To not help my son look after his baby?

(232 Posts)

This is my first AIBU thread so go easy.

He has a baby and I refuse to help him out. He decided to have this baby so all responsibility is his in my eyes.

The baby is currently naked with only a hat on and he feeds her every 10 minutes but she drinks the whole bottle! All she does is cry and laugh.

He has asked me to look after her but I wont. He seems to think this isn't fair and shouts 'oh why?' The mother isn't on the scene either and the baby has only been with him a couple of months.

She is currently wrapped up in a car mat as he thinks this is an acceptable bed. Should I intervene now or leave baby where she is?

My son is young but he wanted the baby so I think he should look after her. He has named her Baby which I'm not sure goes down well on MN.

So AIBU or should I help out a little?

msrisotto Tue 23-Apr-13 10:35:18 is naked and wrapped in a car mat? I think he needs help.

Bunraku Tue 23-Apr-13 10:36:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beehatch Tue 23-Apr-13 10:37:15


You're a very young granny ...

ShadowStorm Tue 23-Apr-13 10:37:48

Is this for real?

If this is all true, then yes, help is needed.


He made his choices! Let him get on with it I say!

SirBoobAlot Tue 23-Apr-13 10:38:25

Swaddle her in the car mat, she'll be fine.

My DS is always so irresponsible with his DCs too. He left one of them in the garden last night because she asked to sleep in his play house. Shocking parenting.

TeamEdward Tue 23-Apr-13 10:38:49


Hes now saying the baby is doing his head in.

Should I gave him a break?

OnTheNingNangNong Tue 23-Apr-13 10:39:26


Parents keep getting younger nowadays wink

YoniMaroney Tue 23-Apr-13 10:39:41

Very amusing

TeamEdward Tue 23-Apr-13 10:40:05

My DS doesn't have a baby, thank the Lord. I saw him carrying around a friend's baby by it's feet yesterday.

Naughty sp grin

Oopla Tue 23-Apr-13 10:41:33


bonzo77 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:41:49

YANBU. Tbh I'd contact the HV.

Does the baby cry lots or is it rather quiet, like a doll?

SirBoobAlot Tue 23-Apr-13 10:42:06

Tell him he made his cot bed, he needs to lie in it!

Does your grandchild have a name, SP? Mine tend to be called ''Eyes'' hmm

McPheelingTheSpring Tue 23-Apr-13 10:43:08


The car mat is rather large by the way. Baby is swaddled and has plenty of room. Looks like a sausage roll.

He really wanted this baby and I think hes realising its not easy. There is a pram for her but he forgets to fasten it so she falls out often

GoblinGranny Tue 23-Apr-13 10:44:28


Having been given a spare baby by his feminist auntie, my DS left it on the train.
When challenged later, he declared himself to be too young to be a father.

Sir He named her Baby. Still hasn't been registered so if I take custody of her I can change it.

OnTheNingNangNong Tue 23-Apr-13 10:44:31

My youngest son drags his baby round by it's leg, sad

madamecake Tue 23-Apr-13 10:44:55

I'm crying with laughter! My dd's baby is only a newborn, but has already had weetabix pushed in her mouth and ears, and dd has taken to crying whenever her baby cries. But at least baby is still partially dressed.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 23-Apr-13 10:45:15

Baby is a good name for a baby imo. My daughter has called our baby "Mousse" after her fave dessert. Perhaps they could have a playdate? Share a car mat?

Bonzo If you press her stomach she will either laugh or cry. We have no idea what mood she is in til we so that

BlastAndDalmatians Tue 23-Apr-13 10:45:56

I just did a horrible wheezy Muttley laugh at SirBoob's grandchild called Eyes. I'm trying not to wake the baby!

Op I think you are right, he needs to learn! ;)

IcingTheCake Tue 23-Apr-13 10:48:45

A baby that drinks a whole bottle every hour? hmm I get you want him to learn but not at the expense of the baby.

VinegarDrinker Tue 23-Apr-13 10:48:48

Young people these days are all about the now, never thinking through the consequences of their actions. He needs to learn that babies are not just for Christmas.

Icing its every 10 minute and takes about 5 seconds for the bottle to empty! She isn't putting weight on though

IcingTheCake Tue 23-Apr-13 10:50:30

Sorry every ten minutes*

MrsHoarder Tue 23-Apr-13 10:50:59

Is she producing plenty of wet nappies though sp?

MarcelineTheVampireQueen Tue 23-Apr-13 10:52:13

This is an unfunny troll attempt can do better than that!!, or at least have name changed..

ApplePippa Tue 23-Apr-13 10:53:04

OP, I think you should help him out a bit, and set up a baby clinic in your kitchen. Baby is already undressed, so should be easy enough to pop onto the kitchen scales.

LimitedEditionLady Tue 23-Apr-13 10:53:07

Are you taking the piss?you either are or you are the dumbest person ever.its like something off raising hope but worse.i dont care if people think im being harsh inbthis occasion cos you are daft.

