To have laughed at my friend who said that I should be able to get all of my housework done on a Friday morning when I'm off?

(119 Posts)
doublecakeplease Thu 09-May-13 22:50:43

I teach in FE, 4 days per week. 1 hour commute each way. DH works in a similar job, similar commute. We're out of the house from 7.15 am to 6pm every day and both of us often have prep to do once DS is in bed.

Ds is 16 months - he's at nursery / grandparents when i work so is out of the house for 4 long days.

I was jealously admiring my friends' beautifully tidy 1 bed flat and bemoaning my shit hole of a house. DH pulls his weight (if i remind him!) but home often looks very lived in. We're also doing up our manky old house so it is getting lots better as we build rooms around our needs!

Anyway - friend reckons i should be able to get everything done on a Friday morning whilst DS sits in his highchair and watches nicely. Apparently this would save DH from having to muck in, give me loads of time for our myself and my house would be immaculate!

Was i unreasonable o laugh?? ;-)

redexpat Thu 09-May-13 22:52:33

grin and snorts!

Euphemia Thu 09-May-13 22:54:04

Laughter was the kindest response!

CointreauVersial Thu 09-May-13 22:54:08

If you didn't have DS, then maybe........

.....meanwhile, back in the real world.......

amistillsexy Thu 09-May-13 22:54:13

Ha. Ha. Ha.

I'd be asking her to come round and show you how it's done. You can sit with a notebook and a cup of tea and make notes while she cracks on.

Ha ha ha ha ha << laughs self off thread>>

There is one possible way.... A friend of my swore by a website called 'flylady'

she basically does tidying as she goes along, which means, technically, come friday morning you have been such a domestic 'time and motion' goddess that you only have a bit of stuff left to do. I try to keep up with it, but it's relentless. I then live by the 'in a hundred years who's gonna care' method of housekeeping grin

thebody Thu 09-May-13 22:58:37

Just wait until she sprogs and then sit back and enjoy.

doublecakeplease Thu 09-May-13 22:59:03

Trash - she reckons if i do everything properly on Friday i won't need to do anything during the week except dishes...

Xmasbaby11 Thu 09-May-13 23:01:51

Or maybe you could just enjoy a day free of work to spend with your baby!

Xmasbaby11 Thu 09-May-13 23:02:56

Even if you did housework all day and ignore your baby, the house would be wrecked just in time for the weekend!

grin. A toddler which observes nicely in their high chair.... Do you have to wear your kath kidston dress and use floral dusters as well?

chuckles to self

MrsRoss26 Thu 09-May-13 23:03:48

Your friend lives in cloud cuckoo land grin I sometimes have a blizzard style clean, but that doesn't cover everything and deep house cleaning takes far longer. As others have said, get her to clean a whole house then think again before commenting!

Icantstopeatinglol Thu 09-May-13 23:03:58

I wish! I could do my house on a Friday morning perfectly but come Saturday once dh and dc have made themselves comfortable it looks like someone has come along, picked my house up, shook it like a snow globe and placed it back down happily! Dh and dc none the wiser....I however have a number of new grey hairs lol! smile)
Nice theory tho!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha snort.

Seriously. That's bloody funny.

dontlaugh Thu 09-May-13 23:06:34

And what will your dh be doing whilst you clean the house?
Is a cleaner a possibility? Even once a fortnight?

doublecakeplease Thu 09-May-13 23:10:39

Dontlaugh - I'm not bashing DH. He works on fridays whilst I'm off which is when she suggested i Hoover, clean, change beds etc.

A cleaner isn't possible at the moment.

Fecklessdizzy Thu 09-May-13 23:13:05

Mad as a box of frogs ... It takes me a whole morning just to tidy up to a point where the cleaner can get at the floor!

YANBU - I'd go with ami's suggestion personally. We have a v.good cleaner once a week, and small child is out of the house three/four days a week and I still spend at least an hour a day tidying/cleaning up the various surfaces round the place (in a very small house) - how she thinks that only one morning and daily dish-washing would be required...[wanders off shaking head]

ShadowStorm Thu 09-May-13 23:16:39


I just can't imagine a toddler who'd be content to sit in a high chair and happily watch someone cleaning all morning. And who'd then not untidy the house the moment he was released grin

chattychattyboomba Thu 09-May-13 23:16:44

Is she for real? I don't work and i clean every day... Every single freaking day. If i don't put at least 1 load of washing on each day the baskets overflow. We have dogs so that means vacuuming every day too.
DD is two so i have to do everything without neglecting her which means involving her- it's a very, very slow process.

