...to wonder how "routines" (GF et al) actually work in reality?

(59 Posts)
MsElisaDay Fri 10-May-13 10:24:19

Usually DS (6 months) goes to bed at 7pm ish, has a last feed at 11pm ish, wakes once or twice, and is up around 7am.
However, last night he was up virtually non-stop between 11pm and 4am. I think his teeth were bothering him, as he finally settled back down at 4am after some Calpol. He then slept through til 8.40am (a lie in!!) as clearly he was shattered.

Anyway. The backdrop to this is that various friends are telling me I should have him on a more strict routine to try and encourage him to sleep through. They also say that his mealtimes and naps should be more set in stone, rather than fitting around whatever we're doing during the day.

What I'm wondering is, if I were doing a GF routine, what would I have done last night? Would I have woken him at 7am despite the fact that he didn't sleep properly until 4am?
AIBU, therefore, to wonder how routines work in reality? Or do people just abandon them when teething issues or other problems come along?

LimitedEditionLady Fri 10-May-13 10:34:26

I think routine is great but you have to be a bit flexible with it.i wouldnt go waking him up at 7am if hes tired!i think its harder to do a set in stone routine with a small baby but you can try simple things like trying to do bath and bedtime at same time and also mealtimes around same time but its not bad to be a little flexible.some children will become distressed if their routines arent kept exactly the same so i think its good to show them that it is ok to be a little later or earlier so they are more comfortable.tbh it can be hard to start a proper routine but with persistance it pays off x

ChilliJo Fri 10-May-13 10:44:32

Do you want him in a strict routine? If yes, then fair enough.

If you don't, then don't and tell your friends to butt the hell out of it. If a friend of mine tried to tell me what I should be doing with my DC then I suspect we wouldn't be friends for very much longer.

And FWIW, I never enforced any routine on mine, not my cup of brew at all.

DeWe Fri 10-May-13 11:01:43

A strict routine is not necessarily the answer.
I looked after a little girl who was on a very strict routine because she had to take medicine at particular times, so she needed to be in a routine to work out her medicine times round food (had to be on an empty stomach) and sleep.
That was necessary for her. But there were times that it would (for her) have been nice to be able to stay a little longer, or do something at a time when she couldn't. If she got out of routine, it was hard to sort her medicines out so she had to be woken, fed etc. at the stated times.

However I think strict routine for routine's sake is for the parent's benefit not for the child's.
Having had a conversation with someone who wants you to do them a favour (look after their child) and every time you say you can come is met with a shriek of horror "but he needs to be asleep/eating/watching cbeebies" with complete expectation that you should fit in round their timetable even if it means your children missing out on activities...

katiecubs Fri 10-May-13 11:03:04

Don't have a clue - would have loved a better routine with my 2 but their napping/eating was all quite random. I think Gina babies have 2 hours at lunchtime, i'd be lucky to get 30 mins!

jacks365 Fri 10-May-13 11:05:14

You need a certain amount of routine around meal times and bed times because it does help but i wouldn't force any baby onto a strict routine i'd work the routine round their natural times. Its always worked for me but my sis did gf and although it worked to some extent i'm not convinced it made her life easier for example she commented that mine have always weaned easily now that could be because i let them pick when they were ready rather than checking a calendar.

Gf didn't stop dn waking in the night up till about 4.

givemeaclue Fri 10-May-13 11:07:53

Work brilliantly. I would have woken a bit after seven but not let sleep till 8.40

stealthsquiggle Fri 10-May-13 11:09:06

I never did routines for my DC - TBH our lives were, and are, just too disorganised and changeable for it to work. But I have a friend who has 2 small DC who are both "clockwork babies" and it does seem to work for her. She is very organised herself, and doesn't do well with chaos (it stresses her out) so being able to predict when the DC will nap, eat, etc works well. It's not absolutely set in stone - when they come to stay with us we adjust our plans and she 'bends' their routine so that it works for everyone, but even then it helps to know the routine - for example, if we are out past her DC1's nap time, we will make sure we have snacks /comfort objects /etc with us.

