to wonder why boys can't run the race for life?

(148 Posts)
ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 20:53:24

Trying to register, my 11year old nephew fancied it, but no space on the online form for anything other than ms, miss, Mrs, Dr, rev or prof in the title space. Is it women only?

suebfg Sun 28-Apr-13 20:56:34

I think it is yes

Yes women only, no idea why really but does seem a bit unfair confused

This really annoys me, the whole women only, pink race crap. Yes, Race for life, but let men join in too and it not be pink.

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:00:32

Well that's fucking shit. He's been running with me, seen the adverts and asked if we could enter.

It's for cancer research though, cancer isn't gender aware.

YoniRanger Sun 28-Apr-13 21:00:32

It's women only. Not that many things are really.

I think it's primarily to keep the races unthreatening and not competitive because its not just about raising money but encouraging women to exercise in a supportive way.

Just like women only gyms and swimming sessions.

If he wants to run 5ks look for a parkrun or similar.

saintmerryweather Sun 28-Apr-13 21:01:13

Boys under 12 can run it theres a whole section on the website why men cant run it. i cbs to go find it for you though

IneedAyoniNickname Sun 28-Apr-13 21:02:15

IIRC boys under the age of 7 can run. Ds1 was registered as miss when we did it a few years ago, but was too old to do it the next year.

Having said that, they might not physically stop him running, and he may still get a goody bag at the end. But he won't have a number.

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:05:28

There's fuck all on the registration page I'm on!

saintmerryweather Sun 28-Apr-13 21:06:29

A very quick google has shown you have to ring them to enter a boy. not quite sure why people dont even bother looking before they start whinging but there you

raceforlife.cancerresearchuk.org/utilities/faqs/who-can-enter/index.html

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:08:36

Ah see, you could be arsed after all, well done!

Iteotwawki Sun 28-Apr-13 21:09:19

Boys 12 and under can run but you need to call the website number to register, you can't do it online.

I can't understand why it's a women only thing. Very little cancer is gender specific. I've had to treat men with breast cancer - there's no support out there for them.

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:11:19

Still begs the question why it's a female only event...

saintmerryweather Sun 28-Apr-13 21:11:36

I had nothing better to do and was feeling kind grin

Fleecyslippers Sun 28-Apr-13 21:13:22
saintmerryweather Sun 28-Apr-13 21:13:58

One of the posters has said that there is a whole section on the website about why it is women only, then looked up some info and you thanked her with a sarky comment. If you want to know why it's women only then look it up yourself and stop being snotty to someone who is trying to help.

Cross posted - well there you go 2 posters including saintmerryweather who I was referring to earlier have done your work for you op. Happy now hmm

pickledginger Sun 28-Apr-13 21:21:10
McNewPants2013 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:25:04

If men want one, why don't they set one up.

Like run for life.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Sun 28-Apr-13 21:26:37

I think they should do a golf one, for testicular cancer.
'Balls to cancer'

That's not very relevant to the op I know but I see your point

McNewPants2013 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:27:00

Oh wait they did and men wasn't interested

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:27:28

Hardy ha ha. Yes yellow I'm ecstatic, thanks for asking grin

meglet Sun 28-Apr-13 21:27:48

Why would making it women only make it uncompetitive? I'm competitive in a yoga class, let alone the race for life. I stopped doing it as there were so many dawdlers getting in the way and it gave me the rage.

ReallyTired Sun 28-Apr-13 21:30:46

I think that the Race for Life should be open to anyone. Men can get breast cancer although it is rare. Boys suffer when their mummies die from breast cancer. Men suffer when their partners die from breast cancer.

Have to say, I'm not totally in agreement with their reasons why not, but I understand them. There are LOTS of men for whom 5K is sufficient challenge.

As for setting up your own event, I know someone who did. For male breast cancer and testicular cancer. Trying to get ANY coverage in the local press to publicise the event and get others to take part resulted in almost no coverage at all. Because it wasn't organised by a major national charity and didn't have their huge backing in terms of admin and marketing was the excuse constantly given. So it was a one-off event and much as those of us who ran it and tried to publicise it wanted it to continue, we couldn't afford to.

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:31:16

But why have separate events? I run a little, dn enjoys joining in, dh runs a bit too. None of us competitive or even timing ourselves, just keeping active. And we all care about cancer. So it would be nice to do something together.

Their reason for it being female only smacks off daft women in pink being scared of the manly competitive men.

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:33:39

But it's ran for cancer research, not specifically breast cancer (which isn't strictly female).

Fleecyslippers Sun 28-Apr-13 21:34:52

Did you READ the links that people have posted ? hmm

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:38:38

Yes I have fleece, that is for asking. Why would you think I haven't?

That link says very little other than enough are too competitive, they tried a men only one that didn't work...

I'm still wondering why though. Is it really that unusual for a faq page to still leave someone questioning something?

LippiPongstocking Sun 28-Apr-13 21:39:57

"We have trialed 5k events for men in the past. Run for Moore in aid of the Bobby Moore Fund was a 5K series of events for men which in 2009 we took the difficult decision to cancel. Unfortunately there was insufficient interest from men to take part and to return their sponsorship money, making it difficult to justify investing in it any further"

McNewPants2013 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:41:53

The same could be said about football, there is Liverpool men and women..... Why not combine the genders in all sport.

What annoys me is when there is something specifically for women has got to be made into something that seems sexist.

There are events men and women can race in aid of cancer. Like SHINE if you care to read any of the links.

