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To change my 5yo daughters name?

(122 Posts)
HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 14:45:25

I am planning to change the surname of my 5yo daughter. She currently has my maiden name but uses my married name so I am going to change it officially to my married name.

However whilst I am doing that via deedpoll (that is the only way to do it due to various circs) I am wondering wether to change her first name also.

Her name is Katie, when I named her I didn't realise that Katie is short for Catherine and ever since I found out I have regretted not giving her a 'proper' name. She would still use Katie as her daily name but would have the option of using Catherine when she was older.

so WIBU to change both her names while I am at it or should I leave Katie alone and just change her surname?

Change it, but make it Katherine so she keeps the same initial.

Fluffypinkcoat Fri 10-May-13 14:47:31

I think YANBU to change her surname but changing her first name is a bit too far. She can always call herself Catherine when she's older if she chooses to change it herself. You don't need to do it now.

TeamEdward Fri 10-May-13 14:47:57

Katie has been in use as a "proper" name for many years now. I think it can stand alone without being a diminutive of Catherine.
On the other hand, if you're changing her surname...
In for a penny, in for pound grin

Pendipidy Fri 10-May-13 14:48:05

Katie can be short for Katherine - not sure why you are changing the k and c - but it doesn't have to be. Seems like you are making her name a bit complicated. If her name is not Katherine, why would you change her papers to it?

NotYoMomma Fri 10-May-13 14:48:31

Keep it as Katie

I know a verysucessful Katie :D

If she was one or 2 I might think different but I really like Katie

quietlysuggests Fri 10-May-13 14:48:45

I have only ever seen on MN that people think a long name is "proper" and they go searching around for a nickname, that will be the actual name!
I think just call your child what she will be called.
So your daughter is called Katie, what relevance does Catherine have to her? Her name is Katie, and its a beautiful name. Having Catherine on her birth cert will only be a pain for visas etc and when her name is pinned up on exam boards no-one will know it is her.
Why do it?

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 14:51:20

I wasn't sure if Katie was a proper name all by itself. I didn't want her growing up thinking I only gave her a nick name.

I think maybe I have been around mumsnet too long, who knew names were so complicated!

Thanks for the Katherine tip rather than Catherine!

Don't change her first name. I have a proper name that has been shortened since I was tiny. It is a complete PITA to have to write it out for official forms, and to explain when people say, "I thought you were Liz (not real name)". Just leave well alone.

ceebie Fri 10-May-13 15:02:53

There is no right or wrong answer. Katie is fine as a first name as it is. It could also be lovely to be named Katherine with Katie as a nick-name. Everyone's different in terms of what they like / dislike. So, what do YOU want to do? And if you don't really mind either way, would you let your 5yo have a say? (I agree Katherine might be preferable to Catherine so that the initial is the same).

Of course Katie is a proper name confused

musicposy Fri 10-May-13 15:05:45

We had the opposite problem to you. We gave DD2 a proper name and called her by a nickname (very much like Katherine on the birth certificate but always calling her Katie).

She hated the proper name and we constantly regretted not just giving her the nickname. Teachers called her propername as did doctors etc. We tried to do "known as" as much as possible but she would still get referred to by propername.

Last year, when she was 12, we finally changed her name by deed poll to nickname. She has been so happy since as she is finally the name she is called by. I truly wish we had done it like you did from the start. DH felt at birth she should have a proper traditional name, but it wasn't ever really her.

One thing to consider, on the deed poll you have to sign to say you renounce all useage of the old name. We had to write to everyone who had records on her (health service/ council/ passport agency) saying she completely renounced old name. We got 5 certiified copies to do this. DD2 was very happy to do that! But you are still planning to use the old name so I'm not sure you can do what you're describing. A change of name by deed poll is effectively giving up the old name completely.

I personally would let her decide when she's older. We hung on until DD was 12 even though she was quite certain before that. We could have hung on until 16 and let her do it herself but she wanted nickname on her GCSE records so that's why we acted earlier. But 5 is very young and she might not be so happy about the change in later years.

