to think being blonde, tall and slim doesn't automatically mean you are beautiful?

(115 Posts)
oharna Sat 04-May-13 15:34:50

(Not saying that anyone who is any of those things is in any way ugly btw)

However I was reading the "do you think you're pretty thread" and quite a few responses were along the lines of "yes because...."

"I am tall and slim" or "I had waist length blonde hair"

I don't think any of these things automatically mean you are beautiful.

Marcia Cross is a redhead. Melissa McCarthy isn't slim. Mila Kunis is only 5ft4. All these women are beautiful (imo) and despite some not being tall, blonde or slim.

thebody Sat 04-May-13 15:38:58

Anyone who answers yes on a thread 'are you pretty' is a bit of a twat.

Tall and slim?? Long blond hair? Who gives a flying fuck.

SkinnybitchWannabe Sat 04-May-13 15:41:58

Im tall, fat with brown hair..my 7year old son tells me Im a yummy mummy!

quesadilla Sat 04-May-13 15:43:58

Agree with thebody. You are right - you can be tall, blonde and slim and look like the back end of a bus. I think there is a certain sort of very shallow and stupid person - of both genders - who thinks conforming to a particular stereotype lifts them up a few notches on the attractiveness stakes though.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 15:46:03

What about the people who answers no on a 'are you pretty?' thread. Are they twats too? It's perfectly possible to be aware that you're pretty without being a twat.

HollyBerryBush Sat 04-May-13 15:48:20

My DH tells me I'm beautiful all the time. In his defence he is very short sighted grin

FWIW most people are beautiful regardless of colouring or size. Beauty radiates from within

>feels all philosophical today<

However if you are talking about aesthetic beauty - stick a row of photos up - people generally rate/grade the same way.

quesadilla Sat 04-May-13 15:50:38

Squoosh don't you think, though, that to take the trouble to assert to a bunch of strangers on an Internet thread where no one can see you and thus no one gives a fuck what you look like suggests a certain vanity and just downright silliness?

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 15:57:05

Perhaps, but it doesn't seem that much different to me to someone saying 'no, I'm desperately ugly'. Pretty is just pretty, it's an everyday attractiveness, it's a world away from saying 'I'm a latter day Helen of Troy'.

I don't see anything wrong with recognising your own attractiveness.

p.s. I didn't comment on that thread.

GibberTheMonkey Sat 04-May-13 15:58:41

I am so beautiful if I posted a picture the Internet would explode
So of course I won't grin

quesadilla Sat 04-May-13 16:02:08

I think getting into a long discussion on the Internet or anywhere else about whether you are pretty or not suggests you are probably a bit vapid and thick, to be honest, regardless of whether you think you are pretty or ugly as sin. Beauty is subjective and also its a pretty dull and self-centred conversation.

currentbuns Sat 04-May-13 16:02:49

Donatella Versace & Gillian McKeith are both blonde and slim.

Punkatheart Sat 04-May-13 16:04:16

My ex partner has just told me that 'You were special, but not that special.' So I guess that means medium ugly. But definitely not tall, slim and blonde.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 16:04:21

I think a lot of the threads on MN are vapid and dull, idle chit chat that you wouldn't start an actual conversation about.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 16:05:17

'You were special, but not that special.'

Therefore not special at all. What a cock he sounds.

HootShoot Sat 04-May-13 16:05:39

YABU - Samantha Brick has taught us that only tall slim blondes are pretty and the rest of us are just jealous witches.

Ashoething Sat 04-May-13 16:12:54

i was the person on that thread who boasted about my waist length blonde hair.dont give a fuck what you say-my hair was beautiful. i used to get ALOT of comments on it.then i had chemo and lost it all.i am still attractive though :-)

Those threads make me cringe! And there is one particular poster who always goes on them and directs everyone to her profile which is full of selfies and it makes me die inside.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 16:20:26

MermaidAvenue are you named after the Wilco album of the same name? One of my faves.

uncongenial Sat 04-May-13 16:24:43

"Anyone who answers yes on a thread 'are you pretty' is a bit of a twat."