Branleuse Sun 28-Apr-13 21:42:31

I've seen blokes do it in drag

purrpurr Sun 28-Apr-13 21:43:36

I think she's raising a valid point here, and judging from the links provided by lots of folk, it sounds like what is a sexist event will continue to be so because it makes good business sense. When you're in the business of saving lives... Fair enough. Almost. I do think its right to question this.

jellybeans Sun 28-Apr-13 21:44:26

It should be open to all. Ridiculous.

Fleecyslippers Sun 28-Apr-13 21:44:28

I'm sure if you give Cancer Research a ring, they'll whip their fund raising team and strategy planners into shape for you and let the menz join in.

Or you could just go and sign yourself up for a fundraising event that appeals to your exacting nature?

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:45:41

Oh yes, a night time marathon walk does not equal a 5k run!

Jeez o some of you are like dogs with bones, I read the gratefully received links, I took Google lessons, I still have questions about the whole thing really. Is that ok?

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:47:31

Right o fleece, I'll give that a go and hereby solemnly swear not to question, ponder or attempt to discuss anything ever again.

MrSlant Sun 28-Apr-13 21:48:41

If it was for men and women then my competitive DH would have done it with the women from work and I would have looked after the children,
as it is, I run it with the women from his work, it is great fun and he looks after the children. There are hundreds of 5k events out there every weekend but only one 5k event that gets women from lots of different groups to gang together, train and have a great time running in a brilliant atmosphere. I am totally for everyone being the same regardless of gender but for this I can happily make an exception seeing the amount of people who train for this when they wouldn't a normal 5k and the huge amount of money raised. I think there are a lot of women who, sadly, would feel self conscious racing with men but not in this and if it brings them to enjoying running and starting other more inclusive races then that is great too.

Fleecy I think your attitude is unwarranted, even with this being AIBU

Fleecyslippers Sun 28-Apr-13 21:54:49

'MY' attitude VoiceofReason ?

That's really, really REALLY tickled me grin

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 21:55:57

So is it the fun run aspect of it that appeals to the lassies? I will Google and look into similar fun more family friendly 5is, I'm sure there are some out they, don't get your knickers in a twist I will look into it myself, just on the back of the advertising and publicity of the race for life (it's even advertised on the kids channels so I'm guessing that's why it's the event that's grabbed my nephews attention) out was the first one that came to mind. I knew it was doused in pink but had no idea it actively excluded men.

shallweshop Sun 28-Apr-13 21:56:33

Why can't men and women just do their own things sometimes without it being sexist?

YoniRanger Sun 28-Apr-13 22:01:30

Poor Men, never get anything just for them hmm

Fleecyslippers Sun 28-Apr-13 22:03:11

I think MN should start a campaign. Raceforlifetoincludethepoormenz.

wine

BikeRunSki Sun 28-Apr-13 22:04:18

ParadiseChick, you and your DN might be interested in Parkrun.

specialsubject Sun 28-Apr-13 22:04:32

it is women-only. Not that I sponsor anyone for this kind of thing, but I definitely don't contribute for this. Imagine the outcry if there was a men-only race.

to donate to cancer research, give some money directly to the charity; no overheads, no banners, no litter pink ribbons. Remember that Justgiving etc take 5%.

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 22:04:33

Dear me fleece, you have isshoos.

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Sun 28-Apr-13 22:04:41

aren't there other 5k runs for cancer that are open to both men and women?

<i have no idea as i've never looked into it>

"What annoys me is when there is something specifically for women has got to be made into something that seems sexist."

^^agree with this.

fengirl1 Sun 28-Apr-13 22:05:16

Does anyone know if you can horse ride it? Can't find any info which helps. smile

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 22:07:31

Don't know about horses but dogs can. I'm an expert you see, having read the links.

Serenitysutton Sun 28-Apr-13 22:09:22

They tried ( and continue to try) to put on men only events for testicular cancer- they are poorly supported and men aren't interested.

I thought there were in the region of 300 men a year diagnosed with breast cancer?

Serenity - as I posted earlier, the big difference seems to be publicity. Race for Life and some of the Starlight (also women-only) walks seems to get enormous amounts of publicity - presumably because the charity is large and has a substantial marketing team and spend behind them. I am always on the look out for similar types of events for men and they are few and far between and you tend not to hear about them until afterwards. It's nonsense to say the men aren't interested - they simply don't hear about it in the way everyone does Race for Life.

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 22:16:04

It's because of the publicity dn asked to do it. Sadly he understands cancer and the devastation it causes, it struck close to home with him.

toboldlygo Sun 28-Apr-13 22:17:16

Why not just do Parkrun?

Wouldn't advise trying R4L with a dog, the events are far too busy and crowded. Plenty of other more canicross friendly events available.

ParadiseChick Sun 28-Apr-13 22:18:59

You're alright, I don't have a dog but its nice to know they'd be more welcome than my husband! grin

Serenitysutton Sun 28-Apr-13 22:24:40

The bobby Moore races had loads of publicity. Men still weren't interested. The odd bloke here and there is no good.

