to love farting

(64 Posts)
maddening Sat 27-Apr-13 23:04:33

Post op on codeine - totally constipated and unable to "push" due to surgery - god it feels so good to fart.

MardyBra Sat 27-Apr-13 23:05:16

And mine smell so good too...

I love it. And sneezing is one of my favourite things.

maddening Sat 27-Apr-13 23:07:14

grin

elQuintoConyo Sat 27-Apr-13 23:07:44

I love letting rip.

When I was heavily pregnant I spent about five minutes walking round a fabric shop dropping one with every step.

Ahh, good times.

Kasterborous Sat 27-Apr-13 23:13:37

I always remember my Granny going upstairs to bed and having a quick fart every time she went up a step! Happy memories.

maddening Sat 27-Apr-13 23:32:59

I know ds is definitely awake for the day when he farts - although just stopped cosleeping so that'll be no more <dreamy baby fart memories smile>

Nicole2781 Sun 28-Apr-13 00:12:01

I'm so glad you posted this!

I will show this thread to my husband as he thinks I'm a tramp for finding farts hilarious.

I also find it hilarious when people fart but have a serious face....especially my 7mo DS! Makes my day! grin

BriansBrain Sun 28-Apr-13 00:16:55

I enjoy my first thing in the morning one, its so loud and powerful, it reminds me that I am alive grin

I also look forward to my after work poo at home. I make tea first so it can cool whilst I poo and catch up on MN

WildThongsHeartString Sun 28-Apr-13 00:21:24

Yes, but it is a private pleasure for me. I have never ever managed to do it in front of dh and I'm 49 my bum just automatically seals up in company. Oh but when I'm alone yeeeeehaaa!

Doubtfuldaphne Sun 28-Apr-13 01:42:59

I'm the same! Secret farter smile

YANBU

(We have a family contest to see who can fart the loudest blush)

LittleMissLucy Sun 28-Apr-13 01:49:12

Jesus. blush

ComposHat Sun 28-Apr-13 01:51:40

ame and my fiance love nothing more than a Sunday morning in bed listening to the Archers and having a trumping competition.

LittleFeileFooFoo Sun 28-Apr-13 01:56:07

Have you found the "fart button" app? it's hilarious! My DH and I spent about 10 minutes laughing hysterically this morning.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Sun 28-Apr-13 02:03:00

when I was in hospital having DS I was lay in post op agony (wind pains, pushing against scar) and it literally was agony to take a deep breath let alone fart (which would have solved the problem)

The woman in the bed next to ne was a day ahead of me and spent all her time farting, big, post-op, glorious, pain relieving farts. I hated that cowbag!

My ensuing trumpage the next day was, without doubt, the most enjoyable few hours of my life to date grin

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Sun 28-Apr-13 02:05:12

oh and as a result of strong antibiotics, well, things ain't exactly pleasantly round Casa Brian... blush

ageofgrandillusion Sun 28-Apr-13 02:53:28

Ahhhh what a great thread. A few 'rippers' on a morning certainly clears the cobwebs for me. Farts are class.

recall Sun 28-Apr-13 02:58:52

Nicole I too find farts hilarious grin My friends now call me "Bricks" because I once did such a tremendous fart, one of them thought one of the kids had emptied a bag of wooden bricks onto the floor grin I fell about when I saw her expression of confusion as she looked round the room.

recall Sun 28-Apr-13 03:01:14

I like to let them slip out slow, and then give them a thrust at the end.

maddening Sun 28-Apr-13 07:28:25

Haha - everyone has cheered me up this morning - looking forward to my Sunday constitutional ;)

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Sun 28-Apr-13 08:27:22

<parp>

you really do get the most bizarre threads on here don't you grin

facedontfit Sun 28-Apr-13 16:09:22

It's the only pleasure left in my life! grin

Jestrin Sun 28-Apr-13 16:15:59

DH and I call it playing the parpsichord grin

HandMini Sun 28-Apr-13 16:21:55

Mmm, yes, nothing nicer than that gentle bottom rumble feeling.

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 28-Apr-13 16:39:23

I do love a good fart.

Tishtash2teeth Sun 28-Apr-13 16:49:16

Oh I love a good guff. I do find the older I get the less control I have of my flatulence though. My husband thought I had shit myself the other day as the smell was so pungent!

edwardsmum11 Sun 28-Apr-13 17:25:58

I love when my 19mth son does it... he laughs and shouts... my bum, my bum.

