to think that 7pm is not "exceptionally early" bedtime(167 Posts)
for a 5 yr old and 17m old.
A throw away remark from my friend the other day. We were chatting and I commented that my dd rarely sleeps past 6am, I hasten to add this was a comment not a complaint, as a household we have always got up around 6am asmy DH gets up for work at that time. My friend said "well they do go to bed exceptionally early" and it sounded quite judgey to me.
They go to bed at 7pm, the baby goes straight to sleep and DD sometimes reads in her bed for a bit but usually decides to turn the light out before 7.30, at weekends shes allowed up til 8. Any later and she gets tired and emotional and cant cope with school.
Who cares what she thinks, it suits your household
and is the same as mine
YANBU - mine have just moved to a 7.15 bedtime aged 6&7. Long may it continue.
If it works for your family I wouldn't worry, I don't think it's exceptionally early. My dd goes to bed at the same time as do some of my friends children.
I thought that was about normal for young children? DS goes to bed at 7 and he is 3, can't see it changing for a while
I need my evening to relax
Yep, 7 is fairly standard. CBeebies stops at 7 so presumably this is a normal bedtime for small children.
Sounds like a normal bedtime to me.
Take no notice. My nearly 5 year old was a sleep just before 7 tonight. He normally wakes between 6.30 and 7 am. Even if he goes to bed after 8 he still gets up early.
Nope, not exceptionally early. Both my DDs (3 & 6) are in bed on weeknights by 7 at the latest. They don't get up til 7, so must need that sleep.
Sadly, DS (7) doesn't need as much sleep these days, and is usually up til 8.30. I miss child free evenings.
Horses for courses i suppose, her dd is 9 and stays up til 9.30. I think that's too late. I would like to think that even when mine are older they will have to go to their rooms at a reasonable time to let me and DH have some grown up time. I always had to growing up. i don't remember being alllowed up past 9pm unless it was a special occasion even when i was 17.
Not at all exceptionally early. I wonder if your friend's DC are a nightmare to get into bed and she has developed the idea that any child going earlier is some kind of oddity.
It would be exceptionally early for me But if 7pm-6am works for you then who cares?
No mine go to bed at this time, sometimes 6.30 if they are really tired. They usually get up at 6 but then even when they go to bed a bit later, they often get up around 6 too (only they are a lot grumpier).
Occasionally they will sleep in until 7 but it's not usual.
My DH gets up early for work and we live in a small house so him moving around would probably wake them up if they were to sleep in so it suits us to get up together. It's more of a pain at weekends but I'm so used to getting up, it's become a way of life. It does make for a long old morning though.
I would much rather put in the work early on in the day and get a chance to enjoy a long evening.
Children running round my feet at 9pm when I'm shattered would be a nightmare.
Sounds normal to me. My 3 are all in bed between 655 and 715. Older two have just turned 7 and read for a bit but usually when I go up at 745 they're both asleep. Youngest is 2.5 and is always asleep within 10 minutes of going to bed.
I think they do go a bit earlier than most though
My children go to bed around that time (1 and 6), They need the sleep and I need a break.
This irritates me so much! My kids could go to bed at 10pm and still wake up at 6.30! In fact, when they went to bed at 8, they would wake up earlier! Sometimes you just want to say that you have been up from 6.00 or whatever without annoying people with kids who sleep until 7.30 saying something stupid! Children arent androids- some wake up late, some early.7pm not exceptionally early at all in my experience. It's bang on amongst my friends. (as you have probably guessed, I also have some friends whose kids go to bed much later )
I think 7 is perfectly normal for a 5 year old, but I also think 9ish for a 9 year old is pretty normal to, and far too early for a 17 year old!
So I think your bedtimes at the moment is perfectly average but you may have to adjust your expectations of alone time as your kids get older.
Of course it's no one's business but your own though, so you should ignore your friend and us
Well 4 y/o DS was fast asleep in bed by 5pm tonight, but thats because he's ill. He usually goes to bed between half 6 and 7.
He is always up around 5am no matter what time he goes to sleep. He is most definitely an early bird
7 is bedtime here too, DC are almost 4 and 5 1/2. They stay up until 8 at teh weekend mind.
dc1 often wakes about 6 but I find he wakes even earlier when he goes to be late. Seems to be perfect for DC2.
I wouldn't worry about it. Put your kids to bed when you want. I don't think she was judging. She was probably a bit envious, if anything.
grrrgh. Seems to be perfect for DC1, I meant.
My FIL still remembers having to be in bed before his dad got home at 6 as an older child! That's exceptionally early!
Apparently children should be neither seen nor heard!
We put our 18mo to bed at 8 & I was under the impression that this was considered v late by most people. 7pm seems perfectly reasonable to me!
my DC almost 4 and almost 7 are in bed 7:30 every night with the exemption of parties.
I agree 7pm seems the norm... I know most people think that DD. 18 months goes to bed very late (8pm) ... I'd love her to go down at 7 but she just won't!!
DD is 2.4 and if she has a nap in the day she goes to bed between 7 and 7.30pm...if she doesn't nap (some days she just doens't feel like it) then she's usually in bed at 6pm/ Either way, she sleep through until about 7am...which is like heaven for us now as she didn't sleep through the night once until she was 18 months old and bedtime was a real struggle for ages.
mine were in bed at that time at that age meh it works for your children and if your dd is reading then at least she is pottering and resting
7 sounds normal. Mine all went then at that age anyway but each to their own.
Tell your friend to mind her business.
