To have a favourite episode of Come Dine with me and to get excited when it's repeated?

(152 Posts)
Spice17 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:17:21

Almost like a favourite film, if it's on I have to watch. It's a celebrity one.

A Killers song on the radio just made me think of it.

If you can guess which one it is, I wonder if you share my sad existence enthusiasm?

No one? Oh.

<looks around sadly >

thistlelicker Fri 19-Apr-13 16:17:47

Looney haha

DoYonisHangLow Fri 19-Apr-13 16:19:01

Ooooh is it the episode when the woman falls asleep upstairs and the guests have to cook her dinner? That's my favourite grin

DoYonisHangLow Fri 19-Apr-13 16:19:43

Oh, not a celebrity one though. Boo. I don't really like the celebrity ones blush

HazeltheMcWitch Fri 19-Apr-13 16:20:39

Paz wanking the cucumber?
The lady who made coulis out of jam and water?
The one where the cat climbs through the window of the sweaty, chair-breaking man?

No. A celebrity one. Linked to a killers song. Hmm, this is like the best kind of conundrum!

(don't tell me yet)

flossieraptor Fri 19-Apr-13 16:22:06

Is it the one when the snake wees on the table?

HazeltheMcWitch Fri 19-Apr-13 16:22:32

The one where Stringfellow's sink breaks.
No idea of the song link.

MyChemicalMummy Fri 19-Apr-13 16:22:54

I love the one when she falls asleep up stairs. My fav by far.

Eww the one with the snake made me gag shock

One where host got so pissed she fell asleep was brilliant grin

Was the 'host fell asleep' one in Preston?

HazeltheMcWitch Fri 19-Apr-13 16:25:16

I couldn't stand that falling asleep woman! The others in the set were ok, but she was dreadful!

HazeltheMcWitch Fri 19-Apr-13 16:25:47

It was Preston.
Dawn, from Preston.

valiumredhead Fri 19-Apr-13 16:26:20

That falling asleep/drunk woman was charged with drink driving the week after that was filmed iirc - it was in the paper.

That's it Dawn! She's as nutty in RL, so I've been told grin

HazeltheMcWitch Fri 19-Apr-13 16:28:03

Was it the one where Lesley Joseph messes up the lamb?
Song being Joseph, better you than me ?

I remember that one with the woman that went upstairs to bed!

She seemed genuinely confused that she didn't win as well, despite not even cooking all of her meals and taking herself off to bed with no warning.

Daft mare.

Shinyshoes1 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:31:03

My fave is the one where the woman falls asleep on the sofa . Did she have a bucket next to her ?? She couldn't score as she was so pissed and had to do it the next day as I recall

The woman falling asleep upstairs was dreadful

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 19-Apr-13 16:34:35

Oh yes I loved Dawn from Preston.
Didn't she get the lowest score ever?
The snake one was funny too.
The sleb ones are never any good IMO.

MrsMacFarlane Fri 19-Apr-13 16:34:48

Yeah, the Preston episode is legendary. Others are the Olivia Goldsmith one, a right nasty piece of work who marked everyone really low. The production team made her change it. And there was horrible Pippa who made Vera stand outside in the freezing cold until she deigned to let her in. Total cow.

The celebrity one with the rugby players is a favourite of mine, smashing hard boiled eggs on their foreheads, only for one of them to be raw. That's the sophisticated level of humour in the MacFarlane household...

HazeltheMcWitch Fri 19-Apr-13 16:36:16

Shinyshoes - are you talking about Bristol lady. Was it Chynna? She was ace.

Spice17 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:36:37

Shall I spill yet? It will probably be a massive anti climax!

I do remember Dawn from Preston, the lovely gay guy had to cook for her and there was another woman like Deidre Barlow on it. Why go on the programme, just why??

Ruffello Fri 19-Apr-13 16:38:09

All of the contestants on the Preston one were brilliant - Dawn, Bernard, Valerie, Nigel and Paul - real car crash TV, but it's my all time favourite!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMacFarlane Fri 19-Apr-13 16:40:33

Valerie kept saying "moist" in a really weird way and Bernard was all nicey nice for the first wee while and then his inner vicious queen emerged and he got really aggressive and nasty. It was hilarious.

HazeltheMcWitch Fri 19-Apr-13 16:40:55

I vote spill!
I have even googled Killers' songs, and cross-referenced against my extensive knowledge of the CDWM oeuvre, and I am stumped.

