To wonder how to get DW off Mumsnet?

(76 Posts)
TerryBakewell Wed 24-Apr-13 00:22:02

Just for a bit. I mean, once the kids are in bed that's it till I take her phone out of her sleeping hands. A five minute chat would do, you can all have her back then :-)

JonHammsTrouserSnake Wed 24-Apr-13 00:23:53

You just need to start a thread on here to get her attention.

Who is your DW?

Schooldidi Wed 24-Apr-13 00:26:37

I thought that was my dp for a minute there. But you aren't, cos I'm on my laptop rather than my phone grin.

Not a chance without a proper intervention

JonHammsTrouserSnake Wed 24-Apr-13 00:28:49

Actually, is that you DH?

Except I'm on an iPad.

KurriKurri Wed 24-Apr-13 00:29:09

Who is she? - why do you think you have more right to be entertained by her than we do????? what do you want to chat to her about - can't you text her or write her a note? You sound very demanding shock

<disclaimer - my marriage guidance technique is a work in progress> grin

MiniMonty Wed 24-Apr-13 02:16:58

Tsk Tsk.
Just another example of wives not knowing their place.
What can a modern man do ?

Have you considered whipping her phone out of her hands and initiating a game of Chasey? Never know, you could get some, too.

That's possibly the most helpful thing I've ever posted outside of 'living overseas' so be grateful grin

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Wed 24-Apr-13 04:00:57

shock LTB (leave the bitch)

One of the plus points of being single - nobody to monitor my constant Munsnetting wink

Fuzzysnout Wed 24-Apr-13 07:10:13

You can't. It's an addiction with no known treatment programme I'm afraid.

IllegalYoniFarm Wed 24-Apr-13 07:11:23


IllegalYoniFarm Wed 24-Apr-13 07:12:59

Except DH if that is you, last night you had trouble remembering the name of is site, referring to it as 'that my husband's a bastard site'

Also asking if there were an acronym MHAW (my husband's a wanker)


ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 24-Apr-13 07:15:27

I was convinced this would turn out to be my husband grin

A mumsnet widower.

They should start a club. grin

Gigondas Wed 24-Apr-13 07:22:29

My dh joined so can communicate that way. He loves a good Aibu thread.

edwardsmum11 Wed 24-Apr-13 07:31:34

You can't, we have her now.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 24-Apr-13 07:48:00

the problem is that technology has improved. if you have old stuff like me you get to chat for 5 minutes while the damn thing loads.

SinisterBuggyMonth Wed 24-Apr-13 07:53:22

Hello MrSinisterBuggyMonth!

McNewPants2013 Wed 24-Apr-13 08:29:38

Send her a PM

Mehrida Wed 24-Apr-13 08:32:35

YANBU to wonder.

YABU to expect any advice on doing so though.


WandaDoff Wed 24-Apr-13 08:38:14

Mumsnet is like the borg.

We have assimilated her. She's ours now.

MsVestibule Wed 24-Apr-13 08:42:10

I was so addicted that I asked DH to block MN between the hours of 10.30am and 7.30pm, in order that I can get some housework done and not neglect our DCs completely. Regarding the evenings, have you suggested a game of Scrabble/Trivial Pirsuit as an alternative to MNing?

Earthworms Wed 24-Apr-13 08:42:16

Arf at wanda

YANBU at all to wonder.

Some of these might help? [Whistles innocently]

Welcome to Hotel California grin

YoniBottsBumgina Wed 24-Apr-13 08:45:16

Joking aside smile It is easy to get stuck in a rut with your partner and you both getting lost to some electronic device in the evening. I bet while she's MNing you're watching tv or surfing or playing video games or reading or whatever your default recharge activity is.

Why don't you set a date night where neither of you use phones or computers etc and you have to do something together. Or try and book her in advance by suggesting dinner or a series you think she might like or run a bath with candles and wine etc.

