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to think most people would assume you share tapas?

(107 Posts)
AaDB Thu 02-May-13 21:32:40

Why suggest going for tapas, take part in a discussion to ensure a good mix is ordered and then take your food and say you will not be sharing?

StuntGirl Thu 02-May-13 21:34:29

I would be hmm

I sometimes get one dish to myself because I'm vegetarian and can't always share in everyone else's but everything else gets shared!

gail734 Thu 02-May-13 21:37:03

Tbh the sharing is the one reason I'm not mad about tapas! Who wouldn't share, OP?

maddening Thu 02-May-13 21:41:14

I've gone for tapas as it was someone else's bday/leaving do etc but as a veggie who doesn't like spicy food I just had to order a couple of things for just me otherwise I would have had a bit of garlic bread and one bit of omelette. No dietary issues withstanding yanbu

MagicHouse Thu 02-May-13 21:45:14

YANBU, but the trouble with tapas is that the portions are often so minute that "sharing" often means the couple of people who get to the dish first! I'm always starving after a meal of tapas. I guess I would make sure that more than one dish was ordered if it were something I really liked!

LittleMissLucy Thu 02-May-13 21:46:07

I would say "so are we sharing or are we each going to pick one or two that we want" unless I was with my husband, a Spanish friend (of which i have several). I wouldn't assume anything if I was with someone I hadn't eaten tapas with before.

DiscoDonkey Thu 02-May-13 21:46:42

How weird! Although when it comes to Chinese my order is mine and everyone else can bog off!

Speedos Thu 02-May-13 21:46:42

YANBU however sharing food is my least favourite meal out!

DiscoDonkey Thu 02-May-13 21:47:45

I would hate going for tapas and being limited to one or two dishes, that's why it's great to go in a group so you can order lots of different things

trixymalixy Thu 02-May-13 21:50:49

YANBU, tapas is for sharing. Which is precisely why I don't like it as you always end up having to compromise. I'd much rather just choose my own food.

AaDB Thu 02-May-13 21:52:42

Not a veggie or requiring a special diet. Friend was adamant that they didn't want to share food. If someone suggests tapas or a Chinese banquet, I would assume a share or even a taste is on the cards.

If sharing is a problem it is worth mentioning before the plates arrive at the table. I'd hate for someone to be stressed out when we are having a lovely night.

It is a bit like the extremely fussy people that go on Come Dine With Me.

starfishmummy Thu 02-May-13 21:54:38

I think it would depend on who I was with. DH and I like different things so we would each have dishes just for ourselves as well as sharing ones. With other people I would say upfront if I wanted something to myself!

The good thing with tapas is that you can order more!!

I believe tapas is for sharing but when I go with DH and the DSs (both teenagers), we have to order quite a lot before we feel like we have been fed.

sue52 Thu 02-May-13 21:55:31

The whole point of Tapas is to share a variety of dishes over a drink with friends. YANBU.

zipzap Thu 02-May-13 22:10:23

I think it depends on how many are in the group and the size of portions the restaurant serves.

If, say, you absolutely love the little lamb kebabs that come with 3 on a plate with a special sauce but a couple of others love the meatballs that come with 4 or 5 in a dish, so they get a couple of dishes - then if there are several of you at the meal, there's a high chance that you will get only 1 or none of your little lamb kebabs that you are really fond of, whereas the people that like meatballs will get a couple each plus there are some extras for others to have one each to try, so they can't see a problem with having one of your kebabs if you are having one of their meatballs. Can all end up very out of sync if you are the person whose favourite dish disappears before you get to it and all you end up with is a meatball or two that nobody else wanted when you don't even like meatballs...

In which case - I think it is reasonable to say that you want to keep your lamb kebabs for yourself as you don't like meatballs, if others want some to try then they can order some for themselves. If you end up in a group where there are some people that are greedy or selfish you can find yourself having a very unsatisfying meal whilst they think that it's marvellous because they've taken all the really nice stuff and nobody else gets a look in.

