parking trouble - thought man was going to attack me - long

(136 Posts)
tripecity Tue 30-Apr-13 14:01:48

yes, yes, another blue badge themed thread, sorry, but I am really shaken up and not sure what to do.

This morning I drove to drop DD1 at nursery, which has double yellow lines outside. The road is quite narrow, and theres a driveway opposite, so no one parks opposite the drive so the owner can get in and out. A few parents park on the double yellows illegally to drop their kids off; I have a blue badge, so can park there.
When I got there a car had parked up just past opposite the driveway and I wanted to park in front of him, but he had only left a small space, so I did a 50 point parking manoever to get in. All the while the man sat in his car watching me and knowing I was having trouble because he was parked a foot too far forwards which would have made all the difference.

When I was parked, he opened his car door and started shouting at me that I had bumped his car twice whilst trying to park. Now I didnt feel any bumps, but accept he had no reason the lie, but this could have been avoided if he had moved a foot further back instead of choosing instead to watch me struggle. In fact had he not been parking illegally this situation would never have happened.

So I apologised unreservedly and he slammed the car door shut and cut me off, so I told him(loudly so he could hear me through the glass) he shouldnt be there anyway, he said neither should I, so I told him I had a blue badge and he didnt, so actually I could.
He then got out of the car and started shouting at me, waving his arms about, all red in the face and furious. I was worried he was going to attack me, seriously, he had lost it.

Now all this was infront of the other waiting parents, so I was really embarrest. Then even worse, when I got into the nursery, I was so shaken I burst into tears, a lot of people saw and I wanted to ground to swallow me up.

So, AIBU to be cross about this incident? I realise I must have touched his car when I was trying to park, but in my defence he shouldnt have been parked there and he wouldnt accept my apology. And AIBU to wonder how on earth I can go back day after day and face this man? It was all fluffy and lovely there and now this incident has put a really nasty taste in my mouth

You ran into his car?

Annunziata Tue 30-Apr-13 14:07:50

Er, you ran into his car. He shouldn't have lost his temper, though, that must have been horrible. Have a cup of tea and put it down to experience.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Tue 30-Apr-13 14:08:10

Personally I wouldn't have give a shit about hitting his car. He was parked illegally and made it difficult for you to park where you ARE allowed to legally. I hate people like him, they think they own the f**kin road!

gallifrey Tue 30-Apr-13 14:08:52

regardless of if you bumped his car he completely overreacted so much he made you cry? What an arsehole sad

huge hugs xx

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 30-Apr-13 14:09:29

meh, that's what bumpers are for.

Callisto Tue 30-Apr-13 14:09:56

So you reversed into his car and then told him it was his fault for parking there in the first place? I would have been angry too. Next time choose a parking space that you can actually get your car into.

And it's NOT his fault that he parked too far forward. It IS his fault that he was parked on a double yellow and that he shouted.

But you hit his car.

Picturesinthefirelight Tue 30-Apr-13 14:11:17

That's horrible. So what if you accidentally ran into his car. You didn't do it deliberately, he was illegally parked and you did the correct thing apologising.

I've had people run into my car and my attitude to them was, never mins that's what your insurance is for.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 30-Apr-13 14:11:52

not hit, touched. if it had been 'hit', he doesn't sound like he'd have waited around for the second one to land.

You shouldn't have mouthed off at him loudly so he could hear and then he wouldn't have "lost it"

HoHoHoNoYouDont Tue 30-Apr-13 14:13:24

I wonder if you had damaged his car would he have been able to claim off insurance considering he was parked illegally? Would be interesting to know.

Chopchopbusybusy Tue 30-Apr-13 14:14:19

It doesn't sound like he even checked if there was any damage. He sounds like an arse. As aitch says that's what bumpers are for. Ignore him if you see him again.

GladbagsGold Tue 30-Apr-13 14:14:23

I don't believe him. 'Bumped it twice?' Why would you stay sitting in your car if someone had really just bumped it once?

MaxPepsi Tue 30-Apr-13 14:14:25

First things first, I'd bet my life on it that you didn't even touch his car once let alone twice.

You would have felt it, no matter how slight the non existant bump was.

He's being a twat.

YANBU to be upset. I'd forget all about it. You don't need to do anything.

tripecity Tue 30-Apr-13 14:14:37

I didnt run into his car, the space was tight and I did the best I could to park, but apparently I bumped his car twice in the process (which I didnt feel)

Thanks, I am still all shook up. He did over react imo. I'm just cross I wasnt able to control my tears till I was out of there. I wonder what exactly he wanted me to do apart from not bump into his car

Last thing he bellowed was 'go on, call the police then' and I was sorely tempted but I dont want ongoing nastiness at nursery

TheChaoGoesMu Tue 30-Apr-13 14:15:32

Well you did hit his car. Yes he shoudn't have been there, and no he shouldn't have shouted, but you hit his car twice. And then told him he shouldn't be parked there after doing that shock. You sound as though you were pretty aggressive in your manner too.

