To think she's a idiot.

(58 Posts)
Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 09:22:05

About 2 years ago, a mutual friend took my eldest for a group play date (both were 4-5ish) her son is a hitter and a bitter.

On the play date her son hit my ds and unfortunetly my ds had a toy Hoover in his hand, and hit the son. Apparently this caused the child to have internal bleeding in his ear.
We apologised profoundly but didn't chastise ds, other than to say he should NOT hit with a object.

Normally we would say, tell x, never hit back etc but this child, however after numerous biting incidents, and hitting incidents dh told ds to hit back.

Anyway that was two years ago.

We can't separate the boys as they are in the same class at school and also play in the same grouping friends but me as dh do keep a eye on them when together.

Last week as a friends house ds and another friends child (A) was playing football and and X child didn't want to play, but wanted to play with A, who didn't want to play the game X wanted.

With that X went up to ds and kicked and pursued him over, ds started crying as he grazed his hand (boys are not 7 now).

X mum just sat their saying nothing, while I cleaned up but did go outside to tell A he had to play X game. hmm

I should state, that their was 5 other children present who were playing tig, skipping ropes etc.... So not as if X was alone.

When I came back everyone was quiet and looked puzzled but injust left it.

On Friday I find out that X mum will never tell her child off, because she will never get over that "the little shit gave her son internal bleeding and as far as she's concerned he can hit away"

My ds does not hit, in all this time he has hit once child, which was hers, he's not a angel he is a stroppy little mite, but he gets along with everyone, and he's never really been in a situation where he needs to hit, as he just walks away.

I'm furious and can't even look at the friend, ds says when x hits him he always tells the teacher, or us, which he does.

So I'm now torn what to tell ds, do we tell him to continue telling a adult or tell him to hit back.

Her son knows he can hit out child, and nothing will be done to him.

I see her everyday at the school and currently I can't even look at her, I find her whole attuide vile.

There is more to this but ie kept it short.

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 09:26:33

X knows ds won't hit back but will tell a adult, he also knows that his mum will do nothing when he hits our son.

I feel as if my son is being put in a situation where he can't win, and I can't stop him playing with his friends, just because X is their.

ObiWankenYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 09:30:16

If this was my son, I'd be confronting the mother

What sort of lesson is she teaching her son?

One day, someone will hit him back. What then? Will it still not be his fault/problem?

schobe Sun 21-Apr-13 09:30:21

HOW is telling him to hit back going to help at all?

Mad idea, honestly.

Surely there is always another adult about, so he doesn't have to rely on his mum who will do nothing? If not then stop letting him be with this boy when the only supervisor is his mother who will do nothing.

I'm a bit confused tbh.

BoundandRebound Sun 21-Apr-13 09:31:18

Been there done that

And honestly I don't know. And I don't have the added guilt of my child ever giving other parent an excuse

At 12 now I have told my son to hit back, same kid since he was 4 but sporadic

If its just your child he targets then that's an issue you should talk to school about, if its all children then the mother will be well aware there's an issue and you should leave it

What do other parents say, is this the boy that "pulls the wings off flies", is this the child that everyone is worried about their own child's safety with or is it just your child there's an issue with

Thumbwitch Sun 21-Apr-13 09:34:53

Not much of a friend, is she.
In your place, I would be keeping them apart as much as possible, and possibly looking at changing schools unless that's severely impractical.

It's only going to get worse...

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 09:38:05

Sorry I should have stated, we are all good friends, there is 6 of us in total, and all our dh are friends also, and all the children are in the same class (5 of them).

So if we meet up (rarely for me and dh) but it was a big football match last week and we all went to friend A house. I didn't get there till after 3pm as I was at work, and game into this until then dh, was keeping a eye on things.

At the moment ds tells a adult, but dh is now thinking that ds should gt back and twice as hard, to stop this child hitting our ds, he does not hit anyone else in the group (well he does but he gets told off for it) by the parents and his mum.

If I tell her son off, she gets defensive and tells me to not to. I've had words with her in the past but she states boys will be boys.

HollyBerryBush Sun 21-Apr-13 09:38:18

On the play date her son hit my ds and unfortunetly my ds had a toy Hoover in his hand, and hit the son. Apparently this caused the child to have internal bleeding in his ear. We apologised profoundly but didn't chastise ds, other than to say he should NOT hit with a object.