Totally normal for me too. Mine are now 10 and 12 and they now have lights out at 8.30 on school nights (but they have to be up before 6). Major exceptions for holidays, but not really for weekends.
There is a huge correlation between getting enough sleep for age and achievement at school, and of course setting up good sleeping habits now will set them up for life. You are being very sensible.
yanbu. mines alwasy gone to bed early and mostly sleeps straight through. she needs her sleep.
and its a normal bedtimne. im sooooo judgy pants especially on schooldays when there are kids anywhere aged from 3-15 outside in street/gardens/up late. how do they manage the next day?
Ds3 (6.10) goes to bed about 9pm but that's just him. He doesn't seem to need much sleep. Ds's 1&2 went much earlier at that age. He's always up, bright and breezy, in the morning which is more than can be said for me.
My two (3 and 6) usually fall asleep between 8pm and 8:30pm - I'm usually led to believe this is extremely late. So if 7pm is exceptionally early, maybe 7:30pm is perfect?
I work until 7pm 3 days a week, so we pushed my ds bedtime on to 8pm. It feels late compared to other 2.5 year olds but it works for us, he's still up in the morning and I get to put him to bed
Oh the memories - it used to be cbbies story, sing along to the bedtime song, story in bed, cuddle and lights out - then back to being me and not just mummy!!!!
All my kids woke at 6 (or earlier) no matter what time they went to bed at.
6.30 early, 7-7.30 normal 8pm late.
You can guess what time DD1 choose. The DF with the 6.30 DCs said "Don't worry, she'll be tired when she starts school"
Oh, No she wasn't!
DD2 would do 9am-5.45 at nursery, so clearly she wasn't tired on starting school either.
This is completely alien to me. DS 16mo has just nodded off, it's 10pm, he'll sleep until 7-8 with no feed or one feed. Then he'll have a 1-2hr kip around 1pm.
I'm a sahm, DH works from home, flexi hours. We also live abroad where timetables are a lot different!
It depends on where you are from! To me 7 pm is exceptionally early or any human being to go to bed. But I am Italian, 7 is an exceptionally early time for dinner here.
It's amazing how each baby is different, elQ. My boy is 17 months old, goes to bed at 7pm til 6/7am, with no wake ups unless ill, and sleeps for 2 hours in the day. Until about two months ago, his bedtime was 5.30pm and he'd sleep until 6.30pm.
He's a bedhead, like his mama
used to be before a small child entered her life
"Her dd is 9 and stays up til 9.30. I think that's too late." It could be, although it depends when she wakes up.
My dd's friend's mum raised her eyebrows at my 9 year old's bedtime, but then when I asked what time her dd wakes up (5 or 6) it turned out my dd gets more sleep each night than her dd.
My 8 year old still goes to bed at 7pm, he needs his sleep and is grumpy without it, even my 10 year old only gets till 8pm although she is allowed to read in her room for a while.
We host Italian and Spanish girls who are baffled that our 6 and 4 year olds don't eat with us at 8. Is it only Brits that put their kids to bed so early? Ours go to bed around 8 the elder reads until 9. To me 7is weirdly early.
Kerala, no, I don't think it's just the Brits, I guess most northern european people eat earlier and go to bed earlier than mediterranean people.
I wish mine would go to sleep at 7pm. He's 5 and tonight he finally fell asleep at 8.50pm. . He is going to be exhausted for school. He goes to bed at 7.30.
7 is exceptionally early to me and almost everyone I know. However YANBU, SINBU - every child is different, every parent is different.
I need some tips on how to get a 2 year old and 6 year old asleep before 8:30-9:00pm. I'm not sure I can aim for 7:00pm as we are usually all home by 6:45pm and short of having beans on toast everyday, I can't cook that fast. The 2 year old is in his room by 7:30pm but takes 30-90 mins of tossing and turning and telling us he's not tired, while the 6 year old just wants to ask questions and read books.
Am I just being a mug ?
my two aged 7 and 3 are mostly in bed for 6.45 - 7pm. They don't go to sleep until past 9 though if the littlest one has had a nap. no nap and they are both asleep by 8pm and then up at 7-8am the next day
It's only normal if there's a SAHP. For those of us who WOH , we don't get home til 6. Then make dinner, eat, play, maybe bath and bed. I have never been able to bed mine before 8. Horses for courses.
Children need time to unwind, I think Didireally, therefore, if you are usally home at 6.45, I'd say that your bedtime is reasonable.
Some children take lots of time to fall asleep, my ds is similar.
"I guess most northern european people eat earlier and go to bed earlier than mediterranean people"
It must have a lot to do with the climate I suppose (siestas mean later bed times, shops etc stay open later so families don't get to eat until late, warm evenings make it difficult to sleep any earlier, cultural traditions).
It's not just climate though or mediterraneans. The irish do it too. It drove me mad. Kids running around and in the pubs at 10pm, people dropping in all day and night. I just wanted to clock off, have a little me time and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Not too early. when my two were little, they were in the bath at 6.30 lights out at 7.
even now, ds1 9 and ds2 6 bath/shower is before 7, ds1 lights off before half past and ds2 lights off at 8
Crack on. Sounds healthy. Bit later weekends for the 5 yo possibly.
sorry just to add you don't need to be a sahp to be around at home before 6pm. there are plenty of part time workers.
My 6 year old goes to bed at seven
and sometimes my eight year old if he's been particularly high maintenance.
It doesn't sound 'exceptionally' early to me. It hasn't suited 3/4 of my DC's, but I would think it's a pretty standard bedtime for very young DC's.
