to state there is a right and wrong way to cut a sandwich?

(140 Posts)

Pole to ploe is incorrect.

Around the equator is the One True Way.

Any deviation from this means you are a Sarnie Deviant.


Oh, triangles are acceptable. Mmmkay?


Yama Fri 26-Apr-13 19:24:08

Dd gets triangles.

Ds gets rectangles.

Dh and I don't eat bread.

MortifiedAdams Fri 26-Apr-13 19:24:10

Triangles are only acceptable for toast. Sandwiches should be cut straight across tge middle. Mind, the right sandwich should be in a large round white floury bap which doesnt need cutting.

There is also a right and wrong way to hold a sandwich. not the weird way DS does it that drives me batty

grumpygov Fri 26-Apr-13 19:24:53

Triangles only. They taste so much nicer.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:25:35

Wtf do you mean by pole to ploe (sic) and around the equator.

Can you please draw a diagram?

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:26:08

I do squares unless I am trying to be posh, then it's triangles.

overprotection Fri 26-Apr-13 19:26:23

Triangles are for immature people, they think eating triangle sandwiches make them appear cooler than they actually are.

DameFanny Fri 26-Apr-13 19:26:27

Triangles are Acksherley the one true way. There's science and everything about the increased ratio of filling to bread in each mouthful.

You luddite.

DameFanny Fri 26-Apr-13 19:27:34

Oh, sorry, I see that should be you luddites

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:27:35

I once did a thread on carrot cutting. I am a luddite because I do circles sometimes.

Fakebook Fri 26-Apr-13 19:28:45

Triangles for sweet fillings.

Rectangles for savoury fillings.

Fingers for the baby.

hazeyjane Fri 26-Apr-13 19:28:52

No triangles, for toast or sandwiches.

Cut across the middle, all the crust on one side.

Never cut through the crust.

Doinmummy Fri 26-Apr-13 19:29:13

They have to be cut length wise so that each half has a bit if top crust and a bit of bottom crust.

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 26-Apr-13 19:29:16

Triangles of course.
It's all about the presentation grin
They just look nicer, and I always cut off the crusts.

BanjoPlayingTiger Fri 26-Apr-13 19:29:38

My ds swears his butties taste better if I cut them into triangles.

I would scoff, but I prefer them that way too.

So, yes. YABU. smile

SadGiantPanda Fri 26-Apr-13 19:29:46

Just eat bamboo. No need for stupid sandwiches. Or sadwiches as I call them.

Doinmummy Fri 26-Apr-13 19:29:59

X post haze

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Fri 26-Apr-13 19:30:57

I was once accused of having unnatural ways with radishes.

FBmum Fri 26-Apr-13 19:32:06

Aren't you all cutting your children's sandwiches into cutsie shapes like hearts, dolphins and kittens, as dictated by Annabel Karcrash? confused

everlong Fri 26-Apr-13 19:32:20


Do you mean diagonally is the right way?


Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:33:00

How do you not cut through the crust hazeyjane? Isn't it on all four sides? confused

And what are the poles of the sandwich?

I cut mine in triangles, numbering 2. Husband's in rectangles. A Small Boy either triangles numbers 4 or squares, also numbering 4, depending on his mood.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:33:22

OK, if Chaos has buggered off, can anyone else explain this pole to ploe/equator thing?

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:34:14

That analogy would suggest that Chaos is making spherical, globe-shaped sandwiches.

everlong Fri 26-Apr-13 19:34:55

Pole to ploe = chaos on her bloody phone wink

wankerchief Fri 26-Apr-13 19:35:40

Fold toast rather than cut it

Sandwiches should be triangles

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:35:48

Yes, but even accounting for the typos everlong, what does she mean?

everlong Fri 26-Apr-13 19:35:53

Yes agree mardy.

I can believe that of chaos somehow smile

You can't go siccing on a food therad, Mards, that;s unbecoming. shock

Obvis I prefer triangles - less crust - but if you have to give me a rectangular sarnie it has to be bisected through the equator, or I wll hmm your arse.

And, no, I am not expalining, MardyBra, I am too humphy.

And, you, you were PROPERISED then.

everlong Fri 26-Apr-13 19:37:24

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Fri 26-Apr-13 19:37:41

I think Chaos has her uncut sandwich, first cuts north to south and then cuts east to west.
Or something like that?

FBmum Fri 26-Apr-13 19:38:11

Is Chaos drunk?

