To ask what is normal regarding nudity and babies/smallchildren in the UK?

(162 Posts)
honeytea Sat 11-May-13 09:44:25

I am English but I live in my dp's home country (Sweden.)

We have a baby (4.5 months) it has been really lovely and hot the last couple of weeks so I have been taking ds down to the beach or to the park and letting him lie naked in the shade (on a few old towels to catch wee) this seems fairly normal here, I didn't even really think about it. The kids swim in the lakes and some are naked whilst swimming up to 5/6+ here.

I mentioned to a friend who lives in the USA how it was lovely for babyhoney to get fresh air on his bum and she said you would never do that in the USA, she said at baby groups the mums covered their babies genitals with a cloth so the other mums (and babies?)didn't see. At the baby massage group we go to all the babies are naked and I have never seen anyone trying to hide their babies genatals.

We are coming to the UK for a month in July and hopefully it will be warm. What is normal levals of baby nudity? I am from Devon so we will be having days on the beach as well as visiting parks.


mixedmamameansbusiness Sat 11-May-13 09:48:20

I think on a beach I would think at 4.5 months naked is fine.

Past about 3 I probably wouldn't do playing naked but would still change them on the beach without hiding them. DSs are 7,5 and 2. I expect 7 yr old would run behind a rock anyway.

wonderingsoul Sat 11-May-13 09:52:12

i dont think you did anything wrong.

for me, in the uk aswell. in the garden both boys could be naked for all i cared (4 ans 7 ) but in the park beach, id say i wouldnt let them run naked from 1 1/2.

but thats not just because of some werdio may be laying about. but also becasue who wants to play in the sand where a young one has wee'd init ( which can and does happen. ) theres just no need for it really, a pair of swim trunks covers their modesty and still allows them to be cool.

It is rarely warm enough to be an issue. hmm

That said, beach nudity seems to be unremarkable under school age, but I would be startled to see a naked small of any age at the park.

AuntieStella Sat 11-May-13 09:53:57

I think it doesn't matter.

But I never did it on a beach (discomfort of sand in creases, not and wider thoughts on nudity).

DeepRedBetty Sat 11-May-13 09:55:31

<trying to remember> I think I started to encourage dtds to wear swimming bottoms on the beach when they were around two, and they wanted costumes like the Big Girls from about 4.

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Sat 11-May-13 09:56:04

I think fine for a baby to be naked on the beach or in a park in the UK. I don't know what the upper age limit is really, I think I might get DS age 2.5 to wear swimming trunks this summer but only because it would now upset him if an older child laughed at him being naked.

DeepRedBetty Sat 11-May-13 09:57:01

And the swimming bottoms was more about sandy crevices than staring perverts. Although nothing can really stop sandy crevices and small children...

soapboxqueen Sat 11-May-13 09:58:37

It's personal preference. I know some people who are very uncomfortable about any nudity. My ds is almost 4 and he loves being naked.

munchkinmaster Sat 11-May-13 09:58:41

I'm saddened to hear of mothers covering up babies at massage class. I think that's really awful. Small babies look so cute naked and I think it's sad that we should begin to think of them any other way than just as babies.

LEMisdisappointed Sat 11-May-13 10:01:55

This reminds me of when i was on holiday with DD, she must have been about three at the time (maybe a bit older) we were on the beach on a day when we wasn't expecting it to be so hot, so no cossie - we just let her strip off and play in the rock pools, it was great. There was his woman making shock faces, her DD was a bit younger and in the end she said something to me. She said she didn't feel comfortable with her DD being naked - i told her not to be so ridiculous so she let her child go naked too and they had a great time. Nobody cared!! nobody stared.

DD is 7 now, i would think that she would feel uncomfortable herself to be naked on the beach, i wont fall over myself to cover her while changing because i dont want her to feel embarrased about her body, but she woudl have a cossie on, or at least pants.

HollyBerryBush Sat 11-May-13 10:04:26

It's a cultural thing isn't it?

Scandanavians are much more at ease with themselves, Americans >massive sterotype coming< are generally uptight people about such things.

It doesn't bother me, kids will cover themselves up when they become self aware. Nothing wrong with naked toddlers in the park or on the beach.

MrsWeasel Sat 11-May-13 10:07:02

Something else to bear in mind is that you are likely to be further south in the UK than you would be in Sweden so the sun will be much stronger - fine if you are lying a baby in the shade, not so much if they are wanting to crawl about in the sunshine.

We have a loose rule of T-shirts on unless actually playing in the water.

BerthaKitt Sat 11-May-13 10:07:34

My 16/17 month old ran naked round our local beach and a lakeside campsite last summer and I intend to let h

MrsWeasel Sat 11-May-13 10:08:10

if they are wanting to crawl about in the sunshine.

Assuming you see any sunshine when you are over grin

BerthaKitt Sat 11-May-13 10:08:11

Let him this year too if it's warm enough. This is in the UK.

BerthaKitt Sat 11-May-13 10:09:24

Naked except for sunblock and a sun hat, that is.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 11-May-13 10:11:31

I used to go to a baby singing class with DS1. At the end the leader would switch on a bubble machine, and a little girl who must have been two and a half would strip off and dance around naked every time. We just thought it was very funny and cute.

I stripped DS1 's trousers off in public a few weeks ago - wet himself at a theme park. Had to wrap his lower half in my scarf to get him back to the car. I got a few odd looks, but that could have been down to the screaming....

honeytea Sat 11-May-13 10:15:37

Thank you for the advice! I do hope it it warm enough for some outdoor fun, we will see smile

With the sun burning, is it safeto use sun block? ds will be7 months when we come. Also does shade prevent sun burn or do the uv rays reflect onto the baby?

The dancing toddler with the bubbles sounds so lovely. I do ds isthat uninhibited as a toddler.

AuntieStella Sat 11-May-13 10:16:52

Another factor is whether/where they are likely to pee or poo al fresco (and whether the poo is scoopable). In a young baby this could be anywhere, and there are places where it would be unpleasant for other users of the area.

MrsBertBibby Sat 11-May-13 10:18:01

I think most mums cover the genitals at things like baby massage class so they avoid pee-in-the-eye situations. It's nothing to do with hiding them!

WilsonFrickett Sat 11-May-13 10:21:49

I tend to agree with Auntie - a bit of tummy time on a towel is fine but if your baby is crawling by then a swim nappy would be considerate for other beach or park users. That's not about nudity, just that no one wants to step in someone else's wee!

EdgeOfSociety Sat 11-May-13 10:21:50

I must admit I don't like seeing young children running around naked. I accept it's my issue but still don't like it.

IrritatingInfinity Sat 11-May-13 10:22:19

Naked on beaches is perfectly ok and normal until 3ish and older. Girls do not need to wear tops until 5 or 6 ish. I don't think people care about a bit of nudity while changing etc.
We used to live in the US and we had a big community pool. Babies and toddlers were NOT allowed to be naked at any time and this rule was enforced. However, It was ok for women to wear throng bikinis and teeny tiny triangles covering their ridiculously enhanced boobs. confused I found it real weird and hypocritical. We lived in LA.

