To tell this woman to stop bloody tutting and shaking her head at me?

(280 Posts)
FigaroCat Mon 15-Apr-13 16:18:43

I was friends with a mum from the school run for a couple of years. Our DDs are friends and are in the same class most years. I wouldn't say we were very close friends but we got on well, met up regularly with the girls, and often texted or phoned each other.

About 6 months ago the mum stopped talking to me, almost overnight. If I went up to her at the school to talk she would just walk off, and texts were ignored. I tried to speak to her a couple of times and ask if I'd upset her at all but she just ignored me, and she now walks straight past me if she sees me, with her nose in the air.

Fair enough, I don't think I've done anything wrong at all but her choice who she's friends with and all that. However....she works 3 days a week and her mother, who is in her late fifties, does the school run for her. I previously got on well with her mother and we'd have a bit of a chat and small talk at the school. Since my friend stopped talking to me, her mother has done so too. Again no huge loss, but every time she sees me she starts shaking her head, and tutting at me.

We were just walking home from school an hour ago and my friend's daughter was behind us and called DD's name. DD turned round and waved, and I turned round too, and my friend's mum was glaring at me, tutting, shaking her head. She often tries to get eye contact with me on the school run, for example if I am talking to another mum she walks past me, looks at me and again loudly tuts, shakes her head, and glares at me. Also at the end of the Easter term there was an assembly, which my friend's mum went to, and again there as she walked past me to sit down she glared at me and shook her head.

It's like I've done something terrible and sordid and I absolutely disgust her. I don't much care now as to what they think I've done, as my ex friend's childish approach to things has made me realise she's not worth bothering about but her mum is really pissing me off.

WIBU the next time she does it to tell her to bloody well stop doing it and to get a life? DH says to ignore her but that's easier said than done!

PregnantPain Mon 15-Apr-13 16:20:48

I would be seriously considering asking what exactly her problem is, the batty cow.

edwardsmum11 Mon 15-Apr-13 16:22:11

Lol I'd be tempted to do in return... sounds several slices short of a full loaf tbh.

I would say "Either have the courage to tell me what I have done wrong or stop tutting so rudely at me every time you see me!"

EuroShaggleton Mon 15-Apr-13 16:22:26

I'd have to try to find out what on earth she thought I had done.

moonabove Mon 15-Apr-13 16:23:00

That would drive me nuts so YANBU. Definitely ask them to tell you what the problem is and stop being so bloody childish.

Have you really not got a clue what it could be about? Seems an extreme reaction and dragged on so long, surely it must be something fairly big.

Sugarice Mon 15-Apr-13 16:23:01

I couldn't ignore it and would have to say something.

Something along the lines of 'If you've got something to say bloody well say it as your tutting and glaring is getting right on my tits!'

Be prepared for when you expect to see her next.

NatashaBee Mon 15-Apr-13 16:23:45

I would ask her what her problem is, preferably in front of as many people as possible. Say you can't think what you could possibly have done to upset her, but whatever it is, you'd like the chance to know what it is so you can make amends.

FigaroCat Mon 15-Apr-13 16:24:11

Nope, not a clue moonabove. Seriously.

If I'd have run off with her husband or committed fraud on her bank account I'd understand it, but one day she was talking to me, the next day she wasn't.

daisydoodoo Mon 15-Apr-13 16:24:23

Id want to do as sdt says.

sweetiepie1979 Mon 15-Apr-13 16:24:43

Yes for goodness sake ask the woman straight out why ate yu tutti g at me have I fine something wrong? Please tell me what it is if she doesn't answer you ask some of the other mums

IYoniWantToBeWithYou Mon 15-Apr-13 16:24:46

I would want to find out my 'crime' but in reality I would just laugh every time she tutted to annoy her even more. Can you remember the last conversation you had with her?

I'm afraid to say (classy as Maid M is) I would be asking her in my roughest Yorkshire accent just what in the frig was wrong with her!! She is passive aggressive to say the least. How dare she draw attention to you in this way while going about your daily business?

On the other hand, I fear she may have been fed incorrect info about you, thus her dislike for you would be misplaced.....

Say something. You don't have to make a scene. I find people take more notice of me when I'm calm and not swearing and shouting!! Not that I'm a fishwife or anything blush

Eskino Mon 15-Apr-13 16:25:42

I'd be dying to know what I'd done, in your situation. In fact I am dying to know what you've done. You must ask her, and get back to us grin

moonabove Mon 15-Apr-13 16:27:23

That's so weird - it's already driving me nuts and it's nothing to do with me! I can only assume it's something to do with her DD.

What was she like when you were friends? Was she the type who's always got a problem with someone or other?

FigaroCat Mon 15-Apr-13 16:30:34

Yeah she seems to have problems with lots of people, but of course it's never her fault.

I truly cannot think of what I've done to cause so much offence and upset. I'm not really much of a school gate socialiser, I'm not into gossip or he said/she said kind of crap. I don't think there have been any problems between the girls, or at least if there have DD hasn't mentioned anything and they've always seemed friends.

I'm definitely going to say something to the gran the next time she starts huffing and glaring. I've ignored her so far as I thought she'd probably get bored after a while, but it really irritated me when she did it today.

quoteunquote Mon 15-Apr-13 16:31:57

"Either have the courage to tell me what I have done wrong or stop tutting so rudely at me every time you see me!"

this ^^

or blow her kisses every time you she does a tut.

ask her mum what you did to upset them?

catgirl1976 Mon 15-Apr-13 16:35:44

That's so random

They obviously think you've done something

I would be intrigued. But they sound batty.

I would be tempted to start doing something really odd back. smile I like the blowing kisses idea from quote

Or maybe just whispering random words, like 'gazebo' at them

nancerama Mon 15-Apr-13 16:37:55

Please challenge crazy lady and her mother. I need to know.

moonabove Mon 15-Apr-13 16:40:51

The fact thatshe's got the Mum involved as well seems to suggest it must be fairly significant, at least in her mind. Then again, as they're behaving in exactly the same way I presume it was the Mum who taught her this kind of passive-aggressive bollocks!