I was always 100% anti-routine, but I can see both sides of the argument nowadays.

mummybare Fri 10-May-13 11:10:08

I don't understand these people who tell you what you 'should' do with your baby... Do what works for you.

We have/had a reasonably strict routine for DD (1yo) as it works for her (she used to get overtired so easily and never seemed to give sleepy cues as she was just so easily distracted). Her day sleep had a great effect on her night sleep too and she sleeps very well now she is used to a good nap. But they're all different and what is right for her is not necessarily right for your DD.

If you want a routine or there is a particular sleep issue you want to fix then that's one thing, but there's no reason why you should do anything. And waking up once or twice a night at 6mo is totally normal.

WilsonFrickett Fri 10-May-13 11:12:34

I was quite routine-focused (though not to a GF level) and always felt that the point of them was they could be broken. So while I always put DS to bed at a set time, if we were out, or there was something else going on, I didn't sweat it. Just went back to our routine the next day.

So in this situation, I would have done exactly as you. Let the baby sleep, eased back into the routine today (so even though he's up a couple of hours later, I'd still put him down for naps etc at the 'normal' time).

Your friends can do one though. It's up to you how you do things.

MsElisaDay Fri 10-May-13 11:23:44

My gut instinct is that, if today DS wanted to sleep til 8.40am whereas usually he rarely sleeps past 7am, that's because he was tired and needed the sleep.
Also, after a horrendous night, I wasn't inclined to set the alarm for 7am and get up with him then - I'd much rather just sleep as long as he sleeps (lazy mother).

So, to me, the sensible thing to do was let him sleep as long as he needs, take meal/nap times as they come today, and put him down at 7pm ish (as usual) tonight.

I've been going with my gut and following a vague routine - directed by DS - since he was born. I'm happy with that. He seems happy with that.
But it's very difficult to know what to do for the best, when people say that the reason he's not sleeping through is because I haven't got him in a fixed routine.

WilsonFrickett Fri 10-May-13 11:57:22

Honestly, sounds like you do have him in a routine, albeit a routine that's led by him. Nowt wrong with that.

brew hope tonight's better for you.

I don't like routines, my DC all slept through without one, I think some DC do and some don't.

I always think routines sound awful, I've seen it on mn, although rarely heard it in the flesh, things like "I won't come round for dinner as I don't want the baby's routine being moved by half hour" or "I can't meet friends for lunch/at the park because the baby sleeps at 1pm and only in his cot".

All ridiculous, DC are portable and flexible, I can eat my lunch everyday at 1pm but still meansI'm sometimes hungry before 1:00 or not until after, it depends on what else is going on, I think babies are just the same.

RedPencils Fri 10-May-13 12:09:08

GF routine says bed at 7pm and wake at 7am, so you're already in the routine. Illness throws everyone off their usual routine and babies are no different.
I followed GF with my DTs (loosely because her timings are hard to achieve with two). DT1 slept through when he was 3 months old. DT2 slept through when he was 8 months old, although he was almost 1 before it was reliably every night. The 'routine' doesn't help them sleep through the night IMO.

redskyatnight Fri 10-May-13 12:21:32

I think a rough routine is a good idea. And one led by the baby. And one that changes frequently.

I found GF is too rigid. DS has never (and he's now 9) slept for 12 hours overnight - so there was never a chance he would go from 7-7.

Sianilaa Fri 10-May-13 12:25:40

I used GF (feed/sleep times) and it was brilliant, but my two were textbook easy babies and formula fed. Once you get the hang of it, it was easy to be more flexible IME. Illness is one of those times to be flexible and ease back to routine today.

If you want a strict routine then fine but you have to do what works for you not what others tell you to!

A strict routine is not about slotting a baby into your routine - it's about adapting your life around what works for the babies. Yes, I missed out on some meet ups with friends when my little ones are napping which is hard. But my friends wouldn't have been there in the middle of the night if he was awake! So it worked for us.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 10-May-13 12:27:05

I never did routines, we were totally baby led. DS got himself into his own routine with feeding and the only thing we did was put him to bed at the same time. Even now he naps when he is tired, not when I make him.