Jinty64 Sat 11-May-13 10:36:56

My ds3 (6) merrily changes himself at the pool without covering up and he likes to go naked in the house. We live in the Scottish Highlands so need wetsuits (at very least) on the beach.

We have a local park with a paddling pool but I wouldn't let him go naked there I would leave his boxers on if I didn't have trunks. I wouldn't cover him up whilst changing though.

What you describe doing in Sweden would be pretty normal in the UK (although you are less likely to see nudity up to 5 or 6. There's a water play area near us and I'd say you often see naked toddlers there up to 2 or 3 but not much older). While I don't want to overgeneralise about the U.S. the American mothers I know personally are certainly far more hung up on nudity and "modesty" and I suspect your friend's attitude is fairly common there.

FarBetterNow Sat 11-May-13 10:44:52

I do remember seeing a nude little girl playing in the rock pools and being worried about her slipping, landing on her bum and getting her 'bits' grazed by the rough rocks.
Luckily she was fine!

DewDr0p Sat 11-May-13 10:52:29

I've always tended to cover mine up in UV suits as they are very fair (redheaded) and hate having suncream applied. But we're not at all worried about nudity and they all happily strip off on the beach to change, dc1 is nearly 9 and it's only very recently that he's been remotely worried about that.

Wouldn't bat an eyelid at a 2-3 yo running round naked. I guess by 6ish I might expect them to be a little more covered up. Agree with comments about nappies on babies too!

mikkii Sat 11-May-13 10:56:54

In the garden, my DCs can wear swimmies, pants or go naked. In fact last week the 2 yo started off with shorts on, but stripped off after she spilt her drink.

My older ones (8 and 6) would prefer pants on the beach if no costumes available, but would then happily go home commando (pants free). They will strip off to change and aren't worried about covering up.

My DD1 (6) will wear bikini bottoms on holiday without the top, but at the swimming pool (indoor) I would give her a one piece or tankini.

Gubbins Sat 11-May-13 11:49:02

"cover the modesty" of an 18 month old? "girls don't need to cover their tops until they're 5 or 6"?


My daughters had a fantastic time naked on a busy bank holiday beach when they were about 3 and 5. I didn't notice any cats bums, but then I was too busy watching them enjoy themselves. Eldest is now 8, nearly 9, and does now prefer to keep her bottom covered in public, but will happily run about in her pants on a beach or at the waterpark. The nearly seven year old is still happily naked anywhere.

There are some girls in her ballet class who take themselves off to the loo in private to get changed, which I think is quite sad. Children of that age don't become self concious without external influence.

exoticfruits Sat 11-May-13 11:55:25

It would appear from MN, in the summer, that there are two distinct opinions. I would go with personal preference.

sparkle12mar08 Sat 11-May-13 11:56:11

I wouldn't expect to see any child, that can walk independently, completely naked in a public place. I don't want to see anybody's private parts floating on the breeze thank you very much, regardless of age. Put some bloody pants on for god's sake!

exoticfruits Sat 11-May-13 11:58:46

That is the problem OP -lots of us are not worried two hoots about naked, small children in public places-I think it sad that you would. Therefore do whatever you think-you will be wrong whatever you do! When the DC is old enough to be bothered they cover up-simple.

I wouldn't cover DS if he didn't want to be, he's 19 months.

I think it's pretty sad when people get het up about babies not having clothes on.

Branleuse Sat 11-May-13 12:05:11

my ds2 and dd were naked on the beach last summer at 4 and 5. If they want to do the same this summer I wont see a problem. I always put swimclothes on them but ds2 in particular always removes his given half a chance. Ds1 still tried to at about age 10 but I told him he was too old.

Chocoflump Sat 11-May-13 12:06:29

Ok I'm clearly in the minority here.

Baby lying in the shade- I don't see a problem being naked, letting the fresh air around its bum.

However once a child is walking around I really don't see any need to be naked. Why not wear swimming pants/trunks? Surely if its hot just wearing a pair of pants won't make them overheat confusedconfusedconfused

And I would be really shocked to see a 7 year old or older running around naked in a public place.

Gubbins Sat 11-May-13 12:09:59

My daughter was walking independently at 9 months. It wouldnt have ever crossed my mind in a million years that someone might get upset about seeing a 9 month old's bum and crotch.

Branleuse Sat 11-May-13 12:10:02

what difference does it make though. Its only kids.

Primrose123 Sat 11-May-13 12:10:40

Americans are very shy about naked babies. Years ago when DD was a toddler we went to a water park in Florida. DD wore a swim nappy, and as I was changing and dressing her, she toddled naked around my chair for about 2 minutes. One of the staff came up and asked me to cover her up!

Jan49 Sat 11-May-13 12:12:42

I think children should be wearing pants or a nappy at least. I'd be worried about sun protection if they're outdoors, getting sand in crevices or getting hurt or doing a poo or wee when naked. You wouldn't let your toddler run around naked on a beach in November, so it's likely to be Spring/Summer and they need to be covered up in the sun with a t-shirt and shorts. I wouldn't allow a child to be outdoors with their top half bare, even if they're going in the sea. OP, aren't there problems with babies weeing and pooing at the baby massage group?

Apart from all the above, I just don't really want to see someone else's naked child unless it's for changing a nappy or changing clothing or in the bath.

"Apart from all the above, I just don't really want to see someone else's naked child unless it's for changing a nappy or changing clothing or in the bath."

We're talking about a baby though, surely a naked baby isn't offensive.

exoticfruits Sat 11-May-13 12:17:00

I am quite happy to see someone's naked child-why ever not?

Answers with pan out at 50/50, so do whatever you like.

Gubbins Sat 11-May-13 12:17:45

I really don't understand, Chocoflump. I can understand why people might want to keep their own children covered up (although wouldn't necessarily agree with them); but what is it that you find shocking about a pre-pubertal child being naked. And for those who set an age limit, what is the difference between a three year old's bum and a six year old's? Or a 7 year old girl's chest and a 4 year old's ( or, indeed a seven year old boy's)?

exoticfruits Sat 11-May-13 12:17:46

I can't think of much that we need to copy from the Americans!

EauRouge Sat 11-May-13 12:18:09

Covering up a baby's genitals at a baby massage class?! shock That's a really fucked up, unhealthy attitude, how sad sad

i would happily let my DDs run around in the buff on the beach, they are 4.7yo and 2yo.

exoticfruits Sat 11-May-13 12:18:25

I tended to keep mine covered up-but only because they are fair skinned.

LEMisdisappointed Sat 11-May-13 12:18:56

Jan49 you are very odd!! You just don't really want to see someone else's nake child?? hmm Really???