If it's not the girls then perhaps she took some remark you made and went away and brooded on it? I actually think you've been pretty tolerant if it's been going on for 6 months.

You're going to need to be quite calm though when/if she or the Mum says what the problem is - either it's going to be based on a lie or it's something so trivial any normal person would have forgotten it.

Thurlow Mon 15-Apr-13 16:41:40

You have to ask. Purely because now we need to know too.

MrsDeVere Mon 15-Apr-13 16:43:18

Someone did something like that to me once.
She had a row with someone we were both friends with.
The next day she just stopped talking to me.
It was quite a feat as we were at a play group and sitting opposite each other for 2 hours.

I had to admire her technique.

Never said a word from that day to this.

I made it into a game. I used to walk next to her whenever possible. Keeping in time. I saw her every day so I got quite good at it.

Twas hilarious.

Can you go and stand next to this mad woman and beam at her?

MrsDeVere Mon 15-Apr-13 16:44:23

and yy to needing to know.
You HAVE to ask her.

'I have noticed you tutting and glaring at me. May I ask why you are doing that?' <sweet smile>

digerd Mon 15-Apr-13 16:44:41

I am very suspicious that somebody has been stirring to break up your friendly aquaintance. Telling malicious lies about you.?

That would upset me very much how she ' walks past with her nose in the air you and ignores you and her mum tut tuts you'

I would have to find out what the matter is.

That is horrible.

DearJohnLoveSavannah Mon 15-Apr-13 16:45:04

I would say "Either have the courage to tell me what I have done wrong or stop tutting so rudely at me every time you see me!"

Say this definitely!

You will hopefully get your answer for whatever "appalling" thing you have done. Or it will bring her up on her childish behaviour.

Phineyj Mon 15-Apr-13 16:50:04

I had a colleague do this too me once. I still have no idea what I did!

Phineyj Mon 15-Apr-13 16:50:42

to me

It must be hard to ask if they just ignore you. I would aim for the mother first, and just go up, don't even say hello, and ask what have you dine wrong.

If they ignore you etc; then I'd say ask another mum, if she has history for stuff like this and is prepared to pull her mother into all of this and be so dramatic, she might have moaned about you to others?

Kinnane Mon 15-Apr-13 16:55:59

Could you call at her house and say how much you would like to sort out this misunderstanding. Life is way too short to just let it fester on for ever. It is hard to do it but I hope you will be brave and take the lead!!

I would definitely have to know!
It the mother is on board your crime must be serious..

foslady Mon 15-Apr-13 16:59:57

I had a male work colleague who overnight stopped talking to me. I had absolutely NO idea why. In the end I'd go in say 'Morning, everyone - oh sorry Mr X, you're not talking to me are you, so best just ignore me then, Morning everyone EXCEPT X!' Eventually everyone in the small office agreed it was ridiculous but they had been sworn to secrecy to why he wouldn't talk ffs!!!! Eventually a manager intervened and the pair of us went too sort it out.

My crime. I was the only female left after the other one left on maternity leave and he didn't want to get upset by me leaving to have a baby.......not that I was planning to get pregnant at all!!!! grin

kneedeepindaisies Mon 15-Apr-13 17:06:37

grin At saying random words like gazebo.

Just smile and say hello whenever you see them. Preferably in front of other mums. Then they'll either have to acknowledge you or be out right rude.

montage Mon 15-Apr-13 17:10:21

If she's not willing to tell you directly , could you have someone suggest she stick it on here as an AIBU?

"AIBU to tut and shake my head at my former friend instead of speaking to her?" That ought to do it. You can then burst onto the thread in one of those great dramatic "that's me you're talking about!" moments.

If it all goes as planned she may get Thread of The Day.

You've done well to get this far without confronting her. I would have asked exactly what her problem was on about day 2.

Please ask tomorrow and update us!!

milkwasabadchoice Mon 15-Apr-13 17:14:54

Oh please challenge her - I want to know what extra bad thing you've done! Maybe you parked in her space, or made a better lemon drizzle cake, or maybe your dd is on a higher reading level, or some other atrocious sin. TUT.

Jbck Mon 15-Apr-13 17:18:10

Agree, confront in a 'nice as pie' manner, in front of others if possible. Surely, if its that obvious somebody else must notice her doing it. i'd be desperate to know if I witnessed it never mind if she was doing it to me.

TigerSwallowtail Mon 15-Apr-13 17:19:35

Confront her and ask what her problem is. Of you don't feel up to confronting her then from now on every time she tuts at you give her a wink and a smile wink.

Or you could just say next time she tuts ' such a shame me sleeping with your husband has ruined our friendship. He wasn't even any good in bed anyway.!'

Or something less evil..

EugenesAxe Mon 15-Apr-13 17:27:14

What SDT reasonably and succinctly said. YANBU! She sounds a tit.

Gerrof Mon 15-Apr-13 17:28:06

Oh, flash her. Give her something to tut at.

sue52 Mon 15-Apr-13 17:28:08

Could it be about a minor spat your DDs have had and more than likely forgotten all about? Some parents take these things to a quite ridiculous level.

YooHooYoniMe Mon 15-Apr-13 17:30:14

She sounds like my nightmare flatmate from university who just woke up one day and decided she hated me. She pulled a 'saddened and disappointed' face every time I walked into the kitchen. I asked her many times what the problem was and she just flannelled. The best she could ever manage was a false accusation of scratching her wok.

The line, "she seems to have problems with lots of people, but of course it's never her fault", was exactly true of her too. I had in the past been surprised that she was so often wronged by perfectly nice-seeming people confused. Looking back, I think the whole performance was a way of cementing other friendships, because she was VERY keen to be liked and she used her 'hurt' at what some people had supposedly done to her as a way of tying others to her side.

