because dp just looked at me like I'd grown another head...

(76 Posts)
Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 17:39:00

This is really trivial but just wondered if I am alone in my thinking....

It is about to pour down here so I have just got my washing in.
Next door also have washing out, but nobody is home.
As we are missing a fence panel between our gardens til Friday, I mentioned I was considering getting theirs in for them.

They are fairly new neighbours, we don't really 'talk' but I thought this would be a nice thing to do, but dp thinks I'm crazy and should leave it.

Would it be such a terrible thing to do?!

Sirzy Tue 07-May-13 17:40:24

Nice idea but I don't think it would even cross my mind and I might be a bit pissed off if a stranger let themself into my garden!

LST Tue 07-May-13 17:40:40

I would personally love you forever

Totally crazy. I'd think you were a total busy body if you took in my washing.

I'm also a firm believer in leaving it out til it dries, I've been known to hang washing out in the rain.

Littleturkish Tue 07-May-13 17:43:07

Good lord no!

ShatnersBassoon Tue 07-May-13 17:44:00

I'd be really grateful if a neighbour did that for me. Dry washing getting rained on really makes me cross.

havingamadmoment Tue 07-May-13 17:44:04

I would thin it a bit odd if I didnt know you tbh.

Erm, I wouldn't like it tbh. The thought of my neighbour fingering my smalls <shudder>

cocolepew Tue 07-May-13 17:44:54

I think its a lovely idea.

VanitasVanitatum Tue 07-May-13 17:45:27

My male neighbour did this for me recently. I was really grateful!

It depends what it is. Of its underwear and small bits then I wouldn't. But a wash of jeans and t-shirts I definitely would.
Could you leave it in a bag by their back door maybe instead of keeping it until they get home?

FannyFifer Tue 07-May-13 17:47:03

I would love if someone rescued my washing unless my undies were out, towels, sheets etc would be fine.

Where would you put their washing though?

5madthings Tue 07-May-13 17:50:16

I would be immensly grateful to a neighbour who did this!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 07-May-13 17:50:56

Unless you have a cat that loves to sleep on fresh laundry, maybe take in bedding or towels, otherwise leave.

rambososcar Tue 07-May-13 17:51:24

I'd think you were lovely. smile

Kubalai Tue 07-May-13 17:53:09

I would be massively grateful! Nothing upsets me more than knowing it was dry and then got wet again!!

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 17:53:50

No underwear, just school uniform and towels.
They have just pulled up now so that solves that, but I totally understand it might cross a line...

LastTangoInDevonshire Tue 07-May-13 17:54:59

Good lord, you miserable load of uncharitable un-neighbourly buggers.

OF COURSE you would take down their washing if it was going to pour down. Why wouldn't you?

TSSDNCOP Tue 07-May-13 17:57:44

My mum and her neighbours always take in each others washing.

None of them speak to them four doors down that light bonfires while washing is out and don't knock first.

Social death.

Nishky Tue 07-May-13 17:57:48

My neighbour did it for me when we had just moved in and didn't really know them. I loved her for it. You sound like a lovely neighbour.

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 17:59:13

I am pleased I'm not totally alone in my thinking, at first it really didn't occur to me it would be 'weird'
Maybe I'm weird...

LastTango... I wouldn't do it because I'd feel really intruded on if someone did it to me.

Someone coming into my garden and manhandling my washing would make me extremely uncomfortable.

It might be different if it was someone I knew but OP says these are new neighbours who she doesn't know.

i would have but we live in inbred friendly area where the washing would be photographed and shown around the village.

go and knock and say that you considered it but your dh thought you were a loon. see what they say, may be a nice introduction.

JaxTellerIsAllMine Tue 07-May-13 18:02:08

I think it is a perfectly normal thing to do. Its being a good neighbour, you arent asking for anything in return, just being helpful.

dopeysheep Tue 07-May-13 18:02:47

I think it's a nice idea but I would have to speak to them first and see. Might think it was a bit strange otherwise.
Basic idea is lovely though.

fluffiphlox Tue 07-May-13 18:03:09

When I was growing up, this was the done thing ( think S.Wales terraced houses). Why anyone would think it was anything other than helpful, I don't know.