On the other hand, things like your patas bravas and tortilla that everybody wants a scoop or slice of as a basic part of the meal, then it is sensible to order xx of each for the table, see how it goes down and then decide whether or not the table needs more of either of them. So ordering these as a table makes much more sense as chances are you're not going to want to eat a whole portion of both but starting off with some and then adding more as needed (and when you can see which you like the best and fancy some more of) makes good sense, plus means you don't end up with lots of uneaten food.

I used to go to a lovely spanish restaurant with friends. Going with one or two friends, we were able to order between ourselves and would share the food, it was ordered on that basis and we knew what we liked and that we would both get enough of the bits we liked. However in bigger groups - we would definitely order one or two things each along with some sharing things. Then you could have your fill of the bits you wanted and if there was anything left over you could open it up for others to have - or swap something with a neighbour as you wanted, that way everyone is happy.

Sorry it's not a simple answer!

However I do agree that it's plain odd to take part in a discussion about getting a good mix and then say that their food is not up for grabs - are they expecting to be able to grab at other's food though?

AaDB Thu 02-May-13 22:10:48

I am glad my friend could say what they wanted. I will ask in future. I really didn't realise how difficult some people find it to share food.

I think not wanting to share or allow a taste of tapas is a bit strange. I think if you suggest tapas, sharing is implied. You could order meals or meze boards.

Viviennemary Thu 02-May-13 22:13:53

I think it's OK going for a shared meal like this with close family then you can say hey leave some for me. But it's not so easy with others. But if you only get one dish of something it's difficult enough to share with two people never mind more. Everyone gets a tiny morsel.

AaDB Thu 02-May-13 22:14:58

Zipzap, not sharing meant that one person would have got patatas bravas and chick peas. Good job everyone else shared.

bollockstoit Thu 02-May-13 22:16:53

I think it's nice to share with whoever you are with even when it's not tapas

AmberLeaf Thu 02-May-13 22:20:55

I love Tapas, but if you are in a group bigger than 3-4, it is not enjoyable IMO.

DontmindifIdo Thu 02-May-13 22:22:29

tapas is one of those meals where the assumption is sharing, I do think the onus should be on the person who has an issue with sharing to either steer a group away from the sort of meal where dishes go in the middle and you share, or to say before ordering that they would like to keep their dishes just for themself - allowing other people to work out what they would like to share (and not thinking, "oh, I won't order patatas bravas because X has" just to find X won't share).

If you really have a problem with sharing, you should be the one to make allowances when you are in a social situation where sharing is what's expected (although I do believe it's best not to trust someone who won't share food)

AmberLeaf Thu 02-May-13 22:23:10

Even the thought of a larger group meal of Tapas makes me feel stabby!

Good points zipzap

AmberLeaf Thu 02-May-13 22:26:54

The sharing of Tapas; you are meant to go for the larger portions if you intend to share dishes. The typical small dishes are not really to be shared.

catgirl1976 England Thu 02-May-13 22:40:18

shock shock shock

YADNBU

If someone broke the Tapas sharing law I would tip my Patas Bravas over their heads

Of course you share Tapas

The whole point of it being that you order waaaayy more food than is polite because you can fudge it around two or more of you sharing and you get a bit of everything you fancy

Am horrified some people would seek to ruin this. Savages.

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 02-May-13 22:53:57

I hate sharing food. Maybe the friend didn't understand the Tapas rules?

Maggie111 Thu 02-May-13 23:02:14

Tapas is my idea of a nightmare - food gets all mixed up, I'd rather eat what I ordered than have 30% of what I'd like and a mix of what everyone else thinks is good.

I always say to friends I don't like tapas when it is suggested - and push for another restaurant.... However if everyone wants to go I could go along with the crowd and depending on how the conversation went I might not pipe up "this is my food by the way" before it even arrives..

If people were asking each other "What are you going to order? I'm going to order x, if you order y we could also get z..."

I might just sit there and think it would be a bit weird to say "Well I'm ordering ABC and you can't have ANY!"

Yuk tapas!

plantsitter Thu 02-May-13 23:08:40

I only go for Tapas with people I know well enough to say things like 'oi! Stop eating all the pimentos!'. Otherwise the silent tension of desperately wanting the last garlic mushroom yet being too polite to eat it or watching as someone else pops it down their neck is too much for me.

whois Thu 02-May-13 23:25:56

I only go for Tapas with people I know well enough to say things like 'oi! Stop eating all the pimentos!'