My DD usually went to bed at 8pm at 5yo, but she would fight sleep until 9pm. Falling asleep at 9pm she naturally woke at 7am back then. Mind you, I would rather get up at 7am than have had her in bed asleep at 7pm. Horses for courses. I don't do mornings...
DS1 just didn't sleep. Not once through the night until school aged, and even then it was a measly 6 hours. Now he's 11yo, and goes to bed at 9.30pm on a school night, and gets dragged out of bed at 6.45-7am. I've tried putting him to bed earlier - but he's no easier to wake up. Like me, he just doesn't do mornings...
DS2, on the other hand, would be asleep by 7pm at the latest at 5yo. And would naturally wake at 7am. In fact, he did pretty much that from 7wo, despite being bf! He's now 9yo, and needs a bit less sleep - he is asleep at 9pm, and naturally wakes at 6am every day.
DS3...well...he's 2yo, and after hours of PUPD, he finally fell asleep just 8 mins ago. He will be awake again at 1-ish, and be up for the day by 5.30am. Bleeeuuuurrrrgghhhh!!!
Did I say I'm not a morning person...
Never, sorry, you're entirely correct. I guess I'm just focused on 9-5ers, like me.
My 4 and 2 year olds are in bed at 7pm
sometimes I can still hear them singing at 8.30pm Once they are in bed I tend to ignore any chatter and let them get on with it unless they really need me. They go to sleep when straight away usually and I need my evening. If they go to sleep late they still get up at the crack of dawn...
My almost 16 year old has a ten o'clock "bedtime"! when I say bedtime, she goes to her room and goes to bed when she is ready, its so that there is some adult time downstairs and she is winding down for sleep. Often though she will go to bed at 9 ish if she has had a long day.
My lot go at....
7pm 22 mth old
7:30 7+8 year old
8:30 11 year old
Not exceptionally early at all. As long as they get the sleep they need and it fits in with your life, who cares when they go to bed?
Their baby bedtime is too long ago for me to remember but when they were 5 it was in bed 7pm. Story time. Lights of 7:15pm
I think 7 is standard ours is 8 because it just works out that way on the days I work.
7 at the age of 17 though I think is very odd, please don't do that to them. Were you Ok with it? !
I put my 12 year old to bed at about seven, generally. Ok, she has SN, but it's the only way to give her the feeling of what she needs as a teenage 'lie-in', as I can't explain to her that she needs to be out of bed for school.
Whatever works for your family is fine.
My children also go to bed at 7. Mind you, so does my dad. I ring him every night once the kids are down and he's often grumpy at me because I've woken him up.
7pm reasonable for kids. Less reasonable for adults unless there's a specific reason.
I would say normal.
DD 2.2 wakes around 7 and is asleep by 7.45pm. I would love her to fall asleep earlier, but no matter what time I put her down at the moment she falls asleep at 7.45pm.
Most children need 10 hours + for a reasonable length of time.
My 10yo didn't sleep through the night until a year ago, so his sleep was always all over the place.
I found be letting him stay up later he slept better, so he goes between 9.30 and 10 school days, and around 11 on weekends
My 14yo dd up till about a year ago was still going to bed by about 9.30, but now if shes in bed by midnight shes doing well!
They are up by 7 on a school day, but no set routine on weekends- rarely see dd before 1pm on the weekend!
Yanbu, it's not too early, I know an eight year old who goes to bed at seven! Every family and child is different surely, like most adults go to bed at different times.
my 7 year old is in bed is in bed between 7 and half past and either reads or watches a DVD til 8 then lights out and he gets a good 10-12 hours sleep.
We have moved to a block with communal area it drives me med that young children are still running about screaming there heads off at 930 a night 4 yr old's have bath 7 bed by 730 7 yr old bed for 730-8. They get up at 630 ...... I have been warned thy or only gets worse over thw summer holidays. We have had a 5yr old knock to play with my children at 930 on a school night
4.5 yo and 18 month old here. They and I get in from work/ nursery at 5.45 ish, snack, then upstairs 6.30 ish, in bed for stories 7 ish, lights out 7.30. Works for us. If DH is home in time 4 yo plays out on his bike for a bit, but the baby is a complete car crash if she is not in bed by 7.
Our DS is 2.5 and 7pm would seem early for me but only because we would struggle to get him to bed at 7pm. We work FT and so he goes to bed between 7.45pm and 8pm. However, he is a shocking sleeper and wakes at 5.30am most mornings so I get the worst of both worlds. I try to get him to bed earlier, but it's a struggle!
It sounds fine to me, all mine are in bed by 7.30 most of the time and they are 2, 4 and 7. 7 year old is allowed later nights at the weekend.
7pm for both our DC too (5 & nearly 3). If they nap during the day for some reason (very rare) then it's sometimes a bit later. I go by the general rule that they tend to need around 11-12h sleep at that age and since we get up at around 6.30-7am then that's what works.
I suspect that DS1 may want to go to bed even earlier when he starts school after the summer. His cousin is exhausted come 6pm and she pretty much crashes around 6.30.
I don't think it's early. 7 is normal here for an almost five year old and two year old. Ignore her and carry on with what works for you.
my 9& 7 year olds go to bed at 7.30 on school nights. They are allowed to chat quietly to each other or read. they normally fall asleep by 8.30 at the latest. They have to be up by 7.30am on a school day. ds2 is normally up by this time but ds1 isn't. At the weekend ds can't make past 9pm but ds1 can easily make 11pm but has to go to bed when we do!! ds1 will sleep in in the morning at weekends if he has been up late!