Oh yes^ What happened to modesty?

Lots of long blonde hair, slim people, amongst the teens especially, I've noticed. Varying levels of attractiveness, hair dye and extensions make it more possible too.

TheRealFellatio Sat 04-May-13 16:26:34

I agree with you OP. I read that thread and thought the same thing. Ans some people seemed to confused being beautiful with being highly groomed.

uncongenial Sat 04-May-13 16:26:47

I was a hair model back in the early 90s <old> Though not blonde hair.

thebody Sat 04-May-13 16:31:57

It's perfectly fine to know you are pretty but to say they you are Is being a twat and a twit.

LittleMissGerardButlerfan Sat 04-May-13 16:32:11

Now I'm a bit older I know that really beauty comes from within and you can be absolutely gorgeous but also be a horrible person, if you are beautiful inside and out then you are very lucky, but if I had too choose I would choose inner beauty which is a good job being as I am fat and frumpy

Though I don't take offence if people want to class themselves as pretty.

<nods wisely> grin

Sparklingbrook Sat 04-May-13 16:32:33

OMG an 'are you beautiful?' thread. I must go and laugh look. IMO Emma Willis is the prettiest woman ever and she doesn't fit the criteria.

Punkatheart Sat 04-May-13 16:35:49

I couldn't be a hair model uncongenial. My hair is so flyaway it rarely comes back. But I could be a hairy leg model. Is there any call for that, do you think?

Lweji Sat 04-May-13 16:36:43

I'd take that thread in the spirit that we are all beautiful/pretty.
And an invitation to share what we think makes us beautiful.
smile

EmmaBemma Sat 04-May-13 16:41:49

Very true, OP, very true. For example I'm tall and slim but I have a face like a bag of spanners. Erm, is that the sort of response you were looking for?

ENormaSnob Sat 04-May-13 16:43:08

I am a bit of a twat tbh.

A pretty one though.

It's not something I would discuss irl though. Not something I dwell upon, or even think about usually.

And I'm far from blonde, slim and tall therefore I feel Yanbu.

lookingfoxy Sat 04-May-13 16:43:15

I'm tall and slim but that's just genetics my legs are too thin and I have no hips, so bodily I would love to be a few inches shorter with more curves. I'm blonde because the highlights blend well with the grey. I look like shit in the mornings without my hair and make up done.
I'm envious of 'normal'.
Id love to put on some weight and it goes to my bum but instead it goes round my middle and I just look like a barrel with skinny overlong limbs hanging from it. Yip pure glamour city here lol.

uncongenial Sat 04-May-13 16:43:53

Oh I couldn't be a hair model now, either! Years of abuse with styling tools and the like have ensured that.

KittensandKids Sat 04-May-13 16:45:43

Umm I am 5'8 have blonde highlights, I have okay skin, am a size 12 and am not on the other thread.

I agree fwiw.

oharna Sat 04-May-13 16:48:44

i was the person on that thread who boasted about my waist length blonde hair.dont give a fuck what you say-my hair was beautiful. i used to get ALOT of comments on it.then i had chemo and lost it all.i am still attractive though

Well you've kind of proven my point really ... you say you are still attractive despite not having waist length blonde hair, therefore it wasn't your hair that made you attractive in the first place.

Stating you have blonde hair doesn't automatically mean you are the most beautiful woman in the world.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 04-May-13 17:12:51

I'm always amazed on these threads how many people come on to say how beautiful they are.
It's like the 'do you look like a celebrity ones', everybody looks like Elle Macpherson or Angeline Jolie.
The only sleb I've been likened too was by my late mum who said I looked like Sally from Coronation Street sad
I had her bob at the time Mum was still compos mentis.
She's prettier than me though.

Ashoething Sat 04-May-13 17:12:59

i never claimed to be most beautiful women.my hair was one of my good points though and one i was complimented on.why are you a twat if you have self confidence or make the most of yourself?

oharna Sat 04-May-13 17:15:24

And the last sentence wasn't aimed directly at you, as I know you never stated that.