Altinkum Thu 09-May-13 23:17:37

It depends what you do with your time, me and dh work 6 days a week, and it so happens I do the housework on a Friday, beds, Hoover, Mop etc.... I bleach the loos everyday.

I also have a ds2 whose 3 at home all day Friday. You would dont all if you wanted it to be done.

doublecakeplease Thu 09-May-13 23:20:55

Chatty - i know what you mean. DS wants to follow me everywhere - so hoovering with him hanging off my leg, loading the washer whilst wrestling him out of it... Makes doing much impossible and more importantly why would i want to? I barely see DS during the week - i want to play with him and take him out on fridays!

doublecakeplease Thu 09-May-13 23:23:55

Altink - but apparently you shouldn't need to do stuff every day. Only on fridays!

This isn't a tip search thread - i was just telling you all about my friends' comment because i thought it was funny!

amazingface Thu 09-May-13 23:25:04

Ha ha ha!

I actually feel depressed though. DD was born in January 2012 and my house has not been truly clean since then. Not even for a day sad

Monty27 Thu 09-May-13 23:25:05

OP I like the idea of you're friend coming round to show you how it's done while you sit there taking notes. Priceless.

Primrose123 Thu 09-May-13 23:26:16

I actually used to do this. I worked Monday to Thursday from 8 until 4.30, and Friday from 7 until 1. I would come home on Friday and clean the house and do all the washing. However, we had a very small house and no children.

Once you have children I would say it would be impossible!

amazingface Thu 09-May-13 23:27:04

On the other hand, DD does seem to have a bionic immune system, so the germs can't be all bad.

Mannequinkate Thu 09-May-13 23:27:43

You can definitely do it in s morning with a toddler in tow. You have to move fast and get them involved. Completely doable, you are making it into more than it is.

If you really can't do it you have too much stuff and need to get rid of done clutter.

doublecakeplease Thu 09-May-13 23:29:24

Mann - i DON'T WANT TO! I want to go to the park and play with my boy.

FreyaSnow Thu 09-May-13 23:30:50

I couldn't even get all my washing and ironing done in one morning, never mind clean a whole house.

noisytoys Thu 09-May-13 23:31:13

I can tidy my whole flat top to bottom in about an hour with 2 DCs but we don't own much (less than 7 outfits each, 3 toy boxes between 2 DCs, no ornaments or 'stuff' etc).

I agree though go to the park and have fun smile

dontlaugh Thu 09-May-13 23:32:30

I'm not bashing your dh either, I know what it's like with 2 working parents. I suppose I idly wonder to myself when these threads pop up if the men in question ever get asked by their friends how do they get all the cleaning done. It's just one of my ishoos!

Snazzynewyear Thu 09-May-13 23:33:13

I think your time would be better spent enjoying being able to focus on your DS on Fridays, and I'd tell your friend that.

One thing from Flylady (as mentioned above by trashcanjunkie) that might help you though is her point that you can do a lot more in 15 mins than you think. I appreciate you and your DH both have prep still in the evenings when you get home, but could you both spend 15 mins before bed every night just doing what you can? It may not get you the immaculate house your friend advocates but it would be something.

RhondaJean Thu 09-May-13 23:34:25

IF I lived alone - in a very tiny flat...nah who am I kidding, it would still be a tip.

But yknow, WHO CARES, in thirty years are my kids going to remember that my house was immaculate, or will they remember the meals we cooked, the places we went, the books we read,the things we made?

quoteunquote Thu 09-May-13 23:35:44

I actually feel depressed though. DD was born in January 2012 and my house has not been truly clean since then. Not even for a day

Let it go, I had my first in 1990, the only time my whole space has been perfect since then is on the rare occasion the entire family is away, and I have made sure before they have left, they have done "everything",

Then i have a massive clean up as they go, and it remains perfect for the entire time they are gone, I wander around astonished that the house doesn't magically untidy itself, and no mountains of washing develop every time you walk upstairs.

i dont have any dc's and even i would have laughed in her face grin

i also dont work and i clean every blooming day... even dh has daily jobs to do and he works full time i have him well trained grin

Mannequinkate Thu 09-May-13 23:48:42

cake your op suggests it isn't doable which isn't the same as not wanting to. If you would rather do something else fine it is your life and your home.