NotYoMomma Fri 10-May-13 15:07:02


What does Katie think?

She might want to be a Claudia!

squoosh Fri 10-May-13 15:09:46

That's slightly different though musicposy as your daughter wanted her birth cert to reflect the name by which she is known day to day whereas in this case the OP wants the birth cert to show a name that isn't even currently associated with the child.

I find it a bit odd to be honest. Leave it as Katie. It is definitely a 'proper' name.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 10-May-13 15:10:52

Or Kaitlyn?

musicposy Fri 10-May-13 15:10:52

What MrsTerryPratchett said!

Until we made the mistake of doing it I never realised what a massive PITA it is having one name on all the official documents and using another in real life. It causes so much difficulty. But if you're planning to keep calling her Katie, I can't see there's a point in making everything more complicated for her.

musicposy Fri 10-May-13 15:11:49

Squoosh, I think we're saying the same thing. I agree with you totally grin

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 15:12:42

Thats interesting musicposy I didn't realise you had to denounce your old name completely. That changes things a little bit.

I like the idea of asking DD although at 5 I'm not sure she will understand about proper names/ nicknames etc.

I suppose there is no hurry, I just thought I might as well do it while I was already changing her surname but I guess we can always do it later if she wants to.

It's just something I have always regretted but hardly a big worry in the grand scheme of things.

squoosh Fri 10-May-13 15:13:38

Yes, now I've read your post again I see we are! smile

OP don't be too swayed by the 'proper name' brigaade. They'd have you believe that unless you're called Margaret or Catherine a life of social and financial ruin lies ahead.

Domaby Fri 10-May-13 15:19:03

I wouldn't do it. I have a longer name which has two common nicknames (but one is way more common than the other). I'm known by the less common nickname which has a different initial to the longer name. It's a real pain to get people to use the nickname. Also they also sometimes just shorten it to the other nickname for the sake of it - you might get people calling your daughter Cathy rather than Katie.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland Fri 10-May-13 15:19:15

In my daughter's year at primary school there were four Katies, three were actually Katie officially, and one was Kate. Not a Catherine or Katharine among them.

Not sure if that's helpful or not.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 15:19:57

Thanks Sqoosh grin I don't want to disadvantage my daughter with a nickname of course. I LOVE Katie obviously but it just had never occured to me that it wasn't a proper name. It seems that a lot of people think it is fine as a proper name so I will leave it alone.

Now how about her middle name I HATE that!!

NotYoMomma Fri 10-May-13 15:20:06

It doesn't cause THAT much difficulty to be fair lol

Coming from a Victoria who never gets Victoria outs self

musicposy Fri 10-May-13 15:20:18

I've just dug out our deed poll, OP, which was done by a solicitor friend of ours.

Part of it says -

"On behalf of musicposy'sDDnickname we entirely renounce, relinquish and abandon the use of her said former name musicposy'sDDpropername and on her behalf assume adopt and determine to take and use from the date hereof the name of musicposy'sDDnickname in substitution for her former name of musicposy'sDDpropername so relinquished as aforesaid to that intent"

I'm guessing that's standard wording! in which case I don't suppose you could do it.

NotYoMomma Fri 10-May-13 15:21:12

What is it? Can we just pretend you've called her Katie Caitlin without realising ;P

Scruffey Fri 10-May-13 15:22:21

Leave Katie as it is. It's a lovely name and can be shortened to Kate as well as she chooses.

I'm coming at this from the opposite angle. I have a DS who has a long name, and only ever gets the short version (like Stephen and Steve)

I always wanted him to be Steve, and I only gave in for the sake of peace to family pressure and put Stephen on his birth certificate. He has never ever ever been called it and has no desire to call himself Stephen ever.

He's nearly a man now (he's 23) and he won't change now, and I wish I'd just called him Steve from the get go.

(Obv name has been changed)

Trill Fri 10-May-13 15:27:15

As an adult she may appreciate having the full range of Katherine-based names to choose from. It's a common shortening so she's unlikely to be annoyed at having to say "my full name is Katherine but I go by Katie" (the other way round might be worse - if she is "just Katie" many people will assume she is "really" Katherine anyway)

dozily Fri 10-May-13 15:29:46

There's no right answer to this, only opinions. Have you talked to your Dd about it? What does she think?