HazeltheMcWitch Fri 19-Apr-13 16:41:17

Bernard was the perfect name, wasn't it?

FutTheShuckUp Fri 19-Apr-13 16:44:40

Oh the Dawn who kept falling asleep episode was my fave too! Although I thought it was more collapsing in a drunken stupor. Didnt she say she was a glamour model too? She was a mess.

Spice17 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:51:59

It was the Biggins, Edwina Curry, Julia Bradbury and Philip Olivier one.


The song is the Killers 'Are we human or are we dancer' and reminds me of when they were all pissed (sans a boring Edwina, who'd gone home disgusted at their drinking behaviour) and dancing around Julia Bradbury's living room.

BTW why is this thread not showing on AIBU? Have I broken some sort of rule <rubs hands with glee>

Shinyshoes1 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:53:35

YeS Hazel that's the one.. Chynna

Great episode

yaimee Fri 19-Apr-13 23:23:50

the one where Kim (minus aggie) gets wankered on vodka and verbally abuses Claire Sweeney! Bloody hilarious. She must have drunk most of the bottle on top of wine etc, she cannot speak by the end!

MsUumellmahaye Fri 19-Apr-13 23:26:28

my fav celeb one was the rugby players, hilarious.

yaimee Fri 19-Apr-13 23:26:30

Awww no! That'll teach me to forget to see if there's a second page!

Thepursuitofhappiness Sat 20-Apr-13 15:15:02

Oo This has made me nostalgic for come done with me. Anyone know which series the Preston episode is on and I will 4od it if available?

Only criticism of CDWM... Wish there were more all in ones. Perfect weekend tv.

LadyMountbatten Sat 20-Apr-13 15:16:02

the one with the Tory local councillor who makes a pudding of a sliced banana with squirty cream

LadyMountbatten Sat 20-Apr-13 15:16:21

i love the Currie one too OP

singaporeswing Sat 20-Apr-13 15:37:48

The Preston ones are the best ever.

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 15:49:04

I loved Vera poussin being pronounced poussin and the dessert of ice cream with crushed malteasers and fruit coulis ie water and jam she was class.

I also loved the mayor or town cryer who's cat ate the canapés

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 15:49:37

I meant pronounced pussin

LadyMountbatten Sat 20-Apr-13 15:51:34

Oh yes. Town cryer

AmIthatSpringy Sat 20-Apr-13 15:54:01

I don't much like the celebrity ones

My favourite was the Edinburgh one, with Lesley the Cougar blush

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 15:57:50

God I forgot about her iam I don't know what was worse her letching over that young lad or the food that looked like a poo on a plate loved it

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 15:58:50

ami even dam sleep deprivation

Moominsarehippos Sat 20-Apr-13 16:03:23

I don't like sleb ones or where the people are nasty and coniving.

There was one where one contestant wanted to use the winnings for his sister who was really ill. I'm sure he won (lovely man) and was blubbing. Then on the credits it said he died soon after. Waaaaaaahhhhh!

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:09:01

My fave is the one where a fat man made some sort of vile starter out of cheese which he put in a plastic bag and KEPT IN HIS POCKET NEXT TO HIS BALLS all day to warm it up and ferment it or something.

And then he told the diners how he prepped it. Their faces were a picture.

I liked the sleb one with Lembit Opik, Jodie Marsh, Debbie McGee and thingumybob. lembit is the saddest man alive, he makes Adrian Mole look like an urban sophisticate, and Debbie and Jodie were amazingly really nice.

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:09:27

Oh yes that one where he died, very upsetting.

LadyMountbatten Sat 20-Apr-13 16:11:48

Lol at urban sophisticate

BadDayAtTheOrifice Sat 20-Apr-13 16:13:33

My favourite celeb one was with Lesley Joseph when her lamb wouldn't cook and she spent all night crying with laughter.

twinklesparkles Sat 20-Apr-13 16:14:15

Yanbu ..

I have a favourite episode of escape to the country


FiteFuaite Sat 20-Apr-13 16:15:25

My favourite was one from West Kirby,I think,and there was an oldish,portly man who had some awful jumpers :D And they asked him to speculate (off screen) on what 'fruits de mer' was and he said,'Well,it could be apples,or pears or even a pineapple' grin I luffs that man,I do smile

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:18:28

Did you see it ladyM? He has the saddest flat in the world, I swear to god.

