like you did beforehand too? It takes such a long time to properly recover from the upheaval of pregnancy and birth, and a lot of that is accepting that life is different now. You have my full sympathy, OP. ive just had my third baby, and i still bust my arse down the gym 4 times a week trying to get abs of steel. Part of me knows its never gonna happen, but part of me thinks that god loves a tryer!

Mimishimi Thu 16-May-13 10:31:27

You need more protein and nutritious fruits/vegetables especially if are breast feeding. You could also add some yoghurt for calcium etc. It ^is ^annoying when you're trying to be careful and people who eat absolute nonstop crap say "Oh you just must be naturally skinny" but I don't think you are eating healthily enough either.

Sugarice Thu 16-May-13 10:32:11

The thing is OP losing the weight hasn't made you happy has it?

I was very very strict about my calories and obsessed with not having an inch to pinch before having my pfb, having a baby saved me from falling into the grip of an eating disorder and I relaxed my attitude to food as I had to go back to work when ds1 was 4 months old and couldn't have coped eating as I had previously done.

You don't sound like that , you sound gripped by fear and you need to talk to the GP about that, the fear of bowel movements and how you've become scared to eat is a good starting point.

Good luck and be honest with yourself.

thebody Thu 16-May-13 10:34:47

Property.. the op in her op says she is sick of people calling her naturally skinny when she is not eating enough.

I have done this many times to loose weight. It's not an eating disorder it's a diet.

If the op feels she has a problem then she needs to go for medical help and not post on aibu.

She asked and in my opinion she is being unreasonable.

Not everyone who controls their weight like this had an 'eating disorder'

Some of us just deny ourselves treats to stay slim.

Onemole Thu 16-May-13 10:43:55

Have a pizza then, and some fruit so it doesn't hurt when you go. I found innocent smoothies a winner after giving birth as they helped the bowels move.
You'll enjoy you're baby's first year an awful lot more if you get this silly idea about being thin out of your head and work on becoming a healthy mother for your child.
More importantly, I don't know as I'm not medically trained, but does the quality of the baby's milk suffer if you are not eating a well balanced diet?

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 16-May-13 10:44:15

An apple for lunch and the same restricted meal every single night is an eating disorder not a diet.

olivertheoctopus Thu 16-May-13 10:46:30

Wow, sounds like being so bloody hungry is making you cross. I hope you're not bf'ing as well on that limited diet. Are you at your pre-pg weight? What were your eating habits like before you were pg?

thebody Thu 16-May-13 10:47:22

It is definatly a fine line and can be a slippery slope I agree.

There is a weight which you should not go below op.

For me that's 8 stone but you need to work that out for yourself.

Go see your GP anyway.

D0oinMeCleanin Thu 16-May-13 10:53:10

It's not just about weight TheBody, OP's diet will be lacking in tonnes of vitamins and esstential nutrients, plus protein.

I can't see any good protein sources, if the toast and pasta are white then there are aren't many fibre sources either. Calcium is missing, vit C, again if the bread and pasta are white vit B is missing, it's very low in iron, there are no sources of EFAs. It is just not healthy to eat that way. OP will be making herself ill and risking long term health issues in the future. It's no wonder she feels fed up.

You need a balanced diet for your body to function normally and that's without recovering from a traumatic birth and BF.

digerd Thu 16-May-13 10:58:46

As an older and wise lady, I am really concerned about your health.
That diet would not make your breast milk nutritious for your baby either. To produce the milk baby needs you have to eat more not less than usual. < very worried face>

CrazyOldCatLady Thu 16-May-13 11:03:39

OP, I had similar bowel problems for about 4 months after DS was born (he was almost 11lbs). I took Dulcolax every day and ate and drank plenty of fibre (black coffee's great!) and eventually it eased. I think there was probably extensive bruising in there and it took a while to settle.

Hang in there, it doesn't last forever.

Onemole Thu 16-May-13 11:07:03

Just to add, the 'baby' weight comes off itself through breastfeeding anyway. Your body uses stored fat to make milk. I am a long term breastfeeder, and after 3 pregnancies and large babies am about 8 and a half stone which at 5 foot 6 is fine for me. Personally I have never dieted or set foot in a gym. Love my pies, curries, pizzas and chocolate too much! DS is 12 months now though. 8 months ago I was probably about 11 stone.

fancyabakeoff Thu 16-May-13 11:09:35

Why is being called 'skinny' regarded as being a compliment?

shelldockley Thu 16-May-13 11:13:34

From your last post about being scared to go to the toilet, the things you are eating are really not helping the situation. Everyone says to up the fibre, but lots of water is even more important as are beans and lentils and good fats, you could also try a probiotic. Hopefully your appointment with the doctor will help you today.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Thu 16-May-13 11:16:02

Your milk will be fine btw

So are you wanting to be congratulated on having an eating disorder and worrying more about your weight than anything else.