Wishiwasanheiress Tue 07-May-13 18:04:06

Think this is def a case of the road to hell being paved with good intentions. Your neighbours will be freaked if u do this!

FortyFacedFuckers Tue 07-May-13 18:05:06

I know they are there now but thought I would answer anyway. I would love it if my neighbour brought mine in for me. grin

Aintnobodygottimeforthat Tue 07-May-13 18:05:09

I wouldn't do it because I'd be very upset if someone I didn't really know that well touched my washing. I have OCD so would have to wash it all again. I obviously wouldn't tell them I was upset though. Id thank them politely and trudge back home to get secretly rewashing. Don't do it unless you've spoken about it before!

BackforGood Tue 07-May-13 18:05:33

It's not weird - it's neighbourly. I was immensely grateful to my neighbour in my first flat who did this for me a few times. Lovely to have nice neighbours.
there are some odd people on MN - I mean, it would be different if you had to scale the fence to do it, but if you have easy access, then why wouldn't you ? confused

BrienneOfTarth Tue 07-May-13 18:05:40

Now would be the perfect opportunity to "just happen to be popping into the garden" yourself when they are taking their laundry down, and you can ask them whether they would want you to take it in if it looks like it's going to rain on a future occasion.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 07-May-13 18:06:06

I think that would be lovely. It wouldn't feel intrusive in this case either because of the missing fence panel; if someone climbed over a wall/fence to take in the washing it might seem a bit odd!

But no, basically OP I think you're Neighbour of the Year smile

DontmindifIdo Tue 07-May-13 18:10:46

first things first, what is on their line, is it shirts, towels etc or is it pants? If it's underwear, is it the grey big pants variety or the skimpy fabulous type? either way, I'd not want to have to acknowledge my neighbours had been handling my panties.

once you've got their washing, what will you do with it? Put it in their house with a note through the door saying "I've got your washing" and make them come over with it? go round later with it? Fold it up and put it somewhere safe and dry in their garden - is there anywhere safe and dry in their garden? Honestly, if you're not careful, it will make you look like a crazy person.

Where I used to live my neighbour would get mine in finish it in the dryer and iron it too!!

Branleuse Tue 07-May-13 18:15:54

i wouldnt like it. It would cross a boundary and id hate them to think i might do theirs

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 18:17:31

I now know her name, and that she is getting a puppy on Friday, but she had to go back in to see to her dd before I could ask/freak her out with asking about the washing smile

Machli Tue 07-May-13 18:19:46

I'd think you were really kind but I would worry you were going to turn out to a big old busy body who'd be popping up every time I so much as stuck my nose out of the patio doors.

everlong Tue 07-May-13 18:22:28

In my old cottage we had a shared back garden and we used to always bring each others washing in. Worked out for us all.

Can't do it now.

likeitorlumpit Tue 07-May-13 18:23:58

id be very annoyed if someone was manhandling my underwear , its a bit personal tbh

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 18:24:39

Well the fence is 7ft high so the gardens are really private usually, I would have to go upstairs to be able to spy effectively ;)

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 18:26:44

Well I'm pleased they came home, it seems pretty split as to bu or not and I wouldn't want to freak her/them out.

Let's hope the new fence stays up!

Bowlersarm Tue 07-May-13 18:27:08

No don't do it. However, have a conversation with your neighbour about whether, should it happen again, she would like you to take her washing in, in the future.

Crikeyblimey Tue 07-May-13 18:29:26

My lovely neighbour works term time only so if I've pegged washing out during the summer when she is at home and it rains, she brings mine in. She sends me a text to say she's done it. She will also finish it in her dryer if necessary. I love her for it and bake her cakes. If we are both at home and it starts to rain, we will either attract the attention of a shiny out child or text each other so neither of us misses the opportunity to bring our washing in.

It is a lovely, neighbourly thing to do.

If I were you, I'd broach the subject when you're both out in your gardens. Get her view on it (if she's just polite, you will know) and then if the situation arises again, you'll know what to do.