Both as bad as each other really. Your son did another child a serious damage and you gave him a wishy washy don't hit with an object which to me sounds like hitting is ok provided you don't use a weapon.

Now you're complaining because she is as wishy washy as you.

Make new friends is my advice. You both have very different ideas as to what is appropriate parenting.

BoundandRebound Sun 21-Apr-13 09:39:16

Is it just your child he hits?

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 09:43:22

Yes, she's the mum that everyone knows will be trouble, if her boy isn't there, everyone gets alone fine.

The child hits his father (separated) and he won't punish him. (Kicking, bitting, spitting, punshing) etc...

She has a younger child also who tore my son and another child face, as she attacked them every time she didn't get her own way, both have scars on there faces, which resulted in the other friend having a massive huge falling out, again all these children are in a nursery class.

I can't move school, as ds2 need this school due to his additional needs.

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 09:44:36

Mosty bound yes.

He does hit others but 90% of the time its ds who gets it.

We try not to socialise with them often tbh.

DottyboutDots Sun 21-Apr-13 09:48:36

I'm utterly confused. I've no idea: who hit whom, when and what was done about it. Really but you all sound like you've no idea on how to discipline your children correctly. And 'boys will be boys' makes me shudder.

Why don't you publically say something along the lines of:

"When your son hits my son, will you please chastise him like you do with others. It is not right and you are well aware of it. Otherwise we will not be able to see you socially."

Do it immediately that he son hits yours, and in front of others. Also, tell your DH to grow up, violence is never the answer and your son has hurt this child badly in the past and didn't even get bollocked.

Every time you see her son hit yours LOUDLY proclaim 'Oh DS did X just hit you AGAIN? I'll ask his mummy to tell him to stop it!' DO it every time so she, and every one else understands just how often he is hitting.

Alternatively go with the truth... 'My DS has hit your son once after your son repeatedly hit HIM. I'm sorry he was hurt, but that's a consequence of being allowed to hit others, eventually even the most placid child will hit back. If you want to let your child keep hitting then please don't be surprised when my child finally has enough of being bullied and hits him back again.'

Let her strop, she's an idiot who is teaching her child to be a thug.

Jinty64 Sun 21-Apr-13 09:52:31

I would teach him to push the other boy away whilst shouting at the top of his voice "no, don't hit me, I don't like it."

I think you need to step in and discipline her child if she won't do it. If she is unhappy with this you need to remind her of the incident where, after constant provocation by her child, your ds was forced to defend himself and that you are taking steps to prevent it happening again.

It nothing works then you need to change your friendship groups. Ask the others back to yours but not them and don't go to places they will be at. You have to protect your ds. Could dh speak to the boys dad.

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 09:52:40

Holly no, as I said there is more to the story, that day anther mother was there, she said ds was getting goaded to the end of his tether, this child wouldn't allow him to play with anything, kept hitting him continually, bit his back, punching him etc.... Ds at the very end ended up hitting him back and it just so happened that he had a Hoover in his hand when he pushed him against a wall and he hit his head, while he was kicking him.

The another mother phoned dh and said we needed to get ds and she needed to speak to him urgently.

X mum agreed he was bein horrible, and that he was "tired" a few days later we then got via Facebook, that her son has "internal bleeding" due to a blow to the head.

The reason we didn't tell ds off was because he was goaded and pulled so much that day we thought it was unfair.

I would separate them as much as possible, this woman sounds positively awful. Cut ties, don't bother with future playdates or visits to or from each other. That way they will only see each other in school, if any trouble between them at school see whether they would move him or your son to a different class.

There is only so much one can take, your son sounds like he's had enough of the little brute!

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 09:58:53

I'm past caring now what people will think of me, she will be getting told in no uncertain terms, that we have been pushed as far as we can and I WILL BE TELLING HER CHILD OFF, irrespective if she likes it or not.

Good idea about the shouting.

The issue is none of them (x parents) disapline a them, they can be lovely children, but they can be equally vile in there behaviours.

We disapline our children, probarlys too much, infact.

auntmargaret Sun 21-Apr-13 10:02:12

To be honest, it sounds like the boys don't like each other, I would stop pushing them into these meetings. When my DD1 was younger, I told her that if anyone gave her a hard time, physically or otherwise, she had to step back and yell at them "Don't bully me". It was very effective.