A nappy or pants are not going to stop sand in bits

There is an issue with sun but thats what sunscreen is for - ouchie at the thought of a burnt willy though, its about common sense isn't it - a short frolick in the sea is fine, hours naked with no sun protection, not fine.

The only thing that would worry me would be whether they are likely to poo! At 7 months I knew when this was likely to happen for DS so if it wasn't that time then it would depend on the area. I am very scared of sunburn having suffered with severe burns a lot if my life and that's the only other thing I would cover DS up for at that age.

Oldraver Sat 11-May-13 12:19:53

I would say until the child felt they wanted to cover up. DS is 7 and has now started to want to cover up.

I realise here in the UK that would be frowned upon

Nagoo Sat 11-May-13 12:19:58

I put mine in a swim nappy because of the wee/poo factor. No one wants to be treading in that do they?

DS was potty trained by 2 and I was a bit shocked when someone asked me to put clothes on him at a beach. He was 2 FFS.

SneakyNuts Sat 11-May-13 12:20:51

People take offence at babies being naked on a beach?! shock hmm

Nagoo I would have politely told them where to go!

Smellslikecatspee Sat 11-May-13 12:23:01

The only thing that would concern me at seeing a little one naked would be skin protection. Even in this country our arms legs etc still get more exposure than bottoms and bits. So they're going to be more vulnerable.

Modesty should be about personal comfort rather than shame if you know what I mean.

As my DNs are fair skinned they would run around with only a light tshirt and sun cream on till they were 6 or 7.

exoticfruits Sat 11-May-13 12:24:25

You would get a similar split if you asked who was happy for their DCs to see them nude-some are some are not.

Viviennemary Sat 11-May-13 12:26:20

In the UK nobody would bat an eyelind at a naked baby on the beach. But I heard parts of the USA are a bit cover up even tinies. I think the only risk would be sunburn.

5madthings Sat 11-May-13 12:27:44

Mine have gone naked on the beach as babies/toddlers and they get changed into trunks on the beach now, ds1 covers up as does ds2 now but they are 13 and 10. The yoinger ones will get changed and not cover themselves whilst doing so.iyswim. The 5 yr old would be happy naked and plays naked in the paddling pool in the garden.

Dd is two and would be naked ont the beach. She has swimming nappies but i wont be covering her top half until she needs to developmentally or she wants to.

Obviouslu sunscredn and covered up if sun is an issue but not for modesty reasons.

Florabeebaby Sat 11-May-13 12:31:48

Totally off topic but I am Finnish and your post made me so homesick! I live in the UK and miss miss miss the lovely feeling of a warm spring day after months of snow and cold...

I have been wondering the same though, as a Scandinavian I am used to kids (and even myself though not in public, in the privacy of my own home) running around naked or half-dressed. My DD is 2.5 so I will still let her roam free this summer but maybe think about covering up next year...DS is 7m, not worried about him just yet.

SparkyDudess Sat 11-May-13 12:35:58

DS loved being naked and would strip off at the drop of a hat. He became less comfortable doing that in public when he started school but was still inclined to get naked at home, or in the garden.

I actually think one of the most gorgeous things I've ever seen was my then 4 year old DS and goddaughter messing about in my garden wearing nothing but crocs and sun hats. They were so innocent, and happy, and so very perfectly made they were a joy to watch.

"I actually think one of the most gorgeous things I've ever seen was my then 4 year old DS and goddaughter messing about in my garden wearing nothing but crocs and sun hats. They were so innocent, and happy, and so very perfectly made they were a joy to watch."

^^ That. It just reminds me how lovely and innocent they are.

specialsubject Sat 11-May-13 12:50:52

naked until they want to cover up, or about school age I would think.

UV, like all radiation, reflects from surfaces. If you are at the beach you will get a lot more from the water. Strongest UV on June 21st so plenty of suncream/cover up in July, or get burnt. Temperature irrelevant, only that people get less burnt when it is cooler because they wear more clothes.

Gubbins Sat 11-May-13 12:52:39

Florabee (and OP), please don't let yourself be influenced by what other people might think. If you are comfortable with your child being naked and your children are happy, then don't start them on the road to body-consciousness. It's not something you could ever get back. I have never been aware of any disaproval of my naked children. I'm now aware that there may well have been some, but, tbh, who gives a shit. It says more about them than me or my kids.

sparkle12mar08 Sat 11-May-13 12:54:21

I don't find it offensive as such. It wouldn't make me move away and I certainly wouldn't be casting the evils at the parents! And it's not about 'paedos on every corner' either. Even sun burn/cream is a minor issue. I just don't want to see wrinkly willies and other bits bouncing around. It's not nice to look at, hardly aesthetically pleasing, if you will. My boys run around naked at home in the garden in summer, I sleep naked for the most part, so it's not about prudishness either. I don't know, I just don't like seeing it and would prefer not to have too, that's all.

lljkk Sat 11-May-13 13:12:52

See a lot of nuddy preschoolers here on the beach (UK).

I remind y'all that USA is a huge country & while I wouldn't expect to see many nude preschoolers on beach, nuddy at massage class wouldn't be strange at massage class in California.

There are some lovely photos from my third birthday party where it is obvious that no child is wearing more than possibly underpants (censoring table). 1980s. And I bet not a smear of sun cream between us.

catgirl1976 Sat 11-May-13 13:26:41

Agree with the poster who said it is rarely warm enough sad

Nudity doesn't bother me at all.

That said, it is rare to see school age children naked on a beach. Little children, I don't think anyone bats an eyelid

I have never seen naked children in the park. It wouldn't bother me if I did but it isn't something I have seen. That said, I have to refer you back to our weather.

Personally I would let DS go nekkid in the paddling pool, on the beach or in the park if he wanted to and it was warm enough. He's too little to have an opinion as yet and it's like bloody Winterfell up here so he would be hardy in the extreme to want to sad

Kungfutea Sat 11-May-13 13:29:06

In my experience on the east coast of the us, Americans are totally uptight about child nudity. The British a bit less so but still more than most European and Mediterranean countries

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 11-May-13 13:32:11

I struggled to keep clothes on my DD till she was 5 years old. Even now when she is 9 she rarely wears clothes in the house. I never saw any cats bum faces.
I suspect I will have a naked one for quite a while longer.

EdgeOfSociety Sat 11-May-13 14:24:17

I felt uncomfortable about being naked in front of people from an early age. Just did. I now feel uncomfortable seeing naked children as I find it embarrassing. People can shout all they want, but it's how I feel. I'm not rude, I don't pull faces or say "cover them up" but I wish they would. I also wouldn't have my own children naked outside although getting changed is fine.

Kubalai Sat 11-May-13 15:26:38

My 1 and 3 year olds are v happy naked, and strip off with v little provocation. It wouldn't occur to me that others may have an issue with it tbh. I'm quite surprised by how many do - not going to change things for me though.

