to issue a helpful ear piercing decision making flowchart?

(65 Posts)
ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 12:48:20

Here it is:

Do the ears you are thinking of piercing belong to you?
Yes = go to [A]
No = go to [B]

[A] Are they located on your own personal body?
Yes = go to [C]
No = go to [D]

[B] What the fuck? You want to pierce ears belonging to someone else? Are you mad? Other people should really have the choice over the state of their own ears don't you think? I mean would you be okay with someone randomly attacking you with a piercing gun in the street? No I didn't think so. Do NOT do this.

[C] Good luck with your decision, I couldn't care less what you choose to do. I hope you enjoy the outcome.

[D] What the fuck? You think someone else's ears belong to you? Are you into owning people? Or slavery? Or do you have some other sort of issue that makes you think that other people's bodies belong to you? Do NOT do this and remember that evil starts with treating people as possessions....and that includes children.

gordyslovesheep Tue 07-May-13 12:51:16

Snort! Yanbu

Patchouli Tue 07-May-13 12:51:26

Also....
has the person whose ears they are asked for them to be pierced?
do they need pinning down to keep still to get them done? ie physically or with bribes.

hmm

BeatenByAnEgg Tue 07-May-13 12:54:19

What if you have chopped off one of your own ears and it has been sewn onto someone else? It is your ear but on someone else's body. How does your flowchart work them? confused

BeatenByAnEgg Tue 07-May-13 12:55:25

Or if someone else has chopped off an ear and sewn it onto your body? confused. I really don't think you have thought this through.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 12:56:42

And what if somebody has lent you an ear? Or if you're all ears?

HoneyDragon Tue 07-May-13 12:56:52

What if its your pet cow?

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 12:57:44

Or a tortoise?

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 12:59:43

And what if your ear is pierced by an ear-piercing scream?

Cone on, that flow chart needs a little more work!

OldBeanbagz Tue 07-May-13 13:01:23

Surely if the other person's ears that you're thinking of having pierced are 11 years old (and have been counting down the days till the start of the Summer holiday over 6 months, nagging you constantly), then you must be exempt from a 'What the Fuck'?

BeatenByAnEgg Tue 07-May-13 13:01:30

TVK - I just had to google whether tortoises actually have ears (they do, sort of, but they don't look very piercable)

BeatenByAnEgg Tue 07-May-13 13:02:36

What if you are a professional piercer? You wouldn't make much money only piercing your own ears.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 13:04:45

Oh good point, BeatenByAnEgg! I think you have just exploded that flow chart.

And yes, I suspect tortoises' ears are not very piercable. sad

PatPig Tue 07-May-13 13:47:25

I give you a D-, for failing to produce an actual chart.

HoneyDragon Tue 07-May-13 13:51:06

The studs would get stuck in your teeth Kniddy.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 14:18:07

That's a good point, HoneyDragon. They might upset my delicate digestive system.

UserError Tue 07-May-13 15:54:30

I. Love. You. grin

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 16:06:41

beaten ARGH I did not cover that corner case...hmmmm...back to the drawing board.

I was going to do one on not killing people (unless it is yourself) but got all tidied up in the morality of assisted suicide...

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 16:08:46

I think a key part of lending ears (or in fact anything) is that you give them back in the same state you got them...

although this rule is waved when tissues/ handkerchiefs are in play.

<gosh I had no idea that was how you spell handkerchiefs!>

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 16:10:33

I also see now that I did not cover the whole animal piercing issue...but I can't think about that without getting a bit of sick in my mouth...so erm..tough basically.

meglet Tue 07-May-13 16:15:54

Remember those clever barking scientists that grew an ear on a mouses back? You might need to add some arrows to your flow chart to take that into account.

Unless that ear belonged to a dead person in which case the mouse was then the rightful owner of that ear.

OldBeanbagz - I've got one of those too. Oh good grief I'd rather not take her ... But I promised she could, a million years ago when her 11th year seemed impossibly far off ...

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 16:23:16

I am leaving the 11-14 year old region of the flowchart intentionally blank.

I'll consider filling it in when my DD gets there....

StuntGirl Tue 07-May-13 16:23:28

"Surely if the other person's ears that you're thinking of having pierced are 11 years old (and have been counting down the days till the start of the Summer holiday over 6 months, nagging you constantly), then you must be exempt from a 'What the Fuck'?"