And I never called anyone a twat.

RhondaJean Sat 04-May-13 17:19:21

I know plenty of tall slim blonde women with faces like hatchets / frying pans.

And to me it's facial features which cause real beauty. That and personality/ spark shining through. I don't like insipid beauty either - cannot believe gwyneth Paltrow was voted most beautiful. Really? She's slim and blonde but honestly nothing special...

LooseyMy Sat 04-May-13 17:21:42

According to this, only one of the world's "perfect" women has blonde hair... http://coolmemes.net/the-perfect-woman-does-exist/

idococktailshedoesbeer Sat 04-May-13 17:22:35

I'm equally mystified by the Gwynnie... many women could look as polished as her if they had the resources... I just don't see how she's naturally beautiful.

LooseyMy Sat 04-May-13 17:24:20

I also don't think being tall makes you beautiful. I think smaller women look more petite and feminine and a lot of men prefer small(er) women.

BreasticlesNTesticles Sat 04-May-13 17:25:56

sparkling you know how pretty Emma is on tv? Well times it by 10000 and you get what she looks life in reality.

She eminates lumiosity not sure if that actually makes sense but you get my drift

Apologies if you know her and I now look like a nob.

My SIL is very tall and blonde and slim. Not pretty. However I would swap my aging pretty face for those legs.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 04-May-13 17:26:02

Gwynnie is lovely but bland. She doesn't stand out at all for me.
But as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Sparklingbrook Sat 04-May-13 17:28:11

No I don't know her Breasticles. sad How did you get to see her in RL? envy

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 04-May-13 17:29:35

I guess though that being tall is seen as preferable to being short, being slim is preferable to being fat and a lot of people dye their hair blonde.

So they are seen as 'attractive' features.

But you're right it doesn't make you beautiful or pretty.

Fefifo Sat 04-May-13 17:30:14

In my opinion being blonde certainly doesn't make you beautiful, but I'm not white so don't particularly relate to that model of beauty and to be honest, for me it's the most unattractive of hair colours. Tall or short would be neither here nor there to me really. I guess I do think being slim is more attractive, but then my idea of slim is probably a good few sizes bigger than some other people's. I don't think the tall, slim blonde look is particularly de rigour for a lot of people now and would guess that most of my female acquaintances would much prefer to look like a short, dark haired Salam Hayek type than an Elle McPherson.

oharna Sat 04-May-13 17:33:13

I don't know if this is quite a strange way of thinking but ...

MN seems to have a hatred of Barbie and what she stands for.

Yet a lot on that thread were stating they are beautiful because they are blonde, tall, slim.

Is that not a bit of a contradiction?

BreasticlesNTesticles Sat 04-May-13 17:35:39

sparkling I went to school with her and we have friends in common. Flawless skin. She was the girl who scratched her bum in the diet coke ad all those years ago.

The blonde hair thing is from youth isn't it, blonde hair is synonemous in white society as being a mark of being young. However, true blondes are actually very pale (I have a family of them) not the bronzed sun kissed timotei beauties portrayed to us in the media.

BreasticlesNTesticles Sat 04-May-13 17:37:06

That should say generally very pale.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 17:38:30

Not a contradiction as there isn't a human woman alive who could ever have Barbie's physical proportions. Being anti Barbie isn't being anti blonde. That would be silly.

cantdoalgebra Sat 04-May-13 17:39:49

A few years ago, a tall blonde woman came to where I was working. I thought she looked as though she needed a good meal - she was very pale, hunched and thin. After a little while of observing her, (I was working on reception and had nothing better to do) I vaguely thought that if she bothered to try a bit harder with her appearance she might not look too bad. I later found out it was Claudia Schiffer...

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 04-May-13 17:43:12

I agree about Emma Willis, she has beautiful eyes too.

ENormaSnob Sat 04-May-13 17:43:46

Is it just me that can generally see something attractive about most people?

shock maybe I have some kind of backwards body dysmorphia. Maybe i, and everyone else i see, is really a minger!