All I am saying is that it is perfectly possible to clean the whole house in one morning. It also doesn't have to be a huge chore or unbearable for your toddler. If you wanted to do it you could and you could make it fun for your ds.
Do yes YABU to laugh at your friend and also to be jealous of her home when you don't have the desire to keep yours the same way.

amazingface Thu 09-May-13 23:51:53

Definitely would not be possible to clean my whole house in one morning.


I accept we probably have too much stuff.

But definitely not possible.

VenusRising Fri 10-May-13 00:01:06

Get a cleaner for two hours, that way you can also sit in a high chair and look on quietly. Maybe have some hummus and carrot sticks to keep your energy up grin

I take it that your friend doesn't have kids yet!

And what is she thinking of that you should do the main bulk of it so your DH won't have to do as much..... That's just crazy talk!

(Btw don't tell your friend you got a cleaner!)

I'm living in two heads with this one... on the one hand, it's fucking awesome to know that when I've finished work for the week that the house is sorted for Saturday morning. On the other hand, I just can't maintain this all the time, and I shouldn't bloody have to. I do like FlyLady though. Snazzy shall we start an appreciation society? doublecake you could be our equal opportunities member......

oh and for what it's worth, your friend is being unreasonable.... It's not her job to minimise your grind!

FlyLady Just for shits and giggles grin

FreyaSnow Fri 10-May-13 00:16:35

It is not possible to clean a whole house in one morning. There are lots of threads on this. Every time it turns out that 'cleaning a house' doesn't include washing clothes, ironing, putting clothes away, washing up, drying up, putting dishes away, sorting recycling, tidying away toys, school books and on and on...

The average woman spends 18 hours a week on housework. I do 16 hours a week and my house is dirty as a consequence. You cannot clean a house in one morning.

bamboobutton Fri 10-May-13 00:32:46

You need to send her to this blog crappy pictures

ComposHat Fri 10-May-13 00:40:56

I say fuck the cleaning and luxuriate in your own filth.

Tidy house = wasted life.

mum11970 Fri 10-May-13 00:51:08

If you're out for 11 hours a day with one toddler then a good blitz on a Friday and both tidying away as you go it should be possible (dependant on size of house and how messy you or dh are). Once kids get older and start leaving mess everywhere it's more of a difficult job. I've got a 15, 12 and 8 yr old and it's an on going job to keep on top of the mess they can create in 2 mins, won't mention our 4 dogs and a dh who does have a tendency to drop shoes and leave plates as he goes, but as he works a min of 12 hours a day I (occasionally) let it go.

pofacedlemonsucker Fri 10-May-13 00:52:37

Trash, there are flying threads already on mn by the gazillion. No need to set up your own society, just hop on over and join one of the threads. They've been going for years.

It is of course entirely possible to clean your house in 3-4 hours of a morning, especially if for four whole days all day every day there is noone messing it up. And if there's only one wee tot to make laundry.

I wouldn't do it because I am extremely lazy and can't be arsed. To say it's impossible is nonsense. And I live in a 2 bed flat with five of us and two giant shedding Labradors, enough stuff to fill a 5 bed house, a 3 bed house, and a 2 bed flat (I know this because that's the houses we emptied to move here).

It's still theoretically possible, just not with my lack of interest. grin

mum11970 Fri 10-May-13 00:55:29

Also depends on your level of clean. I'm happy with not dirty; my sister goes for immaculate, if not almost sterile, and that takes her a lot more time.

pofacedlemonsucker Fri 10-May-13 01:04:37

I'm not entirely sure I could manage immaculate, even given a week with no interruptions, tbh.

mum11970 Fri 10-May-13 01:13:02

I couldn't do immaculate with a week, 4 dogs in kennels, 3 kids in boarding school and my dh sleeping in work but we are certainly don't live in filth.

mum11970 Fri 10-May-13 01:18:16

All my kids, dh and dogs do live at home full time (just in case that came across that I was a really lazy cow).

Livinglavidafoca Fri 10-May-13 01:20:25

ha ha ha, 'sitting and watching nicely from his highchair'... she has no idea...

doublecakeplease Fri 10-May-13 07:01:19

Oh how i wish I'd put (lighthearted) after my title...

I just fancied a little laugh at her naivety.