Personally I would put Katherine on the birth certificate right from the start, but I'm not sure if I'd go as far as changing it at age 5...

As for "renouncing" your old name, this is only for the purpose of official documents - you can choose to use whatever nickname / diminutive you like in day-to-day life.

My Dh, mum, brother and sister are all known by shortened forms of their real names. Hasn't caused them any bother at all, although I guess keeping the initial the same perhaps makes things simpler.

SlingsAndArrows Fri 10-May-13 15:29:52


I'm a fan of full names as I think they can lend gravitas when you're older. I'm known by my diminutive but use my full name when getting arsey with pushy sales calls, for example. smile

One thing you might want to consider is whether there are any alternative diminutives to Catherine that you're not so keen on, but which your daughter may want to assume when she is older. (Eg Kitty - although personally I like that name!)

Also, I think you can have a Katie from Catherine with a C - I know a couple of people who do that.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 15:30:28

Well I guess that rules out that idea then, thanks musicposy.

Katie is and ever will remain Katie!

squoosh Fri 10-May-13 15:32:38

Yay for Katie!

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 15:32:59

Haha notyomomma, how did youi guess her middle name??

Her middle name is just a normal middle name but I just don't like it. I wouldn't actually change it though.

musicposy Fri 10-May-13 15:33:45

Katie is lovely, btw smile

EuphemiaLennox Fri 10-May-13 15:34:49

Katie is a proper, and very lovely name.

lagoonhaze Fri 10-May-13 15:35:49

Its a bit like Kate middleton isn't it?

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 15:38:58

Lagoonhaze I think every time I read about her in the papers it reminds me that I didn't give my Katie her proper name.

Ah well I picked Katie because I liked it, I still like it and even if we changed it to Katherine/Catherine we would still use Katie so why bother I guess.

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 15:43:50

KAtie is a proper nam e why would you change it no don't it is a bit silly that isn't what you named her at birth you must have liked Katie in the first place do you think she deserves a 'proper' grown up name or something

Graceparkhill Fri 10-May-13 15:51:13

Just to say it would never occur to me that Katie isn't a proper name.
I know a lovely young woman called Kate ( no ,not that one) who was christened "Kate".
I also know a Meg who was never a Margaret , if you see what I mean!

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 15:52:53

Or me I know a few Katies and they are about 4/5

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 15:53:43

I know a beth who was never an elizebeth or bethany , I also know a Meg

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 16:33:12

Well I never knew that Meg was short for Margaret either. I would have assumed Megan.

I am rubbish at this naming business.

Blinking mumsnet confusing me over my daughters lovely name.

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 10-May-13 16:52:11

I'm a tad confused as to the circumstances you have that mean you need to use a deed poll.

As far as I'm aware in the uk the only way to obtain legal proof of identity after publicly declaring your new name is via deed poll. So no circumstances would matter as its just how you do it.

Startail Fri 10-May-13 17:07:53

I wish the short form of my name was on my birth certificate. I'm never called by my full name, it's just this strange person who appears on credit cards.

teapartiesinsummer Fri 10-May-13 17:10:48

You see, I love both Katie and Katherine/Catherine. However, I can't STAND Kath/Cath (apologies to any Kaths out there.) So I'd say just keep it as Katie. It's a lovely name!

Jack is a diminutive of John, after all wink

squoosh Fri 10-May-13 17:13:17

Yep, and I bet that very few of the 6 trillion Harrys currently doing the rounds have Henry on their birth cert.

Dahlialover Fri 10-May-13 17:20:46

I have a best friend called Katie, whose proper name is Katherine. No problems with documents - most people are called by something other than their given name to some extent.

It is entirely up to you and your daughter.

If you are going to do it, you might as well do it when you change her surname, as it will all have to be registered with different agencies etc and you don't want to have to do that a second time!