Dunno if any of this is relevant in this case, of course. There was a thread a while back where the OP confronted a friend who was shutting her out and it turned out that she'd been spun a bizarre malicious lie by a third party, so you never can tell. I really think we you need to know!

MardyBra Mon 15-Apr-13 17:30:23

<makes note to never get on the wrong side of MrsDV>

pigletmania Mon 15-Apr-13 17:34:29

Yes I agree with SDt ad dearjohn, ask her what her bloody problem is

zzzexhaustedzzz Mon 15-Apr-13 17:37:11

We all want to know, so please ask her as calmly as you can!
Honestly, I have had similar things happen with parents of my son's friends at primary school. One parent even offered to 'fucking bray' me as my son was allegedly bullying hers. When I investigated at school I found out that it was infact another child being the bully and this intelligent lady had mistaken me for his mum. The school mums mafia at that school did not like my face. As Sue says, some people take their children's spats wayyy to seriously and do not know how to handle them, ie regress to the playground themselves!

Viviennemary Mon 15-Apr-13 17:37:31

She sounds ridiculous. Go up and say what is your problem. And will you please stop this idiotic tutting. (I probably wouldn't have the courage to do that but it's what she needs.) Or just copy what she does. Playground stuff. grin

SarahAndFuck Mon 15-Apr-13 17:38:07

The ex-friends mother is absolutely dying to tell you what's wrong OP, she's doing everything she can to encourage you to ask.

I'd have to ask what her problem is too but that's probably exactly what she's waiting for. Make sure you're well a away from school before you say anything.

Corygal Mon 15-Apr-13 17:40:24

I wouldn't approach her - she sounds barmy.

I reckon it would be utterly futile to ask the Mum what her problem is. She'll go all cats bum mouth and stick her chest out and bluster something along the lines of 'how dare you be so rude to me, of course you know what you've done' and storm off to bitch about you with your 'friend' over a cup of tea.

You need to ask your 'friend' or let it lie but please please ask her because I want to know!

ihearsounds Mon 15-Apr-13 17:43:43

I would have asked 6 months ago what I did. No way would I have just let it continue especially with a third person tutting all the time.

YoniMcShoni Mon 15-Apr-13 17:47:55

You dont say how old the girls are but if they are still at primary school maybe it would be worth asking a teacher or TA (TAs are the fount of all school knowledge - fact) who might be able to tell you if this family has form for this sort of behaviour or even what huge crime you committed .

lunar1 Mon 15-Apr-13 17:51:20

I would have to confront her

OHforDUCKScake Mon 15-Apr-13 17:58:05

I agree with SarahandFuck sh is busting to tell you.

And Im busting to know. grin

WildlingPrincess Mon 15-Apr-13 17:59:18

Ask her if she's seen a doctor as she seems to have some kind of affliction where she tuts a lot.

YohedYoshoulderYonisandYotoes Mon 15-Apr-13 18:03:55

Could you get a T-Shirt saying 'You are mental' and when she looks at you and tuts, open your jacket, look at her and tut?

olgaga Mon 15-Apr-13 18:11:15

Is there a mutual acquaintance you can ask?

Has your DD noticed and made any comment?

Either way I'm dying to find out...

I think you are entitled to ask your the mum politely why she keeps pulling faces and shaking her head at you!

olgaga Mon 15-Apr-13 18:12:27

It's a good idea, asking the TA. Also, I found at my DD's primary the school office staff knew everything.

YohedYoshoulderYonisandYotoes Mon 15-Apr-13 18:13:41

Sorry could resist that.. actually this sounds horrible and a really shitty social thing to deal with - I suspect its just Mother bullying, but that is because my sister had a MIL who saw herself as 'powerful' because she was the village bitch and gossip - she did this 'turning' on people - it wasn't for a reason, it was because either she just fancied a new target or she viewed them as potentially well-liked. Often the 'reason' came later and usually it was made up. She is from an earlier time when this kind of control worked better than now but her daughters are exactly the same - have a negative story about everyone, usually before they have even met them.

Its just what is sometimes called 'female' bullying - i.e rumour, exclusion, rather than physical - not that that is a useful term but you can perhaps see what I mean.

Mocking can be quite good, tutting as well in a silly exaggerated manner, but I found saying 'its sad really, but she can't help it because she has dementia' then being super patronisingly nice and 'patient' with the disapproval along with getting on famously with her friends.

Any bully wants you to feel unnerved and everyone around them to join in. Don't let them!

Also just say something direct to the mother, something like 'I don't know why you are getting at me, it was her who was dealing the coke, I just said I didn't want any' That will set the silly bat's mind racing

extracrunchy Mon 15-Apr-13 18:17:43

Ugh that would drive me insane!! I really want to know what she thinks you've done...

Did you go to her house and not remove your shoes?

shock

Theicingontop Mon 15-Apr-13 18:18:15

"Do you have tourettes? I'm sorry, I had to ask, because I'd feel really awful if you did, and found out after I'd told you to shut your talk-hole."

But then I'm a cow like that.

Pleeeease come back and tell us what heinous crime you committed.

zzzzz Mon 15-Apr-13 18:22:23

Please please ask her!

vivizone Mon 15-Apr-13 18:25:35

OMG OP, how strange.

It would really bother me. You Definitely have my sympathy!

flaminghoopsaloohlah Mon 15-Apr-13 18:26:33

I'd just completely ignore it TBH - you're likely to get, at best, blustering or denial (highly likely if the stupid PA behaviour is to be counted) or you'll get a barrage of insults.