Mine both go at 7pm. My 1 year old goes to sleep pretty much straight away and my 4 year old normally plays in his bedroom for a bit then gets himself into bed.
Like it has been said above, I'd say 7pm is standard bedtime IN THE UK. In my mind 6pm would be 'exceptionally early' but not 7pm.
I live in the UK but I'm French and it feels early for me. DD goes to bed between 8pm and 9pm (she's 21 months) because it seems to agree with her and with us. She'd never see her dad if she went to bed any earlier. If we lived in France that would be even more true as shops and other businesses often stay open til 7pm so a lot of people come home later than in the UK; 7.30pm-8pm is standard dinner time in France.
7pm in our house (2 + 6yr olds). The 6 yr old reads until 7.30pm. They are both up at 6.30-7am which is fine in the week and annoying at weekends! I don't really get the bit about SAHP - on days we both work the kids get home from nursery/after school club at 6 and need their bed even more than usual. An hour is plenty for tea, bath, story, bed.
Whatever suits your individual family though - as long as the children are getting enough sleep and everyone is happy with the situation.
What annoys me is my friend whose kids the same age as mine are never in bed until 10pm, so baby sitting for her is not a peaceful evening in front of the telly but full-on childcare. She constantly complains about not getting evenings to herself, but has never imposed an early bedtime. If it's broke then do something to fix it!
MY DD went to bed before 7.30 right up until she was 11. I think 9.30 is late for a 9yo but my DD needed lots of sleep or she was a horror in the morning.
Now she's 16 she goes at the same time as me most nights. I long for the evenings of peace and quiet when she went to bed early. Make the most of it
Yes 7pm in our house for DS2 who is just 5. He still wakes up about 6/615 but he could go to bed at 8 or 9pm and will still wake up then. DS1 (7) goes to his room at 730 but goes to sleep later and wakes up later, we also feel we need our grown up time.
I really thought 7pm was standard TBH for infant school children, it always was when I was growing up and most children I know under 10 don't go to bed later than 830 during the week, most by 8.
I agree that if CBeebies thinks bedtime is 7pm to 6am that's a pretty good indication of when most small children are vaguely near bed.
My nearly 5yo is in pyjamas having a story at about 7, with light out at about half past. He typically sleeps for 11-12 hours so if he went much later he wouldn't be up in time for school.
Our two (5) go to bed at 7pm... and sleep through until 6.30am - 7.30am.
The odd occasion they have gone later, did not result in them waking later.
No it's not.
ds was 6.30 until he was 6, then 7.30 until he was 7, then 8......he's now 10 and he goes to bed at 9.
Mine have never gone that early, but they've never slept for more than 9-10 hours since they were tiny, anyway. My 6yo typically does 8pm to 5am in winter
My girls are 6 & 9 and they both go to bed at 7pm. They are not usually asleep before 8pm because we read and have a chat and a cuddle. They wake between 7 and 7.30am.
7pm is not exceptionally early, it is about average as far as I am aware.
By the sound of it her children wake up later than yours. So if they wake up at 7.30 (as mine do) then to get the same amount of sleep as yours they'd need to be in bed by 8.30. The NHS recommends 10 hours sleep per night for a 9 year old. www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/howmuchsleep.aspx
So if her 9 year old daughter is waking up at 7.30, then going to sleep at 9.30 will get her enough sleep. Could she have picked up that you think her 9 year old goes to bed too late so is reacting defensively to this?
That would be early in our household but the kids don't get up till 0800-0815.
They go to bed between 8-9, depending what clubs etc are on or if we go out for a walk or to the park after dinner.
Every family is different, 7 O'Clock bedtime wouldn't suit us but works for others.
I was hoping to do 8- 8 but my baby is getting very tired and it's now getting earlier and earlier :-(
I live in France and bedtime before 8.30pm is considered very early.
DS (19 months) is a terrible sleeper, and I used to struggle to get him to sleep (strick routine followed by hours spent sitting in a darkened room singing to him).
Now we've decided just to go with the flow and put him to bed when he's tired - which means he drops off in less than 5 minutes, so I am less stressed and cranky.
At the moment, this means he goes to bed around 9.30pm, but as we don't get back from work until 7.30pm (for one of us), he tends to get second winds then and when the other person gets back later. He's tending to wake around 7.30am atm.
Before the hour change he tended to sleep 8.30 - 6/6.30 (although not yet through the night ). 9-10 hours is his average.
Our friend's toddler used to go to bed at 11pm! but it suited their family.
What I want to know is, in the cultures/countries where children stay up late, how do they possibly get enough sleep? They can't ALL be one of those kids who doesn't need much sleep.
I ask because we live in one of those countries. My dcs have to be up between 6 and 6.30, to leave for school by 7.10am. They are 7, 10 and 12 and go to bed at 7.30, 8.00 and 8.30. The 12yo pesters to go later like many of her friends but she would be cranky as hell with less sleep, I know because we've tried.
Many of the children we know are knocking on the door to play when my dcs are about to go to bed or already in bed. They tell me they go to bed by 10.30 or 11pm usually, and later at weekends. How do they function at school? The school hours are 7.30-3pm so it's not as if they can have a nap in the afternoon.
My kids get 12 hours sleep. 7 - 7.
They have been known to sleep 6 - 7 though.
If my kids sleep 8 - 7, they are winy and exhausted with in a day of so of late nights. Unbearable!