ChangeNameToday Tue 07-May-13 18:32:35

I'm with your DH on this one. I would find that creepy. I can imagine my mum doing it for her elderly neighbor but they've known each other for 30 years so it's a bit different. If I didn't know you I would think you were a busy-body.

Dawndonna Tue 07-May-13 18:32:41

We always do one anothers washing here. Just the way we are.

sittinginthesun Tue 07-May-13 18:34:02

My old neighbour (single man in his 60's), used to get my washing in when it rained. As I did loads more than him, he also used to lend me his line, which was in full sun all day, so I could dry two loads at once.

We're still great friends, but live 5 mins away now, so bit too far to collect in washing.

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 07-May-13 18:35:45

Where I live, we all do this for each other. And finish it in the tumble drier. My mum takes in her neighbours washing and even irons it!

BrawToken Tue 07-May-13 18:44:27

I would be delighted smile

wibblyjelly Tue 07-May-13 19:04:27

You've all just reminded me to get mine in thanks neighbours!

everlong Tue 07-May-13 19:11:06

Once ( in this house ) my decorator brought all my washing in.

Thongs, bras, tiny pants. All folded up on the kitchen top. blush

Dh reckoned he had a thing for me!

seeker Tue 07-May-13 19:18:00

I would. But I do all sorts of things people think hideously intrusive on mumsnet- like giving people lifts, and offering to hold babies in cafes. I once tidied a friend's kitchen and hung her washing up while I was waiting in for a repair man for her, and according to mumsnet that was the most waful thing anyone has ever done. Oh, except the time ds's friend left his school bag at mine on a Friday night, and I emptied and washed the lunch box rather than hand it back full of rancid youghurt on Monday morning.

I was really flamed for that one!

everlong Tue 07-May-13 19:20:15

What seeker!!

All that stuff you've done I would do.

How could you be flamed for being kind and thoughtful?

ComtessedeFrouFrou Tue 07-May-13 19:20:32

The real question now is whether they have rushed out to take the wagon in now that they are home?

If yes, you can assume they'd be grateful.

If no, you can assume they wouldn't.

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 19:24:08

She has taken her washing in, and I'm glad I didn't get hers in but only because it was spitting with black clouds at the time of my getting my own in, but it didn't come to anything and is now beautiful outside again so she would have thought me most odd!

It is lovely to hear all your takes of neighbourliness though smile

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 19:24:32

Doh - tales!

Salmotrutta Tue 07-May-13 19:25:01

They have a wagon?? grin

seeker Tue 07-May-13 19:31:37

It was bizarre- everlong. The third worst flaming I have ever had. The kindest interpretation was that I was "needy and try-too-hard" The worst that I was snooping to find out my friend's secrets!

i remember the lunch box!!!! arf.

everlong Tue 07-May-13 19:36:55

Craziness seeker. As much as fond of this place it does leave me speechless at times!

I mean who would leave a lunch box with food in it?

ChangeNameToday Tue 07-May-13 19:45:21

I don't think the lunchbox thing is weird Seeker, seems normal and decent. Did people really flame you for that?

I think the difference here is that washing is personal.

Tryharder Tue 07-May-13 19:49:40

I would take in the washing as well.

I went on holiday to a park in Cornwall a few years back and a woman in a nearby caravan took my washing in for me when it rained when we were out. We were friends for the rest of the holiday. smile

DontmindifIdo Tue 07-May-13 19:50:11

And Seeker - you had the lunchbox in your posession, in this case, she'd be going into someone else's garden and messing with their pants. Just not the done thing.

Mother2many Tue 07-May-13 19:56:43

Well, if I was you, I would of prob. mentioned something to her... You don't know her yet...maybe she would of appreciated it, and maybe not... Either way you learn a bit about her...

twofalls Tue 07-May-13 20:01:53

I think it's so sad so many people would be annoyed. Where I used to live we would this for each other all the time as the gardens we all open (terraced houses). When we moved my 70 year neighbour did this for the new people and got a mouthful for her trouble. She was so upset. I think it's a lovely thought and I would be grateful.

twofalls Tue 07-May-13 20:05:07

But op said it wasn't personal, just uniform and stuff. I might draw the line at a line full of small.