^This

Or to places where you order a couple of dishes at a time ad jus keep on going, ordering more of the same if required. Tapas with more than 4 people is always a disaster tho.

starfishmummy Thu 02-May-13 23:31:40

Tapas started as a morsel of food to go with a drink; so by that reckoning they are not for sharing.

Nagoo Thu 02-May-13 23:40:10

When I've been in a big group we've tended to split into little factions and order a few dishes between each pair/ threesome.

I usually only go with DH.

I love tapas. Almost as much as I love the complicated and correct post about the little kebabs grin

nobeer Thu 02-May-13 23:42:29

Sorry Catgirl, totally disagree. The idea of tapas is so that you can have a try 2 or 3 different things yourself, not necessarily share a small dish with half a dozen others. Now if there's a big group of you, and you all want a tapa in common, then fine, ask for a plate of meatballs or whatever instead of a tapa and share to your hearts content.

Binkybix Thu 02-May-13 23:47:44

I can't relax when having tapas in a group unless it's close friends and we can explicitly agree how many prawns each etc etc.

GladbagsGold Thu 02-May-13 23:49:16

We once went for tapas with what turned out to be a non-sharing couple. It was not fun. It's tapas. The LAW is you share!!!

Only exception is Joey Tribiani.

CoffeeChocolateWine Thu 02-May-13 23:58:26

This reminds me of an occasion years ago when I worked as a team secretary at a company. I was arranging a team lunch for about 8 of us and asked everyone how they would feel about tapas for a change. No complaints so I booked.

So we're at the tapas restaurant and I suggest (obviously) that we choose a load of dishes and share them. One person pipes up that they're just going to order something for themselves and didn't want to share. Then another says they're not sharing either and so it goes on. EVERYBODY ends up ordering their own food and doesn't want to share!!?? Then when the food turns up they just looked at it as if to say "what the f**k is this? This isn't a meal!" and blame me for clearly booking a bit of a crap restaurant! I couldn't believe how ignorant these people were!! Everyone knows what tapas are don't they and the point of them??

I was gobsmacked and I felt sooooooooooooo embarassed for the waiter as all these twats people I worked with started commenting on the pokey portion sizes. I still cringe just thinking about it...

CoffeeChocolateWine Fri 03-May-13 00:02:11

I learnt from this that as some posters have already said, only go with people you know well! For some reason I thought it could be a nice team bonding type of lunch! WRONG!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 03-May-13 00:02:21

Yes, to not share is to fundamentally not understand tapas

There are rules and everything.

GreenEggsAndNichts Fri 03-May-13 00:02:43

I don't like tapas for this reason. grin I could share with one other person, no problem, but once there are 3-4-more, forget it. Too many people ordering what they want and probably not what I want. It goes from me knowing I'll like at least 50% of the offerings to possibly only liking 25%.

I fret over these things.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 03-May-13 00:03:50

Maggie

You are soo losing out though. One tapas dish is boooring.

IMO

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 03-May-13 00:07:57

The place I like just has a counter full and everybody just helps themselves and they keep track with different types of cocktail sticks.

So it is sharing but its not

MidniteScribbler Fri 03-May-13 00:14:26

It depends on the group. My family and some friends are absolutely no problem. They share. But there are a few groups that I wouldn't go near tapas without a ruler to slap their hands. I had to go to a work thing at tapas once and it was a nightmare. "Oh lets all order two plates and then share" turned out to be me sitting there with no food because as soon as it arrived, they were like vultures, scooping half the dish of food on to their plates. It was really quite gross seeing grown adults acting like that over food. I had to stop at McDonalds on the way home. Now, I just say I'm busy and can't go.