I have a fave episode of relocation. It's where that nice young couple sell a tiny flat in London and buy a huge bloody great house in Scotland so they could rent it out and he could do pottery. I thought they were lovely. Far better than most relocations where the mrs wants a house in the Cotswolds and the husband a pied a terre in London and you know he is going to end up being a dirty shagger within six months whilst the wife potters in her new garden.

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:20:04

And Grand Designs, where that psychopath of a man built this ridiculously overwrought design of a house where the seagull wing shaped wooden roof leaked. I wonder what happened there. I secretly hope that the man's wife killed him.

TheCrackFox Sat 20-Apr-13 16:28:54

Did that house ever get finished? Felt very sorry for his kids (she had some choice in leaving the scary wanker).

I only like CDWM when everyone makes an effort to be nice. I hate it when they are all really vile to each other.

[typical people pleaser emoticon]

AmIthatSpringy Sat 20-Apr-13 16:29:20

grin oh yes Wannabe, the Polish lady with the beef. Jobbie grin

Lesley was really letchy, but I think the young lad was lapping it up

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:35:28

There was an update on Grand Designs on the seagull roof house, it still wasn't finished.

He sold the house they were living in and told his wife they were moving to rented the following week iirc. Made all these sweeping decisions without consulting her. Horrible short little man.

Gerrof Sat 20-Apr-13 16:36:06

I also like the cdwm where they all get on and like each other far more than when they hate each other and are really horrible.

Piffpaffpoff Sat 20-Apr-13 16:38:00

Gerrof I saw the lady from that episode of relocation in Kelvingrove last year and pointed her out to my friend, who looked at me as if I was mad for knowing that.

Anyway, my fave CDWM are the man from Ayrshire (I think?) who made pigs trotters and they were something like 20p each, and Jane who had a framed Heston Blumenthal menu on her wall and was a teensy bit pretentious.

And obviously the one with the MNetter, who had given us a blow by blow account as she filmed her week.

GoEasyPudding Sat 20-Apr-13 16:38:34

I am rather fond of the episode that featured a chocolate shoe as a dessert centre piece.

I don't know why but I found the whole episode to be delightful and funny and I often think about that chocolate shoe and smile to myself.....

I too like it when at the end of an episode an outgoing gay guy proclaims everyone will be friends for ever now as they have had such a nice time.

SarahAndFuck Sat 20-Apr-13 16:44:04

Hazel the lady making coulis from jam and water is my favourite episode. She has the little dog that farts under the table too.

We call her the farting dog jam lady and any repeats of her evening fill me with joy.

I kind of like 1970's dead mouse lady as well though.

CPtart Sat 20-Apr-13 17:00:45

I'm from Preston. Dawn is quite a celebrity round these parts!!

MrsMacFarlane Sat 20-Apr-13 17:02:31

CPtart Tell Us More!! Do you know "moist" Valerie and Vicious Queen Ber-NARD as well???

CPtart I live up the road from Dawn's nail place. Is Valerie the deidre look alikey? If it is my claim to fame is I ate in the same indian restaurant as her, at the same time grin

VIX1980 Sat 20-Apr-13 17:09:34

Oh i love the vera one too, where she had to borrow chairs from the neighbours so they were all sat around at odd heights, and the faces they gave each other with her homemade cocktails dished out in special 1920's plasticy glasses.

I also loved Ray from Liverpool who did tai chi in the local park and talked a lot like ringo star but slower, he was vegan and the front runner for most boring man on the planet, they all dreaded getting to ech others houses early in case they had to wait with him.

Also loved the 1 with the cross dresser which had the man who took mayonnaise everywhere with him and he was also on john bishops programme too, think he owned a sweet shop. I still have that recorded on the planner and i dare anyone to try and delete it.

<<think i may of found my favourite thread ever>> grin

MrsMacFarlane Sat 20-Apr-13 17:17:56

Ray the professional Liverpudlian. He was as dull as ditchwater and had zero self awareness. He must have said "ahm a scouser" about 50 times an ep and even sang "in my Liverpool home" aaarrrghgh.

