To let my kids play football in the road?(170 Posts)
It's a quiet road and they are 12 so not little. I've told them to keep the ball low and avoid parked cars and I've watched them and they do. They're also good at looking out for cars coming.
They told me tonight that a neighbour freaked out at them saying how dangerous it was and to get out the road. She has much younger kids. I'm just pleased weather is nicer, evenings are lighter and they're outside and not on some kind of screen. AIBU?
If you have a back garden they should be playing here IMO. YABU
They should be playing football in the garden or park, a road with cars parked on it isn't the place for it. Its one of those situations where everything is fine, until its not then you have to pay for damage to a car or one of your kids end up injured.
I think 12 is plenty old enough to go to the park TBH.
If they're 12, isn't there a park they can play in? The sound of a ball being played with in the street (not to mention the fact that children cannot play ball games quietly) can be intensely irritating to neighbours. My neighbours' children used to do it right outside my house when I lived in a cul-de-sac. I work from home and it used to drive me demented.
There is a park very near that they go to but they sometimes prefer playing in the road. Not for hours, I don't see the problem. They aren't noisy.
YABU.. its a road, not a playground. Tell them to go to the park.
If the neighbours have younger kids, who see the older ones playing in the road, what happens if the younger kids try and copy, but dont have the sense to not run out from behind a parked car..
You don't live in the 1950s anymore. People speed etc.
They definitely shouldn't be playing in the road. Never mind the moving cars, what about the parked ones? I wouldn't be very happy if my neighbour's DC banged my car with their football. They're old enough to go to the park on their own now.
12 year old boys get very caught up in the moment when playing football don't they though? it's only a matter of time before a window gets smashed, smaller child and/or pensioner gets a ball in the face/balls, old Mrs Taylor's prize winning dahlias get smashed to smithereens. We all wish it was 1976 but it isn't <health and safety emoticon>
It's a road. Not a football pitch. Not a garden. Not a park.
Take some responsibility for your children, teach them some sense, and stop annoying your neighbours.
So long as they use a sponge ball. Streets were made for playing in . Beats being up the park, surrounded by white lightening bottles and used condoms.
>having a nostalgic whimsy moment<
Streets werent made for playi.g in, parks were. your kids might not be noisy but there'd be one hell of a racket if they were to hit my car with tjeir ball
Send them to the park. its all fun and games until one of them gets hit.
It really depends how quiet the road is, and how many cars are parked on it. The road I grew up on was fine for playing football on, but where I live now isn't.
We have two groups here that play in the road. One lot I think of as the kamikaze squad, they have no sense of danger, run after the ball without looking, kick it across the road as you are driving, pedestrians get bumped into or hit by balls. One day someone is going to get properly hurt.
The others play in a cul-de-sac and cone off the entrance. If a car wants to come in, the children move the cones. It's by mutual agreement of the adults in the cul-de-sac.
OP, what you are permitting is the former situation. It's dangerous, inconsiderate and probably illegal.
We live in a quiet culdesac and I wouldn't let ds play football in the road....what if ball went through a neighbour's window or damaged a park car?
He was sent to the park with his mates.
It wiuld really piss me off to have children playing football in the roac...that thud thud noise.
Meh. Where I live kids of all ages play out all the time. It's nice.
It was one of the advantages we felt when we moved out of our street in London where some children did that. It really irritated is. They were continually noisy, shouting etc, and their ball definitely did hit the cars even though they denied it. It was very annoying.
I love looking at old photos with children playing in the street and blitz ruins!
That's when we had a sense of community.
Me too Holly.
The world has changed though. My two had a foam ball and played down at the bottom of the road but Victor Meldrew came out and told them they were being too noisy, and silent football isn't that great is it.
But they are 11 and 13 now and the park is so much better for everyone.
I would say that they should go to the park.
While they may be good at looking out for cars, the drivers may not be expecting them. There was a young boy killed in the next quiet street to mine. Driver wasn't speeding, but the kids were playing in the street, there was a car parked so the driver couldn't see them.
From a personal point of view, kids playing out, running about, chasing on the pavement is absolutely fine and doesn't bother me at all - I enjoy hearing it, but I am driven demented by the thud, thud, thud of footballs right outside my windows for a few hours at a time when kids play in the street - and the intrusion as they race into my garden to collect a mishit ball. And regardless of how low they keep the ball, my car (parked on the drive, away from the road) has been hit a few times.
Get them in the park - safer and less risk all round.
All well and good, back in the days of the park keeper - who knew you and your parents. Now that is all outsourced to private security companies who only come round to lock up, there isn't that responsible adult to keep an eye on things. Consequently our local park is full of feckless unemployed teenagers, drinking and doing a bit of dealing. I really don't like my 13yo going up there.
Kids playing out in the street gives a sense of community and vibrancy to an area..
We are quite lucky. V nice park. I have no worries about them going after school, but not after dark. DS2 came back about 8pm last night.
YABU. The noise of the footballs in our road drives me crazy. Also those wretched scooters as they bang them up and down the kerbs doing stunts. They play outside my house and I am forever asking them to go and play outside their own further up the road. I imagine their own parents do not like the noise which seems to vibrate through the house, and send them to play further away. Last summer I had to keep all my windows closed, but could still hear it.