KenDoddsDadsDog Chile Fri 03-May-13 00:15:10

I don't assume sharing - just get a bit if what I like.
And a pata is a hoof or paw. It's papas bravas if you are looking for a shortened word for potato.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Fri 03-May-13 03:38:00

03:33am, night feed. no tapas.....buggrit sad

Mmmmmm meatballs....Mmmmmm patas whatsits...Mmmmmm food <stares sadly at brown spotty banana>

Eastpoint Fri 03-May-13 03:48:42

GladBagsGold If I could go for tapas with Joey Tribbiani I'd let him break all the sharing rules.

ripsishere Fri 03-May-13 03:57:36

I went for tapas with my DD a couple of weeks ago. It cost a fortune and was minting. She had baby squid (they were minuscule) in batter. They were so teeny it could just have been batter TBH.
I had papas bravas (although they were advertised as patata).
My top tip is don't eat Spanish food in Penang. It doesn't travel.

ripsishere Fri 03-May-13 03:57:54

it was actually minging.

MusicalEndorphins Fri 03-May-13 05:05:04

Are Tapa's appetizers?

MusicalEndorphins Fri 03-May-13 05:11:02

Ok, I googled them. I never realized there were such cultural differences between Canada and the UK. I have learned many new things on mumsnet! grin It is not uncommon when out with friends or whom ever to order several appetizers to share for lunch or with drinks in the evening. The only time I see people not share was when it was ordered with a meal, as their appetizer.

TheRealFellatio Fri 03-May-13 05:55:22

I am a sharer and a tryer, but it's easy for me because I like most things. People who want their own and no-one else's are usually fussy types. But tapas portions are very small, it's not hard to have your own order and still have a variety as well, without sharing. Probably best if you want to make sure you get some of the thing you really like to just order three or four things for yourself each. maybe keep two and share two. That was everyone gets a decent selection of the things they actually want to try.

that is my logical and well thought out Tapas manifesto. grin

TheRealFellatio Fri 03-May-13 05:56:52

I don't like tapas for this reason. I could share with one other person, no problem, but once there are 3-4-more, forget it. Too many people ordering what they want and probably not what I want. It goes from me knowing I'll like at least 50% of the offerings to possibly only liking 25%.

I fret over these things. Oh yes, so do I. grin

Isiolo Fri 03-May-13 06:22:11

Hahahahahahaha! This has got to be a British thing?! Look at you mentalers completely ruining the whole lovely idea of tapas!

Why on earth go for tapas if you don't like sharing food? That's the whole
point

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Fri 03-May-13 07:30:49

Isiolo, I think the non-sharers are in the minority, judging by the amount of tapas restaurants about I'd say, as a nation, we've embraced the sharing. It is just a few mentallers grin who can't grasp the notion !

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 03-May-13 07:41:56

The whole point of tapas is to share!

I want tapas now.

zoobaby Fri 03-May-13 08:07:48

I definitely need to establish some ground rules for sharing food (absolutely no double dipping, etc). Treating a shared plate as a serving platter with clearly defined serving utensils is perfectly acceptable but to actually eat off it using utensils that have been slobbered on? GAH! I feel physically ill. Have you seen how some people eat?

firesidechat Fri 03-May-13 08:08:21

The sharing of Tapas; you are meant to go for the larger portions if you intend to share dishes. The typical small dishes are not really to be shared.

and

I love Tapas, but if you are in a group bigger than 3-4, it is not enjoyable IMO.

I sort of agree with Amberleaf about this. If I go for Tapas with my daughter or husband, we share, but larger groups would make me stressed. We have a friend who would be a nightmare in this situation. Quite frankly they are a greedy pig , with no concept of sharing. If I had to share a tapas with him I would have to have my own dishes or murder would be committed.

I don't think that YABU or YANBU. I think it depends. Didn't they share anything? That would be a bit a hmm.

DoTheStrand Fri 03-May-13 08:08:34

I have had exactly this problem and was amazed. I went out of dinner with a group of new mums just after DC1 was born (so at that stage where I didn't know them that well). We went to a tapas place, nobody shared and I ended up with potatoes and bread. I have ranted about discussed this a few times since in RL and have been v surprised how many people don't realise you share tapas. Maybe they think it's just food in little bowls.