Hi fives to all you fellow funny people. Some of you need to get out a bit more though.

appletarts Fri 10-May-13 07:15:06

I clean the whole house every friday morning while toddler 1 is at nursery while toddler 2 plays, I put him in his cot to play with toys for 20min at the end when I do the hoovering. At the end of every day we tidy up and do one job, bleach sink or change beds. I agree with your friend I'm afraid. I think with one toddler this is possible, I do it. I'm sure it'd be nicer for you as a family to do fun things on weekend rather than clean house.Or get a cleaner for a couple of hours in the week.

auntpetunia Fri 10-May-13 07:36:07

Assume friend has no kids! Mental.

doublecakeplease Fri 10-May-13 07:42:23

No kids aunt...

My house isnt a hovel, i wouldn't be ashamed if someone called round but i DON'T want to spend my one morning on my own with DS cleaning. I take my hat off to the women on here who do everything necessary to run a house in half a day but i DON'T aspire to be them.

Well it would be possible. You could strap DS into his high chair (and ignore him entirely), blitz the whole house, then seal it up. Of course, you'll all have to sleep in the kitchen, but that's the only way I can see you keeping it clean all week by only doing the dishes.

HTH grin

ParadiseChick Fri 10-May-13 08:00:32

It's really not rocket science. How bad does your house need to be when an hour or so won't sort it out!

Does your dc nap?

I work full time, home early on a Friday and have lunch with the boys then put some tunes on and have a mad hour straightening up and that's it for the weekend.

I do something everyday though. I think it would be a nightmare not to and I don't understand people who don't! I'm talking 15 minutes in the morning, same after dinner, a load of washing a day and that's it!

doublecakeplease Fri 10-May-13 08:06:38

Paradise - this wasn't meant to be a thread about organising my cleaning regime, there are loads of them. I read them and do some of the stuff on them. i was simply telling you all about something my childless, minimalist, immaculate housed friend said about doing EVERYTHING NECESSARY on a Friday morning then needing to do NOTHING for the rest of the week.

doublecakeplease Fri 10-May-13 08:08:55

And yes - he naps but sometimes i like to sit and let him nap on my knee (like he is doing now)

It's indulgent and probably not viewed as good parenting by some but i LOVE it. It's my treat

cathpip Fri 10-May-13 08:18:03

I have a 2 young dc's and 2 dogs, and I don't work, I clean every day and there is still no chance of my house ever being immaculate, clean possibly but then there will be some who would disagree. Am surprised you only laughed at hersmile

Altinkum Fri 10-May-13 08:41:29

Ah I see OP yes she's a twunt, I read it incorrect.

I have a friend like this. She and her DH have a massive house, both work full time and their DS is 2. YET her house is immaculate. All. The. Time. Without a cleaner.

I have no idea how the fuck she does it. On my day off with DD we seem to play a game called 'who can make the most mess in under 10 mins'. I'd rather play than clean. I am a slattern and proud grin (But still a little bit jealous of aforementioned friend. Not jealous enough to get off my arse and clean however.)

RubyGates Fri 10-May-13 08:48:34

Sorry, just ha!


I mean really - JUST washing up the other days? No laundry, no vacuuming, no wiping surfaces, no chipping weetabix off high chairs, no sweeping floors?!

She is mad.

SinisterBuggyMonth Fri 10-May-13 08:59:04


What a nob!

SinisterBuggyMonth Fri 10-May-13 09:00:16







FruOla Fri 10-May-13 09:08:56

YADNBU to have laughed at her grin

Next time she says it, reply "well, at least I won't die with a Hoover in my hand" wink

Lamazeroo Fri 10-May-13 09:09:30

I don't work during the week, I 'only' have one child, I live in a small flat and I don't do any housework. Of course we sort of keep on top of washing, dishes, mopping up any spills, but I fucking hate housework and am happy to live in a tip while my DS and I read books together, have cuddles on the couch, spend entire days in the park, go to playgroups etc. His childhood and my sanity are far more important to me than living in a tidy flat. I do have the most wonderful cleaner who comes once a week and miraculously makes everything clean and tidy. She's only £9 an hour and does sooooo much in two hours. Surely most working families could spare £18 a week? I would gladly eat out less or stop buying a daily coffee or whatever to have a cleaner.

florilegia Fri 10-May-13 09:18:20

Also loving the idea of the toddler sitting peacefully in the high-chair, watching what's going on! Even in his most helpful moods (and sometimes he really does try to help, bless him), DS tends to empty the washing basket, tread all over the clothes while pretending to hang them out to dry, and then runs off with the peg bag. When he's not in a helpful mood, we have no chance!

nokidshere Fri 10-May-13 09:21:20

I have Fridays off - well 6 hours! I do nothing. Its my day off!

any essential housework should be done on working days in small chunks thus enabling the life of riley on Fridays grin

Scholes34 Fri 10-May-13 09:23:51

No point wasting your Friday morning on housework, as you'll only have to do it again the following Friday.

