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DH and making Sunday 'lunch'

(50 Posts)
IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 19:51:24

I need to preface this by saying dh is pretty right on. We usually both work until stuff is done and then we both relax.

However, on Sundays our Doc have sport training. Generally there is 'stuff to do' so we get in with it.

So DH usually cooks a roast or similar. It is now 7.48 and it still is not ready! It is a bloody chicken and some roasties. The DC are knackered and this was planned for an early night.

Aibu to wonder how long it should take? As it is late every bloody week, why not start it earlier?

Is there something I am missing?

kinkyfuckery Sun 28-Apr-13 19:54:21

Bloody hell that's a bit late, what time did he start?

seriouscakeeater Sun 28-Apr-13 19:56:55

Do it your bloody self then

Tee2072 Sun 28-Apr-13 19:57:26

Is there a reason you don't do it yourself if he never does it at a reasonable hour?

kim147 Sun 28-Apr-13 20:00:04

Is it a big chicken? When did he start?

Snazzynewyear Sun 28-Apr-13 20:04:15

I would have sent them to bed after some other food and planned to give them leftovers tomorrow. Yes we need to know start time.

My DH is like this. A brilliant cook, but is rubbish at cooking to a schedule, so what we do now is that he asks, 'what time do you want to eat,' and he tries to work backwards from this. Most of the time, it's late, like an hour or so.

The alternatives are that he cooks a Sunday lunch when an hour or so doesn't really matter, or he does something less complicated like bangers and mash or fish fingers.

What I tend to do on the days the DCs have sports, is to make a pasta bake or something that can be made in advance and microwaved.

Erm, am I missing the point?

Why didn't you do the dinner then? If you want it earlier, do it yourself!

picnicbasketcase Sun 28-Apr-13 20:09:33

Either do it yourself, or at least start cooking it at a reasonable time and then let him do the rest.

Nagoo Sun 28-Apr-13 20:14:28

I'd have made a sandwich and sent them to bed. YANBU.

Can't you give them something else and reheat it all tomorrow?

hwjm1945 Sun 28-Apr-13 20:18:01

Just like dh tonight!kids knackered.need early night,he said he would do tea,baked pots and cottage cheese and bacon,all stuff we have in.aiming for 6pm to eat,ready at seven ten.took so long cos he had to go out and get s cucumber and feta to make a Greek salad to go with it.he did not think to put spuds in oven until he had gone to shop come back and made Greek saladshock

Nehru Sun 28-Apr-13 20:20:41

i dont see the DIY comments are useful

WHy should she not expect a meal involving kids before 8
its thoughtless of her H

EggsMichelle Sun 28-Apr-13 20:28:40

DH decided he wasn't hungry so wasn't cooking at 5.30 hmm this left me no time to eat until now (bathed, fed and put DS to bed first) I was very hungry!

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 20:51:37

Well as he is a rational adult, I would think him capable of planning.
He has been a parent for a long time, so is presumably familiar with mealtimes.

I kno it sounds a bit ungrateful. But it is not as if he is doing me a favour is it?

He does not seem to twig that you can put something to cook before people are actually home.

I do cook 6/7, so don't see why I should,patronise him by taking over.

But I did not think I was bu, but then people,rarely do, do they?

kim147 Sun 28-Apr-13 20:52:50

Please say you've eaten now grin

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 20:53:00

Chicken was not size of albatross, honestly. He put it in at 4.45. Not sure how it took 3 hours!

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 20:53:56

We have eaten, and it was very nice. Just about two hous later than I think it should have been served.

Nb, we did discuss busy weekend , practice SATS tomorrow and need for early night.

CitrusyOne Sun 28-Apr-13 20:57:41

FIL is the same. 'Dinner will be at 4pm' he says. Rarely is it done before 6pm.

kinkyfuckery Sun 28-Apr-13 21:01:19

He didn't put dinner on until 4.45?? What time did he plan on it being ready for?

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 21:06:29

My guess would be 5pm!

This is the man who made a dentist appointment for 16.20 when his plane arrived at gatwick at 15.45.

He does not seem to understand the passage of time.

Perhaps I am married to dr who

Nehru Sun 28-Apr-13 21:09:08

Practice Sats?!! People take Sats seriously?

Lady. No

Thingiebob Sun 28-Apr-13 21:11:10

I am married to someone who doesn't understand the passage of time as well!

wonderingagain Sun 28-Apr-13 21:13:17

He sounds like a scatterbrain. I bet he's a rocket scientist or a serious intellectual.

Unami Sun 28-Apr-13 21:14:48

Is that late? Really, is 8pm considered late for a week-end dinnertime? We usually eat around then, often later. I couldn't even imagine eating dinner before 7pm.

No idea how it took so long though.

McNewPants2013 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:15:14

I would have your oven looked at, no way should a chicken take 3 hours to cook

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 21:16:13

He is surprisingly practical in many ways, but a knob where roasted chicken is involved.

I don't sweat over practice SATS, but dd does, so we thought she would be less stressed if well rested.

I'm q liking the lady comment! Despite it being all 'street' and critical! Makes me feel grown up!

Iaintdunnuffink Sun 28-Apr-13 21:16:15

Yanbu

If someone is cooking they figure out what time people need to eat at, then work out how long the meal takes to prepare and cook. Then it's a very easy to work out what time to start. It's to a long or complicated process.