Stop being a bloody martyr and eat properly. Who are you in competition with?

This is easily the most stupid op I have read here in a good while!

ChairmanWow Thu 16-May-13 12:00:34

OP I hope your appointment goes well today. It's a big step to go and discuss your eating habits with a health professional and takes a lot of courage. I hope you get whatever help you need to encourage you to eat a healthy, balanced diet. FWIW I too have suffered eating disorders in my youth and found CBT (via GP referral) to be incredibly beneficial.

Please don't take some of the nastier comments on here to heart. Find the support you need to deal with all your issues and hopefully you will be in better spirits soon.

inneedofsomehelpplz Thu 16-May-13 12:17:53

again, thanx for the people that have offered support. before pregnancy i was ahealthy size 10 & when pregnant my craving was if i saw it i ate it & put on 5 stone. i am now an unhealthy size 8 at 5ft8 tall. i have just been to the doctors and have papercut cuts round my bottom but eating pasta & bread is bad so am going to eat salad & fresh veg. he gave me lactulose to help me go. i think it all steemed from stopping eating lots when i knew i had to pass it & now feel ill. im just fed up with people thinking im slim naturally when actually im ill & now getting obsessed even though i know i look awful :-(

to the posters that have been unkind - i so hope you can understand that this is not attention seeking or look at me - im ill & need help not bitchiness.

shock holy moly!

op you have not long had a baby, and you are breast feeding. you are not eating enough for your body to cope with your daily routine or for feeding your baby. no wonder you sound fecking miserable. what you are doing is NOT healthy at all... for you OR your child!

please get some help

oops x-post

Technotropic Thu 16-May-13 12:40:24

LOL @ those saying, "OMG that diet won't give you the nutrients you need, eat the pizza"

Of course, that holy grail of nutrition; a pizza!

OP don't forget the protein and other stuff like fibre in your diet.

Pasta/bread is ok but in moderation and combined with a balance of fats/protein.

Balance your diet properly and you can still eat a fair amount and lose weight. It just has to be done sensibly. That toast/apple thing sound horrific so hope you get yourself sorted soon.

Best wishes smile

spidersandslugs Thu 16-May-13 12:45:13

YABU. I AM naturally skinny & bf my large 1yo ds. Albeit I do walk a hell of a lot with buggy and 3.5yo ds on buggy board. I eat LOADS more than you. Eat some bloody food ffs. You need it. Your baby needs it. Your quality of breast milk must be really poor.

Sample menu
Boiled egg & toast & yogurt or 2 weetabix & banana. & a glass of oj

Cheese salad sandwich

Cup of tea/coffee & two biscuits.

Spag bol bulked out with veg & custard & peaches.

PROTEIN. You need to eat protein regardless if bfing or not. It is v important for successful bfing.

spidersandslugs Thu 16-May-13 12:48:40

Sorry op. I see you are ill. But you still need to try eat properly. Hope you get well soon

EldritchCleavage Thu 16-May-13 12:51:06

OP, do look after yourself won't you?
Make sure you get good protein (lean meat, salmon, mackerel etc) and plenty of variety re veg and fruit. Nuts are also good in small quantities, and a boiled egg plus small slice of unbuttered toast, or a small bowl of porridge with mashed banana are good healthy breakfasts.

I completely sympathise re the bum issue: stool softener is your friend here, so I'm glad the doctor has given you lactulose. Also make sure you drink plenty of water, that really helps too.

For what it's worth I think 4 months on from birth is quite a hard time. There is an assumption you should have recovered from birth, but most of us haven't, and the baby is getting more active and demanding.

I'm glad you went to the GP smile

and that he took you seriously.

This too will pass. smile

fats do make it easier to poo, as well.

pancakes are a good start - egg, milk and flour, and then eat it with banana or other fruits - strawberries are in season now.

