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To think kids watching tv is a bit of a waste of their life?

(317 Posts)
Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:14:28

My daughter is 5 and her father and I are separated. When she has contact, she usually watches at least 5 films over the course of a weekend. On the other hand, here we used to go to the cinema on some of my weekends before her baby sister was born and that was the only thing she watched. We didn't even have a TV at home until 4 months ago. In the winter we had a film night on my Fridays where we baked cakes then snuggled on the sofa with teddies to watch a film and eat our cakes. But now the weather is finally brightening up we'll be going to the park/walking the dog/playing in the garden on those Fridays and so she probably won't watch anything here til next winter.
I read a few weeks ago that kids in the UK watch an average of 3 hours tv per day and that makes me sad as I really do think its a waste of their lives. Also, I don't understand where people find time for their kids to watch tv - my daughter goes to bed much later than her friends but we still run out of time to do everything she/we wanted to do. A typical day is:
7.30: she wakes up and gets ready while playing with DD2
7.45: breakfast
8.00: leave to walk/scoot/bike 2 miles to school

After school:
I usually drive to collect her so we can pop home for a snack before after school activities which usually finish at 6. She then plays/draws/reads while I cook tea, tea usually finished by 7 when we walk the dog, back home for homework, bath, stories and bed usually around 8.45.

There just isn't time in the day for tv and I don't understand where people find the time for it. If DD isn't doing an activity she likes to trampoline/paint/have tea parties etc after school and I think the amount of TV she watches at her fathers is a waste of his contact time. Before I get flamed and told my DD needs to rest and relax which may be why she watches TV at her dads - drawing and listening to stories are relaxing too. My DD never asks to watch TV here even if worn out - which is very rare indeed! AIBU to think watching TV is a bit of a waste of children's lives when there are so many more fun things they could be doing?

TV is my best friend and babysitter so YABU

ObiWankenYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 13:18:52

Without Mr Tumble, I would not cope.

Bunbaker Sun 21-Apr-13 13:20:04

Smug

Fakebook Sun 21-Apr-13 13:20:14

<applauds> You're doing a splendid job with her. But so are parents who do find time for their children to watch tv. Everyone has their own parenting style. I don't think it's a waste, and it shouldn't bother you what other people decide to do.

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:21:13

Why is it smug to disagree with kids watching TV?

Fairylea Sun 21-Apr-13 13:22:08

I have the tv on all day everyday. Ds is 10months old and lights up when mr bloom comes on tv and jigs about to all the tunes. Dd aged 10 has grown up like this and is top of her class and very social.

We also go out a lot and do lots of other things. It's all about balance !

theodorakisses Sun 21-Apr-13 13:22:40

In our house there is usually a tv on somewhere, radio four on 24/7, kids in and out, crisps and pizza not banned and dogs and cats everywhere.
I cannot think of anything more dull than a house with no sounds except the sound of enforced "activities".
Still, nice opportunity for a stealth boast thread OP.

SkinnybitchWannabe Sun 21-Apr-13 13:23:19

My dc watch tv whenever they want and they haven't grown 2 heads.
I can kind of see your point about her only watching tv at her dads instead of doing activities.

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:23:20

TV on all day everyday is hardly balanced!

infamouspoo Sun 21-Apr-13 13:23:23

TV is fab and educational

noisytoys Sun 21-Apr-13 13:23:29

I usually turn cbeebies off when it starts looping and repeating itself. Not that DDs do nothing but watch TV, but it's usually on in the background

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 21-Apr-13 13:25:13

OP I don't like that my DC watch TV and applaud what you're doing, but there is a happy medium.
What happens at the weekend? Do you never just need to get something done and find that she needs you? At the moment mine are creating chaos upstairs and I am MNing clearing out our spare room. But sometimes it's just mummy, mummy, mummy and I never get a second of "not needed" tmie

Amykins My TV is on all day while we are in the house. Doesn't mean he sits glued to it. It is possible for children to play and ignore the TV or paly while they watch. I'm teaching him multitasking

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sun 21-Apr-13 13:25:32

Isn't 8.45pm a little late for a 5 year old to go to bed?

I'm amazed you can get her from waking up to out of the door in 30 mins flat too!

I watched TV as a child and I have fond memories of being excited about my favourite programmes. If you and your child are fine without it, good for you. It doesn't mean that households that watch more TV than you are wasting their children's lives in any way.

And yes, you do sound a bit smug. It may be your faux bafflement at the fact that others do things differently.

everlong Sun 21-Apr-13 13:25:35

It's finding the balance. They need to switch off from school, they need their brains stimulated, they need to enjoy their spare time.

Tv does have a roll in this.

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:25:53

They aren't enforced activities! I'll ask her what she wants to do and she'll say draw/paint/trampoline/ play with chickens/dog/guinea pig/baby and i will help her if necessary

I only wish dd would take an interest in the tv instead of needing to be constantly entertained grin

My ds used to love programmes like Mr Tumble when he was younger. It can teach them new things, show them different nationalities, disabilities etc that they might not normally run into in their own world.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 21-Apr-13 13:26:09

I have a friend whose DC watch very little TV, and wish I could be like that grin

theodorakisses Sun 21-Apr-13 13:26:16

I don't think anyone really watches it, we have an outside pool and a beach and sailing club up the road with things going on. If people want to go, they go, if they want to watch tv they watch tv. I don't depend on my kids for company.

Pozzled Sun 21-Apr-13 13:26:29

Yabu. I don't think it's time wasted; my DDs learn a lot from cbeebies. As with anything, the key is balance.

lucamom Sun 21-Apr-13 13:27:16

5 films strikes me as excessive over a weekend, but since having children I've modified my 'tv is evil' stance.

Like most things, I believe it's ok (sometimes necessary) in moderation, but the key thing is what they're watching. Until recently mine were strictly only cbeebies, and have learnt heaps from nina & the neurons/mr tumble/get well soon etc. however, now the boys are 6 and 4 I've allowed the odd episode of Ben 10/star wars, and I can see an immediate change in their behaviour (only slight, but after watching these types of programmes they become more aggressive-noticeable because they aren't typical rough and tumble boys-and even a bit Ruder/cheekier).

We compromise with Disney channel but looking for non fighting/American stuff that's not babyish!

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 21-Apr-13 13:28:13

Chocs I thought that but her DD does get up very late too

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 21-Apr-13 13:28:27

Sorry, Op but i agree with others.
You are very smug.

I'd never get to mumsnet without tv!

Taffeta Sun 21-Apr-13 13:28:56

I am quite horrified at your schedule, winter Fridays should be for learning Mandarin.

Have a biscuit op.

nokidshere Sun 21-Apr-13 13:29:02

Have to say that your day sounds incredibly boring!!!! And 8:45 bedtime for a 5 year old???????

We love TV - we sing and dance and join in the games on cbeebes, we chat about things we are watching, we learn things for our homework/general knowledge - its a fantastic medium. There is nothing my (now 12 & 14 year olds) sons dont know about whales, sharks and marine life courtesy of Nat Geo! And the older one was speaking spanish at 2 thanks to D D D Dora and her exploring grin Not to mention their science knowledge due to Mythbusters!!!! TV isn't all inane crap you know!

CarpeVinum Sun 21-Apr-13 13:30:14

Sky Italia with it's language option taught my son English.

Well alright, I had something to do with it, but by the time he was verbal I was back at work, he was immersed in Italian and getting English cemented as a duel mother toungue felt like trying to climb Everest in ballet shoes.

Insising that all telly was watched in English made a massive difference, thank you Zac and Cody and your inexplicable life in a hotel where nobody seem to do much work.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 21-Apr-13 13:30:42

boring, really, nokids??

Fairylea Sun 21-Apr-13 13:30:43

You don't have to sit glued to the tv when it's on though... like when I said all day everyday I meant in the background like a friendly fire smile ... we watch bits of it and do other things too.

I always remember the scene from friends when joey sees a living room without a tv and asks what they position their sofas around smile

Squitten Sun 21-Apr-13 13:32:24

I take it you only have one child? Believe me it's quite a different story when your 6yr old is playing nicely while you're out of the room and her 3yr old brother trashes her toys while your baby is crawling about amongst the chaos hoping not to be trodden on! TV can be an absolute life-saver when you have a clutch of tired, ratty kids who cannot co-exist for more than 5mins without murdering each other.

Now, I say that as someone who just recently got rid of their TV. It broke and we decided not to replace it because I felt that we did rely on it too much to keep the kids quiet. Generally it's been an improvement. We have an iPad though and sometimes it's just heaven to be able to put CBeebies on and have 15mins of peace and bloody quiet.

GirlOutNumbered Sun 21-Apr-13 13:32:41

And you are also lucky to have a 730 waker.
Tv saved my life in the 5am get up days!

nokidshere Sun 21-Apr-13 13:32:49

afterschool activities every day till 6? Homework after 7pm? Play for half an hour while tea is made? Doesn't sound very fun to me!

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:32:59

On saturdays she comes to my room for stories and cuddles in bed, then we have breakfast together. While I shower she plays in her room, I take her dancing, we walk the dog so baby can sleep, quick lunch then swimming, then park, home for 4ish to bake then maybe a bike ride before tea. On Sundays we generally go out for the day. I tend to do everything I need to while kids are in but if I had to do something and she was home she is very capable of occupying herself

StillSeekingSpike Sun 21-Apr-13 13:33:14

What's wrong with 'wasting time' when you are a child/ WSome of my happiest memories are of watching Westerns with my grandfather- or 'The Wizard of Oz' practically every Xmas. And the first time I saw Star Wars!
Sometimes I think it can be nice to be so involved with children- but then knowing the sort of child I was, sometimes it's also nice to be LEFT ALONE.

Fairylea Sun 21-Apr-13 13:34:15

Oh yes girloutnumbered... early morning cbeebies is blissful when I'm half asleep and ds is raring to go at 5.30am sometimes ! smile

theodorakisses Sun 21-Apr-13 13:34:47

I think it sounds boring too. I would love to force my family to do anything other than drive 2 miles to school (they are all giggling at the thought)! How unutterably tedious a start to the day and, unless boasty, how on earth is it relevant to your opinion about televisual activities?

threesypeesy Sun 21-Apr-13 13:35:42

Yabu tv is on in our house whenever we are in our 3dds are not glued to it they happily do other thinks they are all very social and are all very intelligent and above there age range in rsading and writing.

A bit shock at the 8:45 bed time for a 5 year old thats later tham my 8&9 year olds bedtime

MiniTheMinx Sun 21-Apr-13 13:35:54

We don't have a TV in the house. Bloody ugly things to look at grin

DCs are not too worried. We do have four Pcs and two laptops, we can cheat and watch ITV and BBC but its rare.

PseudoBadger Sun 21-Apr-13 13:35:55

See if I had chickens I don't think DS would watch TV. But we don't sad Everyone has to make the best of what they have.

everlong Sun 21-Apr-13 13:37:40

Arggh I don't believe this either.

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:37:50

I have 2 children actually and also nanny. I'm not lucky she's a 7.30 waker, she wakes later because she goes to bed later

gymboywalton Sun 21-Apr-13 13:38:10

i think a five year old doing homework after 7pm far more disturbing than kids watching tv
poor little dot must be exhausted

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Sun 21-Apr-13 13:38:18

Seriously, TV, entertainment and media are the last industries still growing in the UK. How are your kids going to get a cushy job at a games company or in post-production if they don't know the story arcs of Star Wars and Doctor Who in detail?

ilovexmastime Sun 21-Apr-13 13:38:21

My two find time to watch tv while I'm cooking tea. Your DD chooses to colour, mine choose tv. That's how we find time.
I don't think I'd be too happy to find they'd watched 5 films in a weekend, but your ex is obviously struggling to fill his time withher. I'd let it go, maybe as she gets older he'll find it easier.

BrokenBananaTantrum Sun 21-Apr-13 13:39:22

YABU
My DD has a busy life. She is 6 and a half and her schedule is this
School 6 hrs a day
Tuesday dancing for an hour and a half
Wednesday Rainbows for hour
Thursday swimming with me for an hour
Friday swimming club for an hoir
If she wants to chill out in front of the TV for a few hours a week so be it. I like to chill out in front of the TV.
Just because it doesnt suit your lifestyle dont judge.

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:40:24

Driving the 2 miles to school takes up to 30 mins because of traffic, her dad would still drive and put a film on the iPad for her so it is relevant

What everlong said

LookingThroughTheFog Sun 21-Apr-13 13:41:32

^ if I had to do something and she was home she is very capable of occupying herself^

You do understand that all children in the world aren't carbon copies of your child, don't you? And that all families aren't set up in exactly the same way?