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:38:24


What everlong said.

Dawndonna Fri 26-Apr-13 19:38:39

Poor Mardy, Chaos won't expaline her! grin

mackerella Fri 26-Apr-13 19:39:33

I assume the top of the loaf is the North Pole and the bottom is the South Pole. doinmummy cuts pole to pole and hazeyjane cuts along the equator.

everlong Fri 26-Apr-13 19:39:35

Diagonally is the correct way.

Tastes much nicer cut this way.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:39:41

Chaos. In your OP, you said around the equator, which suggests you go around the middle of the sandwich in a circular motion.

Mrsrobertduvall Fri 26-Apr-13 19:40:07

Rectangles are common. (according to my mother)
It has to be triangles grin

hazeyjane Fri 26-Apr-13 19:40:13

I am a bit of an idiot tonight, I sort of forgot that there is a crust all the way round blush.

However I meant the top crust, never cut through the top crust.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:40:35

I am devastated Dawndonna

SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 19:40:57

FGS how hard can it be? Pole to pole obviously means North to South (i.e. top to bottom), round the equator means across the middle (so you get one top sandwich and one bottom sandwich. Crikey, even Norman knows that, and he is a useless plastic tweedle!

Btw, I think equator-wise for sandwiches, and I never cut the crusts off, you lose a lot of the sandwich! shock

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:41:20

Btw Chaos 173 plays 93. Just saying. wink

Dawndonna Fri 26-Apr-13 19:41:24

I can imagine, Mardy what with it being a Friday, too!

hazeyjane Fri 26-Apr-13 19:41:30

Yes, I would think my way (or The Right Way, as it should be called) would be round the equator.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:42:27

But if the equator is the middle, it doesn't matter which way you cut - it could be vertical or horizontal and it would still cut the sandwich in half.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:43:06

I think I'm finally getting it following SoMuch's explanation.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 26-Apr-13 19:44:02

But the top crust is rounded, Mardy. So it is different.

SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 19:44:35

Yay! grin

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:45:11

Well it depends what bread you're using Doctrine. Sometimes it's square - like the plastic bread DS loves. And the South Pole is never rounded.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:45:52

Fuck knows why I'm arguing about this when it's Friday night and I haven't cracked into the gin yet.

SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 19:46:18

We get square bread (from a proper bakers though, but I always buy a square loaf (or tin I think it's supposed to be called... confused)

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:46:39

Now I understand the OP, YANBU.

But your explanation is crap.

But pole to pole is the only way to get a bit of the nice crusty bit for each sandwich. Otherwise there is a nice top crust one and a yucky dry bottom one.


Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:47:57

Oh I get it.

North pole would be the top crust.

South pole the bottom crust.

So don't cut down, cut across!

everlong Fri 26-Apr-13 19:48:24

Thank Christ for somuch

But somehow I could imagine dear chaos making a round sandwich.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:48:50

Glad I'm not the only one Tee

I've never seen anyone do pole to pole. It would never occur to me.

hazeyjane Fri 26-Apr-13 19:49:13

This is a pretty standard slice of white bread.

The Right Way would be to cut across the middle, horizontally.

MardyBra Fri 26-Apr-13 19:49:40

Right. I must go now and have some gin and clear up frantically before DH comes home with the takeaway.

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Fri 26-Apr-13 19:49:49

So if it is square bread, Chaos, would you still be able to tell if it was cut along the equator? Don't be humphy.
<jumps on Chaos for big non-humphy hug>
<waves to Tee>

Raspberrysorbet Fri 26-Apr-13 19:50:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenEggsAndNichts Fri 26-Apr-13 19:50:44

yes but that's a point above- if you're using Proper Bread, you might want a bit of the top crust on each piece of sandwich, so pole to pole would be the way forward.

If using Warburtons, then corner to corner is the only way.

YoniBottsBumgina Fri 26-Apr-13 19:51:59

I still cut my sandwiches into quarters - was totally baffled by the op until I realised most adults only cut them in half blush

SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 19:53:49

The bottom half isn't dry though, not if you use Naice Bread... wink

I prefer diagonal, but for some reason never cut my sandwiches that way confused

I normally cut through the two straight sides, leaving the curvy one uncut. I eat the straight crusts first, then the curvy, then finally the bread/fillings.

SmeeHee Fri 26-Apr-13 19:58:41

Triangles are nicest, but for some reason I don't cut sandwiches that way myself often.