Gwynnie is pretty but nowt spesh imho.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 17:46:58

Gwynnie has an amazing figure but I think she's one of those women that other women rather than men would class as beautiful.

JamesJazz Sat 04-May-13 17:48:10

Haven't rea the whole thread, but just jumping on to say that the ugliest person I ever knew was blonde and slim.

She was far too naturally thin, and ate the worst diet I think I have ever witnessed (think constant fizzy drinks and sweets, sugar sugar sugar basically). Perhaps because of this, she had crap teeth and skin.

But moreover, she was a horrible, mean, vindictive and spiteful woman, an by god it showed. In the things she said and did, and it made her about as unattractive as can possibly be. If she'd been a nice, kind person, I doubt I'd even have noticed the physical attributes that made her so unattractive.

The hilarious thing was, she photographed really, really well- such a huge contrast from reality. And she clearly thought she was attractive because she ticked the 'blonde and thin' box. <laughs heartily>

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 17:48:16

1960s era Catherine Deneuve, I'm going to put a request in that I get to look like her in one of my next lives.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 04-May-13 17:49:52

Helena Christensen is who I'd like to look like in my next life.

thebody Sat 04-May-13 17:49:53

Gwynnie is pretty but imagine excruciating company. Can you imagine her letting her hair down and lighting her farts?

Agree re Emma she's very pretty.

I think other things like a nice smile, dimples and warm personality.

You can be tall, blind and slim and have a face like a bag of spanners too.

MarshaBrady Sat 04-May-13 17:50:37

Gwynnie is looking prettier lately. Better than the very, very pale blonde straightened hair circa crying Oscars years.

Tall and blonde, well you can be pretty or beautiful or you might not be. Just like anyone else.

BreasticlesNTesticles Sat 04-May-13 17:52:23

Can anyone link to the other thread as I can't find the blooming thing?

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 17:54:10
mrsjay Sat 04-May-13 17:56:18

I think anybody who answers are you beautiful on a thread needs to get their head out of their bums tbh

mrsjay Sat 04-May-13 17:56:40

I am obviously a munter to have said that though wink

Of course not all tall, slim blondes are beautiful. Have you never heard the acronym BOBFOC - body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch.

ComposHat Sat 04-May-13 17:59:40

yanbu tall blond and slim?

I give you Peter Crouch.

mrsjay Sat 04-May-13 18:00:56

he has a pretty wife so she must think he is stunning I think it is the mullet that got her and not his millions

SoleSource Sat 04-May-13 18:04:03

I am tall, long blond hair and stunning!

ComposHat Sat 04-May-13 18:05:19

I can't think what else would have attracted her to the multi millionaire Peter Crouch.

To give him his due he did give one of my favourite answers to a questionnaire.

Q. What would you have been of you hadn't been a footballer?

A. A virgin

BreasticlesNTesticles Sat 04-May-13 18:05:24

Thank you squoosh

MarshaBrady Sat 04-May-13 18:05:40

ha very good.

SoleSource Sat 04-May-13 18:07:31

Compos lol

mrsjay Sat 04-May-13 18:07:56

the man has a point grin

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 04-May-13 18:10:01

I do agree MrsJay, though I sometimes wonder if they're just very honest and confident.
Though if everybody is as beautiful as they say they are, MN must be the best looking website on the Internet.
There's one particular poster who always comes on with a link to her profile, saying she's never been confident about her looks and she's stunning.
I think some just come on to fish for compliments.

I think I'd sooner shag Peter Crouch than Wayne Rooney.

ilovexmastime Sat 04-May-13 18:35:12

Wouldn't anyone Akiss?!

loofet Sat 04-May-13 18:39:23

I've never met a man irl who has a preference for hair colour or who likes tall women. Honestly. All the guys i've met prefer shorter women, definitely shorter than themselves. I even met a couple of guys who liked women in the 5 foot region. And all of them weren't arsed about hair colour either. Ime the criteria always seems to be 'nice eyes' or either nice legs/boobs/arse depending on which sort of man they are grin

Fwiw I think yanbu and I agree with you. I can't think of a tall, slim blonde i've ever looked at and gone 'wow!' Does SJP count? I think she's beautiful, but then I guess I have a weird taste- I also think Gaynor Faye is stunning which always seems to raise eyebrows and I don't know why! smile

BeCool Sat 04-May-13 18:41:24

To the shallow, it probably does.