BoundandRebound Sun 21-Apr-13 10:04:45

What do you mean you haven't been telling this child off before. I think that's a huge mistake, you absolutely should and if she has problems with it then tough

'internal bleeding' could just be bruising you know.

The whole situation sounds exhausting and miserable and quite frankly I'd just avoid her completely and let it be known that you will no longer be socialising at events she is at because of her refusal to discipline her children.

HerrenaHarridan Sun 21-Apr-13 10:09:24

I agree with pp who said to draw attention to it publicly every time.

Discipline child yourself and if she calls you on it just say, I have to protect my son if your not willing to stop your son hitting him I will.

If she brings up the Hoover incident just point out that was years ago and doesn't give her ds carte blanche to hit yours indefinitely.

Personally I wouldn't actually tell your ds to hit him back but I wouldn't punish him for it in these circumstances just a wee talk about the dangers of hitting and what other ways can we think of to solve the problem than hitting.

also yes to telling him to say very loudly EVERY time it happens " don't hit me x I don't like it"

sashh Sun 21-Apr-13 10:27:40

Keep telling your son to keep telling an adult.

Tell the school so they can keep an eye on it.

Start keeping a diary of how often X hits your son.

Inform mum, or maybe let it trickle through the friends' grapevine that not stopping X is a form of neglect. You are possibly very worried about X's emotional development and are thinking more and more about calling SS. I know SS probably won't do a thing.

Remind mum that's only 3 years until her little angel can get a criminal record and if he as much as touches your son after that you will be going to the police. With your diary and photos of any scratches/bruises.

But yes she is an idiot.

Loa Sun 21-Apr-13 10:38:23

Yes she is an idiot.

Express your concerns to your DC teacher/teachers and trust them to deal with it.

Try and avoid them.

If you can't don't let this DC out your sight with your DC for a minute and if he even looks like he is causing an issue step in - be loud and sort the issue out.

If his mother complaims -and I've never had anyone complain to my face it more comaplining under breath which you then call them on - calmly explain what their DC was doing. If she does complain about you telling him off - well point out someone should be and if she was there she should have done it.

headinhands Sun 21-Apr-13 10:56:19

Did you actually hear her say the bit about 'that little shit' etc. the retelling may well have been embellished by the other adults and it may have been more a case of just stating that there has been previous incidents between the two of your ds's. For the sake of the group friendship you have, I think it best to keep stating to your ds that it is not right to hit and to ask him to tell you if he has been hit by anyone. You and your dp both need to be on board for this.

When you are all together, and if the other dc hits your child I would get down to their level and say 'oh you've made <your child> feel sad by hitting him and then make a fuss of your dc. That way you have effectively told him off but haven't given the other parent any cause to get peeved with you. She may well feel embarrassed enough to take more action about it but it will have been dealt with in a way that won't damage your social group, and believe me if you go off on one to her face it will be the end of the group and there's nothing to say it will be her that is left out of the bbq's and so on.

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 21-Apr-13 11:13:18

Yes she's an idiot.

I think I would be preparing myself to talk to her directly about it and for the inveitable fall out and impact on the social circle you have.

She needs to understand that letting the kids just beat each other without intervention isn't a solution and will end with someone getting hurt again. You can't condone simply letting your son stand there and take it - would she?

If she doesn't address her sons behaviour then she'll have to accept that him lashing out is always going to run the risk of someone bigger and stronger punching back. It's one thing when they're small, but the older they get the risk of serious damage being done is going to increase. That's just factual and something she's going to have to accept. She clearly doesn't want to hear it and doesn't accept that 'internal bleeding' is a direct consequence of her sons violent behaviour, but lets be honest - it is. Is she really surprised that people defend themselves against violence?

She's been incredibly lucky to have a group of supportive friends who've stuck it out with the sons behaviour till he's 7 tbh, I would put good money on there being incidents in the future where people are backed into a corner and just can't put their children in harms way on purpose anymore.

Saying any of the above to her is going to result in a split in your group, she will be offended and outraged, but I think you need to make your position clear if she won't even try to stop her son. What choice do you have really?

WorraLiberty Sun 21-Apr-13 11:15:31

This sort of thing drives me mental

Why are so many people nowadays (and it does seem to be nowadays) afraid to stick up for their own kids?