Since then I have gone to great lengths to find a group of friends who will do what i say love tapas and also know to share.

limitedperiodonly Fri 03-May-13 08:10:26

I hate tapas. Britain already had people who whipped out their calculators at the end of the meal and then we imported something to make it even more miserable.

firesidechat Fri 03-May-13 08:13:13

Also this:

Tapas started as a morsel of food to go with a drink; so by that reckoning they are not for sharing.

The origins of tapas are not as a sharing thing.

Vatta Fri 03-May-13 08:22:46

I think you have to agree before ordering whether you're getting a mix to share or not, I'd never assume that food somebody else ordered was available for the table! The idea of tapas is for each person to get 2 or 3 mini dishes so they can enjoy the variety, I've never seen Spanish people tuck into it like a sharing feast.

SacreBlue Fri 03-May-13 08:26:45

Where you having lunch with Joey from Friends??

We share with close friends and family regardless of the type of food (mostly a 'taste' but my DS has been known to 'taste' his way through quite a lot on my plate if not stopped)

Agree that tapas are best as a wee accompaniment to your own glass but when out for a meal ordering up a tableful is one of the fun things you can do with tapas which you mightn't be able to with starters or main courses

- unless you are with the DS and I as we frequently order lots of starters and one main course all at once then divvy up on the table smile it'll change your life as well as your waistline if you aren't careful!

Bananasinfadedpjs Fri 03-May-13 08:33:47

I've often been out for tapas with people who don't share, I'd say it is about a 50/50 split among my friends and acquaintances, some share, some eat their own.

I personally think a sharing free for all with a big group doesn't work that well - much better for two or three or four people sitting next to each other to choose a range of dishes between them and just share those, rather than trying to eke out the dish round the whole table, if there are a lot of you.

KenDoddsDadsDog Chile Fri 03-May-13 08:40:08

ripishere papas is shortened for patatas. Not patas.

EmilyNugent Fri 03-May-13 08:53:44

I've heard of tapas but no idea what it is/they are. Never had them. Therefore, I wouldn't know whether they were normally shared.

Trill Fri 03-May-13 09:01:23

YANBU to think that sharing tapas is the norm.

If they didn't want to share food then they should have made that clear that the ordering stage.

Trinpy Fri 03-May-13 09:11:35

This reminds me of one time dh went out for tapas, there was a middle aged couple on the table next to us who both ordered 1 meat dish and 2 veg dishes each then transferred it all to theif plates to eat like a 'proper' meal. Thus completely missing the whole point of tapas. It amused me because it is the kind of thing my parents would do (only people I know who eat pizza with a knife and fork).

Trinpy Fri 03-May-13 09:12:13

dh and I

AaDB Fri 03-May-13 09:50:36

confused just had a text from friend asking if we want to go to my fave tapas bar. She wants to bring partners and I don't think it's a good idea.
There are a few man mountains that could eat for England.

12 is too many for sharing.

I think we are better off going for a meal.
I think others have a different tapas manifesto.

badbride Fri 03-May-13 10:00:33

May I direct readers and contributors of this thread to the #middleclassproblems hashtag on Twitter? grin

GreenEggsAndNichts Fri 03-May-13 10:02:31

Tapas are better as a bar snack than a meal. If I'm hungry and want a meal, tapas do not fit the bill. Certainly not in a group of 12. shock

SantanaLopez Fri 03-May-13 10:03:16

I really want tapas now.

Trill Fri 03-May-13 10:05:24

12 is too many for sharing, I agree.

Yes, 12 is too big for tapas. There's never enough room to put all the dishes and then what you want is down the other end of the table.

KenDoddsDadsDog Chile Fri 03-May-13 10:20:34

Badbride - I follow that it's funny

GreenEggsAndNichts Fri 03-May-13 10:46:29

oh and this thread reminds me. Almost 15 years ago, or whenever tapas were trendy in the US, I remember moving back to my hometown (DC) for a while. I had worked at a restaurant so I asked a friend if she wanted to go there for dinner. She said oh it's closed, it's a tapas bar now.

In our accent ofc, that sounds exactly like 'topless bar' now. And I was shock at the neighbourhood taking such a turn. grin

shall shut up now.