I don't like strict routines, babies aren't robots. If I'm not hungry at the same time everyday, why would a baby be?

Teething, illness and growth spurts throw it all out the window anyway.

stopmovingthefurniture Fri 10-May-13 12:31:21

Some babies seem to need a strict routine. Others seem fine without it. My DD thrived on it, so we mostly kept to it because it made our lives so much easier.

If you have the GF book (or equivalent) you'll find answers to these questions. Speaking from my own experience, I think we would have tried to get something into her about eight after a night like you've described, then held off until midmorning feed (if that was still going - can't remember) and tried to edge closer to being good to feed again late lunchtime. Then, every evening, we counted up how many mls she'd had and worked out how well she needed to feed. We then gave her exactly the amount that was needed, even if it meant waking her at ten and keeping her awake for long enough to do a split feed.

You're always trying to shave off time here and there to protect that golden period when your baby is not sleeping and not feeding mid/late afternoon, in order to ready for tea and bedtime. I realise some people would hate it but we were fine with it and DD was generally only cranky when we let the routine slip.

I did always think 'is this really necessary, would DD not be happier being left to sleep rather than woken to feed...'. Hard on the heels of that thought would come the realisation that I lacked the experience to manage her eating and sleeping without a routine. Left up to me, she would have been up most of the night and we would have been worn ragged. This was proved by a few 'experiments' after which DH declared that DD paying this small price was far preferable to everything else disintegrating. For us, that was the right call.

My mum was a bit of a hippy where babies were concerned and she'd been horrified at the thought of DD having a routine. But when she saw it in practice, she was quickly converted.

People will often claim credit for their baby sleeping through, inferring smugly that their gentle yet firm routine/high parental expectations/refusal to take any nonsense, feeding choices - or even, nursery decoration scheme (ha!) were responsible for their baby sleeping through.

Then they have a child who doesn't sleep well, and their smuggery recedes as they realise it's the luck of the draw.

I do think regular bedtimes and meal times make it easier on most kids though, but the idea that you do a routine = they sleep is not based in reality.

ppeatfruit Fri 10-May-13 12:35:35

Totally agree with pobble all babies are different as are parents. Routines for the sake of routine is weird IMO.

cornflakegirl Fri 10-May-13 12:35:38

I used GF with DS1 because it made me feel like I was in control of the situation. It worked well for us, but I was that annoying mother who couldn't do anything that clashed with the schedule. I probably would have woken him not far after 7am in the situation you describe, because I would have been a bit scared of what would have happened otherwise (DS1 was pretty easy on the routine, but hard to settle when overtired, not least because him being pretty easy meant I didn't develop the skills).

By the time DS2 came along, I knew I wasn't going to break him and there were places I needed to be with DS1, plus he was a velcro baby, so he pretty much the antithesis of a Gina baby.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 10-May-13 12:44:36

In reality you aim for a routine, but are flexible with it.

I love a routine personally, but it cannot be fixed to the minute every day.

In your scenario I would probably have woken him at 7:30am maybe, so a bit late, but not so late that it would 'mess up' the rest of the day. I would then have put him down for his morning sleep a little earlier as he would have been tired and maybe left him a bit longer. By lunchtime he should be back on track.

If you don't like a routine, don't have one though.

freddiefrog Fri 10-May-13 12:46:58

We did follow routines, but were quite relaxed with them and adapted/adjusted if we needed to.

If we were on holiday, for example, we'd let them drop off in a push chair then transfer them to bed if we wanted to eat out rather than tying ourselves to an apartment all evening. Or if we fancied a walk along the seafront on a nice evening we'd go and if they fell asleep in the push chair, then so be it. If we were having a takeaway at a friend's house they'd happily sleep in a carrycot

We have some friends with a 2 year old on a very strict routine, and when they stayed with us over the summer it was very restricting. We couldn't even walk down to the sea front for an icecream after tea as he had to be in the bath at 6:15pm, then in bed by 6:45pm. We couldn't leave the house until after lunch because he had to have a nap at a set time in his cot, followed by lunch at a set time. They won't go round to friends houses for a takeaway or something in the evening as their DS has to be in bed

I was never that tied to routines, and we were lucky that my girls would happily crash out anywhere, but did find having some structure helpful

Glittertwins Fri 10-May-13 12:48:24

We did our version of GF with the DTs but I never missed out on meet up times with friends as they used to nap quite happily where they were and I didn't put them in cots for a nap until about 5 months old. We did 7-7 as I was going back to work after 6 months and 7 would be when I would need to get up so it made sense to do that from the beginning. We were rigid on the 7pm bedtime for the first 18mths, holidays excepted, the sleeping pattern worked fine for all of us.

