to think my sons might celebrate my birthday?

(41 Posts)
AncientCrone Fri 03-May-13 13:41:08

I am 94 today <pause for appropriate adulation>

I am in poor health and have had little to live for since my DH died 15 years ago. I have two sons who are the apple(s) of my eye as long as you ignore the bit where I sent them off to boarding school when they were 6 and then buggered off to France for most of their adulthood. Anyway, that's all in the past now, my world revolves around me them.

Obviously I'm in God's waiting room now, so this birthday could very well be my last. AIBU to think it is utterly unreasonable for my eldest DS to have gone on holiday so he isn't here today to celebrate with me? I know he didn't really want to and my bloody- DIL made him --I have to cling to this belief for my own sanity.

AncientCrone Fri 03-May-13 13:41:52

I am very old so can't work strike outs blush

HerrenaHandbasket Fri 03-May-13 13:42:16

This is a reverse AIBU, right?

crypes Fri 03-May-13 13:42:41

Where are your mum and dad, why can't they help out?????

AncientCrone Fri 03-May-13 13:44:44

My mum and dad have been dead for about 40 years confused

megandraper Fri 03-May-13 13:44:52

Well, sounds like there's a lot of past history to this.

But YANBU. I think at 94, it'd be nice to have family around on your birthday since it may be your last.

crypes Fri 03-May-13 13:46:35

Go to the pub then, meet someone,get laid , prob solved.

AncientCrone Fri 03-May-13 13:47:00

Herrena not exactly. But I am an unusually computer-savvy 94 yo wink

AncientCrone Fri 03-May-13 13:47:44

I haven't got laid since the 1970s confused Plus I would probably break a hip.

Wouldntyouliketoknow Fri 03-May-13 14:09:30

Hmm...is there any way your 'son' could've booked the holiday so it didn't fall on your birthday? He is being a bit unreasonable I suppose.

But at least you have your other son there!

You're the evil DIL, right? grin

TigerSwallowTail Fri 03-May-13 14:20:37

I'm not sure if yabu or not tbh, I'm sure it would have been nice to have him there for your birthday but it also sounds like there is a lot of issues from the past too when you weren't there either.

TigerSwallowTail Fri 03-May-13 14:21:04

And happy birthday thanks wine

This is freaking me out,I had never considered I may still be on here at 94...another 50 years

It's good to know God's waiting room has t'internet.

That was no use obviously sorry.

onedev Fri 03-May-13 14:36:33

I don't think YABU - it would be lovely to have your sons around you on your 94th birthday & it's sad that one doesn't feel that way.

Obviously I've no idea what went on I your past but I'm not surprised you're disappointed (& if you're the DIL, why was the holiday booked for this time of year?).

50shadesofvomit Fri 03-May-13 14:45:03

Do they usually celebrate your birthday with you?

brass Fri 03-May-13 14:52:33

meh. karma doesn't stop for birthdays

MansView Fri 03-May-13 14:57:29

yeah, my mam's expecting me to do stuff for her 65th birthday this year...but she's never done sweet fa for my main birthdays - 18th, 21st, or my 40th (the other year) - I'll simply get her a card with a tenner in like any other year...

IsItMeOr Fri 03-May-13 14:59:44

Nobody would describe themselves in the terms of the OP. But I'll play...

I may be unduly harsh, but unless you're very close to your sons and routinely see them for your birthday, then I don't think 94 is a "special" birthday.

I'd be more concerned about what your relationship with them is like for the other 364 days of the year.

nenevomito Fri 03-May-13 15:08:03

You've had 94 of the bloody things, aren't you bored of them yet?

brass Fri 03-May-13 16:53:26

GMIL has been promising threatening to expire for the last 13 years but is 91 and still around bless her

quoteunquote Fri 03-May-13 19:51:59

well don't worry next year will come round fast enough, the years get faster as you get older,

When you are one, a year is your whole life, when you are 2 it's half your life, when you are 95, well if you have a good nap it will be here before you know it.

AncientCrone Sat 04-May-13 22:19:30

Wouldn't Both my sons and evil DILs are retired, so really they could go any time. They left on Wednesday, my birthday was on Friday. It's a UK trip. I think they could go any time, they might disagree wink

Tigerswallow Thank you smile

50shades I can't remember blush They made a big fuss for my 90th a few years ago. I always get a card from both of them.