Flora going to Finland a few years sgo was a big eye opener for me! Everyone was so relaxed with nudity at swimming pools etc, it seemed better for children's body image etc.

thegreylady Sat 11-May-13 15:32:03

Up to 3ish nudity anwhere-no problem.At home any age is fine.In public I'd probably use pants after age 3 unless it was a quiet beach when nudity would be fine till 6/7.

meditrina Sat 11-May-13 15:35:49

Little children - fine.

Tinies who are too young to be potty-trained, not fine. I'd be just as annoyed by an incontinent dog in an area where children are playing.

crashdoll Sat 11-May-13 15:49:57

I've seen lots of offensive things on the beach in the park but never been offended by a child's naked body. If it's hot, I would worry they'd burn their bottoms but otherwise, not bat an eye lid.

Jan49 Sat 11-May-13 16:28:40

The only time I've seen naked children on a beach is on a nice summer's day and I feel annoyed with their parents for not protecting their child adequately from the sun.

Summerblaze Sat 11-May-13 16:54:43

I got told off at disneyworld florida for having DS2 with no clothes on. He was 5 months and had a nappy on. It was so hot so we took his clothes off.

Here I wouldn't mind at all on the beach. They get to a point anyway where they don't want to. DD is 9 now and wouldn't do it (and likes us to hold a towel up when she gets changed. DS1 is 5 and would run around naked if he didn't have shorts with him. Would get changed without any fuss too. I have never done it in a park but might if there was a water part and we had no shorts with us.

Summerblaze Sat 11-May-13 16:56:32

And yes, I wouldn't have DS2 with no nappy on. That wouldn't be nice for others. They would have to be potty trained. However, how the OP describes with laying on towels. That would be fine.

Summer That might just have been because it was so hot though.

Smudging Sat 11-May-13 17:11:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 11-May-13 17:11:59

Well last summer youngest ds would have been about 5 months old it was a really nice day so I sat in the garden with ds sat on a towel he was naked.

Within 30 mins of me going back inside I got a hysterical phone call from ds's dad yelling about how disgusting and inappropriate it is for children to be naked outside I gently told him that the problem was with him not with the situation and not to be so daft.

There is nothing wrong with naked babies at all and its such a normal thing I wouldn't even notice if one was right I front of me.

MrsWinklepicker Sat 11-May-13 17:21:03

DD1,who is 5, always strips off in the shower after her swimming lesson but she is in the minority.
I can understand why people feel uncomfortable about it in public as I used to myself but now I love watching my 2 DDs running around in the altogether as they so obviously love it too!

missuswife Sat 11-May-13 17:21:41

I'm American and we went nude at the beach, pool and in the garden until about 3 years old. Naked in our own garden and pool until we started kindergarten, age 5. No one tutted at us except one parent who wouldn't let her daughter come over to play in our pool unless we wore swimming costumes. Of course, this was about thirty years ago. Also grew up in SF Bay Area, not exactly the most uptight part of the country wink

I'd let my kids do the same. Naked in the sea and pool until school age. Naked in the outdoors til about 3 I think. They're children, and shouldn't feel ashamed.

EdgeOfSociety Sat 11-May-13 17:25:18

I'm not ashamed of being naked. I am not offended by bare bums or boobs, but when children run around naked (I'm specifying children because adults don't tend to run round naked grin) it does make me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I don't live by the sea so don't go to the beach a great deal, but when I do, I do feel embarrassed by naked children - I feel embarrassed for them, in a way. If someone took my child out and stripped them off I wouldn't be happy about it, I have to say!

missuswife Sat 11-May-13 17:27:05

lljkk yes exactly. The US is huge. Have just moved to Wisconsin having grown up in CA and it's like a different country. Landscape, food, architecture, people--everything is different.

I live in California and have to say that the only naked babies (that aren't currently being changed) here are foreign visitors on the most part. Mine were always well covered to protect their delicate skin, we had sun suits/wet suits that fit high on the neck and to the knee and elbow and a broad brimmed sun hat. That way I only needed to do a little sunscreen.

MegBusset Sat 11-May-13 17:35:04

Mine are 4 and 6 and both went naked on the beach last year (impromptu visit without swimming trunks), I don't have any issue with it from a decency POV, although as they are both very fair I don't let them go uncovered for too long because they would burn.

5madthings Sat 11-May-13 17:37:37

Mine were naked last summer in the garden when megs kids visited and we had the paddling pool out, I couldn't be them to keep clothes on... None of the kids seemed bothered!

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sat 11-May-13 17:53:50

On the rare occasion that we have "hot" weather (West Coast of Scotland here) my two would be in swimming costumes/trunks and a light t-shirt.

I wouldn't want them naked on the beach in public. Have no problem with nudity in the house and we will all happily jump into the bath together so they see both DH and I in the buff all the time. I'm ashamed to admit I'm a bit hung up on public nudity and yes I do worry about other people seeing my kids naked (Am ready to be flamed for that comment...) TBH if I saw kids their age (5 and 2) naked on the beach I would probably just be jealous that their mother wasn't so fucking paranoid like me. I know I have issues !

pigletmania Sat 11-May-13 18:10:39

Babies fine, IMHO anything over 5 covered up

pigletmania Sat 11-May-13 18:11:45

In a public place

DottyboutDots Sat 11-May-13 19:27:51

I went on holiday to Bohemia in the Czech republic a couple of years ago. It was hot and I was taking my two oldest for a paddle in a manmade lake in the middle of a forest. It's a very popular area for cyclists and every now and then a bunch would come up and cool off with a swim. After about half an hour I realised they were all stripping NAKED first. It initially shocked me but after 5 minutes or so I gave myself a stern talking to and enjoyed how unabashed everyone was and i settled in for an hour of sunny voyeurism.

unlucky83 Sat 11-May-13 20:13:02

Happy memories of my DD2 (aka 'nudey rudey girl') loving being naked...
At 3 we took her to the beach and she had stripped off and was naked running down the beach as soon as we hit the sand! (grabbed her later and put a swimming costume on her) ...but she still often stripped off - and DD1 at 8 in her pants in the sea (just think you go to some countries and the women are topless -why is it so bad for a child??? Only time I have been shocked was in Eygpt at Sharm - I saw two women topless in G strings walking down the beach -but that was seeing as it is a Muslim country and IIRC it is illegal to go topless....)
Last summer (5) she was in the paddling pol at the house we are renovating (garden is a jungle so v. private) and she was running all around it naked -biggest worry I had was nettles!
But sad just recently she has taken to hiding getting changed for ballet ..don't know why -she doesn't want anyone to see her pants! Maybe cos of DD1 - 12, hitting puberty and does cover up in public -but she still dances around in the house naked - and Dp and I walk around naked at home...

janey223 Sat 11-May-13 20:25:49

DS always has long sleeved tops and shorts on as he's fair skinned, I'd never have thought about letting him run around naked to be honest. i would put a nappy on him though, not because of modesty but so he doesn't pee on anyone!

Kundry Sat 11-May-13 20:28:33

In much of Europe - definitely Scandinavia, Germany and Austria - our attitudes to nudity would be seen as v odd.