I agree with Holly. A kid or two year old playing in a quiet road is a heart warming sight.
Outside is for people.
And we wonder why we have a nation of fatties and a crap football team!
But roads are for cars surely Paradise. Driving rather than parking on, mind.
Depends on the road. Last place we lived, all the kids played in the road. At times it was almost a creche, there were so many, with occasional adults having a coffee and keeping an eye on the younger ones.
Where we are now, it would be dangerous.
It's not the 1950s.
Roads are busy.
Yes, that's true Plastic. We live in a cul-de sac. Generally everyone drives slowly but there are the same few who like to come round the corner on 2 wheels.
I live in a cul de sac and whilst the residents are fairly good about turning into it & driving up it slowly, not all visitors & delivery men are.
Tha's why I wouldn't let them play in the road.
Where I live is speed-hump-central - whether the roads need it or not! Also the parking bays are alternate sides of the road, so there is no straight path to speed, it's like slalom skiing. Mind you I have 5 primary schools all in a 3 minute walk.
Summer holidays I don't like, when Y11 go on study leave in may and won't go back to school/college until October - the park is a complete no go zone - that is the trouble with affluent parents, they have no idea what their PFBs are spending the money on. Dope and alcopops usually.
It depends on the road. A cul-de-sac is great for playing out in, with a foam or soft ball. A busy road obviously not. Common sense is all that's required.
Thanks for all your replies. Seems an overwhelming majority agree with my DH! The road is very quiet, at the top of a very long hill which is a dead end. So it is only residents or visitors turning into our road off the hill. Or deliveries. Most people have drives, there are a few cars on the road but not loads. They're also not out there for hours every day. Usually just when a friend from down the hill comes up. Although I hear she did give our neighbour some lip .
"No wonder we are a nation of fatties with a crap football team" very true.
Depends on the road. If it was a quiet cul de sac then its fine.
You've told them to avoid parked cars?
That's great but in reality it's only a matter of time until a car gets a dint from a misjudged kick. Are you happy to pay the bill?
They need to play in a park before they invariably break someone's car window or wing mirror and then don't own up to it.
The road is not for playing football.
Sorry but yabu.
I don't allow ds to do this. And I don't appreciate it when the other kids on the street do it.
I don't want a football hitting my car or windows, which has happened in the past.
'I love looking at old photos with children playing in the street and blitz ruins!
That's when we had a sense of community.'
And gangs of young teens and older boys roving around looting.
Now, in the 21st century, over 70 years later, the street is used for cars and transport instead of a playground.
YABU. Send them to the park. We live in a nice quiet road where no one speeds - until last week when joy riders managed to knock down a kid who had been playing in the road. He's still in hospital - not worth the risk.
Young kids or bikes/scooters - fine, our (quiet, inner London, dead end) road is full of them and I like it.
12 year olds playing football when there is a park v close - not.
Hmm, I have a lovely football size dent in my car.
We used to play football in the street as children. It was a very unmetalled road, and only 4 people in the street owned cars.
depends on the street and OP says it's quiet. could they use a plastic or sponge ball. some parks have all sorts of undesirables.
I play out in the street with my kids, waiting for a neighbour to say something as they think they are upmarket.
Yes, but these are 12 year olds. If they stick together and play in a group, they are unlikely to be bothered by undesirables.
Depends on the road
I live in a tiny estate of 8 houses, we're at the end of an unmade track and the entrance is gated. All our kids play in the street and it's perfectly safe. They play football, cricket, tennis, build dens and camps, etc and it's lovely
I wouldn't let them out on a busier road
There is a danger that a group of 12 year olds could look like undesirables sadly.
Kids all play football in the road outside my house. It's infuriating.
I work long hours, have three DC aged 4 and under and when they go to bed I want to sit down and relax not have to listen to bellowing children and the sound of a ball being kicked around and banging against buns
and denting my car
I'm sure that makes me sound miserly but to be honest I don't care. There's a park just around the corner, they should go there.
Roads are for cars not for kids to play in.
Strange attitude begonia
Maybe they just don't their car/property damaging rather than being upmarket
The £250 repair bill for our car we had when it was damaged by the older kids playing in the street recently didn't warm my heart at all. Funnily neither of the parents of the pair of culprits offered to contribute to the repair bill.
I think that's it Miaow. A 5 year old say, with a foam football is not the same as a 12 year old with a proper football. They have a very good powerful kick on them-best practised in the park IMO.
Are you my neighbour? Your children are driving me insane, as A&E the football prints on our vehicles.
miaow that's awful, and exactly my reason ds isn't allowed. I just wish other parents on the street had the same mindset. But it's not their car that would be potentially damaged because they play at my end of the road <grumpy face>
The kids round here seem to congregate in our small cul-de-sac to play football, despite there being a very large grassed area at the top of the next street. I don't even know who half these kids are.
Their ball often hits parked cars (last year a couple of cars got damaged) or windows and the boys are forever trampling all over flower beds and gardens to retrieve a misguided ball without a care in the world. Not to mention the noise.
Then there is the idiot boyfriend of the girl next door who makes his mission to see how fast he can rally his car around the corner and do a 90 degree turn in the street completely ignoring the 20 limit!!
At 12 years old I would expect them to go to the park or a large grassed area at least.
