To have judged this mum giving her kids their breakfast in the CAR!!???

(159 Posts)

One child had a bowl of cereal, spoon and all and the other was eating toast.
I thought really, how disorganised do you have to be not to give your children breakfast before they leave the house...

Fast forward three years and I practically serve up three course meals in the car as we are always in a rush, whilst they watch a DVD on the DVD player I was never ever going to have in my car....

What things did you get all judgemental about before you had kids and realised that you do whatever you can just to get through the day?!

HollyBerryBush Mon 13-May-13 21:21:46

Breakfast? whats that? that's why there are breakfast clubs and canteens.

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 13-May-13 21:22:02

Lol. I've done breakfast in the car a few times especially when dd has had a late night the night before due to performances and I've wanted to let her have as long a lie in as possible.

I think the only thing I remember judging was the fag mums. Fag in I've hand, pushchair in the other f ing and blinding in front if their toddler.

IvorHughJarse Mon 13-May-13 21:22:04

I remember being young and vile and thinking 'Oh can't you just shut him up' when wandering around supermarkets/sitting in restaurants. Now I'm a few years older and wiser I know that the answer is, 'No, sometimes you can't.'

In my defense, I was an ignorant cow but not one of those judgey eyebrow raisers.

Oh god yes, the supermarket wailing, I used to hate that.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Mon 13-May-13 21:23:06

I was very judgey about children with snotty noses - how hard could it be to wipe their nose?!

Fast forward to ds2 and I am now the proud owner of a snotty nosed child - no matter how often I wipe his nose, it's always one step ahead!!

I did meet a childminder who thought that it would be ok for our ds's to have a cereal bar for breakfast in the car on the way to school (and charge me £6 per hour per child for the privilege!). Needless to say I didn't take her up on the offer!

Fag mums still get my eyebrow raised

Valpollicella Mon 13-May-13 21:24:12

Ahahaha. DS has had a brioche walking down the road to his Grandmothers before. Bet I got judged for that grin

I don't understand how one child can produce so much snot...ds goes through boxes of Kleenex, I think we are keeping him in business

A brioche? Better if it was a lion bar at 7am...

Shakey1500 Mon 13-May-13 21:26:10

Ye Gads, loads of things!

Screaming kids in supermarkets-check
Kids running around restaurants-check
Crying kids on aeroplanes-check
Kids with dummies-check
Kids in prams with no socks on-check

I raised an inner eyebrow the other day when my friend and I took her 2y/o to the playground and wee one had a meltdown as we were leaving because she wanted to go on the swing again. Friend caved and let her.

"She'll do that again now she knows it works" thought I, the childless one in inappropriate footwear grin

Ooh I'd forgotten the sock thing...poor freezing baby, does that mum not care?

Oh DD where are your socks this time? Gah

LeaveTheBarSteward Mon 13-May-13 21:27:29

I still judge people with snotty nosed kids, sorry one of my pet hates, it looks disgusting.

Lol mermaid. My friend took her dd for a wee on the grass by the park and I thought that was the most vile thing I had ever seen.

We are quite good at al fresco peeing now, ds always needs the loo when we are miles away from a loo!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Mon 13-May-13 21:29:33

Dummies. I was never going to give my toddlers a dummy. Once they got to a year old, that was going to be it, dummies were going to go in the bin.

DS is 2 next month and still has them, simply because apart from me its the only thing that comforts him. It seems so cruel to take something away from him that makes calms and de-stresses him. I've made him cut down tho.

SirBoobAlot Mon 13-May-13 21:30:39

Why would cereal bars exist if children weren't supposed to eat then on the way to anywhere school?

LemonsLimes Mon 13-May-13 21:31:19

ha ha. I was rolling my eyes at your OP until i read the bit about you practically serving up three course meals in the car nowadays. grin I do still cringe at kids with unwiped snot running into their mouths

gloucestergirl Mon 13-May-13 21:31:35

I remember going into the off licence years ago and saw my old boss with his kid in a pram. He put a six-pack underneath and I thought "how inappropriate" very primly.

Fast forward a few years and me and DH went one stage further when stocking up for a boozy gathering. We took the baby out of the pram, into a carrier and used the whole pram to ferry various cans and bottles of wines. I did actually blush when I remembered how I had judged my old boss.

Now, I was raised to be a firm believer in the al fresco wee. I would never judge sensible peeling habits wink

IvorHughJarse Mon 13-May-13 21:32:05

Ah yes, dummies. I inheritied that little bigotry one from my mum. When DS was two days old I sent DH out to the 24 hour Tesco to get a pack of them and had the first few hours of sleep since he was born. When my mother did the dogs-bum face I told her I'd rather be common than suicidal.

Hassled Mon 13-May-13 21:32:42

Yeah sorry - I do still judge the snot a bit. The gag reflex probably clouds the judgement, in fairness.

Toy guns - my DCs were never, ever going to have toy guns. Toy guns are the devil's own work. DS1 just started making them out of Duplo, and now DS3 has a small arsenal.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Mon 13-May-13 21:33:41

BarSteward. It's not one of my favourite looks either!

Would you like me to pop ds2 in the post to you so that you can have a go at keeping up with his incredible snot producing nose - it's quite a challenge! wink

Lol at booze in the pram. What a genius idea

Shakey1500 Mon 13-May-13 21:35:48

Ivor I lasted 3 days after DS was born after nigh on swearing I wasn't going to be "one of those Mums" who "shoved"(<--my words) a dummy into a baby "just to stop it crying" shock blush

I once saw a woman raising her voice at her slightly unruly son in the supermarket and just remember looking at DD1 who was 7 months old and sitting in the trolley smiling and thinking that I would never raise my voice in public. I didn't realise it was possible to be that wrong about anything. wink

I didn't like the toy gun thing either, ds hasn't got to that age yet where he is interested but seeing as dh has a firearms licence and carries one at work now and then I don't suppose it will be long....sigh.

Oh yes shouting at your children in public, or letting them have a tantrum and walking off was also met with an inward groan...

blondefriend Mon 13-May-13 21:39:41

I wish I could get the snot controlled. DD had a constantly snotty nose at 2 years and now her younger brother is the same. I will wipe it, put the wipe in the bin, turn round and it's snotty again. Aaaahhhh!! And then he wipes it on my work trousers. Just before work. The second pair!