There it is much more a 'the human body is a natural thing - why would you be uncomfortable?' attitude. So in spas in Germany there will be mixed sex nude bathing, on German and Danish beaches nudity is very common, Danish women expect to be able to sunbathe topless in the park and not be perved at...

It's a really healthy attitude. I find it depressing that we should all be going around paranoid.

Summerblaze Sat 11-May-13 20:33:42

They wouldn't take pictures of him with mickey mouse either even with me in the pic obviously giving consent and at the time we were sat in the shade. It wasn't summer either. We went mid Oct. I definitely think it was the nudity by the way she said it.

Jan49 Sat 11-May-13 20:56:28

I don't understand the people who say they let their kids go naked outdoors and on beaches. Do you not think the advice about covering your children up in the sun to keep them safe applies to your kids?confused

catgirl1976 Sat 11-May-13 20:57:49

You can put suncream on them Jan

Haberdashery Sat 11-May-13 20:57:49

Do you think all kids are pale-skinned?

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 11-May-13 21:03:11

Becoming "modest" is not learned really Gubbins. My ds, 7, is very worried that someone might see his bum, and wouldn't have been nekkid in public from 4 or so onwards.
This is not due to me, it's just him.
My family was very "let it all hang out" and I found a pic in a family album of my sis, aged about 9, swimming naked in a river.
I say, let them be naked until they don't want to anymore. It's lovely to be able to be naked in the sun.

blondefriend Sat 11-May-13 21:56:50

My dd will get naked at the drop of a hat. I have a lovely series of photos from last year (when she was 3) of me chasing her around Swanage beach with a bottle of sunblock. We weren't expecting the beautiful weather and didn't bring swimming costumes. I took of her trousers so that she could paddle (but left on her t-shirt and knickers) but 5 minutes later she was starkers. She had a wonderful time and, despite being very fair skinned, didn't get burnt as I literally slathered her in spf50. I am dreading the day she is too worried to go naked - it is the first step towards losing that childhood innocence.

iliketea Sat 11-May-13 22:12:01

I wouldn't ler DD run around naked on the beach because
1) she has even more sun sensitive skin than me and a sunburned bottom would be a bad thing (she even wears a uv suit for running around the garden in the summer)
2) I hate the beach and where sand ends up.

So I'm not horrified by naked children running around in the warm, but I do worry about sun damage - not sun block is particularly kind to genitals.

chandellina Sat 11-May-13 22:12:10

I think nudity is fine until the child is uncomfortable. I grew up in the US and never wore a top on the beach until maybe 6 or 7. Last week I saw a boy of about five with no bottoms in a paddling river in Kent. No one seemed particularly bothered, the place was teeming with half nudity (it was cold.)

greeneyed Sat 11-May-13 22:39:38

Gosh interesting thread - my ds will be just 4 when we go on holiday (UK) it would not cross my mind that people might disapprove of him being naked. I always though naked kids playing was very sweet

Yodeleeiay Sat 11-May-13 22:45:43

I think it's lovely and natural, the attitude the Scandinavians/Germans have to their bodies that you describe Kundry. I live in Germany and they seem to like letting children be children and keep that innocence as long as possible.

There are lots of sandy river beaches shaded by big trees near us and people of all ages and sizes go topless in the summer and lots of kids go naked. I use suncream on my DC but others don't seem to much. Toddlers wee in the river and I guess you would just scoop a poo up and bag it if it went in the sand (people here are only just getting the hang of scooping dog poos up which I find much more anti-social). I use UV suits when the sun is direct but find the sand gets more stuck in the crevices and rubs DC's poor skin like sandpaper, whereas when naked it washes/ rubs off as they play.

Swimming naked outdoors is a delicious feeling, you feel part of nature in a very immediate way and I think it's great when children can experience it. It's been decades since I have but I still remember it vividly.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Sat 11-May-13 22:59:28

Nudity in children doesn't bother me - however nudity in a park always startles and upsets me -

Both DH and I work in jobs where reality of life slaps in the face every day -

If only people knew how many paedophiles sit in vans at parks / skirt around perimeters of parks with recording equipment they would be horrified and never let their kids go naked in the park or potty train them in the park as iv seen a few do.

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 07:29:15

Oh God Nanny....that is exactly the type of thing I was thinking but didn't want to say for fear of being slated.....

greeneyed Sun 12-May-13 07:38:56

nanny that's very sad.

seeker Sun 12-May-13 07:44:26

My child will suffer significantly more harm if I make her feel uncomfortable about her body and train her to be suspicious of other people than she will if some creep looks at her while she plays naked in the sun. Don't let the bad guys dictate your behaviour.

I took DD to baby swimming classes when she was about 9mo. I bought her a little swimming costume because it was adorable blush but quickly discovered that peeling a wet costume off a tired baby is almost guaranteed to lead to screaming. I gave up after the second session and just took her in in a swim nappy and noone blinked. I wouldn't have let her be by the pool totally naked because of the wee/poo issue, but in terms of modesty I don't think it matters at all.

seeker Sun 12-May-13 07:47:46

And somebody always comes up with the "oh, if only you knew how many pedophiles with recording devices there are gathered round every public park".

I don't believe that. If these people are known about, then presumably the police would be doing something about it?

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 07:59:04

Seeker, I take your comments on board (and I'm trying my hardest not to pass my paranoia and fears onto my kids - honest !) but given that NannyPlum said she works in a field where she has seen evidence of this doesn't that concern you in the slightest ?

If someone came on here and said they were a police officer or similar and they hadn't seen anything to suggest that paedophiles could be recording in areas where children play then there would be plenty saying "yes just as we thought....mothers being paranoid".

I get what you're saying about not letting anyone dictate your child's behaviour or having to limit their experiences because of others. Wish I could be a bit more like you to be honest.

ilovexmastime Sun 12-May-13 08:03:48

My DSs went naked on the beach for as long as they were happy to do so.

I used to slap on the factor 30 and they never burnt.

I agree with Seeker about the paedophile threat.

claraschu Sun 12-May-13 08:09:53

Just let them go naked as long as they want. It is such a nice feeling not to be embarrassed by your body, and children should take advantage of that while they can.

As far as US vs Swedish attitudes, we can all guess which country will have a better record when it comes to sex offences (I haven't actually checked).

Summerblaze Sun 12-May-13 08:12:37

Peadophiles cannot hurt my child by looking at them.

ginmakesitallok Sun 12-May-13 08:29:20

Dd2 loves being naked, on holiday last year singletons she wore a swimsuit, sometimes a swim nappy and sometimes nothing. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Dd1 is 9 and has always preferred to be covered up.

ginmakesitallok Sun 12-May-13 08:30:50

Oh and agree with Summer blaze. It's very sad that we have to stop doing something so natural just because a very small minority get a sexual kick out of it.