Well oldbeanz, since at the age of 11 one cannot (generally) get pierced in a professional studio by a reputable piercer using a needle I must draw the conclusion that said 11 year old must be going to a Claire's Accessories style place to be pierced with a 'piercing gun'. This explains why that's not a great idea.

In that case I would say it's well deserved of a What The Fuck.

MaxPepsi Tue 07-May-13 16:23:56

At what age then is it deemed acceptable to know whether or not you want your ears pierced??

NinaHeart Tue 07-May-13 16:26:40

What about that mouse that grew an experimental ear on its back? Whose ear was that?

StuntGirl Tue 07-May-13 16:27:39

Reputable piercers will not pierce under the age of 18. You can know you want it doing before then, but if you want it doing properly you'd be wise to allow a professional to do it and not any old monkey wielding an unsterilised device.

MadRambler Tue 07-May-13 16:32:15

I visited a friend the other day to see her new baby. Her DD was 24 hours old and already had her ears pierced. So sad.

Do I win???

(exclaimer - I live in Spain) (but still loathe the practice)

OldBeanbagz Tue 07-May-13 17:18:30

StuntGirl the piercing will be done by a reputable beautician who comes highly recommended. I haven't booked it yet but will certainly ask if she's using a needle or a ear piercing gun.

HoneyDragon Tue 07-May-13 17:22:09

Where do we stand on the issues of 5 years olds and them splitting their own ear into two pieces and thus starting the journey into body modification very young?

SamuelWestsMistress Tue 07-May-13 17:54:29

What happens if its an ear being grown on the back of a lab rat?

SamuelWestsMistress Tue 07-May-13 17:55:35

UH OES! Crossed threads with Nina.

I shall retreat into my hobbit hole. Tis full of ears.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Tue 07-May-13 18:00:54

Someone please do one for parking in a P&C space grin

StuntGirl Tue 07-May-13 19:35:49

Beautician =/= piercer.

She will be using a gun I can guarantee it.

VAVAV00M Tue 07-May-13 19:57:34

For a horror story:

I got mine pierced at 4 (asked for it) a couple months later I fell out of bed the earring had tangled around thread from bedding and ripped up to about tragus area, I woke up seen blood ripped the cover ripping it down, more blood the looked in my disney princess mirror to see my ear dangling off with blood, screamed, threw up and landed in a pool of blood and vomit. Dad had to call an ambulance for me as middle of the night (and for my mum she threw up too!) stitched back on, have a lob sided ear though but not noticeable.

It is a tale that goes around my area when a little girl wants hers done!

I am ok and find the story amusing, I only remember ripping the cover, the blood and the mirror part, dad told me the rest. Not actually that painful, felt like a bee sting.

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 20:39:00

Vavoom whoa! that sounds dramatic! will definitely store that one for future reference smile

JesusInTheCabbageVan Tue 07-May-13 20:39:40

What if it's an ear of wheat, or corn or similar?

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 20:41:10

I am so very much not brave enough to take on parking...

HollyBerryBush Tue 07-May-13 20:42:51

I have spotted the flaw in your OP

Do the ears you are thinking of piercing belong to you?
Yes = go to [A]
No = go to [B]

what if:
~~You are the gun operative for said piercing parlour? ears don't belong to you!
~~you are 14 and you mate has produced a bar of soap, a darning needle and a cork and wants you to do it for her?

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 20:43:35

gnghghgh okay how about if I insert

'Is the ear human and attached to its original owner?'

Gah that is all manner of weird...no-one not on MN would EVER start a flow chart with that!

I am sure MNHQ would back me up on that...

foreverondiet Tue 07-May-13 20:44:08

Ears belonging to 9 year old dd begging to have them done? If child wants to have them done with no pinning down or bribery and the parent us happy with it then surely it's fine??

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 20:47:54

<dons hard hat>

Okay we shall also need to add 'is ear piercing part of your professional role?'

Yes = consider getting a real Job that doesn't involve cashing in on the cosmetics industries deliberate undermining of peoples body confidence.

ooohhhh that stings...like a bee....or a ripped out 5 year olds piercing...

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 20:51:56

Right well it's not like it is actually up to me...but in the world according to ICBINEG, Anyone younger than 12 yos need protecting from making choices they are not old enough to understand....because your brain is not done baking till you do puberty etc.

some 14 years and over have a fair stab at making informed choices, but not all....

and the whole 12-14 is something I am going to wait and see on.

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 07-May-13 21:14:20

I think you are ovearthinking this. wink

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 21:32:01

Just warming up the grey cells for the P&C parking version...

quoteunquote Tue 07-May-13 21:36:36

ICBINEG

If I grow an ear on the back of a mouse to transplant on to my head, can I pierce it in advance?