I used to judge people for giving the children food around the supermarket. Fast forward and a babybel or bread roll is often passed to dd.

We also use the pushchair to carry beer, especially at festivals. ;)

IvorHughJarse Mon 13-May-13 21:39:59

Hahahaha at 'Just to stop it crying'. This is what life becomes about with a newborn < whimpers at memory>

melodyangel Mon 13-May-13 21:40:00

Another one that was determined my DC's would not have toy guns.

<<stares at pile of guns a small army would be proud of>>

None are replica ones though just nerf...that makes it better...surely.

So basically we are all being judged by childless people. All The Time!

pointythings Mon 13-May-13 21:42:01

I have frequently served up breakfast in the car - on those occasions where I had to drop off the DDs early due to work commitments. I called it 'portable breakfast' and they loved it.

Snot - I have chased it wherever I could but have not always succeeded.

Dummies - DDs didn't want them, but I would have if they had.

Judging - no, don't really do very much of that.

nilbyname Mon 13-May-13 21:43:29

Nature wee- check
Car picnic- check
Tantrums in the supermarket- check
Chocolatey bribes- check
Use of a dummy past 12m-check

Oh dear, patenting fail my life.

raisah Mon 13-May-13 21:43:49

The stupid idiot who lives on the other side of the fence at the bottom of my garden used to complain loudly if my 3 month dd cried. Fast forward 2 years her dd cries none stop, she walks about fag in hand, bright pink onesies and wonders why she is single. She is awful & I am being judgy.
yes she has an orange face and a white neck.

LaVitaBellissima Mon 13-May-13 21:44:41

Yes I was definitely not going to have snotty children - how can two small people provide so much mucus - it is beyond disgusting!

maddening Mon 13-May-13 21:45:09

I did and still do judge

Babies with ribena in baby bottle
Parents swearing at their dc - eg in alton towers a woman shouting at her no more than 2yo "shut the fuck up you little shit" I judged her then as childless me and I would very much judge her today.

Oh yes I'd forgotten the "be a good boy and you can have a ....xyz"
What dreadful parenting grin

stealthsquiggle Mon 13-May-13 21:46:17

I dare say DD's poor teacher who has to put up with cheese-breath (and occasionally cheese-and-salami breath) in the mornings is judging for all she is worth, and I probably would have done pre DC (or even pre DD) too, but TBH when you have 2 constantly bickering DC who are seriously, deeply, not morning people, you will let them eat whatever they damned well like wherever they damned well like as long as they eat something before school (and yes, that includes breakfast in the car, but not cereal and milk FGS - my car would permanently stink of sour milk. Yuk).

Ah but there is no excuse for swearing at little ones

PoppyWearer Mon 13-May-13 21:49:15

My DCs frequently eat their breakfast on the way to school/nursery these days. I give them aaaaaages to eat it before we have to leave the house, but inevitably they faff around and we end up taking some with us, whether walking or in the car.

I stick to toast, or those packs of dry Cheerios. Much more portable than milky cereal!

IvorHughJarse Mon 13-May-13 21:51:01

I was judged by my FIL yesterday when I refused to wrestle a pointy thing he'd left laying around in his garden away from DS; after asking him to give it to me eleventy million times I told him that if he injured himself on it it was his own bloody fault. FIL muttered 'Well that's hardly good enough' and he got the DEATH STARE. You fucking take it off him, I have osteitis pubis and it fucking hurts to move

nevergoogle Mon 13-May-13 21:51:16

mine eat the leftover breakfast cereal in the car on the way home from after school club too! thankfully they like it dry without milk.

i am a terrible mother.

LeaveTheBarSteward Mon 13-May-13 21:51:30

Iwish yes I'll give it a go. I've made ds's nose sore from wiping it so much. I'm sure you're just not wiping it enough but as a few others have said the same I may concede!
Talking of noses, I swore I would never picks ds's nose after seeing someone do it when I was pregnant. One of my fave things to do now!

fritteringtwit Mon 13-May-13 21:51:34

I get a bit judgey when I see someone in pyjamas/velcro rollers combo, fag in hand, pushing a pram dragging along a reception class age child who is eating a chocolate bar and drinking a carton of juice for breakfast. Poor little thing is pale and looks knackered. His nose is always snot free though and I've not seen either of them weeing on the grass verge yet

pictish Mon 13-May-13 21:53:08

I took practically no notice of children whatsoever before I had them myself, so I was never judgey like that. If a kid was screaming it would barely register because it wasn't my responsibility.
I seldom hung out in places where you would find children, and if I did, I would make sure I was as far away as possible, as they did not interest me.
I didn't mind them either...they were fine...but I saw and judged very little because it was nothing to do with me or my life.
I thought being a parent looked horrendous, but vaguely guessed there must be something rewarding in it, otherwise we wouldn't keep on doing it.

As you can guess, our first child was unplanned. My expecations were blank, as I had never considered having a baby up until that point.

As it is...I have never got into the habit of judging other parents on small incidents alone. Peeing on the grass? Don't care. Fag mum? Nothing to do with me. Screaming in the supermarket? Not my kid, so no worries.

I seem to be missing the bosom hoiking not-the-way-I-would-do-it chip. I didn't care before I had kids, and I don't much care now.

SanityClause Mon 13-May-13 21:54:07

Parents with snot-nosed children, perhaps they have a food intollerance?

Reading this thread, I realised that DS no longer has snot trailing into his mouth, since we cut out gluten, eggs and dairy (he was tested, we didn't just randomly cut out those three).

We did the intollerance test because of constant tummy aches, and wind, and that has improved beyond all recognition, as well, but I didn't even make the connection with the snotty nose until just now!

Hemlet Mon 13-May-13 21:54:41

Oh who gives a Chinese teste??

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 13-May-13 21:54:45

oh god, everything! I was the best mum in the world before I had children.

dummies, for example. Many a sermon was given by me on how my children would never <looks down nose> have a dummy.

My eldest was addicted to the bloody things. Practically needed a dummy patch to wean him off them.