She doesn't have any nappies. She drinks all that and nothing comes out. Hes not too worried though and his baby his rules I guess.

I'm not even sure of her age tbh. When I ask he gives me a different number each time

VinegarDrinker Tue 23-Apr-13 10:53:56

I can't believe you allow your son to have bottles in the house. I hold you personally responsible for the low BFing rates in this country sad

are they those ones where the milk disappears when you tip them up? I think they are ridiculously cool

RiffyWammal Tue 23-Apr-13 10:54:11

My DS is just as bad. He wanted me to take his baby out yesterday but I refused because he hasn't got a pram. He put it in our wheelbarrow and stormed off in a huff, I watched him go up the road and he tipped it over a few times.

I am not sure if my DS's baby is a boy or a girl - I might ask him if I remember. I think he calls it 'Bottle'.

AmberLeaf Tue 23-Apr-13 10:54:28

My son also had a baby very young, he was really good with her at first, but I had to step in and call SS when he drew on her face and left her in the garden all night.

Speak to the HV maybe?

Its not a troll attempt. If was I would have done something better. Its all true

gordyslovesheep Tue 23-Apr-13 10:54:50

Yanbu I refuse to help my daughter with any of her 14 babies or to help her make a 'cuppatea' or cakes in her kitchen. All her babies co sleep in her single bed and most are permanently nude

Vinegar yes in wilkinsons for a quid they empty super fast

IsThatTrue Tue 23-Apr-13 10:55:32

smile now SPs you'd have thought you had another few years before you we're a grandma.

Leave him to it, his baby his rules. Surely you can't over feed a doll newborn?

MadameOvary Tue 23-Apr-13 10:55:42

Wow OP, that's Tough Love if ever I saw it grin

cuteboots Tue 23-Apr-13 10:56:30

Is this for real?

Limited I am neither taking the piss or daft. This is all happening. As we speak Baby is in the rolled up car mat.

car mat is in fact one of the big rugs with roads on that kids drive little cars on

IcingTheCake Tue 23-Apr-13 10:57:52

This is ridiculous!

MarcelineTheVampireQueen Tue 23-Apr-13 10:58:33

You know what, apologies SP I just got it, sorry, I need a thick emoticon over here. I'm not with it at all today, I'm in bed sick with my stomach falling out of my arse and it appears I'm talkin out it as well, so sorry, carry on!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 23-Apr-13 10:59:18

Oh FFS! People....I'm talking to you CuteBoots and you Marceline...her son is a toddler and his baby is his DOLL.

MrsHoarder Tue 23-Apr-13 10:59:25

That's shocking you need to get him a better doll, I had a "real weeing" doll as a child to take her to a doctor.

Oopla Tue 23-Apr-13 10:59:40

Awesome thread.

There's all of life on here grin

Think the reactions of the believers might actually be funnier than the OP grin

GoblinGranny Tue 23-Apr-13 11:01:03

Do you think people read the thread, or just the first post?

LimitedEditionLady Tue 23-Apr-13 11:01:28

Ok i see the humour now never read a troll thread before.yeah....

EskSmith Tue 23-Apr-13 11:01:59

My dd1 changes her baby's name daily - she is going to be one confused baby. She is regularly left to sleep in her pram in the playhouse, woefully underdressed IMHO. On one memorable occasion she was left to sleep on the trampoline and covered in snow. She also encourages her baby to walk holding her up by her hair shock

I love the idea of becoming a HV for your son SP - you could make a red book and everything grin

VinegarDrinker Tue 23-Apr-13 11:02:17

Oh yes, you definitely need to look into the weeing surely that's one of the coolest things about having a doll, or is that just me?

Its not a troll thread. FFS.

MarcelineTheVampireQueen Tue 23-Apr-13 11:03:16

Yeah I got that, see other post, cheers

Lovelygoldboots Tue 23-Apr-13 11:03:29

Hi, my ds had a dolly that was sick sick sick. I had to ring for the doctor to come quick quick quick.

Groovee Tue 23-Apr-13 11:04:52

Teen parenting doll by any chance?

Tee2072 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:07:15

vinegar I bloody love those bottles too. Where does it go?

SP Perhaps a chat with Dr Raj is in order? grin

it isnt a troll thread. SP is a regular poster and she hasnt name changed. Its fairly obvious she is talking about her toddler.

Oh and my ds1 first baby was called chewing gum

Picture of baby should be on my profile. Its all true, she is wrapped in a car mat!

Feel sorry for the little thing tbh. Least it gets fed I suppose

I have changed from SPsFanjo or SPsYoni so I understand any confusion grin

I dont think even Dr Ranj could help this situation Tee

diddl Tue 23-Apr-13 11:10:15

That was my first thought, Groovee, but its a young child with a doll.

How long do they keep parenting dolls for?

OP-YANBU-you have to be cruel to the doll to be kind-it'll set him up in good stead for laterongrin

extracrunchy Tue 23-Apr-13 11:11:40

Of course he needs to learn how to look after her properly, but that is a little human being you are effectively using to discipline him. She deserves better from both of you - help him so that he can learn how to care for her properly.
Honestly I can't believe I've just read this.