ZebraOwl Tue 07-May-13 21:53:13

Am trying to work out if OP is very brave, very foolish, or some charming mixture of the two.

Good luck with this one, ICBINEG...

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 23:05:52

quote what did mice ever do to you? grow your own extra ear you lazy sod!

TheChaoGoesMu Tue 07-May-13 23:17:36

What if I want to pierce dd's barbie dolls ears? Where do the ears of an inanimate object fit into your flow chart?

quoteunquote Tue 07-May-13 23:23:56

Well the mouse was touting for work, I thought I would be doing it a favour,

I just thought you should include this possibility in your most excellence flow chart.

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 23:24:41

right parking.

So, you are thinking of parking in the P&C spot:

Are you travelling with a child who needs help getting in and out of the car?

No = go to [A]
Yes = go to [B]

[A] Are you intending to pick up a child who needs help getting in and out of the car in the shops to take home in the car? (no - this isn't a child selling shop <face palm>)

Yes = go to [C]
No = go to [D]

[B] Are you intending to get the child out of the car and into the shops?

Yes = go to [C]
No = go to [E]

[D] Do you, or anyone travelling with you have disabilities that might mean the extra space is useful for you?

yes = go to [C]
no = go to [F]

[C] Okay best of luck with that...although shopping is never fun is it?

[E] = what the fuck? Don't leave your children in the car! They could be kidnapped or smashed into or just simply unexpectedly explode. Do NOT do this.

[F] = get out of the freaking P&C you able bodied (currently) childless scum! Or else someone IS DEFINITELY going to tut at your or something...

NB: this might need work....

Although I would rather move onto using the wheelchair space on a bus....

<girds loins>

ICBINEG Tue 07-May-13 23:25:39

hmmm yes I suppose even spare ear growing could be move above the poverty line for the average mouse... <ponders>

sashh Wed 08-May-13 00:39:35

What about artificial ears? If someone only has one ear and wears a fake do they need to match.

What about number of piercings already?

What if you are from an old fishing family in Cornwall and you want the next generation to have good eyesight? <yes I know this has dies out but you never know>

ICBINEG Wed 08-May-13 00:43:04

What now? Did people in cornwall think that ear piercing was linked to sight?

sashh Wed 08-May-13 01:38:21

It's an old belief, more to do with sailors than Cornwall.

www.factfixx.com/2011/11/10/superstitions-ear-piercing-improves-eyesight/

theodorakisses Wed 08-May-13 09:10:31

Do you
[a] mind your own business? = Go to [c]
[b] post attention seeking threads that have been done to death? pick [d]

[c] = normal person
[d] = fuck off

eminemmerdale Wed 08-May-13 09:16:27

Actually, the mouse that had an ear grown on its back was for people like me and my dd who were both born with only one ear, so she wouldn't have to go through 16 years of painful reconstructive surgery like I did as a child so I get a little pissed off when people start making ear jokes <sort of being serious but not sure if I am or not, but be a bit sensitive - huff>

eminemmerdale Wed 08-May-13 09:17:14

ditto - jokes about artificial ears <double sort of huff>

NinaHeart Wed 08-May-13 09:34:29

I am Van Gogh and have given a hastily removed ear to a prostititute. Or maybe Gauguin.

Could either of these people legitimately pierce it?

ICBINEG Wed 08-May-13 09:36:12

nina yes - but it is going to start smelling bad very very soon....

theo [A] = fuck off yourself.

theodorakisses Thu 09-May-13 10:18:33

I said it first.

ICBINEG Thu 09-May-13 10:33:00

I said it loudest...

theodorakisses Thu 09-May-13 12:59:21

I know this was a lighthearted thread and didn't really mean to tell you personally to fuck off, I just don't really get why people care so much. There are some really shitty parents out there who don't deserve children, I personally don't think ear piercing is an example of shittiness. Each to his own though, no offence.

ICBINEG Thu 09-May-13 13:21:24

theo I agree it is a tiny thing by itself, but to me it indicates a whole attitude that I find repulsive.

I personally would never permanently modify my DD's body for any reason other than medical. Because from the moment she was born I respected her rights as an independent human being. I don't own her or her body in any possible sense.

When someone decides to pierce a babies ears they are saying that their own fashion/aesthetic preferences are more important than the child's autonomy of it's own body.

That truly is a repulsive attitude to me.

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