It's their problem, let them angst over it. You've got much better things to do...like breezing past ignoring it all smile

Euphemia Mon 15-Apr-13 18:32:59

Oooh please ask her as I'd never be brave enough. grin

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Mon 15-Apr-13 18:33:30

I too could never have let this drift so long. Glad you're going ask her what it's about.

toffeelolly Mon 15-Apr-13 18:39:35

I would be asking what there problem is. What childish behaviour, please find out and let us know. Feel sorry for you you should not have to put up with this every day you do the school run. Good luck.

Please ask, I'm marking a spot so I can find out what your crime is.

Ledkr Mon 15-Apr-13 19:06:36

"Look. I have absolutely no idea what your problem is with me, so when you keep tutting and shaking your head it means nothing to me but just makes you look ridiculous in front of your grandchildren and other people.
If you do have some Problem with me then let's hear it before your flipping head rolls off from all the shaking"
Don't forget to stand making eye contact for more time than is comfortable afterwards.
Bullies hate to be confronted.

Theala Mon 15-Apr-13 19:14:31

do what ledkr said. and then come back and tell us what happened.

auntpetunia Mon 15-Apr-13 19:15:14

It will be nothing! My friend of 34 years decided 18 months ago that I didn't pay enough attention to her and new boyfriend on group night out and that I was always dismissive of anything she said. She waited 6 weeks after the night out to send me and all friends a text saying she was deleting me from her fb for the above reasons …all friends told her and me she was nuts made no difference she was adamant and did the whole I understand if you want to choose Petunia over me!

Load of nonsense and this will be the same your better off without friends like that, it's been hard for me to loose such a long-standing friend but I really couldn't be doing with such childish behavior.

Definitely ask. We had neighbours once who started ignoring me for no reason that I could see and I ended up having a hilarious 'conversation' with them that went:

Me: Hello!
Neighbour: ---<scowl>
Me: I said, hello!
Neighbour: <studious ignoring>
Me: Excuse me, I said hello to you-it's rude to just ignore me.
Neighbour: <evil stare> Hello. <scuttle into flat>

Yep do what ledkr said. Then when it's something totally pathetic like in auntpetunia's case you can shake your head with disdain and say 'is that it? Because honestly given your reaction I was convinced I must have slept walked round to your house and shagged your husband or something'

BlackeyedSusan Mon 15-Apr-13 19:21:31

i would really piss her off.. by smuiling and waving and sying a cheery hello, nice day/bit cold/very rainy today preferably in front of lots of people. grin

This happened to me once with an ex flatmate. I repeatedly asked what I had done wrong and the only response I got was 'don't pretend you don't know' ... 25 years later it still winds me up when I think about it, so please do confront both of them and come back and tell us what it was - it'll make me feel better in an odd way confused

SoggySummer Mon 15-Apr-13 19:27:31

She sounds nuts. I think I would have asked her before now what her problem was.

You probably wont get an answer from her but it will piss her off - being confronted, she wont be expecting it after 6 months.

Fudgemallowdelight Mon 15-Apr-13 19:29:45

It'll probably be child related.

helenthemadex Mon 15-Apr-13 19:31:54

you have to ask her it will drive us all you mad not knowing

Op I am intrigued smile

Wishfulmakeupping Mon 15-Apr-13 19:39:04

I'm so intrigued too- we have to know you must ask the mother OP

Euphemia Mon 15-Apr-13 19:39:39

I bet one of the DCs has said something to the mum, like "Pal's mum says she thinks you're a stuck-up cow," or something equally bonkers.

ChasedByBees Mon 15-Apr-13 19:41:55

I need to know now too.

WildThongIWannaKnowForSure Mon 15-Apr-13 19:52:34

Or just say 'I have no idea why you and your daughter are being so rude to me, if you haven't the courage to speak to me about it then please stick your tut up your arse'

Sounds like a horrible way for them to treat you.

Greenkit Mon 15-Apr-13 20:01:02

Please ring right now ask her tomorrow grin

Ledkr Mon 15-Apr-13 20:05:33

Have you got some scary friends (think fat slags from viz) take them to the school run and all give her "lairys" while chewing gum open mouthed and saying "wanna fucking picture gran?"
For full effect wear hair scraped back and massive hoop earrings.
grin
Just one option if you didn't like the other suggestion.

everlong Mon 15-Apr-13 20:11:16

Why have you took so long?

I'd have said ' oi face ache what's your problem ' long ago grin

Ask her tomorrow.

Ledkr Mon 15-Apr-13 20:24:36

Me too ever I'd have come over all fish wife. grin

BluddyNora Mon 15-Apr-13 20:28:37

Put dog poop under her car door handles grin

Each time she does it, say "what did you say that for?" Really loud. Of trip her up, either way.

ZacharyQuack Mon 15-Apr-13 20:29:34

Whenever you see the tutting mother, give her a big smile and wave and call out "Hello Doris" in a loud cheerful voice. Then when she glares and tuts, give her a sympathetic smile and head tilt and say "oh the poor old love" to anyone within earshot. It'll drive her wild

undercoverSAHM Mon 15-Apr-13 20:34:09

PlentyofPubeGardens Snap! The exact same thing happened to me once and when I asked what I had done, all I got back was "you know perfectly well what you have done". I had no idea. It really upset me for months (we had been - I thought - good friends) but then I found out that she had done it to lots of other people too so I got on with my life.....

OP you are taking this very well :-) I hope it all works out. She sounds completely batty and you are best off avoiding her.

MammaTJ Mon 15-Apr-13 20:36:04

Do what Ledkr said. Then report back.

Fudgemallowdelight Mon 15-Apr-13 20:37:29

Zachary Should the OP call her Doris even if it isn't her name? grin

Ledkr Mon 15-Apr-13 20:45:44

Ha ha yes call her Doris for absolutely no reason other than to annoy her!
That will learn her grin

LynetteScavo Mon 15-Apr-13 20:48:04

I'd say "are you this rude to everyone, or have I done something to offend you?

Actually, I'd probably ask someone else what their problem was, because I hate confrontation.