CrapBag Mon 13-May-13 21:57:15

I admit there isn't much that I have changed my mind on tbh. I am more tolerant of children rolling around on the floor/generally climbing on things because DS is a bugger for it, no matter how many times I say "please stop rolling around the aisle", not actually sure why he does it.

But I judge dummies when they are being used and not actually needed, ie roughly 3 year old in a swimming pool does not need a dummy in their mouth.

I judge parents who are leaning over their children with a fag in their mouth.

I judge parents who swear at their children.

I judge pregnant mums who stand by the school gate having their fags.

I still don't like snotty noses.

I never judges eating out and about though. Would never have occurred to me to care.

Chinese teste? Am I missing something?

everlong Mon 13-May-13 21:57:34

grin at three course meals in the car.

You do what you need to, that's it.

We eat on the way to school sometimes, usually ds's second breakfast though. Wet wipes at the ready in the side of my door wink

pictish Mon 13-May-13 21:57:48

I will concede to finding snot and drool covered children a total turn off. No matter how attractive they are, if they are sticky or slimey I'm not enchanted in any way. Please give them a wipe.

idiot55 Mon 13-May-13 21:57:48

kids with dummies, gurning in supermarkets, parents letting their toddlers wee at the side of the road etc!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 13-May-13 21:57:58

oooh, I've just thought of one after I became a parent!

Teenagers.

When my sister's daughter hit the demon years and was talking to her parents like they were shit on her shoe, I judged. My children would NEVER talk to ME like that! etc etc. One word from me and they would never ever give me lip. I wouldn't stand for it.

Now I have 2 full blown Kevins and my sister has a grin on her face so large you can see it from the international Space Station

sweetsoulsister Mon 13-May-13 21:58:46

Ahhh yes, the sweet memories of pregnant belly number one. I had no morning sickness, I rubbed oil night and day to prevent stretch marks, I did yoga so my baby would be as calm as I was, ahhh yes, I would just stroke her sweet head and she would drift off to sleep.

7 months in to my pregnancy, let's visit DP's friend whose wife has just had a C-section. Cue gasps of horror as she mentions that she lets her baby co-sleep so they can function semi-normally throughout the rest of the day.

2 months later, fuck the yoga, co sleeping involves my colic ridden little one sleeping chest to chest with me and continues sleeping with me for four fucking years...karma came around and kicked me in the ass!!

Teenagers....? Mine aren't going to be teenagers, they will bypass that stage totally.
Please god

Primadonnagirl Mon 13-May-13 22:00:50

purple is your DH a teacher ?!! I have obviously never taken my SDCs to McDonald's or KFC..I never gave them gallons of Sunny D either..cos of course it's so much worse when you are a wicked stepmother...never started a sentence with " don't tell Daddy .." either!!

How did I forget co-sleeping? What a stupid thing to do, rod for your own back etc etc....hey move over dd stop hogging the bed!

hwjm1945 Mon 13-May-13 22:02:14

Like picture,did not have strong feelings about other people's kids,but was v judgmental about lazy women who had kids so they could get six months off work on MAT leave..and then stayed at home..what a stupid and ignorant person I was!I thought MAT leave would be like being on holiday with a cute little bundle

A teacher? Ha ha no

ivykaty44 Mon 13-May-13 22:03:38

we constantly do breakfast in the car at weekend so dd can stay in bed a bit longer (think teen getting up at 7.30 on a sunday - thats am)

hwjm1945 Mon 13-May-13 22:04:31

Back to original post..I was slapped by DD outside school recently......I shouted at her,she ran off,I like to think the only saving grace so far as watchers are concerned is that I am well spoken....I never intended to scream at the in the street.....

I actually don't do the fast food thing, but they are only 3 and 10 months so I've time for that yet wink

IvorHughJarse Mon 13-May-13 22:05:29

I still find co-sleeping a difficult concept. I don't judge it - in any way shape or form, you do what you do because it works for you and I know that there are all sorts of wonderful benefits to it - I just cannot imagine ever doing it. When DS was tiny I was terrified of him and the only time I could get away from him was when I was in bed. If he'd been in there with me I probably would have broken down completely confused But that probably says more about me than co-sleepers....

IwishIwasmoreorganised Mon 13-May-13 22:05:37

Sanity would there be any other symptoms of a food intolerance?

BarSteward I'll wait to hear back from Sanity before looking for the cheapest courier for ds2. Whereabouts are you?!

DS (3) often has his lunch at the supermarket sat in the trolley whilst I do the shop, very quickly, in relative peace & quite.

I got the idea from seeing someone do this in my prechild days. I judged them heavily. I often wonder if there is someone judging me who will go on to see the light grin

BlackeyedSusan Mon 13-May-13 22:14:56

dummies? envy mine never took a dummy, just chewed on boobies instead, ouch.

ds has run around the library tonight, sworn, hit, shouted, kicked. bloody school winding him up into an asd meltdown again oh yes, I would have judged, being a teaacher and being able to control whoile class... for them to go home and have a meltdown at home

oh and some kids are snotty. there were children in my clss who could produce a continual stream for days at a time, no matter how often you told them to wipe their nose.

LaVitaBellissima Mon 13-May-13 22:24:37

DTD's are in the thick of aSummer cold, they are not normally snotty children, but it is like a thick yellow snotty tap, yuck, yuck, nine million baby wipes but it's still coming. Please don't judge me smile

PrincessScrumpy Mon 13-May-13 22:25:42

Dummies - i'm now grateful dtd2 will take one, just wish dtd1 would... Believe me we tried!

Bumpotato Mon 13-May-13 22:46:44

I'm another one who has transported booze in the pram while carrying the baby.

thebody Mon 13-May-13 22:47:21

Oh god yes op, pre kids judgy as hell.

But now my youngest is 14 I is getting judgy again.

Eeek. Got to watch myself.

LemonsLimes Mon 13-May-13 22:50:45

I judged someone for shouting in her child's face in a shopping centre. I've shouted yes, but not right in a child's face.