AaDB Fri 03-May-13 12:44:59

I've spoken to her. She is Laura Tribianni from now on. She likes the food and idea of mixing but does NOT LIKE SHARING with us. I have suggested a meal instead.

Badbride grin - Spoiler Alert - my fave was 'a swan spat in my salsa'

AaDB Fri 03-May-13 23:44:00

Ffs MY oh has just let loose the bombshell they he wouldn't share with a " mixed group of randoms."

SacreBlue Sat 04-May-13 01:49:14

grin @ mixed randoms

Have to say, I wouldn't suggest going with some of my friends as I know they wouldn't like the offerings and I wouldn't particularly want to join them at some of their fav places wetherspoons <boak> so maybe not a bad thing to find a compromise

aurynne Spain Sat 04-May-13 04:19:29

The problem here comes from a big misunderstanding of the term "tapa". In Spain, a "tapa" is a tiny, individual portion of food that is given free with a drink. It is meant for one person. If several people go out to eat, they order "raciones", which are dishes full of one type of food each, and it should be enough for every member of the table to have at least two bits each. So tell the restaurant owners to stop ripping you off and use the correct Spanish term if they want to sell proper Spanish food. What you guys seem to be given is a strange hybrid between a tapa and a racion which wouldn't satisfy any Spaniard. Raciones are also CHEAP and GOOD food. In the "pseudo-Spanish" restaurants I have visited in the UK, ordering a tapa would cost you the same or more than a whole main dish, which is rubbish. Tell them to either open a proper Spanish restaurant with all its implications, or just call it a pub and stop benefiting from the exotic connotations of a Spanish name.

So there :P

2rebecca Germany Sat 04-May-13 07:59:58

I'm in the sharing tapas only works if there are just 2 or 3 of you group. The portions are too small to go round a lot of people. If a large group I'd split into smaller groups for ordering. 1 squid bit and 1 meatball is silly. Also agree that some tapas is designed so one person can try 2 or 3 things others come in bigger portions to share.

AaDB Sat 04-May-13 09:00:37

It's cichetti or Italian side dishes. It is easier to describe as tapas even though it isn't Spanish. I love eating the food of the country I am visiting and like trying new things. The thing I love about being English is that we will take any world cuisine and make it our own. Pasta, curry, homemade kebabs, roast, Thai, Chinese, pancakes and bacon (or anglicised versions of) are all on the weekly menu here and I love that.

IMHO tapas/cichetti are small dishes for sharing. I now see that the concept of sharing food is something that some people have a fundamental problem with. I'd hate for my friend to be uncomfortable and at least I understand that this is an issue now.

I don't eat meat and don't have an issue with not trying half the food. I would have thought that the great thing about sharing this type of food is that you can order more if you want it? I must over order because I always have plenty.

I think the company should be a group of friends, it wouldn't work well if you don't know the other diners.

Any more than 7 and it turns into a buffet.

AmberLeaf Sat 04-May-13 10:11:50

Sharing Tapas in a restaurant setting is a UK marketing concept. [and a rip off]

Not authentic and not how it is 'meant' to be done.

AmberLeaf Sat 04-May-13 10:12:28

UK...or anywhere else outside of Spain.

JennyMackerz Sat 04-May-13 10:18:18

I don't know if you really have to feel inclined to share EVERYTHING do yu? if you order anchoas for example and get 3 on a tiny plate, I don't think you have to share. i used to live in spain and i would have been fairly confident about eating what i ordered myself. obviously if you get more than you think you can eat - push it into the middle. if you order something that is one half of a roasted red pepper with a tiny strip of aubergine and courgette then just pull the dish nearer to you and eat it. I seemed to remember people didn't share as much as we believed they share. I think we panic and take the sharing thing too much on board. It's a more relaxed thing. It's not liek share that god dam you.

JennyMackerz Sat 04-May-13 10:22:20

auryune, true, and often they push the pinchos on you and pinchos (or is it pinxo?) they are free. FREE! do you hear this la tasca?!