Seeker, I would do all that too. It's just being thoughtful. Can't believe you got flamed.

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 20:08:48

Just for the record dontmind I was not planning on 'messing with her pants'.
I don't mess with strangers pants. Not on a Tuesday anyway wink

LaGuardia Tue 07-May-13 20:26:06

If a neighbour touched my clean washing I would have to wash it again <shudders>

I have taken my neighbours washing in loads of time ( moved about alot so lots of diff neughbours) once i came home and it was raining next door had her washing out i brought it in stuck the sheets and school uniform in the tumble dryer She was gratful as she didnt have a tumble dryer and limted school uniform.

twofalls Tue 07-May-13 20:52:56

For goodness sake laGaurdia, what a ridiculous thing to say.

Whereisegg Tue 07-May-13 21:17:38

I never considered any OCD type issues.
Just wanted to be nice, and it is a real eye opener that so many people would not only be displeased, but actually offended and consider me to be a busybody.
I think I'm an ok neighbour, I have swept my elderly neighbours paths of snow, and knocked on a couple of doors when one of elderly neighbours grass was very long (unlike her) but she was on holiday, so was fine, helped them to carry shopping, taken parcels in, and seriously considered this nothing more than an extension of those things.

yonithebrave Tue 07-May-13 21:24:00

I take my neighbours washing in, but I also fake tan her back for her as well.

Don't know the 'other side' neighbours very well, but as she's about to have a baby if they had baby stuff on the line and it rained, I would bring that in for her.

Not touching any pants though, no way, no how.

OrangeLily Tue 07-May-13 21:25:57

I would take it in!

Just asked DH and he said no because he is too lazy.

The only thing that would be awkward if you are mid folding up their pants and they walk in....

If you at that fussed about your 'small a' don't hang them outside for everyone to see.

LaGaurdia.... That's ridiculous unless your neighbour is King of the Germs from mankyville. Don't fucking shudder at people being kind. It's a normal thing to do without feeling like aliens have landed.

<mutters> what is the world coming too......

Mandy2003 Tue 07-May-13 21:29:24

My neighbour knocked when I had washing out and it started to rain. I wasn't at home but teen DS was. For the first time in his life he was shamed into bringing washing in! Go neighbour grin

youmeatsix Tue 07-May-13 21:40:40

i would happily bring in a neighbours washing and tumble dry it for them, but wouldnt like anyone to bring mine in for me confused double standards, i know

DoJo Wed 08-May-13 00:06:19

It really does depend though - we have neighbours who are altogether too much up in our business anyway, so for them to do something like this would be another encroachment on our personal space which would make me uncomfortable and angry. They used to feed rotten scraps to my rabbits under the guise of 'being neighbourly' despite me telling them that they were on a special diet; they repeatedly come to our door at unsociable hours to ask inane questions; they have blazing rows which we are forced to listen to or close all the windows in the summer; they can't just say 'hello' and get on with things when we're in the garden, they have to attempt to involve us in all their family dramas. So if they took in our washing, I'd be furious.
I think asking is probably the best way to approach it, and then you'll know (and hopefully prove your husband wrong!).

Booyhoo Wed 08-May-13 00:18:33

when i had new neighbours at my first house the woman used to take my washing in if it was going to rain. then she suggested we remove one fence panel to save her having to go out the front and round the side to get into my garden, i obliged (she also said it would mean our dcs could play together in both gardens) then they started taking their bins through my garden to put out the front. initially they took mine too whilst they were doing it but that soon stopped and then it was basically them using my garden as access to their own to save going round the path at the back. and she started using my washing line too so i would come home from work and find my line full of her washing so couldn't put my own out unless i took hers down still damp! then they got a dog. so i put the panel back up and just let my washing get wet if it rained. i was far happier.

not saying you're a piss taker like that lot OP. but based on my only experience of neighbours taking in my washing 'as a favour' i wouldn't actually like it tbh.

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