The business model works well this way for CRUK. Women who might be embarrassed/ intimidated to run with men can ramble round with their friend/ daughter so matter how unfit/ overweight/ embarrassed they are. If such women were willing to do other types of races they would, but they don't. RFL is absolutely unique in that respect and you can't knock something that gets people out exercising who never usually would.

toboldlygo Sun 28-Apr-13 22:29:23

My DP told me he'd move out if I brought another dog home, I told him to pack his bags. grin

Honestly R4L isn't that enjoyable if you're already a runner of any variety, it's too busy and I just found myself getting narky with all the self-congratulatory 'I walked shuffled 5k' pinkness of it. I know I am BU in that regard. I also got lots of emails after the event begging me to submit the funds raised (which I did, obviously) because apparently a huge number of people don't actually submit any donations at all.

Tough Mudder events, now... no reason you couldn't do something like that and fundraise for a cancer charity.

Fleecyslippers Sun 28-Apr-13 22:32:17

But that the thing OP 'I' don't have the ishoos.
If I want to do something, and I agree with the ethos, the strategy and the aims I'll do it.
I don't expect an established, effective, nationally run fundraising event which generates a significant revenue for an efficient and valuable charity to change the format just because 'I' don't (or choose not to) understand it's appeal to the thousands and thousands of other people who take part in it every year.

And with regards horses, I did see one wearing a pink tutu at the start line once. Looked fairly unisex.

toboldlygo Sun 28-Apr-13 22:32:25

...and now I feel bad because Serenity is right, anything that gets people running when they usually wouldn't is brilliant. And if it being women only is part of that, so be it.

HellonHeels Sun 28-Apr-13 22:42:15

There are men only events for cancer fundraising.

Like this one here

Cherriesarelovely Sun 28-Apr-13 22:48:23

I think it is for a couple of reasons, it is a sort of USP. Plus it is to keep it less competitive (and as someone who has participated in many running races I think it is generally true that once men get involved the atmosphere becomes more competitive). Mind you when I did the 10k a few years ago that was open to men and women.

I do agree with lots of the points people have made though about cancer affecting men too.

Serenitysutton Sun 28-Apr-13 22:48:33

(to boldly go I'm also a runner and I wouldn't dream of doing one as a race for all the reasons you mention- although I have done a 25 minute one a few years ago, sometimes you can break away from the crowd. But there tonnes of much better 5k races around now as you say, and for a race it's v expensive as think is like £20 to enter!)

PickledLiver Mon 29-Apr-13 03:54:44

No fen I doubt you can ride it. The courses often go over roads, parks, bridges, wiggly lanes. Not suitable terrain for horses. Plus there are far too many crowds - the runners are released in big batches - wouldn't be safe for anyone involved really. Better to do your own trek for charity if you wanted to do something horse based.

FWIW you also don't have to wear pink. My thick friend was aghast when I said I wouldn't be hmm (I wore green to represent liver cancer)

PickledLiver Mon 29-Apr-13 04:00:28

The Races for Life I've been on have organised runners into 3 main sections - runners, joggers & walkers - separated them down further into batches and then stagger the starts.

Since the 'joggers' are broken up into 'fast joggers' and 'slower joggers', the 'walkers' category usually consists of little old ladies, those in wheelchairs or who are otherwise disabled, or those who have cancer themselves.

Before the whole thing begins, they have a warmup sesh done by some local Z-lister, usually a terrible and cheesy radio presenter. Last year the twat who obviously thought he was Chris Moyles or something referred to the 'walkers' as 'the guys who eat too many burgers'. Yeah. Fucking classy.

I'd rather run with blokes than have another warmup shitty fake Zumba session run by that twat.

PickledLiver Mon 29-Apr-13 04:08:13

Bit cruel to chastise those who congratulate themselves for shuffling 5k since the shufflers are often those who currently have cancer. Yes, it is roughly a £20 entry, but it's for charity. I ran my last R4L last year, it's a good way to start out and get some confidence in running.

mirai Mon 29-Apr-13 04:40:38

It's amazing how some people try to make an issue of of things. If you don't like it, don't do it.

CurlyKiwiControl Mon 29-Apr-13 06:57:59

I'm shock that you would sneer at someone for shuffling along.

So fucking what, at least they are trying to do something, rather than sitting at home doing nothing.

Really bitchy.

That shuffler may be disabled, have cancer themselves, or may just be unfit but doing their best because they have lost someone to cancer.

Disgusting.

minibmw2010 Mon 29-Apr-13 07:05:39

They are women only because when they started it was a good gimmick that caught people's attention and it took off in a big way because of the clever marketing and novelty. They aren't going to change a successful format.

ApocalypseThen Mon 29-Apr-13 07:29:32

I know quite a few women who only do one event a year - a women's mini marathon. It's the only thing they feel comfortable doing, and I see no reason why that should be taken from them. The older, the less fit, those carrying more weight feel happy and comfortable participating.

Isn't that enough?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 29-Apr-13 07:34:32

Please don't get on a complainy thing about men and older boys not being allowed to run certain races....women and girls are stealthily excluded from ALL kinds of things.

Branleuse Mon 29-Apr-13 07:37:40

I think it's fine that it's a women thing. I think it makes more women feel able to take part as a fun thing rather than a competitive race

Lazyjaney Mon 29-Apr-13 07:39:43

A woman-only event seems retrogressive in this day and age, especially as cancer isn't sex-specific. If it was men only I can imagine there would be protests etc etc.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 29-Apr-13 07:41:35

Yes but men have had and still have MANY events for them only...it's a fact that boys can't join Brownies and girls can join Beavers....it's fair for many reasons.

A lot of women on Race for Life are very vulnerable and the race needs to be gentle and non threatening. Men are bigger, louder and faster...the entire feeling would change.