Will you keep her original surname as a middle name? It is a tie to her past.

Dahlialover Fri 10-May-13 17:29:40

"Well I never knew that Meg was short for Margaret either. I would have assumed Megan.

I am rubbish at this naming business. "

Old names like K/Cathe/arine Elizabeth and Margaret have loads of diminutives! Maggie, Meg, Daisy, Marguerite, Peggie. etc.

I think it was more fashionable in the 20s/30s. You could give a child a proper grown up name, or its parents and call them something else at home. My grandad's family all had different names to their birth certificiate. My Aunt was called Molly all her life. In her eighties, the doctor stoped using Mrs D and started calling her by her Christian name and had to be corrected as no one had ever called her Mary!! It was the first we knew of it too!!

HSMMaCM Fri 10-May-13 17:29:48

I used to work with an adult Katie. Lovely name.

tiredteddy Fri 10-May-13 17:39:12

Hi. I'm Katie in RL. It's my name in full. I've never nice been asked if it's short fir Katherine or Catherine. I'm 33 and a teacher so it's a fine name. I've never cone across a problem with my name and never realised it wasn't a proper name before I joined mumsnet wink

tiredteddy Fri 10-May-13 17:39:42

Agh. Never once been asked!

sweetiepie1979 Fri 10-May-13 17:41:16

Katie is a nick name yes change it, you don't have to use it.

themaltesecat Fri 10-May-13 17:41:27

Katherine or the even more beautiful Kathryn- why not?

Katie is a good name for a dog or a good nickname for a girl / woman. It does look a bit daft on a birth certificate, in my opinion.

crashdoll Fri 10-May-13 17:48:04

"Katie is a good name for a dog."

grin A bit OTT, it's not like she named her daughter Fido!

Willabywallaby Fri 10-May-13 17:48:55

I have exactly what you describe, and for years have had to explain why I have a proper name with a C but known at Katie/Kate. My mother didn't think she would shorten it but my grandmother got my brother saying Katie so it stuck. I use my long official name at work and would give a daughter a long name. I'm pleased the Duchess is the same as me, I used to think I was the only one!

But back to the OP I wouldn't change her first name.

rocketupbum Fri 10-May-13 17:50:03

I am a Katie Katherine and its a right royal pain in the bum! 90% of my official stuff is Katherine but I always forget which so have to guess and seem as if I don't know my own name! Everybody in the whole world calls me Katie so Katherine doesn't feel like me at all.
Katie is nice as a stand alone name, I don't see any reason to give your little girl an extra, unessesary burden.
Sorry for the rant, can you tell I hate having 2 names?!

Moominsarehippos Fri 10-May-13 17:50:23

Names are odd. I was given a proposterous (too long, too posh, too unuaual - although not made up or unheard of) name and loathed it. I never used it until fairly recently. I hated anyone asking my name as my family gave me a fairly stupid nickname (never allow your three year old to 'name' their baby sister), and the loathed real name was too unwieldy for a small child. Imagine growing up hating anyone asking what your name is! (I was a shy child).

Now its ok. Ok I'm over 40 now, but worked in the city where a 'serious' and 'posh' name worked ok. The middle name is still unspoken (truly awful old lady witch name).

I worked with a Mandy who had that on her birth certificate. She didn't like it.

Floggingmolly Fri 10-May-13 17:50:46

It'd be fairly confusing for a five year old to suddenly change their name I would think; but given she's going to continue using the same one it seems a ridiculous thing to worry about.
Why didn't you worry about giving your child a "nickname" when you were actually naming her? confused

squoosh Fri 10-May-13 17:52:01

But no one calls the Duchess Catherine in her personal life do they? I bet she finds it a pain to remember to call herself Catherine when she's 'at work'.

Fakebook Fri 10-May-13 17:54:29

Or you could be cool and change it to K8E. Do that.

Lifeisontheup Fri 10-May-13 18:08:56

I'm Catherine known as Kate and it's never been a problem. I always know which I'm using and quite like the option to pick and choose.