McNewPants2013 Mon 13-May-13 22:52:10

kids on reins, that was until i had a bolter and reins was very much needed.

never was going to shout at my children, but dear god they only listen when i do.

sweets was another thing.

op I thank you for starting this thread, after a shitty day it cheered me up.

mrsjay Mon 13-May-13 22:54:10

My child WILL NOT HAVE A DUMMY she had it till she was 3

whois Mon 13-May-13 22:55:27

Eating breakfast in the car is purely efficient. Why have dead time sitting in the car when it can be breakfast AND commute time.

mrsjay Mon 13-May-13 22:55:28

I will explain what I mean to my children so they know why it is important to behave blah blah I am a cos I said so mother grin

My sister judges me (or so my mum tells me) because my daughter wears a lot of pink. To be fair, she does but 75% of her clothes are handy downs and we were given a lot of pink. For goodness sake its a colour!!

As a former SLT I used to pull up my judgy pants at parents who never did any of the worksheets etc i sent home but now I have my own children I feel very bad for doing so, its not as easy as just doing it is it (looks guiltily at the homework sheet still not tackled).

mrsjay Mon 13-May-13 23:09:07

I used to work in preschool before children and I would always think is it so difficult to hand a signed slip back to the headteacher if they were going to trips or out for a walk, Now with about 15 years of kids being at school I am still looking for a pen before they go out the door as i launch the screwed up permission slip at them grin

Oh me too mrsjay.

I bought the wrong permission slip with me to Beavers tonight and the raised eyebrows that caused made me very aware that I'd been judged and found lacking.

I'm a teacher and I forget to hand in letters and forms at my daughters pre school. She eats toast in the car ashed down with fruit juice. She has a dummy at night because I want to sleep. and the only reason her nose isn't snotty is because she's just wiped in on MY sleeve before i had chance to get a tissue to her. In addition to this.... real sign of a bad mum here... I haven't ironed her stuff either!!!

And on one occasion when my eldest had scoffed al the bread she went with a tesco pre-packed butty in her lunch box.

I do not judge.

mrsjay Mon 13-May-13 23:17:26

I am always looking for a permssion slip, I excelled the other day I was looking for a slip for a drama thing dd is doing , I hunted high and low she went to her group on instruction to ask for a new 1, she came home said X said he didnt give out slips it is just the money he needs blush

MummyBurrows Mon 13-May-13 23:24:33

I love this thread!

I used to judge parents before I had my own child.....still judge a bit now too!

I thought,I'm never going to give my child a dummy just to shut it up....yea she's now 3 and its still my last resort go-to if she's having a complete meltdown and chocolate won't work...

Also thought I was never going to be one of those mums who would feed their child crisps or chocolate at all until they were at least 5....yea.....that didn't pan out.....

Thought I'd never let my child out in public if wearing mucky clothes or was dirty....I've now lost count of the number of times I've popped into tesco on the way home from nursery with her top,hands,hair and face covered in Paint,felt tip,sand,glitter.....oh and snot!

Thought I'd never let my child eat in the car or round the supermarket.....now never leave the house without a snack or 2 for in the car and round the supermarket,failing that I rip off the end of a French stick and give her that to eat on the way round (pay for the whole stick at the end obviously!)

My judgey pants still come out when I see pregnant women smoking,women walking along pushing buggies smoking or children's faces that are caked in dried-on snot! Runny noses I can handle but dried on snot gets to me! Also children screaming round the aisles in the supermarket throwing a major tantrum bugs me,just give the kid something to eat from out your trolley and shut him/her up or leave them at home with someone instead if possible if you know they hate shopping. screaming babies are excluded...

SlingsAndArrows Mon 13-May-13 23:28:01

Definitely dummies. I was so snobby about them before DS, and now I thank God on a daily basis that they exist. They are like some kind of incredible, magic baby silencer.

We still feel a little bit ashamed of using them though - and we feel ashamed that we are ashamed. (Can you tell we're Catholic? smile )We call dummies "Voldemorts" (they that shall not be named) in public.

mrsjay Mon 13-May-13 23:29:31

do you give your child a hit of the dummy in secret slings grin

Manchesterhistorygirl Mon 13-May-13 23:31:44

I once was the judged mum. Ds1 aged about 2 was having a monumental tantrum and being carried unceremoniously dragged out of a supermarket by dh and I and we walked past a couple with their brand new pfb. Oh they looked us up and down and smug smiled at each other whilst throwing us dirty looks. I did say shouted one day, one day this will be you!

Szeli Mon 13-May-13 23:34:50

Totally with you on this one slings

If we're going anywhere but home I won't take one either - can't risk people actually seeing him with a dummy!

It's ridiculous!

Snazzynewyear Mon 13-May-13 23:35:32

I happily still judge but I like to think it's about the important stuff. wink I was once in the camp of 'why do people let their kids interrupt adult conversations all the time - I will make mine wait and say "excuse me" politely', but now I wilt under the sheer machine-gun fire like stream of chatter I get from DS. It's easier just to answer.

Plus the in-car DVD player has been the best money I have ever spent in my life, ever. Value per use has been unbelievable.

mrselizabethdarcy Mon 13-May-13 23:45:20

i used to judge when babies were out at night - they should be asleep and in bed at 6 surely?? ..... until i had a child who would not sleep AT ALL. and the only thing that kept me awake and sane was to put him in his pram and go to the shop on the corner that was thankfully open til 11pm.

melodyangel Mon 13-May-13 23:52:00

Manchesterhistorygirl grin

stopgap Mon 13-May-13 23:56:24

I am a little bit cat's bum about certain things. Sorry grin

Toddlers having doughnuts or cupcakes for breakfast.
Dummies past the age of two.
Kids permanently strapped into their strollers (common around here).
Small toddlers glued to ipads while in strollers/out to brunch.