Forwardscatter Mon 29-Apr-13 10:00:38

A few facts about RFL to no one in particular.

You don't have to wear pink
Money raised goes into a pot that funds research into all cancers. It's not a breast cancer research fundraiser.
When they asked women if they wanted men involved, women said no.
When they asked men if they wanted to take part, most said no.
It raises shot loads of cash so why change a winning formula?

If you're so hell bent on raising cash for Csncer Reseach then there are a zillion other things you can do. Why focus on the one thing you can't? I have no time for men who comain about this sort of crap. It takes a special type of small pathetic mind to complain about stuff like this. ESP if the research funded by it benefits men.

And breathe.

aliasjoey Mon 29-Apr-13 10:07:33

pickled the DJ for the women-only race was a man?

toboldlygo Mon 29-Apr-13 10:07:42

Dare to criticise R4L and I'm clearly bashing disabled people and people with cancer. hmm I actually said that it was a brilliant idea for non-runners. If it takes all of the pinkification, 'you go sister' and keeping it women only to encourage participation from people who wouldn't otherwise run a step then so be it, long may it continue.

As the OP seems to have some running experience and is looking for events that will be more inclusive of her DN I was just suggesting that there are plenty of other options available. Anyone already accustomed to running may well find R4L a bit frustrating and not enjoyable, as I did (though I raised money all the same before anyone nitpicks on that as well).

Parkrun is very inclusive and new ones are springing up everywhere - no reason you couldn't run one of those and make a donation to charity. Local fun runs and running club events, Tough Mudder, Brutal series, various mountain/fell running events, canicross trailrunners, Mud Runner series, XRunner - huge range of distances, locations and difficulty, all can be run for charity.

ThingummyBob Mon 29-Apr-13 10:19:26

I think the 'Movember' tache growing thing is fast becoming the male equivalent to RFL in that it unites men from all walks of life doing something positive for cancer research charities.

Meh. Its all good, don't enter if you don't like the ethos OP. There are loads of fundraisers/serious races and everything in between each year, I'm not sure its an issue tbh confused

KansasCityOctopus Mon 29-Apr-13 10:26:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin Mon 29-Apr-13 10:32:05

Well, at the risk of admitting I hadn't bothered to read all the stuff about Race for Life I'm another who didn't realise it was a women-only event. Hmm, not sure how I feel about it now. Don't like anything to be segregated when it comes to fundraising.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 29-Apr-13 10:33:06

What Kansas said.

toboldlygo Mon 29-Apr-13 10:40:35

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

It's a woman only event. It's successful. Why should either of those aspects be changed? men can't do it no, they'll have to do something else. Hardly earth shattering.

toboldlygo - I think it's you who are being rude.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 29-Apr-13 10:46:56

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

SirChenjin Mon 29-Apr-13 10:48:04

Just seems sad that in this day and age events are segregated on the basis that you have either a penis or a vagina. Ah well, 'twas always thus I guess.

Forwardscatter Mon 29-Apr-13 10:49:16

alias
It's a women only event but men can take part in other ways by supporting, cheering, volunteering. The warm ups are excruciatingly naff, but it's otherwise a great event and emotional at times when you read the messages people wear.

LippiPongstocking Mon 29-Apr-13 10:51:30

There ARE Men's events. There ARE Women's events. There ARE MIXED events. Find the event you like and run it.

R4L is not, btw, a "sporting" event, it's actually a fundraising event. A highly successful one. If it didn't exist, cancer research would be in a far worse state than it is.

To get back to the OP, your nephew can run, but you can't register him online. There are other events which will be easier to have your nephew run alongside you though.

Forwardscatter Mon 29-Apr-13 10:56:53

Thought that using Kaiser Chiefs in the ad this year cut through much of the naff very well.

But if naff is what it takes to get the pounds in, naff it is.

bollockstoit Mon 29-Apr-13 11:02:56

I'm doing it this year. I have just started running again. I'm overweight. I'm glad there is a race that I can do that's not overly competitive, and has a supportive atmosphere. I won't be wearing anything pink though. And I'm glad the money I raise will go to research into cancers that affect women, men and children. I wouldn't feel able to do a mixed race at the moment. I'm sure not many men (or women) would begrudge me this.

Next you women will be wanting the same prize money as the men for the ladies singles championship at Wimbledon, despite the fact that you have to play fewer games...

Oh, hang on a minute....

smile

LippiPongstocking Mon 29-Apr-13 12:06:36

Yes, because Wimbledon and R4L are precisely the same thing. <belms> Women used to get less prize money at Wimbledon - the organisers raised it to get publicity, no other reason than that.

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 29-Apr-13 12:11:52

I did it in Glasgow last year. I just wanted to run a 5k and that was the most convenient one to do. A few people sponsored me, but I didn't care about the charity in particular. But, at the starting line, I got into a conversation with a scientific research person who works for the organisation and she told me about the work we were funding. That was really nice to hear just before starting the race.

During the race, I saw women with t shirts printed with the names and photos of loved ones they were running in memory of, and it was very touching.

The noise of tens of thousands of feet pounding the pavement, the spectators cheering, the bagpipes at every kilometre... it was all very exciting.

I am really glad that I did it.

YoniMeKateMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 29-Apr-13 12:13:07

Hello all,

We've just deleted a few personal attacks, so we thought we'd drop you a reminder of our talk guidelines. Please do report anything else you'd like us to look at.

Lippi, I was being ironic, hence the smile. Although it wasn't raised for publicity, it was raised because the top female tennis players kicked off huge time about 'equality'.