Just to put the other side of it, I was made to go to bed at 6pm (yes 6pm) as a child and it was awful, staring out into space for hours, seeing how light it was outside even though the curtains were shut, and hearing the other children playing (I lived on a council estate and lots of the children were out til 8/9 in the summer). I did read, but it was boring.
So fine, if your children genuinely sleeep at 7 and don't wake til 6, but be a bit sensitive that if they are older than about 5/6, this may not be realistic til they are in their teens!
I think 7pm or 8pm is common in the UK but to me 7pm seems early, though not exceptionally early.
HenrySugar, you could ask the question the other way around too: if most kids in the UK go to bed around 7 or 7.30pm, they can't all be the kids that need that much sleep, can they? TBH I think a lot of people put their kids to bed early because the parents want the evening to themselves, nothing to do with what sleep the kids need. Possibly if a child seems tired and cranky after a later night, it's just because it's unusual for them and they would adjust if they regularly went to bed later?
My ds started going to bed around 8.30-9pm once he started school but used to go to bed later before that. He gradually seemed to need to go to bed a bit earlier, probably around 8-8.30pm, and would be up at around 7-7.30am for school. I also don't see how you'd fit a 7pm bedtime in if both parents work FT. It only works if one parent is at home and collects the child from school.
Jan49 yes but on average a child of say 7 needs 10-12 hours per night. If they are one of those who needs less they can go later but they are in the minority.
My dcs can cope with one late night but more than that and they are horrendous, tired, emotional and white as sheets. I don't think you can get used to less sleep if you are not naturally that way.
If the average 7.y.o. needs 10-12 hours sleep, then within the average could be a child who needs 10 hours, goes to bed at 9.30pm on a school night and gets up at 7.30am. Or goes to bed at 9pm and gets up at 7am. So a child needing 10 hours wouldn't need to go to bed at 7pm, even if they had an extra early start for school at 6am. (The maths is sending me to sleep now!)
But maybe kids go to bed later in other countries because the average amount of sleep needed is not really 10-12 hours? I don't know. Maybe a child that goes to bed later sleeps better but for less time so they are no more tired than the child who has had longer.
It's an interesting question as to why children in other countries sleep less.
Thinking about my French friends. Their kids (5 and 2) go to bed around 10pm and get up at 7 (I think) for school (the 5 year old). The 2 year old naps anything from 1 to FIVE hours in the afternoon .
We stayed with them recently. On the Saturday the 5 year old napped 3 hours. The 2 year old napped 4
I'm not jealous cos my 19 month old only naps 2 hours at best oh no, not me
On the Sunday the 5 year old didn't nap at all and the 2 year old napped 3 hours.
No temper tantrums, no real crankiness. Thing is, both kids eat their evening meal with the adults. The first night we were there this was at 9.30pm and the second evening the parents made a real effort to 'eat early' which was 8.30pm.
We'd already decided not to even attempt to get our toddler eating with us and fed him at his usual time of 6.30pm.
To be honest, I enjoyed the few evenings where I managed to get DS to sleep by 8pm. But as it really is a struggle each night, it's become easier to wait for that tell-tale yawn and bundle him off to bed then.
It's noticeable that he is more willing to go to bed earlier on the weekend. Think he misses us both in the week as we both work FT and long hours.
My 4.5yr old goes to bed at 7pm latest, sometimes earlier. He is an early riser, no matter what we do to make him sleep in longer
for our own sanity. Ever since the mornings are getting lighter he wakes up at 6am without fail, even yesterday morning after a Sunday spent running around a zoo and bedtime at 8pm! He was just absolutely knackered in the afternoon.
My 2yr old goes to bed much later. He gets up around 6:30-7am and still naps for a good hour or so during the day. This means he's not tired at night until about 8:30-9pm. He is now sleeping through the night, thank goodness, so whilst I'd love him to sleep earlier, we're loathe to change anything about his routine!
Oh and generally, at the weekend, the 2 kids wake up around 9am
On MN standard bedtime seems to be around 7pm which I do consider pretty early. Each to their own though.
I would like to know though for those of you who put your kids to bed at 7 or earlier do they have dinner with you or do you eat separately?
We would like DD to eat dinner with us when she goes onto food but we don't eat until 8 usually (currently 11 weeks old and her natural bedtime is 9pm).
I expect she was just making a throwaway comment and would be amazed to hear you had started a whole thread about feeling judged.
My children have never gone to bed before 8pm, but that is because dh gets home late from work and he always wanted to see them. And we never needed to be up before 7.30am.
My 15 month an 2 year old have a bed time of 6pm. They get up every day at 5.30 no matter what time they go to bed and the later they stay up the grumpier they are in the morning and more sleep they need during the day meaning thy go to bed late again and it's a horrible grumpy grouchy cycle full of tantrums and tears!
However saying that dd1 has started sleeping in till 6.30 and I've been spending some 1 on 1 time with her reading stories and talkin about our day so she goes to bed around 6.45.
None of mine ever went before 9. It seemed to be the time they all started to feel tired. I never had the endless evening of children calling for drinks of water, appearing on the stairs demanding attention, etc., that I see complaints of here. They also learned that evenings were not the time for tearing around and that they could and should exist quietly for a few hours, reading, chatting, playing something quietly together. They also learned to eat in a mannerly way and converse with adults at the dinner table. I only served and cleared away one evening meal.
Growing up, mum was a stickler for jammies at around 5.30 and we were packed off at 6 or as soon as dad came home, whichever was first. That regime lasted until we were all about 8.
We normally eat no earlier than 7..
I think the moral of the story is if it ain't broke and it works for you, don't fix it! Everyone's kids are different. If yours are happy going to bed at 7pm then enjoy some peace and quiet!