Isitme I live next door to both of them, so geographically we're close but they both travel a lot now they're retired sad And also I don't see them as often as I would like to. They look after me in terms of doing shopping, sorting out bills, etc but I get the distinct impression that their world doesn't revolve around me, even though I'm their mummy sad

quote It might not for me though sad

Thanks for all the replies, I genuinely don't know if IABU or not. I think I'm probably not wink but my granddaughter thinks I might have a touch of NPD

WafflyVersatile Sun 05-May-13 01:36:38

Do what my dad is doing for his 80th. Book all of you on a holiday together that they will hate and present it to them as a fait accompli.

somedayma Sun 05-May-13 02:20:11

what an unpleasant spiteful reverse post

PurplePidjin Sun 05-May-13 04:22:56

Yabu simply because you sound like my Gran who's been guilt tripping the whole family for nigh on two decades because "this year might be my last" hmm

Old people are like toddlers - selfish and irrational or maybe it's just mine

Kafri Sun 05-May-13 04:51:55

NPD - in so far as attention seeking - definitely

completely made up/reverse post - definitely also!

what exactly have you got out of this waste of time OP?

Roshbegosh Sun 05-May-13 05:54:37

Well Kafri I enjoyed this thread

Kafri Sun 05-May-13 06:17:29

well yeah, it was amusing. just don't get where some people get their ideas from grin

TidyDancer Sun 05-May-13 07:04:33

I know this is a reverse AIBU, but I think the 94-year-old is entirely reasonable to want her family around her on her birthday. It is quite mean to go away and leave someone on a special day when you can go away at any time of the year.

The OP/DIL sounds spiteful.

Geordieminx Sun 05-May-13 07:12:27

Are you the Queen?

exoticfruits Sun 05-May-13 07:12:37

Assuming that you are one of the evil DILs I would say that she is very lucky to be well enough to live at home, with both DSs close by - so enjoy the break. (Especially as she seems somewhat demanding).

Deffodil Sun 05-May-13 13:19:34

Hilarious ACgrin Any sqeakes about leaving your children out of your will? Do they mind?

Deffodil Sun 05-May-13 13:21:52

Chinese phone.

Roshbegosh Sun 05-May-13 13:25:59

I must be dim, I thought this was all a joke, not a DIL.

Deffodil Sun 05-May-13 13:30:34

I assumed it was DIL posting.

Roshbegosh Sun 05-May-13 13:37:35

I'm new to mumsnet, will be less gullible now. It was amusing but seems less so now I have twigged as they could holiday around the birthday.

Deffodil Sun 05-May-13 14:14:15

Rosh,maybe I'm being cynical. I recognise the scenario though. My brother can't be bothered to see my mum at all,and I don't blame him.

AncientCrone Sat 11-May-13 00:22:02

Sorry, I am terrible for starting threads and then not updating blush

I'm really not an evil DIL wink just a (tangentially involved) observer. I actually agree with the old lady/OP, I think it is a shame her sons couldn't stick around to celebrate her possibly last birthday but a couple of people I mentioned it to thought it was an absurd thing for her to be upset about, so thought I'd ask opinions here. Thought it would be more interesting writing from the ancient crone's POV but wanted to make it clear that she wasn't a sweet old lady who'd been abandoned by her feckless family. I just wasn't counting on you vipers being so suspicious of a clearly fallible narrator wink

Few things that have occurred to me:

- it's quite possible that she isn't actually particularly bothered about her birthday, but is just using it as a convenient reason for a bit of emotional blackmail.

- there was also recently a very big family party for her counterpart's (ie her sons' MIL) 90th birthday, big family do with lots of fuss for other old lady etc. I suspect she might not be able to distinguish the difference between 90th/94th birthday and according levels of fuss (NPD is a distinct possibility!) ... but then I suppose 94th is also a greater achievement!

- apparently when DIL's DC presented her with a cake for a recent birthday of the DIL's, the old lady told her DIL that she was being ridiculous and celebrating birthdays was for kids, so DIL thought she wouldn't want a fuss.

Anyway, that is probably tl; dr ... Thanks to all those who shared their thoughts smile

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