Ledkr Mon 15-Apr-13 20:51:41

Give her the number for the Tourette's support group. All that shaking and tutting.

zzzzz Mon 15-Apr-13 21:00:52

I really don't like the Tourette's comments. sad. It's a horrible condition.

Crocodilehunter Mon 15-Apr-13 21:10:24

Please confront and get back to us... I'm a nosy old hag and I'm intrigued grin

shockers Mon 15-Apr-13 21:35:18

I'm marking my place. I'm itching to know because something similar happened to me. Wonder if it's the same woman....

nettlefairy Mon 15-Apr-13 21:41:43

oooh - let me know what happens!

GoldenGreen Mon 15-Apr-13 21:43:53

I agree with zzzzz about the Tourette's comments, it's just not funny.

I also would very much like to know what these women think you have done!

AnyoneforTurps Mon 15-Apr-13 21:50:27

I would try to behave sensibly and ask her what the problem was but I would almost certainly end up doing something childish like blowing kisses or waving madly when I'm half a metre away from her.

Can you ask someone ELSE to ask her...you know, get friend to say "OH, that figaro she's a so and so with her leopard skin coat, tattooed neck and Dc with pierced noses. I hear she eats grapes in the supermarket without paying for them and once parked her buggy in a P&C car park space"

...and see what she says in return smile

SingingSands Mon 15-Apr-13 21:55:49

How infuriating! Next time she starts tutting and glaring, just breeze past with an airy "straighten your face you old trout".

I think you should modify this: "Either have the courage to tell me what I have done wrong or stop tutting so rudely at me every time you see me!"

to this: "Either have the courage to tell me what you think I have done wrong or stop tutting so rudely at me every time you see me!"

because if you genuinely can't remember anything it'll be their weird perception of something really trivial.

olgaga Mon 15-Apr-13 22:26:35

Blimey the suspense is killing me. OP, tell us where she lives and we'll all go round there and ask. Right now grin!

AllOverIt Mon 15-Apr-13 22:31:01

Please confront her and report back.

I'm desperate to know (I have no life....)

OTTMummA Mon 15-Apr-13 22:33:39

Blatantly marking here

GibberTheMonkey Mon 15-Apr-13 22:55:58

And me
I want to know what the hell is their problems

MagratOfStolat Mon 15-Apr-13 23:26:09

I am CRYING! Thread of the week!

Please, do all of the above. You need to confront her with a load of witnesses whilst scraping your hair back with hoop earrings and simultaneously smoking a fag and you need to call her Doris and an "old trout" and then when she tells you what she thinks you've done you need to tell her that you were worried you'd sleep-shagged her husband. And then blow her a kiss to finish.

Have I missed any?

SoftKittyWarmKitty Mon 15-Apr-13 23:46:32

OP, your ex-friend is a 'Wendy'. There are lots of them about, unfortunately - there was a big thread on here at the back end of last year where a lovely MN-er was being hideously Wendied. 'Wendy's' bully by exclusion and false rumour, and will not tell you what you're supposed to have done wrong. It's the Wendy's way of getting the sympathy and support of their followers, while at the same time ensuring that their followers stick with them, lest they become the next victim.

You can try confronting the mother, although like another poster said, you'll probably get either 'nothing's wrong, you're imagining it' or 'you know full well what you've done'. If you get an actual explanation, you'll be very lucky.

SarahAndFuck Mon 15-Apr-13 23:48:40

Is 'Wendy' from Blubber SoftKitty?

Tanith Tue 16-Apr-13 00:21:52

"I must just ask you why you keep tutting and twitching when I go past.
I don't really care myself; it's just that I started a thread about it on Mumsnet and they're all desperate to know grin"

I feel sorry for any poor woman who really is called Wendy now. confused

Lavenderhoney Tue 16-Apr-13 05:52:36

This happened to me once. No idea what I did. When I asked I just got " you know what you did, don't try to make out you don't know" and anyone else who asked was told " it's personal"

Good luck with finding out. Tutting would really annoy me and I would have to ask, preferably with a friend next to me!

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Tue 16-Apr-13 06:34:12

They do sound mental OP but the tutting would drive me insane!

I would have to know what's going on.

Mimishimi Tue 16-Apr-13 07:02:13

How strange. I would try to find out from someone else what terrible thing they think you have done.

MsAkimbo Tue 16-Apr-13 09:45:47

Guarantee you DD can find out for you. You just know this woman told her daughter.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Tue 16-Apr-13 09:52:39

Sarah I don't think it's from Blubber, but it's been well over 20 years since I read that so can't remember.

It's from this thread and it's predecessor.

BegoniaBampot Tue 16-Apr-13 10:41:06

next time she tuts just stand in front of her and tut right back. you could have tutting stand off in the playground. i'd pay good money for that. also like 'the old trout' approach and blowing kisses as i would be tempted to wind them us as much as possible.

Do not ask 'what have I done wrong' - sounds like you are asking for forgiveness or approval.

Suzietastic Tue 16-Apr-13 11:17:16

I'm with Begonia. You should have a 'tut off'.

TheCraicDealer Tue 16-Apr-13 12:01:16

You have to confront them!

Did you ask her to shit in a mug the last time you saw her? Because that's literally the only reason I can think of for this bi-generational hate campaign.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Tue 16-Apr-13 12:27:04

I remember Blubber - sooo well portrayed. Ask her if it's because you're a Flenser.

musicismylife Tue 16-Apr-13 12:47:20

It could be that she feels threatened by you. Perhaps her daughter has said that she wished her mum was more like you. Or, assuming she has a partner, maybe he's seen you and told her you are fit. Who knows?

If it is none of the above, then I just think that some people get a real thrill out of playing these 'games'. Purely to see how upset they can make you or see how you will rise to it. Very strange but it does happen. And as for the tutting, tell her to 'tut' off and don't even look in her direction in future, that will frustrate her even more.