GetOrfMoiLand Sat 04-May-13 18:41:51

I am very tall, thin and blonde.

I am emphatically not beautiful.

I am a twat though.

Where do I fit in in this Venn diagram then? grin

Poor old Peter Crouch. His upper jaw bone is too big for his head.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Sat 04-May-13 18:44:48

BEauty is in the eye of the beholder - there is no objective definition of it.
So some will find blonde, slim and tall pretty whilst others will find short dumpy and redhead attractive. Takes all sorts.

RhondaJean Sat 04-May-13 18:54:25

Loofet as a brunette I can tell you there are a lot of men with preferences re hair colour...

CherryMeg Sat 04-May-13 19:10:52

To the shallow, it probably does

So you think Donatella Versace is beautiful then?

littlepeas Sat 04-May-13 19:20:08

There is this amazing quote from Roald Dahl's The Twits:

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

It is one of the truest things I have ever read.

I love that quote from The Twits...Roald Dahl wrote some amazing things.

I used to be tall, slim and blonde...not I'm tall, not so slim (size 14-16) and blue grin

Obviously I'm astoundingly gorgeous...and modest to boot (or is that modestly gorgeous...a but like an old boot?)

Tall, slim, blonde women CAN be beautiful...but not always. Beauty comes in many different shapes, forms, sizes etc.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou Sat 04-May-13 19:39:22

I'm very not tall (shortarse) and have very short dark hair. Not fat but too curvy to be thin/slim. I think (possible wrongly) that I am better looking now than when I was 18 and had waist length blonde hair.

grumpyinthemorning Sat 04-May-13 20:35:10

IMO Mila Kunis is stunning, and she's small and curvy with dark hair. She's far prettier than any twiggy peroxide supermodel types.

It's not like it really matters, beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder!

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 04-May-13 20:50:15

Yanbu. Being tall and slim makes it likely you have a good figure but facially you could be a right munter. Blonde hair is neither here nor there (you could be rough or attractive, that depends on your face not your hair colour).

SantanaLopez Sat 04-May-13 21:00:55

YANBU. Look at all the Spaniards and Italians who are drop dead gorgeous.

I don't think you are a twat if you know you are attractive!

williaminajetfighter Sat 04-May-13 22:26:35

I think men turn at tall, slim blonde women but they're not necessarily the ones that men want to sleep with. As evidenced by what others are saying. Sometimes I think the interest is because the combination of Tall +slim + blonde is so rare.

However women with these attributes, certainly the ones I've known, seem to think they're beautiful even if they have a face like a bag of spanners or personality to boot.

Personally I would rather look like Isabella Rosellini or Hedy Lamarr.

As for Gwyneth, i dont see it. the thin lips, massive jaw and thin hair plastered on her huge head is not pretty. But she looks groomed and like she has money which can be confused with prettiness.

MiniTheMinx Sat 04-May-13 23:06:18

My father always said blonde women smelt funny confused I have a theory though, most men have a preference for women not too dissimilar to their mothers in terms of colouring.

Most of my blonde friends are single none, friends with dark hair are attached.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 23:07:54

I hate when it comes down to blonde women v brunette women. Really, hair colour is no predictor of a happy and successful married life!

neunundneunzigluftballons Sat 04-May-13 23:10:32

Agree op we use the phrase body off bay watch face off crime watch for just such situations

MiniTheMinx Sat 04-May-13 23:17:47

Hair colour is not a predictor of a happy married life, just as it isn't in terms of attractive. Beauty is subjective. The only thing I can think is that sometimes those very pretty blonde girls are treated differently as children. "ah isn't she pretty" that shapes personality and expectations. My blonde friends, whether tall or short all give off the impression that they "know" they are pretty.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 23:21:11

All your blonde friends? I've truly never noticed that blonde women are more aloof than brunettes. Especially since many women go from blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 04-May-13 23:22:42

What a ridiculous post MiniTheMinx.