You might find that when you have a three year old and a seven year old, you need some extra stimulus to point the small one at so you can take the time you need to help the older one with homework.

My DD is brilliant and wonderful (I would say that, wouldn't I?) and she loves to draw, paint and make things. She also needs to ask questions, and find stuff out all the time. It's wonderful, but draining. Being five, she can't grab an encyclopedia or hop online to work stuff out for herself yet. So yes, once a day so that I can completely focus on my SEN son, I'll point her at the TV and put something interesting, fun, and usually educational on. It's the only way I get space from the incessant (but brilliant) questions.

DS watches TV too (shock, horror), usually when I'm making up for the time with DD. His favourite show at the moment is Hairy Bikers. While I put DD to bed, he snuggles with his dad (who's just in from work) and the two of them talk about food and get ideas about what they'll cook at the weekend.

WipsGlitter Sun 21-Apr-13 13:41:36

That's a late bedtime!!

It's horses for courses. We have the tv on but we do other things too.

ShowMeTheYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 13:41:53

Each to their own OP. I don't fill every minute of my kids days. You might not agree with tv, I think an 8.45 bedtime is far to late for a five year old, but I'm not going to start a thread about it. So YABU IMO

PoppyAmex Sun 21-Apr-13 13:42:10

"I'm not lucky she's a 7.30 waker, she wakes later because she goes to bed later"

I'm still laughing at this.

Yes, nothing to do with luck, OP. All these silly women on the Sleep forum desperate to get their children to wake up later than 5am... someone should tell them this is all they have to do, put them to bed later. grin

ObiWankenYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 13:42:47

'and a nanny'

Stealth boast.

Who cares??

JustFoofy Sun 21-Apr-13 13:44:41

You have balance. She's staring at the tv at her dad's and doing the other stuff with you. Balanced.

I heard the "groovy moves" music from show me show me the other day and choked up. Everyday we did the groovy moves regardless of what we were doing at the time. Dd is at school now so I have to groovy move alone sad

ivykaty44 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:44:57

I used to have a friend/neighbour when I was about 6 years old, she was a couple of years older than me and they didn't have a tv set in the house. If she came to my house to play do you know what she did? She plonked herself down in front of our old tv in the sitting room and refused to move - she was the most boring friend to come to play ever!

Why would a girl of 9 want to watch wrestling on a saturday afternoon rather than play with me the most energetic and interesting girl in the street!

I didn't invite her often as there were other children who had tv's and were allowed to watch it at home and they made far better play mates on a saturday afternoon.

We don't have live tv, but dd2 still watches what she wants when she wants (we are out a lot and she takes part in a lot of sport) which is great as a relaxing time on a sunday evening - after 5 hours on a bike today I can bet my last dollar she will be watching catch up casualty tonight

Ragwort Sun 21-Apr-13 13:45:16

I think you might find your DD's habits change as she gets a little older grin - my five year old DS used to be like your DD, loved playing outside, doing things etc etc - now I find it hard to drag him away from the TV (he is 12) - despite doing loads of 'worthwhile' activities.

Personally, I don't like TV much and yes, I am a bit judgey about adults who seem to find entertainment in watching some of the rubbish that is on our screens, but I remind myself, we are all different, lots of people would probably find my hobbies extremely dull and boring grin. I think watching TV is a waste of my time yet I happy to spend hours time on mumsnet !

Squarepebbles Sun 21-Apr-13 13:45:41

Yabu

My dc 9,9&8 watch TV and have screens but no more than 1 hour a day.Yesterday they watched a Harry Potter film as a Saturday treat but had no other screen time during the day.

Always having it on effects concentration and the ability to amuse oneself.I don't want my dc to have the attention span of a gnat or to think studying means a TV droning on in the background.

I don't think screens are evil but I think a lot of parents are lazy in how they parent ie they'd rather have quiet kids in a vegetable like state than kids getting toys out and making noise,mess,creating and arguing.

Oh and I had 3 under 15 months which I found hard and did rely on CBeebies but no more than an hour a day.

<Dons hard hat for inevitable flaming>

Squarepebbles Sun 21-Apr-13 13:46:19

And that should have been yanbu.

Squarepebbles Sun 21-Apr-13 13:46:59

You just say no.

Mine read masses if they're at a loose end.

theodorakisses Sun 21-Apr-13 13:47:57

For me, the time between cheggars plays pop and willo the wisp was blissful relaxation time after a busy day at school. If my mum had tried to engage me in anything other than tv squash and a blue riband I think I would have left home.

PseudoBadger Sun 21-Apr-13 13:48:04

I read it that OP is a nanny, not that they have one?

PoppyAmex Sun 21-Apr-13 13:48:53

"Always having it on effects concentration and the ability to amuse oneself."

But it might teach them how to spell! grin

Scholes34 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:48:58

There are some great things on TV, amongst some not-so-great things. With the amount of baking you do, OP, you should at least be making a point of watching The Great British Bake-Off when it's on or Paul Hollywood's Bread, though your DD would be missing the last 15 mins if she has an 8.45 pm bed time. I'm sure you could fit in these programmes between a cycle ride and walking the dog. If not, you should seriously re-think the need for a cycle ride.

theodorakisses Sun 21-Apr-13 13:50:03

PoppyAmex, I actually love you a little bit

claraschu Sun 21-Apr-13 13:50:18

Yanbu
There are so many things to do. and so many ways to relax.
I don't feel great after watching TV. To me it is the equivalent of junk food- appealing and off-putting for many of the same reasons.

I also hate the sound of TV in the background (or the radio), but I think that is just something that really bothers me, and most people quite like it.

I keep my mouth shut about this in RL, so that people won't think I am a smug killjoy.

My kids are older now, and they like a bit of TV occasionally (football mainly), but they have never been big TV watchers.

YABU.

I don't let my DC watch too much (like hours and hours) but they watch a large-ish amount, but it's fun. That's all it is. They want and need to wind down and relax without doing something like a game or structured....and, tbh, watching TV is a lot more relaxing for most kids than reading (some obviously love it, but even dd who finds it relaxing prefers TV).

theodorakisses Sun 21-Apr-13 13:52:42

What time are they awarding the prizes?

Squarepebbles Sun 21-Apr-13 13:52:53

Tis my downtime and I type quick on an Ipad,couldn't give a stuff.smile

Oh and if they bellyache when their hour is up they get zilch the next day<evil mum>

They get an hour to zonk in front of TV after school then off it goes and they run off outside.

JustFoofy Sun 21-Apr-13 13:53:55

Theo willo the wisp/cheggers plays pop/blue riband/squash grin

Thankyou for that. It all came flooding back.

Shinigami Sun 21-Apr-13 13:54:53

YABU

I have wonderful memories of watching costume dramas with my Grandma and time team with my Grandpa. It kick started my love of history.
You do come accross as a bit smug TBH.

Squarepebbles Sun 21-Apr-13 13:56:32

Don't need a prize,I'm far from perfect however I limit screen time and acknowledge the reasons for that. There are loads of parenting choices I don't always make the best choices however I acknowledge they may not be the best choice.

Leave your kids in front of TV for hours however don't berate those that question whether that is in the best interest of children.

ObiWankenYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 13:57:11

PseudoBadger Sun 21-Apr-13 13:48:04
I read it that OP is a nanny, not that they have one?

Even so, how is that even relevent confused

I could say, I have one child and I'm a fishmonger. It still wouldn't be relevant to an OP grin

Squarepebbles Sun 21-Apr-13 13:58:27

Oh and in Cheggars day there wasn't the endless loop to watch 24/7. You watched a couple of shows after school and beggared off.

PseudoBadger Sun 21-Apr-13 13:58:55

I thought she was possibly saying that she's so fab she can entertain not only her own, but other people's children without the evil screen.

BooCanary Sun 21-Apr-13 14:00:05

I think my DCs probably watch about 8 hours a week. TV normally goes on when the DCs are absolutely shattered and need to sit down and chill for a bit.

Five films in a weekend is excessive IMO, and I'm not a fan of having TV in the background all day long, but an hour or so here and there is fine, as is enjoying a family film on a weekend.

Yamyoid Sun 21-Apr-13 14:00:12

Just read the op's 13.32 post and surely that's not physically possible with a baby and a 5 year-old. Swimming, park, then home to do some baking? Just in an afternoon. Hmmm. Well, it's not physically possible in my world. I have cbeebies on while I cook dinner so older one can switch off after school, but younger one still hangs off my legs.
You paint such an idyllic picture...

Thingiebob Sun 21-Apr-13 14:03:36

But it's all in moderation isn't it?

Nothing wrong with a bit of TV but three hours a day is excessive and not sure how kids fit in that much screen time if they are at school and nursery!

FWIW I was brought up in a house with no tv and now I turned into a right square eyes once I left home to go to Uni and got my own telly.

Asinine Sun 21-Apr-13 14:04:14

'Watching tv is a waste of time.'It depends on what you are watching, and how it makes you feel, and indeed what you think the purpose of life is.

For an extreme example, watching a 5 min loop of adverts for a few hours would be a waste of time by most peoples standards.

Watching a nature documentary might be informative, and enjoyable. It might inspire a dcs future career.

Watching comedy might help lift someone's mood.

Watching 'Cry Freedom', or 'Ghandi' and discussing the issues raised might change the way dcs think about the world for the better.

You are generalising and therefore BU.

badguider Sun 21-Apr-13 14:07:03

We watch a lot of sport on tv - things like the marathon this morning and the tour de france, the olympics.
We also watch some travel and nature documentaries...

Five films in a weekend is really loads, and i'm not a huge fan of most children's programmes. But I don't think all tv is a 'waste of life' - it opens up a window to the rest of the world.

Coffeeformeplease Sun 21-Apr-13 14:09:12

It irritates the hell out of me when I'm in a household where the tv is on all day. We would never want it at home. We have one TV in the living room and that's it. My little one sits there to watch mainly DVDs, there is no TV-snacking here and there all through the day as I hate that.

I too keep my mouth shut about this in RL, as most of children's friends houses have one TV per room with constant noise backdrop.

My older children have their laptops with restricted usage per day.

I don't know why we pay for TV license because most of the stuff on TV is insultingly boring. The 4 year old watches Sat-TV in our mother-tongue, but even there I have to pick the stuff I can tolerate her watching. At least from the language immersion point of view it's educational.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 21-Apr-13 14:09:41

I have the same experience as IvyKaty.
When my ds was little he used to hang out with a little gang of pals.
We live in a very quiet rural area, so they all used to run around outside for hours playing.
They had the chance to watch tv but didn't want to as they had more fun playing with each other.
Apart from the one little boy who didn't have a tv. He would come in and sit glued to it until I turned it off, then he'd have a tantrum because no one wanted to watch it with him. And he was exactly the same at the other's houses as well, they used to get so fed up with him.

StillSeekingSpike Sun 21-Apr-13 14:12:29

Firstly, when researchers say that children 'watch' 3 hours of TV a day, do they actually mean that the children watch it- or are they fighting with siblings, playing with dolls, wandering off into other rooms/
And as for TV being boring- you must be watching the wrong stations. This week I have seen a documentary on Isaac Newton, 24 hrs in A & E, another doc on tunnels, one on Josiah Wedgwood, the film Zulu and several episodes of the Big Bang Theory. I challenge you to find any of those 'boring'.

PoppyAmex Sun 21-Apr-13 14:12:56

Thanks theodora, you have excellent taste as evidenced by your blue riband penchant!

I totally agree with Asinine - my parents always made a point of watching international news and discussing social/political/historical events on the back of that and I can honestly say it made me less insular.

I also enjoyed Heidi immensely and she inspired a lifelong desire to own a baby goat.

Yamyoid Sun 21-Apr-13 14:15:28

Oooh, just read you have a nanny. Well then, now it makes sense.

sunnyshine Sun 21-Apr-13 14:17:06

My 9 year old goes to bed at 7.30. Isn't she shattered by 8.45 with such a full day?

Coffeeformeplease Sun 21-Apr-13 14:21:51

Maybe the interesting stuff is on while I'm at work or out. Or maybe I just got fed up years ago and have stopped bothering with TV. The rare good stuff (for example David Attenborough's film, Hitchcock's classics or whatever the older ones are into - Sherlock, Downton Abbey, Merlin etc) we have all on DVD to watch when we (they) want it.

thoroughlymodernmillie Sun 21-Apr-13 14:24:26

My two (8&9) do a lot of activities, the only days they don't are a Monday and Thursday. On these days we pick them up from childcare at 6 and because we are all too knackered to start making robots out of tin foil ans shoe boxes we generally watch the television. On a good day they will sit and watch re runs of midsumer murders (the eldest loves John Nettles) or the judge Unfortunately there are days when we have to suffer victorious or austin and ally
Watching the television has its place we can's always be on the go, its nice just to sit and chill for a bit

pigletmania Sun 21-Apr-13 14:24:37

Yabvvu some tv is not going to hurt, nothing wrong with it

forevergreek Sun 21-Apr-13 14:25:01

I agree. I dont care what others want to do, but we rarely watch tv here.