TheSecondComing Tue 14-May-13 00:02:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dunkintea Tue 14-May-13 00:12:14

Dummies ! First time around was no way Pfb was having one , soon changed my mind about a week in . With DS2 dummies were packed in the labour/ hospital bag.
Pre DC I would be judgy when saw dribbling teething babies with bibs on in pushchairs etc, remember thinking why on earth have a bib on in public if not eating ?!
Am a fan of portable breakfast dry Cheerios definitely the best smile

lorisparkle Tue 14-May-13 00:19:48

I could never understand those parents who let their children sleep in their bed or did a bit of bed swapping in the night. Why did they not just put the child back in its own bed. Fast forward a couple of years and DS3 is always creeping into our bed in the night and on more than one occasion I have had all three DS in our bed and DH in DS3's bed! Life is so much simpler when you are not chronically sleep deprived!

chipmonkey Tue 14-May-13 00:22:32

Ds3 has sometimes had a jam sandwich in the car when I realise that he hasn't had breakfast and has missed the nursery breakfast deadline. Mainly because the memory of driving away from the nursery in tears because the manager said ds2 would get no breakfast as he was too late, still haunts me...
Ds1 had a nose like a fountain. We found that it was much better when we changed him from cows to goats milk but it was almost 2 years in when we made that discovery!

Ooh: smoking, dummies past two, four year olds in buggies, snotty faces. I still judge all these harshly.

Delayingtactic Tue 14-May-13 00:35:24

Ha! My PFB was going to switch to beakers seamlessly and I would never continue bottles past 12 months. He's two and still has milk in bottles overnight. I now just pop two on his side table for him to get as needed - doubly lazy.

I would never feed food to my child in the supermarket. Now I head straight to the packaged fruit as soon as we get there.

I would explain all motherly if he was behaving badly in public. Now I'm one of those moms who kneels besides their child and hisses whispered warnings. I have died a little inside if he's throwing a proper tantrum and I fireman carry him out.

Startail Tue 14-May-13 00:36:39

I was never ever going to swear at my DCs in public.
I never made any promises about shouting, just swearing.

Well I've nearly managed it, apart from once in Halfords car park when I told DD2(9/10) to "fucking stop being awkward and do as she was told"

In my defence DD2 did go through a phase of deciding the world revolved around her.

MyShoofly Tue 14-May-13 00:40:39

I used to judge people with toys all over the house, children's art work in every nook and cranny......I write this surveying the chaos that my two have unleashed on our living room including and the artwork I've proudly propped up all willy-hilly all over the house.

brew

MyShoofly Tue 14-May-13 00:41:11

That would be willy-nilly....

Softlysoftly Tue 14-May-13 00:41:36

Omg I thought from the title you'd seen me! This morning was the first morning ever dd1 had cereal and milk in tuppeware and a smoothie on her way to preschool, very glad I read the rest!

Yesterday I also faced lots of judginess for carrying dd2 (11m) and pushing a screaming dd1 (3) in the buggy as she had run away in a huge shopping centre for the 2nd time then left a shop with a very embarrassed man she had never met so buggy was the safe option until the car.

I could feel The judgy pants off the many people in the lift who felt her wrathful kicking and screaming blush whispers that would have been me judging pre toddler!

sashh Tue 14-May-13 06:05:00

Dummies. I was never going to give my toddlers a dummy.

Slight hijack, no kids but I do have some common sense.

I was attempting to record a baby's ECG. Ideally you need to person still and relaxed, this baby was less than a week old.

You also cannot have skin/skin contact so no sitting on mum or even mum holding hand.

Baby was a bit squirmy (have yo come across one who wasn't) so I asked the nurse if they had brought a dummy from the ward.

I get a lecture on not giving dummies to babies.

With a dummy you can do an ECG in 30 seconds, without, well you have to record bits when baby is still. It can take an hour.

I never judge anyone giving their baby a dummy

AnnoyedAtWork Tue 14-May-13 06:13:37

>3yo kids in buggies
Screaming on public transport

grumpyinthemorning Tue 14-May-13 06:32:54

Screaming kids. I'll admit I'm still not keen, but I have accepted that it happens. Sometimes there's nothing to do but wait for it to pass.

Other than that, I don't think I was ever judgey. Quite practical, me.

Weegiemum Tue 14-May-13 06:58:47

I used to judge older dc in buggies.

Until dd2 was diagnosed with Perthes syndrome (a degenerative hip condition) and was put on strict non-weight-bearing instructions. First it was her own buggy then when she was 5 we got a major from physio. Cue numerous old ladies telling me she was "too big" for a buggy (as she sat in it doing her reading homework in her school uniform). Yes, cos I'm choosing this?

I also judged dummies (we had taken dd1 and ds dummies away at about 8 months) but we never got a chance with dd2 - she was sucking her thumb on a scan at 35 weeks (I had complications) and now at age 9 she's facing major orthodondistry in the next few years as she can't keep it out of her mouth!!

KatyDid02 Tue 14-May-13 06:59:35

Those terrible parents who let their children eat their meals sitting on the sofa and not having a conversation with them.
DD (14) is opposite me right now, she's tucking into a shredded wheat and caramel soya yoghurt with banana whilst I'm on here. Oh the shame grin

We do have a dining room table, honest.

icklemssunshine1 Tue 14-May-13 07:01:17

Ha ha! Love this! I too was a judgey and childless. Here are the things I do that I SWORE I wouldn't:

-Giving food as a bribe. Fast forward to a meltdown in Boots where DD had one of her meltdowns. Picked up packet of (life saving Quavers) & thus got a quiet shopping trip. I did hand the empty packet to the sales assistant who didn't judge me so she too just be a mother!
-No chocolate, chips or McDonalds. Only haven't done McDonalds as we don't go there but rest is a staple diet. Surely it's better not to deprive so they won't binge later in life?!
-Plonking kids in front of TV. Thank God for Peppa Pig. It is even saved on our V+ box in our bedroom so when DD wakes up & we want a few extra minutes shut eye we bring her in & sit her in bed.

Hang my head in shame.

Sparklymommy Tue 14-May-13 07:04:05

Glad I am not the only one with the dummy double standards! I caved after about three days with DD1 due to DH continiously putting his finger in her mouth. I figured I could at least sterilise the dummy!

RooneyMara Tue 14-May-13 07:04:48

I used to feel upset at being run over by pushchairs in busy shops. I used to think, why can't you go shopping without them! shock

Now I am a complete pushchair obsessive and get quite cross when I can't get through a crowd of people on legs grin

sorry but ive two kids and im still judgemental.
the snotty nose thing? gross!
children with dummies? not nice!
mums who smoke while pushing a pram or outside the school gates? yuck!(and im a smoker!)
i also cant stand it when mothers dress the kids in cheap,scruffy badly fitting clothes while wearing expensive,designer gear themselves.
amy money i have gos on my children first.
am i judgy? yes!