AaDB Sat 04-May-13 10:32:31

At the restaurant we go to, they bring a free limited selection around with drinks.

limitedperiodonly Sat 04-May-13 10:35:15

The thing I love about being English is that we will take any world cuisine and make it our own

YY AaDb we don't really have parties of our own but St Patrick's Day, Chinese New Year... we'll join in grin

and YY to amberleaf marketing is the genius curse of this country. Mind you, I was in Florence and an American in my hotel was marvelling that the city didn't have a Starbucks. No, because the Italians can't do coffee, can they? That was a few years ago. The evil empire have probably taken over now.

AmberLeaf Sat 04-May-13 10:42:13

This thread has had me googling Tapas and drooling at the pictures.

McBalls Sat 04-May-13 10:50:41

Add message | Report | Message poster aurynne Sat 04-May-13 04:19:29
The problem here comes from a big misunderstanding of the term "tapa". In Spain, a "tapa" is a tiny, individual portion of food that is given free with a drink. It is meant for one person. If several people go out to eat, they order "raciones", which are dishes full of one type of food each, and it should be enough for every member of the table to have at least two bits each. So tell the restaurant owners to stop ripping you off and use the correct Spanish term if they want to sell proper Spanish food. What you guys seem to be given is a strange hybrid between a tapa and a racion which wouldn't satisfy any Spaniard. Raciones are also CHEAP and GOOD food. In the "pseudo-Spanish" restaurants I have visited in the UK, ordering a tapa would cost you the same or more than a whole main dish, which is rubbish. Tell them to either open a proper Spanish restaurant with all its implications, or just call it a pub and stop benefiting from the exotic connotations of a Spanish name.

So there :P

^^^This^^^, a zillion times ^this!

Have been reading this thread getting more and more incredumalated and then got to aurynne's post and now want to smother her in the oil in which the Gambas al ajillo swim and lick it off. (That's a good thing btw)

I've never had tapas before. I feel like I've missed out on something very important! grin

McBalls Sat 04-May-13 10:54:04

If my licking of you would make you uncomfortable in any way, aurynne, then I'll just dab at you with a nice bit of pan instead.

I once went for tapas with a friend's group of friends. The waiter kept depositing the dishes at one end of the table - by the time they worked their way down my end there was nothing left. I was starving when I got home (and paid an equal share of the meal to add insult to injury).

I'm not a pushover by the way - I just didn't know the group well enough.

Another time I went for tapas with my own friends who insisted on not sharing and ordering our own dishes confused

Despite this, I love tapas but agree - no more than four of you works best grin

NotDavidTennant Sat 04-May-13 11:01:57

I go by the rule that if a dish is ordered by 'the group' then it belongs to the group (and therefore is shared) and if it is ordered by a specific individual then it belongs to that individual (and is only shared at their say so).

Pigsmummy Sat 04-May-13 11:02:29

Did the friend have a say in the restaurant choice? If not might be why they did a Joey?

YonicTheHedgehog Sat 04-May-13 11:04:17

My ex BIL is not a sharer, greedy cunt still bitter

DowntonTrout Sat 04-May-13 11:06:12

aurynne is absolutely right.

Tapas is not a meal. In Spain (Spanish Spain- IYKWIM) you get a tapa with a caneca for say 1€. You go from bar to bar to sample a little morsel with a drink.

If you want a plate of food to share you order a racione. You would go for tapa and drinks in the evening say, then have a proper meal at 10/11 at night. Or you would sit and order raciones to share, bigger plates, over a couple of hours. You would not order everything at once, the dishes would come sporadically, and then you would order more, as you wanted.

The idea of having to sit in a group and order tapas as you get in the UK ( yes the dreaded 3 kebab scenario!) fills me with dread. Especially with gambas. don't touch my gambas!!!

Shakey1500 Greece Sat 04-May-13 11:07:30

I hate sharing food. The first (and last) time I went to a tapas bar, without really appreciating what the score was was horrible. I was happy for others to order, again, not really knowing. Out of all the dishes that arrived there was a paltry selection of about two dishes that I liked. Ended up with a sparrows worth of food and paid £20 for the privilege!