We probably watch a film one weekend eve when it's cold.

Age 2 and 3 here, and we can def take both swimming and back to bake if we wanted. There is no adult ratio in pools around here, both wear arm bands with an adult with them. They take off if two adults.
Baking/ cooking = they either join in 'helping' or just play.

On a typical day at home ( when no childcare/ work), it would be approx the same.
8am wake, get ready/ breakfast etc
9.30am out generally to whatever that days plan is
1pm -3 home for nap
3 onwards - out if nice/ or indoors paint/ bake/ play etc
6.30/7 dinner. Followed by bath/ stories etc
8pm bed

In the eve once asleep, myself and dh usually working from computer/ baking or cooking for next day if working out the home, read, bath/ shower, talk, bed. V rarely tv for us either

Time for tv is rare tbh. I'm not evaligical about it, I just wouldn't think of turning it on for myself/ dh, so rarely think about it for dc.

GirlOutNumbered Sun 21-Apr-13 14:26:28

Well we've been gardening all morning and have just come in. I'm having a cuppa, DS1 and 2 are watching Ben and holly...
I just want to sit for 30 mins and cruise the Internet. Yes, they could draw or paint or something similar, but we are jut chilling out and I don't want to supervise anything for a bit!

I se no problem with this.

GirlOutNumbered Sun 21-Apr-13 14:28:23

Although forevergeek, just made a good point, my DS1 has stopped napping so sometimes the tv is on for a bit down time too.

theodorakisses Sun 21-Apr-13 14:30:17

I also remember we used to sit down after bathnight on Sundays and all watch That's Life, huddled around the fire. Happy days...

LtEveDallas Sun 21-Apr-13 14:30:39

DD is 8. She goes to bed at 2030 and reads for a hour before sleeping. She is never up later much than 0600 (actually that's a lie, I love the day the clocks to forward!). Saturday she was up at 0530, today at 0605. I could put her to bed later, but she'd still get up early - she's just be grumpy as hell all day.

If we didn't have TV I'd be buggered by now grin

PuppyMonkey Sun 21-Apr-13 14:32:22

I hate ill informed TV bashing. David Attenborough the only thing on hmm there are loads of other good things on telly. Much more enriching than you baking fecking cupcakes with the kids.

Hate it when people bash something just because they're not interested in it. Your kids might get a great job working in telly when they grow up for all you know.

PearlyWhites Sun 21-Apr-13 14:35:18

Not enough sleep is damaging for children your dd goes to bed very late for a five year old.

everlong Sun 21-Apr-13 14:42:25

What's your actual point OP?

We get that your dd swims, dances, rides a bike, goes to the park, reads, does loads of activities, bakes, trampolines, blardy blah and that you don't agree with tv.

Perhaps her father is just redressing the balance when he has her by letting her chill out and watch tv.

if this were all true of course

GirlOutNumbered Sun 21-Apr-13 14:44:09

Perhaps she says 'daddy please let me watch the TV, I'm sick of making cupcakes!'

Bunbaker Sun 21-Apr-13 14:45:53

DD likes the TV on for company. She is currently doing her Geography homework, after that it will be DT, then French. She does all of it with the TV on. I used to listen to music while doing homework.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 21-Apr-13 14:46:09

I imagine she needs all that excercise since she stuffs herself with cakes everyday.

PoohBearsHole Sun 21-Apr-13 14:49:07

We love tv here. From baking o the recent Africa, dd is 5 and desperate o learn, she has learnt so much that I couldn't possibly know!
You obviously not watch kds TiVo you would know isn't the same tv asin our day. Cbeebies is so educational, nina ns the neutrons, mr bloom etc have influenced our projects fom asking a rocket to planting a garden for the dc.

Knock my life if you wish bui work, like some switch off time, bed at 8.45 is bonkers but then we need to leave home earlier tan you so I can et to work! I think busy busy young children have a lot of pressure on them. You ex is probably allowing your poor child a acne o Cthulhu up on my needed rest when would she otherwise?

stopgap Sun 21-Apr-13 14:49:13

We don't watch TV in our house. I am a bit of a caged animal at home, and like to be out and about, so we're always at the park, museums, toddler groups etc. Chill-out time at home consists of books and music, and 20-month-old DS is happy to pootle about the place with a broom in one hand and sieve in the other.

PoohBearsHole Sun 21-Apr-13 14:49:41

Allowing your poor child some chill out catch up time even

stopgap Sun 21-Apr-13 14:49:49

Oh, and chill-out time for me consists of reading, too...and plenty of Mumsnet when DS is napping!

GirlOutNumbered Sun 21-Apr-13 14:50:58

If we never watched the TV I would have deprived my son of the joys if walking round the house with a blanket to the darth Vader tune.

stopgap Sun 21-Apr-13 14:52:10

PoohBearsHole, I don't know if that's directed at me, but my son has taken after me and gets cabin fever if he's at home for more than a few hours. He likes to be outside as much as possible, even if just dragging a stick along a fence at the park. He takes a two-hour nap at home every day, and most late afternoons we are indoors doing stickers, books etc. which he's happy to do with or without me.

I can see how TV might come in handy if you have a child who doesn't like to entertain themselves.

PoohBearsHole Sun 21-Apr-13 14:54:45

Mumsn et is still a screen wink

Just because there is a tv on doesn't mean we don't do activities

stopgap Sun 21-Apr-13 14:57:32

Oh, I know. I just don't use the computer around my son.

I actually don't think TV is bad. I watched Windy Miller etc. as a young child, and will, in time, introduce television, and can't wait to watch films, such as Mary Poppins etc.

It could be because I'm in the US, and it is drilled into you that TV for the under-twos is detrimental. I have a dozen mum friends, and only one lets their young toddler watch TV or use an ipad.

Eeeeeowwwfftz Sun 21-Apr-13 14:58:00

Without CBeebies I would be unable to have a shower before breakfast.

Personally I find the sound of an unwatched TV one of the most depressing in the world but it seems others find it somehow comforting. On a recent thread about things that happen on TV/films that never happen in real life someone mentioned viewers turning the telly off at the end of a programme. I thought "what's weird about that?"

Anyway telly's great for what it is but I wouldn't want a child to spend all their time in front of it any more or less than I would want them reading, playing football, practising a musical instrument or doing maths exercises. Only one of these activities is routinely criticised however.

Coffeeformeplease Sun 21-Apr-13 14:58:02

I would never allow my children to do their homework while having the TV on. But then I'm bonkers anyway because my four-year-old goes to bed at 8.45 and I like David Attenborough grin

PoppyAmex Sun 21-Apr-13 15:00:06

"It could be because I'm in the US, and it is drilled into you that TV for the under-twos is detrimental. I have a dozen mum friends, and only one lets their young toddler watch TV or use an ipad."

Ahem. How has that been working out for the US? grin

stopgap Sun 21-Apr-13 15:05:45

PoppyAmex, probably not so great in other regions, but here in my NYC bubble, the mums I know are anti-screen, at least for toddlers, and when their kids get older they either cave and buy their kids every gadget known to man, or they stick to the no-screen rule in earnest.

I hope to achieve a happy ground, but I really hope, more than anything, that my son continues to love the great outdoors, and TV is more of a last resort source of entertainment on a rainy day.

In any case, children's TV over this way is diabolical.

PoohBearsHole Sun 21-Apr-13 15:07:54

Nope stopgap, read my previous post, all aimed at the op.

Apart fom mumsnet is a screen.

My dc love entertaining themselves and it is possibly because the have background music/tv etc when I am busy doing something else. In fact it has been noted by others tt dd is particular good at entertaining herself, she is imaginative and loves to read. She may have been like that anyway. I don't think that you need to do tv time when they are really small like your dc stopgap but school is very tiring, if I tried to do activities at the ops level every day I would have a meltdown child. She knows herself and when she is tired. If she wants to watch tv to chill out the ths is fine by me, she reads with me before bed, she isn't neglected and as I say she has learnt other things from tv.

Also we don't live in a town so to do activities and museums post school would cost a fortune and take loads of time meaning the dc wouldn't get a good meal or be able to focus on the activity.

They don't spend all weekend watching tv, they do lots of free things and playing too. They are outside 99% of the day but if they want to sit down for 5 mins then fine by me!

I don't think it is fair to say its rubbish and ll tv is bad, you mus be a bad neglectful parent, which the op is eying about her ex smile, I think the poor child must be worn out for her contact weekends!

BedHanger Sun 21-Apr-13 15:09:57

Honestly, it's just luck that your dd gets up late. Whether my ds goes to bed at 5pm or 10pm, he gets up before 7am every day <yawn>.

I'm jealous that your dd plays in her room while you shower. I use CBeebies then because toddler ds would be climbing bookshelves/'cuddling' the baby/unloading the clean laundry onto the kitchen floor otherwise.

plantsitter Sun 21-Apr-13 15:12:25

I don't think you're unreasonable to have an opinion. Mine is that TV is fine, but I'm not going to post the minutiae of my typical day because a). it would be boring and b). It would look like I was smugly trying to show how my routine was better than everyone elses c).there's quite a lot of squabbling involved in my day which I use the telly to distract from.

People do things differently. The end.

PoohBearsHole Sun 21-Apr-13 15:13:59

Coffee, doe you child go to school by any chance?

Dc2 would happily survive going to bed at 8.45 on some nights, dc1 not a chance, she'd have gone to bed by 7.30 if I attempted to do that! And she would have put herself there!

I live David A so don't find it weird!

And stopgap, the us imports on the satellite channels are hideous so I don't blame you for not utilising them! smile

PoohBearsHole Sun 21-Apr-13 15:15:11

LOVE

One very good reason not to get an iPad, TYPING

pigletmania Sun 21-Apr-13 15:16:17

My dd bakes, walks, goes dancing, gets to Rainbows, and reads but loves tv. You cannot entertain them 24/7. There are so many cakes you can bake or books to read you cannot possibly fill all day every day. I had a tv in my room from 8 (I am 36), I watched loads of sat/sun morning tv bu used to play out and swim a lot. I cannot think how ts affected me, I have a good MSc degree and feel I did ok. My dd btw has ASD so is a farly visual learner, tv has helped her so much educationally. I bought a mr men phonetics DVD a couple of years ago when pregnant with ds and had horrid morni g sickness. She certainly knew her phonetics at te end of the summer holiday on starting foundation

BedHanger Sun 21-Apr-13 15:17:12

grin at the idea that it's only for kids who can't entertain themselves. DS is too bloody good at entertaining himself, that's half the problem!

I think TV use is only an issue if they aren't also doing other things during the day, or if they're watching inappropriate programmes. My 2.5 yo has walked the dog, been to the playground, had two meals with me, played with his train set, cars and keyboard, had a nap and helped me look after his baby brother so far today. He's also watched an hour of telly (because he was up at 5.30) and will watch another 60-90 mins later. I think that's fine.

BedHanger Sun 21-Apr-13 15:18:45

The above makes it sound like he walks the dog by himself. While that would be bloody brilliant, he's probably a bit young yet.

Jinty64 Sun 21-Apr-13 15:18:55

My ds3 (6) watches tv when he comes in from after school club at 6pm. This is to let me wash the breakfast dishes and get some dinner on the table. Occasionally he plays outside but he has normally been playing out, along with art and craft and baking at AFC.

I finish work early one day a week to take him to a sports club. He then watches telly when he gets in as dishes and dinner still need to be done.

If I had a nanny he wouldn't need to watch tv.

GirlOutNumbered Sun 21-Apr-13 15:21:19

We watch maybe a film a week, normally on a Sunday night. My son will then spend the whole of the week re enacting parts of the film.
He does not spend hours re enacting parts of a book that we are reading though.

Tee2072 Sun 21-Apr-13 15:22:01

Oh god, who cares how much TV your or any other child watches?

How about you worry about your kids, I'll worry about my kids and you stay the hell out of my house and my private life completely?

Or, to put it more succinctly, DFOD.

usualsuspect Sun 21-Apr-13 15:23:38

You parent how you want to OP and let others do the same.

Your way is not necessarily better though.

Coffeeformeplease Sun 21-Apr-13 15:25:53

No, the youngest is at nursery. But I doubt she will go to bed earlier from September. My older two also don't need much sleep, and they get through the day fine. It's pointless putting her to bed earlier, as she will only lie there awake and eventually come downstairs again. When she is tired, she stays put, looks at a few books and goes to sleep.