Oh yeah - the kids who damaged our car... aren't allowed to play outside their own houses - they're sent along the street to play outside ours!
Oh how I rejoiced when I saw the to let sign outside the house of the main culprit last week. The thought of another summer of it, especially with us having the one "sittable" wall out front (everyone else has fences, or those iron railings or hedges) was not pleasant.
Miaow This sounds like my road. They even come from the next street to play with their friends. The Neighbourhood Watch rep was verbally abused by one of the parents when she tried to ask them to stay away from other people's houses.
I live in a large cul de sac and there are a few kids who play footie or use skateboards. I try not to mind but it can get noisy and I've seen one of them lean on my car whilst watching his mates. He got a flea in his ear, I'm afraid.
What bugs me is they don't play outside their own houses.
I don't send them up the road outside others houses, they are outside ours. They are also girls, does that make any difference, shouldn't really.
YABU. Football should be played in the park or a garden.
Why would there girls being in the group make a difference
YABU. Regardless if the children's numbers or genders to let them play in the road.
I think what Sandy meant was that her dcs are girls as some assumed they were boys..
That makes no difference to the fact that it is still U to allow then to play football in the road.
Doesn't matter if they are girls or boys. Playing football generally gets heated, the ball gets kicked harder etc the more the game progresses. Someone kicks the ball hard, the person who sees the ball coming towards them, moves out of the way, bang a dent in the car.
Of course they are noisy. The sound of the ball bouncing on the road. The girls screaming and shouting at each other to pass the ball to them, or to get the ball. The cheers when one of them score. You might not think they are noisy but your neighbors will.
For all the reasons already stated.
While it is great that they are out enjoying themselves and letting off steam, not so great if your wing mirror gets knocked off due to a powerful kick or your newly planted bedding plants get trampled on by size 8 feet.
That's why we have parks and gardens
and that isn't miserly.
It's when you are sitting in the house, with the car that you've saved for years for (not posh - just hard up!) parked on your drive, waiting to hear the unmistakable sound of a football hitting it - which happens from time to time even if the children are being careful - that you get wound up... If there's a playspace nearby, they should be playing there, not near people's cars and properties. (It's even worse when the football hits your front window and you nearly have a heart attack....!)
If the ball hits the window and it has grit on it, it leaves a lovely scratch.
Holly there were not many cars in the blitz! and parents kept an eye on their kids too.
op YABU. same reasons others have said.
we once lived in a culdesac. tha amount of cras that got sctratched/windows smashed/kids running to and fro in front of house.....a park just round the corner, unused back gardens....
what Miaowsayd too. why dont they play outside their own bloody houses? in their own street?
I do think cars have appropriated an awful lot of common space (i.e. all the roads we have) andthat has had a negative impact on children and childhood.
Nevertheless, if there's a park they can get too that is safe then it would seem like a better place for them to play.
<on the fence>
I live in a cul de sac and there are currently about 15 kids sat outside my house, ranging from 5-12 , they have scooters, bikes and footballs. They are being noisy and the girls keep squeeling but its nice to see them all out playing.
in your defence OP thank you for at least asking if its okay, those posters that are saying whats happening right now outside their houses , well their neighbours havent bothered asking. so well done at least for that, OP.
theres no excuse for not going to a park. there are ALWAYS parks/playgrounds/greens/play areas nearby , wherever you live. yes its nice kids are getting fresh air and stuff, but their outside making a niusance while 'caring' parents are inside zonked in front of the tv and not keeping an eye on them, or at least knowing where they are.
only other solution is.... ...please rain....please rain....please rain....
My car got damaged by a football. Went to have a word and it ended up with police being called. Child was too young to be responsible for anything. We have a park about 30m away. Parents said they didn't want him there, he was to play in the road so they could watch him (bollocks because neither f them did and neither could be bothered walking up to the park)
So I was left with a car with damage (approx 70 football marks all over it) and a child that still uses my car as a goal post
Now a sponge ball would be a fab idea. And before I get flamed I've even offered to walk said child up to the park
exactly. these dont think of peoples property. cars cost money and then when theyre damaged (as mine was once )they wont take responsilbity for it.
I can understand folk not wanting their cars damaged but i wonder how many folk here played in the streets when they were young, when there were much less cars on the roads, when cars weren't king and had taken over, where now folk are obsessed about protecting their nice shiny car above all else.
Playing football in the road in a residential street is selfish, bordering on yobbish behaviour.
now kirby was a great game and can only be played in then street. our kirbs aren't square enough so the kids will never know the joys of kirby.
My DS plays football out on our road with neighbours children. After reading this thread I will be ordering them a sponge ball!
YANBU in the area I live all the local children play in the road, football and cricket being faves, in the 2 1/2 years I have been here not one broken window, or dented car (this is a lie I dented one last week walking to friends house tripped over the curb and went flying into the back of a neighbours mini in their drive...whoops!)
It is a real mix of age groups here as well, we got 1 complaint from someone who reported the children to the police! FFS! For playing and they didn't even live here using our road to park for the local hospital... Don,t get me started on that and people even using our drive ways during the week
Sponge balls when it's ever so slightly wet can soak up enough water to become as heavy as a proper football pretty quickly.
Speaking from bitter experience of playground duty on a damp morning and taking a soggy sponge ball to the face.
yabu 12 is old enough to go to local park .