It is ok to tell someone else's child off! If they've hurt your child and their parents have said nothing. Even if the parents have said something, it's ok to agree with said parent so the child knows you're both onto him/her.

Quite why we seem to live in a society where more and more people are willing to stand there and see their own kids hurt repeatedly, rather than risk upsetting the parents by telling the child off is beyond me.

I couldn't look my kids in the eye if I put someone else's friendship/feelings above their safety.

Please grow a backbone and tell the child off yourself.

ObiWankenYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 11:31:44

I'd be printing this off and showing her

She needs to see how flipping stupid she is!

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes Sun 21-Apr-13 11:42:02

I find this quite scary. I thought you were talking about toddlers, not 7 year olds shock.

All this hitting each other and being encouraged to hit people back is really dangerous. In a few years they'll be able to inflict serious damage on other people.

thecatfromjapan Sun 21-Apr-13 11:45:12

The internal bleeding sounds serious. Is she sure about that?? Or does she mean there was a cut on his inner ear? Internal bleeding means some kind of brain injury???? Does it??? In that case, I reckon you'd still be apologising now, and you'd have heard about it way before now. As would everyone else in your son's class!

OK, so 7 is too old to be just hitting and biting. That's toddler behaviour, and they're not toddlers.

Forget about school - if the boy behaves like that in school, the school will sort it out pretty quickly. So just make sure your son is reporting it to school or you, so that you can talk to his teacher.

With regard to your friend - just don't leave them alone together. If there is a group get together, in her house, just keep checking back. If an incident occurs, stare pointedly at her and let a silence make it an issue.

Don't send him for unattended playdates at this boys - it's pointless.

If there are group get togethers that are more about adult sociability, arrange for your son to be elsewhere. don't bring him.

Be prepared to lose the friendship. You can talk to her about it first, but I doubt you'll get anywhere. So just be prepared to drop the friendship. You'll survive. Your friendship with the others will survive. Life is all about change. It's just a change and everyone will shuffle around to accommodate it.

Frankly, if her child is hitting and biting at 7, there is other stuff going on, possibly that you don't know about, so don't assume it's all about your son and you.

thecatfromjapan Sun 21-Apr-13 11:47:11

Also, I'd start the children in something like scouts or woodcraft folk. they are very good with group ethics, and the whole business of dealing with others responsibly, respectfully, without hitting - and expecting that sort of behaviour back again. They really are good ways to socialise your children.

HollyBerryBush Sun 21-Apr-13 11:47:42

The reason we didn't tell ds off was because he was goaded and pulled so much that day we thought it was unfair.

You are giving the message that it is acceptable to lose your temper if provoked enough. Would you accept that as an excuse if you were assaulted?

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes Sun 21-Apr-13 11:52:22

I agree with HollyBerryBush

That's a terrible message to send your ds. I have two ds and I can't remember them ever hitting anybody provoked or otherwise. It's not typical behaviour and your DH is an idiot for teaching your ds to hit, whatever the circumstances.

landofsoapandglory Sun 21-Apr-13 12:01:58

Didn't you post that your DS1 was always hitting DS2, and your DH was letting him get away with it because he was his blue eyed boy? maybe DS1 isn't as innocent as you think!

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 13:09:26

Yes ds1 was hitting ds2, he is receiving counselling for PTSD, ds only hit ds2, no one else, as that was because ds had at the time in diagnosed PTSD. Ds2 would do things that triggered flashbacks and ds didn't know how to handle them so lashed out.

Me and dh went to parenting classes, and we got told we are way to strict, so measures have been put in place.

As for the hitting, ds does not hit, (hes only hit this child once 2 years ago) dh is so feb up with the situation he told me he wanted to tell ds to hit back, not ds.

At the hitting incident it was two years ago ds was 4, was upset, yes he hit back, but he hit back after being bitten, punched, kicked, not allowed to play with toys, the mum telling my ds to play nice, stop telling takes etc.... I don't agree what ds done, but I wasn't goin to tell my 4 year old massively off, after he was goaded so much and no adults were doing anything about it.

What 4 year old wouldnt lash out after being physically and emotionally attacked for 3 hours and an adult allowing it to happen.