Smithsgirl88 Sun 21-Apr-13 15:29:49

lol, at the the comment regarding tv only being for kids who can't entertain himself. My son can entertain himself, that's the bloody problem!! If the tv wasn't there then I would never have time to cook decent dinners for him or at least give the place a 5 minute spruce up without him getting into something he shouldn't be. Doesn't matter how much he loves tv though he will always choose to be outside than indoors. I always try and take him out in the morning, or he has playgroup, he's then home for his nap and then will usually be taken out again late afternoon even of its walking up the road up the shop.
Besides, I had sickness on Tuesday and if I didn't have the tv then I wouldn't have been able to let myself recover so I was back to normal the next day as I would've been chasing after my son all day trying to get him to put his mind to something and give me a few mins peace.

giveitago Sun 21-Apr-13 15:42:59

Dunno -my kid watched plenty of tv when a pre schooler and I credit it with his great use of language. If left just to talk to me he wouldn't have half the vocab he has now as I'm just not that interested in donosaurs, mini beasts etc.

He loves tv and also loves playing alone and making up dialogue type stuff. Suits him.

Shelly32 Sun 21-Apr-13 15:50:38

We mix and match. The girls get lots of outdoor time, loads of indoor play including family games, lots of reading and learning time and yes, they watch T.V too. Programmes like Aphablocks and Numtums are brilliant for learning and I find family films etc throw up tons of questions They are curious girls anyway but they've not had much experience of dinosaurs and I know the family film 'Jurassic Park' in a few minutes, is going to get them asking and learning a lot.

squoosh Sun 21-Apr-13 15:54:28

thoroughlymodernmillie

'My two (8&9) do a lot of activities. On a good day they will sit and watch re runs of midsumer murders (the eldest loves John Nettles)'

That made me chuckle, I did not know that John Nettles had an under 10s fan base!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MousyMouse Sun 21-Apr-13 16:08:46

yanbu (sort of)
tv has it's place and a little bit won't harm imo, esp if the dc get plenty of other activities as well.
my dc are allowed half an hour screen time during the week (helps me prepare dinner without being tripped up) and 2 hours on weekends.
5 films on one weekend is very excessive, though. that doesn't leave much time for gong to the park or just simply playing.

missmapp Sun 21-Apr-13 16:09:03

Today my ds' have

woken up, watched a bit of telly while dh and i woke up
been to football training
played in the garden
ridden their bikes
ds1 gone to St George's Day parade for cubs
ds2 been to the garden centre with me, chosen and helped plant new plants .
More playing in the garden
ds1 has started his homework and termly project
ds2 has finished his reading and spelling
They are now watching a film.
It is their wind down time at the end of a weekend and I think thats fine.

Yes, TV can be a waste, but we all need a bit of relaxation, and my two only stop when they are watching telly!!

Balance is all - oh and that every one is different!!

bugster Sun 21-Apr-13 16:11:20

As far as TV is concerned YANBU. I am a TV hater. I think just about anything else is more worthwhile for a child than watching TV. Inespecially can't stand it being on as background noise when noone is watching it.

However my children do occasionally watch something - more likely a DVD than TV - because they can't always do worthwhile things and noone's perfect.

forevergreek Sun 21-Apr-13 16:12:06

Can a 6 year old really not entertain himself alone whilst you wash up?

Those who need tv for 5 year old so they can cook, can't they join in? Chop a mushroom/ lay table/ mix something?

If you/ they want to watch tv fair enough, but not managing to wash/ cook/ breathe because a school age children won't let you is crazy. My 2 year old can stand on a stool with a spoon and help make dinner, and will play or 'help' wash up etc. if you need a 2 year old out the way fine, but 5/6 year olds??

zeeboo Sun 21-Apr-13 16:13:13

I prefer stealth brags when the op actually bothers to try and be stealthy. hmm

MrsMacFarlane Sun 21-Apr-13 16:16:10

You get humblebragging as well. X Factor contestants do a lot of it. Anyway, back on topic. IMHO the OP is smugger than a smug gold medallist at a smug convention.

MajaBiene Sun 21-Apr-13 16:22:04

My 2 year old probably watches a couple of hours of TV a day, first thing in the morning and before dinner in the evening. More on the weekends.

He does plenty of other things too though - playing, swimming, nursery, the park - so it doesn't bother me.

Shelly32 Sun 21-Apr-13 16:24:18

forevergreek Agreed that things like cooking can be joined in with. Marking thirty Y9 books can't and toddlers/children really don't let you do this.

squoosh Sun 21-Apr-13 16:25:23

I like a brag brag. None of this fannying around with stealth or humble.

'I have two Bentleys, three homes, seven domestic staff and an array of handsome lovers. Beat that sucka!'

MajaBiene Sun 21-Apr-13 16:27:42

Also I am pretty hungover today so an afternoon of lying in bed with DS watching movies and eating sweets is all I can manage grin

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Sun 21-Apr-13 16:31:29

Perhaps you should start a blog op?

flowers Screen-free-Mumzees, cupcakes and cycle rides and back home to make pasta necklaces. thanks

Tee2072 Sun 21-Apr-13 16:32:29

Well, my child just made apple sauce to go with our gammon in coke, all by himself.

He's been visited by Michelin and we are expecting our 4th star any day now. Just for our kitchen, you understand, we don't own a restaurant or anything.

He's also putting the finishing touches on his 3rd novel, the first 2 of which were best sellers. In 300 languages, including some that had no written alphabet until they had to have my son's books in them.

He's nearly 4.

carriedawayannie Sun 21-Apr-13 16:32:30

It is a waste of time. Is that a bad thing? I love having leisure time to waste. Isn't that normal? Who doesn't love relaxing and wasting time?

As long as my dc are active and interested in many different things then I don't care how they spend their leisure time. Its their choice and I think it would be very unhealthy to micro manage their time.

5yo dd1 does swimming and rainbows as after school activities. She loves playing out the back, riding her bike/scooter, baking , painting, drawing and much prefers being out than being in.

Today we have been out to the park for a picnic and play and she has been out bike riding with her dad. In between that she has been free to switch the TV on as she chooses. She watched 20 mins this morning and then stated to watch Cinderella when we got back from park but she must have got bored because she has spend the rest of the day out the back building a den with her 2yo sister.

I think the most important she is that she her teaching her herself self regulation. Its ok to impose strict limits on children's screen times when they are young and you can micro manage their movements. But when they older they will have access to screens and they have to be able to self regulate.

I do wonder how the children who have no access to screens will cope when they have the freedom to watch TV all day.

carriedawayannie Sun 21-Apr-13 16:34:53

angry @ typos on ipad.

MrsMacFarlane Sun 21-Apr-13 16:35:58

We had neighbours who didn't have a TV on principle. Their kids went to Steiners, not sure if that's connected but whenever they came into our house they were like flies stuck on toffee staring at the screen and wouldn't play with my DCs cause they wanted to stoke up as much "evil telly" as they could. Her DH was always hanging about if there was a Major Sporting Event being televised as well and would turn up at the door, six pack in hand and expect to come in and watch it. It really got on my nerves and I eventually snapped and said "just buy a fucking telly why don't you?". They moved soon after...

It surely depends on the age of a child and the quality of tv programs?

Honestly, I could watch hrs and hrs of tv when we lived in the UK and I didn't mind if the children watched 1 hr of Charlie and Lola or the likes!

Now that we are in Italy and general tv is crap, we don't watch it. We download or buy dvds of movies and series etc, basically we choose what we watch (and evil mother makes the dc watch things in English grin).

IntheFrame Sun 21-Apr-13 16:45:29

Mmm-but the Op isn't actually doing much with her DC's apart from walking the dog.
Most of her DC time is spent walking (to school,the dog) or in activities.

There doesn't seem to be much time for TV except for the weekend when her Dad has her. She is probably very grateful...

feralgirl Sun 21-Apr-13 16:56:37

I don't really understand what exactly is supposed to happen to children who watch "too much" TV. I watched LOADS when I was young (I was a latchkey kid and I used to just watch telly and eat biscuits for hours until my parents got home) and I still managed to do really well at school and not be fat. DS is 4 and probably watches an hour or so of TV every day - more when DH is in charge - but he does loads of other stuff as well and hasn't turned into an angry fat idiot.

I hate the idea of the OP's "after school activities that finish at 6" for DS; that seems way too much for a 5 year old. I'd much rather DS was loafing around the house with us, chatting and maybe watching TV, playing in the garden or helping cook tea.

There was an interesting article about the benefits of kids having time to zone out in front of the box in The Guardian (so it must be true) a couple of weeks ago but I can't find it online.

yaimee Sun 21-Apr-13 16:57:18

Sorry, couldn't read the op as I was blinded by the sun shining out of your arse.

feralgirl Sun 21-Apr-13 17:00:10
BegoniaBampot Sun 21-Apr-13 17:32:10

hate the Tv being on all day as background noise with no-one watching it, specially with all the drivel that's on - makes my teeth itch. my kids do watch tv though, probably more than I often like and computer games - they also do loads of sports.

shushpenfold Sun 21-Apr-13 17:38:57

It is unless you have 3 kids who have been at school for 6 days this week, have done prep this morning and were so knackered/catatonic that TV is the perfect solution......

cantspel Sun 21-Apr-13 17:39:28

Amy You must have wasted at least 5 minutes of your life writing that op. Surely your time would have been better spent learning russian/cleaning out the cat tray or baking oat cakes?

fuzzpig Sun 21-Apr-13 17:45:47

My DCs watch too much TV (my health doesn't currently allow for much else) but they are asleep by 7.15 thank you very much grin

nettlefairy Sun 21-Apr-13 17:49:17

I see both sides of the argument - I love telly but its like potatoes - great as part of a diet but I wouldn't want it to be the only thing my kid ate. I think TV becomes a problem when it's always the first thing your child wants to do when they have free time. Kids no longer have any reason to be bored and for some kids, being bored is when they get creative. On the other hand, some kids can watch a lot and still have the energy and enthusiasm to draw, play and whatever else we did when there wasn't 24/7 telly and others seem to turn into tired slumpy things slowly dripping down the edge of the sofa.

orangeandlemons Sun 21-Apr-13 17:51:33

I never watch tv.

For ds, it was his life source. He loved watching it as much as possible....he's still gone to university, reads all the time and is a pretty rounded individual.

As for dd, well I'm with the poster above, I wish she.d bloody watch it to give me a bit of peace

cocolepew Sun 21-Apr-13 17:52:52

I hate it when people say 'climbing into bed for cuddles'. Or 'snuggled on the sofa'.
Just though I'd share.

everlong Sun 21-Apr-13 18:19:24

<<nods at coco>>

Bunbaker Sun 21-Apr-13 18:31:33

"some kids can watch a lot and still have the energy and enthusiasm to draw, play and whatever else we did when there wasn't 24/7 telly"

That sounds like DD. She loves having the TV on, but often does stuff while it is on. She is very creative and her art teacher at school has just told her that the last homework she handed in was the best in her year at school (her art teacher teaches 6 classes of year 8s).

I sometimes wonder if she has the TV on for company because she is an only child and doesn't like sitting in silence.

OP is definitely Smug McSmug of Smugness Hill.

Some days we watch TV all day, some days we don't. DS1 is a confident, intelligent, sociable 3yo despite the TV's evil influence.

We all do things differently, and I don't personally think anything you enjoy doing that makes you feel happy/relaxed etc is ever a waste of time.

imour Sun 21-Apr-13 19:10:12

sounds like you both lead a very busy life , too busy maybe , people like to chill and watch tv ,surprised you had time to post this !

BrittaPie Sun 21-Apr-13 19:20:09

Mine hardly watch tv - the only time is when I need to put them on "pause" for a minute - usually if they are pestering me while I am doing something unavoidable, or if they are really tired or ill, or for a weekend treat. Maybe one film a week, and about three separate bursts of about half an hour on cbeebies.

I agree that there just isn't time for 3 hours on a school day - we get home somewhere between 3 and 4, then there is faffing about getting into normal clothes chatting about the day etc, then an hour or so playing either out (if it isn't raining) or in, then teatime/homework/activity, then a burst of playing, maybe a bath, get ready for bed, reading time, lights out at 7:30. Even with no playing, that only makes about two hours.

In the morning, we wake up at 7, have half an hour in my bed sleeping chatting, half an hour for breakfast, half an hour to get dressed, do hair, find reading books, then out of the door. So no time there either.