MiniTheMinx Sat 04-May-13 23:35:33

I'm just saying that the friends I have who are blonde, seem to "know" they are pretty. I don't think they are deluded, I just think they have probably been treated differently on account of being naturally blonde. I do think there is a western cultural bias towards thinking blondes are prettier. Do I think they are twats, no. Do I think it makes them happier or more fulfilled, no, not at all.

threepiecesuite Sat 04-May-13 23:51:21

I'm tall, blonde and slim and have the face like a bag of spanners to match. Lucky me.

clattypatty Sun 05-May-13 00:01:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goodasgold Sun 05-May-13 00:07:14

I find this thread to be really bitchy.

If women are asked what makes them attractive and they answer, does it make them less attractive or less nice people?

If somebody says I like my face/arse/legs/tummy, does it make them lesser people?

If a woman likes her appearance does it make her less attractive?

Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.

squoosh Sun 05-May-13 00:09:36

Most people are quick to point out their perceived physical failings I think it's great when they can also point out their physical highlights.

There's enough low self esteem in the world.

goodasgold Sun 05-May-13 00:28:08

Exactly, why not be happy to be blonde/red head/brunette thin middle size or thick. With a bad nose bad ass or bad skin.

OP if the women answering are happy what is your beef? Good on them I say.

yaimee Sun 05-May-13 00:28:41

I'm.not sure it matters whether being tall, thin and blonde makes you automatically beautiful.
The women who answer positively to a thread asking if they think they are pretty should be applauded.
We are constantly judged and judge ourselves so harshly, to be able to say 'yes I think I'm pretty' and then list some of the things that we like about ourselves is something that we should all be able to do, and feel proud to do.

CherryMeg Sun 05-May-13 00:57:23

If a woman likes her appearance does it make her less attractive?

Sometimes.

CornflowerB Sun 05-May-13 01:05:45

As the brunette mother of a very blonde daughter I can confirm that blondes attract a huge amount of attention and admiration that a brunette would never ever get. It must affect your perception of yourself as a blonde. 'Oh my god she' s so blonde! Oh look at her hair! Oh she's gorgeous! oh you'd want to be careful someone will steal her confused etc etc'

squoosh Sun 05-May-13 01:08:20

Yes but very few people grow up having retained their flaxen childhood locks.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Sun 05-May-13 03:37:39

Everyone says I look like one of the women mentioned as beautiful on this thread! Well, really people say I look like her gone a bit wrong, like she had been slightly melted or something. I'm this close to beautiful i.e funny looking.

Punkatheart Sun 05-May-13 18:55:17

You are a melted beauty, Orange?

Now I am thinking about cheese on toast, or chocolate fondue. Yum.

Guess the slim thing will go out of the window. Oh well.

mrsjay Mon 06-May-13 10:11:03

*There's one particular poster who always comes on with a link to her profile, saying she's never been confident about her looks and she's stunning.
I think some just come on to fish for compliments.*

I think you are probably right

Punkatheart Mon 06-May-13 11:56:14

I have lost the ability to assess myself, really.

But not fishing for compliments, because you can't see me.

On the Internet - we are ALL beautiful.

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:02:23

to me 'pretty' is regular symmetrical features. It's also a sort of compliance with the notion of making the most of yourself. You might not want to. You might have the equipment to be pretty but not choose that.

I know what you mean OP though. I used to work with a girl who was 6', had long blond hair, and she loved herself. Which was nice for her. SHe was genuinely confused, baffled, nearly sulking in fact, when I got some attention. She took it as a personal insult that somebody might like a shorter woman with brown hair. ANd it's not like we were in competition with each other. Well i wasn't in competition with HER, but she entered us both into the competition I think!! poor sad case that girl.

none of us is obliged to be pretty though. I say to my daughter, you're not obliged to be pretty you know . As she's carefully choosinng what colour nail varnish to wear on monday hmm

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:04:38

oh god, that roald dahl quote from the twits!

that's why i need botox. my kdis have driven me to botox. it's their fault.