AaDB Tue 14-May-13 07:12:57

I wish ds would eat breakfast in the way to school. It would save time when we have to leave before 7am. He is starving and must eat when he first wakes. He has a second 'breakfast dessert' at school. Hobbit.

DC can make a gun out of anything. We just call them blasters.

I threw his dummy and bottles away when he was one. Please don't judge or ask me to explain why. He still sucks his clothes and it drives me insane.
My new mantra is I'd rather be common than suicidal.

I don't like it when people swear at little children.

I'm getting more judgmental about smoking. I didn't used to care at all. I think it's old age creeping up on me.

cory Tue 14-May-13 07:26:55

I was so proud of myself for not giving dd a dummy: I really felt superior to the other mums. I ended up with a child who sucked her fingers for yeeears. You can't take the finger off and send it to Santa. Bad, bad choice.

NynaevesSister Tue 14-May-13 07:36:03

No TV in the mornings and rationed at other times. Who would have thought two owl parents would have a lark child? Now I let him play games on my phone and/or watch TV otherwise I have no idea how I would survive the 5am starts.

FuckThisShit Tue 14-May-13 07:37:10

I always judged dummies. There was no way that any of my children would have dummies. So the first three didn't. Number 4 does and I judge myself FFS!

DD1 is 19 and STILL sucks her fucking thumb. When she was three she broke the valuable sucking thumb and I thought 'yippee' she'll stop now. I got that wrong and she just switched.

DD2 never did, she just slept, seemingly like a cat.

DS sucked his thumb, but stopped suddenly when he was 4.

DD3 wanted to be permanently attached to one boob or other and I caved when she was six weeks and gave her a dummy. She is 4 and still has the sodding thing at night. In fact she would rather give up anything than stop with her dummy at night. TBF to her, she is realising that she's too old and won't let anyone else see it. We saw a 4/5 year old walking about with one stuck in her gob and DD3 actually did the catsbum face and judged --so did I-, so I'm hopeful that it might be the beginning if the end.

youarewinning Tue 14-May-13 07:40:35

I swore I'd never be one of those parents who talk to their child constantly - especially going round the supermarket.

Roll on a few years and I'm having to do it to keep DS from running off, wandering towards whatever hi brain is thinking at the time, talking to everyone and anyone else who looks his way will listen.

So next time you see a woman trying to read labels on things in the supermarket -as DS has allergies- whilst talking/ questioning said DS in length about what minecraft, trains, Top Gear etc - PLEASE give me a sympathetic smile - I will NO LONGER judge. grin

GingerPCatt Tue 14-May-13 07:47:24

I used to totally judge my sils for giving dns unhealthy food. Now DS is not a great eater and ill pretty much let him eat anything and some days he servives on potatoes and ice cream. hmm

SoupDragon Tue 14-May-13 07:48:58

Mine used to have a bowl of dry cereal and a beaker of milk in the car. Much less scope for mess.

spidersandslugs Tue 14-May-13 07:52:58

I must admit I'm no where near as judgmental as I once was.

I do however judge 'fag mums', mothers who prop a bottle up for their babies as a means to continue clothes shopping & parents who never read to their children.

monkeymamma Tue 14-May-13 08:10:10

Permissions slips - dh's dad did a clear out recently and found several permissions slips dh had forgotten to hand over when he was at school (dh is 40 next year).
I was only judgy about food-faced grubby toddlers (back when I had a cherubic, immaculate BF baby). Post-weaning ds constantly wants snacks when out and about, and seems able to smear them over his face and clothes in seconds. He also screams like a banshee if I try to wipe his face so often choose to be judged for grubbyface rather than screaming toddler...

PurplePidjin Tue 14-May-13 08:10:21

I'm lucky. I have mumsnet.

DP, on the other hand...

Apparently our 6mo pfb will have no games consoles until he's a teenager. Chocolate buttons will be unnecessary in potty training. Junk food will not feature on his radar (actually, we don't eat it so hopefully we can get him to school before he has McDonalds) etc.

I don't laugh inside while nodding and smiling. Oh no hmm

CelticPromise Tue 14-May-13 08:15:33

I used to judge older kids in buggies. Now I have just bought a carrier for pushing 4yo DS because I am sick of carting the buggy around and he won't walk any distance.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Tue 14-May-13 08:19:04

I used to judge mums losing their temper. Now I judge myself when I do it! blush
I wish I could be one of those eternally serene mothers.

Littleturkish Tue 14-May-13 08:32:20

I was going to exclusively BF and never give my baby a bottle.

Lasted two weeks.

bohoec Tue 14-May-13 08:47:54

We're all being judged by people a few steps behind - new parents judge the parent with the screaming toddler, parents of toddlers judge the mum on the school run providing brekkie on the go, parents of school age children judge the teenagers' parents, and so it goes on. The childless ones judge us all. And I was one if them! blush

I now know everyone just has to do what they have to do to help their little ones make their way, and keep themselves sane while doing it! As long as you're not being cruel, neglectful or damaging their health (pram fags, sweary mums etc) I will not judge.

I was going to do everything perfectly, I judged dummies, bottles past 12 months, babies with no hats in winter and older children in buggies.

My dd had a dummy in SCBU and gave it up just after her 4th birthday, She never had a bottle past 12months she never drank milk again, I still kind of judge the hat thing but now know its easier said than done and as for buggies my dd has SN she will prob still be using a buggy for the school run.

mistlethrush Tue 14-May-13 08:54:51

I used to be judgy about sun tans on children - until I found that I could slap on factor 50 liberally on a regular basis and still end up with a nut brown child (except for the bits under the wetsuit that just help to show off the tan)

HalfBakedAlaska Tue 14-May-13 09:31:43

Totall agree, sashh. Our son had to have a lumbar puncture when he was a day

HalfBakedAlaska Tue 14-May-13 09:34:17

Duh - iPhone fail. Sorry! Should read:

Our son had to have a lumbar puncture when he was a day old. The nurse in SCBU asked if she could use a dummy to soothe him while they were doing the procedure (we were advised to not be in the room). No way were we going to say no. He still gets a lot of comfort from his dummy.

angelos02 Tue 14-May-13 09:45:37

YANBU. When I was a kid our family all sat around the dining table for breakfast. Every day. Fucking breakfast clubs. WTF is wrong with this country.