FuckThisShit Sun 12-May-13 08:36:57

Meh. DD3 would happily charge around in her nothings at the beach,and she does. She's 4. In Spain the kids will perhaps put trunks or bikini bums on from around 5/6, but certainly not all. Their bodies when wearing bums are identical until 11 or so, and I really can't see the problem people have.

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 08:37:56

Summer Yes I understand that....also admit that it's completely "my issue" but cannot get over the fact that I would be freaked out at the thought of a paedophile getting any kind of gratification from even just seeing my child naked.

seeker Sun 12-May-13 08:41:24

Well, of course you would! It's a hideous thought.

But frankly, and at a risk of being shot down in flames, I can't imagine anyone who actually does work in child protection saying something on a public forum about "ooh, if only you knew that public parks are surrounded by perves in white transit vans with recording equipment......". Generally speaking, such people are more responsible than that.

forevergreek Sun 12-May-13 08:43:30

On beach I tend to add something just so the sand doesn't get everywhere when they sit down! But in gardens/ parks etc if it's nice and they want to play in water etc then I let them.

Last summer half of Hyde park was full of naked little ones by the water areas

Inside all year around both adults and children here don't hide from nudity. And bbqs with family/ friends usually end up with the children in various stages of undress in a paddling pool/ playing with sprinklers. Who will then all jump in the bath together before pajamas in eve

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 08:44:32

I'm with Seeker, too. Firstly, if a known paedophile is known to be recording images/videos in parks, then I would expect the police to be acting. But I fully accept that there may be people around, perhaps unknown to the police, who get their jollies watching naked kids doing what kids do. They probably get equally excited by a kid in a swimming costume though, so what should we do? Dress our children in burquas or never let them out of doors? My children are not hurt by being watched, so I'm going to let them get on with having fun, and try to keep them unaware for as long as possible that nudity is anything to be fearful or embarrassed about.

forevergreek Sun 12-May-13 08:46:56

Yes there may be horrid people anywhere, but you can't spend you life hiding. If I needed to change babies nappy in park I wouldn't want to feel I have to hide behind a bush and cover them with a cloth!

DottyboutDots Sun 12-May-13 08:48:18

Seeker and Gubbins, I agree with you both. It's like the what women wear argument in rape victims, the problem is with the perpertrator. Frankly, if you know that people are recording etc why don't you bloody catch them at it. It will not dictate whether my small child runs around naked.

exoticfruits Sun 12-May-13 08:50:22

I don't understand the fuss about paedophiles - do people not understand you can do anything with a photo those days? They can take a photo of your fully clothed DC and put the head on a naked body. It isn't worth worrying about- your DC is with you and safe.

unlucky83 Sun 12-May-13 09:28:09

I don't like the thought of someone getting a kick out of my naked child...but then as long as child doesn't know it isn't doing them any harm...and making them scared and embarrassed etc is ...
I'm with seeker, summerblaze etc ....just let them have fun and enjoy life ...whilst they are still not self conscious enough to bother...
In my late teens there was a concert in a park and lots of people went to listen outside the arena. No loos, so lots of girls were going for a pee in the bushes I looked for a spot I saw a bloke crouched down -I thought yuck he's having a poo -that is gross...(but apologised to him blush) ... then I couldn't find anywhere better so went to pee in the spot were my friend had been, looked behind me and saw the same bloke ...realised he was wanking...I was horrified, left quickly but said nothing to him - or my friend thinking (and still do) it was better for her that she didn't know....
(older, wiser I would have reported him to the police...just hope the fact that he knew I'd seen him made him stop...or someone else more on the ball -less drunk- saw him and reported the sad, sick pervert)

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 09:40:26

But I am afraid that they do, seeker. I remember reading an 'interview' with Robert Black, who murdered at least four girls in the 1980s, who stated he would go to beaches and parks on hot days with the sole intention of hoping to see a child getting changed, or naked.

I have seen this attitude on here before and it does mystify me. Of course it harms children to have adults leering over their body. My parents used to strip me off and set me loose and I daresay I enjoyed it at the time but I feel quite sick, looking back, to be honest. There is one picture of me aged about 3, completely naked, on some beach, and I can see people in the background just STARING. I don't even think it was with sexual gratification, just disapproval, but I hate the fact I was the subject of that when I wasn't old enough to make up my own mind.

You can have fun and enjoy life in so many ways, all of them with a pair of pants on!

lljkk Sun 12-May-13 09:49:09

It goes back to the view that paedos are utterly un-reformable, they cannot be rehabilitated, are incapable of any self-control and will always be a huge risk to any and every child (or so goes the popular view). That they are impossible to spot and lurking everywhere, to boot. ( Not people in your own family, of course, they're safe. confused )

So an ex-thief may view a beautiful jewel and not plan to steal it.
An ex-burglar can look at a house & not plot to burgle it.
An convicted murderer can encounter all sorts of people & have no desire to kill them.

But anyone who ever touched a child [defined as below arbitrary age of consent] is constantly obsessed with trying to do it again, and the sight of your child especially their bare skin, will send this person into a single-minded extremely cunning & clever obsession to target your child at the soonest opportunity.

Or so the hysteria goes.

I wonder if anyone has advocated blinding for all convicted paedophiles, so at least they would have rather more limited ability to physically locate possible victims. Cut off their hands, too, that should sort 'em.

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 09:54:07

I'm really sorry that you feel that way, Edgeofsociety, but I don't feel the same way at all. There are plenty of photos of me and my siblings naked as children, and all I feel is sad for the body conscious teenager and adult I became. Possibly I was leered at, if I was I didn't know about it, and if I was it's had no impact on me at all.

unlucky83 Sun 12-May-13 10:00:59

Edge - I suspect the people in the background are jealous wishing they could be running around naked too -or thinking how lovely -it is your perception that makes you think they are staring disapprovingly!
(Saw a 4 yo running round a local shop - I (as a parent) thought the mother should have stopped the child - slightly older woman (who I thought was looking disapprovingly at child too) said to me -'don't you wish you had that kind of energy' )
How can it harm a child who doesn't know any worries you now -as an adult- that a paedophile may have seen you naked as a child?
A paedophile may have got the same kicks out of seeing you in your pants...or swimming costume ...or if your towel slipped down whilst getting changed -or in your only hurts you if you think about it like that...

honeytea Sun 12-May-13 10:01:02

Just popping back in, it's been a busy weekend, sorry it has taken me so long to come back!

Thanks for all the advice! It is great to know I won't be the only one with a baby with no clothes on.

The attitude to nudity in Sweden is very relaxed, I am a little shocked by it sometimes (I don't think it is bad I am just supprised) my BIL was showing me the summer holiday photos the other week, my nephews (who are close to me in age, they are mid 20s I am late 20s) were all fully naked standing around in the sun, there were 30+ photos, my dp takes saunas with his sisters naked and dp wondereds at home naked, even when we go on family holidays with my family dp wonders around naked (my family didn't seem to have an issue with this but my dm did tell him he had a nice bum which I guess served him right.) It is great because I have never felt shy about breast feeding in public.