LadyVoldemort Sun 28-Apr-13 17:30:05

I love pumping! My favourites are the just waking up ones, they're so loud and hearty.
The 6pm pumps that prelude the 6.30 poo are pretty good but they just don't compare to the morning ones grin

whosiwhatsit Sun 28-Apr-13 17:36:18

I love farting too. The only time I don't love it, though, is when I wake myself up by farting loudly. It's good for a laugh, true, but I need my sleep!

maddening Sun 28-Apr-13 17:40:31

It's embarrassing going shopping with my dfiance as he takes great delight in farting down the aisles - luckily my op has heralded the use of internet shopping (he has resisted till now) smile

AmberLeaf Sun 28-Apr-13 17:41:19

Farting is one of lifes joys for me!

Particularly enjoy those long, loud 'I now feel 4 inches slimmer round the waist' relieving morning ones.

I also appreciate the farts of my fellow man...and woman.

AThingInYourLife Sun 28-Apr-13 17:43:21

whosi - you wake yourself up with farting?! shock grin

Wow! [awe]

"I enjoy my first thing in the morning one, its so loud and powerful, it reminds me that I am alive."

Yes, yes, me too, me too! smile

I have been farting loads today. It's been a good one grin

tethersend Sun 28-Apr-13 17:45:22

Pull my finger.

TheRealFellatio Sun 28-Apr-13 17:45:49

I hope you don't fart in front of anyone (exept your DP perhaps) as I would not approve at all. hmm

I don't approve of very conspicuous, raucous belching either.

Velve Sun 28-Apr-13 17:54:33

Yes, but also I cannot help but fart. I get incredibly sore tummy if I hold it in. And I'm a gassy person by nature so burps are unavoidabe too.

I do try not to guff in company (of people I don't know well enough).

ThePathanKhansAmnesiac Sun 28-Apr-13 18:16:36

Ho yes, the first Sonic Boom of the morning echoing round the loo!

dementedma Sun 28-Apr-13 18:33:18

Never trust a fart

BiteTheTopsOffIcedGems Sun 28-Apr-13 18:46:36

Brian when I had a csection my midwife told me I should fart as much as I could.
I didn't know and had been trying to hold it in. As soon as she said it my arse said pppppppppppfffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttand I felt better.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Sun 28-Apr-13 18:58:35

grin let's just say any dignity or social convention was erm put to one side in our bay on the maternity ward. I felt a sense of pride and togetherness with my fellow patients grin

marjproops Sun 28-Apr-13 19:02:30

kaster grin my gran was the same! we learnt NVER to go up stairs behind her!

I think its bad manners to fart in front of someone. however...when Im on computer (usually on mn!) i wear headphones listening to radio online too and because I cant hear mine (usually after din dins), because ive headphones on, i think DC cant hear them! (im on a roll atm and shes giggling away, even though i keep going out of the room and saying excuse me!)

ouryve Sun 28-Apr-13 19:03:17

A fart, a fart,
It warms your arse,
It gives your bowels ease.
It warms your bed on a winter's night
And suffocates the fleas

According to my ex-FIL

I'm a rather windy person and do enjoy a good fart when I need one, I must admit. First thing in the morning and last one before I go to sleep are my favourites.

zeno Sun 28-Apr-13 19:05:38

For added pleasure, stink and volume, consume a hearty bowl of Jerusalem artichoke soup at lunchtime. The rewards should begin around 8pm.

You can thank me in a few days when you've tried it. The things are a bugger to peel, but worth every bit of it.

peeriebear Sun 28-Apr-13 19:07:56

Since I had 7mo DS my farts sound exactly like a quacking duck. DD2 finds it HILARIOUS. So do I actually grin
The thing that makes me laugh most is when I fart and somebody says "What?" Like, my voice sounds so similar to farts! Or maybe I sound like a duck when I talk.

marjproops Sun 28-Apr-13 19:09:09

I DONT pop in front of people tho, i try not to in front of DC either, and the biggest turn-off in a guy would be that in my prescence. just bad manners.

and yes, i know its a natural body function but theres still manners. (mary whitehouse comes back as an mnetter in me!)

DC loves it tho.