Dahlen Tue 30-Apr-13 14:15:59

Two separate incidents. The car parking bump is one, the intimidating behaviour is another. The former will simply be a civil matter - a case of insurance details if warranted. The latter is actually a criminal offence.

This wasn't a road traffic collision in which people have been badly scared and emotion spills over. This was a minor incident. There are no mitigating circumstances for the man's behaviour. A reasonable person would have been annoyed but not raging.

Hope you feel better soon.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 30-Apr-13 14:16:11

don't sweat it, OP, the man sounds like a horrible bully.

gallifrey Tue 30-Apr-13 14:16:54

you say there were people there watching? Would they say if you bumped his car or not?

Seriously. Chalk it up and let it go.

It's another one of those ones where words are everything - you say bumped, he says ran into, someone else says touched.

And don't mouth off the next time, blue badge or not. Because he only "lost it" once you shouted at him.

TheChaoGoesMu Tue 30-Apr-13 14:17:30

I hit someones car when I was parking the other day. I didn't feel the bump at all, but the man showed me the mark on his car and the mark on mine. I did hit it, it is entirely possible to do this and not feel it.

tripecity Tue 30-Apr-13 14:18:36

freddie - he opened his door to shout abuse at me, didnt get out then slammed it whilst I was apologising, so I was completely within my rights to tell him he was parking illegally. And just so you know I wasnt yelling like a fishwife and he opened his door whilst I was saying it and jumped out telling me to call the police

Try parking without hitting his car the next time then.

MaxPepsi Tue 30-Apr-13 14:25:56

Who says OP hit his car apart from him?

She says she didn't. He says she did.

So far no indication from the OP to say anyone saw the cars touch each other and no indication that twat man even checked his car.

I'd check my car if I thought someone had it.

The Op accepts she "bumped" his car though? confused

monsterchild Tue 30-Apr-13 14:27:46

thefirst odd say he want that concerned.If the guy let you hit his car a second time without telling you he's not that bothered.I budgeted a car while parking and didn't feel it. The other driver was on the cat, got out and told me what I'd done. Very polite and I apologized and nothing happened.
Dorms like hee was a bit defensive top react like that. But telling him he's parked illegally after was silly.

monsterchild Tue 30-Apr-13 14:28:57

Must stop posting from my phone...

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 30-Apr-13 14:29:17

"Now I didnt feel any bumps, but accept he had no reason the lie."

not quiiite.

"I realise I must have touched his car when I was trying to park"

And the next bit which says it was all fluffy and lovely there and now it's not makes the OP sound 12 in my opinion.

MaxPepsi Tue 30-Apr-13 14:34:27

"I realise I must have touched his car when I was trying to park"

Because she's taken him at his word rather than accuse him of lying and therefore presumed she's tocuhed it whilst trying to park rather then driving down the road.

Oh and you were completely right to have taken notice of the fact he was parked illegally.

You should have phoned the police. And taken pics of his bumper and yours to show any potential damage.

But if you did touch his car then you were in the wrong just as much as him. And mouthing off doesn't help.

jacks365 Tue 30-Apr-13 14:38:29

He shouted you apologised and he shut his door. YOU not him then continued it by saying he shouldn't have been parked there, you instigated what followed don't bother apologizing if you are then going to basically say its your fault for being there.

MansView Tue 30-Apr-13 14:43:14

sadly you get cocks like him on the road... sad

last year when doing to see an ex on a saturday - I'd nip to a co-op in a newly built leisure park type place - the road was a dead end so I'd go down to the bottom and turn around - this meant when I got back I'd be able to just get in and drive off...

about 99% of the time - a car would pull up in front of me so close that I'd have to reverse to pull day i was pissed off and waited for the driver to come back and was going to wait so that he'd have to pull away first, but the cunt started eating a sandwich and drinking some pop... sad

ShatnersBassoon Tue 30-Apr-13 14:45:53

Six and two threes. He shouldn't have stopped there illegally, but you shouldn't have attempted to park in front of him if there wasn't enough space to position your car safely.

I think you should call it a draw and forget about it. He'll be feeling like a twat I bet, and will be dreading seeing you in case you're still upset about it.

LessMissAbs Tue 30-Apr-13 15:17:27

Now all this was infront of the other waiting parents, so I was really embarrest

So there were witnesses who could shed light on whether you hit his car or not?