Willabywallaby Fri 10-May-13 18:10:30

Pleased to see there's more of us grin

hopingnothopping Fri 10-May-13 18:13:29

squoosh it is only the newspapers that call William's wife "Kate" actually. To all her friends and family, she has always been Catherine.

LastTangoInDevonshire Fri 10-May-13 18:15:32

I have a longer 'proper' name. No-one in my family, or friends, has EVER called me by it (only hospital/doctor). I've never wanted to change it to my shorter name - why would I?

hopingnothopping Fri 10-May-13 18:15:40

I meant to say that the name Katie is beautiful in its own right and of course it is a proper name. Think of all those little boys called "Harry" which was originally a nickname for "Henry" - it doesn't matter at all. (And "Jack" which was usually a diminutive of John until about 20 years ago). There are no rules!

SarahAndFuck Fri 10-May-13 18:22:55

I think the rules about renouncing her former name if you change it by deed poll won't be so strict as to stop you calling her Katie informally.

I think those rules are to stop you going by two very different names on official documents rather than to stop you using a shorter or longer variant of the official name. For example if you changed your name from Alison to Bethany, one isn't a natural shortening of the other so still using both names on your official documents would cause problems.

In your case it would be like changing her name to Joanne but not being allowed to shorten it to Jo if you wanted to. I don't think they are that strict.

But if you do change it, follow the advice about keeping the initial.

My friend is Rosalyn, known as Lynn and it causes her a lot of problems with collecting parcels or cashing cheques with the wrong initial on them.

Yonionekanobe Fri 10-May-13 18:23:25

DD is two and has a long name but it is shortened. The other day I was trying to teach her get 'real' name. The conversation with name changed went:

Me: Your real name is Rebecca
DD: No! Becky!

Repeat 900 times....

So her name is now Katie smith and you want to change it to Katherine jones? Even if you carry on calling her Katie all official bodies will start calling her Katherine and that's a bit much for her to deal with aft a surname change too. Just leave it as Katie and when she grows up she can choose to add Katherine if she wants.

Coffeeformeplease Fri 10-May-13 19:04:27

My son has a shortened version of a long and traditional name. It also ends on an "i". I think that's what people mean with nick name. it's cute for a little one but...
My son loves his name, it suits him, his friends have shortened it even further (a bit like Katie-Kate) and I would never change it. his middle name is George so if he ever feels he needs gravitas grin

Katie is lovely, as is Kate [kiss me Kate] I wanted a Kate, but dh was very very against it.

MushroomSoup Fri 10-May-13 19:06:16

I'm a grown woman of 43 and a Katie. That's on my birth certificate and I think it looks fine there, Themaltesecat! I am a professional (school principal) and I'm more than happy with it!

Willabywallaby Fri 10-May-13 19:41:06

My Mum did actually name me after her grandmother Catherine, but she had legal documents with her name as Kate, bit weird I became known as that when she named me the long version.

StuntGirl Fri 10-May-13 19:48:42

Good god freddie, cut the apron strings woman grin I think at 23 your son is a man now, not nearly a man!

grin no he's really only 12 in my head

We were just talking about his new career which will require gravitas so I said "are you going to use Stephen and not Steve?"

He laughed like a drain at me the shit grin

jellybeans Fri 10-May-13 20:06:58

I think stick with Katie. Many parents use short forms nowadays so it won't be unusual when this generation are older to have lawyers and doctors with 'nicknames'. To me nicknames are more like 'big jim' or 'dazza' than shortened forms. Short forms are fine.

Most names came from other names at some point eg Benjamin from Benyamin etc etc. Few use the ancient forms. One of mine has a mn considered NN name but I haven't regretted it. It is known in it's own right and only about three people have ever asked if it is short for the long version. If you look at names like Alfie, Archie, Zach, Millie etc those short forms are all far more popular than Alfred etc.

I myself have a very long name which has several shortenings. From the get go I was always called a short form of it. As a result anything official comes across as rather too formal and not really me. I like it in some ways but in others a name like Jane would be so much easier!

jellybeans Fri 10-May-13 20:17:02

I think stick with Katie. Many parents use short forms nowadays so it won't be unusual when this generation are older to have lawyers and doctors with 'nicknames'. To me nicknames are more like 'big jim' or 'dazza' than shortened forms. Short forms are fine.