Fragglewump Wed 24-Apr-13 08:46:28

Hello love! I'm sorry I've been neglecting you I am addicted to this site. I'm ashamed that its come to this to make me see sense. Please remove my phone from me!

VerySmallSqueak Wed 24-Apr-13 08:50:10

You sound selfish and entitled Terry.


TerryBakewell Wed 24-Apr-13 09:02:53

Not sure of DW's username. I think I know from a while back, but possibly just lurks now. Or changed it for secrecy reasons...

Suspect starting a game of Chase would end fairly quickly with a game of BuggerOff.

Is he really yours Fraggle ? grin

I did wonder if my DH had been this enterprising grin as he's tried other tactics before, such as a "don't go on MN" screen-saver hmm Fortunately we're back to a prettier one now that he's mostly over his tantrum

If it is an addiction I console myself that there are worse ones than chatting with friends (most of whom you've not yet met in RL) across the ether.

Actually seems like a reasonable past-time to me, especially in a recession which has hit women's employment much harder than men's sad Heard on news this morning that twice as many of the "new" private sector jobs being taken up are going to men than women. Public sector jobs being lost are having more impact on women's job losses than men's.

And I even got a job application in yesterday smile So, put that in your pipe and smoke it DH and friends.

Grammaticus Wed 24-Apr-13 09:10:07

Ha ha ha. My DH refers to mumsnet as "Angry Birds" grin

MagratOfStolat Wed 24-Apr-13 09:15:14

Are you my DP?!?!

That's a shame. Nobody likes a quick game of BuggerOff.

DP suggests twiddling with the wifi and 'losing' a cable. Blame a cat (or a DC, they're interchangeable around here)

Other suggestions are:
Asking Nicely
Bribing with Fancy Chocolate (one line for every five minutes you talk to me)
Taking her out for Fancy Tea
Driving over her phone. ACCIDENTALLY.

Hark at me, actually being useful. Ish.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 24-Apr-13 09:53:02

You came back.

You know this means we own you too now?

You'll start by checking this thread, then you'll have a quick peek at another thread.

Then another.

And then you and your wife will be side by side in total silence all evening with the mumsnet logo reflecting off your glasses.

Just think of it as a hobby you can share. grin

Hecsy - just wait 'til he's gone through the Classics threads I linked to - assimilated won't be the word for it. (Although we might end up seeing a post from Terry's wife about how to get him back) grin grin

DH is that you?

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 24-Apr-13 13:17:18

Maybe if you were more interesting, Terry, your DW might want to talk to you, instead of talking to a bunch of old internet harpies every night?


TheVDM Wed 24-Apr-13 15:11:19

Nothing works, my other half get's stuck on here lurking around for hours on end... Maybe one day she will read this and notice that I am using one of my regular user names!

Other than that sticking the cat down the back of the TV cabinet (where the router is) can work.

Very close to changing my name to MrsTerryBakewell. I'm halfway there as it is.

Smellslikecatspee Wed 24-Apr-13 15:41:09

One of Us

One of Us

One of Us

One of Us

One of Us

Sunnywithshowers Wed 24-Apr-13 15:48:33

grin Welcome to MN!

< passes bakewell tart to Terry whilst she mulls it over smile brew >

coorong Wed 24-Apr-13 17:29:52

sometime i have to facetime my husband to get his attention

when he's next to me in bed!

coorong Wed 24-Apr-13 17:30:42


TooExtraImmatureCheddar Wed 24-Apr-13 17:31:20

Ha, my DH is on here too, lurking in AIBU. It's educating him a lot!

My DH came on once. BitOfFun scared him off for good though grin

TheMNeffect Wed 24-Apr-13 17:46:39

Have you got DCs Terry?

You could get them to out on their saddest faces and say, 'please mum, we miss you sad '.