PickledLiver Mon 29-Apr-13 12:41:48

aliasjoey yes he was. Men aren't excluded from the event though, just the race. I wish that twat had been though angry

ParadiseChick Mon 29-Apr-13 12:50:33

So the basis seems to work on the assumption that men are professional, competative, good and fast runners. M

toboldlygo Mon 29-Apr-13 12:53:31

I see that the post telling me to fuck off has remained. hmm

For the last time - as a non runner, someone just starting out, someone who is disabled, who is recovering from injury, who may feel intimidated by running alongside men, who are sensitive about their weight or appearance when exercising, who need that supportive atmosphere to be able to run or walk or exercise or whatever - it's great. Really, truly great.

For the OP who was looking for an event her male relative can take part in, not so much. Nor for anyone actually wanting to run the course without being painfully jostled and squashed by a horde of people who have overestimated their ability and chosen the wrong start group. Nor for anyone who objects on principle to it being a women only event. Lots of alternatives available though.

I apologise for my inflammatory use of 'shuffled' but I did state that I was being unreasonable and narky.

Perhaps they need to look again at the start lines - the first group to start I recall being defined as those expecting to finish the course in something like under 18 minutes, which is a very pro time, but the next group was something like up to 35 minutes. Huge difference between those running 20 minute times and those doing 35, it created a massive bottleneck. Walkers were at the back and had all the time and support they needed to finish.

pickledginger Mon 29-Apr-13 12:57:48

Your nephew can run as he's 11. What's your issue now?

YoniMeKateMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 29-Apr-13 13:00:21

toboldlygo

I see that the post telling me to fuck off has remained. hmm

For the last time - as a non runner, someone just starting out, someone who is disabled, who is recovering from injury, who may feel intimidated by running alongside men, who are sensitive about their weight or appearance when exercising, who need that supportive atmosphere to be able to run or walk or exercise or whatever - it's great. Really, truly great.

For the OP who was looking for an event her male relative can take part in, not so much. Nor for anyone actually wanting to run the course without being painfully jostled and squashed by a horde of people who have overestimated their ability and chosen the wrong start group. Nor for anyone who objects on principle to it being a women only event. Lots of alternatives available though.

I apologise for my inflammatory use of 'shuffled' but I did state that I was being unreasonable and narky.

Perhaps they need to look again at the start lines - the first group to start I recall being defined as those expecting to finish the course in something like under 18 minutes, which is a very pro time, but the next group was something like up to 35 minutes. Huge difference between those running 20 minute times and those doing 35, it created a massive bottleneck. Walkers were at the back and had all the time and support they needed to finish.

Hi toboldlygo

Sorry, it wasn't intentional. Please do report anything you want us to look at.

ParadiseChick Mon 29-Apr-13 13:41:08

Am I required to have an issue?

Yes, DN is 11 and can run with me. Although I'm looking into other entry level fun run type things that even DH could join us for.

He isn't a professional competitive runner, would be nice to run it together but we can't.

My DN asked specifically about R4L as his grandad (my dad) died last year of bowel cancer. He knows Cancer Research as a charity as we collected for them at the funeral. Shoot us now for wanting to participate in a highly publicised event for a charity an 11 year old relates to.

For me, a very novice runner with not much knowledge of events and a TV, R4L is the first thing that comes to mind as it is so well publicised as an event. I'm not advocating women only, men only, dog only races - it would just be nice to particrpate together. Lucky for DN the year he's asked to do this he can, won't be able to next year which is a shame.

But, no issue, just interested and open to people's experiences and views on the matter - is that alright with you? hmm

pickledginger Mon 29-Apr-13 14:00:06

Your AIBU was 'to wonder why boys can't run'. They can.

toboldlygo Mon 29-Apr-13 14:16:12

Apologies YoniMNHQ, I misunderstood, I thought you meant that all personal attacks had been deleted not just those that had been reported.

ParadiseChick Mon 29-Apr-13 14:24:25

Oh dear.

There's a difference between asking for clarification of a fact (can boys run? Yes they can, under certain circumstances. End of discussion) and wondering why something is the way it is, having a discussion about it, hearing people's views and experiences on the matter.

I am wondering, questioning, asking and listening to the people on the thread with a useful input.

Are we ok to carry on discussing the matter in this thread or would you rather I asked for it to be shut pickled you know, seeing as I have my answer and all that.

pickledginger Mon 29-Apr-13 15:57:12

I would rather if you have an issue with an event being woman only you address that directly without using your nephew.

ParadiseChick Mon 29-Apr-13 16:19:07

Eh?

higgle Mon 29-Apr-13 16:29:07

They mentioned loss of revenue if ti was not women only. I certainly wouldn't sponsor anyone in a race which excluded either sex from competing.

Lazyjaney Mon 29-Apr-13 16:36:10

You'd think that all men are Neanderthals all rushing to trample everyone underfoot to grab the glittering prize here!

But even if some delicate women just couldn't run with hairy scary men around, barring boy-kids just seems a tad spiteful (or agenda-ed) to me. I have sons, I wouldn't enter or sponsor anything that barred them - it would annoy me tbh.

pickledginger Mon 29-Apr-13 16:50:55

They aren't barred. Boys under 12 are welcome.