The sweetshop guy was a genuinely funny man, I think that one was Brighton.

itshothere Sat 20-Apr-13 17:21:52

Love love cdwm smile . The one where the contestant died after filming didn't win. A woman won it and gave half of her money to him because his sister was ill at that time. How nice of her. DH want's to know if there is a token gay guy in every village cos he reckons one appears in every episode ?
I liked the one where the guy in Devon was a cross dresser and greeted his guests as his alter ego. His famous artist dinner guest was most offended grin .

SarahAndFuck Sat 20-Apr-13 17:23:58

I hated Ray from Liverpool.

MrsMacFarlane Sat 20-Apr-13 17:24:39

So did I Sarah, he was a tedious cunt.

MsJupiterJones Sat 20-Apr-13 17:25:23

I have a favourite episode of Homes Under The Hammer, when a woman bought a pub. I cried and then cried again when they repeated it.

Favourite episode of cdwm probably the sweet shambolic man who cooked crepes Suzette only I think he had the wrong liqueur or something. Was he the same one as the cat one? Or the warm cheesy balls one? I forget. All the other diners were really nice to him though.

MrsMacFarlane Sat 20-Apr-13 17:25:27

...oh, did you realise he was from LIVERPOOL?

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 17:26:27

Can anyone else remember the man who embalmed his mother?

Another personal highlight was the episode where there was only 3 and the woman had unusual teeth and kept jars of her hair around her flat

RiffyWammal Sat 20-Apr-13 17:26:48

Aw I was sure it would be the one when Dane Bowers gave Dani Behr food poisoning!

One of my favourite weeks is one with a really awful, conceited woman who is nasty about the other contestants and so in love with herself it's untrue - I wish I could remember her name. She looks a bit like Miranda's annoying friend Stevie and had at least one spoiled little dog, used constant malapropisms and couldn't use a knife and fork properly whilst looking down on every one else's manners.

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 17:28:40

riffy I know who you mean the one who was late one night and everyone else was glad she wasn't there think she was called Tracey

mrsjay Sat 20-Apr-13 17:28:47

Ooooh is it the episode when the woman falls asleep upstairs and the guests have to cook her dinner? That's my favourite

i think thats the blackpool one I love she winges and falls asleep and the other guy makes her dinner grin

MrsMacFarlane Sat 20-Apr-13 17:29:44

RiffyWammal, was that the woman who was a party clown on the side (and she was the LAST person you could imagine being a children's entertainer). She kept putting food in her handbag and had no sense of humour whatsoever.

I remember the guy who embalmed his mum, that was a really early one. He won the competition even though he'd just stuck some camembert in the oven and cut up some bits of celery.

mrsjay Sat 20-Apr-13 17:34:29

t was Preston.
Dawn, from Preston.

ach I thought it was blackpool near enough i spose,

I love that woman val her name was she had a weird voice and pursey lips and cooked salmon she was fab grin there was a facebook appreciation society to her, ( her name may not have been val though)

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 20-Apr-13 17:34:34

Oh yes, Ray the Vegan, he really was the must boring man alive.

mrsjay Sat 20-Apr-13 17:36:23

My favourite was one from West Kirby,I think,and there was an oldish,portly man who had some awful jumpers :D And they asked him to speculate (off screen) on what 'fruits de mer' was and he said,'Well,it could be apples,or pears or even a pineapple' I luffs that man,I

aww i saw that 1 the other day on home and health or somewhere there was a judge a vegan and the other guy cried when he won

RiffyWammal Sat 20-Apr-13 17:40:35

Yes! Thank you Wannabe it was Tracey! MrsMacfarlane I think she might have put food in her bag but don't remember her being a clown? Actually I doubt she would have hidden uneaten food in her bag as that would have been far too considerate of other people's feelings! Unless she was taking it for her pampered pooches of course.

She was so awful I actually wondered if she was a CDWM troll. The Liz Jones of dinner parties.

itshothere Sat 20-Apr-13 17:41:34

I could never ever go on cdwm even though I love it. The finger dipping and licking and cats and dogs and dirty kitchens dreadful, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
Homes under the Hammer someone mentioned? Love the show, very inspiring....but Lucy's voice sounds far too breatless to be healthy. Martin's stupid grin and lame comments drive me NUTS I tell you and don't get me started on the wanky music that supports each scene smile

SarahAndFuck Sat 20-Apr-13 17:41:41

I liked the man who was a town crier, and his cat ate some of the starter but he served it anyway.