DD was going to bed at 8.30 as a 5 year old, so to me it is exceptionally early (neither of mine have ever had a regular bedtime as early as 7 TBH, even as toddlers it was 7.30), but I would never say that to someone else, that would be a bit rude, each to their own.
DS (nearly 6) goes to bed at 7, where he looks at books and winds down, usually falling asleep between 7.30 and 8.He can recognise when he's tired and is happy to go at 7. He wakes at 6.30ish. On weekdays we all eat tea together at 5.30. At weekends there's a seperate grown up tea after 7. Works for us.
Our neighbour's boy is exactly the same age and goes much later and sometimes I'm sure DS can hear him running about after he's in bed, but DS doesn't seem bothered, and the neighbours are doing what works for them - each to their own.
plummyjam there's no reason why you can't keep your dd up to eat with you. The "problem" starts when they have to be up early for school/pre-school so need to be in bed earlier to get enough sleep. When dd1 was a year old or so and able to eat mostly the same as me and DH we used to eat together at 6.30/7.00 and put her to bed by around 8.30. It was lovely as we could go for a walk after dinner during the summer months. Now all at school the dcs have to eat around 5.30 before DH is home. We only eat together at weekends, unless by some miracle DH extracts himself from the office early.
Does she have children who still nap? 7 seems early to me simply because DS still needs an afternoon nap and therefore isn't ready for bed till quite a bit later, more like 8.30/9. And we get up later so it all works out. If he wasn't napping, I'm sure he'd be ready for bed by 7.
Perfectly normal. And was always bedtime for my older DCs up til about age 7.
DS3 (7) goes at 8.00pm which I personally think is too late - and would much rather take him at 7.00pm. The only reason he stays up til this time is that DH gets in from work at about 7.15pm - so unless we let DS3 stay up he wouldn't see his father at all during the week (DH away at 5.00am).
Anyway, it's whatever works for you.
Sounds normal. My 19mth old is in bed between 5 and 6.
similiar timings to yours for my dds, now they are 6 and 8 they start getting ready for bed (tidy up, change, brush teeth) at 7 and are in bed by 7.45, asleep by 8 ish. On a hectic day (if we've been out the whole day, for example), they'll still be in bed for 7. Sometimes dd2, 6, will need a 7pm bedtime . But when they were your children's age they were in bed for 6.30/7pm.
I'd say 6-8 is normal time for kids maybe 7 and under.
Mine wake between 7 and 7.30 a.m and go to bed at 6 p.m because they no longer have an afternoon nap (their choice!) and by 6 they're practically on their knees They're 3 and 23 months.
YANBU at all, my 2 and 5 year olds go to bed at 7pm too and wake at 6am, we tried a later bedtime but they still woke up at 6am and were grumpy all day so 7pm it will stay for now! We allow a later bedtime at weekends or special occasions but as a rule it's 7, lights out latest 7.30pm. My DSIL is always commenting its early, her 8 year old goes to bed at 10pm, but they have to wake her up for school and can't understand why she's so grumpy after school
"7 is normal."
It was never normal for DD to go to bed at that time. She simply was never tired. She has never been a child to need much sleep though.
It's the amount of the sleep they get that matters rather than the bedtime.
I knew of a friend of a friend who would put her 8 and 6 y.o. to bed at the same time of 17:30. The 8 y.o. had no social life outside of school.
Now that I call exceptionally early.
DD (3) goes to bed at 7, but we read a story and are out of her room by 7.30, she goes to bed at 8 on a friday and saturday.
Someone i knew used to send her dc to bed at 9. when they were 3, and i thought that was too late for a 3 yo
YNBU DC's (7 & 4) latest Bedtime is 7:30pm ~
i don't remember being alllowed up past 9pm unless it was a special occasion even when i was 17.
I think around 7pm is common for under 8s, but sadly my children don't sleep like that . I think my 5yo falls asleep around 9:30pm most nights & he wakes me up around 7:30am. I wouldn't want him waking up any earlier. Others didn't sleep any more than 10 hours at same age.
"What I want to know is, in the cultures/countries where children stay up late, how do they possibly get enough sleep? They can't ALL be one of those kids who doesn't need much sleep."
Seems like a lot of Spanish children are sleep deprived.
Dds 7&5 go at 8pm but 9pm on Saturdays. They are rarely tired before then plus we like the extra "family time" then. Though after 7 is strictly "chill out" with TV or books time
as i would be horrified by 6am awakenings, mine go to bed around 9
But how many British children are sent to bed at 7 and end up bothering parents for an hour and a half, or reading for a couple of hours? Are they getting the sleep they need?
My DCs have always started school at 8 and have been up at 7 for most of their lives (or at least from when the oldest started school).
I think a lot of people around the world scratch their heads and wonder what it is that British children do all day that exhausts them so much they need to be in bed by 7.
Well seeing as mine have to be up at 6 to be out of the house for 7, they oh just last till 7pm
9 year old has a strict bedtime of 8:30 (in bed at 8, reading until 8:30) and 5 year old has a bedtime of 7:00. Elder's bedtime gradually shifted from 7 to 8:30 from the time he was about 7. There was a time he was going to bed later than 8:30 - more towards 9/9:30, and we were getting notes from his teachers about him yawning in class and not being alert. These stopped once his bedtime was strictly enforced again.
As we need to be out of the house by 7:40am and they are morning dawdlers, wake-up time is between 6:30 and 6:45. Their bedtimes could not be later or they would not get enough sleep to be alert at school.
