to be upset at DH's inflexiblity over holiday cost?

(40 Posts)
Bellaboobah Fri 26-Apr-13 19:42:15

We are looking for a holiday home for ourselves and another family for one week in August. The budget was set at £X.
I have found a home which is more than we could ever hope for at £XplusY.
DH says no, despite seeing the attraction and how perfect the house is, because of the plusY element.
plusY is approx 2 hours pay for him.
The other homes that we have found so far are no where near as special as this one.
AIBU to be pissed off at his inflexiblity?

Roseformeplease Fri 26-Apr-13 19:45:03

TBH, if you can still find somewhere to book (both our holiday homes have been booked for August since January) then you need to snap it up. Why not present him with a list of options and show him why your choice is best?

Doobiedoobedoobie Fri 26-Apr-13 19:45:19

For the sae of 2 hours work I'd say, yes, he's BU. Though he must earn a lot more than me as 2 hours pay for be £25 ish and I can't imagine anyone arguing over anything near that, surely confused

dreamingofsun Fri 26-Apr-13 19:45:51

depends how tight money is for you. can you not pay the extra? tell him that its the only suitable one you can find, and if he won't agree to pay the extra he can sort it. that usually does the trick in our house.

HappyMummyOfOne Fri 26-Apr-13 19:48:32

Can you not fund the difference? In terms of money, how significant is the difference in cost?

Bellaboobah Fri 26-Apr-13 19:51:47

Sorry, it's 4 hours pa. blush
No money isn't tight - and yes, I could fund it, he's just very black and white, that was the fucking budget and we're sticking to it.angry
It just seem so semantic.

Bellaboobah Fri 26-Apr-13 19:52:04

Sorry pendantic.

Euphemia Fri 26-Apr-13 19:53:14

My DH is like that. He has a fixed idea in his head of how much he is prepared to pay for something, based on who knows what. He'll fret over the slightest amount above that, no matter if the cost happens to actually be the going rate!

dreamingofsun Fri 26-Apr-13 19:54:41

tell him you cannot afford that area/time of year/type of accommodation and you will have to do xyz instead (obviously picking something he's not keen on). Show him the long list of places you have looked at. bore him with lots of detail. men have attention of natts, he will soon give up.

Pozzled Fri 26-Apr-13 19:55:16

He's being an idiot, go ahead and book it.

overprotection Fri 26-Apr-13 19:55:44

Where he's gone wrong is in telling you his actual budget, instead of telling you a lower figure given that you would inevitably eye up something just over the figure you're given and beg for it. Then he could "give in" and everyones a winner wink

catgirl1976 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:57:22

Just book it and tell him to get a grip

Pozzled Fri 26-Apr-13 19:57:32

Just thought, will the other family have to pay the extra as well? Are their finances tight? Maybe he's worried about asking them for more than the agreed amount.

Bellaboobah Fri 26-Apr-13 19:58:39

We're treating the other family Pozzled.

mynewpassion Fri 26-Apr-13 19:59:11

Stick to the budget. There will be other costs when you get there. What does the other famoly say?

Pozzled Fri 26-Apr-13 20:02:02

In that case, I stand by my first post- just book it.

Bellaboobah Fri 26-Apr-13 20:19:25

Other family is content, mynewpassion.

Well, if he has vetoed the one that you have found that you think is worth going to, then it is his turn to look.

Bellaboobah Fri 26-Apr-13 22:46:21

Yeah, I guess that's the way to do it. His inflexibilty is just making me growl.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 26-Apr-13 22:55:02

Just book it.

What proportion of X is Y?

Bellaboobah Fri 26-Apr-13 22:57:56

About an eihgth.

JumpingJackSprat Fri 26-Apr-13 23:03:22

Book it and pay the difference yourself. its really not that big a deal.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 26-Apr-13 23:04:44

An eighth is not that big a deal if you are in a position to treat another family and for them to accept it with equanimity.

Just book it.

racmun Fri 26-Apr-13 23:08:26

OMG how annoying.