Lamazeroo Fri 10-May-13 09:26:27

Scholes34 I like your style!

mrsjay Fri 10-May-13 09:26:50

I actually feel depressed though. DD was born in January 2012 and my house has not been truly clean since then. Not even for a day

DDs were born in 1993 and 1998 <shrug> grin people who obsess about their housework bore me to tears , and your friend has a 1 bed flat the silly moo if she is so great get her to come round wink

Scholes34 Fri 10-May-13 09:31:48

Pre-DC, my two bed flat was always about an hour away from being clean and tidy. Now my four bed house is very "lived in".

When my parents were coming to visit once, I told my DM "you know how when someone is coming to visit and you rush around cleaning and tidying and pretending that your house is always that clean? - well I haven't this time!" Haven't looked back since.

Geckoandthemonkey Fri 10-May-13 09:38:27

YANBU. It's your one & only opportunity to have your dc to yourself for a few hours.
It's amazing how childless friends/family seem to understand the stamina it takes to look after a toddler, run a house & in your case work full time.

BlueberryHill Fri 10-May-13 09:40:07

When / If she has children, you are going to remind her aren't you?

doublecakeplease Fri 10-May-13 09:48:34

Of course i will blueberry! ;-) I'm not saying i do nothing on fridays (although DS is feeling very cooperative this morning so I've done more than usual. So far I've
Wiped the snot from the window from when he waved DH of
Stripped our bed
Tidied round the lounge quickly
Sat and watched DS sleep on my lap for 20 minutes

BUT mainly we've played, chased and hidden stuff!

DS is back to sleep in his buggy and I'm eating toast!

LadyInDisguise Fri 10-May-13 09:54:03

doublecake enjoy your son as he is little (or you might end up regretting spending so much time cleaning when he is a teenager and you hardly see him anymore).

And laugh at your friend!!

She has no idea....

Oh btw, I have always always considered that tidying up was our responsibility between me and DH.
When I was at home looking after the dcs, looking after them, playing with them going out etc... was my responsibility. NOT doing the HW. So I played, took them to the park and had a cup of tea (my break time that you normally have at work) when they were sleeping.
HW just fitted when I could/could be bothered.

Booyhoo Fri 10-May-13 10:30:30

I think if you're starting point is a well organised decluttered and generally clean house then with no-one in the house all day mon - thurs you really would be able to get it done on a friday morning. The funny bit is that she suggested the toddler would sit nicely and watch! grin No way!!

But cleaning it in a morning? Yes. I used to do it when i was on my own with ds1 and working full time. Dishes done and wash out in the morning. Wash brought in and tumbled when i came in at 6. Dinner and dishes in evening. I ironed while watching my soaps wash on before i went to bed to go out in morning. And i dusted and hoovered/ mopped on a saturday morning or friday evening if i was having people in. It really didnt take long at all. Maybe an hour? Bathrooms were done everyday as i was using them. Bleach down loo every night.

doublecakeplease Fri 10-May-13 10:32:59

Boo - I'm NOT after tips - there are plenty of threads for that! Argh!

amazingface Fri 10-May-13 10:33:53

Lamazoo I actually think you're right - most families unless very very skint could find the money for a cleaner once a week/fortnight by giving something up. Certainly, we could all it would involve would be banning DP from doing the grocery shop he is terrible at doing an efficient shop and needs to buy something from every aisle

So why don't I have a cleaner? Guilt issues. I only have one DC too, and work from home a lot, so I feel like I should be able to get more done. I keep things ticking over, sort of, but a deep clean? No frickin way. I dunno. I think cleaners should be assigned antenatally to pregnant women, along with midwives...Now that'd be an interesting MN campaign grin

AmberSocks Fri 10-May-13 10:40:37

why would you want to spend your one morning off cleaning?shes mad.if i were you i would do the bare minimum and relax and enjoy being with your ds.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Fri 10-May-13 10:40:56

"Well at least I wont die with a hoover in my hand"

Right that is it. Yiu have inspired me. Despite the fact I spend ages stresing about housework the house is never clean. People say you wont look back on your deathbed and say you wish youd spent more time in the office. Not sure about that. Tbh as I love my job. However I will not look back on my deathbed and wish id spent more time hoobering cobwebs. So I am going to make an effort to do short bursts of actual cleanjng (instead of procrastinating on mn) im going to accept that even if dh doesnt do stuff to my standadds he does do stuff and then I am going to guilt free spend time on myself doing stuff I want to do. Playing with children. Park. Reading my book. Sitting and staring vacantly inti space. Im going to lamjnate fruolas phrase above and stick it on the fridge.