My opinion is fuck modesty, I often wonder what more I could of achieved if I hadn't have had such poor self esteem, linked to appearance bullying during my teens. I was and still am beautiful, I am not saying that physical appearance is the most important thing, but it is were all advertising hits us, whilst we are growing up. I have teen DD's and they have a lot of friends round my house, I do my best to constantly boost their self esteem and teach them to be kind to other females. This is one area that feminism has got absolutely right. I wish every teen girl could see how they really look. Living in our society we are never going to completely remove putting importance on how we look. Western society always put a racist twist on "beauty". We should big up what is good about ourselves, you can do that without putting others down. There is nothing worst than self depreciation and negativity. Women's bodies change. I can remember being asked by a man, if I was disappointed in my ageing body, as if I should be. Well, no, its served me well, my purpose has never been purely ornamental, as much as I have often looked "stunning".

carabos Mon 06-May-13 12:25:39

Birds you are right about the beautiful teens. I remember my GM taking a photograph of me dressed for a night out/ party when I was about 14. She told me she was doing it because "you will never be as beautiful as you are now".

That boost to self esteem for a skinny, pale brunette with a blonde best friend was priceless. From that day forward to today aged 50 I have believed I am pretty - not world beating, but what I call "ordinary pretty" in the way that the vast majority of women are.

We live in a world where looks matter - really matter so it's crucial that we big up ourselves, our friends, our daughters to recognise all of their gifts and properly see their own beauty - blonde, dark, ginger, sky blue pink, whatever - all of us have something that makes us beautiful, even against conventional standards.

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:28:08

Same here, another with poor self-esteem. But PART (and only part) of that comes, but very definitely does come, from having freckles, curly hair, being short, not being blonde. I think the tall blondes are getting messages from society that they internalise, and it's maybenot cockiness so much as that their self esteems haven't been damaged my society. That tall blonde but very plain girl I mentioned a few posts back, I didn't resent that believed she was beautiful, I think I actually was/am jealous that she emerged trhough childhood and young adult without any negative messages about her bodytype and hair colour to internalise. I (and millions of others on the otherhand) got a daily diet of negative messages to internalise.

pastmybbd Mon 06-May-13 12:34:59

When I was young I was tall, blonde and slim, but beautiful?? Er, don't think so. I wasn't ugly either though. Just average.

Being tall must have made me quite threatening to men as I NEVER got chatted up. I even had to approach DH and make the first move. IME men are sometimes intimidated by tall women. Although I am also quite feisty, so perhaps that didn't make me attractive.

I would have loved my girl to be shorter as I think it's something that works much better for women. There seems to be a biological imperative for men to protect women. The more Amazonian we appear, the less men respond. My daughter, however, is so comfy in her own skin and I think that will make her more attractive than I ever was.

HotCrossPun Mon 06-May-13 12:44:06

The last person who I looked at and I thought - you look lovely, was the woman who won the Great British Sewing Bee. She had great style, looked graceful and elegant and I has awesome hair.

I don't think there is a format for beauty, so YANBU grin

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:46:54

I wish! ARgh. I'm short. And single. I have had all the children i'm every having thank you but I think men who are short of tall themselves don't want to have children with short women. So, I'd say men who are comfortably tall don't care, but shorter men want women nearly their own height. So if you're 5'5-5'6 you're laughing I think. shorter or taller, it could be factor. Not always of course, but just coud be

Wannabestepfordwife Mon 06-May-13 12:55:44

Yanbu all dp's exs are tall blonde and slim one was a trog but the rest were stunning.

I'm still surprised he ended up with me a 5ft2 curvy redhead (was a natural blonde) I will never know.

If I could look like anyone I think it would have to be Natalie wood

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