SirChenjin Mon 29-Apr-13 16:58:44

What, so boys over the age of 12 suddenly become knuckle-grazing mouth-breathing ogres who shouldn't be in the vicinity of women for fear of offending our sensibilities? hmm

I must confess to being unaware that the R4L was female-only until this thread, and in fact I sponsored a friend just this morning who is taking part at the weekend. I won't be sponsoring anyone taking part in future I'm afraid, just as I wouldn't sponsor any national charity fundraiser which specifically banned my DD from taking part due to a lack of penis.

My mum died of cancer last year so it's a cause very dear to my heart, but nope, R4L is off my list now.

bollockstoit Mon 29-Apr-13 17:11:31

But it won't matter if you do stop sponsoring R4L entrants, will it SirC? They will still make plenty of money for cancer research, which is surely the point?

KansasCityOctopus Mon 29-Apr-13 17:23:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bollockstoit Mon 29-Apr-13 17:25:54

Don't tell me I can't grow a moustache just because I lack a penis! wink

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 29-Apr-13 17:34:41

women are amazing when they get together, the female solidarity feeling is a joy. The world is full of things for men to enjoy with or without their partners, why oh why do we have to share every bloody event we organise for women with the poor little loves? I used to organise International womens day conferences and every bloody year I had to have the same conversation as to why men could not attend. did they organise one for themselves? did they heck as like. Yes men are great too but nothing beats for me that feeling of being amongst a group of women who understand you. I run it and DH and DS! and 2 come and yell from the sidelines, DH is a runner, he is happy to enter other stuff and support me in this ONE event. THAT is why men are not invited, its organised for women, Movember anyone? (apols to any hairy women out there who join in with that one)

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 29-Apr-13 17:37:34

if you care about the charity surely you give whoever its organised for ffs. I gave to Movember, I care that family members died from fucking cancer I DO NOT care who runs in what event or collects in whatever way they choose as long as money is being raised to help say fuck off to cancer.

SirChenjin Mon 29-Apr-13 21:32:37

Nope, I can give to charities linked to my mum's cancer in plenty of other ways - I can just choose not to donate to R4L on the grounds that I don't approve of their stance on not allowing the men/boys in my family to take part. You're right Bollock, it won't stop them making money which is as it should be, but this form of segregation doesn't sit right with me. I've never got the whole wimmin/menz solidarity thing though tbh.

Growing a moustache is most definitely NOT a male only event Kansas - you just wait until you reach your mid-forties grin

pud1 Mon 29-Apr-13 22:02:13

Have you heard of the relay for life [http://relay.cancerresearchuk.org/site/PageNavigator/Home]. I have only heard of it recently. Looks more inclusive

pud1 Mon 29-Apr-13 22:03:06
MilgramsLittleHelper Fri 03-May-13 16:16:26

•Around 158,900 males and 156,300 females were newly diagnosed with cancer each year in the UK during 2007–09, corresponding to incidence rates of 427 per 100,000 males and 371 per 100,000 females
•Around 81,600 males and 74,600 females died from cancer in each of those years in the UK, corresponding to mortality rates of 209 per 100,000 males and 151 per 100,000 females

Source: Office of National Statistics
http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/cancer-unit/cancer-incidence-and-mortality/2007-2009/index.htm

Good luck to the Race for Lifers and the good that they do, but for the reasons above we do need more events of similar magnitude that the guys can get involved in directly. Race for Life started from humble beginnings but people played the long game and it grew into something awesome. Run for Moore was doing fine, but then it was pulled after three years. The reasoning was due to lack of takeup- I've also heard this reasoning in Mens health service provision- Men don't visit their Health Care provider so no point in offering them certain diagnostic checks. So give the guys a chance, raise some cash and make the whole thing fairer! smile

SisyphusDad Fri 03-May-13 20:33:14

Have read the entire thread with - ahem - interest and would like to add my perspective - personal and "manz" both - to it.

My OH managed the R4L last year, a couple of months before she died of breast cancer and leukaemia. She and her friends came in a clear last but dammit, she did it on her own legs all the way! She was accompanied, informally, by our two under-12 DSs. This year they've asked if they could do it again, in Mummy's memory; not determined but 'would like.' I had to explain - paraphrased for effect because I'm a bit irritated - that sorry, they - or more to the point I - have the wrong shaped bits between my legs.

The most commonly cited reason on this thread for it being women-only (OK, I can't be bothered to read the FAQs) seems to be that men would be "too competitive". Well, if the advance (female-only, of course) guard at last year's event weren't competitive, I don't know another word for what they were. And as for my fragile, competitive male ego, I would probably be rather embarrassed to be beaten by a snail that had sniffed super-glue and accidentally spilled some of it on itself, but that's about it.

/Rant WHY THE FUCK IS THIS EVENT EVEN SEEN AS A THEATRE FOR COMPETITION? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? /End

Havent bothered reading all the thread as I got slightly stabby at the derogatory terms used towards men, such as the "little loves"

Equality is equality. I would not support anything that encourages sex discrimination, on any grounds. For tge posters who have asked if it is neseccary, I suggest you consider reading and re-reading the post above.

One comment suggested the men could get involved by cheering confused what a shame them pesky feminists didnt take that advice and do the same when their husbands went to vote.

Letitsnow9 Fri 03-May-13 22:17:15

I don't understand it other than the marketing of 'girls come together', 'girls you owe this to your sisters', I'm a fan of raising money for research into cancer (although am a little sad that cancer research only give 1% of their funding to childhood cancer) but not such a fan of all the tickled pink or race for life girly thing! It's great your nephew wants to join in

Letitsnow9 Fri 03-May-13 22:20:01

"Have read the entire thread with - ahem - interest and would like to add my perspective - personal and "manz" both - to it.