Booyhoo Fri 10-May-13 10:41:31

So? Im not givjng you tips. Im saying what i did. Chill.

FruOla Fri 10-May-13 10:52:08

thanks Stealth grin

decaffwithcream Fri 10-May-13 11:01:22

YABU OP - Have you not seen that nursery- tidying scene in Mary Poppins? I simply click my fingers and the washing machine and dishwasher load themselves, everything returns to its correct place and the mop and cloths zoom around (rather like in Fantasia) and the beds make themselves. I do this despite working fulltime hours down a mine and caring for the 7 little men that share my house

Can you not click your fingers OP?

KitCat26 Fri 10-May-13 11:31:46

Aha ha ha ha ha. Enjoy your day off with your lo.

DH sometimes has delusions of what housework can be done (and stay done) with a 2 and 3 year old in tow. One day when he isn't at work so blooming much he will learn.

jacks365 Fri 10-May-13 11:43:31

I have a self cleaning family room. Dd4 spends all day messing it up but when i take her to bed it miraculously tidies itself, no way could it be the two teens lounging on the sofa grin.

I'm sorry but we're a household of 5 and laundry is at least 8 loads a week so no way could i get that done on a Friday morning. My house is half and half, most rooms are spotless all the mess is in the family room and guests never go in there so it gets a tidy up and hoover at night.

I couldn't keep a straight face if someone said that to me.

Cat98 Fri 10-May-13 11:55:03

Op your friend is talking rubbish! Smile and ignore.

Wrt the rest of the thread - I'm on the fence. In definitely in the camp of enjoy your children, they're only young once, playing with them is more important than housework etc BUT .. From a personal point of view, if the house is a state, it really gets me down. So for me it's about finding a happy medium - not obsessing, prioritising the DCs, but taking a few mins here and there to get things organised and clean -ish. My standards aren't that high though and I very rarely - if ever - do this 'deep clean' people speak of! My standard weekly/fortnightly clean is more like fly lady's 'crisis clean'!

boschy Fri 10-May-13 12:00:25

slattern alert here. I have 2 teenagers, 1 DH, 3 cats and a dog. A huuuuge house (not to brag, but to explain...). House is also in need of major renovation in most rooms. We have spiders you wouldnt believe, and we live by the sea so everytime a window or door is open sand blows in. I have a cleaner for 2 hours once a week. I work from home. I load and unload the dishwasher, washing machine and tumble dryer whenever required, and occasionally wipe down kitchen surfaces and chuck a bit of bleach down the loos. Otherwise that's pretty much it!! OK, I could do more, like hoover between my lovely cleaner's visits, but I really cant see the point in housework, no one ever notices do they?

So I'm on your side OP!

handcream Fri 10-May-13 12:01:29

Please dont hit me but....

I have a large 4 bed house. We used to have a cleaner twice a week. They were so unreliable I decided to do myself and save the money in a 'holiday fund'. Its been like this for 8 years now!

I can do loads in 4 hours and am a real expert but I have a couple of rules:

1. If you arent a tidy person then 4 hours just wont make a dent.

2. Only do the cleaning when NO ONE is around.

3. Have two hoovers - a cheap one for upstairs and a more robust one for downstairs.

4. Have a set of cleaning stuff upstairs

5. Open the windows as much as you can to let everything dry.

6. Have at least 2 laundry baskets

7. When children are older show them how to change a duvet and pillow. My DS's are experts. They hate doing but its one less thing to do

8. Dont horde things. Once they are not needed - bin it!

9. Use wipes if you run out of time especailly in the bathroom. Look at Sainsburys and Asda Floor Wipes. They are really good and you can use them with spray if

Iggi101 Fri 10-May-13 12:05:55

Your friend is overlooking the fact that, once tidy, no-one else comes in and messes up her work - the tidiest flats have no-one in them! (especially no men and no children).
She sounds like a gem, ask her for some advice about parenting, go on.

handcream Fri 10-May-13 12:09:09

I also get everyone to clean up the family room and living room before we go to bed. Involves plumping up cushions and removing any plates and other stuff lying around. Takes about 5 mins. I hate coming down to a trashed room.