TheMNeffect Wed 24-Apr-13 17:47:03


YohedYoshoulderYonisandYotoes Wed 24-Apr-13 17:48:30

Easy, just get her to victim blame someone, a high and might poster will get her account blocked grin

YohedYoshoulderYonisandYotoes Wed 24-Apr-13 17:49:58

Either that or stick up for strippers/prostitutes..grin

<Eats bakewell tart>. Cheers love.

Wishiwasanheiress Wed 24-Apr-13 17:53:29

Oh blimey I'm urs aren't I....?

Sorry, I do realise I've been neglecting you a bit.

To be fair though, there are far worse vices I could have, most of which would involve me spending money, gaining weight or exposing myself to some nasty STIs.

Count your blessings...

PrimalChic Wed 24-Apr-13 18:00:07

Haha @Wanda!

MNBlackpoolandFylde Wed 24-Apr-13 18:07:01

What Wanda said.

Mumsnet is the Borg...

Resistance is futile..

tumbletumble Wed 24-Apr-13 18:13:16

grin at Angry Birds!

Badvoc Wed 24-Apr-13 18:13:41

We are Borg
Do not resist

MadBusLady Wed 24-Apr-13 18:15:32

YABU. Give in!

<pours wine>

gazzalw Wed 24-Apr-13 18:22:53

I have the same problem, mate!

quoteunquote Wed 24-Apr-13 18:44:14

If you bought your dear wife an ipad she would spend less time on MN, as MN is much harder to do on the phone, she would be far more efficient at her MNing, leaving more time for you to whip her away for a lovely mini break.

chateauferret Wed 24-Apr-13 20:19:00

YABU. Porkair, clear for takeoff now runway 27R, over.

NoWayPedro Wed 24-Apr-13 20:58:46

Back off Bakewell she's ours


GibberTheMonkey Wed 24-Apr-13 21:13:39

I'm wondering if ops dw has replied as one of the joke 'hello dear' replies without actually realising its her dh.

Welcome to Royston vipers op

No chance!
Nearly every night I consider starting a thread saying 'please will you all STOP Being so interesting so I can go to sleep' smile

jodmyster Wed 24-Apr-13 21:26:09

Even if you do manage to get 5 mins to chat to her, it'll just be some discussion about some interesting thread on mumsnet and then you'll just wish you hadn't bothered getting her off it!

OneToThree Wed 24-Apr-13 21:30:54

How many of you asked your DHs if they started that thread.

I did, I really thought he might have.

Idocrazythings Wed 24-Apr-13 21:32:49

I knew he wouldn't be mine as he'd pick a different username…

trikken Wed 24-Apr-13 21:34:46

I'd wonder if it were my dh, but he is at work at the moment. I think.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 24-Apr-13 21:39:01

Well its not my DP! Mine doesnt care if I speak to him or not! grin

TerryBakewell Wed 24-Apr-13 22:40:12

Funnily enough, I'm now upstairs reading this thread, while DW is downstairs folding the washing. Normally these roles are exactly reversed.

I think I'm beginning to see the benefits of MN now...

ArtexMonkey Wed 24-Apr-13 22:44:03

My dh is sometimes tempted to come on mn, but then I tell him about threads like the yoni dude or the top gear slashfic and he decides its safer to stay on reddit or /b/

Sunnywithshowers Wed 24-Apr-13 23:02:46

You have been assimilated Terry grin

MummaBubba123 Wed 24-Apr-13 23:10:14


wine? grin

quoteunquote Thu 25-Apr-13 00:21:32

So does she know you are on here?

thought it was my dh too, except

1. he's on mn more than me shock and
2. his nn is quite similar to mine angry

maybe i should start a thread when i want him off mn grin

AnAirOfHope Thu 25-Apr-13 00:50:49

Not my DH we dont fold clothes in this house blush

I did actually double check with DP if if was him, but seeing as I had to pry him off visforvoltage I figured it wasn't him.

Maybe I should wander on to his forums and beg for my DP to pay attention to me?

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