TheSecondComing Fri 10-May-13 12:49:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thurlow Fri 10-May-13 12:55:53

Routines never work with illness, you just have to throw the book out of the window at that point.

But I think the 'routines' that most people on MN advocate aren't actually strict GF-style routines, and the name almost puts people off. Most mums I know followed a rough 'get up about 7, have naps at about 10 and 3, have bottles ever 3 hours etc.' sort of routine, something that is really quite flexible.

In my experience, with a baby that thrived on a rough routine, it was about trying to pre-empt a lot of what she wanted. So milk was offered before she reached the point of starving hysteria (always happened, that baby didn't have a single hunger cue!), and sleep was offered around the time she was probably tired. Some young babies prefer having a structure to their day and, in effect, it being suggested to them what they might want to do.

Freddie calls it 'structure' and that is a better word for it than 'routine'. And honestly, I think most toddlers I know have a 'routine' for their day with nap times and meal times, so it's not that much of a stretch to introduce a similar structure to a young baby.

MamaMary Fri 10-May-13 12:57:28

I never followed a routine with either of my DDs. I fed (bfed) when hungry, put them down when tired.

DD1 slept through the night consistently at 3 months, DD2 from 4 months.

My 2 friends follow Gina Ford. Their toddler and one-year-old babies still don't sleep through. confused. Don't know why they persist with GF as it restricts their lives. They can only visit at precise times, have to leave gatherings early etc. I just couldn't be having that.

NotYoMomma Fri 10-May-13 12:57:41

I think routine is VERY important but I am v flexible.

Luckily dd came with a routine anyway so we went with it, but I'm a strong believer in consistent bed times, bed time routine, familiarity with when meals are (post weaning)

But every baby is different so I don't look badly on anyone who uses gf and strict routine or someone who does it more casual.

I am a bit aghast at the odd few who moan about no routine yet haven't put a plan of action in place or even have a consistent bed / bath time

ksrwr Fri 10-May-13 13:01:58

i would say trust your instinct, and do not listen to anyone else. every child is different, so routines work for some and not for others. but even a child in a strict routine wont always be hungry at "set" meal times, and wont always be tired at "set" sleep times. so there are always days, normally when they're a bit ill or uncomfortable when the routine means nothing at all. trust your instincts.

DinoSnores Fri 10-May-13 13:02:05

I roughly follow a GF routine. It is flexible and provides structure for our day. We can go places, do things, change it around. My routine is a servant, not my master. I felt it helpful and, either by nature or nurture, I have babies who seem to find it helpful too.

PoppyAmex Fri 10-May-13 13:02:45

We were 100% baby led and DD fell into her own routine very naturally so we just go with it.

The only aspect we try to be fairly consistent on is the evening bath/bedtime routine but I think she needs that.

Having said that, when life and teething gets in the way, we adapt.

Can't imagine us deliberately waking her up just because the schedule says so though, that sounds like crazy talk to me! grin

Piffpaffpoff Fri 10-May-13 13:08:21

I stuck to a GF routine most of the time as it worked for me and the DCs but once they were sleeping through at night, I would let them sleep longer in the morning if they were ill or had had a disturbed night. If they'd been up teething for a bit they got just up to an hour longer, but if they were ill they got to sleep til they woke up - I think DDs record was 6.30pm til 10.30am!

But, I am firmly of the view that you should do whatever works best for you. I am a self-confessed control freak who likes to know what's happening next, so the routine worked well for me. If you prefer a less structured approach, then do that. And just smile and nod at anyone telling you to do it 'their' way!