LimitedEditionLady Tue 23-Apr-13 11:11:53

Well it wasnt obvious to me cos i havent read anything shes written before so excuse me!!!

FaceCake Tue 23-Apr-13 11:11:53

Over fed is better than under fed, Baby obviously is hungry or the bottle wouldn't empty. I always wanted a magic bottle

TheSecondComing Tue 23-Apr-13 11:11:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl Tue 23-Apr-13 11:12:11

Oh a car mat-I was thinking of those mats that go in cars iyswimblush

The actual mat is far superior!

extracrunchy Tue 23-Apr-13 11:13:30

Maybe this is a joke... Ok it's a joke... But effing hell.

VinegarDrinker Tue 23-Apr-13 11:13:31

I neeeed to go to Wilkos now, was never allowed one of those bottles as a kid

this is the bottle he is using I keep tipping it to try see how it works.

SecondComing He sighs and says 'shhh baby, hurting me head out' which i think is his way of saying shes doing his head in.

Lucyellensmum95 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:14:42

Take the Batteries out!

extracrunchy Tue 23-Apr-13 11:15:16

Haha I feel like a twat.

Manchesterhistorygirl Tue 23-Apr-13 11:15:18

My ds2 carries his baby, called baby, around by the neck. He wraps one arm around baby and the other around his favourite toys neck and off they go. Baby is often found abandoned and under his duvet. Shocking I know!

Those who think this is a real thread! Hilarious! grin

limitedEdition you may not have read any of SPs posts before but you couldn't actually think it was real?

SirBoobAlot Tue 23-Apr-13 11:15:56

Some of these replies are bloody hilarious.

This morning DS informed me that his baby has "tongue time" and I need to phone the "lady who likes tongues" soon.

Can you tell he's been helping me at the peer support group? Might have to pass on to the specialist that she is known as the ''lady who likes tongues''.

Extra I know I should do better but he wanted the baby. grin Trail and error

AmberLeaf Tue 23-Apr-13 11:16:09

Are people reading the whole thread?

Amazed anyone could take this as anything other than a joke if they are.

SolomanDaisy Tue 23-Apr-13 11:17:05

My DS insists on bathing with his baby, but he just lets his head slip under water all the time. He's currently stuffed behind a sofa cushion.

LottieLaBouff Tue 23-Apr-13 11:17:32

Just leave him to it, he got himself in that situation. My DD is quite a young mum at 13 months. She shoves her baby on the potty all the time though he's not ready yet cause he pees everywhere. He's a bit constipated too, he's always got a straining look on his face. I think it's because she's always shoving bread in his mouth. He's called juice, but its pronounced 'jooooose' It's foreign apparently. She's currently dragging him around by the arm and poking him in the eyes. Ah well, he's her baby, she'll learn soon.

SirBoobAlot Tue 23-Apr-13 11:18:20

And SP I love that your DS is still using the car mat whilst she is swaddled in it grin

He did kidnap it from my mums house from his Aunt. He had my mums help in the kidnapping too.

Baby is now face down on the floor laughing. Hes stood near her with his hands on his hips sighing

xigris Tue 23-Apr-13 11:18:51

This is a tricky situation Yoni. I think you need to tread very carefully as this is, as you say, his baby. I wonder if it would be worth getting a copy of a certain baby book for him? grin

Lucyellensmum95 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:18:51

and for gods sake don't get him a guinea pig!

SolomanDaisy Tue 23-Apr-13 11:19:04

Has anyone seen the youtube advert for the Spanish doll that poos? You mix it up some sort of feed and it poos it out. DS keeps showing me the advert. Yum.

Tee2072 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:19:46

I am greatly enjoying those who think this is a real baby.

Okay, if Dr Raj can't help, might be time to call the Octonauts. They know everything!*

*According to my nearly 4 year old.

Lucyellensmum95 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:20:00

I believed it until she said about the car mat, then i was like, WTAF!!! will anyone not think of the children!!

ryanboy Tue 23-Apr-13 11:20:24

My DS hung his baby up on the washing line naked and he and his friends took turns at hitting her with a stick.She never complained though-just kept smiling!!

Xigris It might come in handy grin

Its what happens when you kidnap a baby. I know its drip feeding but that's the main reason I refuse to help. I dont agree in kidnap and my mum knew what she was doing when she helped him

Lucyellensmum95 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:21:06

You need to be recording this - to humiliate him when he brings his first GF home to put her off making a real one

spiderlight Tue 23-Apr-13 11:21:15

The car mat swaddling thing is worrying me. Does the baby look like a Gregg's sausage roll or a naice sausage roll? Because if it's the former, then I think it's definitely a case for SS.

McKayz Tue 23-Apr-13 11:22:51

Will no one think of the baby? grin

Can't believe people thought it was real.

DD's baby is dressed in pink and called 'David'. He gets trodden on regularly, picked up by his head, and squashed to make him cry.