I was shock by the man who broke the glass bowl his pudding was in, but scraped out the bits least likely to have glass shards in and used them anyway.

TheCrackFox Sat 20-Apr-13 17:48:36

Yes, Ray the Vegan had a scarily low sense of self awareness. What a tool.

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 17:54:54

mrsmacfarlene are you thinking of Julia from derby who hated Michelle the one who ran the pole dancing classes and is desperate to be famous she's been on wife swap as well

RiffyWammal Sat 20-Apr-13 18:02:56

Yes itshothere I've made the same observation about Lucy, having asthma myself it makes me very uncomfortable to listen to her as she sounds so short of breath.

So many CDWM contestants are dirty, dirty pigs (or 'riffy wammals' as we say in the Black Country smile). They all seem to lick the spoon then put it back in the pan, never cover food before they put it in the fridge and often have really long unhygienic false nails. I can't watch when someone finds a hair in their food, it always seems to be shown over and over again in close up. Boak indeed.

Other rules of CDWM: no-one ever has an electric hand whisk, and ice cream makers never work.

CPtart Sat 20-Apr-13 18:15:56

No, sadly I have never met any of them! They are quite an accurate representation of some of Preston's more colourful characters though!

Purple2012 Sat 20-Apr-13 18:23:12

I liked the one where the host had a Waterloo night and one of the girls dressed up as abba.

And the snobby girl that scored everyone really low and was made to re score

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes Sat 20-Apr-13 18:26:24

The Preston episode was classic, I agree. Absolutely hilarious. Val's voice alone was somewhat unique, Bernard was fabulously Ott and Dawn served fajitas but couldn't be arsed to actually cook them.

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 18:27:04

Another classic IMO is the one where the woman ordered the food from a restraunt and had the food passed through the window- I would be very tempted to do the same

AmIthatSpringy Sat 20-Apr-13 19:06:38

Oh and another one that sticks in the mind was from, I think, Bristol area.

There was a Fred West lookalike that sounded drunk, and lived in a huge gothic type house and was a fabulous host and cook. I think he won.

He didn't get on with the really annoying man that kept laughing at everything and had litter trays all over the house.

And there was another one with a drag queen and the guy with the mayonnaise that he frogmarched out his house grin

I love CDWM

VivaLeBeaver Sat 20-Apr-13 19:17:47

I loved the Biggins one.

I also like the one where it was at DI Burnside from The Bills house in Brighton and Dot from Eastenders was passing, didn't know they were filming cdwm and invited herself in. I'm sure it was him....chris Ellison isn't it?

TheCrackFox Sat 20-Apr-13 19:18:22

Top tip if you are ever tempted to go on CDWM never attempt to make your own ice cream. Never. Ever. Works.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 20-Apr-13 19:19:09

There was a mumsnetter on it a few years ago. She posted about all the behind the scenes stuff.

Stinkyfeet Sat 20-Apr-13 19:19:20

In the Preston series, did someone have a pole dancing pole that Valerie spun around in a toe curlingly cringy manner?

And was it Bernard that had all the pineapples lined up on his kitchen windowsill?

MrsMacFarlane Sat 20-Apr-13 19:21:57

Wannabestepfordwife, thanks so much for clarifying the annoying clown woman. I remember now you mentioned the pole dancer. She really was the most unlikely clown you could imagine. Zero humour or sense of irony.

TheRealFellatio Sat 20-Apr-13 19:27:10

Oh I remember the Lesley Jospeh one - she was hilarious. More tan I can say for Sherrie Hewson, who thought she was hilarious but I actually wanted to punch her stupid face in by the end of it.

Moominsarehippos Sat 20-Apr-13 19:44:46

There is no way on God's green earth I'd be on that show. People are so nasty on it - it didn't used to be that bad!

any episode with cats hair etc

and the one where the toilet was really really bad...

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Apr-13 19:54:34

No problem mrsmacfarlene she was so PO faced and she was so stuck up about the pole dancers house. I think she was jealous that even though she had a boob job and had a prettier face then the pole dancer the pole dancer was far sexier and more charismatic.

Id totally forgotten the cringeworthyness on the Vera episodes when pippa asked the young lad out and he had to say yes out of politeness

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 20-Apr-13 22:30:42

I love this thread. I feel I am amongst lots of kindred spirits.
I had totally forgotten that Derby Julia was a clown. When people mentioned CDWM clown, I thought of that also rather serious lady, from Milton Keynes, who was applejack.