Fairylea Fri 10-May-13 13:17:48

I'm very routine ish but not really following anything in particular.

Both mine have slept through from 10 weeks. I put them in their own rooms from 6 weeks (and yes I know all about the sids stuff including them hearing you breathe to regulate their own breathing etc, we all make our own choices) and encouraged them to nap in their cot for their main daytime nap. I never allowed them to cry, I did a sort of put down / pickup routine.

I always woke at 7 regardless of the night before (mainly because having an older child I need everyone ready for school run!!)

I never let them sleep more than 3 hours tops in one go during the day, I'd always wake and offer a feed if they were tiny even so they drank most of their milk during the day.

And bedtime is always 6pm start... bath, bottle by the cot in the dark, down to sleep etc.

I can see others would find it restrictive ...Ds is 11 months now and still has a 2.5 hour nap from 12.30.. after lunch. So I tend to go out in the morning and make sure I'm home for his nap. If we do go on a day out then I make sure we have a few days home afterwards so I can get him back into routine.. he literally doesn't sleep anywhere but the cot in the dark!! (We went on a day out and he didn't sleepthe whole day!)

I would say DD was loosely a GF baby, but she naturally followed her own routine, and was already doing it before I read the book. It was just nice to know so I could plan ahead. If she'd had a bad night, I would have let her sleep in and routine be damned. I used the GF book like any other advice, with a pinch of salt.

If a routine works fo you both, like it did for me and DD, great. If it doesn't, also great, with added flexibility!

littleducks Fri 10-May-13 13:26:45

With my pfb I was very baby led but by the time ds came along I needed a routine, it's tricky to be baby and toddler led at the same time! As soon as I could I got them napping at the same time to begin with I napped too and later I would watch TV or do housework.

Dh was working away a lot so having a structure to the day meant we went out daily and things like feeding and bathing got done.

I'm due dc3 later in the yr and I think the baby will have to fit into a routine. Things like the school run are non negotiable and mean there will be times when I just can't bf.

Wrt to the wake up question, I wouldn't have needed to wake the baby at 7 as the toddler would have done that!! This baby I will have to wake even after a bad night to ensure it gets a feed before taking bigger ones to school.

Thurlow Fri 10-May-13 13:47:19

The thing is, if something works for you then it's almost impossible to imagine how something different might work. So if you and your baby are happy taking each day as it comes, or your baby just sleeps when it wants to, then you are probably going to picture a routine as very restrictive. We've never co-slept bar the odd few hours during a night when DD was very ill. I can't for the life of me imagine how co-sleeping works - where do you put the baby to bed? How do you stop wriggly toddlers falling out of the bed? Doesn't everyone just wake each other up? - but that doesn't mean it doesn't work brilliantly for some people.

BalloonSlayer Fri 10-May-13 13:53:56

I did GF with all mine. I adapted it for how I wanted to do things though. eg she says feed and put to bed at 7pm, then wake baby up for another feed at 10.30. Well for a start, 10.30 is past MY bedtime, and secondly the one time I tried that the baby really didn't want to be woken up and then the bugger wouldn't go back to sleep! So there was me sat there half an hour after I would have normally gone to bed with a moany bewildered VERY AWAKE baby wondering what the Fuck I had just gone and done, and with no one to blame but myself! So after that I used to let him wake me for the night feed when he wanted it and we were both happy.

After a night like you have had I wouldn't have woken baby at 7 - I'd have let them sleep in a bit.

Similarly - the lunchtime sleep, if they slept longer I wasn't going to be banging on the door waking them up.

Ways I obeyed the routine was 99% of the time making sure I was back home at lunchtime so they could sleep in their cot. So I would hardly ever go out for a shopping trip into town that went on for hours and resulted in them sleeping in their buggy. In fact, I looked upon a baby asleep in a buggy as a waste of a good sleep - they could be doing that at home while I relaxed!

The best bit was when I had the two of them and they both napped at the same time and I had 2 hours a day EVERY DAY to myself. Saved my sanity. Thanks, She Who Should Not Be Named. flowers

Ledkr Fri 10-May-13 14:01:39

I've always chuckled at routines for babies and rolled my eyes as friends rushed home for naps and food.
Then I had dc5 and have to stick very much to routine or she's horrendous.
They are all different. It's a tie but worth it.