Begonia - I did play in the road but had I damaged something my mum would have clipped me round the head and sent me to apologise and would have paid for the damage. And I wouldn't have been allowed to do it again. My car is valuable to me, I'm not precious about it but seeing a car that you've worked your ass off to buy damaged within a week made me cross
Plus at the age the child is I was off to the park and fields etc, he isn't allowed to leave the road
I'm not bothered about moving cars or the safety of your children that's your concern ( harsh I know) ,what concerns me is the safety of my property and my cars sat on my property . We've had this problem with a neighbours 11 yr old and his friends with balls bouncing off my plants and cars and there is a large green less than 50 m away ! I've told them several times to go play outside their own house and I don't care if people think I'm a miserable cow . IMO they're either big enough to play in the park or they should stay in their own garden .
YABU - 12 is plenty old enough to go to the park.
I have a 12yo DS and he has never been allowed to play football in the street. The boys that have been allowed to have, over the years, damaged cars and gardens and have themselves had near misses with cars (and yes, we live in a quiet cul-de-sac as well).
People work hard and may value different things to you - just because you don't give a toss if your car or plants in your garden are spoilt by a misaimed ball, doesn't mean their values don't count.
Telling them to be careful doesn't work - however careful they mean to be, mistakes happen and a 12yo can kick a ball bloody hard and do a lot of damage.
children playing football on the street with a large soft/sponge ball should be encouraged.my son was 10 last year playing in the street with friends with a sponge football the neighbour came out and told them to clear off.
neighbours should be happy and encourage children to play sports it keeps them out of trouble.much better then the kids causing nuisance in the neighbourhood kicking fences ,grafitti,causing mayhem because if they tell kids to buugger off they will just stand on the street bored so trouble cause for laughs.or maybe they want the kid stuck inside on the x box turning into an unsocialble freak.not good for their career they need team building skills which they get from playing football in the street .these are our next generations so let them play on the street its much better for society than other options kids turn to because they are bored.thses kids could be your next nurse or dentist doctor eg so encourage social,team work,be happy they play outside your house much better then hanging on street corners bored causing havoc drinking or social recluose.lets encorage a nice generation and stop taking good things away from kids.
rach - yes, because they have to actually play in the street and risk damaging other people's property, rather than a park or other appropriate space, to avoid becoming fat, unsociable delinguents
What a load of shite.
It sounds as if there are angry neighbours where OP lives already - she says that her daughters' friend ''did give a neighbour some lip'' so why is that?
Is it worth falling out with neighbours when the kids could easily go to the park?
racheael you're so right. I should be happy to be disturbed and pay for repairs to my car and replacement plants because the future of other people's children is down to me
Good grief, I've heard it all now 😗
I don't think there's any moral right for a car owner to be able to inhibit the activities of others because they want to protect their own property. People were playing on public land long before cars came along. I think it is just as reasonable to say if you want to protect your car park it in a garage than it is to tell kids they have to go to the park.
Just spotted shocking typo in my previous post
And children that are not taught to disrespect other people's environment and property by booting a football around in it (and we're talking 12yos here, not tiny tots) are far less likely to grow into vandals and entitled wasters than those that are taught they can do whatever they want, wherever they want, regardless of other people and their wishes.
Emmeline - And people who don't have a garage? Or people who spend their hard earned cash making their garden look nice because that's what makes them happy? Don't they have a say? As long as your kids are happy eh? As long as they aren't inconvenienced by being asked to walk to the park to play?
Is there a back street with no cars where they could play football? That's where we used to play when the park was full of rough kids and drugs and the road was too busy.
mutt this isn't an "I'm alright Jack" argument. My kids don't play football in the road.
I'm just pointing out that cars have appropriated public space and changed the way a lot of land can be used. A lot of people up in arms about their right to have their property protected don't seem to appreciate that they have had a huge impact on everyone's environment and exeternalised costs that we are all paying.
chaime - the OP hasn't said the park is full of rough kids and drugs. She said her kids "prefer playing in the road".
I may prefer to play my music at full belt late at night or sunbathe naked in the garden...I don't because it may annoy/offend my neighbours.
Everyone has to learn to take other people's feelings into account and there is absolutely no reason 12yos can't walk to the park to play..
Well my car isn't in a public space, nor is my garden. My driveway is not a public thoroughfare and I have every right to expect others to respect this
How exactly does this impact on everyone's environment?
Off-topic, but I'm quite judgmental of people who tarmac/pave over their gardens to create parking space as I once saw a documentary about how this is one contributing factor to increasing flooding in this country (there is less soil to absorb rainwater).
But then if we park our cars on the road, we're taking up valuable playing space for our children!
One can't win
Emmeline - I disagree. This is absolutely an "I'm alright Jack argument".
It is about doing whatever the hell you want to regardless of the effect it has on other people when there is a perfectly acceptable compromise available (playing in the park in this case).
Not an attitude I hold and not an attitude I want my DC to grow up with.
AmI presumably you actually drive that car on the road when it isn't parked on your drive, so you make the environment those children live in more dangerous to them. The OP mentions that the neighbour who told the kids off went on about how "dangerous" it was.
I'm not advocating that kids should be able to kick balls around with impunity and that it doesn't matter if they hit someone's car or window. They need to take care. Just as you need to when you are driving.