Snog Sun 21-Apr-13 19:20:28

Several of my cousins were brought up in no TV households which was an experience that alienated them from their peers once they were at school.

Equally watching a lot of TV is bad for kids on so many levels imo.

There is a happy medium though!

BrittaPie Sun 21-Apr-13 19:20:42

No smugness here - it isn't like they are composing piano concertos. They are just being 6 and 3.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sun 21-Apr-13 19:24:30

Did I read that right? the OP has a nanny?

giveitago Sun 21-Apr-13 19:24:59

Franca - that IS evil!

Skellig Sun 21-Apr-13 19:47:51

All I know I learn from telly.
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man.
You can tell from my big telly
What a very clever fellow I am.

smile

crashdoll Sun 21-Apr-13 19:50:40

Smug, stealth boast and TV bashing in one post.

HearMyRoar Sun 21-Apr-13 19:50:46

I didn't have a TV as a kid, still don't. I'm now desperately trying to remember if I was one of these awful children people keep mentioning who just went round friends to watch their TV. confused

Though dd will be OK thankfully as even without a TV she watches at least 1 or 2 episodes of bagpuss (she's only 1 and addicted) a day and a horrible histories every week (OK so that's mainly for me). Thank heavens for iPlayer grin

IntheFrame Sun 21-Apr-13 19:57:52

ChocsAwayInMyGob

No, op IS a nanny.

In my experience that is enough to make you put your own in front of the TV most of the time.

Bunbaker Sun 21-Apr-13 20:02:20

We grew up without a TV because my mum thought they were a "Bad Thing". I hated it when all the other kids at school talked about what they had seen on TV the previous evening/weekend, and yes, we were made to feel a bit odd.

We eventually got one when I was in my last year at primary school and of course, my sister and I were glued to it when children's TV was on. In those days there was Watch With Mother for about 20 minutes at lunchtime and about two hours between 4 and 6pm on weekdays and that was it. Saturday afternoons had sport on all three channels - yes only three channels, I am that old.

crashdoll Sun 21-Apr-13 20:11:13

I was a nanny. Not one of the families I worked for were particularly fussed about me letting their child watch TV. In fact, they all suggested it. Many children, particularly under 5s, get cranky being entertained all day and just want 20 mins to sing along to Cbeebies. It's not a waste, it's how they relax. I relax on the laptop or reading. Relaxing is never a waste of time! smile

Naebother Sun 21-Apr-13 20:47:29

Yabu of course.

Cbeebies is fantastically well made tv especially for under 6s.

Why would you not take advantage of that resource?

maillotjaune Sun 21-Apr-13 21:36:39

Horrible Histories got DS2 interested in history. He now reads loads more than he used to as he has found a topic he is interested in (he's less keen on reading fiction).

DS3 has been playing 'penguins' a lot since watching some of the Spy In The Huddle documentaries. He has chosen books about penguins from the library too, and renewed his interest in Octonauts as a result.

DS1 can hardly take his nose out of a book long enough to look at TV.

None of this is glazed eyed snack shovelling couch potato stuff is it? Just a part of their lives - education in part yes, but equally important entertainment and relaxation. Lighten up a bit and I won't bother to comment on your late bedtimewink wink

Astr0naut Sun 21-Apr-13 21:51:00

DS has one off Cbeebies a bit lately, although when he bounds in to our bedroom at 6 am every fucking weekend, it goes on. Dh has also got him into Power Rangers and Batman somethign or other

He now wants to play Angry Birds on my phone all the time instead.

He's 3. I should probably know better, but he enjoys it and there's only so much swimming, playing in tents, baking and standing joylessly outside for 3 hours while he plays with his mates in the close, that an adult should be expected to cope with.

DD (18 months) will not be learning to play Angry Birds, as I cannot cope with the arguing.

Astr0naut Sun 21-Apr-13 21:51:45

That's 'gone off' and 'somethign' in case anyone thinks an 80's childhood of He-man and Dogtanian have done for my education.

LeepyTime Sun 21-Apr-13 21:55:06

I think everyone is missing the OPs point, which I think is that the time when her daughter should be spending quality time with her father, she seems to just be watching tv. So it massively decreases their interaction time together, talking about their lives etc. I know they can still talk, but with half an ear/eye on the tv it just isn't the same as undivided attention.
I see no harm in some tv, and a cosy up on the couch, but if it is the only thing they do then the dad is missing out on a lot of richness in her life, enjoying other activities with her etc.

shallweshop Sun 21-Apr-13 22:00:03

My two DC love to do all the things your child does but they also like relaxing and watching a bit of tv too. It's not a waste of life its a part of life.

shallweshop Sun 21-Apr-13 22:04:52

Leepy - maybe that is the point of the OP's post but it doesn't really come across like that as she just goes into so much detail about what she does with her DD and doesn't refer to what the father does but says 'I don't understand where people find the time for it'.

wonderingagain Sun 21-Apr-13 22:06:30

5 films in 2 days is too much. That is your issue isn't it?

theweekendisnear Sun 21-Apr-13 22:09:43

I completely agree with you, OP. I admire you and your energy.

However, for my own benefit, my DC are allowed to watch TV for a limited amount of time a day (about one hour), but sometimes there isn't time even for that. I think that some programs are quite good ( horrible histories, bang goes the theory, some history programs on vikings, romans, egyptians - my DC are 11 and 8)

However, I agree with you that sometime it's too easy to leave the TV on so the kids are entertained with it for hours.

I hated having to pay the childminder lots of money and knowing that my DC would be watching TV for quite some time , starting from the morning. My son loved it, so it made dropping off at the childminder very easy and with no tears, but I really didnt like the childminder having the TV on at 8 in the morning. We didnt need childminding for many weeks, so I didnt try to find a different childminder.

GladbagsGold Sun 21-Apr-13 22:10:57

Why don't you ask your ex to switch off the TV set, and do something less boring instead, why don't you?

yaimee Sun 21-Apr-13 22:11:51

If that were the only point of the ops post then why did she include the list of activities? It definitely comes across as a not very stealthy boast!

Jinty64 Sun 21-Apr-13 22:13:05

forevergreek after being at breakfast club, school and after school club from 8am-6pm my ds has as much desire to cook as I do. Fortunately, for him, it's optional.

shockers Sun 21-Apr-13 22:25:33

gladbags... you must be as old as me grin.

We, as a family, watched more TV and DVDs when the children were younger. They never really watched on their own.

Now they're older, the TV is probably on for 3/4 hours during the evening at weekends, and a couple of hours on week nights for DH and me. This is only because we have little time to sit down together like we used to.

That said, we do watch more in winter than in summer.

and we never miss Casualty if we can help it

IntheFrame Sun 21-Apr-13 22:31:46

But the op doesn't do that much!! Most of it is extra curricular or walking.Not sure what the father is supposed to do really - TV is the only thing her DD doesn't do with mummy.

McNewPants2013 Sun 21-Apr-13 22:41:07

TV is my saviour, if the TV blew up i would sell my dishwasher to get a new one.

you see my DS wouldnt fit in with your family, because the only thing that means i get time to cook and clean and spend time with DD is to put on the tv. DS is has austism and that is one of the few things that keeps him on 1 task long enough for me to do it

hairtearing Sun 21-Apr-13 22:43:37

What about kids who don't have gardens and live in rough areas?

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 22:44:43

Firstly - I don't have a nanny, I am a nanny for a 2 and 3 year old.
If you reckon 'my poor DD' is so worn out on contact weekends which is which she watches so much TV, why is it that on my weekends she has a million things she wants to do - none of which arewatching TV? Also when she's gone 6-8 weeks between contact because ex was away she hasn't crashed and burned from lack of TV.
Regarding bedtime: she gets 11 hours sleep which is plenty for her age.

5318008 Sun 21-Apr-13 22:52:07

all of this flim flam about I do this with her and I do that with her - the issue is that her father cba to do owt himself, isn't it

5 DVDs over a weekend is four too many

YANBU

theweekendisnear Sun 21-Apr-13 22:54:41

And, I don't understand why the children are watching films while at holiday club, during school breaks, or at school during school time. I understand if it's a film on a topic that will be discussed, but most of the time it is to fill half an hour, and the children do not even get to see the whole movie, which must be annoying for the kids.

I do however recognise the goodness of a dvd on the way back from a school trip, on the coach, when the children are exhausted.

IntheFrame Sun 21-Apr-13 22:56:16

But op you are a nanny and therefore have a skills set and resources that match that. He is a part time father that probably hasn't a clue how to entertain a small child or any inclination to do drawing/painting/dressing up. He may be rubbish at childcare but there you go.

McNewPants2013 Sun 21-Apr-13 22:56:49

but why an arange dvd last approx 1hour 30 minutes which is 7.5 hours out of 48 hours which leaves 18.5 hours. ( taken out 22 hours for sleep)

McNewPants2013 Sun 21-Apr-13 22:57:45

so OP what is your DD doing for these 18.5 hours

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Sun 21-Apr-13 22:59:58

Ok op, you are Practically Perfect in Every Way, your ex may not be. (Different standards).

Is that what you wanted from this thread?

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:01:29

Yes I do think her father lets her watch way too much - they watch a film while having breakfast and tea which are two of the best times for just chatting in my opinion. He seems to think like some posters here that he can't shower/cook etc without DD in front of TV. On weekdays I shower before she wakes but at weekends/in holidays she usually plays with her dolls house/prepares a Teddy bear tea party and helps with cooking while DD2 is in her bouncer.

formicaqueen Sun 21-Apr-13 23:02:51

Thankfully like some other kids we know, my kids have minimal screen time. In total they have between three and four hours a week. They sometimes spend a little screen time doing activities on the wii, sometimes watch a film (with popcorn !!) and then occasionally some nature programme on Iplayer. We gave up our TV licence soon after watching a couple of episodes of Tracy Beaker and other kiddie trash. Also I couldn't watch even one more episode of come dine with me!!

As a child we watched TONS of TV and I remember I felt life was slipping way, meaningless and boring. Obviously there are some very interesting things to watch these days but we don't get round to watching it all - only the best bits. Also we can't afford tons of after school activities, only a couple each.

If they are exhausted we might stick a film on or they might cuddle up and read a book. If we are ill, the TV is on till I want to throw a brick at it!!

McNewPants2013 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:04:05

Ok amykins, So as a nanny what do you suggest I do with ds while i cook and clean and spend time with DD

tvmum1976 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:05:37

i was hardly allowed any TV as a young kid and feel I missed out a lot. Missing lots of cultural references my friends have- tons of gaps in my popular culture knowledge etc.

ExRatty Sun 21-Apr-13 23:06:54

I like children's tv.
My current favorites are New Ben and Holly and Phineus and Ferb.
I hate bloody Art Attack and would have it blocked if I could as it is the source of much blardy hateful crafting and art.

I think you D will enjoy both styles of parenting she receives. It is nice that she gets to do both

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:07:00

4 of those 18.5 hours are traveling time when she plays on his iPhone. She goes to her grandparents most Sundays

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:09:23

NewPants - how old are your children?

IntheFrame Sun 21-Apr-13 23:12:17

So he has a doll's house and a tea set complete with dolls/teddies does he. I don't know your ex's circumstances but most ex's I know have a pretty un child friendly home where they work, eat and watch TV. It's fairly standard if you don't have children 24/7.
Yes he could do more interactive stuff but your whole life is children whereas I expect he really doesn't have a clue/any interest. I have lots of girlfriends that don' t have children and although they are lovely have no idea how to entertain my DS because it's not what they do.

McNewPants2013 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:12:27

ds is 7 ( well in a few weeks) and dd is 3 years 10months.

I do 1/2 agree with you that TV shouldn't be the only option of entertainment but i do struggle.

DS is a danger to himself, he doesn't see danger

DebsMorgan Sun 21-Apr-13 23:16:14

My children all enjoy watching tv, they sit together, laugh at what they are watching, chat about it and often play games based around it too. They are lively, happy and well adjusted children who all enjoy school, playing with friends, all sorts of outside activities and love snuggling up with me and dh to watch a good film together. Suits us and seems not to have wasted any of their lives so far.
Lovely that your family don't see the need for tv, op but ours isn't a need it is a choice smile

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:16:35

Intheframe - he has a child so he needs to get a clue and take an interest. She is perfectly capable of telling him what she wants to do but he fobs her off telling her that there isn't enough time when actually he's too lazy

McNewPants2013 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:19:13

I don't think the tv is the problem, but that lack of interaction.