Goldrill Thu 16-May-13 13:17:10

OP - I sympathise. A bit. I've got a six month old who is just weaning, and am stillf Bfing 2.5 year old. I pretty much constantly but am now a stone lighter than when I conceived DD1 - and that was the skinniest I would ever choose to be. I have also had people compliment my skinniness and I do generally set them straight - I am not healthy-slim-toned and gorgeous; I am skinny-gaunt-saggy-with a pot belly and flabby skin. Massive difference.

But, thing is; this is for a short time only, and it's a time where the baby is more important than me/you. So, though I'm not keen on it (and I also have various post-pregnancy issues of a similar nature), I bloody well eat, eat,eat like it's going out of fashion, and I've been to the docs to check there's nothing else wrong, and I make sure I load up on things like oats. And sometimes you do just have to get on with it.

Good luck OP - hope you get your head round it.

ivanapoo Thu 16-May-13 18:35:30

I sympathise but no wonder it hurts to poo on that diet! Although apples are good.

Try prunes and dried apricots soaked in fruit juice overnight, with probiotic natural yoghurt.

Are you drinking loads and loads of water?

MoodyDidIt Thu 16-May-13 18:46:05

oh op sad

i was like you after having DC1, i can't remember his early weeks at all. i CAN remember being constantly starving, calorie counting and obsessively weighing myself. i even went as far as buying sibutramine online (a slimming pill which i now think has been banned?)

everyone was jealous and complimenting me on how skinny i was so quickly, but i was actually very depressed and had an eating disorder

pm if you want to chat. but if you don't, please try and eat more and if you can't then go to your gp x

ChairmanWow Thu 16-May-13 19:29:24

OP I'm so glad you're acknowledging that you're ill, wretched though it is. And really pleased that you're going to introduce some healthy foods into your diet - but without wanting to sound like a nagging parent you do need to eat significantly more than you are. Not getting enough calories leaves you exhausted, cold and, yes, depressed. In my experience gradually increasing the amount you eat is best when there's an unhealthy obsession with under eating. That way your stomach can adjust and you won't be left feeling too full and overwhelmed. Maybe try some multivitamins to give you a boost because you may well be deficient in various vits plus iron.

Glad you've got some Lactulose too. I've had two births - natural and via the sunroof - and that stuff helps a lot when you're scared to poo!

You've made a brilliant start today. The only way is up! smile

Samu2 Thu 16-May-13 20:27:38

WTF is all the "diddums" and "Do you want a medal?" type of comments?

Why would anyone be mean like that when the OP is obviously struggling? She's just had a baby and her hormones are everywhere and obviously not looking after herself properly.. those type of comments are mean and serve no purpose other than trying to be a bitch.

OP, I am glad you have seen your GP and I hope everything just gets better from here on out. You WILL feel better if you eat better, your mood will improve and if you genuinely can't eat more right now at least please try to eat a bit better.

Look after yourself, OP x

Well done you on getting some help.
Fair play to work really hard to get the weight off post-baby, I certainly couldn't do it, but I think you know you've taken it too far.

Another little thing to think about is that in just a couple of months your baby will be moving to solid food, and they will learn by copying, so you want them to see you eating a variety of healthy foods, happily. Maybe if you give yourself that as a kind of deadline in order to have a wider repertoire of food - and quite a bit more of it! - then you have a goal to work towards that isn't jsut about the scales.

Whoever said flapjack for snacks and eggs for breakfast, yes yes and yes! Also porridge for breakfast made with lots of milk is great - you can add bananas and fruit etc for extra fibre too. Chances are you will find yourself making porridge for about 2000 mornings on the trot soon for you LO, so you may as well start having it yourself!

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 20:43:57

you sound like you are not eating very much tbh peas and pasta isnt a great dinner is it, have a pizza

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 20:47:26

I am glad you have been to the dr you need to eat more than you are eating lovey good luck being hungry and ratty must be exhausting

RhondaJean Thu 16-May-13 20:50:51

Op I think a lot of people, me included, misunderstood your first post.

I come with a note of caution about the protein. I often do high protein diets to build my muscles (I love doing strength weight training) and it tends to bind me up, to put it politely. A lot of the guys I know do martial arts and eat protein only diets to cut weight for fights and they tell horrific stories about trying to go.

In the short term, I would up your carbs rather than protein but eat loads of fibre eg wholemeal bread and pasta, beans and legumes are good as they are protein and fibrous, fruit and veg until you feel you are healed.

But you do need to up your calorie intake somehow.

And no you do not need pizza!

pizza is a perfectly balanced meal.

it's bread, cheese, meat (optional) and vegetables.
all food groups in one.
very good for you.

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