Since that day ds hasn't hitten another child, yes ds2, but that's completely different due to the PTSD, and ds was triggering his flashbacks. Since counselling started ds now puts his scary memories on paper.

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 21-Apr-13 13:17:40

I think you need to get some new friends and don't let your ds play unsupervised for the time being. Not because he's done anything wrong but you need to be there to monutor what's going on. If the other mother hasn't got over an incident 3? 4? years ago she's not going to do it now. If she was that upset about it she could have stopped her ds playing with yours years ago.

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes Sun 21-Apr-13 13:33:22

How can you be absolutely certain your ds only hits one other person ie your ds2?

landofsoapandglory Sun 21-Apr-13 13:42:11

That's not what you said on the thread Altinkum!

Your DS is receiving such mixed messages about hitting and violence.

You say he never needs to hit, he just walks away. But he's belted your other DS often enough.

I'd be inclined to distance yourself from the friend and her son, avoid social gatherings and playdates and take a consistent approach with your DS regarding what is acceptable behaviour - whether that it towards your other DC or any other person.

dayshiftdoris Sun 21-Apr-13 18:33:52

Why, Why, Why are you putting your child in this ridiculous situation?

There are plenty of places / group / people who will welcome your children WITHOUT this going on in the background. It is not a good situation for anyone, least of all the children.

Bottom line is Child X had a serious injury inflicted by your son and thus its no surprise that he lashes out first.

And I can say all of this with confidence because I have been in exactly the situation you are in - my son hurt a child causing an A&E visit for an x-ray (badly bruised thankfully).
This was part of a group who I was friends with but after a number of incidents like you describe I walked away and stuck with people and places where my son would get positive reinforcement.

My son now exists in a world where he is tolerated and loved... his self esteem and behaviour has improved as result. He still has challenging behaviour but he's learning... he would never have learnt in the circle you describe.

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 19:11:00

No I didn't say it, as we did not know, ds only got diagnosed a few moths back, as he took a meltdown, when the ambulance and fire service visited the school, he was lashing out at ds2 cries, we didn't connect then both together, now ds has a corner in our house which he sits on when Henry's a flashback and we talk or just cuddle him through it, since he has been in play therapy, the hitting has stopped.

Due to that thread me and dh went on parenting classes and dh seen, through a third party that he was allowing ds1 to get away with more than ds2. We are working on this, its not that dh favours one child over the other he just has more common things with ds1, ie both are sport obsessed, both love cycling, swimming etc... While ds2 loves singing, dancing, etc... Dh plays a massive part in ds2 activities and is even in a play as the big bad wolf with ds2.

We are not a perfect family, we have issues, as most families do.

Ds hasn't received mixed messages, him dealing with PTSD, in seeing his brother and father beig set on fire, made him lash out, he is too young to communicate with us, in terms of telling us his flashbacks, but with help we are dealing with this. He did see a play therapist at the time, however he was signed off, as he appeared to cope. In reality he was bottling it all up.

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 19:21:02

I think people are forgetting this happened two years ago, since then we have massively limited our time with this child and his mother, however sometimes (about 3 times) we have had social gatherings together and each time, her son has attacked our child and the mother has done nothing.

It was only this week that ive found out that she has harboured a grude for this length if time.

My ds does NOT goad this child in anyway, the child hit ds who was playing with A, the child went over and attacked ds, he did nothing to warrant this.

After speaking to a friend today, I have send X mum a message saying that our friendship is over, that I need to protect my son. She has not responded to this.

thecatfromjapan Sun 21-Apr-13 19:30:40

Good luck. I didn't do Woodcraft Folk with mine but I really wish I had. It provides a social circle for parents too.

As I think you probably can guess from my earlier post, I agree with DayShiftDoris. Now that I've remembered who you are, I really agree with her, and think you're doing the right thing moving away from this situation. You (all of you) just do not need this stress. You'll do just fine without it.

How are you all getting along? (Apart from this?) I hope things are getting easier.

Salmotrutta Sun 21-Apr-13 19:35:49

This original incident - you say your DS was hit, bitten etc. for 3 hours and no-one did anything?

Were you there? If you were, why didnt you stop it?

If you weren't there, how do you know all this hitting, biting etc. happened?

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 19:40:32

The cat we are fine, we have our struggles, and it can be difficult, but we are trying to work through them.