My OH managed the R4L last year, a couple of months before she died of breast cancer and leukaemia. She and her friends came in a clear last but dammit, she did it on her own legs all the way! She was accompanied, informally, by our two under-12 DSs. This year they've asked if they could do it again, in Mummy's memory; not determined but 'would like.' I had to explain - paraphrased for effect because I'm a bit irritated - that sorry, they - or more to the point I - have the wrong shaped bits between my legs.

The most commonly cited reason on this thread for it being women-only (OK, I can't be bothered to read the FAQs) seems to be that men would be "too competitive". Well, if the advance (female-only, of course) guard at last year's event weren't competitive, I don't know another word for what they were. And as for my fragile, competitive male ego, I would probably be rather embarrassed to be beaten by a snail that had sniffed super-glue and accidentally spilled some of it on itself, but that's about it.

/Rant WHY THE FUCK IS THIS EVENT EVEN SEEN AS A THEATRE FOR COMPETITION? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? /End"

Bless your boys, and what a mummy they have. I'm sorry to hear you lost your partner, what amazing determination she must of had to complete it and what wonderful boys you have.
Wish cancer research would read this. I know people who have complained to them about various things, especially the % of childhood cancer funding and they are just shot down

pickledginger Fri 03-May-13 22:27:46

It is such a success because it's women (and boys) only. There are hundreds of events that are mixed. There have been men's fundraising events and these have been cancelled due to lack of interest. Race for Life gets women that would never normally consider running to get involved because it's a bunch of women running together.

MilgramsLittleHelper Fri 03-May-13 22:37:19

"There have been men's fundraising events and these have been cancelled due to lack of interest."

Is that lack of interest by Men or lack of interest by the organisations that have the funding and the contacts to carryout such events??

Discrimination is discrimination. I dont give a flying fuck how much you dress it up, its still discrimination even if its for a good cause.

Try swopping the words male and female for black and write. Or gay and straight. Now have a re read and tell me if its still ok.

My major problem with R4L is the whole fucking pinkness and weak girliness of it all. I've really not got a problem with women only or men only events, I can see the pros and cons but why does everything which is a woman only event have to be pink and screechy and "here come the girls"? It's patronising twaddle to behave like that and assume that women are precious little flowers who need to be protected from the mean men.

Have a successful, women-only event by all means but don't be so bloody stereotypical about it.

MilgramsLittleHelper Fri 03-May-13 22:51:34

" women are precious little flowers who need to be protected from the mean men."

Of course the Feminist argument would be that women who've experienced some form of abuse would be more likely to participate.

Mugofteaforme Sat 04-May-13 00:03:15

Bumpity Bump Bump smile

pickledginger Sat 04-May-13 00:27:30

Lack of interest by men. Lack of the running equivalent of bums on seats. Trainers behind the line? One of the increased risk factors for cancer is being overweight/inactive. Female participation in public exercise plummets from puberty. If it gives women the confidence to take part I have no problem with it.

pickledginger Sat 04-May-13 00:28:32

What NotKathy, like women's only gyms?

Clary Sat 04-May-13 01:35:24

Lots of good posts here but I'll add my two pennorth

Race for Life is women and girls only.

IMO (tho I have ever read this anywhere) this is so that women of any age, shape and size (and running ability or not) feel happy to enter.

IME a lot of women don't want to take part in a scary competitive race, but they are happy to go on an inspiring and uplifting event like RfL. If men were involved, maybe the thought is that they would be all macho and lycra-clad and lots of women would be put off.

There are plenty of other races which raise funds for cancer which yr nephew could do such as the Relay for Life, but RfL is women only and always has been. I don't know how long it has been going but I have done it 9 times.

BTW RfL is not a breast cancer fund-raiser, it is to aid research into ALL CANCER (sorry to shout but this misconception upsets me). I always run for my dad who died of bowel cancer. If one person survives for an extra year because of the piffling sums I raise it will have been worth it.

I honestly am sad that some people refuse to sponsor those who do RfL because it is women-only. sad Are women only sessions at the pool not OK? How about women/girl only footy teams? IME the girls' teams are the best places for girls to play football - they seem to get more out of it and get on better. Are they breaking some unwritten rule? My book group is all-female. We don't hate men or anything, but we don't have any. Not at this particular event.

<ranty>

CBA to read the whole thread...but in the last few I've done your nephew could easily run around with you, the marshals aren't gonna drag him off the racecourse. We do Victoria Embankment in Nottingham, always a good turn out and if it's good weather a lovely brisk power walk :-)

I'm not a feminist, i see what you're saying, but pick your battles? It's not really that much of an issue, it's a charity event for women and some of them choose to do it in pink, so what, it's in remembrance of loved one(s) who have died/survived cancer. Like I said up thread if men/young uns want to run round with the women they won't be booted off the course. Get over it/run it/stop moaning.