DebsMorgan Sun 21-Apr-13 23:20:13

I should add, we have five children aged between 23 months and nine. Actually the elder three also spend lots of time with dh in his studio and love helping him and creating their own short films [dh works in post production] so not only do they watch TV they also create it wink

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:20:19

Debs - it is healthy when it's a choice but it disturbs me that so many people see it as a necessity and couldn't cope without it. It makes me sad to think of DD sitting on her own in her room watching TV while he has friends over etc. Here she talks about the film and asks questions from beginning to end!

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 23:25:09

I didn't have tv much when I was young (mum v. strict and would have been horrified if I had watched Grange Hill, for example) and anything I did watch was monitored and it was turned off after an hour or so.
I used to LOVE going to my dad's and have him take me to the video shop to select a couple of movies! I could go back to school and actually talk about something 'fashionable' - it helps children bond.
I also thought I would not be a tv person with DD but she loves Peppa Pig so we have a few DVD's of that and Maisy. She loves CBeebies and I have also found it teaches her lots - she picked up counting from watching about 3 episodes of Numtums! I don't have it on all of the time, as we are also out most days, but having tea with home made biccies (we do activities too ya see), MN on laptop while she watches Abney & Teal in the evenings has become a bit of a routine!

Plomino Sun 21-Apr-13 23:26:03

My name is plomino and my 5 children are tv watchers . So sue me . Your 5 yr old and your baby aren't . How lovely for you .

This weekend I have : cooked and iced 50 fairy cakes with DS4 and DD2 , walked greyhounds with Ds1 and DS 3 , and discussed the operational policing strategy of Boston contrasted with the response of london's Met Police in the July bombings in 2005 with DS2 .

We have also watched every episode of the Simpsons since they began and it is now a) a family tradition and b) often starts a family wide giggle as we are not unconvinced that we are in fact , the Simpsons.

Furthermore , DS3 loves Nigella . He often curls up next to me when he's not well saying ' I come watch Nigella wit yooooo ' , and then lays there with a dreamy look on his face .

He may get that from watching with his grandad though ..

Does other people's tv watching proclivities affect you ? Not in the slightest . So let them be . You can carry on doing whatever amazing things you like , and she'll be exactly the same as everyone else at 15 . Stroppy , monosyllabic , and glued to her phone . Same as my pfb , who did the whole organic cake making , musical toddler art group Montessori route.

As you said , the days are warming up . Maybe her dad might do as you have done , and change his routine to take account of the warmer weather.

serin Sun 21-Apr-13 23:27:17

Amy, my DC's love rock climbing, kayaking (they have their own) camping, surfing, sailing, they all play instuments, can name most British Birds, Moths and Mammals.........

But I have never met kids that have watched as much telly as them!

They totally love it, they watch Merlin and Harry Potter on a loop and can still remember every song from Horrible Histories!

DD takes her GCSE's soon, she is predicted 13, none less than an A.

My point is, they need down time.

I personally would be more worried about the level of emissions your daughter is ingesting on that congested walk to school than on her level of TV consumption.

Amykins35 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:28:45

I'm sorry but I disagree with the whole 'she must watch it or won't fit in at school' thing. When she tells her friends what she's been doing they ask if they can come do it too - they don't berate her for not having watched Peppa Pig like them

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 23:31:19

I just wanted to tell you my experience as your set up sounds very like mine as a child. That is all.

SirBoobAlot Sun 21-Apr-13 23:33:19

TV or music on here constantly for background noise. DS tends to choose which. Doesn't mean that's all he's paying attention to, doesn't mean that's all we do. But he's similar to me in that he likes some kind of noise going on. We do plenty of other things. <shrugs>

carriedawayannie Sun 21-Apr-13 23:37:09

She may not be berated by her peers but as she gets older she will begin to feel left out.

I speak from experience.

McNewPants2013 Sun 21-Apr-13 23:40:52

the main topic at work is BCT, Xfactor, CDWM.

DS friends play power rangers and ninja turtles.
DD friends play peppa pig and ben and hollie little kingdom.

expatinscotland Sun 21-Apr-13 23:47:05

What Tee said.

Mine watch TV and play on the laptop. We even listen to crap pop music in the car. We also watch The Voice and Britain's Got Talent.

We are chavs of the highest order.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 22-Apr-13 00:02:26

Yes,we all parent differently. I have my telly on as background noise, ds has one in his bedroom and watches all the teen things.
Each to their own, and I watch BGT grin.
I never understand why those who don't approve of TV think they're such superior parents.

OhDearNigel Mon 22-Apr-13 00:05:36

She may not be berated by her peers but as she gets older she will begin to feel left out. I speak from experience

Likewise. I was always the odd one without a TV. I could never join in discussions about Going Live or Neighbours or whatever. As soon as I left home I spent most of my time watching the TV. My parents never let me eat junk food either, when I went to university I existed on a diet of McDonalds.

Moderation, moderation, moderation

OhDearNigel Mon 22-Apr-13 00:07:24

And OP, it won't bother her at the moment. She's only 5. When she begins to be of the age where the most important thing in your life is to stand out as little as humanly possible it is likely to bother her a whole lot more

iclaudius Mon 22-Apr-13 00:08:24

kids are all watching different stuff these days - i dont buy that 'left out the chat' argument. everyone has 50 different channels

i'm yet to meet a teenparent who wins the 'moderation' argument. they are few and far between

princessnumber2 Mon 22-Apr-13 00:09:09

I'd be quite interested to know if people with school-aged children with early bedtimes really watch 3 hours of tv a day? We don't get in from school till 4 and my eldest is usually asleep around 7. Is it in the morning? My eldest is up at 7 and we all just seem to run around the house till everyone's ready. If she was up at 5 or 6 I have a feeling she'd watch more DVDs... grin

I was a bit strict about TV when she was tiny. I've relaxed a lot as she's got older but she's not that interested in it. I think 5 films in a weekend does sound like a lot - and I was brought up on a solid diet of processed food in front of the telly. I did no activities at all (apart from playing out in the street). In fact, did they even have activities in the 70s and 80s?

Also I have abandoned baking with dd1 as she can't be arsed to do any of it and after she has said 'can I lick the bowl yet?' for the 50th time, I just end up snapping 'OH JUST GO AND WATCH GRANDPA IN MY POCKET!'

cory Mon 22-Apr-13 00:13:20

I wasn't berated by my peers much and I certainly had a lovely happy childhood, but I have often felt as an adult how much I missed out because I was so completely kept away from popular culture and (as I grew older) from any real knowledge of current events and confined to knowledge that my parents considered worthwhile. I didn't mind being different from other people, but I did mind feeling uneducated.

pigletmania Mon 22-Apr-13 01:15:04

Amy you sound quite sef righteous tbh. It's none if your business and no I could not cope without it especially in the school hold as when you cannot keep your Chidren entertained for every miniute of the day whist trying to keep the house tdy and cook the food. My dd as asd and sometimes a favourite tv programme can calm her down and prevent a full scale meltdown.

pigletmania Mon 22-Apr-13 01:15:49

Meant during te school holidays

Bunbaker Mon 22-Apr-13 06:51:48

"And, I don't understand why the children are watching films while at holiday club, during school breaks, or at school during school time."

DD's old primary school used to put a film on when the weather was too wet for the children to go outside. The main hall was used for eating in and there was nowhere else for the children to go.

Tee2072 Mon 22-Apr-13 07:28:44

Expat the part where the OP should get her beak out of how I raise my children or the part where I did my not so stealth and total lie post?

grin

Yonilovesboni Mon 22-Apr-13 07:41:51

Peppa pig is on all day everyday in this house. OP you are smug and jugdy ok. Pdfo grin

What I don't understand is exactly when it was decided that every minute of a child's life has to be filled with doing something

OP just out of curiousity, is every minute of your life spent doing something? Do you never flop down on the sofa and watch tv or mumsnet?

It's not about children being unable to entertain themselves. Sometimes you don't want to do anything.

And-exactly what tee said grin

It's lovely for you if you want your 5 year old to be doing after school activities every night. Some parents think that's too much.

I don't think people need to post exactly what they do every day in order to justify what amazing parents with such busy schedules and worthy activities we have.

Well, I don't. Because it wouldn't be very interesting tbh.
I don't plan out every minute of the day.

ExRatty Mon 22-Apr-13 09:17:24

mine get in from school at about 2.30.
For about an hour they do whatever they want. That can be anything from playing reading writing drawing or watching television. It depends what they want to do to be honest
Then we do some school work and play some games
Then tea and about 30 mins of television or play depends what they want
to do and then baths stories etc and bed

that could be 11/2 hours of tv a day. i'm fine with that

Margetts Mon 22-Apr-13 09:34:15

I try and limit what my children watch on television, but there are some really fab programmes. Some of the animal one like Barneys Latin America and Deadly 60 are really good.
I record some programmes as they are never on when we can watch them, but they love then along with things like Shaun the Sheep.
When I'm tired I relax watching television as so do my children and I think there is nothing wrong wit it asking as it isn't all day everyday

CoffeeChocolateWine Mon 22-Apr-13 10:01:59

I don't know where to start with this...

Are you serious that you don't know how kids have time to watch TV? I think you'll find the average 5 year old does not have after school activities every day of the week...and until 6pm??? Your daughter must be exhausted! Two after school clubs is plenty! But in honesty you are no better than parents that do let their kids watch a bit TV...some parents use TV as a "babysitter", you use after school clubs as a babysitter. Children, especially 5 year olds, need time to unwind after 6 hours of school. Time to switch off, give their brain a rest and recharge their batteries. I think your schedule is ridiculous. And 8.45 is too late for bedtime.

My guess is your DD has no idea how to entertain herself as you always have an activity planned for her. She goes round to her dad's and she realises that he hasn't organised cake baking, he doesn't have chickens and she doesn't know what to do with herself. Dad also didn't think to book a synchronised swimming class in the morning and a junior judo class in the afternoon and is baffled by the fact that she doesn't know how to play outside by herself playing hopscotch on the patio or skipping with a skipping rope because mummy has never included it in her schedule. Ok so maybe he could take her to a park or something but the weather has been awful and some people like to chill out at home at weekends. So he puts the TV on. Yes, 5 films in one weekend is too much but I'll put money on the fact that it's an exaggeration.

Seriously where's her time to play? Not colouring or painting...that's just another activity you've arranged for her. I'm talking about imaginative play...dressing up, playing by herself with her dolls. You don't have to fill every minute of every day for her. Allow her some time to explore her imagination and entertain herself. Even you weekends...dancing in the morning, swimming in the afternoon. I'm all for giving children opportunities to discover passions, but to have something every day of the week and weekends is ridiculous. You sound like you are scared of the prospect of having a bored child on your hands.

Amykins35 Mon 22-Apr-13 10:02:26

Tantrums - I watch TV or mumsnet when baby is sleeping on me, otherwise I would rather be doing something better with my time. It's personal preference I guess and my preference for my child is to not watch TV because it turns her into a moody zombie and I would rather she be just play as she's out at school/activities so much she and I like to mak the most of playing when she's at home

Amykins35 Mon 22-Apr-13 10:09:26

Coffee: you're very presumptuous. Actually her favourite play is imaginative hence why she has teddy bears tea parties, dresses up, plays in her tent, with her dolls house etc. she is more than capable of playing by herself indoors and out. She has activities 4 days per week, they last an hour maximum so she has time to play before/after activity which end at 6pm. I don't use after school clubs as a babysitter, I'm there too watching when it'd be far easier to be at home with both children than trying to entertain baby while DD does her activity. 8.45 is not too late for bedtime considering the time she wakes - 11 hours sleep is plenty. She asks to go swimming every weekend - it's 2 hours out of an entire weekend - not spending the entire weekend doing activities

Eeeeeowwwfftz Mon 22-Apr-13 10:11:29

As one of the "TV on while I'm in the shower" offenders, if I were to do what the op does I would have to get up at 4.30 am to make sure it happened while our 2yo was asleep. (And today that would have been an hour too late). Maybe the 10 mins of Cloudbabies is what's making him push books into our hands all day and ask us to read them to him. But all thae stupid stories about talking animals! What rot! I should be using the time to do something worthwhile like teach him how to read music instead.

For what it's worth op I do think five films at the weekend is ott. But this sounds like a discussion you need to have with your ex. Not us.

Amykins35 Mon 22-Apr-13 10:14:36

I've spoken to him, he doesn't see the issue. Nor with letting her eat an entire tube of Pringles while watching said films but then he is obese and lazy so it's Normal for him

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 22-Apr-13 10:15:14

8.45pm is your 5 year old's bed time?

Well, put a different face on, OP because you can't be wearing your smug one when your kid doesn't get to sleep until almost 9 at night.