The babies do wee at baby massage but they lie on a towel and have a couple of flannels under their bum, ther have been no poo accidents (yet) I am sure it happens. I have put a nappy on ds when he was about to poo, he has a far away look when he is trying to poo so I get a few seconds notice.

The sun issue does worry me, now it is easy enough to keep ds in the shade but as he gets more mobile it might be harder. I am going to speak to my hv about the sun but my feeling is that it is good for a child (not baby) to get small amounts of sun on their skin. If I fully cover ds up his entire childhood to the point where his skin never sees the sun at all what will happen the first time he goes on holiday with his friends, I don't think he would wear his uv protective outfit, if his milky white skin saw the sun for the first time when he was with a bunch of lads in a hot country I think he would be very likely to get burnt, I hope to teach ds to treat the sun with respect by wearing a sun hat, sun cream and staying in the shade/covered up at the middle of the day. The days are very very long in Sweden in the summer, we tend to go to the lake late afternoon/early evening as it is less hot.

I would rather people didn't photograph/film my ds whilst he is naked, I don't think those wishing to film children need vans to hide in when the quality of phone cameras is so good, I don't feel like it would negatively effect ds is someone did film him, he would not know.

The beaches/parkes in Sweden are also used by dogs and there are also lots of wild animals like dear/wild pigs, all dog poo is picked up but they still wee. I don't think a toddler wee is more offensive than a dog wee, I would pick up the poo.

I do hope it is warm enough for lots of lovely outdoor play days this summer smile

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:03:56

I was very modest from an early age, Gubbins. I don't know why but I remember being very young and having dreams that I was naked in front of a lot of people! I requested wearing a swimming costume in the bath with my brother when I was really young - four or five, maybe? I just didn't like it.

I still don't. I wish I could explain why as it's nothing to do with being ashamed of my own body or other people's, but when I do see small children running around naked I feel horribly embarrassed, for me and for them.

The problem I have with a lot of these posts though is that running around naked seems synonymous with innocence and being carefree. I don't believe it is, when you consider the opposite of 'innocent' is 'guilty' - after all most children will become conscious of their body and being naked before they hit puberty and that doesn't make them guilty of something wrong or bad if they prefer to be fully clothed.

thegreylady Sun 12-May-13 10:04:26

I am more bothered by adults who say they don't want to see "wrinkly bits" or dangly bits" it is so sad that someone can look at a child's body and see ugliness where there is only innocence and nature.

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:08:11

Unlucky - no, it doesn't exactly worry or bother me but perhaps because my parents had a penchant for taking pictures whenever I was naked (or wearing horrible clothes, for that matter grin) it is something that has stayed with me. I don't like it, I didn't like it at the time. I have got a memory of my dad once barging into the bathroom and taking a picture of me in the bath and it really upset me. He meant no harm by it - he was just being a typical daft, teasing Dad - but I felt invaded in some way and whenever I have seen that picture since it's brought back that memory. I half stood up in shock, he snapped a picture and roared with laughter.

I seriously doubt anyone wishes they could run around naked - or do they? I don't know.

I accept that this is my issue but all I know is I will never, ever allow my child to go naked in a public place. I've no problem with getting changed and a quick flash but seeing naked children running around makes me uncomfortable in a way I struggle to fully verbalise. I don't see it as sweet and innocent, rather, I see it as taking advantage of that sweetness and innocence by not guiding them to the accepted norms of society.

sparkle12mar08 Sun 12-May-13 10:11:00

Aimed at me thegreylady? I don't particularly find adult 'wrinkly bits' and 'dangly bits' attractive either if that's any help. I see innocence in a child, sure, and nature, but beauty in their bits? Not so much! grin

amistillsexy Sun 12-May-13 10:17:44

I have no issues whatsoever with little ones being naked up to whatever age they like! However, the only photos we have of our dcs on the beach on England, the are in buttoned up coats, with blue fingers and toes grin

Overcooked Sun 12-May-13 10:19:28

My DD is three and is a streaker, at play dates, soft play, wherever really. I think it's funny especially when she can find a partner in crime, they seem so free. One of our friends, a couple, think that it's weird, their DD (who is 2) can only bath with her father if he's wearing trunks, now that is weird!

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 10:20:00

Guilty is only the opposite of innocent when you're using it as a legal term; I would say that in the way it is being used here, its opposite is knowing.

If my children were remotely uncomfortable with being naked, then of course I would let them cover up. The fact is that I have usually put them in a swimming costume, but they have decided to strip off. You can't project your feelings on to them; if they shared the slightest bit of the embarrassment you felt as a child I think I'd be aware of it.

TreeLuLa Sun 12-May-13 10:20:31

This summer (DTs are nearly 4) I have felt the need to leave their pants on or put them in swimmers when they are paddling at the beach. Up till now I haven't been bothered. No idea why.

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:23:03

I'm not sure Gubbins, I didn't tell my parents how I hated it as they'd have laughed at me and told me not to be so silly. I'm sure you wouldn't, but when an adult acts like something is normal and fine it's difficult as a child to challenge that.

At any rate, I can't project my feelings onto them but I can and will make decisions for them I believe to be in their best interests and one of these is to have bottoms covered in public.

unlucky83 Sun 12-May-13 10:23:58

Edge - there is a difference there DD2 (especially) was desperate to throw her clothes off at every opportunity (hence nudey rudey nickname) I let her hide getting changed for ballet now (even though I find that disturbing) -I didn't force her to do either... you are obviously modest as a person and your parents shouldn't have forced you to do something you weren't comfortable with...
(As to running naked - I would never do it -too wobbly and jiggly and conscious of being judged... and too grown up ...but sometimes it would be nice to be carefree and irresponsible and really not care what people think....)

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:26:30

No, I think that's fair enough unlucky.

I'm sorry to ask this, as it sounds really arsey, but do you think "nudey rudey" in itself has very negative connotations?

Overcooked Sun 12-May-13 10:36:07

How does buddy-rudely have negative connotations, it just rhymes, it's a fun term nothing else in it. If kids want to be nude then they should be allowed to be, you didn't want to be as a child and were made to be which is wrong and IMO has skewed your view.

Overcooked Sun 12-May-13 10:36:55

Nudey-rudey I meant.

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:40:15

Rudey - it's "rude" innit? grin I was just wondering.

I wasn't exactly 'made' to be, it's just my parents clearly thought as some do here, amazed anyone would have a problem with it, and like I say you can't always as a child express your discomfort with something others present as totally normal.

To be honest having thought about it some more I think it is hang-ups I have with my own body, which I will obviously try not to pass to the DCs. I'm not comfortable with it, mind, but as I said before, I wouldn't be rude or unpleasant to somebody - I'd prefer it if they didn't but then there are all sorts of things I'd prefer people not to do that they are perfectly entitled to do if you see what I mean!