For some reason, thinking of clown Julia reminded me of that lady Cardiff (annette?), who got into a huff and went to sit on the lounge. She was a psychic.

HazeltheMcWitch Sat 20-Apr-13 22:30:52

lady IN Cardiff...

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 21-Apr-13 05:23:38

I know who you mean hazel the one who had the fake coughing fit and said it was bad energy in her chakras

Skellig Sun 21-Apr-13 06:31:07

My favourite is that one in Edinburgh where they all get on brilliantly and end up having lots of bottles of wine and getting happily drunk together. I like to imagine they are all still best friends.

And there was a really good one where one of the contestants threw a massive queenie strop and went to sit in the conservatory all night. But generally, I prefer it when they all get on.

Ruffello Sun 21-Apr-13 10:03:57

Does anyone remember a celebrity episode in Liverpool with a model who was the nastiest piece of work ever? She was kicked off and replaced with the lovely Margie Clarke.

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 21-Apr-13 10:57:09

Omg ruffello you appear to have found the only episode of cdwm I haven't seen better get myself on 4od

oxcat1 Sun 21-Apr-13 11:02:15

I love that one from somewhere in Yorkshire. There's a lady who makes sculptures (and dinner!) out of road kill, a young posh girl with an aga, a portly man who wears just an apron, and a young guy who swigs cough mixture at the dinner table.

They are each mad, but all lovely and they just seem to have a really amazing week!

Gerrof Sun 21-Apr-13 13:41:09

I love Margi Clarke, I have not seen that one.

I don't think I could go on CDWM looking at some of the REVOLTING kitchens.

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 21-Apr-13 14:00:12

Ruffles - that Margi Clarke one... It was Jasmine Lennard (skinny no-mark who one allegedly shagged Simon Cowell) who was chucked off. She had a row with Marcus Collins, then Benidorm lady stuck up for him. Then JAsmine threatened to glass Benidorm lady.

Then Margi came in, and was very very whacky. But they all got on.

Ruffello Sun 21-Apr-13 14:11:38

Ah yes, Jasmine Lennard - she was truly vile! Chelsea Healey was in that one too and stormed off in tears after it all got a bit too much for her. Once the toxic witch had left, they all got on really well.

Gerrof Sun 21-Apr-13 14:14:15

Urgh that Jasmine Lennard character is vile, shame I missed that one.

I am watching CDWM at the moment where someone has jus made a REVOLTING Manchester Taaaaaaart. She ha a filthy fridge as well.

The commentary never fails to make me laugh.

TheRealFellatio Sun 21-Apr-13 16:30:48

Is she the one who was on Celeb BB as well? Horribly thin? Angry? Self-absorbed? She was an utter cow. And a loon.

did she really threaten to glass someone on CDWM? shock

Arf at 'filthy fridge' How did you manage to spot that Gerrof? did you have binoculars? grin

TheRealFellatio Sun 21-Apr-13 16:31:06

Oh Dave Lamb's a hoot, isn't he?

Jude89 Sun 21-Apr-13 17:34:59

No, you're all wrong, the best episode was the one where the wannabe glamour model made sausage trifle.

Gerrof Sun 21-Apr-13 17:46:56

Manchester tart woman opened her fridge and you could see inside. It was grubby and full of jars which you just KNOW would her crusty lids.

TheRealFellatio Sun 21-Apr-13 19:07:24

Do mean Sausage Mountain Jude? That was Vic Reeves's wife Nancy thingumbob. She was really funny. It was basically a pile of mash with a few sausages standing up in it.

TheRealFellatio Sun 21-Apr-13 19:08:00


I knew the minute I opened this thread that Dawn from Preston would be mentioned!

Does anyone else remember the mayoress who burped loads & kept snogging the hairdresser?

I hate it when you see an awesome group of people & just want to be friends with them & know you never will be.

moondog Sun 21-Apr-13 19:12:54

Gerrof, the CDWM episode where the guy puts the cheese in his pocket has acquired cult status here chez Moondog. I have even inducted my hip young continental nieces and nephews and they love it too.