And AIBU to wonder how on earth I can go back day after day and face this man? It was all fluffy and lovely there and now this incident has put a really nasty taste in my mouth

Oh for goodness sake calm down OP. It was a minor parking incident, a man shouted at you, nothing much happened, if you did hit his car and was giving it all the "I'm too precious to be upset" attitude then I'm not surprised he shouted. If it was that bad, you would have got the police.

SlumberingDormouse Tue 30-Apr-13 15:26:21

If you genuinely believe you're about to be attacked, it's assault - even if he didn't lay a finger on you. You may have provoked him but you'd still be perfectly within your rights to call the police, especially if there were witnesses who could back you up.

Now you're only basing the assumpti

Now you're only basing the assumption you hit his car on his say so. He should be the one embarrassed by his behaviour

somewhereaclockisticking Tue 30-Apr-13 15:45:18

If you hit his car why didn't he get out immediately? To just sit there and then allow you to hit his car again seems very odd.

noclue2000 Tue 30-Apr-13 15:51:53

So u possibly hit his car, he gets out, tells you, you say sorry, he gets back in the car closes the door, then to make your point that you hitting his car was his fault you shout through the window, he gets out and gives you greif and you are putting all blame on him?

JerseySpud Tue 30-Apr-13 15:55:59

To me it sounds like you were both as bad as each other. You shouldn't have carried on shouting at him through the glass, he shouldn't have shouted at you. Could you not have parked further down the road?

PatPig Tue 30-Apr-13 16:28:14

You sound very entitled actually.

The double yellows as you say are there for a reason, a reason which isn't altered by you having a blue badge.

The man left his car there because presumably he felt it was ok to do so for 2 minutes while dropping his child off. This isn't ideal, but it's understandable that in the scenario you would not take too much care to painstakingly park it to leave space for others, because you are stopping for 5-10 minutes at the most, not all day.

You then came in saying 'blue badge blue badge' and tried to park in a space that was too small for your car, and then hit his car, and he understandably got pissed off.

SoupDragon Tue 30-Apr-13 16:45:07

If you hit his car it makes no difference whether he was legally parked or not. He was angry, you continued the "argument" when it was over [shrug] 6 of one, half a dozen of the other.

As for wondering how you can go back etc, just chalk it up to experience and move on.

As for you know knowing you'd hit it, I can believe it. I was sitting in my car when another driver backed into it with an audible (to me) thud and feeling the car move. The other driver had no idea and drove off.

Fuckwittery Tue 30-Apr-13 16:49:21

Pat pig, if you have a blue badge you are entitled to park on double yellow lines. The other driver was not entitled. Op is entitled, as she does actually have a parking entitlement due to her disability that the other man did not.

MoominsYonisAreScary Tue 30-Apr-13 16:56:31

I bet you never even touched his car, he shouldn't have been parked there even if it was only for a couple of minutes to pick up or drop off his child.

PatPig Tue 30-Apr-13 16:59:38

I've used a blue badge myself, but if the space you want is occupied by another car, illegally or not, it doesn't entitle you to smash into their vehicle.

alemci Tue 30-Apr-13 17:03:35

would he have moved forward if you had asked him to first. Could you have drawn up beside him and asked if he minded so you could get in.

I hate it when people are watching you part. I wonder if you did even touch his car. It usually makes such a bang if you even touch anything in a car.

EldritchCleavage Tue 30-Apr-13 17:05:33

He sounds like one of those people dying for some kind of confrontation so he could let rip at someone. There are people like this, just looking for a pretext to start something, they hover waiting for a person they can take all their aggro out on. Today it was you.

I suspect that's what all this was about, not parking or contact with his car or anything else. He could have protected his car and made your life easier with a small manoeuvre at any time, but he didn't.

snuffaluffagus Tue 30-Apr-13 17:13:43

Was there any damage to either car? He sounds like a bit of a dick to be honest. Just breathe deeply and try and forget it.

greenformica Tue 30-Apr-13 17:20:06

You shouldn't of lightly bumped his car BUT there was absolutely no need for him to go ballistic at you. Very inappropriate and rude. He sounds like a bully. Can you imagine being married to him? What a nightmare.

vivizone Tue 30-Apr-13 18:46:11

Sorry you had to go through that OP. I hope you are feeling better now. Nobody should ever feel threatened that they're going to be attacked. He is not a decent person.

BoneyBackJefferson Tue 30-Apr-13 18:46:43

I am amazed at how many people would get out of a car that has been hit once when the car that has just hit them is reversing for another go.
At least in the car you are safe.