5Foot5 Fri 10-May-13 12:12:20

A cleaner isn't possible at the moment.


I went back to work 4 days a week when DD was 9 months old and I got a cleaner then specifically because I didn't want to spend my precious Friday off doing housework but spending time with DD instead.

And YANBU to laugh. Your friend knows nothing... grin

BeCool Fri 10-May-13 12:15:25

I don't know about 16mo sitting in high chair all morning, but I live in a one bed flat and if I tidy as I go during the week (which I endeavour to do and I'm mostly successful with) I could get all housework done in 4 hours (and I'm no expert at housework). But not deep cleaning - ie I would clean bath, basin, tiles, toilet and floor & polish mirrors, but not pull everything out of bathroom and do every surface.

I work 5 days though - so my whizz around doing housework will happen tonight when DD's are in bed, so everything is as sorted as possible for the weekend. Of course I need to change bedding the morning or before bedtime.

But that is a FLAT like your friend - a house would be bigger and different.

LaGuardia Fri 10-May-13 12:32:38

Well, we work, have two kids but don't live in a shithole. You tidy as you go along. Don't let things build up all week. Instead of sitting in front of the tv every night, I do stuff. When the kids are in bed, get cracking. Or stop moaning.

handcream Fri 10-May-13 12:42:19

I must admit I do a bit every day and dont allow it to build up. I am not a hoarder either.

StrangeGlue Fri 10-May-13 12:45:18

Ha ha ha ha ha! Well done for not accidentally on purpose knocking your tea over.

CaurnieBred Fri 10-May-13 12:49:37

And that is when I got a cleaner (as we were lucky enough to be able to afford it). I found as DD got older she needed more input from me rather than less and wasn't happy to be sat in a corner whilst I tried to get on with housework - and I wasn't working part time because I wanted to spend my non-work time cleaning: I wanted to spend that time with DD. When DH was given the choice of cleaner or do more himself he chose cleaner (thankfully!).

Childless people really have no idea of the work involved with small children.

However, having a cleaner has kept me/us tidier so that the house is in a state to be cleaned.

hokeycakey Fri 10-May-13 12:54:23

But handcream you can't do anything with NOONE around if you have preschoolers which op does I have a 5, 3 & 1 year old and there is never a time when I don't have a kid to look after also it's VERY hard to engage an under 2 in cleaning as so many others have suggested whilst I am going something else 15 month old dd has put all the clean washing down the toilet or opened dd's drawers and pulled all the clothes out or emptied pasta all over the floor etc

Life with preschoolers is very different IMO and you can clean better when they're older

hokeycakey Fri 10-May-13 12:55:08

So op YANBU!

Crinkle77 Fri 10-May-13 12:56:26

I assume she does not have children if she only lives in a 1 bedroom flat? You can do all your housework in a morning if you are only tidying up after yourself and have a small flat. You would only be able to get the superficial stuff done like washing, hoovering, dusting etc... in half a day. You would need longer to do any deeper cleaning

BeCool Fri 10-May-13 12:58:36

Don't assume that Crinkle - I have 2 DC in one bed flat.

RenterNomad Fri 10-May-13 13:11:44

I never tell people if I've tidied, as I want them to think that is "messy".

RenterNomad Fri 10-May-13 13:14:05

P.S. FruOla, I read your remark as "died with a Hoover in their hair," and my flesh was creeping at the idea of being brought down and then scalped by the Octopus/Anteater Household Monster!

doublecakeplease Fri 10-May-13 13:19:17

Laguard - i wouldn't say i was moaning. Its a fairly lighthearted thread. I have explained that my house isn't a hovel (its a work in progress so...) its just normal housework she's advocating doing.

FruOla Fri 10-May-13 15:19:03

FruOla Fri 10-May-13 09:08:56
Next time she says it, reply "well, at least I won't die with a Hoover in my hand"

I wish I had been clever enough to think of that myself wink

That comment came from a good friend of mine, who had an ... erm ... rather relaxed attitude to housework (as do I blush!). She told it to me, with much grin grin, after her ILs had stayed with them for a few days.