MansView Tue 23-Apr-13 11:23:01

a car mat..? are you for real...?

at least get a cardboard box to make it a bit more comfy - maybe a few t-towels too

Spider Its not very neat. Its on my profile. If you feel SS is necessary let me know.

Hes trying to get her to eat a chocolate biscuit. I dont know her age so not sure if she needs weaning yet.

SirBoobAlot Tue 23-Apr-13 11:25:06

Tee, the fucking Octonauts can fix everything in this house too, apparently.

My 5 month old is currently chewing on a monkeys tail while shouting very loudly at it.

Animal cruelty, child neglect! The youth of today are nothing more than hoodlums!

Wanna and you are allowing that?! RSPCA need phoning you neglectful monkey hater

Tee2072 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:27:15

SirBoob my son is constantly sounding the OctoAlert and doing the roll call. It's really really annoying!

happyyonisleepyyoni Tue 23-Apr-13 11:27:26

Well my DS breastfed his baby, so ner.

Blatherskite Tue 23-Apr-13 11:28:16

I am a bad --dolly- Grandma too. I got bored of waiting for DD's baby to dry so I stuck her in the tumble dryer.

Poor little baby Annabelle's face went all soft and distorted! No bruising but the whole side of her face caved in. It was gruesome!

I have been left feeding the baby while he plays candy crush on my old phone! Telling me I'm not feeding her right and he will show me!

Fuck that, I'm not helping anymore with his PFB

RunRabbit Tue 23-Apr-13 11:30:51

I just got the OP

Brava SP Brava wink

SirBoobAlot Tue 23-Apr-13 11:31:15

Tee, I always have to be Tunip. There is some rejection going on when a stuffed dinosaur is allowed to be Kwazii instead of you.

cuteboots Tue 23-Apr-13 11:32:03

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie-Phew thanks for clarifying that. I only read the first bit and thought id entered some strange Jeremy Kyle world where kids have kids and then treat them like crap. Note to self read a bit more of the thread before replying ; 0 )

My dd has too many babies, they all share beds and are currently in various states of undress. Her PFB is hanging from the washing line by her pigtails after an unfortunate run in with half a tube of toothpaste. The boy has been relegated to under the bed after it pee'd all over my dress on christmas day.

She also has a pet furby that has been locked in the shoe cupboard because it has turned evil grin

My son hid his baby in the laundry for days....

Furby?! I will never get my son one of those. When I had one it used to turn on by its self on a night. Creepy little fuckers.

drwitch Tue 23-Apr-13 11:34:42

my dd has many many children, she has now rejected the ones that are not "very beautiful" and spent much of this weekend throwing the rest out of our bedroom window for her big brother to catch

Lucyellensmum95 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:35:02

Um, could you ask him to help me with candy crush please, im useless at it - i'll even babysit - i havea spare shoe box

Lucy He isn't the best either but he will help in return for babysitting duties. It is his PFB though so expect to be told what to do.

cute He isn't the greatest father and I dont think Jezza could fix his issues. Anyway hes too young to go on stage grin

dawntigga Tue 23-Apr-13 11:40:54

The Cub has a baby who he has called Giggly Brown Baby, he's not very good with names. I decided that he wanted her and he should look after her. I worry when they bathe together as he has a very short attention span sometimes.


tabulahrasa Tue 23-Apr-13 11:41:17

Just from the OP I wasn't sure if it was a young child with a doll or an older one with one of those fake babies they have to look after - but it was pretty obvious it wasn't in fact a real baby.

spiderlight Tue 23-Apr-13 11:42:30

Hmm....OK, I will refrain from contacting SS, but only if I can have one of those cakes.

Lollyheart Tue 23-Apr-13 11:43:04

Bloody hell op. at least the baby is being fed. My dd has left her baby strapped into its buggy and buggered off to school.
Poor thing will be starving when she gets home grin

JakeBullet Tue 23-Apr-13 11:44:42


Took me a few moments lol'

currentbuns Tue 23-Apr-13 11:45:42

DD left one of her babies in garden on Saturday afternoon. One of its little feet can be seen just poking out from underneath a small shrub.

Tee2072 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:46:15

SirBoob I get called Captain Mummy, so I guess that's better than being a tunip. Or turnip. Or whatever the hell they are!

sherazade Tue 23-Apr-13 11:49:12

I think baby and father will be fine for now; only intervene when he starts to lift up his top and latch baby onto his chest for a feed.

IcingTheCake Tue 23-Apr-13 11:50:26

Ahh pregnancy brain sad i got it now haha xx

Yes, I shall be phoning RSPCA. And the local zoo.

DD1 stripped all her babies when she was younger and lost all the clothes. But they have blankets now so its not too bad!

I'm just too young at 22 to be a nanna. I think that's the real reason I wont help. He doesn't help with rent or food either then expects free childcare!

My grandchild is safely tucked up in her pram. She hasn't been fed for over a week and only gurgles when you pick her up due to an unfortunate battery acid incident, but she is fully dressed at least.