"I think a lot of people around the world scratch their heads and wonder what it is that British children do all day that exhausts them so much they need to be in bed by 7"
As the parent of a child who was never tired by 7pm I used to wonder as well
Mine are pretty much the same age as yours, OP, and have the same bedtime.
They need their sleep and I need an evening.
Ds has never gone to bed earlier than 8pm, even as a baby. Now he's 7, it's 8.45pm. He does activities until 7pm two days a week. We enjoy eating out on a Wednesday and don't get back until 7.30pm. He stays at my sisters till 7pm another night. He would miss out on home time and family time if I packed him off to bed at 7pm. FWIW he's only up at 8am, which is fine for our routine.
7 would be regarded as v early here too. But we're hardly back in the house at that time and as we were both at work all day, we want some time with the kids. So they go at 830. Generally sleep til 7 or 8.
7pm???? Any night our 2yo is asleep before 10pm is a big win (no daytime naps, up at 7.00am).
Of our older ds's two were exactly the same, the other needed more, but nowhere near the 12 hours plus nap suggested by some.
My daughter is 6.
She goes to bed at 7.30am, is asleep pretty much as soon as her head hits the pillow and sleeps until 6/6.30 which suits me fine.
"I think a lot of people around the world scratch their heads and wonder what it is that British children do all day that exhausts them so much they need to be in bed by 7."
Get up at 5.30 maybe? I'm pretty exhausted at 7pm when I'm forced by my Dc to get up that early. Thankfully they normally wake up at 6am- far more civilised!
I think it's very early. we only arrived home at 7 today and DS2 is 2. But I'm not running your household and therefore it's not up to me when your DC go to bed!
7pm here for our 5 & 2 yr olds. Well that's the target. The carcass of bedtime can drag on until 8pm in some cases, but that pushes my sanity.
It can also be as early as 6.15pm for the youngest, who doesn't nap and loves her sleep.
I've always wondered how parents cope without adult time in the evening. When do you get to be 'you'?
In my case I was 'me' with the children in the room with me or helping clear up after dinner. They learned to be 'themselves' quietly. I see learning to get along in different company and playing by the rules of different environments as an important thing to teach. Life isn't all school and toys and children's tv. I think it's important for children to be able to adapt to a situation where quiet behaviour is required. However the culture they grew up in (US) is one where children and adults tend to socialise together quite a bit in an informal way (BBQ's, beach get togethers, etc) and children are expected to fit in with a more adult centered atmosphere, chat with adults, be polite and articulate and able to engage in social give and take, and teenagers are much more engaged with family life and the family social life than in Britain, and not a world unto themselves.
After dinner was always quiet time. We chatted, we watched TV, we played board games occasionally, and older ones finished homework. A big part of 'me' is the part where I am a parent.
I go to bed at 7.30 - my consultant said 'That's not all that early' I'm 35.
I've never felt the lack of "adult time" to be a problem to be honest, we get on with our evenings even if the DCs are still up. On holiday they tend to stay up as late as us and it is lovely.
My big dcs are 8 and 6, up until Easter they were both asleep by 7.30 (having got into bed to read at 7). But dd. (8yo) started waking earlier so I moved her bedtime to 8. She still goes up around 7. I have a baby to settle to sleep and work to do so need the house quiet even if they are awake.
And their bedtime only moved from straight to sleep at 7 around a year ago. With dd moving first and DS following around 6 months later. But he's always needed less sleep than her.
7 is a very reasonable bedtime for the ages, IMHO - mine made it to there (from 6.30) when they started school. And yes, we were all up at 6am.
However, I had friends whose children stayed up until they fell asleep on the couch watching TV and were taken up to bed with their parents. And other friends who kept children up to spend time with Daddy ... who didn't even make it home until 7.30.
It's all about what works for your own family. As long as the children are healthy, happy, and getting enough sleep ......then there is no right and wrong (although everyone always has a viewpoint on what is 'right' about bedtimes!!)
It all depends on your family life and routine.
I was a SAHM and my bedtime routine would start at 5.30 with baths and bed at 6.30 when they were under two.
Dh was home by 4 so saw them, and I had had enough of them by that time!
I am in bed by 10 at the very latest normally and awake at 6.30 so it suited us.
Ds is 14 and goes up at 9, dd 16 is about 10.30 but never stays in the room we are in.
My almost eight year old has lights off at eight pm, my five year old 6.30pm
I didn't feel the need for "adult time" but I think it might have been easier if the evening had been time off from childcare instead of having a child to look after til late.
My ds used to go to bed at 11pm when he was a baby/toddler, then gradually started going earlier, about 8.30-9pm once he was at school. I liked the way he could go to events like weddings with us when he was very little and enjoy the evening, whereas lots of other people would be putting their kids to bed. I found it annoying that other people would complain that their kids were up at 5 or 6am but were putting their kids to bed at 7pm. They seemed to want evenings off from their children but also wanted their kids to sleep later, nothing to do with children needing sleep and all about the parents wanting a break. My ds did actually start off going to bed at 7.30pm but was ready to start the next day at 4am so we encouraged him to stay up later in order to sleep later. We often came across people who disapproved of his late bedtimes and seemed to think children should be in bed at 7/8pm because parents should have the evening childfree.
I've had the comments about "adult time" in real life too, but I'm quite happy for them to be around till mid evening (8.30-9). I don't normally go to bed till at least 11 so that's plenty of free time anyway, many of the people who make this comment are the ones that go to bed themselves by about 9.30, I can see the point for them. I've never had it said in a rude way, just more in a chat about how we all do things differently.