StanleyLambchop Tue 14-May-13 09:51:36

I used to be really sniffy about why my pregnant colleague was late to work every morning, because it was only a bit of morning sickness wasn't it?

Well fate has certainly paid me back for that as I had two completely vomit filled pregnancies, morning noon & night for about 8 1/2 months! I try not to judge anything at all now (although I really don't like seeing anyone smoking around babies)

HeffalumpTheFlump Tue 14-May-13 10:37:48

I'm pregnant with dc1tobe and like one of the previous posters most of these things have passed me by. The only thing I can remember being really judgy about was a lady and her ds in a supermarket. She stepped backwards and didn't see her ds was behind her, falling straight on her bum taking him down with her. Instead of laughing it off she stood up, yanked her ds to his feet and shouted in his face. She then dragged him out of the supermarket quite forcefully, hissing at him about how much trouble he was in. I know im not yet a parent but I hope I'm never like that.

loofet Tue 14-May-13 10:39:19

I always have and still do judge parents who smoke, swear or get drunk in front of their kids. That will never change. I also get judgey of 'happy meal kids' and kids in pushchairs where they're so big for it their feet are dragging on the floor.

Thankfully I never was judgemental towards kids having tantrums or babies screaming because when it happens it's awful enough without having a million glaring looks and tuts/sighs.

loofet Tue 14-May-13 10:40:13

Oh yeah and I'm judgey of parents who hit their kids too.

Ah that reminds me. Before I had kids I was a manager with about 12 staff. I couldn't understand why they needed so much time off for sick kids, I used to think they were making it up. Surely kids can't get ill that often. Ask your husband to look after them I'd say.

Now I am a mum I realise just how often they are poorly (ds was very sickly as a baby) and that they really don't want their dads. (And I realise what a total arse I was being!!)

Tee2072 Tue 14-May-13 10:43:11

sashh the first person to give my son a dummy was a SCBU nurse. She said 'Do you mind? It's comforting him and helping him associate his full tummy with sucking and swallowing (he was fed through a tube).'

My reply was 'Oh fuck no. Give him two!' grin I may not have actually said fuck. But I may have.

gail734 Tue 14-May-13 11:22:01

I've never been judgey about dummies. What's wrong with a dummy? MN helps me to discover new ways in which I'm being judged! I ostentatiously walk around Asda with a pair of socks in my hand so that the poor little match girl in the buggy (DD10 mo) doesn't make people cry. Smoking pregnant makes me shudder - I only gave up because I was pregnant. I used to say "My child won't know what a chocolate button IS!" (hollow laugh).

Heffa that's horrible. I hate seeing people screaming abuse at their kids for no reason. I'm always the one lone voice going, hey stop that! (Then running away before I get lamped)

southbank Tue 14-May-13 12:03:30

can't beleive how many people judge dummies!
Another one here whose son was given a dummy in scbu,
as I was in mat ward with his twin sister and very ill anything that gave him comfort I fully supported as he was alone for long periods of time.
He gave his dummy up at 3.5yrs,sorry but judge away!it was his comfort,it soothed him,got him to sleep,calmed him down,and was his safety net ifswim,and I wasn't about to take that away from him before he was ready.
However when he was ready he happily handed it over,no harm done whatsoever.
I'm the kind of parent who will judge the person judging anothers child or parenting and say something,for example I was on a train last week with a crying baby in my carriage,a young couple were tutting away saying can't they shut it up,I told them 'no she can't just shut it up,it's a baby,remember this when you have your own kids'!

EasilyBored Tue 14-May-13 12:14:42

I judge dummies when the child is running around, talking with it in their mouth. Not fussed otherwise. I tried to get DS to have on when he was little, but no joy.

I was a bit judgy about food - but I have a toddler who eats like a sparrow and I will pretty much let him eat anything now. And if I'm eating something, I feel like I can't really say know, so he shares all my cake/biscuits/crisps if he catches me eating them. I also used to be judgy about people who's children were having tantrums out in public, but now I'm just like 'phew, it's not me carrying my toddler out of a shop under my arm while he screams today!', and try and offer sympathetic looks.

I am still very judgy about children playing games that aren't age appropriate (I'm looking at you family member who lets their three year old plat CoD, unsupervised). But I'm actually jealous of people who can get their toddler to sit and watch a half hour programme. DS just kind of glances at In The Night Garden/Peppa Pig etc in a kind of disinterested way and goes back to rampaging round the house. Half an hour of down time in front of the TV would be useful!

I hate it when people swear and scream at their children, or drag them around by the arm. I nearly confronted someone the other week who literally dragged their child (about 4 or 5) across a car park by his arm, with his toes dragging on the floor. Poor boy was really upset, and I know it would have been dangerous to let him run off, but it looked so painful. I didn't confront him though as I had wriggling, whining, flailing DS in my arms and I figured it would look a bit hypocritical for me to say anything when I was essentially restraining my child and the only difference being that he's still small enough to be picked up.

OrmirianResurgam Tue 14-May-13 12:20:10

Most things. I had A Plan before my children were born.

LaQueen Tue 14-May-13 12:21:01

Pah - I fully intended to batch cook organic mush for my DD1, carefully spoon it into ice-cube trays, and then de-frost as required...

24 hours into weaning (DD1 spat it all back, then howled), and already with rampaging morning sickness with DD2...I rushed to Tesco, and bought a trolley full of Hipp Organic...never looked back grin

JesusInTheCabbageVan Tue 14-May-13 12:23:01

EVERYTHING.

Snotty noses, screaming, feeding them junk food, extended bf-ing, co-sleeping, plastic tat, goo-goo baby talk, children butting in when adults are talking, dummies, sticking them in front of TV, many other things I do not wish to remember now.