She must be knackered after doing all the things your force her to do and them making her stay up that late. Poor little thing. sad

Amykins35 Mon 22-Apr-13 10:25:17

Oh my goodness. The time she goes to bed is irrelevant - it's the amount of sleep she gets that's important. She gets 11 hours which is plenty for a child of her age. She is never tired at school and even at bedtime she's rarely tired and would happily stay up much later if I allowed her to. I don't bloody 'force' her to do things or 'make' her stay up late. I don't know about other people's 5 year olds but mine has a mind of her own - if she didn't want to do an activity she wouldn't do. If she was tired shed say so and go to bed.

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 22-Apr-13 10:32:25

I think it is relevant. You're over-stimulating her,too. Which is probably why she is wired and not tired at a normal bedtime (you're saying she would stay up later. Mine is ready for bed at 7 and sleeps until 7) You can over-stimulate without a television.

Who makes the choices for her to go to every after-school club going? Does she sign herself up?

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 22-Apr-13 10:34:11

"I've spoken to him, he doesn't see the issue. Nor with letting her eat an entire tube of Pringles while watching said films but then he is obese and lazy so it's Normal for him"

He sounds more fun than you though, tbf.

The weekend: when most people kick back a bit and relax (and maybe eat a few treats too, if you're feeling really crazy) Don't you think your daughter deserves to have some down-time and a few treats? She deserves it and probably needs it, with the very crammed life she leads.

My DS1 is 14. He does 4 activities after school and 2 at the weekend. His choice.By Thursday he is very tired and spends his free time laying on his bed watching films on his Ipad. I cant imagine how tired a 4 year old must be.

MyDarlingClementine Mon 22-Apr-13 10:41:46

I think with the schedule you have for your DD which rightly or wrongly is packed with lots of different things, its a nice change - different in itself for your DD to relax and watch films with your ex.

I think its healthy actually for one parent to be different to the other, if you are so against telly I think its healthy for her dad to be pro telly.

FWIW I adored films when I was little, I adore films now, and I think they have their place. As for other TV, most of her friends will be watching it and its a strong topic of conversation amongst peers.

Relax, she is doing far more than most 5 year olds.

Obviously you have found the activities for her, I doubt she did the research, found the club and took herself there did she?

Sometimes 4 year olds just need to be 4. and sometimes that includes watching tv and eating Pringles.

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 22-Apr-13 10:46:58

Does she do Kumon maths, OP? Please say she does.

JedwardScissorhands Mon 22-Apr-13 10:51:55

YABU.

Agree with coffee, you do seem to use clubs as a baby sitter. Yes you might be there, but that isn't the same as just relaxing together at home. Some people do that watching TV, some don't.

I would say that, rather like Theodora, my fondest memories are of a spot of Will O' The Wisp, but definitely with a viscount biscuit!

livinginwonderland Mon 22-Apr-13 11:05:27

you say it doesn't bother her, and it won't now. she's five. but when she gets older, she will feel left out if you don't let her watch tv.

my dad was very strict with regards to the TV - i never watched soaps. i was never allowed to watch the simpsons until i was about sixteen (i'm only 24 so it's not like it was some new programme when i was growing up), and he was also very strict with regards to junk food and drinking fizzy drinks.

i hated it as a teen because i felt so left out - i couldn't join in with regular conversations and i couldn't even talk about trying new things at mcdonalds or anything, which is pretty important when you're thirteen! when i left home at 18, i lived on a diet of junk, a lot of mcdonalds and diet coke became my addiction. kids needs everything in moderation. banning things like TV outright never benefitted anyone.

I wish my youngest two would watch the bloody telly sometimes. They are totally not interested in it (believe me I have tried grin). They are five and two and I really do wish they would go and watch it when I'm cooking dinner, they will not leave me alone and I get so stressed.

But then I don't watch a lot of telly either, I just can't be arsed, I can never find the tv controller anyway.

My 5 and 2 year old are rarely asleep by 9. I have tried to get her to sleep earlier but no go. They are in bed but are awake but luckily both sleep in till gone eight am grin

My oldest two were always asleep by seven and awake by five am. Crappy sky movie films were a godsend at that time of the morning.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Mon 22-Apr-13 11:18:23

I've got it!

You are aspiring to be Gwyneth Paltrow, aren't you, aren't you?

Why did you have a child with such a lazy, obese Pringles munching monstrosity btw?

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Mon 22-Apr-13 11:25:43

It is all a waste of time though really isn't it? In a couple of hundred years the bears from the picnics will be dust, nobody will know or care how well your DD could swim, the cupcakes, again, lost in time. Ben and Holly are just the same, a short footnote perhaps in a local history book mentioning Paultons Park, if they are lucky.

What does any of it matter? Why do we even bother doing anything? Even if you create, art, write, a masterpiece, a classic, nobody will really understand you or know you once you are dead, because they will be interpreting your work through their own experiences. We just get lost. God, why did you have to start this thread? I am never leaving the house again. That's it.

FreedomOfTheTess Mon 22-Apr-13 11:28:11

Gwyneth - is that you?!

iclaudius Mon 22-Apr-13 11:33:02

It's always seen as an open field to mock and jeer on these threads

I happen to agree with the op but if I didn't I wouldn't question her choices nor call her smug

If it were cultural differences the jibes and digs would be seen as racist

Horses for courses in my book

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Mon 22-Apr-13 11:34:37

Ooh I loves a bit of existentialism of a Monday Orange. grin

squoosh Mon 22-Apr-13 11:37:21

'If it were cultural differences the jibes and digs would be seen as racist'

hmm hmm hmm

Ummm, but it's not cultural differences, so it isn't racism. What's next, someone admits to not liking tea and it being compared to not liking Chinese people.

<waits patiently for someone to mention the Nazis>

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 22-Apr-13 11:37:59

How on earth can you equate this to racism iclaudius?
It was the op that seems to think her parenting is superior, and the telly watchers coming on to defend it.
What a silly post.

flangledoodle Mon 22-Apr-13 11:38:11

Nazis smile

squoosh Mon 22-Apr-13 11:42:08

Thanks flangle! wink

flangledoodle Mon 22-Apr-13 11:44:31

Welcome

infamouspoo Mon 22-Apr-13 11:44:39

why dont you pay for your ex to have a nanny too? Then he too could be super mum. Heck, I could be super-mum with a nanny. Rather than haggard knackered mum.
But I'm going to be smug that eldest got a job at the Beeb before she goes to work in NYC in theatre land. All down to telly so <sticky out tongue>

squoosh Mon 22-Apr-13 11:45:36

I think the OP is a nanny not has a nanny.

That's how I read it anyway.

Is it not possible to have a debate anymore without the word racist thrown in?

It makes a mockery of actual racism you know, to say stupid things like that.

iclaudius Mon 22-Apr-13 11:46:24

Lady beagle read what I put

It's just a different lifestyle choice - why laugh at someone because you don't agree with what they do?

I don't see how it makes her smug - just different

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 22-Apr-13 11:47:54

But she is smug.
Her entire op was a stealth boast.

Jaysus Orange, a bit existential for a Monday morning?

I totally agree with you though, very nicely put smile

I think it's a bit narrow to be so opposed to TELEVISION completely, when it's just a medium at the end of the day -- a tool, like radio, like the phone, something to transmit content.

To say all the content ever shown on TV is a waste of time is really not using your imagination.

I grew up poor in dodgy cities, no green space, no beaches, etc -- would I really have been better off baking cupcakes than watching something like David Attenborough, and learning about the whole wide world?

My parents were really into politics and so I watched probably far too much TV news when I was young (really, I don't know what they were thinking). But this sparked my fascination in politics and foreign policy -- I did my BA in international relations, then worked in the field, now finishing my PhD. I certainly don't regret not having teddy bear picnics.

So YANBU to restrict TV for your own child if you want, but to say that it's a waste of time for all kids is really narrow-minded.

jaabaar Mon 22-Apr-13 11:56:23

Majabiene!

U just reminded me of Beene maja cartoons on tv! R u swiss by any chance?

SlimFitWellies Mon 22-Apr-13 12:05:57

I was going to go out for lunch until I read orange's post.

Now I need to go lie down in a darkened room.

Loving the op describing her ex as an obese waster well you clearly found him attractive and appealing enough to shag at some point so maybe your choices aren't always as perfect as you think.

grumpyinthemorning Mon 22-Apr-13 12:22:59

We always have tv\radio on in my house, I can't stand silence. It actually helped ds talk, he wouldn't copy us but repeats everything mr tumble says. That said, he barely glances at the tv most of the time, it's more for me than him.

Currently having my ds-free day (he goes to his grandma on mondays). Have just finished housework, so settling down to watch Cool Runnings while I eat my lunch smile

pigletmania Mon 22-Apr-13 12:28:11

It's not that op holds a different view, her posts are as smug as hell, that because her dd does not watch tv in te day, tat she has every miniute of the day planned out, the tv watching brigade are just lazy slatterns. Op is looking down her nose at people, well she has no idea how other people lives are like. Mabey not now op, but when your dd is od enough to know her own mind you might find her reselling at your anti tv ways

DontSHOUTTTTTT Mon 22-Apr-13 12:28:48

grin orange

infamouspoo Mon 22-Apr-13 12:37:26

The OP has a nanny to help with all these worthy things and to entertai the child while she makes tea.

BearsDontDigOnDancing Mon 22-Apr-13 12:40:57

My kids watch tv...

We have a laptop connected to the TV and my 5 year old can navigate from reading eggs, to the cbeebies site (where he likes to play the games)to the nick jnr site, to the iplayer, and then log on sky go and watch tv via that! Quite impressive.

He has this morning spent some time googling different types of whales and sea creatures so he can then sing a "creature report" to me and tell me all about the animal he has found. I believe this came from The Octonauts.

They have free reign tbh, they put on the laptop when they want, and play games, or watch a cartoon. I have a 5 and a 3 year old who are not at school yet.

They are currently running around playing at My Little Pony (seriously, watch the new series, it is quite good...more often than not we put it on for the kids, they wander off and me and dh have stopped what we are doing to sit and watch it)

Oh and in the time i have written that Ds is now a Manta Ray! (again from Octonauts) and dd is a Rabbit! And they are apparently racing. I think the Bunny won.

squoosh Mon 22-Apr-13 12:48:22

I thinks she is a nanny.

OP can you confirm whether you are a nanny or have a nanny.

UniS Mon 22-Apr-13 12:49:38

YABU

Too MUCH TV may be a waste of time. Some TV may be a worthwhile part of a childs life. By TV I include DVDs, Web sites and other moving image media.

We live in a rural area, a rather mono cultural area. "TV" is one way that DS comes across people of different skin colour , language, acent, cultures, faiths etc and sees that children from "other places" are children like him, life’s may be different but there are also similarities.

Using a story CD to occupy a child is no different really to using "TV" to occupy a child. What matters is content more than media.

FWIW- we don't have a TV, but DS does use a PC to access CBBC and games under light supervision. Together as a family we might use the PC to access other sites- follow a sports event or find out about a subject for school work.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 22-Apr-13 12:50:57

Op has already confirmed she is a nanny.

MERLYPUSS Mon 22-Apr-13 13:04:19

I knew this would kick off.
TV saved (and our family)my life when DT2 was waking at 4.30. Good old baby tv or whatever stopped him screaming the house down so everyone else could sleep (including me on the sofa with him).
Now our watch kids crap and other crap like you've been framed, discovery animal progs and BGT.

Dryjuice25 Mon 22-Apr-13 13:06:22

OrangeFootedScrubfowl what?? confused
That is the most depressing post I ever read. Are you ok?

Mydarlingclementine You have saved me from so much anger. I think now I can relax and let my kids eat too much junk food, watch too much telly and play endless games at their dads without dying inside at the thought of it. He doesn't have a single book at his which I think is a shame. Offer of books was aggressively refused! My own parenting style is too stringent and biased towards less telly, ten of your 5-a-day inspired home meals, and little telly and not playing with neighbours kids because they swear a lot! . I was getting really down because of this but your post has made me reflect. Thanks a lot.

Op 9.45 is too late for bedtime.

You do sound regimented like me and we do need to relax a bit I think though I have to say I'm personally driven by the fear of being a bad parent. Thanks dad! But I do admire you for doing what you believe to be right for your dd. It's hardly child abuse is it? I know you mean well. Most of us do. But it's difficult to get it exactly right. We try. And we keep on trying. We just want to do what we profoundly believe to be the best. All of us.

Shinigami Mon 22-Apr-13 13:10:28

The episode of Doctor Who with Maureen Lipman as the evil TV was on this morning grin

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Mon 22-Apr-13 13:24:07

I am Ok dryjuice, DD was asking what lasts forever the other day and I told her love.
Not mountains or seas or stars, but love.