I cant get to my granddaughters batteries. Shes on of those Sainsburys little nursery ones where the body is soft and cant break into it with out cutting her open

Thanks SP my project for this weekend is to teach the Furby to say I'm a creepy little fucker grin Then I can post it back to my mum since she bought the thing in the first evil grin

* first place

Surgery is the only option SP, that or shutting the baby in a drawer like in the olden days.

grin Whatsthatnoise, genius.

grin What is it with nannas/grandmas and giving annoying presents?! Is it pay back? grin

AngelinaJoliesBeard Tue 23-Apr-13 12:14:05

I've found the people posting thinking it was a real baby even funnier that the OP! grin Loving all these terrible parents I'm reading about!

megsmouse Tue 23-Apr-13 12:14:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yoni - I think you should leave him to parent his own way. Hiz bubba, hiz rulez, hon. grin

SDT That's what I was thinking. So what if shes called baby, has only a hat and drink a bottle of milk in 5 seconds. Shes not my responsibility!

Shes asleep now so hes enjoying the peace. Might nudge her awake

nellyjelly Tue 23-Apr-13 12:19:44

My son thinks it is ok for his baby to share a pram with a dog. Is this ok?

His baby so his rules nelly

Dont be trying to intervene or take over.

To be fair, Baby is no worse a name than Thirteen - a name actually being used by the cousin of a Mumsnetter for her daughter.

nellyjelly Tue 23-Apr-13 12:26:13

Yes you are right. The dog is not too happy mind.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 23-Apr-13 12:27:40

I put Baby in the washing machine the other day.

I forgot to shut the kitchen door. DS stood in front of the washing machine yelling "BABY!!!!!" in a horrendously traumatised voice whilst frantically yanking at the door. blush

Bad mother award over here please.

Randall You washed your grandchild and made him watch??

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 23-Apr-13 12:38:26

Yeah sad

I'm going straight to hell aren't I.

But at least the baby is clean, Randall.

Lollyheart Tue 23-Apr-13 12:42:44

It's threads like these that we need a like button grin

Offler Tue 23-Apr-13 12:42:54

Baby Jesus has been abandoned on the sofa by DD, she is at school. Jesus has a wolf on top of him. I'm wondering if he's fed up of being the messiah and is now channelling Romulus or Remus...

Tee2072 Tue 23-Apr-13 12:43:01

My son does not have a child but he does have Lamby who is, no surprise, a lamb.

When Grandma was here for Easter she insisted on washing Lamby. We all agreed tumble drying a lamb would be a bad idea. So Lamby was set on a radiator and A Small Boy spent the afternoon playing in the hallway in front if the radiator and occasionally squeezing Lamby to check for dryness. It was a long afternoon...

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 23-Apr-13 12:43:17

Well exactly!

He'd been feeding the poor thing beef stew and dumplings and she looks no where near weaning age IMVHO.

SS need calling on you Randall grin

Baby hasn't had a bottle in at least half an hour. Hes too busy watching Spongebob. Is this benign neglect?

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 23-Apr-13 12:44:13

That's way too cute Tee!

5madthings Tue 23-Apr-13 12:48:16

tee my dd also has a lamby, its a steiff one and her most treasured posession and she wont sleep without it, it needs a wash but she is traumatised by the suggestion, i spent £40!!! On a spare after trawling the internet to find an identical one dam grandma buying a limited edition steif and she refuses to have anythinh to do with 'imposter' lamby.

Her baby is currently on the hob of the toy cooker... Do i need to call a psychologist?

Ds1 used to have a lamb too. He used to play a game with the lamb called 'Bingy' - which involved hurling the lamb upwards and backwards over his head, yelling "Bingy!!". Unfortunately he managed to hurl the lamb over the wall at the cottage we were staying in, and it landed in deep undergrowth on the other side, and despite our best efforts, was never found again. Ds1 was inconsolable. I don't think it stopped him playing Bingy, though...

readyforno2 Tue 23-Apr-13 13:00:41


Love this thread. Especially the posters accusing you of trolling.

I had a doll once. I put it in my blow up back pack (stylish) and hid it under the bed as it did my head in.

Baby is on the naughty step! No idea why but I can hear him telling her to say sorry and she can play. He then came and asked me for dinner but baby cant have any.

Ready I know! If I was going to troll Id have changed my name and thought of something better. I'm a little hurt they think I couldn't do any better grin

Tee2072 Tue 23-Apr-13 13:05:26

Must try harder, SP!

You've let me down, you've let yourself down but, most importantly of all, you've let the Trolls down...

Oopla Tue 23-Apr-13 13:19:34

*Sirboob*absolutely HOWLING at having to be tunip grin

Not one person even asked how old my son was Tee Isn't it protocols to ask ages? grin

Nothing was a lie and I was accused of been a troll. It hurt deep

quoteunquote Tue 23-Apr-13 13:24:26

I fear for my grandchildren,

I once caught one of my DC taking a velcro nappy off baby, and saying ,'naughty baby, you pooie bott bott', and then making the dog lick the baby.