When I make sandwiches for the DSs I cut pole to pole as they only have half a sandwich each so that's the only way to split the sandwich fairly. I then cut each half in half again so that no one will ever know I've cut the sandwich like that it makes no real sense cutting pole to pole in the first place.

I cut sandwiches for DH and I around the equator and I always eat the southern hemisphere bottom half first as the top half is nicest.

I may have some issues... grin

Jojobump1986 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:59:26

Triangles are best but rectangles can make a nice change & are really the only way to go for a crisp sandwich or they all fall out. When making rectangles though it really must be pole-to-pole otherwise the sandwiches aren't symmetrical & that's just wrong.

SmeeHee Fri 26-Apr-13 20:00:18

X posts with BreakOut who may also have issues wink

Jojobump1986 Fri 26-Apr-13 20:04:13

Oh, & triangles must be top-left corner to bottom-right, or Alaska to Australia if you're looking at a map.

hazeyjane Fri 26-Apr-13 20:04:23

I eat mine in exactly the same way as Breakout.

grin at you all getting angsty over sarnies.

<<accepts nonhumphy hugs>>

SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 20:29:43

Norm says Hi! grin

SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 20:30:13

And he prefers his sandwiches fried with bacon and eggs...

Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 20:30:25

Triangles are definitely the only way to eat peanut butter and jelly. Because you don't eat the crusts when you eat peanut butter and jelly.*


Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 20:31:01

::waves to Empress::

You never wave to me, TeeThing.


Hi, Norm. smile I have devasting news - ChaoticBoy is 7 next week, and there are no requestd for Playmobil. <<weeps>>

Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 20:37:06

::waves to Chaos::

::sits on Chaos::

::Misses Pinot::

Where is she?


EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Fri 26-Apr-13 20:38:58

I waved to her first, Chaos.
Should triangle sandwiches be cut right to left or left to right? Upwards or downwards?

Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 20:40:09

I don't know, Chaos. sad

jacks365 Fri 26-Apr-13 20:40:16

Depends on filling can you really cut a bacon sandwich diagonally it has to be across.

Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 20:41:09

I even cut bacon sandwiches in triangles.


ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Fri 26-Apr-13 20:43:17

Chaos is completely right. Triangle cut is for toast only.

Also, I'd like to add a caveat to 'how to prepare a sandwich' and 'how to make toast'.

1) Sandwiches- the two sides of the slices that touch (have filling on them), should be natural neighbours i.e. they are the bits that were originally touching before the slicing.

2) Toast- the side with the largest non-crust area is the slice to be buttered, always.

No no no. You are all quite wrong.

You need to buy Warburtons Milk Roll

Then you too can have a perfectly circular sandwich.

<helpful> grin

Chaos, has your ds seen the new Secret Agent playmobil? Or the Space Police stuff?

I admit I may be buying playmobil for myself

Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 21:03:29

Would 4 be a good age to start with Playmobil?

StickyProblem Fri 26-Apr-13 21:08:13

We call rectangular sandwiches "Brookside style", because the Dixons were always having them. Triangles are much posher!
Completely agree with "natural neighbours" ItsOkay !

trixymalixy Fri 26-Apr-13 21:10:09

Triangles are only for party sandwiches. I agree with the OP on everything else sandwich related.

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Fri 26-Apr-13 21:17:56

Around the equator though, Chaos? Are you cutting a circle around the middle or cutting the upper surface then turning the sandwich over to finish off?

MagicHouse Fri 26-Apr-13 21:25:32

Good grief YABVVVVU, I never even realised people were cutting across the equator of a sandwich, making two assymetrical halves shock am hiding this thread now

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Fri 26-Apr-13 21:27:29

Chaos, can you please request this thread is moved to recipes?

I always cut in four. I like em in squares, especially for sardine and tomato paste with cheese and onion crisps in them!

DearPrudence Fri 26-Apr-13 21:29:29

Triangles are nicer. But no good for bacon sandwiches or packed lunches.

Equator-cut means you create a sandwich hierarchy, so pole to ploe would be better. But still wrong.

Best of all is triangles, no crust, arranged points up.

BigGalah Fri 26-Apr-13 21:38:54

I bought this and this to make my childrens' butties lovely for their packed lunches.

Little sods went and grew up all of a sudden and would be mortified if I tried anything like that nowadays.