I am also amazed at how many people seem to think that they have a right to have a go at other people and those people should just take it.

Bobyan Tue 30-Apr-13 18:57:55

You seem very keen to blame him for your inability to park.

Having a blue badge gives you the right to park in certain places, it certainly does not give you the right to drive badly.

I think I'd be pretty cross if someone hit my car twice.

loopyluna Tue 30-Apr-13 19:49:32

Why didn't he beep his horn the first time you bumped him? What sort of fool calmly sits back waiting for his car to be bashed again before reacting?!
Don't worry about it but try to get to nursery a bit earlier to find a better spot to park if possible...

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 30-Apr-13 19:54:02

more to the point, why didn't he just move back a bit when you bumped him the first time? (because it didn't happen, that's why...)

SirChenjin Tue 30-Apr-13 20:07:39

Ach he was an arsehole - people who park on double yellow lines outside a school always are. I don't believe for a second you hit him twice, that kind of twunt would have no hesitation in thumping the horn and holding it down to let you know exactly what you'd done.

He was in the wrong by parking like a dick, he knew it, and so decided to go for the "you hit me" argument. Bollocks you did. Chalk it up to one of those things and try not to let it bother you. If it happens again though, just wind down your window, smile sweetly and ask him if he could move forward just a foot please and thank you please please and thank you thank you. If you wish to make 'wanker' signs beneath the window where he can't see you no-one will think any worse of you grin

If you did hit him then it was clearly only a nudge with the bumper at very low speed. You have a legal right to park there. Other parents don't. I would contact the council and get the traffic warden round to lurk at drop off time. People will soon stop parking in places that they shouldn't.

Also I think some posters have been really abrupt with the OP on this thread. You'd think shouty bloke was married to some of you with the agression shown.

"You sound very entitled actually", yes the OP is entitled to park on double yellow lines with a blue badge. hmm

I don't believe for a second that you actually hit his car.

Is he a parent of a child at the nursery OP?

edam Tue 30-Apr-13 20:25:22

I bet you didn't actually bump his car - he sounds like an aggressive tosser who was just trying to justify his rage at being caught out breaking the law.

He was a nasty man with a massive sense of entitlement and belief that he can get his own way by shouting, even when he's breaking the law. He was in the wrong, not you. I'm sure you were upset, but you need to focus on the fact that you didn't do anything wrong, he was in the wrong in the first place and made it even worse by getting aggressive and yelling at you.

edam Tue 30-Apr-13 20:26:43

Patpig, you've got the wrong end of the stick. Disabled drivers with blue badges are entitled to park on double yellows. The other guy was not.

mercibucket Tue 30-Apr-13 20:30:02

Ask yourself a question

If someone bumped into your car would you hang around waiting for the second bump or edge your car foward a bit?
Would you check your car for damage or just tell the driver off?

Bet you never touched him once, let alone twice

PatPig Tue 30-Apr-13 20:30:31

Yes I've parked on a double yellow with a blue badge, but not when someone else is in the space.

trixymalixy Tue 30-Apr-13 20:32:03

I bet you didn't bump his car either. Surely he would have got out or beepe his horn the first time?

SirChenjin Tue 30-Apr-13 20:32:13

No-one was in the space. You couldn't park a car in a space if there was already a car in it. Don't be ridiculous. The man was an arsehole on so many levels.

digerd Tue 30-Apr-13 20:32:38

He has anger problems if he went red in the face with rage. That shows a dangerous surge in his blood pressure, which could give him a stroke or heart attack.
He should get himself sorted for his own health and that of others.

HarrietSchulenberg Tue 30-Apr-13 20:33:36

If you didn't feel the bumps you quite possibly didn't bump his car. If you did, why did he not leap out at the first bump, but wait till the second? He's probably got a dented bumper that he was hoping to con you into putting right.
Just because he shouts loudly doesn't mean he's right.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 30-Apr-13 21:05:17

there's so much hate being directed at people with disabilities these days... he may have in his infinite wisdom decided that you weren't disabled enough to merit the badge/were sufficiently disabled that you shouldn't have been driving etc etc etc.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Tue 30-Apr-13 21:17:39

Sounds horrible, not sure why alot of people have decided you hit his car, are a bad driver, went apeshit at him etc... I haven't got any of that from your posts!

overprotection Tue 30-Apr-13 21:18:22

PatPig is on the money here, you say he was parked "too far forward"... too far forward for what? There are no parking spaces there, it's double yellow lines. You seem to have invented in your mind some imaginary division of parking spaces amongst a place where double yellows have been placed because it's an unsuitable place for cars to park, and got confused because other people don't respect it.