I did think it a slightly genius solution.

gordyslovesheep Tue 23-Apr-13 13:26:05

Dd 3 keeps her 14 babies in a box most of the time ...none have had their jabs although they do get od'd on calpol daily ...she has been known to leave them unattended in a bath overnight

Ledkr Tue 23-Apr-13 13:30:40

Dds babies all have pierced ears (dressmaking pins) and wear make up from birth. T
She brushes their hair until they are nearly bald and then forgets about them for weeks.

Ledkr She sounds like a brilliant mother. Least she doesn't over feed them grin

nannyof3 Tue 23-Apr-13 13:34:39

The baby needs u!!!

Quoteunquote - that sounds like a very environmentally friendly option - your dc is a genius! Patent the idea now, while they are still too young to realise.

PickledInAPearTree Tue 23-Apr-13 13:36:08

Maybe I should get ds a doll. He might stop sitting on my actual baby then!

Nanny Its fine as it is. Car mat looks quite comfy

Haha at the folk who didn't realise! DDs baby doesn't even have a name, is naked and burps and farts way more than normal. Maybe it's all the cereal but no milk?

FeckOffCup Tue 23-Apr-13 13:38:57

My granddaughter is called Pear and gets a dummy shoved in her gob whenever she's not drinking a bottle. She also regularly gets taken in the car without being strapped into a carseat and often falls on the floor going round corners.

Feck Is she carried by her arm?

These young parents all seem to parent the same. Maybe its how it should really be done

PickledInAPearTree Tue 23-Apr-13 13:42:43

You should teach him to breastfeed. I keep finding ds trying to express with my breast pump and looking confused.

quoteunquote Tue 23-Apr-13 13:46:55

GDTG brilliant, grin

they also had green pen rubbed all over as sunblock, even when I pointed out that it wouldn't come off, they applied it to the others, unlike my stupid parenting, they only had to do it once, where as I do it all the time,

Their babies use to be left floating face down in the bath every night, and all day in the paddling pool naked, this was called swimming, SS didn't seemed concerned, my next door neighbour is a head teacher, she could clearly see the pool from her house, she never mentioned it to anyone.

Baby is laid on sofa with a heavy book on her head. Hes so gentle with her

FeckOffCup Tue 23-Apr-13 13:53:30

Pear is generally carried by a leg or the back of the babygro.

SirBoobAlot Tue 23-Apr-13 14:09:10

Randall that made me grin Hope you've got the money for the therapy he will need wink

Tortington Tue 23-Apr-13 14:13:41

it took me a good 5 mins of reading before I figured out that this is a toy.

I was quite distressed until then tbh. so fail to now see any humour

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 23-Apr-13 14:14:50

I fear it's something I'm going to have to seriously consider.

I'm a constant disappointment to him but he looked more confused and hurt by this than he did when I smacked him in the face with the Hoover.

Limelight Tue 23-Apr-13 14:23:34

I have MUCH sympathy OP. My DD is shameful.

Her warped sense of good exercise for her babies is to pile them on top of each other in the pushchair (not fastened in mind, and no sign of any developmental buggy toys). She pushes the pushchair at top speed the length of the house until it hits the backdoor step and the poor loves fly out into the garden.

I do wonder what the neighbours think when they have naked babies flying past their windows.

lime No developmental toys either. She falls out of the pram and he blames her though he forgot to fasten it. Sometimes I want to step in but decide not to as shes his responsibility

mummylin Tue 23-Apr-13 14:41:01

This is a great thread and so funny ! grin

Oh sp love this thread reminds me when my dd2 had a lima called locky poor thing was swung round dd's head to get burped (according to dd this was the best way to burp them) had to sew lockys tail on a few times 13 yrs on locky has still got green scares on her fur from when she had chickenpops

aldiwhore Tue 23-Apr-13 14:46:35

My friend's dd left her baby with me, I didn't realise until my son proudly showed me how he'd fed her, with bloody PVA glue, now she won't feed properly, should I put her in the diswasher or washing machine?

OP I think you need to let your son get on with it, he'll learn that way, and repeat, everytime he requests help "Not my circus, not my monkey"

Aldi Your son did it so he should bath her. Do not take responsibility! grin

He will stop asking for help eventually. Shes such a scruffy looking thing but he wont allow her to be washed and I wont force it. Bed back playing with car mat but no idea where Baby is.

Her bottles up here but she isn't! I've asked and je just shrugged his shoulders.

JollyPurpleGiant Tue 23-Apr-13 16:04:24

I can't wait until my son has a baby. This granny-ing lark sounds like fun to me.

DD has two babies and very cleverly asked for a Mary Poppins toy for her last birthday. Now she can swan about and do as she pleases, as the live-in nanny minds her offspring. grin

DilysPrice Tue 23-Apr-13 16:28:33

I'm clearly not on form today. I spent the first page with a confused face thinking "It's obviously a toddler parent, but it's not Rosie's Babies. It must be some new CBeebies thing I haven't seen, or a book that came out recently - can I be arsed to ask for clarification?"