LadyBeagleEyes Fri 26-Apr-13 21:43:02

I trim my bacon with scissors to make it fit nicely into my triangular sandwiches,

Hattie23 Fri 26-Apr-13 21:52:29

Well if I can't go out on the town of a Friday night at least I can drink wine and learn that its Alaska to Australia wine

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Fri 26-Apr-13 21:52:42

You're all missing it. Chaos is cutting AROUND the equator. Not across it. It's a different thing altogether... I'm just not quite sure what.

Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 21:57:07

That's different LBE.

grin Empress.

hazeyjane Fri 26-Apr-13 21:57:24

Am I the only person who has no truck with triangles (for either toast or sandwiches)?

Fillyjonk75 Fri 26-Apr-13 22:01:59

Cross ways (rectangle and squares) = normal

Diagonal (triangles) = posh

Bacon butties on white bread have to be cut as rectangular slabs. Mostly anything else I do in triangles. And stand them up on the plate like in a cafe so they look pretty.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 26-Apr-13 22:13:41

Across the equator.

Unless it is a Marmite sandwich. They HAVE to be single slices, folded in the middle. Nothing else is correct for Marmite sarnies.

I wouldn't usually cut into triangles, because the 'roundy bit' of crust at the top makes them not equal. And that is wrong.

However, a perfectly square sandwich MUST be carefully cut into equal triangles. Because it's the only time triangle sandwiches look correct. Therefore it has to be done.

I am very fussy with my sandwiches...

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 26-Apr-13 22:14:08

And Pole to Pole is seven thousand shades of WRONG.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 26-Apr-13 22:18:56

And I eat mine like breakaway mentioned upthread - crusts first, then the nice 'sandwich' part.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 26-Apr-13 22:26:01

HOW is there less crust?!?
There is the same amount of crust on the original piece of bread?!?!

Iaintdunnuffink Fri 26-Apr-13 22:30:14

My Mum always cut out bread into rectangles, I carried on once old enough to make my own packed lunch and toast but I always envied the other children with their fancy, cool triangles. When older still I would buy sandwiches and admire those angles.

Then one day, in my late 20's grin, it occurred to me that I could cut them as I wished. Since then it's been triangles for me but there are some sandwiches where rectangle are best, it depends on the bread shape and filling. Sausages in fresh bread do not work in triangles! A very few, very special sandwiches demand no cutting at all. That thick, crunchy crust should not be defiled.

Iaintdunnuffink Fri 26-Apr-13 22:34:19

CouthySaysEat you are so tight about marmite and folding.

Tee2072 Fri 26-Apr-13 22:36:07

Uh oh we've attracted HQ's attention.

Look innocent!

:: waves::

Hi Olivia! Nice hols?

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 26-Apr-13 22:46:34

Oh yes Fillyjonk, I love to put them on their side to make them look pretty.
And you can to it with bacon sandwiches too.
Oh, and cut of the crusts, if I can't be bothered they only go to the dog anyway.

Who is OliviaM?

<<narrows eyes>>

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 26-Apr-13 23:01:52


Who is OliviaM?

<<narrows eyes>>

It's Me. M is one defcon status up from L, innit?

SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 23:13:38

No Playmobil????? Norm looks like this --> sad

Oh, I'm now coveting the Secret Agent stuff, SoMuch, thanks to SconeIn. grin

Well, the crust thing OhEmEmEn (sigh) - imagine eating a rectangular sarniie? Yup? You diong that? Chances are if you're a crust leaver - you'll leave the corners. 4 of em.
Now imagine eating a triangular one. Only 2 corners to leave. Hah See? Less crust.

My Logical powers are indefatigable.



OOh, Couthy, yup - we do them as weell - imperative for super noodles or chips - called WrapAroundSandwiches chez Chao.

SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 23:27:18

Norm and I are PMSLing at your crust-leaving logic! grin

It;s true though huh?

Less crusts.


I'm now worried it's fewer.

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Fri 26-Apr-13 23:43:49

It is fewer but I'm still more concerned about the around business.

Do you flip them halfway through like pancakes?


SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 23:48:26

It's fewer (for something you can count, like crusts). It would be less for something non-countable (like sugar, milk, tea).

But you would say that loaf has less crust than that loaf.

Wouldn;t ya?


SoMuchToBits Fri 26-Apr-13 23:57:20

Less crust (singular and an amount), fewer crusts (plural and countable)...