It doesn't matter how much "care" they set out with - accidents can and do happen.
I take it you don't have 12yo football mad children Emmeline?
Mutt people managed for years without cars, so by your logic everyone who drives is also using an I'm alright jack argument.
I agree the park sounds on the face of it like a better place to be. But walking or cycling most short to medium distances is a "better" method of transport than driving. It doesn't mean everyone should have to do it.
The space kids used to be able to use has been severely encroached upon by our car culture. Getting annoyed at the kids is a really selfish and arrogant response to their situation. No wonder this country has such a bad reputation for childhood happiness.
I agree with Emmeline. I'd rather my car got scratched or bumped than kids weren't allowed to play in our street. It's just a car. A tool for getting between places. I'd hate it to impact on children's quality of life by preventing them from using the shared space outside their own houses.
my car hasn't been damaged driving though,it's damaged sitting on my property. That's my objection, nothing to do with safety.
Still, it's nice to know that I'm arrogant for not expecting 12 year olds to play either in their own gardens or in one if the many play areas around.
Mutt the same is true of driving. It doesn't matter how much care people take, people still get hurt and killed by cars. Bit more serious than a dent or a broken window though. Nevertheless, car drivers a not being unreasonable driving, and kids aren't being unreasonable playing.
anastaisia - so because you place no value on your car, no-one else has a right to either?
What about people's gardens? I have elderly neighbours whose main pleasure in life is spending time and money making their garden look nice. Why is it ok for a misaimed ball to fly into their property and break plants when children have the option to play in the park? I suppose they should pay for a high fenced allotment instead should they?
Children's rights (my own included) do not trump everyone else's believe it or not.
Just to to the park!
They can still play football and run around buy in the appropriate area.
Rach my DC aren't allowed to play in the traffic, I'm sure that wont mean that they will grow up to be fat, lazy yobbos.
Surely teaching them about respecting other people's quality of life and property and not being a PITA to the neighbours is a good thing?!
I don't place NO value on my car. I value it because it allows me to get to work and take camping holidays with my children. I spend money to keep it running and time keeping it clean.
I don't think it remaining in an undamaged state takes priority over children being able to use the space we all have to share. If I felt very strongly about it being protected I wouldn't leave it parked there.
Surely walking to the park to play football is even better exercise an will stop a 'nation of obesity' more than just lazily strolling outside to play?
Its not just dents and scratches that balls cause. Balls can also break things. Why is it fair for others to have to replace broken plant pots and windows?
Yes as I child we played on the street. But even then we weren't allowed to play ball games. Instead we had to go an play in the park.
People rely on their cars for a number of reasons, including use for work. We have a couple of private taxi drivers who live on this road. They need their car for work. They need their cars to be clean to pick up their customers. You don't know why people need their cars. Why they need them is unimportant. What is important is that other peoples property should be respected.
Genuine question for anastasia then, as I'm trying to understand the alternative viewpoint.
Supposing you were the parent of a child (12 or so) who was playing in the street outside my house, booted the ball and knocked off my wing mirror of the car parked in the driveway of my house.
Would you believe that it was my problem and should come out of my pocket as I didn't make enough of an effort to protect it?
Children of twelve are old enough to walk to the park and are too big to be booting footballs in the confined space of a residential street. People will get hit by balls, cars and windows and plants will get hit by balls, children will get hit by cars.
Once boys are over the age of around 8 or 9 they can boot a ball pretty hard. I just don't think it's very fair on your neighbours and there will eventually be a row over it.
My grandparents have very fond memories of playing on building sites, in abandoned houses and round the railway tracks. But oddly, no-one seems too bothered that we don't let children play there any more.
I mean, surely, the builders just need to be a bit more considerate, don't they?
I'd expect that the majority of people would exercise common sense? Like they might if a neighbour scraped their car reversing out of the street (far more likely on our road than the children damaging it).
As the parent I'd make my child help to fix the problem but I'd help them with that. As the car owner I'd understand that accidents happen. As a person living in the street I'd be quite happy to tell any children playing out to watch out for cars/property if they seemed to be going a bit wild. As I said, what I wouldn't expect is that the cars being there take priority over the children using the space. It's their space too and in many areas just going to the park isn't the answer.
Think after reading this, I am going to gather the local children, a ball or two and lead them to the motorway so they can play football. After all, children should have priority of the roads, as it's their space as well. The park closest to me, isn't usable, has the teens in there.
I think this thread is being derailed by the car argument. I agree we have become over reliant and that there are too many on the roads but that's a much bigger argument and one that isn't really pertinent to the OP. You shouldn't have to worry about your property being damaged by your neighbours.
FWIW I think there are degrees of playing - normal shouty, laughter - ok. Shrieking, roaring(!), swearing, running over neighbours property and damaging stuff - not ok. You can guess which one I live by .
I don't just worry about the car, I worry about my windows and garden. The kids here have no problem using everyones front garden as hiding spaces or booting a football full force across the cul-de-sac. It's not acceptable, but not one of the parents seem to be keeping enough of an eye on their kids to tell them not to do it. I've come home to a child crouching down beside my porch hiding while they're playing their version of hide and seek/dodgeball
I grew up in a cul-de-sac and we weren't allowed to play ball games or ride bikes there - that's what the park or back garden was for. We also would have had our arses handed to us for using the neighbours front gardens as our playground. The 'good old days' involved a lot of clips round the ear from random adults if they spotted kids getting out of line.