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 10:44:24

I was wondering the same, Edge. Nudey-roody, fine; nudey rudey (or bidet-ruddy, as autocorrect would have it, implies that there's something rude; which you obviously don't actually think, unlucky.

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 10:49:04

lljkk Apologies in advance if I'm having a bit of a blonde moment...but I'm not sure if I complete understood your post ? Do you mean that you think paedophiles can be rehabilitated ? (Personally I don't) And I'm well aware that most sexual offences are committed by a close relative having had an uncle convicted for this a few years back. (He molested his grand-daughter and I know of at least 3 other incidents with girls in our family that were not reported). He was convicted in his 50's but his wife has somehow managed to convince herself that this was a one off incident and he developed a sexual attraction for children later in life. Gold medal to anyone that can figure that one out...

I'm don't think that the sight of any/every child will inflame a paedophile with passion or whatever the hell takes hold of them and cause them to reoffend....but it's kind of hard to know if they have a "type" and therefore I prefer to keep my kids clothed on the beach. By clothed I mean swimming costume and trunks not a burqua. It's complicated subject, isn't it...I know I'm probably not making any sense as others have said the these people can get as much kicks out of seeing kids in swimming clothes or underwear as being naked.....Fuck it, maybe I will put them in burquas confused

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 10:51:56

Believe me, I recognise that a school age child stripping off on a crowded beach to roll her wet self in the sand and get it stuck in all those bits which people worry about getting sandy is not normal. It was not remotely my choice, either. Trust me, my childrens love of nudity really is not influenced by me (and sometimes worries their father. )

edgeofsociety Sun 12-May-13 10:59:18

Oh I accept that for you Gubbins, I was just trying to explain how I felt as a child, really!

I'll probably have a little stripper myself! grin and maybe if I do, I'll relax a bit. Not sure really!

Justin, I'm like you, a pair of trunks or a little cossie - fine!

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 11:05:16

You could have a boy like my nephew, who, no matter how many times he was begged not to, had a talent for whipping his willy out seconds before the shutter clicked on any group family photo. smile

Booboobedoo Sun 12-May-13 11:17:00

Read about half the thread, and it appears there is a sharp divide.

I used to live by a London park with a paddling pool, and if we were passing in the summer and DS wanted to go in, we'd just strip him naked and do it. (Only if it was warm enough not to worry about towels).

We did this until he was three (when we moved out of London), but I still wouldn't think twice about it.

As a few people have said, I let him take the lead as to whether or not he wants to cover up or not, and will do the same with DD. The thought of girls being told to cover their chests way before breasts appear when boys can go topless makes me <angry>, actually.

I remember being in Barbados (honeymoon), and being amazed at how prudish all the Americans were wrt bare flesh.

exoticfruits Sun 12-May-13 11:21:51

I remember reading an 'interview' with Robert Black, who murdered at least four girls in the 1980s, who stated he would go to beaches and parks on hot days with the sole intention of hoping to see a child getting changed, or naked.

Which is all pathetic and no need for people to change their behaviour.

Read about half the thread, and it appears there is a sharp divide.

I said right at the beginning that it would be about 50/50 so OP might as well do as she wishes.

Teapot13 Sun 12-May-13 11:32:46

I am American. I find it shocking that anyone that would feel a need to cover up a baby/toddler for purposes of "modesty."

Doesn't any public pool (or beach, too, I suppose) have rules about nappies to prevent floaters?

unlucky83 Sun 12-May-13 11:49:04

The rudey bit was sticking her bottom out and waggling it - which she only did within close family and a habit which I'm sad to say she got off her father ...but at least he keep that behaviour within our family (ie not in front of 'PILs' etc)! - at least as far as I know he does - I hope so at least...hmm

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 12-May-13 13:20:15

Er..does anyone actually beleive that paedophiles can be rehabilitated??
They MAY have the self control not to act on their impulses, but actually Lijk, what you said about cunning/plotting behaviour, well, yes, that is a big part of what many peadophiles do.
In order to get access to children, they can be extraordinarily organised and predatory.
Also, and I have heard this from police who work in this field, unfortunately places like kids water parks and play parks ARE staked out by perverts. They don't need white vans with recording equipment. They just need their phones.
It is a horrible fact, but anywhere where children congregate, especially without clothes is a attaction to perverts.
And the police are well aware of this.

This wouldn't make me get ds to cover up-after all, it's not his fault, and I wouldn't want it to affect what he does, but to decry the fact that parks etc are an attraction to peadophiles as "hysteria" is just wishful thinking.

Making a big deal about clothes is as bad as making a big deal about no clothes. Just because my babies were dressed in public (due to cultural norms) does not mean that it was a "YOU MUST COVER UP AND BE MODEST!" deal, for them I'm sure it was no different whatsoever than "let's get you dressed so we can go to the supermarket", my kids I'm sure just accepted that when we go out we are dressed regardless of the venue.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Sun 12-May-13 19:35:07

Professionally I know that paedophiles cannot be rehabilitated - for a start they are not ill.

Secondly anybody that thinks it is hysterical to suggest that paedophiles hang out at parks is quite frankly deluded.

They do. A lot.

I have had the misfortune to work with many of them for the last twenty years so I know that they are never very far away - which is why I would rather protect my DC from getting filmed in a public place nude - the content of which may or may not end up on the Internet.

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 19:42:00

That honestly makes my blood run cold Nanny

I was in town with a friend some years ago (before having dcs) and a woman lifted her daughter's skirt and took down her pants to do a pee in the street (this was a busy shopping street in Glasgow). The way she was holding the wee girl meant that everything was in full view of anyone passing buy. I felt physically sick at the thought of who could be looking on.....And I know when a wee one has to go they really have to go but I would have at least taken him/her somewhere a bit more secluded if I couldn't find a public toilet.

seeker Sun 12-May-13 20:13:56

"Professionally I know that paedophiles cannot be rehabilitated - for a start they are not ill"

Professionally? Do tell.

Prissypumpkin Sun 12-May-13 20:39:15

Lots of people have mentioned taking photos of their naked children. Have a look at this blog from a barristerswife. It's a real eye opener..

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 21:28:29

Prissy - that is just ridiculous isn't it. I must admit we snap happy with DS1 and there are loads of pics of him in the bath with me and his Dad completely starkers.

sparkle12mar08 Sun 12-May-13 21:55:45

I must admit that whenever we take pictures of our children I make sure they're never naked. Even in the bath there's always a strategic toy or some bubbles.

Gubbins Sun 12-May-13 22:56:03

I'm sorry, but that makes me think of some saucy WI calendar, with the carefully positioned plate of scones. smile

sparkle12mar08 Mon 13-May-13 11:39:53

"We're going to need considerably bigger buns!" One of my favourite lines!

Prissypumpkin Mon 13-May-13 21:57:52

JustinBiebermakesmevom yes it is abit OTT, but I have heard that Boots and the like will report any snaps of naked children these days. Perhaps one for the "urban legends" thread!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now