I suspect that you are not the first person she has done this to and you will not be the last.

I know a poster mentioned asking your daughter, don't bother. Just rise above it all and be safe in the knowledge that you have not done a thing wrong and it will all come out in the end.

acceptableinthe80s Tue 16-Apr-13 12:52:51

No don't rise about above it, we all need to know!
grin at 'tut off'.
Please come back OP.

acceptableinthe80s Tue 16-Apr-13 12:53:26

no idea where that 'about' came from!

Can you remember what you were talking about last time you spoke with her?

Maybe you said something extremely rude, or divulged some secret without realizing?

My mum once did that, she was talking to her brother about his villa in Spain. His wife was there A LOT, and my mum laughed and said "oh she probably has to keep the pool boy company" something silly that they both laughed about at the time. Then my uncle told his wife what mum had said. Turned out to be pretty close to the truth. The got divorced shortly after.

5Foot5 Tue 16-Apr-13 13:13:39

OP, your ex-friend is a 'Wendy'

Oi what is your problem with Wendys? I have a lovely sister called Wendy and she would never behave like that!!!

Timetoask Tue 16-Apr-13 13:38:36

OP, how annoying for you!!!
I wouldn't say a thing to them, it will make them think they are too important.

Just make sure you COMPLETELY IGNORE the mother, never make eye contact at all, as if she doesn't exist. Oh, and when you see her with the little girl, make a point of talking directly to little girl and say "Hello Emily how are you, are you enjoying school?, well done, bla,bla,bla" but never look at the grandmother...

louisianablue2000 Tue 16-Apr-13 13:51:03

Much as it's fun to speculate on your terrible crime I think the best thing to do is ignore the old bat and hopefully she'll eventually get bored or forget. Agree, continue to be extra nice to DD's friend.

olgaga Tue 16-Apr-13 15:09:11

OP did you see them today?

Come on, we're gagging to know.

PoohBearsHole Tue 16-Apr-13 15:20:23

I am shamelessly marking my place as I am so nosy!!

Moominsarehippos Tue 16-Apr-13 15:23:48

I'd ask her or try to find out is a third party. The not knowing would drive me nuts. I suspect her child has passed on some nugget of information real or not to her mum and its gone down the wrong way.

LimitedEditionLady Tue 16-Apr-13 15:27:04

Id say "theres no point bloody tutting at me because i dont know what you are tutting at!!!it kind of defeats the object expressing your disgust if you dont tell me what it is!!" Theyre a bit weird arent they.self righteous tutting busy bodies.breathe.

TheRealFellatio Tue 16-Apr-13 15:27:28

I am the world's least confrontational person but seriously I would have to stop her and ask her WTF is going on!

shesariver Tue 16-Apr-13 15:32:36

I would definitely say something, like you its easier said than done to ignore. They obviously believe something bad about you and that would concern me, either that or they just really are bonkers.

HopingItllBeOK Tue 16-Apr-13 15:35:11

I used to have a neighbour who Wendied me. She actually was called Wendy too. Epic.

Rather than ask the mother, definitely loudly ask the ex friend instead. Something along the lines of "I don't know what you think I've done, but please stop gossiping about me to your mother. The way she tuts and head shakes at me all the time, people are going to think she's having a fit".

If you ask the mother, you'll just get fobbed off with how it's not her business to tell and it'll give the ex friend a heads up and a chance to make up a reason before you can confront her. Catch her on the hop.

Then report back. Shall we start a book on likely responses? Evens on "you KNOW what you did". 3/1 on it being some comment her DD has made and 15/3 on the sleepwalking husband shagging.

Nagoo Tue 16-Apr-13 15:58:23

Everything has been said, so I'm just rubbernecking now grin

Moominsarehippos Tue 16-Apr-13 16:00:59

I love the fact that this behaviouir actually has a name!

flaminghoopsaloohlah Tue 16-Apr-13 16:02:33

18/1 that OP wore an outfit of some sort that was too like an outfit "Wendy" had.

Moominsarehippos Tue 16-Apr-13 16:05:47

100/1 she found out the OPs mumsnet name and she's started a thread about something unsavoury.

Shamelessly lurking :/

Proves that people don't grow up even after they have children. The grandmother/tutter is worse than the mum!! Should be ashamed of herself sad

I also love the fact it has a name. Sounds like an acronym.
Softkittywarmkitty, can you explain the origin of it being called 'Wendying' ?.....
Offering support as there is nothing worse than this sort of behaviour.

Another thing to say to the tutter: 'sorry, how old did you say you were/how old are you?'

SarahAndFuck Tue 16-Apr-13 17:36:35

Wendy was the bully in Blubber and Jill thought she was her friend at first. But Wendy was the one who put rotten eggs in someone's mailbox and told Jill to go and look, then blamed Jill for putting them there and then denied it. When confronted, she was very good at pretending nothing was wrong and passing on the blame to someone else. And she bullied poor Linda and forced the class to hold a trial for her, then turned on Jill when she said it was going too far. And all the other children were scared to go against her in case she made something up about them and they were turned on by their friends.

When I read that the OP's ex friend and her mad mother were Wendy's that was the first thing I thought of, although it's been many, many years since I read Blubber.

Just reading the other thread now though, to see if anyone else brings Judy Blume books into the discussion or if it's just me. grin

How was it today OP? Did you say anything?

Ooh ok, never heard of blubber blush but thanks sarah for enlightening mesmile

Yes, OP, how did it go today?

thelongandwindingroad Tue 16-Apr-13 18:18:02

I just have to know when you've spoken to her

zzzzz Tue 16-Apr-13 18:35:17

Do you think OP Sid something and the old titter tutter flipped and "got" her??? shock

zzzzz Tue 16-Apr-13 18:35:59

SAID something not Sid grrrr

DuchessFanny Tue 16-Apr-13 19:46:16

Can't believe how some people act ( and how badly i need to know what their problem is )

MooMooSkit Tue 16-Apr-13 19:57:13

Read all of this and no reply! I NEED to know!