Let him bloody well sort it out (if you can) and when it's shit you can just tell him it's because he was being a tight arse.

sooperdooper Sat 27-Apr-13 08:10:34

If it was me,I'd just book it and pay the difference, and then just tell DH where I'd booked, it's not a big a deal tbh

Snog Sat 27-Apr-13 08:15:30

All the caginess about actual amounts involved here is ridiculous. Is it really necessary?
2 hours pay equivalent, one eighth of X
Fgs why are you speaking in code, why not state the figures?

sarahtigh Sat 27-Apr-13 09:10:52

well if holiday is £800 an eighth is £100 so that is quite a bit extra, i think if budget was £800 and you found something at £825 well Ok,YANBU but I think £900 is way over that budget so your DH not really being that U

Snazzynewyear Sat 27-Apr-13 09:21:23

Yes actual figures please. Don't worry, I won't shout at you for being over privileged, and just ignore anyone who does.

janey68 Sat 27-Apr-13 09:26:02

I detect caginess here too.
We really need to know amounts to get an idea of what you're talking about
I also wonder whether your dh is not totally happy with funding the other family's holiday, as he's clearly being very firm about this extra addition to the budget.
I don't really understand the relevance of how many hours of dh's work the 'y' amount equates to, if you are looking to pay yourself anyway

clam Sat 27-Apr-13 09:26:55

If he's this pedantic and inflexible, I'd venture to suggest that the holiday is probably the least of your worries.

tiredemma Sat 27-Apr-13 09:28:45

How much extra is it EXACTLY?

Icelollycraving Sat 27-Apr-13 09:43:24

Can we start a sweepstake? I think budget is 2k which is why op is being cagey. I won't judge you for having a nice holiday smile

Geordieminx Sat 27-Apr-13 09:49:40

If its for a week for 2 families and it's perfect then I reckon £3k

So about £300 over budget..l

Dh earns £75ph

janey68 Sat 27-Apr-13 10:03:21

I am surmising from the fact that the OP even thought to include how much the extra money is in terms of hourly earning for DH, that he is in a fairly high powered high paid role and is probably the major breadwinner who is funding this holiday for their own family plus one other family

If this isn't the case it seems a strange thing to mention, or you would at least expect the op to tell us how much of her own income it equates to. I have a hunch that the DH is not entirely happy with the holiday plans at all, and this is maybe his way to exert a bit of control? I don't understand why the other family aren't contributing either. All a bit Odd. And I agree with the comment that this is perhaps the least of their problems if they cannot agree on a holiday budget

5318008 Sat 27-Apr-13 10:12:04

I imagine it would be in the £3ks; we're renting a cottage in N Devon in August, sleeps ten, hot tub, £1660 for the week.

DH earns £45 ph or thereabouts

margaritathatcher Sat 27-Apr-13 10:20:00

I've worked for bosses like this (am a PA). Have wasted hours going backwards and forwards researching prices of flights and hotels only to end up paying more because the price has gone up (as availability has gone down).

I only work with business travel agents now and put things on hold straight away. Only make a point of telling them how much things are now if I consider them to be uber expensive.

I would tell him to find somewhere as you've reached a dead end. He might be able to appreciate how difficult it is to find right thing within budget then.

Twattybollocks Sat 27-Apr-13 11:37:57

Yanbu. I would book it and tell him if he wants it bang on budget, he can find somewhere next year and do all the hard work!

Bellaboobah Tue 30-Apr-13 17:05:27

Snog Sat 27-Apr-13 08:15:30

"All the caginess about actual amounts involved here is ridiculous. Is it really necessary?
2 hours pay equivalent, one eighth of X
Fgs why are you speaking in code, why not state the figures?"

Ime on MN, you get chewed out for what may be perceived as stealth boasting, that's why.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 30-Apr-13 17:06:24

So did you book it OP?

whois Tue 30-Apr-13 18:52:00

1. Ring and see if they will knock some cash off for full payment upfront bringing it down into budget.
2. Book it anyway if you really like it.
3. I reckon budget is £3k+

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