Whether you have a special badge that allows you to legally park on double yellow lines or not, you can't just try to force your way into somewhere that your car doesn't fit or you don't have the driving ability to park you car in without damaging people's property. A blue badge doesn't absolve you of being considerate to other road users.

topknob Tue 30-Apr-13 21:21:36

If you had hit my car I would have gone mental at you...but then I don't illegally park so wouldn't happen.

Charming! hmm

everlong Tue 30-Apr-13 21:28:24

OP he was a twat. He should have just moved up for you.
He was in the wrong anyway as he shouldn't have even parked there. Dick.

Honestly do not worry about how you look. He was in the wrong.

toffeelolly Tue 30-Apr-13 21:34:33

Still think you would know if you bumped into someone's car, if he felt it surely you must have as well.

ScrambledSmegs Tue 30-Apr-13 21:40:15

I bet you didn't bump his car. You would have felt it. Even if you did it gave him no right to behave like that.

He was so aggressive that he made you cry and shake in shock. If he's a parent of another child at the nursery he's made quite a name for himself now, the pillock.

overprotection Tue 30-Apr-13 21:45:54

I don't think either party has covered themselves in glory here, these sort of road rage incidents usually occur when two inconsiderate and aggressive* drivers come into contact with each other.

*Yes I know the OP claims not to have been verbally/physically aggressive, however doing a '50 point parking maneuver' to force your car into a small space in front of somebody else parked in theirs is aggressive driving.

SirChenjin Tue 30-Apr-13 21:46:57

Overprotection - if you read the OP properly and carefully you will be able to work out what the OP meant by too far forward. It's really not that difficult.

overprotection Tue 30-Apr-13 21:50:30

Overprotection - if you read the OP properly and carefully you will be able to work out what the OP meant by too far forward. It's really not that difficult.

Thanks for that, but if you read my previous post on the subject you'll see why the OPs interpretation of "too far forward" makes no sense. It's really not that difficult.

What, we have to actually read an OP now before rushing in to judge?

SirChenjin Tue 30-Apr-13 21:53:50

I prefer to stick with the OP where it was explained that parents park carefully ie not too far forward, so as not to block the driveway opposite. See, easy.

SirChenjin Tue 30-Apr-13 21:54:40

I know Savignon, it's no fun is it grin

Binkybix Tue 30-Apr-13 21:55:54

The fact he was parked on double yellows to drop off kids tells you theres a good chance he's a dick. Maybe you did nudge his car, maybe you didn't, but he should not have been there regardless. I understand why you said he should not have been parked there when he shut his door.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tue 30-Apr-13 22:04:47

He sounds like a horrible man. I would have reacted in the same way you did, including the crying bit. sad You should try to forget about it.

Have a wine or a brew.

frumpet Tue 30-Apr-13 22:15:58

Is everyone on mumsnet driving a sherman tank now? i just cannot fathom how if you are reversing you cannot realise that you have hit another vehicle , surely the fact that you stop going backwards gives some sort of clue ? even if you dont feel an actual bump ?

OP the man was and probably still is a complete knob , there's a lot of them around and unfortunately rather a lot drive .

SoupDragon Tue 30-Apr-13 22:20:35

When I got there a car had parked up just past opposite the driveway

So, he was past the driveway. Seems quite simple to understand really.

SoupDragon Tue 30-Apr-13 22:24:03

Apart from the rude driver, what was the other immovable object that made the space too small?

Bunson Tue 30-Apr-13 22:45:32

Seems a bit much to say that so wine deserves to have their car bashed in just because they're stopped on a a double yellow, esp. as they may be waiting for a small child. The man shouldn't have shouted at you but you did crash into him and then try and argue that it was his fault! What do you have the blue badge for out of curiosity?

Bunson Tue 30-Apr-13 22:46:46

Please excuse typos, damn autocorrect!

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 30-Apr-13 22:52:17

bunson needs to know if you are one of them undeserving disabled... wink

Oh dear, that does sound as if that is what is being asked. At least it's upfront rather than a general undertone that shines through some of the other comments.

Bunson Tue 30-Apr-13 23:01:55

Apologies - I'm sure the badge was used correctly in this case but I live on a street next to a popular shopping destination and I see blue badges abused every single day in the most obvious manner so I've got a thing about (the misuse of) them. No offence intended.

hopipolla Tue 30-Apr-13 23:15:46

No-one comes out of this well, you should not have hit his car regardless of whether he was parked on double yellow lines but he should not have reacted in the way that he did either.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 30-Apr-13 23:38:08

i was a bit cunty about it, Bunson, apols back.