HandMini Fri 10-May-13 14:03:25

I am a routine-loving Mum. I wanted an hour or so in the middle of the day and some time in the evening when I was having some peace.

One caveat to that though is that I encouraged both of mine to sleep in a variety of places - pram, cot, basket, lap, sofa, so that I could try and not miss out on day time things. It's a bit of a halfway house but works for us.

I think a really central part if Gina's routines is that you DO wake the baby at 7am (regardless of his/her nights sleep). Speaking of which, I need to go and wake DD2 from nap.

Kasterborous Fri 10-May-13 14:13:12

Our DD is now one and in a sort of routine but she sort of fell into it herself rather than our doing, but if she has days where it is not followed its fine. Its not strict times either she has her lunch when shes ready then a nap but it doesn't have to be twelve on the dot. Like last weekend we went to a party and she didn't have her afternoon nap, which wasn't an issue, yes she was tired and a bit grumpy by bedtime but it was worth it. Especially as she slept from 7pm until 9.15 the next morning! She has the odd night when she's up its strange its like she's tired but can't switch off, just like we get sometimes really.

lyndie Fri 10-May-13 14:24:32

I had a routine with DS and was convinced it made him happy and settled. Obviously subsequent DC we had to be much more relaxed about things though, especially now the older ones have activities etc. and the younger DC have survived! I do however think its lovely, and respectful to take a baby home for a nap though - if your child is fine napping in the buggy then that's ok, if you know your baby is more settled at home in their then why not? It's only for a short period of your life and if it prevents babies being overtired and grumpy then it can only be a good thing!

neunundneunzigluftballons Fri 10-May-13 14:45:59

I am not against or for routine for babies as such. My 2 older kids fell into their own natural rythmn and my little man needs to work around the school run and so has a loose routine based around that. He never normally sleeps in a cot during the day as he naps on the walks to and from school.

A group of 5 women met up when we had smallies. 2 of them observed strict routines and the rest of us were much more casual. To be honest the ones who were most strict ended up punishing themselves more than necessary imho. They left every coffee morning, evening social or anything any of us organised early as the little ones had to have a meal or a nap or a whatever. I could never see how the payback could have made up for all the rushing to and fro that they did especially as neither of them had children who slept anyway. Even if they did sleep I would still find missing out on the social inteaction (mother's social interaction not babies) would not be worth it. In my case most days would follow a similar pattern for food and sleeps but if we got the chance we would hang out late in grannys or in pals houses and the kids would drop off in the buggy on the way home or go with whatever flow we had on that particular day. I agree with the other poster who said flexibility is the key to routine oh and I think GF iis totally unrealistic. Before I had children mine 'theoretical offspring' would have behaved exactly like they do in Gina's book.

DumSpiroSpero Fri 10-May-13 14:54:46

The backdrop to this is that various friends are telling me I should have him on a more strict routine

Tell them to mind their own bloody business then revel in smugness when you have a laid back sociable toddler and theirs are having a meltdown if lunch is 0.0328 seconds late grin.

Seriously, what works for you, works for you. For some people that's GF, for some it's baby wearing, co-sleeping go-with-the-flow, and for most of us, I suspect it's somewhere in between.

No further advice re routines from me, because as you can probably tell, we've never had one!

ppeatfruit Fri 10-May-13 15:51:18

I 've not read GF but you are supposed to wake a baby that's been up most of the night with teething or a temp.? That's cruel IMO To the mum and the baby BTW ! You'd have a very miserable baby to put up with until it's 'time' to put him or her down for a nap wouldn't you? eff that for a game of soldiers!

Thurlow Fri 10-May-13 15:56:04

Normal rules tend to go out of the window when babies are ill - but I did sometimes have to wake DD from sleeping. If she slept too long in the afternoon she wouldn't sleep at night, and then she'd wake up late the next day, and nap late, and before you knew it everything would be out of the window. And this baby got very grumpy if she didn't get a good enough night's sleep!