Took ages to clock that SP was merely telling the truth.

Dilys grin I see you know Fireman Sam well. Yes I was indeed telling the truth! I even said at one point I was been honest but some didn't believe. No one asked his age though grin

Kyrptonite Tue 23-Apr-13 16:34:32

Nothing to add but this thread has cheered up a shitty day!

Osmiornica Tue 23-Apr-13 16:35:31

"Has anyone seen the youtube advert for the Spanish doll that poos? You mix it up some sort of feed and it poos it out. DS keeps showing me the advert. Yum."

That's just yuk. Although maybe the poster with the husband who jogs could take it out with him and blame the doll next time he decides to shit everywhere.

grin at this thread though. I just didn't twig at first .. I thought it must be some sort of tv character.

usualsuspect Tue 23-Apr-13 16:46:54

I knew from the first post this was a joke thread. Made me laugh.

My mindee has a baby called Baby too. It's very popular nowadays. Her's has green hair and lives under the table...

CitrusyOne Tue 23-Apr-13 17:05:43

Ths is a mumsnet classic surely? Made me smile

Hes gone to his dads with baby in tow. He has no carseat for her so baby will be on his knee. She hasn't been winded either after all that milk.

The bottle is amazing. Still haven't worked out how it is full then empty when tipped!

Jolly Its great! Just sit back and watch them drag a baby up grin


I have received a text from the toddlers dad asking why the toddler is trying to pull the carpet up for baby. grin They obviously dont have a car mat suitable

readyforno2 Tue 23-Apr-13 19:58:55

Grandparents these days...

Those judgey pants on too tight Ready grin

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Tue 23-Apr-13 20:58:21

Crying laughing at this thread!

AngelinaJoliesBeard Tue 23-Apr-13 21:17:41

My dd is a very young mum. So far her parenting seems to consist solely of giving the baby very vigorous eye examinations involving flicking the eyelids up and down and up and down repeatedly and prodding baby's eyeball in between. Ah, and she has been throwing baby on the floor a lot. I won't worry just yet though as she does cuddle her sometimes.

Auntlinny Tue 23-Apr-13 21:27:21

Maybe all these young parents need some coaching. My daughter will come and demonstrate with her naked baby Nibbles.

CinnabarRed Tue 23-Apr-13 21:27:25

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

<<always wanted to say that>>

MTSgroupie Tue 23-Apr-13 21:31:39

There is a difference between looking after the baby while he pops down to the pub and offering help and advice like you would do if he was married.

stubbornstains Tue 23-Apr-13 21:33:03

My DS's baby daughter is called Alan. AIBU to wonder if we should have tested this one on the Baby Names forum first?

MTS Hes 3. So too young for either

BobblyGussets Tue 23-Apr-13 21:37:22

My DS (at the age of 4) was actually pregnant with a baby girl, who he was going to call "Robert". I never got to meet Robert, so I don't think DS was a very good father. He must have shipped Robert off to her Mother's.

MTSgroupie Tue 23-Apr-13 22:53:00

blush I blame the red wine

MTS Dont worry you weren't the only one grin

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Wed 24-Apr-13 02:28:12

My DS1 has two babies, a boy and girl and they're both called "Beebee", he breastfeeds them but not very often. They must be getting enough though as he's always changing their nappies. The girl babys leg fell off because she's old, was mine as a child so I sellotaped it back on, it keeps falling off though which upsets DS but the doll is not sold anymore so I can't replace it and he's very attached to it I think she needs to see a doctor.

chillinwithmyyonis Wed 24-Apr-13 02:44:39

I don't have this problem, my dd has two black cats, one called Alan, one called 'jac the cat' (as written on his homemade collar). She gets pissed off when dp calls the gangly one a monkey.

jaggythistle Wed 24-Apr-13 04:44:36

1 yo DS2 tried to kidnap his big cousins brand new baby when she visited recently. I'm not sure its a good idea to let him have his own though. Although he suckedkissed DN's baby's head a lot, I've seen how hard he bites his wee Andrex puppy's nose.

DS1 used to bake his favourite cuddly in the oven every day. At least we knew where to find him.

jaggythistle Wed 24-Apr-13 04:47:19

Although the oven one did get breastfed and given dry cereal sometimes, so wasn't entirely neglected.

pollywollydoodle Wed 24-Apr-13 05:25:08

my daughter's baby was very bright, right from the moment she arrived she could say "i love you" and "i want my nappy changed"

we thought she was probably gifted and talented but she didn't progress. she lives in a box in the attic now ....a big one

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Wed 24-Apr-13 06:10:46

My DS has recently had a baby too. He throws it at me and signs milk. Which is interesting as I haven't bf for over a year.

He likes me to hold his baby all day - I think he is following the attachment parenting model, which is his choice. He needs to be free for his climbing activities and demolition work.

Is it right that I do all the work for my DS's baby, or should I let him do his thing?

