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to think sitting in a pub drinking on your own for 5 hours is an abnormal thing to do

(64 Posts)
aisoft Sun 12-May-13 20:44:01

Me and DP went shopping today and popped into Walkabout at about about 3:45 to get some food before going home. My little brother was in there drinking on his own and he had several empty pint glasses on his table. I asked him about this and he said he'd come down to watch the football at 1, he's a Spurs fan and his team were playing at 1:30 but then he was staying on to watch the next game which kicked off at 4, this means he would have been there nearly 5 hours drinking alone incessantly. I think this is very strange thing to do but DP thinks its no big deal as he's just relaxing on a Sunday and I'm being a nag and a busybody.

Thumbtack Sun 12-May-13 20:47:03

We run a pub and this is totally normal -- my bread and butter-- grin

nevergoogle Sun 12-May-13 20:47:39

but he would only have been on his own for half an hour before other fans turned up?

Thumbtack Sun 12-May-13 20:48:07

Whoops cross out fail blush

TWinklyLittleStar Sun 12-May-13 20:48:13

Not weird if there's sport.

bigTillyMint Sun 12-May-13 20:48:45

I don't think it's at all unusual. Loads of blokes do this on the weekend.

usualsuspect Sun 12-May-13 20:49:16

Lots of people like to watch football in a pub with other fans

Sounds normal to me.

kinkyfuckery Sun 12-May-13 20:50:21

Not weird at all. I've worked in many pubs over years and most of our best business is the male solo drinkers who stop in for a pint and stay for hours.

Thumbtack Sun 12-May-13 20:50:27

We get lads that turn up on their own, way before the match. Sometimes it's to get a good seat before the crowd, others just treat it like a social club..

redbunnyfruitcake Sun 12-May-13 20:52:27

I guess some people like the pub environment more than others so it's not really that strange. It may not be what you or I would like to do with our time but maybe he doesn't have any other interests. I would be worried if he was doing this most days or during all his spare time as drinking for 5 hours straight can't be good for anyone but if he is nursing 2 or 3 pints during this time while watching football it can't be that bad.

I'm guessing you feel sad that he doesn't have more of a life but like I said before maybe he is happy. Unless you notice obvious signs of a problem it may be best to let him be.

Totally normal. I'd bloody love it and I don't even like football much. How lovely to have a free afternoon and have a few pints.

I've sat in a tea shop all afternoon reading a book with the waitrose bringing me lunch, then tea and cake, then a fresh pot if tea.

It was bloody lovely. Best tenner ever spent.

Lj8893 Sun 12-May-13 20:52:34

When I was younger, single and a big socialite I would quite often go into a pub on my own and stay there on my own, but I would know full well I would see lots of people I knew or could chat to etc. even just the bar staff!

That's waitress not waitrose grin

aisoft Sun 12-May-13 20:54:49

It just seems so odd to me for a 19yo to sit in a pub alone for 5 hours whilst steaming through the pints. I get that he would go to watch his own team as he doesn't have sky in his shared house but to stay beyond that seems really weird.

OHforDUCKScake Sun 12-May-13 20:55:16

I was all ready to say it was odd until you said football was involved.

I think its probably quite common.

ShatnersBassoon Sun 12-May-13 20:55:59

Normal for loads of people. I'd love to have the freedom to do that some weekends.

SgtTJCalhoun Sun 12-May-13 20:56:51

It's not abnormal at all. I used to think that too when I was in my early twenties. Now I think it's more odd not to be able to be on your own, to have to have someone with you. I don't often go to the pub alone as I don't really like alcohol. I do eat out alone though and always go to the cinema alone. Prefer it in fact.

nevergoogle Sun 12-May-13 20:57:13

but there was two games to watch.

Bowlersarm Sun 12-May-13 21:00:12

Probably much nicer for him to sit amongst other fans and watch the footie than being home by himself drinking?

Thumbtack Sun 12-May-13 21:00:13

Maybe he fancies the lusty bar wench ?? Seriously though it does happen.

OrangeLily Sun 12-May-13 21:00:21

It's a lot more normal than you think. Having worked in pubs there are a lot of people who do this.

I will happily sit for a few hours in a pub alone as long as I have something to do. Normally reading a book but I have been known to plan things like essays too.

LynetteScavo England Sun 12-May-13 21:02:14

Yes, but I bet a few people he knew dropped in for him to chat to...like you for example.

Better than sitting home alone watching something you're not really interested in.