The contestants too knowing now but earlier episodes are just superb.
Noone can cook of course (can anyone in the UK?) and all seem to think that flaccid mange tout are an appropriate accompaniment to anything.

moondog Sun 21-Apr-13 19:13:24

Burping mayoress was excellent too.

Gerrof Sun 21-Apr-13 19:24:56

Moondog I have searched in vain for that episode on the Internet to show dd. I love the look on the faces of those poor cheese victims as they eat that vile concoction.

You are a clean freak as well. Do you notice filthy fridges and cooker as well and cringe or is it just me in my weirdness.

moondog Sun 21-Apr-13 19:36:32

grin grin grin
We refer to it frequently with shrieks of laughter.
Wasn't he a Brummie too which augments the wince factor?
(I may be making this up.)

It must be there, I am sure my niece has shown it to her mates at the Sorbonne. (Would love to have seen their faces.) Nephes and nieces tell me French version is deadly serious and competitive. No piss artistry,fighting, or terrible cooking.

God, I love the British. Best place to live in the whole world.

Finney2 Sun 21-Apr-13 19:38:59

I grew up a few houses down from Dawn's house in Lostock Hall.

I can confirm that IRL she is a complete loon.

Gerrof Sun 21-Apr-13 19:40:18

Haha at Brummie accent adding to it, yes I am sure he was.

Incan imagine that the French version would be ultra serious.

Good old England.

My other guilty pleasure is Hotel Insector with Alex Polizzi. The look on that woman's face when confronted with these hell holes is a picture,

cornydash Sun 21-Apr-13 19:41:52

the cheesy balls man was vile. The other contestants were so polite about it!

I saw the Margie Clarke one but missed Jasmine threatening to glass someone shock

I remember Marcus Collins was a really good cook, but he did that, 'I 'ad to learn to mam was always at work,' thing that annoyed me.

moondog Sun 21-Apr-13 19:42:40

Un diner presque parfait

moondog Sun 21-Apr-13 19:43:33

Haven't seen hotel one but can imagine it is fab.
I am stuck in a YBF rut which doesn't bother me as I love it.
Harry hILL IS SURreal genius.

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 21-Apr-13 19:43:58

Cheesy pockets was from Brum. His name was Mike. Also in his set was that monumentally thick girl, called Katie.

WallyBantersYoniBox Sun 21-Apr-13 19:44:30

I could watch a few of the episodes again and again:

There was a West Indian guy who made a starter of sausage and mash in an egg cup? Just an egg cup of mash with a sausage to scoop the mash out with. And then when he was waiting for the main course to cook he fell asleep in a little ball on the floor by the cooker.

That horsey girl who'd married a rich city trader, she was raving about her steamer and put whole dirty carrots in it to cook. When she got a low score, she called everyone peasants.

It's funny, I said to my husband earlier that I preferred the contestants who were friendly and had fun than the sniper ones.

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 21-Apr-13 19:45:51

cornydash - they didn't air the glassing threat. In fact they didn't explain it at all in the show, but it was writtten about in the press.

moondog Sun 21-Apr-13 19:47:40

It had to be that, or Brian.
Do you know which series it was in?

cornydash Sun 21-Apr-13 19:48:32

oh thanks hazel. That jasmine is awful - she was vile on celeb BB as well.

Southeastdweller Sun 21-Apr-13 19:51:13

I liked the one in Liverpool where the vegan converted someone and the vegan lady cried when he told her he wasn't going to have dairy from then on because of what she told him.

The Christmas one in York is another favourite, I think because I loved Maria's menu and she reminded me much of myself us both being a little pretentious. I think I cried when she did when she found out she won. Her husband seemed nice - does anyone remember him knocking on the neighbours' doors asking for an egg?

I agree that the people are too knowing now. The earlier ones are so much better.

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 21-Apr-13 19:52:58

clicky here for some cheesy pocketed joy

NB series 12, eps 17-20. Mike is 20.

cocolepew Sun 21-Apr-13 19:59:45

I remember the one were there was a young guy on it who thought he was some sort of high flying millionaire. He was a pretenious (sp) knob. When they went to his flat the ladies took great delight in finding his bath was dirty. I think he was particularly horrible to one lady in particular.

Gerrof Sun 21-Apr-13 20:03:08

Haha that episode is o. 4OD, series 12 episode 20, Mike from Birmingham.

Gerrof Sun 21-Apr-13 20:05:08

X posts, just been searching for that. Good old Mike from Birmingham.