DS goes to bed at 8.30pm partly so we can all eat dinner together (important to us) and partly so we don't have to get up at 6am (very important to us!).
We still get adult time - we're both done and downstairs by 9pm and rarely go to bed before 11.30pm/midnight. But that works ok as we also rarely get out of bed before 7.30am/8am.
If we had to be up at 6am and were in bed at 10pm, maybe we'd want the evening to start earlier.
What do people do with "adult time" other than have sex or watch TV?
I'm not convinced that I'm missing out on either.
lljkk, are you joking? I absolutely rely on my measly hour a day of adult time at home to have a coherent uninterrupted conversation with DH, or read uninterrupted, or just Get Stuff Done without a toddler wanting to "help".
For what it's worth, 7 would be exceptionally early in our house - DS just doesn't need as much sleep as the books say, and if he goes to bed at 7 he wants to get up at 4.45. 9 pm bedtime and 6.45 wake-up suits us all better!
lljkk I iron, mop, watch Game of Thrones or other non-PG tv, or answer emails. I can't safely do any of that when the toddler is awake.
"What do people do with "adult time" other than have sex or watch TV?
I'm not convinced that I'm missing out on either. "
It's the only time I can get on the computer without having two children insist on sitting on me and playing cbeebies games.
It's a time I can do the online shop or wash my hair or have a shower that lasts longer than 5 minutes.
It's the only time I can have a proper conversation with DH.
It's the only time I can eat an apple, chocolate, enjoy a cup of tea and cake without it being taken off me, sabotaged or interupted by a pooey nappy or child needing help in the toilet.
It's the only time I can prepare a packlunch without an audience/toddler wanting to help/ stick fingers in the butter etc
It's the only time I feel I'm not "on duty" or at work, or on the way to/from work/school.
I am very child centred in the day. When we are at home,I'm most often to be found sitting on the floor playing with dolls or drawing and colouring or breaking up fights.
I think if I were able to practise benign neglect then I might not mind my children being up till late.As it is I need a couple of hours for my sanity.
7pm is what keeps me sane. 7.01pm is wine o'clock!
My son (15 months) doesn't go to bed til 8.30-9pm. He doesn't get up til 8.30-9am. I leave for work at 8.15 til 6.30 so I'm quite glad he doesn't go to bed at 7 otherwise I forget what he looks like :-(
Surely what matters is the amount of sleep a child gets not the time when they get it.
A child who sleeps from 9pm to 7am gets as much sleep as a child who sleeps from 7pm to 5am. Another child might go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 5am but have an afternoon nap for two hours. They all get 10 hours sleep.
My daughter needs 10 hours sleep, so it suits my routine that she sleeps at 8:30 and gets up at 6:30. I can shower, and get lunches and bags ready in the morning before she wakes up.
Maybe rather than just saying what time your child goes to bed you should say what time they wake up as well.
7 is the late end of bedtime for us
In an attempt to get a lie in it was 830 last night - they woke at 4am and 530am
Back to 6 tonight - if I have to get early the least we deserve is a small boy free evening
Good points marcopront. A friend of mine used to let her children stay up but it meant she she wasn't woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning. She said she used to go to toddler groups and saw women yawning their heads off because their little darlings had woken them up at 5.30, while she sat there feeling refreshed and wide awake because she had had a decent night's sleep and been allowed to sleep in until a sensible time of the morning.
A lot of people don't want to accept that if you put your children to bed at 7pm or even earlier, they will wake very early (having had their 10-12 hours). They said- oh but I tried putting them at 10 and they still woke at 4am. However, large swathes of european parents keep their children up late 10/11pm and they do not wake at 4am! Of course in time, they adjust their sleeping pattern, and ususally sleep til about 8/9am or later, or if they prefer have a 2 hour nap in the daytime.
I used to put mine to bed at 7pm when they were very little, but at least I was honest with myself that I wanted the evening to myself and wasn't mystified why they woke sometimes before 6am!
My youngest dc (dd2) is 9. It's only recently that her bedtime has moved to 8pm. She's up by 7 every day (has to get up by 7.15 anyway to leave for school at 7.55).
Make the most of the evenings. Now we have a teenager (eek dd1 is 13) her official bedtime is 9.30 but both dh and I are often in bed before she is!
Weegiemum I am so tired sometimes that my 9 year old is awake (in bed) after me, I just go straight to bed after checking on her!
Mumsy - pleased for you that you have sleep entirely sorted then - well done
wish I could go to bed right now! heat exhausts me and DC, shes nearly zonked out, shell be going soon.
her BT is usually around 8pm-7am and she has 2 small sleeps during day if she can, wish i could go too.
6 and 4 year old - upstairs by 7, in bed by 7.30, lights out by 8 at the latest. The hour includes bath, stories and a chat
and lots of pissing about by the two of them
It isn't that hot. We have enjoyed temperatures of around 20 - 21 degrees today, but it has cooled down considerably now.
Its a bit cooler now, but DC and I have a few medical conditions and anything over literally 5 degrees feels like the sahara desert to us. and its only may-imagine later on!
DC came out in a heat rash today- again, its only May.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
My 2 and nearly 5 year old go bed at 7pm. Sometimes earlier if they are being difficult.
7pm household here too.
Seems normal to me.
8-9pm does not seem normal to me!
DD is 3.5 and goes to bed at 7.15 and wakes at 7.30. She only naps in the day if we happen to be in the car when she is especially tired.
7pm seems very early to me. But then, I'm not English.
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