WafflyVersatile Sun 12-May-13 21:02:26

Normal, not necessarily health long-term. grin

Would it be odd if he stayed out of sight in his flat all sunday watching the football and drinking cans from the shop?

Scheherezade Sun 12-May-13 21:03:27

If it was the match this eve then it was a big big game in football history, definitely one any football fan will have wanted to watch.

squeakytoy Sun 12-May-13 21:04:59

I cant see anything unusual in it. He could have sat in his house, drinking a few cans, but he preferred to sit in the pub, where he might meet people to chat to...

ilovesooty Netherlands Sun 12-May-13 21:07:59

I do it myself when I'm on holiday. It doesn't seem abnormal to me.

ChippingInLovesSunshine Sun 12-May-13 21:14:36

Not abnormal or weird at all - perfectly normal for footy/rugby/cricket fans. He stayed to watch another match - what's the big deal?

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 12-May-13 21:16:06

If he hasn't got sky then it's the only place he can watch it really and logic follows pub= beer. Especially for football watching.

If none of his mates wanted to go with him why should he miss out?

Perfectly normal I would say.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 12-May-13 21:17:15

That was me last year during the Wimblefon final (except I had to leave one pub as I was propositioned by a drunk)

Dd was rehearsing for a show in a town an hour from home and I had 4 hours to kill. Managed to find a fairly decent place opposite the theatre.

I'm presuming the match he was going to watch at 4:00 was the Man U v Swansea one. Was quite a thing as I think it's Sir Alex Fergusons last match with the tea, ever.

My DH (also a spurs fan) watched it especially.

Plus what else should he be doing? Going home and watching some other crap on TV, if that's what he enjoys and isn't harming anyone leave him alone. Doesn't sound as if he was particularly drunk so can't see the harm.

aisoft Sun 12-May-13 21:49:07

I guess I'm in the minority here but it still seems really strange.

DragonMamma Sun 12-May-13 21:54:21

I work in a pub and it's very normal. I'd say more people come in alone and get chatting to other locals than actively go out in groups, where I work.

It wouldn't make me think twice.

XiCi Sun 12-May-13 22:03:51

You seriously think its strange for a guy to watch the footie in a pub? Seriously?

ColaConkie Sun 12-May-13 22:12:53

Totally normal.

Leeds2 Sun 12-May-13 22:31:23

I think it is normal too!

scaevola Sun 12-May-13 22:34:13

I think most of this is normal.

But the sitting by himself is a bit odd, as drinking alone, even in public, can be a concern. Or was he with one set of fans for game 1 and expecting to be with others for game 2?

squeakytoy Sun 12-May-13 22:36:10

"as drinking alone, even in public, can be a concern"

oh dear.. people had better be concerned about me, as I have no issue with going into a bar and drinking a couple of drinks on my own if I am in the mood to do so...

squeakytoy Sun 12-May-13 22:38:08

In fact, that is such a load of crap about how if you drink on your own you must have a drink problem ... hmm

My mum was a widow for 15 years before she died.. she enjoyed a glass or two of wine in the evening, when my Dad was alive.. should she have stopped that after his death in case people thought she had a drink problem?

I am sat here now with a glass of whiskey and coke.. I am on my own... should I sign up to AA..

elfycat Sun 12-May-13 22:45:36

I went to my local pub to get out the house to write an essay (less distractions). Drank a couple of pints real ale while doing so. It's a quiet place in the day and I'm getting to be a regular.

I go in for a pint when DH is away with work fairly often.

60sname Germany Mon 13-May-13 00:27:07

DP sometimes goes to watch a game on his own in our local - we have Sky but the flat is small and he thoughtfully doesn't want to hog the tv all day if there are back to back games. He likes the atmosphere and has a few pints, doesn't equate to a drink problem!

cory Mon 13-May-13 08:36:30

Drinking alone is only a problem if you need the presence of other people to restrain you from drinking too much. That will be true of some people. But not everybody is in that boat.

The same quantity of alcohol isn't suddenly going to become more dangerous because you consume it on your own.

And it is totally possible to become an alcoholic in company.

Morloth Mon 13-May-13 08:49:19

God, what I wouldn't give for 5 hours alone in a pub drinking...

SundaysGirl Mon 13-May-13 09:22:38

I still don't get WHY you thnk its strange? Because he was not with a specific group of people? Whats the difference in sitting with 3 mates and watching a game all afternoon with some pints and doing it 'alone' around those you don't actually know but sharing the atmosphere?

So long as he is not a problem drinker to your knowledge I'd say this is more about how you feel about socialising and spending time by yourself than about your brother.