Much prefer to order something I know I'll like and have it on a plate that is ALL MINE grin

McBalls Sat 04-May-13 11:14:56

I have been twice to tapas restaurants here and honestly, the vision of a group of English people politely trying to eke out teeny tiny bowls of bland food and feeling ever so pleased with that despite being absolutely ripped off is pretty depressing.

Really, I'd rather go to a pub and chuck some crisps and peanuts on the table.

AaDB Sat 04-May-13 11:14:57

Limited I will celebrate any event. We are having a Star Wars themed food day today and tomorrow we are having a Mexican feast for Cinco de Mayo day. Monday is bbq - lots of lovely salads and bread, homemade doner kebab, tandoori chicken, salmon and steak. We will share them all.

I'd much rather go for a meal or something to eat than go to a pub. This style of drinking and eating seems like a good compromise; food is either well made and delicious or it isn't. Raciones/cichetti are great. Not so keen on La Tasca/Estilo but mini AaDB likes them.

limitedperiodonly Sat 04-May-13 11:28:44

Star Wars? So you gatecrash intergalactic parties? Respect. grin

AaDB Sat 04-May-13 11:28:44

Pigsmummy We all decided on the bar we wanted to go and I sent a menu plan in case people wanted to eat. We had the option of going for a meal later but we were have a brilliant time and decided to stay in the bar. Friend in question took part in a discussion where by we all decided between us what to order. The inclusion of bread, meat, fish and veggies were debated and discussed. When the waiting staff brought the food Laura 'Tribianni' said 'that's mine and I won't be sharing'. I thought she was joking at first but she was obviously stressed at the very idea of sharing her selection. I think she did have a try of leftovers but wasn't keen to try a selection as it came. We all spent the same on drink and food and the bill was split equally; no calculators required.

I don't think my friend had this type of food before. She has since said she likes the food but not the sharing (fair enough). I would hate to go for this type of food with a greedy guzzler.

AaDB Sat 04-May-13 11:32:17

Limited wine grin I love it. I am AaDB and I am an Intergalactic Party Crasher

limitedperiodonly Sat 04-May-13 11:53:32

I hate this place. Decent food but not enough of it, shockingly expensive and the chiselling bastards do their best to get you out in an hour so they can relieve as many suckers of their cash as they can.

Not surprisingly it's a concept by two English brothers who've been to Spain and worked out that loads of London people have more money than sense.

They also run a place in Soho where you can't book so wait at the expensive bar and then spend half an hour at the table. This wheeze is billed as a boon for the cash-rich, time-poor media executive.

I won't go to any restaurant that's run for their convenience, not mine. Lots of people will though.

AaDB Sat 04-May-13 12:19:41

WTAF is wind dried ham. confused. If you like tough meat that has been playing with flies, this is for you.

If someone ordered lamb brains and olives to share, I would kick them up the arse.

No to "deep fried suckling pig ears" I don't care if they are only pork scratchings

aurynne Spain Sat 04-May-13 23:29:42

JennyMackerz no, unfortunately you pay for pinchos ("pintxos" is the word used in the Basque Country), wish they were free! They are usually 1 euro each in the region I am from (Asturias).

And not every Spanish dish is shared, just the raciones (or tapas if you want to call them like that). That does not mean Spanish people eat raciones or tapas all the time and everywhere, we also have entrees, mains, seconds, sides and desserts as everyone else :P

KenDoddsDadsDog Chile Sun 05-May-13 07:53:20

I loved living in Granada where tapas and pinchos are free! Especially as a greedy student.

JennyMackerz Sun 05-May-13 10:40:29

I am fairly certain i never paid for pinchos. YIKES!!! This was in Elche. I used to knockabout with a guy from Bilbao, so that might be why I insert xes where they aren't there. But this was.... omg, hacía una vez, maybe even in Spain the sound of Kerching, a euro por favor makes sense. tbh, i can't really speak with any authority on what happens in spain because it is 22 years since I lived there. My dd and I are planning a trip, as soon as her braces are paid for :-p

JennyMackerz Sun 05-May-13 10:42:49

I've had pig's tail and it was gorgeous. Like the nicest nicest sausage you have ever tasted. YUM. Not kidding. and i am now largely pescatarian! (these days!)

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