Rosesforrosie Tue 16-Apr-13 19:58:10

Any update? <nosy>

Wingdingdong Tue 16-Apr-13 20:01:44

I think the OP gave the friend's DD a Fruit Shoot.

Moominsarehippos Tue 16-Apr-13 20:09:25

Or a Greggs sausage roll? Cola in a sippy cup? Grab bag of crisps? Tshirt that says 'Future WAG'? Cocaine, on no, the other one... currants (a nod to the Father Ted thread). We need to know.

riskit4abiskit Tue 16-Apr-13 20:28:16

(totally off topic - love blubber and judy blume generally)!

Also am dying to know what you have 'done.'

BatmanLovesVodkaAndCherryade Tue 16-Apr-13 20:55:02

Punched a cake?

Did the school run in pyjamas?

Offered pom bears at a dinner party?

Wannabestepfordwife Tue 16-Apr-13 21:19:35

Op that sounds awful it would make me feel really edgy and self conscious.

The mum and grandma sound as mad as cheese I hope the dd doesn't end up the same way

PoppyWearer Tue 16-Apr-13 21:23:24

<marks place>

We neeeeeeeeed to know!!!

Not coming back to update us? <<tuts, shakes head, runs away>>

zzzzz Tue 16-Apr-13 21:30:11

Perhaps she turned up at school and they were really nice and it was all a dream.

Bonners Tue 16-Apr-13 21:43:47

I'm so disappointed as an adult that this kind of behaviour still occurs. I waited for 20 years only to discover that many people never mature. sigh

I'm dying to know how you get on OP. I think you should tell her to "grow up and f@*& off".

lottieandmia Tue 16-Apr-13 21:45:55

I have no idea why people behave like this - it is just so childish.

WaitingForStatement Tue 16-Apr-13 23:07:41

OP are you wearing see through leggings and flashing your pants on the school run?

bombyxmori Tue 16-Apr-13 23:39:43

The fact that so many of us are truly AGOG to know might suggest this is more common than we usually admit.

Yep, I come clean. Never did work out what I had done when best-est fiend, oops friend, suddenly blanked me and has done so ever since (>>>5 years now, I am amazed to calculate). I am dim so it took a while to register. But even I couldn't remain unaware when at a funeral, in front of loads of folk, ex-best-est blanked my eldest DD, who couldn't possibly have offended her because she had been out of the country for months and had come back specially for said funeral. Now whatever I'd done (NO idea, ceased to care a long time ago), maybe I deserved it, but to extend to my family? Ooo-errr. As per OP's case, this was weird behaviour. More unfortunately, ex-best-est's precious DD then started to behave unfortunately towards my far-younger DD, which was very difficult. At this point I stopped treating it as a bizarre joke but could do no more than offer support to little DD. To younger DD's credit, she weathered a v difficult situation and has recently extended the olive branch, many years on, to ex-best-est's DD, who after all was only a product of her environment. I am proud of her. I am also proud of older DD who has not forgiven.

OP, stay strong, we're with you. It will be nothing you've done, it'll be something going on in ex-friend's head.

DionFortune Tue 16-Apr-13 23:53:21

Oh come on now OP, woman up and find out what's going on and hurry up and tell us! We all need to know, its not just about you, you know!

<huffs and flounces>

AllOverIt Wed 17-Apr-13 06:32:46

* drums fingers *

zzzzz Wed 17-Apr-13 08:32:14

Tut

Kikithecat Wed 17-Apr-13 08:49:39

Blimey I've just read the whole seven pages and still no denouement! I'm another one with a mystery blanker in my past so would love to hear someone else's result to get some vicarious closure.

Come on OP, either confront the tutty women or get someone off MN to do it!

Moominsarehippos Wed 17-Apr-13 08:58:55

Wellll? Any activity?

melika Wed 17-Apr-13 09:12:15

I too had a few blankers at my primary school, never did get to the bottom of it. These people must have thought they were above acknowledging me or passing the time of day.

I learned to ignore them back, very obviously, (and I will talk to ANYONE). In the end I decided I had nothing to be ashamed of, which I haven't!

Some people just don't like you, end of. Nothing personal.

I would love to know too, come on OP, come back and talk.

Moominsarehippos Wed 17-Apr-13 09:19:47

I sometimes blank - a combo of being very shy, having bad eyesight (so pains in eyes and headaches),ots of stress at home and my head up my derriere most of the time (so I just don't see people all the time!). If people smile or say hi, I do the same back, otherwise I bury my head in a book.

I don't tut or shake my head though!

Tee2072 Wed 17-Apr-13 09:27:30

When I get blanked by people I assume they have realised hey are not cool enough to talk to me and are saving themselves the heart ache.

Or I grin widely and speak to them anyway.

I actually had an ex-colleague do this recently at a casual lunch and I just kept chatting to him, even when he turned his back on me.

He looked like a loon.

Fecklessdizzy Wed 17-Apr-13 09:27:39

This happened to a mate of mine at pre-school ... A whole gang of trophy wives got the hump with her for no reason that anyone rational could discern. She was new to the village so it was pretty grim for her and her son as they didn't know anyone else.. The Botox Beauties have spent the last few years turning on each other on a rota basis so she feels a bit better about it now grin

I just read the whole thread and I need closure! ( actually I need to get back to trying to reassemble DS2's fish tank ... ) Please come back OP!

SinisterBuggyMonth Wed 17-Apr-13 09:34:16

Where is the op?
(tutts, shakes head)

FutTheShuckUp Wed 17-Apr-13 09:35:22

I too have suffered from a mystery blanker. Deleted off facebook. Asked if I had done something to upset- no nothing apparently. Yet all the other school mums not deleted from her fuckbook account. Meh, I smile and be super nice now- it confuses these strange folk

fromparistoberlin Wed 17-Apr-13 09:36:53

I also have a mystery blanker

also a school mum!!!!!

bit of a trend here......................