MidniteScribbler Tue 30-Apr-13 23:40:25

You may be allowed to park on double yellows with a blue badge, but you don't have the right to damage other people's property in your pursuit of a parking space, and you can't cause a traffic obstruction by doing a 50 point turn. You were trying to make a point and it backfired on you. You could have pulled up next to him, wound down your window and politely asked him to move a little as you were disabled and needed the access. Instead you huffed and puffed and tried to park somewhere that you couldn't safely access. I think there were two idiots involved in this altercation and I don't have a lot of sympathy for either party.

PickledLiver Tue 30-Apr-13 23:51:11

You were both a bit twatty really. I'm on the fence.

<<least helpful post>>

ArtexMonkey Wed 01-May-13 00:02:58

Good lord

Is this a new mn thing then, that it's ok to start being shouty and aggressive to people over parking, even if you're in the wrong to start with? It seems like it. Fucking aibu.

Don't worry about it op, he looked like a nob not you. Have a word with nursery and see if they'll send a letter out about being considerate and not parking illegally and all that jazz.

Bunson Wed 01-May-13 00:07:30

He wasn't being shouty and aggressive over parking, he was being shouty and aggressive over someone repeatedly smashing into his car which is not very pleasant but hardly surprising.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 00:15:55



Bunson Wed 01-May-13 00:18:29

Semantics smile

K8Middleton Wed 01-May-13 00:29:18

You can trust a parking thread to cause people to lose all perspective hmm

There was no excuse for his shouting and intimidating behaviour. That includes a teeny bump or two that may or may not have even happened.

Hope you're feeling calmer op and if he approaches you again just call 101 and report it. Is he a parent at the nursery? Because if not you may never see him again and if he is you should consider reporting his behaviour. Shouting and ranting is not on and yes, it wasn't the smartest thing trying to engage with him but the parking situation sounds out of hand and a PCSO doing bog all looking official might make wanko-me-laddie and co think twice.

Or just rise above it. It will all seem better in the morning and will be almost forgotten about in a week.

Bunson Wed 01-May-13 00:31:11

Shouting at people is not illegal

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 01-May-13 00:35:30

Shouting at people in threatening manner is a breach of the peace and illegal.

You'd think the OP had revved up her car and slammed laughing into the guy's car like a dodgem car from some of you lots posts.

And LessMissAbs , laying into someone for feeling a bit uncomfortable for going back somewhere where someone shouted and frightened them is just bloody minded and ridiculous.

Remind me never to post in AIBU if I ever feel shaken by something and want support.

Bunson Wed 01-May-13 00:41:40

There is not a court not a copper in the land that is going to interpret a bit of shouting after a road traffic accident as "a breach of the peace" particularly in these circumstances. I am not defending this man, I have no doubt that his actions were disproportional and probably a bit scary but there is simply no question of getting the police involved. It is a ludicrous notion.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Wed 01-May-13 00:51:44

If the space was too small you shouldn't have parked there. And I think the law is that even if a car is illegally parked you're still the one in the wrong if you hit it

He did overreact though

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 01-May-13 01:00:09

Also she parked there because she has a blue badge so needs to park close to the place.

People are conveniently ignoring that too

jaywall Wed 01-May-13 02:40:08

You hit the car, twice. You should think twice about parking in such a small spot again because you obviously cannot do it.

Stop being a twink and accept reality.

I'm in love
I'm all shook up
Mm mm oh, oh, yeah, yeah!

LittleMissLucy Wed 01-May-13 04:14:32

People are scary and road rage is very scary. I don't think yabu at all, and feel your pain.
But I would say two things
1. If you saw him in his car, you could have asked him to back up a little so you didn't run the risk of bumping him as you parked.
2. If some guy in a car shouts at you and slams his door, he is already fired up and I wouldn't provoke anyone like that by shouting at them - its a challenge for them to come out and attack you (verbally or otherwise).
So, keep safe.

SoupDragon Wed 01-May-13 07:20:07

I would like to hear the other driver's version of this.

HollyBerryBush Wed 01-May-13 07:29:41

I gave up with this one on page 2 really. So I'm sure it's been asked. And probably answered.

Blue Badges. Did you need to park there, or were you like my dear old MIL who used to say "sod it, I can park there". So just because you can park there, did you have to park there?

My friend used to cart her DM (BB holder) around all the time so she (friend) could park anywhere she liked because she (friend) was too lazy to park half a mile down the road and liked a premier spot outside the school gate.

Seems to me there was a whole lot of traffic obstruction with people not really giving a toss about other people.

HousewifeFromHeaven Wed 01-May-13 07:35:53

I haven't read it all op sorry.

You should always ask people to move up/back a bit if they're taking up space. Sometimes people are unaware. In all my years driving I've never encountered anyone who refused to move when asked nicely.