Gerrof Sun 21-Apr-13 20:06:25

Yes to Harry Hills wonderful commentary on YBF. I love it where he says people on the videos look like random slebs like Benny from Crossroads, Judy Finnegan etc.

CoalDustWoman Sun 21-Apr-13 20:11:28

The camp bloke on the road kill episode is a rampant dogger, got found out my his wife and is now shacked up with his boyfriend.

None of these were a surprise to me when i found out, I have to say.

AViewFromTheFridge Sun 21-Apr-13 20:12:21

The burping mayoress was from East Lancashire - the object of her desires calle himself Sunbed Jonny I think.

My favourite one is the snake one - it was such a great combination of people! Think it was from York, and as well as snakewoman there was an older lady who kept flaunting her body, a ridiculous chauvinist and a softly-spoken playwright - I love it. I bet the researchers have great fun matching these people up.

moondog Sun 21-Apr-13 20:14:28

Thanks Hazel!
Oh have just remembered that other goody.
That weird humourless bloke with a goatee and all those stinking animals.
Then the women guests found a cat poo in the house and one started gagging.
He was foul.

WalkingEasterEgg Sun 21-Apr-13 20:42:23

My absolute favourite is the one with drunk Chyna but for anyone else remember a woman making a pie with a face on it called "strange thing"? That is my close second (I'm a loser) xx

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 21-Apr-13 20:45:59

walking chyna was hilarious was even more amusing when the man on the next night had a tee total night.

I remember the strange thing as well

deste Sun 21-Apr-13 20:59:40

I remember watching one with Nadia from big brother. Every time she opened her door to guests I kept thinking that the street looked familiar. I then realised they were filming in my DDs road and could see her front door and car. It was not Nadias house it was one of the film
crews house.

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 21-Apr-13 21:18:22

Ooh, I liked strange thing lady. She was an anthropologist or similar, wasn't she? I could have nosed around her house forever.

GeekLove Sun 21-Apr-13 21:22:07

I remember the snake episode. Especially when the misoginist said with pride that he had never read a book. I also remember the older women who kept going on about how beautiful she was although it was hard to tell as he default expression was of a bulldog chewing wasps.

GeekLove Sun 21-Apr-13 21:24:41

Was it the one with the block who kept taking the piss out of everyone and who kept his cereal in the bathroom?
I got the feeling he never cooked but felt it had to be easy as it was a women's job.

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 21-Apr-13 21:33:03

hazel I thought she was fascinating still don't understand why she decided to cook so many dishes. The Italian estate agent on the same one made mine skin crawl he was so slimey

cocolepew Sun 21-Apr-13 21:33:30

Hmm I can't really remember Geek. He was married with a young baby and was a knob <helpful>.
Then there was the Italian hairdresser with the photo of his wife in handcuffs and her arse on show.

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 21-Apr-13 21:34:38

geek I had forgotten her I think she was called farunda her clothes looked like she bought them from a specialist catalogue

moondog Sun 21-Apr-13 22:25:54

Yes, she was well weird.

cornydash Mon 22-Apr-13 00:17:26

I remember the bloke who kept his cornflakes in the bathroom.

Was the snake one the episode where the snake pooed on the table?

moondog Mon 22-Apr-13 07:41:50

Yes it was.

mrsjay Mon 22-Apr-13 08:58:18

Ruffles - that Margi Clarke one... It was Jasmine Lennard (skinny no-mark who one allegedly shagged Simon Cowell) who was chucked off. She had a row with Marcus Collins, then Benidorm lady stuck up for him. Then JAsmine threatened to glass Benidorm lady.

no way shock she is a loon though she was on celeb big brother a complete loose cannon. I have seen the episode they just said they pulled out who knew CDWM could be so violent

Spice17 Sun 28-Apr-13 20:37:45

Wow, just come back to this and loving all the fave episode comments, bringing it all back.

DH asked me to put on here about the one where a scottish guy called 'Bob Caulder' keeps randomly saying his own name and is then seemingly a bit too enamoured with a drag queen called 'Cherry Bakewell' (he's staright and married --and middle aged--)

PS I also LOVE Homes under the Hammer, Escape to the Country and Relocation - what I life I lead!

Spice17 Sun 28-Apr-13 20:38:35

Strikethrough fail blush

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