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 21:16:52

Dd is only 7, so late for a meal on a school night imo

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 21:17:31

Oven is fine when I cook (6 days out of sodding 7)

McNewPants2013 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:19:19

I am baffled how a chicken could take so long.

IDoTakeTwo Sun 28-Apr-13 21:21:29

Me too!

Not sure what temp he used (I did not micromanage). Presumably he said he put it in at 4.45 but maybe delayed? He as not given us food poisoning yet!

DoJo Sun 28-Apr-13 22:26:45

Don't understand people telling you to cook it yourself - your husband is supposed to be preparing a family meal, why should you be able to rely on his serving it at a time that is convenient for your family? Or should the OP cook every night, even though her husband is clearly prepared to do it, just because he doesn't consider the fact that timing is important? YANBU OP, but very patient!

OTTMummA Sun 28-Apr-13 22:53:25

YADNBU!
I have gone back to work recently and I cook 5/7, always 30 mins after he gets home after his shower.
One of those meals is prepared as I work 3 days a week, but I get home late so DH just needs to heat it up for him and the DC.
However the last 3 weeks he has forgotten to either plate up and put my dinner in the oven, or just not cooked me anything sad
I have changed 'roast' day to midweek when I am cooking as we had to wait 3 hrs (nearly 8pm as well ) to eat one Sunday as he just can not time things or multi task with cooking.
Last week I came home and asked if there was anything prepped and all he had done is left a can on hotdogs on the side, 2 squashed buns that had gone all hard and a can opener.

I just had toast that night, I know it wouldn't of taken me long to make it but I had started work at 5am and got home at 7pm ( much longer days than him )

It makes me feel very unloved and disrespected, I show my love in actions, including nourishing my family and trying to make sure that meals are not late and are tasty/cooked to their liking, I don't think it is too much to expect similar in return.

Give and take and all that.

Sorry that was long, but I still feel quite angry and upset about this tbh.

wonderingagain Mon 29-Apr-13 22:12:11

Manage him. Get him to do Saturdays next time.

CrotchlessJudgyPants Mon 29-Apr-13 22:17:50

Hey, lady. wink Why don't you just do simple dinners on Sunday if you are all busy? It ain't rocket science.

IDoTakeTwo Mon 29-Apr-13 22:23:45

I don't want to manage him. He is not staff! If he can run a business, he can roast a bloody chicken! Surely?

Putting chook in oven with pots is simple IMO

Still liking lady!

wonderingagain Mon 29-Apr-13 22:52:59

Okay Lady. You want Head Chef or kitchen boy? He needs some training. Reorganise his shifts if he can't stand the heat.

allagory Mon 29-Apr-13 23:03:33

Buy a smaller chicken? Poussin? Kids can eat in their PJs?

squeakytoy Mon 29-Apr-13 23:06:04

cook the bloody chicken the day before... or earlier in the day....

you wont die of food poisoning..

iPadTypo Mon 29-Apr-13 23:13:39

Wait...practice ks1 sats???

IDoTakeTwo Mon 29-Apr-13 23:44:13

Kids did eat in pjs

He should solve the prob

Have decided ianbu

raisah Tue 30-Apr-13 03:56:44

My dad is like this, he has no understanding of time & couldnt plan to save his life. We used to dread my mum becoming ill or going away for a nigjt as it would mean no tea before 9pm. He will be reading the paper for about 4 hrs before going to the ships at 5pm to buy ingredients to cook with. Then he can only cook one dish at a time and the kitchen looks like a hurricane went through it. He also ran two very successful restaurants!

MagratOfStolat Tue 30-Apr-13 09:30:30

What the hell?!?!

I've just been on a "husband doesn't do the housework" thread, and the OP is having feminist outrage the likes of which would melt faces.

Yet on here, it's "husband has naffed up the dinner on his night to cook" and we're having "DO IT YOURSELF!". What, so men can be useless feckwits at everything EXCEPT the cooking, which the woman should be doing anyway?

Because that's certainly how it's coming across to me...!

OP - YANBU. Have him work to a schedule next time.

Scholes34 Tue 30-Apr-13 10:08:24

Hadn't intended to buy an oven with a delayed timer when we bought it 12 years ago, but it's been invaluable since we started having a roast regularly on a Sunday. The timings always catch us out if we don't think ahead in the morning and put the roast in and then wait for the oven to fire up at the appropriate time. 4.45 pm is too late to start a roast on a school night!

wonderingagain Wed 01-May-13 08:23:51

He should solve the prob

He probably knows this is what you think. Manage him but stick to your guns.

seriouscakeeater Wed 01-May-13 09:59:10

If this was about a woman who was late cooking dinner and a bloke sat in the living room quietly seething whilst kids starve to death there would be outrage! Calls for get in there and help her, leave the bastard, he's an abuser!
Getting ANYONE todo anything their not that good at whilst you sit back at sit and have surpressed rage and 'I knew you would fuck up' attitude is passive aggressive.

There was loads of ways to sort this ... It's pathetic

seriouscakeeater Wed 01-May-13 10:04:19

^ have him work to a schedule^
manage him
All spoken in the same breath as get him to take responsibilitys grin grin ha ha ha oh the irony!

valiumredhead Wed 01-May-13 10:29:42

Do couple not talk to each other? confused You know he has form for cooking late, so just mention that it's too late for the kids to eat so next time can he start earlier?

melika Wed 01-May-13 10:47:39

Can I have one that cooks please????wink

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