bollockstoit Sat 04-May-13 09:40:16

I started running by training for a race for life. If it wasn't women only, I wouldn't have felt confident enough to do it tbh. There weren't any park runs in those days, it was either r4l, or local running club organised events. So if r4l hadn't existed, I wouldn't have started running I don't think. I imagine many women who run started out in the same way.
Since then, I have done a couple of 10ks (one of them a r4l one, which I did with my boyfriend), and a half marathon.
I don't particularly like pink, and I'm not some kind of shy, delicate flower who's scared of men, but I wouldn't have had the confidence to run in a mixed event at first.
I was glad that I managed to raise a bit of money for cancer research for cancers that affect men and women.
I imagine that if cancer research though there was money to be made from men only events, they would organise some.
I used to go to a women-only gym and never thought that it was somehow discriminatory. I'm amazed that anyone cares really. If there was a men-only event that raised a lot of money for charity, it wouldn't occur to me to whinge that I wanted to be involved and it' NOT FAIR! Oh wait, there is a men-only thing isn't there, the moustache thing?
I wonder why some people feel so threatened and upset by this?

fromparistoberlin Sat 04-May-13 09:57:35

yanbu

I really really dislike breast cancer UKs marketing

I think their cause is great but their methods fuck me right off

Christelle2207 Sat 04-May-13 11:34:36

I would highly recommend looking into your local Parkrun. I'm just back from one this morning and it's extremely family friendly -boys, girls, mums dads even grandparents (and older) all welcome. And it's not a one off, you can do it every week!
Best habit of a lifetime I ever got into.
At most parkruns you can even bring the dog.

FirstVix Sat 04-May-13 14:22:55

I expect that the 12 year cut off for boys is more about childcare than that they become 'intimidating'. A 13 yr old can usually be left for 1/2 hour to watch the race fairly saftely, an 8 yr old (say) not so much which might stop some women (with no RL support) from participating. This way they can still join in and take their DS with them.

Having read the thread, I think I'm on the side of 'it encourages people who wouldn't participate to do so' and there's lots of other mixed events out there.

Nelly000 Sat 04-May-13 14:33:20

Fuck me. We'll be saying it's sexist to have men's and women's toilets next.

People bitching about R4L being sexist really need to refocus their energy on real, honest to God sexism. You know, the stuff where men and women are genuinely worse off through having breasts or a penis, not just a bit 'put out'

I can't take part in Movember. So the fuck what???

Clary Sat 04-May-13 14:33:41

fromparis it's not run by breast cancer UK.

It's run by and for Cancer Research. All forms of cancer. Incuding those that affect men and women or even only men. See posts on this thread.

Lovecat Sat 04-May-13 14:37:55

6 pages??

If the moaners on this thread put half the energy they've spent whinging on here about discrimination into supporting cancer research there might not be a need for RFL...hmm

MilgramsLittleHelper Sat 04-May-13 15:06:07

....and the whinging will go on until the Guys have their bite of the apple and feel they're part of something big, wonderful and giving. Personally I'd like to see two races, the Men's after the Women's-Then they can cheer each other on smile and just think of all that lovely extra cash!!

interestonly Sat 04-May-13 15:11:43

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MiddleAgeMiddleEngland Sat 04-May-13 15:29:07

Can't believe all the whingers on here. If you don't want to do it, don't. Is that difficult? Put your energy into something positive instead.

But for all the women who are doing it, good for you!

I'll be shuffling along at the back, wearing pink, raising money in memory of a friend who died on Mother's Day, leaving three little children. Hope nobody has a problem with that.

Plenty of my sponsors are men, none of them has an issue with the women-only aspect of the race.

interestonly Sat 04-May-13 15:31:47

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KobayashiMaru Sat 04-May-13 16:51:48

You want to find an event that your DH can join in? Why not try EVERY OTHER BLOODY event out there then, FFS? Instead of whining about your poor downtrodden man heartless banned by the big bad women? hmm

neverlateforwork Sat 04-May-13 17:25:05

I know soooooooo many women who only take part because it's non-threatening and actively encouraging for women. It allows the unfit, the unwell, and those who have literally just off the couch to exercise in public without being subject to criticism. it isn't competitive at all - it's a fundraiser - that's not to say that people don't compete, but anyone who has actually tried to take part knows that sheer volume means you can barely manage a jog for most of the way.

I know no men at all that would be seen taking part, which is probably why the male equivalent flunked big time. That isn't to say that there isn't a need for men who are equally unfit, fat, or unsporty to be allowed to exercise in public without fear of being pointed at and laughed at, but that this is not the event to force the issue.

If RFL opened to men, the numbers of women taking part would plummet. It would lose the 'safe' aura, there would be a slack handful of blokes to replace the women, and the events would be cancelled, leaving a huge hole in the cancer research coffers.

In an ideal world, women wouldn't feel they needed a safe space, of course. But it's fairly stupid to deny that's the way many women do feel...

Fwiw, I've done a few, in solidarity with female friends weighing in at around 24 stone. There is no way at all they would have taken part in any other event. No way. I wear my 'other mother's' name on my shirt when I run RFL. She died ten years ago of bowel cancer.

If I run for me, I choose other events. (I ran the London Marathon and GNR for cancer research). There are plenty of them. So many that you can pretty much pick and choose something that fits your needs - and still raise money for CR.

There are places for female-only participation, and this one 'run/walk' is one of them. And I speak as someone who would generally fight to the death for non-gendered opportunity.

neverlateforwork Sat 04-May-13 17:27:40

Interestonly - if it was your wife running it in memory of her dead mother, I bet it would be a packet. Otherwise, you feel free to sponsor runners in mixed events - there are plenty of them. The money ends up in the same coffers. I'd rather you sponsored where you felt comfortable doing so, and the millions of women who are unlikely to take part in any other sporting event in their lives, felt comfortable enough to come out for RFL. Fortunately, their sponsors will more than make up for your pettiness.

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