If I'd been struggling to get in a spot and they didnt move when asked, i'd find another. Life's too short for that kind of hassle.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 01-May-13 07:49:22

There wasnt another. And she has a blue badge as presumably she cant walk far.

SacreBlue Wed 01-May-13 07:53:21

I agree with PP saying you could have just asked if he could pull forward or back. Blue badge or not if you can't park in a space without a 50point turn and bumping another car then you need to find another space.

Or find some really helpful students to lend a hand....

saintmerryweather Wed 01-May-13 07:58:29

Once you noticed that you couldnt park your car, why on earth didnt you just politely ask him to move his a bit? It wouldnt have killed you and he quite probably would have said 'oh yeah sorry' and moved it.

agree that you trying to get in and out of the space with a 50 point manoeuvre without even asking someone else to move is aggressive, like youre trying to make a point. And no, he shouldnt have been there but youre not a traffic warden

HousewifeFromHeaven Wed 01-May-13 08:43:57

sacre that is hilarious!!! I heard about it on jeremy vine yesterday but hadn't got round to it yet.

LessMissAbs Wed 01-May-13 10:11:40

To be honest, if someone hit my car twice and then started shouting at me through my car window after I'd pointed it out to them, I'd probably have shouted back too. I have twice been hit by cars reversing when I was in the car, parked, and the driver was totally unaware.

He didn't attack you. If it was that bad, surely all the people at the --fluffy- nursery would have witnessed it and suggested you call the police.

I have no idea why someone parking once on your bit of the double yellow lines should cause you quite so much angst. Probably he had never been there before, and wasn't fully au fait with the double line etiquette. And since he was still in the car, he wasn't really parked in the sense that you couldn't have asked him to move the car. Since he was sitting in it and all.

Being a woman doesn't make you immune to people getting annoyed when you hit their cars.

Being a woman doesn't automatically mean that someone who shouts at you has committed an assault.

This sort of thread makes me embarrassed to be female, because its playing so blatantly on the "I'm a woman, I'm a poor fragile little creature that is easily hurt".

Of course if you had called the police, they wouldn't have progressed this if you had no witnesses, and they would have asked the other driver for his side of the story...

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 10:21:11

by 'double line etiquette' do you mean the Highway Code?

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 10:21:55

people really need to stop being so mimsy about their cars, btw. they don't have a force-field round them... bumpers get bumped. it's kinda the point of them.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 10:22:59

and re 'i'm a poor fragile woman' etc... the OP does hold a blue badge, so presumably she has more physical difficulties than the average female.

LazyMonkeyButler Wed 01-May-13 10:30:31

Are there any marks on your bumper? Did you see any marks on his bumper? If not, it is unlikely you hit him at all and certainly not worth getting aggressive about.

At the end of the day, he was parked illegally & you were not. I suppose, with hindsight, the best thing to do would have been to ask him to move in the first place (as you had a right to be there & he was illegally preventing you from parking). Although, I suspect he would have had something potty-mouthed to say about that too hmm.

Totally agree with GladbagsGold though, if someone bumps your car you don't just sit there waiting for it to happen again! You either get straight out to check your car or reverse the hell away!

sobored2013 Wed 01-May-13 10:35:19

how could be the op be so sure that the male driver didnt also hold a blue badge and therefore have valid 'excuse' for being there?
could explain why he was also parked on double yellows, and why it could have taken him a while to get out of the car.
presumably as she drove up beside his car she didnt get out and check his car for a badge, she just assumed she was in the right and he was parked like a twunt.

SacreBlue Wed 01-May-13 10:51:34

Two streets over from me Housewife and frankly she isn't the only really rubbish driver/parker in the area which is highly annoying since the area is saturated with cars.

Aitch valid point from sobored and also I'm wondering where the rule is that says everyone with a physical disability is necessarily more vulnerable than others? They aren't a homogenous group and a couple I've had to deal with in my last job were utter bitches who were more than capable of standing up for themselves - including getting physical

Obvs not saying OP is a bitch - just pointing out that a blue badge wouldn't exclude her from being one if she was so inclined smile

SoupDragon Wed 01-May-13 10:57:33

I don't think a blue badge is handed out to people on the basis of being too fragile to deal with a driver who is irate at having had his car driven into.

Fillyjonk75 Wed 01-May-13 10:59:33

No excuse for road rage, even if they had done something stupid. My mum once touched the car in front (only accident in about 50 years of driving) when in slow moving traffic. The woman in the car in front got out and launched a tirade of swearing and abuse at my mum. It really isn't on when someone's reaction is far disproportionate to the original error.