Most names came from other names at some point eg Benjamin from Benyamin etc etc. Few use the ancient forms. One of mine has a mn considered NN name but I haven't regretted it. It is known in it's own right and only about three people have ever asked if it is short for the long version. If you look at names like Alfie, Archie, Zach, Millie etc those short forms are all far more popular than Alfred etc.

I myself have a very long name which has several shortenings. From the get go I was always called a short form of it. As a result anything official comes across as rather too formal and not really me. I like it in some ways but in others a name like Jane would be so much easier!

jellybeans Fri 10-May-13 20:18:07

Oops sorry for double post

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 20:20:37

I didn't worry about it being a nickname at the time because I didn't know. I only found out afterwards that it was originally a shortened form of Katherine.

Her surname won't change in her mind, she thinks her name is already katie Jones, school use katie Jones but she has her original name katie smith on her documents. The surname change would just make her officially what she already thinks she is.

It's very split opinion on wether a proper name is a good idea or not!

NynaevesSister Fri 10-May-13 20:24:25

Weeeeelllll Musicposy that's official use of the name. She would be Catherine MarriedName on everything like school records, bank account, doctors. What they actually call her to get her attention in the playground/class/waiting room can be whatever you like. It is just that you can't use Katie MarriedName on documents.

My real name is a proper name that ends in an 'ie' sound. I like it and would never change it but there's one aspect I've never liked (and talking to other 'ie' people I'm not alone). It always feels like a 'girls' name, even now when I'm middle aged!

Letitsnow9 Fri 10-May-13 21:29:29

I'm not katie but similiar, my parents decided they were going to call me by a name, why register me with the 'proper' name when no one is going to use it!

dozily Fri 10-May-13 21:35:22

I sat on the fence earlier but on reflection...

Change it, change it, change it <chants>

deleted203 Fri 10-May-13 21:49:53

I think Katie is fine! Of course it's a proper name if you love it.

People who think you should have a 'proper' name - and they are going to call you by it, whether you use it or not, piss me off.

One of my sisters is always known as Ginny. We know a woman who insists on calling her 'Virginia' every time she sees her. Gin's actual name is Ginevra - not fucking Virginia - so it really does her head in! Particularly as she's politely told the silly cow, 'It isn't Virginia - simply Ginny'.

Squigglypig Fri 10-May-13 21:54:59

I have an older sister named Katie. Never thought it was anything other than a proper name! She's a doctor so hasn't done too badly for herself.

likeitorlumpit Fri 10-May-13 21:57:29

what is it with you and a proper name op , why dont you think katie is a proper name ? confused

I've used different NNs at different times and am really glad that I have the option to be LongGrownUpName as well as NN. Same for my brother and sister too. I'm so glad I was given the proper name and not the nickname.

perplexedpirate Fri 10-May-13 22:04:49

My mum changed my name at 5. I really, really wouldn't.
At 5 you know what your name is, first name and surname. The change has caused loads of trouble and mess right into my adult life (mainly bureaucracy, but it could actually have put me out of my job).
Just leave it as it is, for her sake. I say this as someone who has direct personal experience.

I changed my DCs surname by deed poll. The denouncing of the old name is covered by a line in the deed poll document, this is not something you need to do separately.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 22:07:31

Sorry likeit no offense intended, that's just the only way I know how to phrase what I mean. I know katie is a proper name, not like dewdroponapetal or something made up for instance.

I think I will stick with Katie and if she wants it changed as she reaches her teens then we can do it then.

If I offer to change her name now I dread to think what she would want! Probably rapunzal or something.