DS has never had a dummy, purely because he refused. We spent the first three months forcing them on him in an effort to shut him up, so I think he's probably a bit phobic now.

LaQueen Tue 14-May-13 12:25:17

Agree with mistle - DD2 has naturally olive skin...she spends one afternoon in the garden, on a sunny April day - and looks like she's just got back from 2 weeks in Greece [shrugs]

DH is exactly the same. Soooooooo unbelivably tanned after the sunny Bank Holiday - 'Oh, have you just got back from somewhere exotic?' people ask... 'Er, no just 3 days in Kent' DH replies.

So unfair hmm

LemonsLimes Tue 14-May-13 12:39:20

Oh yes i don't like it when people pick their toddler up by one wrist.

DollyClothespeg Tue 14-May-13 12:41:11

A bowl of cereal in the car?! That'd be a tad messy. confused
Fling the brakes on too quickly and they'd have a lap full of milk....

sherbetpips Tue 14-May-13 12:46:01

The snot thing astounded me, especially when they were teething there were permanent candles of snot. I haven't changed my mind on the kids running round restaurants though - hate that still. Our local just banned kids after 7.30. So instead of having the balls to tell the parents of the tearaways to keep them at the table and risk losing there custom they instead ban a whole set of other customers. Joy.
I love listening to the idealistic new mums with there breastfeeding, wrap carrrying, baby led weaning, blah, blah, blah. I barely managed to get up every day for the first six months!

BlueberryHill Tue 14-May-13 12:51:05

I used to judge when parents hid vegetables in food, made faces out of pizzas to get children to eat. Mine would eat vegetables because I told them to do so and would only eat what we ate.

Oh the bliss of ignorance, fast forward a few years and I'm blending pasta sauces to get more vegetables in them.

I was judgey on loud parenting of a child on a train once, however, I think I still would be a bit judgey still on this. Sorry. However, really sympathetic on public tantrums or meltdowns.

Always have been judgey on swearing, smoking, unsafe driving near children / with them in the car.

Nicknamefail Tue 14-May-13 12:54:00

I used to think people were being precious when they timed arrival/departure astounds naps etc. fast forward to me becoming the mother of a baaaaad napper and I feel guilty for those thoughts.

Nicknamefail Tue 14-May-13 12:54:36

Around naps.

MidniteScribbler Tue 14-May-13 13:02:53

I used to hate the snot thing. Wipe their nose for goodness sake! Then DS started nursery and spent six months with a runny nose. Where the hell does it all come from???

I've never been a dummy fan for older children and hadn't even intended on letting DS have a dummy. A few sleepless nights and I begged him to take one. He decided that karma was more fun and completely refused any attempts at taking one.

I was only going to (reluctantly) breast feed for six months. I thought I was being a good mother to give him that long. It was fourteen months before I could convince him to give that up.

I'm still judgmental about kids running around in restaurants. That has never changed. And I still think letting kids have those little trolleys at the hardware shop is pure insanity.

Ahhhh it was so nice when I used to be a perfect parent before DS was born.

Fancydrawers Tue 14-May-13 13:03:14

I judge mothers who smoke while pregnant/when their child is in the pram. Disgusting. Nothing's that urgent, surely.

mcgilly Tue 14-May-13 13:39:39

This is such a (mostly) warm thread of people giving themselves, and others, a break.
Pre DC I judged almost everything ... Now almost anything goes and each to their own. But I loathe smoking and swearing.

PurplePidjin Tue 14-May-13 13:40:58

sherbertpips you'd hate me then blush although i take care not to preach

I judged a grown man on roller blades this morning. Then i realised he was carrying a child's scooter and it was just after school started and decided he was a genius grin

mcgilly Tue 14-May-13 13:41:41

Oh and surely a sandwich in the car can be quite a healthy breakfast? I struggle to eat early in the morning and so do a lot of kids. Cheerios and sultanas work too.

Manyofhorror3 Tue 14-May-13 13:51:56

I judged my sister "giving in" to my nephew. Cooking especially what hw liked, letting him wear loopy things like a pirate hat 24/7, cosleeping, al fresco wees etc.
Then God sent me a beautiful but ferocious tantrummer who prefers triangular food, has never slept in his own bed and insists on a dinosaur coat every day. blush

wickeddevil Tue 14-May-13 14:41:25

Oh dear I was going to be such a perfect Mummy.
My DCs would never have dummies / eat sweets, crisps or Macdonalds / play with guns or computer games and I would never ever use the TV as a babysitter.
Mmmmm
2 of my 3 DCs had dummies, our house is full of toys that I used to disapprove of and to my eternal shame the first letter of the alphabet they learned after their own initial was M. They can spot those Golden Arches like a bird of prey hones in on a small mammal.
Breakfast on the go is just good time management. And I love old jacks boat.

badbride Tue 14-May-13 14:54:36

I've always been flummoxed as to why some folk disapprove of dummies so much. A screaming baby makes a godawful nerve-shredding noise. Pop a dummy in its mouth and the godawful noise often stops. What's not to like?

Then again, I don't have DCs, so what could I possibly know?? smile

honeytea Tue 14-May-13 15:18:17

My child was never going to have a bit of plastic stopping them expressing their feelings. 4 days, that is how long we lasted before I caved in and used the dummy my knowing friend had given us.

Ds was never going to wear and slogan clothing or typically boy clothing (but now he is lucky to get clean clothing, unisex stripes or a blue babygrow saying daddy's little footballer it doesn't really matter)

I have found things to judge that I never knew existed before I became a mum. I have a friend who had a half our conversation with me about how worried she was about her baby's flat head, whilst she was talking to ne and drinking her coffee her 3 month old ds was drinking his bottle by himself in his pushchair.

I judged people with tantruming toddlers and fussy eaters. I mean, how hard could it be to train them properly? I had a dog and a psychology degree so knew exactly what I was doing.

DD1 still won't eat anything with green bits in it, whilst DD2 can silence a cafe with her screams.

On the other hand, I was going to stop breastfeeding at six months exactly and never feed to sleep. As for cosleeping, God forbid!

Ha ha ha ...

I like it that I was wrong on so much. It makes me a less insufferable person.

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