A few thoughts. Firstly, if someone was having trouble parking due to where my car was parked (whether or not I was parked legally) I would move my car to make it easier for them (as long as I was left enough space to get out of my parking space). If they bumped my car, I might toot the horn to bring it to their attention, or get out and offer to help see them into the space.

Secondly, the OP accepted that she bumped the car, but didn't actually feel any bumps, so I would assume these were pretty light taps, not full-on thumps, if you see what I mean. And it seems a bit mean to accuse her of bad driving when she didn't notice any bumps when parking - after all, the man could be lying, and if he wasn't, but she genuinely didn't notice bumping his car, then it is hard to see what she could have done about it - you can't avoid doing something, if you don't know you are doing it in the first place.

Thirdly, I would call the police about his aggressive behaviour - as far as I am concerned, it doesn't matter if he was a blue badge holder, or illegally parked, or even if she did actually bump his car - his response was aggressive and threatening, and that is not OK - it is illegal.

To put it in context, we were rear ended once, whilst driving on the A1 - a car towing an unbraked, overloaded trailer crashed into the car behind us in the queue at a roundabout, and shunted it into us - doing quite a lot of damage to our car, frightening us and the children, writing off two bikes, and completely arsing up our journey from Essex to our holiday in Scotland.

Dh and I did not get out of the car and threaten/abuse/get aggressive with the driver responsible, even though what happened to us was much worse than what happened to this driver's car. He behaved like a thug, and needs to be taught that you cannot behave like that towards other people - full stop.

unobtanium Wed 01-May-13 11:11:49

This man was being an arse and itching for a fight. Where I live people bump each other all the time, usually very cheerfully -- when you park you leave your handbrake off so others can nudge your car backwards or forwards as necessary.

Unbelievably precious (about his car) and aggressive, that man. I hope you don't see him again but if you do, do call 101 at the first hint of trouble!

If you touched him at all (and that's debatable), it was the lightest of nudges. REALLY!

Fillyjonk75 Wed 01-May-13 11:20:11

This man was being an arse and itching for a fight

So much so. I bet he was thinking about what he was going to say and working himself into a lather all the time the OP was parking.

saintmerryweather Wed 01-May-13 12:29:41

Actually someone made a good point, what if the man was disabled himself and was actually allowed to park there?

That still doesn't excuse bad manners (ie. not shunting backwards to help the OP get into the parking space), and it certainly doesn't excuse his aggressive and threatening behaviour towards her.

Plus, I assume if he had had a blue badge on display, the OP would have said so, and if he didn't, I suspect he might have been in the wrong, because you are supposed to display your blue badge if you are parking somewhere using your blue badge entitlement.

K8Middleton Wed 01-May-13 12:45:07

What if he was a Martian just come to Earth and was unaware of the High Way Code?
What if he had just been through a very difficult break up?
What if he used to be a woman?
What if he had mental health issues?
What if he is two thirds silicon?

Honestly does it matter? It doesn't excuse the behaviour. Also, since when do we not take an op at face value? I get really annoyed with all of the "but what if" posts that add nothing to an upset op. Wannabe fucking Columbos.

sobored2013 Wed 01-May-13 12:45:34

it doesnt excuse bad manners of either party.
she was trying to get into a gap she even says she was struggling to use as it was too small.
when he complained and got back into his car the OP carried on the argument.
and when the op pulled up she wouldnt have been able to see if he had a bb before she got out the car, so he would also not have had been able to see hers, he may have thought as she did, that the other was taking the piss and making like difficult for a bb holder.
he should not have shouted.
but she is also not totally innocent.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 01-May-13 14:05:11

it's true, if he also had a badge then he'd be entitled to use the space. still a bit arsey of him not to back up a bit, especially after the first time she SMASHED into his car. grin

NaturalBaby Wed 01-May-13 14:09:38

If there was no damage to his car or yours then he has no proof your car touched his at all.
He was being an idiot, hold your head up high in the knowledge that you did the right thing and he lost the plot in a childish manner in front of an audience.

Pendeen Wed 01-May-13 16:02:43

"Personally I wouldn't have give a shit about hitting his car"

I sincerely hope that is a joke, or if not then that you do not drive.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 01-May-13 19:35:02

"Personally I wouldn't have give a shit about hitting his car. He was parked illegally and made it difficult for you to park where you ARE allowed to legally. I hate people like him, they think they own the f**kin road!"

If you hit a stationary car -however they are parked- you are at fault.

ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged Wed 01-May-13 19:38:16

He shouldn't have been parked there. He shouldn't have been so aggressive.

BUT you shouldn't have tried to park there if the space was too small.

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