Bullets Fri 10-May-13 22:08:30

I have two friends called Kate who are actually Katherines, and they both HATE it when people use their 'proper' names, which happens as lot as both police bods!

morethanpotatoprints Fri 10-May-13 22:10:49

I can understand you wanting to change surname but wouldn't change her first name. Poor kid won't know where she is. grin

LynetteScavo Fri 10-May-13 22:11:03

If you didn't realise Katie was short for Katherine when you named your DD, why worry that your DD might think you gave her a nn? confused

And don't ask a 5 DD has a long name, which we never called her....on her reception home visit her teacher noticed I was calling her by her nn and asked her if she wanted to be called...(lets say Catherine or Katie) She said Catherine (ofr example), as she thought it was a funny sounding word. 4 years later the novelty has worn off and she is begging me to tell her teacher what her real name is. But I won't because her real name is the long one.

marriedinwhiteagain Fri 10-May-13 22:16:24

I think you should wait until she is older and see what she wants. She was given a name at bith and I don't think you have the right to change it without consultation when she is sufficiently mature to understand. bitter

KatesterNI Fri 10-May-13 22:30:43

Hi there....this is my first post so I'm not sure if I am suppose to give my real name or not!! I couldn't resist though as I just wanted to say that I am Kathryn on my birth certificate but have been called Katie literally from birth (no idea why my parents did this confused). It has been a real pain for anything official like mortgage, passport, driving license etc!

pinkyredrose Fri 10-May-13 22:47:15

OP why are you changing her surname if you don't mind me asking?

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 22:50:55

Because me, her older brother and her dad all have married surname. Only she has my maiden name. I had it when she was born but their dad and I got married when she was two. She has always used married surname, I don't think she even knows its not officially her name.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Fri 10-May-13 22:58:02

I like Katie, just leave it at that. It's really lovely. I used to know a Jenny who was constantly asked if it was short for Jennifer but it wasn't.

Can I just ask though - you're changing her surname, considering amending her first name and say you hate her middle name - did you feel coerced somehow into giving her names you didn't really want to? Or have you just gone off the middle name?

SoftKittyWarmKitty Fri 10-May-13 23:01:07

Her older brother has his dad's surname but she doesn't? I not understand that, unless you mean her younger brother?

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 23:02:37

I love her first name and would still use it as it is, I was just thinking of having it as an option for her. I was coerced into her middle name which I hate but wouldn't change as its just a middle name. Her surname would just be an official step as she already uses the name I will be changing it to.

All this name changing talk has for me thinking, I never got to choose my name, maybe its time for a change!

HalfBakedCleverCookie Fri 10-May-13 23:05:59

No her older brother.

Older brother was named after dad who was abusive so we split up, I was pregnant with Dd and named her my maiden name. Exh said he had changed and scared of being alone with two children I took him back, we married, he hadn't changed and we have now seperated. I will be keeping my married name as I like it, ds already has it and Dd has always used it and thinks its her name so I might as well make it official.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Fri 10-May-13 23:14:25

I see, thanks for explaining OP, you've been through a lot. Personally I'd change mine and the kids back to my maiden name rather than keep the surnames same as an abusive ex's but it's up to you, of course. Good luck with it all.

katieellen Sat 11-May-13 00:08:01

my daughters name is kate , i call her katherine sometimes to annoy her as she hates the name and says its old fashioned ,her friends also shorten it to kat , kate and katie are modern names , i would stick with katie she will never use katherine .

PaWithABra Sat 11-May-13 00:55:13

the greatest song EVER written was written for a Katie. Don't you dare change it, ever.

PaWithABra Sat 11-May-13 00:56:43

unless you call her 'marie'

PaWithABra Sat 11-May-13 01:06:04

Actually 'Marie' is a better song . Call her that .

McNewPants2013 Sat 11-May-13 02:59:51

My dd name is Katie to me it is her name. I think it's the best female name (biased of course )

chipmonkey Sat 11-May-13 03:13:28

I made the mistake of calling ds1 an "official" name which I didn'r lik and he hates! And which MIL insisted on using for about a year.
So ds3 is Tom! Officially.

pmgkt Sat 11-May-13 03:27:44

I'm a Katie not a Katherine, never been a problem. Keep it if she likes it.