I dont mind so much if its on a kids programme or something, poo/burp/fart jokes but not in rl!!!

oops, excuse me, off out of the room again!

marjproops Sun 28-Apr-13 19:11:07

This thread is hilarious tho, and NOT helping me keep anything in as i guffaw!!

and what about the sheet waving when it happens in bed? and Ive also woken up by mine. good thing i sleep alone!

marzipananimal Sun 28-Apr-13 19:13:39

grin I also like the smell (of my own - not other people's)

YNK Sun 28-Apr-13 19:19:36

Hahaha, My DGC (age 2) - "do it AGAIN granny!!!!" Lol!

saycheeeeeese Sun 28-Apr-13 19:20:12

Lentils produce the most pungently satisfying farts, like something crawled up your arse and died.

Love a fart thread thanks OP, I also love a good bath fart that is so powerful that the bubbles actually splash you!

maddening Sun 28-Apr-13 22:50:03

well as a vegetarian with ibs I am skilled in this area

memphis83 Sun 28-Apr-13 23:03:16

Dp calls them air biscuits of love.
He spent 4 years trying to get me to fart in front of him and now I do he wants me to stop as I put his to shame <proud>

NotAnotherPackedLunch Sun 28-Apr-13 23:10:54

Now we're grown up and responsible parents we have to defer the ultimate farting hilarity until the children are safely in bed.
It really wouldn't do for them to tell their teachers the Mummy and Daddy sometimes light their farts. grin

Dp says i fart all the time - i wish i did! I only seem to fart when dp is around tho hmmi can be silent all day, he'll walk in and pffffft my bum goes grin it's a wee warning to him to stop trying to bum me heh heh

Madlizzy Sun 28-Apr-13 23:37:49

Duck farts (or quack farts) tend to be more prevalent in the morning. I love a good old arse rumble. Best when you're sitting on the floor and it vibrates through the floorboards. grin

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Sun 28-Apr-13 23:44:36

And can there be any greater pleasure than farting in the bath? grin

DP can hear me two floors away, apparently

ddubsgirl Sun 28-Apr-13 23:58:20

Ohh farts in the bath grin if laying back it tickles ya fanny grin grin grin

my friend is the most glamorous yummy mummy imaginable. perfect blonde hair, flat tummy (after 3 kids), rich husband, totally together and poised at all times.

if anyone farts in her presence, or if she farts herself, she immediately turns into an 8 year old. she finds it the most brilliant hilarious thing ever. I've seen her lie on the floor (totally sober) lift her legs in the air and let rip and then not be able to get up because she's laughing so much grin

ChairmanWow Mon 29-Apr-13 07:26:40

maddening I love you for starting this thread. There is no finer pleasure than letting rip. The louder the better. DH and I do 'fart duets' sometimes. It's beautiful. However my favourite fart of all time was after an endoscopy (during which they inflate your stomach with air). The ensuing trump must have lasted a full minute. Much hilarity.

MansView Mon 29-Apr-13 15:39:19

I love farting at work... I normally go for a wander around some colleagues desk etc

I love picking my nose in the car...it's addictive smile

ouryve Mon 29-Apr-13 15:55:05

I had egg and spinach for lunch.

Tasty, with loud and pungent after-effects grin

ComposHat Mon 29-Apr-13 17:48:59

My favourite work based fart trick requires three people in a lift.

Wait until the first person of the three gets out and then release a 'silent but violent' fart.

As the aroma wafts around the lift look in the direction of the person who has just left the lift and roll your eyes, sigh and shake your head.

Before too long that person will have a reputation as a malicious lift farter.

maddening Mon 29-Apr-13 20:44:29

my friend at my last place had a reputation as a malicious farter - but she did it next to people's desks and ran off afterwards - it did her no favours smile

have been pondering on the subject - farting when you really have to is pretty euphoric as sensations go but the humour aspect as well does really put the icing on the cake - so have decided ianbu farting is fab smile

Kasterborous Mon 29-Apr-13 21:51:06

The best ones are when you are sitting on a hard chair. They really rumble then! I did one a while ago and one year old DD looked at me like hmm!

Kasterborous Mon 29-Apr-13 21:54:28

Yes I remember post c section on the maternity ward, but my problem was constipation the codeine hadn't helped it took me days to manage to go. When I finally did it was such a relief. I went back to my bed and said to DH 'the eagle has finally landed'!

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