I mean, I know it was a lie, because we'll be extinct one day. There'll be no love then. Just blank animals with their two-dimensional feelings about their simplistic interactions and maybe aliens with some weird emotions based on gaseous exchanges or a super futuristic process a bit like, er, hydroelectrics, or some shit.

But I've still got it in me to carry on and lie to 4 year olds. At the end of the day that's what's important I guess.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Mon 22-Apr-13 13:29:39

I should make that into a children's book.

What lasts forever Big nutbrown hare?

Nothing Little nutbrown hare. Nothing does. Let's lie down for a while.

The rest of the book is plain white, expansive pages.

It all depends on what tv it is whether its a waste of time.
Some programmes/films can be very educational as well as entertaining and they key to everything is balance. Tv is a good thing as long as dc are doing other stuff to, like days out to park, picnics, drawing, crafts, outdoor play, recreational activity etc. As long as your dc is doing other stuff besides watching tv, cant see a problem smile

LaQueen Mon 22-Apr-13 13:37:44

Doing activities is fun ...but a lot of TV is fun too, for DCs.

Our DDs (10 & 9) have quite a few programs that they really love, Horrible Histories being a real favourite.

When they've just put in a 6.5 hour day at school, then I'm perfectly happy for them to chill out in front of the TV until dinner.

Often they will be doing other things whilst watching TV - colouring/drawing/knitting/chatting/doing sticker books...so it's not like they're staring mindlessly at the TV, with drool running down their chins for hours on end hmm

They're both doing seriously well at school, with the reading level of your average 15 year old (very smug) ...so I don't think TV has dulled their minds in anyway smile

MyDarlingClementine Mon 22-Apr-13 14:09:34

My DD never just sits and watches either, always doing something else.

I think balance is really important. I have experience of DP's who are both on the same page and rather extreme on various things and its been too much for the DC too heavy...

I think personally its really important for them to be exposed to books, theatre, culture, sports, nature, as long as one of you is providing that, there is no problem. The opportunity exists for them to pick up interests.

ilovexmastime Mon 22-Apr-13 17:14:21

Dreamingbohemian has just said what I was going to say, ie that tv is only a medium, like books. You wouldn't ban all books from your house just because some books are shit would you?
Whenever someone tells me that they don't have a tv (normally in a smug tone) my first thought is normally: ludite.
Move with the times, let technology work for you.

Amykins35 Mon 22-Apr-13 21:50:17

I am a nanny, I do not have one.

TV isn't banned - we have one film per fortnight. We use the Ipad for nature apps etc occasionally.

balroymum Mon 22-Apr-13 22:14:14

I don't really mind what anybody else does but as you're asking : YABU and so is anyone else who makes such a sweeping generalisation of what's on all 25 million TV channels. I think they must actually watch a lot of TV if they are sooooo sure that it's all crap. Not having a TV is one of those really annoying and pointless things that people do when they want to appear somehow better than everybody else. Keep up people. God knows what you think about the evils of games consoles, the internet and mobile phones! Before I'm flamed, I know I'm being judgy but this kind of thing really gets on my nerves. It's not big, it's not clever, so stop showing off about not watching TV. Weird.

crashdoll Tue 23-Apr-13 08:02:32

"We use the Ipad for nature apps etc occasionally."

grin hahahahaha!

GirlOutNumbered Tue 23-Apr-13 08:46:00

What's a nature app?

It's an app for people like the op so they can pretend that what their little cherub does in front of a screen is EDUCATIONAL as opposed to our brats who are lazy little shirkers wasting their lives staring at screens.

LaQueen Tue 23-Apr-13 09:38:49

Does the DDs endlessly going on Minecraft, on their tablet, count as a nature app - because, when you think about it, it's almost like gardening, innit, what with all that digging and building and turfing, and stuff hmm

PoppyAmex Tue 23-Apr-13 09:46:49

And can also count as Kumon Maths too, LaQueen as it involves a lot of counting. wink

All this earnest worthiness is just ridiculous - if it wasn't so bizarre, I would think some people make certain "parenting" choices chiefly to impress strangers. But that would be weird, right?

LaQueen Tue 23-Apr-13 09:49:19

Oh... earnest worthiness ...yes, very...erm admirable [stifles yawn]

carriedawayannie Tue 23-Apr-13 10:22:59

And at when the child is a teen and glued to a screen they will wonder why they bothered ..

My dd did all of her preschool education via cbeebies.

LaQueen Tue 23-Apr-13 10:36:15

Years ago, I used to get vaguely tense when the DDs were watching TV, glued to the PC, gripping a tablet...but, once I had assured myself that their reading levels were high, then I basically just gave in, and left them to it.

And, like DH explained (and he's very tech-savvy) this really is the future for this generation.

Getting them to build with hand-carved wooden blocks...or cut out and dress paper dolls...all sounds terribly worthy, but is largely anachronistic - like getting a 1970s child to kick a pig's bladder about, rather than a plastic football.

Oblomov Tue 23-Apr-13 11:07:01

Op is motherhood perfection personified.
I'm off to share a tube of pringles with her fat lazy ex. He sounds much nicer lovely.

FoundAChopinLizt Tue 23-Apr-13 11:12:31

Orange I don't find your way of thinking depressing, quite the reverse.

Life's too important to be taken seriously.

gringringringrin

dragon

FreedomOfTheTess Tue 23-Apr-13 11:26:31

One film a fortnight?!

DS1 (13) would spontaneously combust if his TV viewing was limited to one film a fortnight. He watches several shows a week, but you know what, he also does a lot of other stuff too? He plays rugby (he's in the academy of one of the professional rugby union clubs), goes to Scouts, plays two musical instruments and even does a bit of drama. And he's often out and about with his friends, riding bikes etc.

We record the shows he likes to the V+ box, so he can catch up with them when he has some downtime, because every child needs downtime. With all my son fits in his life, I'm happy for him to have a couple of hours 'TV time' at the weekend, it makes him a relatively normal teenager!

LaQueen Tue 23-Apr-13 11:52:41

Same here freedom - our DDs watch a lot of TV, and now we have Netflix, well you can imagine...

But, DD1 represents her school at cricket and netball. DD2 goes to a weekly gymnastic club and belongs to her school dance club. They both play in a local girls cricket team on a Saturday morning - and they both play the violin.

DD1 is tipped to become her school's sports ambassador in Yr 6 - and DD2 was the youngest ever child to be elected onto the School Council.

Frankly, I think they need some TV downtime, after everything else they do.

I just fnd this perception, that if your DCs watch TV then they are automatically turning into mindless drones, incapable of doing anything else...ever so slightly bizarre (and utterly wrong in our circumstances).

Thats the thing isnt it? DS1 plays football 4 times a week at a highly competitive level, he swims for a club, does all his homework, he is a very good student.

Quite honestly I am happy to see him laying on his bed watching TV or playing PS3, he cant be busy every second of the day.

LaQueen Tue 23-Apr-13 12:08:15

Very true Tantrum - and on top of all her sports stuff, DD1 is currently wading through lots of 11+ preparation and homework, which she tackles conscientiously every week...

So, really don't have a problem with her spending an hour on her tablet Minecrafting/Sims.

Same here. DD plays netball for her school and the town, has a pony and competes for the school riding team, dances, goes to guides, is a conscientious student who received an Endeavour Award at the end of last year, and watches shed loads of TV.

Meh.

FreedomOfTheTess Tue 23-Apr-13 13:26:19

At the moment, I'm even more relaxed about DS1 watching TV, as in June he'll be taking his Common Entrance examinations. He is studying really hard, as he knows if he doesn't perform well, he'll lose his offered place at his dream senior school. So at the moment, downtime is even more important for him.

You see OP - it can be done - children can watch TV and still be smart little cookies with lots of other interests. wink

BearsDontDigOnDancing Tue 23-Apr-13 13:28:21

I am sat here watching my 5 year old teach my 3 year old letters and letter sounds and a little bit of reading. That is the way forward people! Alphablock cartoons and games on the cbeebies site.

DS has a reading age of 7 (apparently), and the only thing i did was buy a reading eggs subscription (After we tried a free trial and he loved it), and he loves the games in it. Although he has finished the maps so spends a lot of time decorating his little house on there. He also likes to watch his Dad play Plants V Zombies or hidden object games.

We do not have a tv package as I said, we have the laptop connected to the tv and they have access to cbebbies, iplayer, skygo, lovefilm, youtube (obv with light supervision) etc...and they chose as and when they would like to go on them. Sometimes they just want to sit and veg in front of nick jr or MLP, and that is fine.

It is all just entertainment, sometimes it teaches them stuff, sometimes it is just funny and they laugh like loons.

Reading is entertainment, and I read a lot, i do not watch a lot of tv, but my choice of "entertainment" is no more worthy than those that do like to sit and watch soaps for example. Tv is not a bad thing, it is wide and varied and can be educational, but can be just for fun. I know of no child even if the tv is on all day long, who sits and does not move, just staring endlessly at the screen. They are up and down, asking questions or joining in etc...

Amykins35 Tue 23-Apr-13 14:20:27

I do know a child like that, BearsDontDig, mine! If watching it alone (as she does at her fathers) she doesn't move a muscle, doesn't do anything at the same time etc. when it is switched off she's then moody and lethargic so I avoid it here

pigletmania Tue 23-Apr-13 15:40:43

Oh dear op, get a life!

theodorakisses Wed 24-Apr-13 12:37:12

Children must not sit still, they must be constantly active and doing something useful or they may grow up to be .....(gasp) common.
I love the stillness and peace

LaQueen Wed 24-Apr-13 13:53:49

I've posted very similar before Theo - but I firmly believe that all young children need some quiet time. To just stare out the window...pull faces in the mirror...sift through the contents of a box in their room...trace the patterns on the wallpaper with their finger...poke at things in the garden with a stick...

Just aimless, pointless past times that nevertheless create a sense of calm/stillness for the child. It's lets them switch off for a while...

I witness too many children, fraught to the point of tears most days because their parents feel the poor child must be involved in activities every moment of the day. They musn't even have a 20 minute car journey without a DVD playing films in the back, and a CD playing their favourite tunes on a loop.

It's not enough that the child is drawing...oh no...the parent fires 25 questions at the child, whilst it's drawing 'What is that...what colour did you use...what colour next...what are you drawing now...'

The parent feels they have to relentlessly engage with their child, at all times.

There. Is. No. Peace.

theodorakisses Wed 24-Apr-13 16:03:27

Last weekend there was a mum in the grown up pool teaching her tiny baby to count very, very loudly. I took my sunlounger over to the baby pool and had a lovely peaceful time. Obviously it is far too simple for these little geniuses, they must be stretched by being in the deep end of the big pool.

FoundAChopinLizt Wed 24-Apr-13 16:19:24

LaQueen

I totally agree with you. In fact I think that post applies equally to people of any age.

Sirzy Wed 24-Apr-13 16:27:44

Tv is a godsend when DS is poorly, as is his Leappad as they are the only things which may keep him sat still for more than 10 seconds!

Some people seem to think that if children are allowed to watch TV that is all they do when for the vast majority it is just another activity, one which allows them to chill out and relax which is something everyone needs.

iclaudius Thu 25-Apr-13 11:53:16

Totally agree with you lequeen I think limiting screen time encourages that down time . I think today's children lack JUST what you speak of. They need to be on the edge of bored IMO to let their imagination really go...

Acandlelitshadow Thu 25-Apr-13 11:58:11

One film per fortnight?

Well rock 'n' roll grin

TV was downtime after an exhausting day/week at school for my lot. Your daughter is 5 and school life will become more complicated. Come and update us in a few years time grin

GirlOutNumbered Thu 25-Apr-13 19:08:54

Agree laqueen.
Most definitely.

LaQueen Thu 25-Apr-13 20:45:09

When a child's head is constantly, and relentlessly filled to the brim with do this...try that...get this...have that...go there...do this...no, do that...

When are they meant to actually process it all hmm

When is there any time for their minds to...just...drift...

We often drive down to Cornwall (6 hour drive), and have done since the DDs were toddlers. We have never used portable DVDs, or anything like that.

Instead, they have either napped...or chatted with us...or listened to music...or just day-dreamed out of the window, looking at the passing scenery.

Great, huge, whole hours of time, where their minds are just drifting...and fluid...and pretty bored peaceful.

And, are their minds dulled by these long, empty spaces of nothingy downtime...?

No.

Academically, they can whup the arses of most of their highly drilled, hot-housed, relentlessly activated, friends - who last enjoyed a quiet moment to themselves, back in 2007 hmm

fuzzpig Fri 26-Apr-13 09:32:59

I completely agree, LaQueen. It is very important to be able to just... be.

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