KaFayOLay Sat 11-May-13 08:32:27

I have a Katie, never ever has she been referred to as Katherine and nobody has ever asked if Katherine is her real name.
I wouldn't change it.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Sat 11-May-13 08:53:26

Thanks kitty the kids know themselves as married name though so I don't mind keeping it.

Thanks everyone, I am keeping Katie as she is, I would have never known about the Katherine link if it hadn't been for mumsnet anyway. I loved it then, I live it now so why mess with it.

Arf at choosing a name because you prefer a song. Not a bad idea as inspiration but not reason to change it at 5 grin

2rebecca Sat 11-May-13 09:47:58

I would change Katie to Katherine because I'm in the Katie is a nickname brigade, like Jamie, Tony, Davie , Mandy etc. At 5 I'd probably ask her opinion, also what does her dad think. Changing her surname seems a bit off if you've split up from her dad anyway. How can she not know what her surname really is if she's 5? Surely the school/ nursery call her by her real surname?

cluecu Sat 11-May-13 11:31:43

I was baptised Katherine but called Katy from day 1. My mum wanted to give me a saint's name officially but knew Katy would be my name.

She spelled it with a 'y' as that made it seem a bit more unique so that's the only way I've ever used and I'm still the only Katy with a y that I know (apart from in the What Katy Did books) smile

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected Sat 11-May-13 13:48:43

Definitely go for it - it's not up to anyone else but you.

LooseyMy Sat 11-May-13 14:00:30

I've never understood the point of calling children a name they won't be addressed as. It just complicates life!

BlackholesAndRevelations Sat 11-May-13 14:19:28

I've taught children whose names are not what's on their birth certificate, eg Toby who was really tobias, and eddie who was Edward. Both boys got very upset (as did their parents!) when they were called by the full names. Why bother?

2rebecca Sat 11-May-13 14:35:23

I agree that a child won't be keen on a longer form of their name, but as an adult I don't see any disadvantage to having a longer more grown up version of your name to use if you wish.
"Becky" would be fine as a child but if that was on my birth certificate I don't have the option of the more elegant professional sounding Rebecca.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Sat 11-May-13 18:31:17

2rebecca, school call her by married surname, that is what I asked them to call her and they never questioned it.

Even though her dad and I have split up, me and her brother both have married surname which is why I want her to have it also.

2rebecca Sat 11-May-13 19:48:44

Fair enough

whatsonyourplate Sat 11-May-13 19:52:44

As the mother of a Kathryn, I think Katie has a higher chance of getting her name spelled correctly!

Gottalovecosta Sat 11-May-13 20:36:22

Our son is called Sam - we decided we'd never call him Samuel and Sam is a 'proper' name. If he decides when he's older he'd like to have the fuller version of the name, he can choose to do that.

Anytime we're at hospital with him, they often call out 'Samuel Gottalovecosta.' despite his records all saying 'Sam'!

2rebecca Sat 11-May-13 22:41:30

Sam is a nickname for Samuel, or Samantha.

mikkii Sat 11-May-13 22:47:56

My friend's daughter is also Katie.

Please don't change her name, my son's names are Alessandro Valentino, we use Valentino, Tino for short. It is truly a PITA remembering to book his plane tickets to match his passport. We wish we had never done it. DD's both get called by the name on their passport ( well, ish....)

nooka Sat 11-May-13 23:04:02

My children both have a formal name but are generally known by their nicknames. It's never caused a problem, nor do I understand why it might. The short forms are very closely linked to their formal names (like Jamie/James). My brother has always been known by the short form of his name, professionally and by friends and family. Seem completely normal to me, and I've never heard him complain.

Sure when flying etc the formal name is used, but that's not exactly a problem. My father was always known by his middle name, which is a bit more tricky, but he said it was no big deal (my mother complained, but he just responded to his 'other' name too).

BenjaminButton172 Sun 12-May-13 09:31:48

Katie/jamie/sam are not nicknames. They are just names.

Why put a name on the birth certificate if u arent going to use it. I hate the 'our child is called alexander but we call him alex & we never use alexander'. Why didnt u just call the child alex. Its pointless.

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