Also, personally I was always happier if DD was going to bed around 8ish in the evening because I was often on my own at night and needed an hour or two to myself for my own sanity. So I'll admit I did sometimes wake her to try and keep her standard 8-8 roughly going.

ppeatfruit Fri 10-May-13 16:01:13

I agree about the afternoon nap Thurlow esp. when they get older, but in the morning if there's nothing to get up for and they've been teething its unreasonable to wake them up for some arbitrary routine.

Thurlow Fri 10-May-13 16:06:19

Not unreasonable, as each baby is different. I've only had one DC and no doubt any future ones will be completely different, but if DD didn't get up at roughly the same time in the morning, and nap at roughly the same time through the day, then the night would go wrong too. In the OP's case I might have stirred the baby at about 8.

Blueskiesandbuttercups Fri 10-May-13 16:07:43

I did Gina with my 3, fan bloody tastic however your times look very similar and with teething/illness all normality goes out of the window Gina or not.

Thurlow Fri 10-May-13 16:10:18

Pressed post too soon! Actually no I wouldn't have, just saw how little sleep the OP's baby actually had, poor thing.

Brices Fri 10-May-13 16:23:09

I always wake mine up at set times. The HV asked me what happens when you don't wake them? How pathetic I have never even thought about letting them sleep in (1 and 2 years) as I think they might wake up in the night. I think I'm Gina indoctrinated grin

Thurlow Fri 10-May-13 16:32:08

Brices, you're right, I think there is an absolute terror there of what might happen if you deviate too much from the average sleep times!

BalloonSlayer Fri 10-May-13 16:48:42

TBH there is waking up and waking up.

There is going into a room wherein a baby or toddler is sleeping, opening the curtains and tidying stuff while cooing in a peaceful voice "Hellooo poppet, are you waking up? Aaah! " as they blearily come to consciousness and smile dreamily and lovingly at you.

And there is the going into a room wherein a [usually older] DC slumbers, opening the curtains and tidying stuff while speaking gently to them, then speaking more loudly to them, then saying sternly "Oi! It's 7 o'clock," then pulling the duvet off, and leaving the room, returning 10 minutes later to find the duvet back on and the DC snoring again oblivious, wrenching off duvet in a temper snarling "Get. Bloody. Up. I am NOT driving you AGAIN." Repeat.

If my baby was as sleepy as the 2nd scenario (which my 12 year old eldest usually is now! ) I would not wake them, I would let them sleep in. But when the routines work properly, you go in to wake them and they are nearly awake anyway, so it's not like you are being unkind.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 10-May-13 16:53:29

I'm firmly in the camp of 'never wake a sleeping baby'. Why on earth you'd wake a baby at 7am every day is beyond me. My DS wakes when he wakes.

LimitedEditionLady Fri 10-May-13 18:26:40

Oh no i never woke him as a baby,i do now hes older

MiaowTheCat Fri 10-May-13 19:16:26

Mine get woken up - necessity... need to be up and out of the house to drop DH at work!

littleducks Fri 10-May-13 19:39:53

Exactly miaow, only my first baby when I was on maternity leave didn't need to be awake for the day. After that there was a family 'routine' that needed observing

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 10-May-13 19:42:53

Well yes we wake DS for nursery. Other than that no I don't wake him, I figure he needs to sleep and I'll have a grumpy DS on my hands otherwise.

stopmovingthefurniture Fri 10-May-13 21:20:14

I woke DD from the word go and don't regret it, found she needed to feed that early in order to feed well in the mid morning feed.

Sleeping-wise it was like dominoes. If she slept into the morning she then didn't sleep properly at lunch time which meant she'd be cranky late afternoon and I wouldn't be able to keep her awake till bedtime which meant she wouldn't go to bed at bedtime which meant I would have no evening and be up during the night. I preferred to get her up and start the day right. Would not have bothered otherwise.

stealthsquiggle Fri 10-May-13 22:21:26

I seem to spend half my life dragging my DC (10 & 6) out of bed, and treasure days when I don't have to, so I now regard those halcyon days of leaving PFB to sleep with a certain amount of nostalgia.

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