He also has a belief that his baby should eat what he eats, I think he is doing BLW. His baby seems to enjoy banana but was unhappy with the spaghetti my DS was trying to force feed her.

Should I intervene when he force feeds his baby? I feel his baby is too young to eat solid food.

I don't want to become an overbearing Nan, but I also have concerns for the way he lets her sleep in the toy box at night.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Wed 24-Apr-13 06:21:11

(Hilarious thread. Had me in stitches from the start!)

mathanxiety Wed 24-Apr-13 06:28:13

My granddaughter is about 20 now. She rejoices in the name of Sack. Lovely personality, quiet as a mouse, you'd never know she was there, and it's a shame she's been living in a closet for the last 9 years.

We had several babies. One, usefully called Gardenbaby. She lived under a bush and was always naked. As an aging hippy, I respected her life choices and I think she kept the slugs off the lettuce.
I did sometimes suggest that she could come in for a bath and a cuddle, but was firmly told by her mother that the baby would not like that at all.

Lollydaydream Wed 24-Apr-13 08:15:28

my grandchild is a small monkey who eats rice krispies; since this baby arrived dd has neglected all the older babies. I fear they will grow resentful.

Princessgenie Wed 24-Apr-13 08:44:34

Love it. Have been wetting myself laughing at this. X

RevoltingPeasant Wed 24-Apr-13 09:24:49

I had my first baby about 31 years ago - tbh, I can't even remember - but I do know I used a kitchen knife to perform major abdominal surgery on them. Curiously, they mostly bled tomato ketchup.

We no longer have contact.

YoniRaver Wed 24-Apr-13 09:36:44

DS left his baby (he calls him baby as well) in his pushchair not stepped in while he went to fetch his scooter. Of course baby rolled down the hill and fell out

YoniRaver Wed 24-Apr-13 09:37:00

not strapped in

SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou Wed 24-Apr-13 09:43:44

I think you need to face up to the fact that you need Jezza.
He obviously isn't coping very well and I'd be starting to question if he even knows who the mother is...
Jezza can do DNA testing and sort this out for you, relieve some of the pressure from you and mother might even "step up" and support your DS in the raising of Baby.

He sounds like hes got the feeding sorted though, car mat must be comfy too.

johnworf Wed 24-Apr-13 09:57:52

Our baby is currently pregnant herself - with twins. Both stuffed up her jumper. I'm pretending to be out when social services visit.

Smile There's a picture of Baby in the car mat on my profile. She is totally swaddled. No idea about the mother as she was kidnapped from my mums house and she assisted.

Couthy Just leave them alone! His babba his rules!

Reading this has brought fond memories of my first baby, Tina was a very talented baby, if you pulled her arm off she would wee out of the hole, when you put the arm back in, she peed out of her wee wee hole.

Her grand mother threw her out when she was young, I hope she used her talent to better her life, I often look on circus posters to see of 'the incredible arm pissing Tiny Tears' is making top billing, as yet i haven't seen, I live in hope that one day we can be reunited. sad

IneedAyoniNickname Wed 24-Apr-13 10:22:06

My ds1 always straps his baby into the pram. I found him the other day, strapped in so nice and safe, the pram was folded up and chucked in a corner though. Baby seems fine.

INeed Least the baby was strapped in.

I hope he brings baby home from his dads. If he leaves her he doesn't shut up about her for at least 10 minutes.

IneedAyoniNickname Wed 24-Apr-13 10:54:52

That's what I thought sp as not strapping them in seems to be a problem these days.

And these Spanish dolls that poo, doesn't baby born do that? Or is (s)he Spanish?

I have no idea as I have never heard of them. I keep looking out for the advert but nothing yet

I saw the advert for the shitting doll today. Wtf is that?! Its as bad as the shitting dog game!

Baby has been on the naughty step since half 6 this morning. I'm not allowed to talk or even look at her

Borntobeamum Thu 25-Apr-13 08:36:01

I think he should realise he's not going to be a very good daddy and either list the baby on eBay or Gumtree.
I'm sure there will be another gullible boy who will take this child on and give it the love it expects!

jacks365 Thu 25-Apr-13 09:06:04

My dd has adopted my 38 yo niece. I'm never quite sure if she's kissing or biting her she's so enthusiastic. Patricia is a large baby wearing age 3-6 month clothes my dsis used to take her everywhere but got bored carrying her in the supermarket one day so dm put her in the trolley seat, the disapproving glares she got still haunt her to this day. Never let lifelike babies out of the house.

pollywollydoodle Thu 25-Apr-13 09:17:51

SPsYoni i confess to being an interfering grandmother....i hid her food and my granddaughter never pooed....mind you she could be doing anything in the loft..

Polly I have no idea where my granddaughter is and her father has no concerns so I'm leaving it. Hes too busy with his kitchen to care.

pollywollydoodle Thu 25-Apr-13 11:09:17

he might want to copy my daughter and tie her to a table leg until dinner is ready ....or not...they do tend to turn up when the steak and chips are ready

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