I also watched as two childhood friends were killed in incidents involving cars right there in the cul-de-sac (one was stationary btw) so they're not safe just because you can see your kids out the window and you think they're sensible - it's not enough when you chuck in all the varients that are beyond your control and that a sensible child is still a child and doesn't have the best risk assessment skills yet.
Ha, I'll remember that next time MY garden gets trampled, or I have to pay for repairs - bearing in mind that money I spend on that has to come from some other part of my living expenses, to the detriment of MY children.
It's their space too!
i grew up in cul de sac with a big grass area in the middle.it was bliss for kids. we did play football although they put a no ball games sign in but it made a good football post. we played out for hours on bikes, roller skates, tennis on the road, our own mimi olympics. when we did leave the street there was no nearby park. just a fast flowing river, train tracks and woods. guess the parents felt playing in our street was the lesser of two evils. kids just seem an inconvience these days.
"The kids here have no problem using everyones front garden as hiding spaces or booting a football full force across the cul-de-sac. It's not acceptable, but not one of the parents seem to be keeping enough of an eye on their kids to tell them not to do it."
"I'll remember that next time MY garden gets trampled"
When I first responded I was replying to a series of posts specifically about cars. I don't think it's okay for children to play without respecting other people's property. They shouldn't be running around people's gardens without permission or playing in ways that mean damage is likely rather than accidental. And so it's obviously important that there's a level of supervision if they need it!
But I don't think that's the same thing as them always having to go somewhere else to play because of the potential for accidental damage to property.
The kids should play with a ball at the park.
A few years ago while I was at work, my DD was playing with her friend on our driveway with a ball........she kicked it too high and it cracked someone's car windscreen . So I basically had worked a full week to replace that windscreen.
The road is for vehicle transport, anastacia, not for children to play. It is shared space only in the sense that it is to be shared with other road users, not as a playground or a park.
'As the car owner I'd understand that accidents happen.'
And pay for it out of your own pocket? Right.
The park is there for a reason - for pedestrians to use including for play. It's the reason the council doesn't just flog it all off and build more roads.
expat the road always used to be a space with far more varied uses than simply moving from one place to another. Playing out on the road, along with other forms of socializing and domestic use have a much longer history than car driving.
Child employment has a much longer history than schooling. Shall we send them all back to work?
Whatever used to happen, roads are undeniably far busier and more dangerous spaces.
We also seem to be getting away from the fact that these are 12yo children with the option of going to a local park, but they prefer to play football in the street.
Definition of road
1a wide way leading from one place to another, especially one with a specially prepared surface which vehicles can use:
Definition of park
1a large public garden or area of land used for recreation:
Spot the one children are supposed to play in
At age 12 they should go to the park. My own children play out on the road but they don't play football on the road, we are lucky enough to have a field behind our house and they are allowed to play football there.
EXACTLY waht EMUZ said.
and i saved long and hard for YEARS to be able to afford the cheapest car that to me is the crown jewels, plus my plants and things.
they are there for ME to enjoy, not for yOU to destroy and then take no responsibilty for.
and i dont care if i sound like a grumpy old bag, it really wasnt like that in my day, we had loads of happy play memories and RESPECT for the neighbours AND their property.
and bikes are just as bad, when theyre not whizzing round corners and an approaching car doesnt see and then.... or they scratch your casr, bikes thrown against cars, or damage wing morrors.
yes Im looking at YOU, ex-neighbour.
Am reading this while listening to a group of teens flying down on our road on skateboards - no thought for the parked cars - shouting and swearing and generally being a nuisance - they don't even move when the residents are trying to park the bloody cars - am very close to phoning the police but it just seems a bit OTT - they don't even live in this street and there is a skate park a few hundred yards down the road too
12 year olds dont have the ball skills to avoid hitting peoples cars and car owners dont want to have to spend the time 'supervising' to make sure their cars don't get hit.
Play in the park! - I'm not against kids playing in the street if its a cul de sac with good visability - its just the football bit I dont like.
' Playing out on the road, along with other forms of socializing and domestic use have a much longer history than car driving.'
And yet they have always been built with the primary purpose of transport. Not a playground.
In what sense built expat? In the sense of laying the tarmac? Then yes. In the sense of there being space around homes? Then no. Public land has always had many uses, and informal meeting space was not least of them.
In the sense that a council decides to build them, and even has the power to force people from their homes, for reasons of transport. It is a public space created for ease of transport.
Might be prudent to read cantspel's posts. The definition of a road and the definition of a park.
A road is not public land. It is a public highway.
Penalties for causing certain kinds of danger or annoyance.
The Highways Act states, section 161
(1)If a person, without lawful authority or excuse, deposits any thing whatsoever on a highway in consequence of which a user of the highway is injured or endangered, that person is guilty of an offence and liable to a fine not exceeding [F1level 3 on the standard scale].
[F2(2)If a person without lawful authority or excuse
(a)lights any fire on or over a highway which consists of or comprises a carriageway; or
(b)discharges any firearm or firework within 50 feet of the centre of such a highway,
and in consequence a user of the highway is injured, interrupted or endangered, that person is guilty of an offence and liable to a fine not exceeding level 3 on the standard scale.]