Trill Mon 13-May-13 09:34:35

He wasn't on his own, he was there with all the other football fans.

He wasn't just drinking, he was watching football.

It's not as if he spent 5 hours sitting silently staring into space while drinking.

MadBusLady Mon 13-May-13 09:38:20

I'd do that and not even to watch the football. I'd probably stop at three pints and I'd have some food too, but then I'm not a 19yo strapping lad. I'd take books and newspapers and the kindle and have a chat to the bar staff or a random punter now and then. Bliss.

Obviously he can't drink that amount every day forever, but I assume he doesn't? Agree with what SundaysGirl said, this is maybe an introvert/extrovert thing.

bollockstoit Mon 13-May-13 09:54:25

I think it's "normal", and I know several men who do this, however they are fairly heavy drinkers. It can be normal and still not a particularly good idea.

It is normal in every pub that I go into regularly. In a way if a Match is on and you are a regular, you aren't really "on your own". He has spent the day watching sport whilst having a drink, I don't see the problem. I am not a big football fan, but I like to watch main games in the pub. I feel disappointed if I don't know anyone who wants to go out to watch the World Cup, I wish that women on their own in pubs were not thought of "as strange".

Thinking about it, if I had the choice of shopping for the day, or sitting in the pub, I would sit in the pub.

Thinking about it, if I had the choice of shopping for the day, or sitting in the pub, I would sit in the pub.

Lj8893 Mon 13-May-13 10:12:20

I don't think women on their own in pubs is thought of as strange, its certainly not strange where I live.

Flobbadobs Mon 13-May-13 10:15:10

Normal. I have been known to call in somewhere for a drink when on my own, a woman drinking alone isn't seen as anything weird round here!
He would have wanted to watch the football with likeminded people even if he didn't know them.

Morloth Mon 13-May-13 10:16:29

I have sat in pubs for hours with a book and a bottle of wine.

How is that any different?

Haven't got that kind of time now, but if I did, I would.

The only difference is the entertainment.

StuntGirl Mon 13-May-13 10:23:22

What? Personally I think it's weird that you think it's weird.

It isn't that women on their own is so much thought of as strange, its the constant chatting up that is the problem and men seeing you as fair game. It can be a problem, when I go out with one of my female friends we often go to gay clubs, to be out of that atmosphere. The smaller, more friendly pubs have closed that were "my locals".

Lj8893 Mon 13-May-13 11:16:50

Yeah on a night out in a pub women (lone or not) can get harrassed!

But just generally spending a quiet day in a pub like has been discussed, I don't think a lone woman is too likely to get constantly chatted up. I certainly haven't been unless I've been completely naive when I have sat in a pub on my own for an afternoon (or even quiet evening) I've just had friendly people talk to me (male and female, and either I or them have started the conversation)

Callycat Mon 13-May-13 13:11:45

From experiences within my family, I'd say the only people who are happy to sit drinking, alone, for hours on end are alcoholics.

Lj8893 Mon 13-May-13 14:12:16

Callycat, sorry you have found that to be your experience within your family.

However its really not the case.

Celticlassie Mon 13-May-13 14:35:41

Not weird at all - I've got lots of male friends (and my little brother) who do this regularly.

I think the whole idea that drinking alone suggests a problem is a very outdated one. I lived alone for a number of years - does this mean I should never have had a glass of wine with dinner, or while watching a film on a Saturday night?

IrritatingInfinity Mon 13-May-13 14:44:17

Fishing and bird watching can involve hours of 'sitting' not doing much. Neither do anything for me but I can see that it is nice to sit, relax and be lost in your thoughts.

Callycat Mon 13-May-13 19:50:06

Yeah, I was a bit rash. Sorry, I should not have implied that everyone who does this is an alcoholic.

'Tis a sore point with me. I'll shush now.

nevergoogle Mon 13-May-13 22:46:12

are you going to tell on him? grin

Crinkle77 Tue 14-May-13 12:38:46

Not that unusual unless he was doing it everyday. I know loads of fella's who go to the pub on their own and watch the footy.

harleyd Tue 14-May-13 12:44:50

perfectly normal
i wouldnt think twice about going to the bar by myself if nobody else wanted to go out

MidniteScribbler Tue 14-May-13 12:49:47

I don't think it's strange. When I travel I love nothing more than to find a nice bar/pub with outdoor tables, and sit and drink some local wine whilst watching the crowds go by, which I find interesting. You usually end up being invited to join a group, or end up chatting with people.

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