Apparently her FIL (yes, you've got that right - her FIL, not her MIL) glanced around the sitting room and said "well, <DILname>, you'll never die with a Hoover in your hands, will you?"


KitchenandJumble Fri 10-May-13 15:26:50

I actually do think it would be possible to clean the house in one morning, though I doubt a 16-month-old child would sit quietly in the highchair while it happened. It depends on the size of the house, of course. We have a 3-bedroom house and I find that if we keep on top of the little things daily it is much easier to keep everything clean.

Did someone say that the average woman spends 18 hours a week on housework? I can't imagine putting that much time into cleaning. I work full time, 18 hours would be more than two additional days of work. My house is always clean. Not always perfect but certainly clean and tidy.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 10-May-13 15:58:10

'this would save DH from having to muck in'. Why shouldn't he have to muck in? hmm You muck in, after all.

'It's really not rocket science. How bad does your house need to be when an hour or so won't sort it out!' Rude.

'I agree with your friend I'm afraid. I think with one toddler this is possible, I do it.' Smug.

OP, enjoy playing and napping with your child and sod the housework and sod your so-called friend too

ParadiseChick Fri 10-May-13 23:02:04

I can't stomach this competitive sloppiness, there's really no need to live in shit and saying it's because you'd rather play with your child is just excusing laziness. Trying to validate your failures.

It is possible to gasp possible to do both!

gordyslovesheep Fri 10-May-13 23:07:46

I think it's possible to do a lot of HW with kids around - me, working lone parent of 3, I do everything in the evenings and at weekends. Currently selling the house so it has to be kept presentable. It is do able - if that matters to you

RenterNomad Sat 11-May-13 07:51:28

Er... this "competitive sloppiness"probably isn't any more truthful than competitive perfectionism (my baby slept through the night at 2 days, and started Suzuki violin while I was still on my 4-month mayernity leave from the UN).

Competitive sloppiness is an important solidarity, though, a reaction against the pressures on us. I'm sure MNers love swearing so much because it's a relief to subvert the "rules"!


I have worked full time since dd was 6 months old.
She is now 15.
My housework gets done as and when I can be bothered.
Although I do have to do at least 2 loads of washing a day.

The thought of spending an entire morning of my day off cleaning my house, in order to have it look exactly the same as it did before in 5 hours is bizarre.

It just gets done in bits and pieces.

Enjoy your day off with your DC. Life is too short to worry about an immaculate house. As long as you don't live in an actual hovel, who cares?

paradise yes, but maybe people dont want to

I dare say everyone tidies up with their DCs around.

But sticking a little one in a high chair for 3 hours whilst you clean the house isn't everyone's cup of tea is it?

Personally, I don't care if my house isn't immaculate.
In fact I don't think my house has ever been immaculate.
But it doesn't really bother me.
It's clean, relatively tidy and tbh that's good enough for me.

raisah Sat 11-May-13 08:09:17

She sounds like my cousin who is completely anal about cleaning. It used to drive me mad at first with cleaning my kitchen every time she came round for lunch. Now I sit back and relax while she deep cleans my kitchen!

She is quite extreme in that she will get the dust pan & brush & brush up while my kids are eating.

topcat2001 Sat 11-May-13 08:23:10

My house is always cleans and tidy it don't take much .

And as you are out of the house for nearly 12 hrs a day and when you get home, baby is nearly ready for bed and you and oh does some paperwork how untidy can it get!

Booyhoo Sat 11-May-13 10:02:55

I think if op hadnt been complaining about the state if her house then her friend would have been a bit cheeky to offer advice but as it seemed op isnt happy with the state of it, well im not sure why it was so wrong of her friend to make suggestions.

As has been said it IS possible to clean your house (dust, hoover, floors) in a few hours once a week. ( less if there are two of you). Its perfectly fine not to want to as people have all sorts of different standards and if you're happy with a bit of dust and clutter then you wont be spening your leisure time cleanjng. But op was clearly expressing that she wasnt happy with it.

giantpenguinmonster Sat 11-May-13 10:15:01

I just came across this which is rather lovely:

Dust if you must.
But wouldn’t it be better,
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed?
Ponder the difference between want and need.

Dust if you must.
But there is not much time
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb!
Music to hear, and books to read,
Friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must.
But the world’s out there
With the sun in your eyes,
the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come round again.

Dust if you must.
But bear in mind,
Old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go, and go you must,
You, yourself, will make more dust.

- – - written by Mrs. Rose Milligan

Keep going to the park OP!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now