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Fri 26-Apr-13 23:58:27

Yes but they still only have one crust each, so fewer wouldn't make sense - you can't count how much each one's got.

My omelettes aren't usually symmetrical enough to have equators.


2rebecca Sat 27-Apr-13 00:00:55

I do rectangles as I find bits are less likely to fall out, triangles are unstable if you have a salady type filling. It tastes the same whatever so i go for least mess and quickest to make.

Iknow da roolz you plastic tweedle.


I fecked up with this "It;s true though huh? Less crusts."

I'd been in the singular befroe then.

You plastic tweedle owner.


Don't you flip your omlettes Empress?

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Sat 27-Apr-13 00:05:30

Yes, and I fold them but the edges don't normally line up as they normally would on a sandwich. And they tend to be vaguely ovalish.

Do you flip your sarnies, Chaos?

Startail Sat 27-Apr-13 00:08:41

I don't care as long as you cut the toast in half, DH I'm looking at you.

seeker Sat 27-Apr-13 00:10:03

I cut ds's toast into triangles, turn them so the the points touch and say "here are your pretty butterflies" he takes the plate and says "No, star fighters!"

We have been doing this for 9 years now- he is 12. It amuses us every time. Dd is threatening to get a machine gun.

zipzap Sat 27-Apr-13 06:29:07

The question here is not square or triangle but dinosaur, dolphin or spaceship.

I bought cutter for ds1 when he was little in an attempt to get him to eat as he was rubbish at eating sarnies. They worked, but slowly dropped out of favour by the time he ws 4. Then dusted them off for ds2 who loved them because they made him smile and because he liked eating the crusts too with the funny hole in. Since then, ds1 now demands dinosaurs again but he is still fussy so won't touch the crusts.

And ds2 is often to be found in the drawer digging out cookie cutters of other shapes that he has decided he wants on the spur of the moment - which can be a pain as they don't tesselate properly within the size of the bread which the dedicated sandwich cutters do. You get all sorts of odd bits which although ds2 will usually eat, they are not as pleasing to do somehow!

However if ds2 has sarnies for his packed lunch he likes them square whereas ds1 refuses to eat sarnies and insists on a roll...

Tee2072 Sat 27-Apr-13 07:29:50

I am hurt that Olivia did not acknowledge my wave and inquiry. I shall go sulk forthwith.


Vizzage Sat 27-Apr-13 07:38:33

Actually, Fakebook is correct; it's triangles for sweet, rectangles (equator not pole-to-pole obviously) for savoury.

CasperGutman Sat 27-Apr-13 08:04:13

If you're going to cut sandwiches into rectangles, it doesn't matter if you do it top-to-bottom or across-the-middle. What matters is that you cut it in the direction it's narrowest. For example, this tall, narrow bread needs to be cut across the middle, and this short, wide bread needs to be cut from top to bottom. Otherwise you'll get silly long thin sandwiches.

It does blahdy matter Casper. SIOB.


Tee, don't sulk, chicken, I don't think it's actuallu the real one. Not as much pizazz. wink

Tee2072 Sat 27-Apr-13 12:30:00

SIOB we've been infiltrated?!?!?!?!

::runs and hides::

EmpressOfThe7OceansLovesMN Sat 27-Apr-13 12:54:01

Olivia's a fake??????
<sounds klaxon>

WTF just asked DP how he cuts his sandwiches in the morning (he gets up before me) his reply..

I don't cut them.
Him: hmm
Me: shock

He has a v.good job in a posh office and he's going in, stuffing half a loaf in his mouth. Rethinking the office xmas party now. Actually i may go with dainty trainagle sandwiches so they don't think i'm a sarnie barbarian.

tinkertitonk Sat 27-Apr-13 13:42:07

You are all wrong.

Cucumber: white bread, triangles, crusts off.

Jam: white bread, squares, crusts on.

Smoked salmon: brown bread, triangles, crusts on.

Anything else: only permissible at a very vulgar picnic.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 27-Apr-13 22:11:17


I am hurt that Olivia did not acknowledge my wave and inquiry. I shall go sulk forthwith.


blushWent to bed, innit. [mnhq in sleeping shocker]
FAB hols though thanks for asking.

Ok, I retract, it is her.

Pizazz an all.


Lottiegal Sat 04-May-13 20:14:29

Mrsrobbieduvall, my mum also claims rectangles were 'common'!!

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