Sal, as I said previously the mum took ds for a play date, another friend was there who phoned dh, other friend told us, whatbhas happened, ds came home with bite marks on his back etc...

Dh was at home wth ds2, I was at work.

Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 19:42:54

X mum agreed with ther friends version and said her son had been horrible and was "tired" this has all been said on previous comments.

Salmotrutta Sun 21-Apr-13 19:49:52

Ah, OK.

I was a bit confused about the sequence of events.

I'd be staying away socially and re-iterating with school that they must be kept separate whenever possible.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 21-Apr-13 19:58:18

Completely agree with worra your ds needs to know that you will always have his back.

By the sounds of it x's behaviour is just going to get more extreme so I wouldn't be surprised if others in your circle start to distance themselves

CombineBananaFister Sun 21-Apr-13 20:12:43

Really feel for you actually, been in that situation with Ds and nephew and it ended pretty badly - I kid you not, attempted to stab him (ds 3.5 ,nephew 5). We now don't see some family as a result of it.
Also think it's not fair to judge you for telling your Ds to hit back, there comes a point when you can no longer watch your child being hurt with only harsh words as discipline which are completely ineffective if their own parents condone it.
Agree with the telling him off publicly and repeatedly especially using the word 'bully' if you have to mix socially, otherwise walk away from mixing with them.
Decent people spend far to much time being polite in these situations and it damages YOUR child who can't understand why you're not sticking up for him. Hope it works out ok.

WorraLiberty Sun 21-Apr-13 22:20:45

since then we have massively limited our time with this child and his mother, however sometimes (about 3 times) we have had social gatherings together and each time, her son has attacked our child and the mother has done nothing.

But nor have you or your DH confused

You're not tackling the child doing the hitting and you're not tackling the parents either.

Nobody in your son's life is doing anything to help him.

Either tackle it or stop putting your son in that situation, it's really not fair.

snooter Sun 21-Apr-13 22:27:12

"Internal bleeding" she's fussing about. It will have been a little cut just inside the fleshy part of the ear, long since healed up without any adverse consequences, unless a toy hoover has some sort of sharp prong that could go right down the lughole. This woman sounds very odd & a complete pain.

simplesusan Sun 21-Apr-13 22:45:54

You have done the right thing telling this mother that your ds will not be playing with her ds.

I would stop all out of school contact immediately. If your ds is invited to another friend's house, I would ask if this child is going and if so say sorry, he can't come and then explain why. I would let all the parents know that your ds is not allowed to be left alone with this child and then it is upto them to make up their own minds.
Go into school and explain the situation, ask that they keep an eye out.

Now tell your ds that it is not ok to hit, ever.

Also start and socialise away from this group. Try out activities away from school. I agree with the poster who mentioned scouts. let your ds experience a new, peaceful, calm side to life. Encourage other activities. Tbh I would not have let it get this far, I would have removed my dc from this terrible situation earlier.

pigletmania Sun 21-Apr-13 23:05:56

Tbh I would tell the parent and have little to do with her and her ds

Altinkum Mon 22-Apr-13 07:01:20

The other child does scouts, so for that reason we haven't enrolled ds, he does play football 3 days a week tho, as with judo.

Altinkum Mon 22-Apr-13 07:02:54

The thing is I'm really upset that in actually losing my friends, not the mum as they are lovely, and don't want to lose me.

Altinkum Mon 22-Apr-13 07:07:40

Just seems unfair that other mum gets to continue with her live with MY friends, and mine and ds1, have to change ours because of a child.

I need to protect my son and will be keeping to the no contact, in order to protect him, but woke this morning feeling really resentful of the whole situation as its me and ds who is missing out, and he himself is feeling punished, as he is not going to X party, this weekend, while all his friends are, we can't even make it up to him as we are both working.

Jinty64 Mon 22-Apr-13 07:11:58

You don't need to lose your other friends. Make a point of inviting them over, just don't invite the other Mum. You may miss out on some things but, if you invite some of them individually, I'm sure you will be invited back.

hairtearing Mon 22-Apr-13 10:43:14

My god what an awful attitude, I've had aggression issues with a DC in the past and the best is to talk top them ask them why etc,

I also heavily judge so called parents who swear around/about kids its says a lot about their moral compass.

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