(3)If a person plays at football or any other game on a highway to the annoyance of a user of the highway he is guilty of an offence and liable to a fine not exceeding [F3level 1 on the standard scale].
(4)If a person, without lawful authority or excuse, allows any filth, dirt, lime or other offensive matter or thing to run or flow on to a highway from any adjoining premises, he is guilty of an offence and liable to a fine not exceeding [F4level 1 on the standard scale].
Theres a group of kids, about 10 years old that play football in the street here. I like it. They seem pretty cautious and its a very quiet street. I don't think i would want to live in a world were they couldn't play on a safe street.
They prefer playing in the road... Tough shit, roads are for vehicles; you'd be up in arms if they had any sort of altercation with a car, wouldn't you?
What else do you sanction your little princes doing, just because they "prefer" it?
My DD was hit by a car in our quiet cul-de-sac. The slowest speed accident in history but she was still left with a broken foot and soft tissue damage to her knee which causes her problems now, 6 years later.
Yabu. It is chav for children to play football in the street. It lowers house prices. Seriously!
My DD was cautious, they all watched out for cars, until the day she forgot. She was 11 at the time. It was bad enough but it could have been an awful lot worse. When car and human connect it is the squidgy organic thing which comes off worse.
Park all the way for me. As a kid, we lived in a quiet street, quite long and dead end. All the kids played out there. It was the done thing. Until one day, one of my friends was hit by a car being driven by a drunk driver.
It was something I will never forget. The blood on the driver when he staggered out of the car. The angle my friend was lying at, half on, half off the pavement. No one ever thought that something like that could have happened on a quiet afternoon in the middle of the school hols. None of us knew the driver. He was so drunk he'd got lost and then hit the accelerator instead of the brake when he saw us.
If you have access to a park use it. Around here they've been trying to close them saying the kids don't use them. If you think you need to, pop there yourself periodically to make sure all's okay.
Better safe than sorry.
evans how awful! Hope your friend made it.
but what do the kids do if the nearest park is 50 mins walk away?
Expat - no, sadly. Even as youngsters we all KNEW. The angle, the absolute silence for a few moments.
Only child, parents devastated. As were we all.
Oh, evans! How awful. Happens so often, too.
because every kid has a park on their doorstep. some parks aren't safe - the nearest to us was full of drunks, some kids were assaulted, one raped and now is full of muscled tattooed charmers with their scary looking dogs. i'm not saying that kids should be allowed to run riot damaging people's property but there is such a bah humbug feeling here, folk who would probably ban any kid out playing locally within shouting distance of their house because the street is for their cars and not the those who actually live there. and i'd imagine most of the streets we are talking about are quiet residential street not argyle street on a friday night.
Seriously not Bah Humbug, Begonia. Playing in the street is a real danger to kids - no matter how quiet normally.
If all the parents got together and trotted down to the park occasionally, just to make sure its a safe environment for them, and reported any potential thuggery to all involved, I'm pretty sure it would be safer than being a potential death trap due to drunk driving/boy racing/police chases.
' folk who would probably ban any kid out playing locally within shouting distance of their house because the street is for their cars and not the those who actually live there. and i'd imagine most of the streets we are talking about are quiet residential street not argyle street on a friday night.'
And yet this poster just wrote about how her friend was killed on a quiet dead end street and another about how her daughter was hit by a car on a quiet street.
A road by definition is for cars, cycles, motorbikes, vehicles and unfortunately, we cannot police which car or vehicle it is that uses them and their level of care and caution. Vehicles who don't live there can use the street as that is what it is for.
It's not a playground or play area and if people use it for that then sadly there are all too often negative consequences.
Just to add that I've fought park closures wherever I've lived. When the communities I've lived in have got together after their parks being threatened with closure due to non-use/misuse, the parks have been kept open, in good order and used by the local youngsters.
Smiles all round.
and when there aren't parks that nearby, or people don't have decent sized gardens if gardens at all then todays kids are missing out on the fun, exercise and companionship that we and all the generations before us took for granted because people are less community minded,less tolerant and more materialistic.
However I think adults now use the roads inappropriately too. At 9,00am driving 5 minutes along the country roads that surround our semi rural estate I had to slow down
serve round 8 adults jogging, 2 horses and at least 5 sporty cyclists 2 abreast . I really felt for the poor tractor driver who had a sprayer on the back and all the filthy looks he got.
Yes I realise all of them are allowed to but they are roads and not an extension of the gym. It's a pain every Sunday when the suns out. When one of them gets knocked down it's totally the drivers fault.
I don't mind the horses by the way seeing as how we are in the countryside. I don't have an answer but it's too busy down south.
what is inappropriately though. thought a road was for transport as has been mentioned here. most rural roads don't have pavements. guess if someone doesn't have a car but wants to get from A-B they should just stay at home as roads are for cars. doesn't matter that the cars aren't driving safely and with due care - roads are for cars and anyone else who doesn't have a big shiny new car can fuckety off. yes, i've been out (in my shiny big fancy car) imbibing a few wines but car rules and anyone else can suck it.
Experiments in Europe have shown that mixed use space becomes safer when there are lots of people doing what some here are calling 'inappropriate' things on the road because drivers stop feeling like the roads are only for cars, and so they start driving more safely. And in the end, that's what cuts down pedestrian injuries, drivers driving more cautiously. Pedestrians already use a lot more caution than drivers when they use roads (those kids playing football in the road are probably more aware of the traffic on the road than most drivers would be while driving). Motorways are only for cars, but residential roads are not. The more drivers get into the mindset that the only thing that should be on a road is another car when there can be other types of users, the more people get killed.
That's why you're seeing more and more mixed use space in cities. It's not because the planners got bored. It's because road safety experts have discovered that car/pedestrian seperation is a false reality in many situations. And all road users need to start seeing spaces as being places they need to negotiate with all other road users. Removing signs that indicate the road is all for them (such as differentiated road surface and right of way indicators) forces drivers to be far more cautious when they are driving and that cuts injuries.
50 minute walk to the park or risk spending hours in casualty and weeks on crutches (or worse).
Is it a difficult choice to make?
Most of the mixed space stuff is designated though - either through design or signage.
You can't just make a car park mixed use.
And most is urban - not many tractors with large sprayers in the cities.
They get installed in urban areas but that doesn't mean the principles don't apply elsewhere. We see it for cyclist safety too. The thing that makes cyclists safest is having more cyclists on the road. The reason it works is because it forces car drivers to realise they don't, in fact, own the road and there are going to be obstacles to their journey.
The horse rider and cyclist and joggers (and tractor) you met on the country road are important in stopping car drivers from driving too fast along such roads. The more common those 'inappropriate' users are, the more drivers expect to meet them and so the less they make erroneous assumptions about how they can safely drive.
No one can drive too fast on the twisty roads we have near us. The roads are single lane with obscured views. They are just dangerous roads and not designed for a whole army of Sunday leisure users.
The point is in the same way as the kids playing football in residential roads. They cause a nuisance because they aren't designed for ball games.
doesn't really sound like nthey are designed for cars either then if they are windy and single lane. so maybe we shoud ban the cars that cause the harm and designate them for walkers and leisure goers. sounds no less weird.
Er apart from people do actually work/live get from A to B in the country! Not everyone in Hampshire gets on a train to work in London from Monday to Friday - and go jogging at the weekends.
Those roads were designed much more for horses, pedestrians and gyglists than they were for modern cars.
I'm playing a bit of devils advocate on this thread, because I do of course realise that we use cars, mainly, to try to get from A to B faster.
And I will swear my back teeth off sat behind a "Sunday driver".
But cars aren't the only use of roads. Historically they have not even been the main use. This demand that other users should give up their rights to road space is a matter of appropriating land for a narrower use than it once had, basically so we can drive faster. Yet in driving faster we make those roads less safe. And an insistence on such a change is a matter of demanding that some people (pedestrians amoung others) lose out while others (drivers) gain.
In the context of the OP we're talking about children stepping out of their house and being less welcome and unsafe in the space around them. Posters' protests about them playing in the street are two fold: the kids endanger the cars - so the kids should go; and the kids are endangered by the cars - so the kids should go.
It is a very entitled view of the use of public space and places the convenience of drivers above all other concerns. Fundamentally I disagree with it because I think the way cars make our residential areas more hostile to pedestrians, and especially children, should be addressed not encouraged. Accepting residential streets as truely shared space would help with that.
I have really bad problems with a family over the road from me. Her kids are alwsys out in the roaf with a hard case ball. There friends all come over and they have a football match, not only r they noisy the ball is bashing against my fence, car, door and windows. Kids should be allowed to play out and have fun but not damaging neighbours property. About four of us compained to the housing association about the kids causing trouble. It stopped for a while, then when i had a new car it started up again. Then when my neighbour had new car they were throwing the ball at her new car. I don't come home till its dark as im sick of the arguments when they see my car on the drive out they come with hard case ball. Ended up falling out with mom as she couldn't see problem as kids out next day with ball. They judt doing it to wind me up now.
IMHO YABVVU where i am is a busy road & every house has a garden with 3 parks within a 5 min walk and yet every child seems utterly incapable of using them they much rather boot their footballs( all leather/plastic) at all the houses and the parked cars, one girl in particular when she hasn't got her 15 siblings to play with loves booting them at passing cars.
i have already had to replace my 3 front windows as they have been smashed in, car windscreen and both wing mirrors cause they have had footballs bounce off of them & i can't afford to keep replacing them, needless to say not a single parent has offered to replace/pay/fit for anything new and i get " oh they're only kids leave em alone", its bad enough its the height of summer and i have to keep everything shut to try & blot out the screaming shouting crying & constant thud thud thud.
whatever happened to a child should be seen & not heard, think about someone else for a change & the stress/cost your brat is inflicting on them instead of me me me me me me me & my brat
No matter how quiet the road is, you must have witnessed at least once instance when someone appears out of nowhere speeding by at 120 MPH without so much as a blink. All it takes is split second for someone, who isn't concentrating, fell asleep at the wheel, drunk driver or simply someone, who couldn't care less to drive through that road and you will have to live with your choice and its consequences for the rest of your life. Think about the possibility of that happening and it's neither impossible, nor improbable, and then your view of whether it's reasonable to let your kids play in the road may change forever.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.