There will always be twats like this in life. Rise above it, ignore and walk past.
She isn't worth your time!

Angelico Wed 17-Apr-13 09:39:30

Some people are just twunts, aren't they? I still remember a girl at primary school who did this - she was a Janice not a Wendy grin Used to fall out with people in turn and her gang of lackeys would follow. Funnily enough she never actually decided to turn on me but she did turn on my best friend so I was ostracised when I stuck with friend. It only lasted a few days though, probably because friend and I were like confused 'WTF?!' rather than upset.

skippedtheripeoldmango Wed 17-Apr-13 09:41:02

I once had a friend who was in a mood with me because I'd, in her mind, bought the same car as her. I'd bought a Metro that was a cracking price...and she'd had one for about a year before me.

Judging by the complete pettiness of these two women, I'm guessing it will be something equally as ridiculous.

MakeHayNotStraw Wed 17-Apr-13 09:43:21

Wow - what a grown up. <sarcastic face>. OP, I really hope you managed to say something - and well done for not landing one on her before now!

<disclaimer: making a joke, not condoning violence...>

It's not always the female of the species either. DH's brother blanked us for a year once. All fixed now but the issue that caused it? - He didn't approve of the car we'd bought...

not marking place

olgaga Wed 17-Apr-13 09:49:37

Still no update? How disappointing. Come on OP, where are you?

<Tuts and shakes head>.

YouTheCat Wed 17-Apr-13 09:55:04

I don't think the OP should bother asking these silly women as she'll not get a straight answer out of them anyway.

I'd be super, extra nice to both of them. Chat, always say hello etc, as if you hadn't noticed what they are up to - that way they'll either cave and bluster that they aren't speaking because of whatever, or they'll be forced to be pleasant in return, or they'll just look like the vile, vindictive women they are.

It's a win all round though.

SinisterBuggyMonth Wed 17-Apr-13 09:59:30

I worked with a male version of Wendy (Wender?). Her used to suddenly blank colleagues for no reason, he went through half the company. Those of us he was talking to had to liaise with him on the blanked person. But he worked there for so long that eventually he would have to start talking to a blanked colleague if they showed no sign of leaving.

gabsid Wed 17-Apr-13 10:00:55

I didn't read the whole thread, but I couldn't ignore that. You said you tried to ask the mum what the matter was and she walked off.

MIL sound horrible, out to bully you? Could you walk up to her in front of others and ask for a word? Or in front of others, explain her behaviour and ask her why she does it and what the matter is? If she doesn't like you she could just go about her own business and you could do the same.

Are you still friends with someone mum or MIL are talking to? Could you ask them?

EarlyInTheMorning Wed 17-Apr-13 10:12:29

I'm in a very similar situation, only it is my sister not talking to me after spending a week with me over Christmas, which I felt went extremely well. I also don't like confrontation and fear that asking her what the problem is will open the doors to anger and character defamation (it has happened in the past). I feel that if I did something wrong she should have told me there and then or perhaps a week later, but it's been almost 4 months now. She lives abroad so we don't speak regularly anyway, but she has blatantly ignored my emails.

I do not agree with the posters that suggest you confront her aggressively but I also wouldn't know how to approach this. Good luck.

badbride Wed 17-Apr-13 12:03:15

I wouldn't bother confronting this lady. Far better, IMO, to pretend you haven't noticed the glares/tutting and instead wave cheerily and say hello every time you see her, invite her round for tea and such.

Your open, friendly behaviour will either shame her into behaving nicely, or rile her so much that she will eventually lose her rag and have a rant at you. Which will at least let you know the eason behind the weird behaviour.

sosooootired Wed 17-Apr-13 12:58:16

OP please update us - i keep checking this thread in hope. I need to know more!

helenthemadex Wed 17-Apr-13 16:15:51

tut tut tut

we need to know!

toffeelolly Wed 17-Apr-13 17:00:52

Wellwink

jiggles01 Wed 17-Apr-13 17:55:36

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat

mum47 Wed 17-Apr-13 20:10:15

What still nothing? This is agonising..

Perhaps there has been a "tut- off " which has led to a head shaking-related injury.

Purplefurrydice Wed 17-Apr-13 21:21:24

Maybe the excessive tutting has resulted in whiplash?

TeamEdward Wed 17-Apr-13 21:38:23

Definitely not marking place

JParkson Wed 17-Apr-13 21:46:53

me neither grin

Angelico Wed 17-Apr-13 22:13:28

me three grin

frumpet Wed 17-Apr-13 22:17:10

I was going to offer a nugget of advice , but have none , so will mark my place instead .

formicaqueen Wed 17-Apr-13 22:34:20

Start being really nice to her like you don't care 'oo hello MIL, lovely day isn't it' and if she makes a cats bum face just block her and ask her directly if she has a problem?

playpen80 Wed 17-Apr-13 23:24:42

I too would love an update.

Moominsarehippos Thu 18-Apr-13 07:59:19

I'd love to be there when OP announces to the mum 'Mumsnet is running a Book on the origins of the Wendi'.

Comme on OP, the nation is waiting.

sosooootired Thu 18-Apr-13 10:03:31

the waiting is unbearable.....tut tut TUT..

OldBagWantsNewBag Thu 18-Apr-13 16:13:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SinisterBuggyMonth Thu 18-Apr-13 16:23:40

This is silly. Anyone want to start doing fictionalised account of what happened? I think its the only chance of some resolution.

helenthemadex Thu 18-Apr-13 16:27:32

Figaro cat is currently in a police cell for attempting to choke the tut out of someone

anklebitersmum Thu 18-Apr-13 16:32:07

Just read 8 pages and no update..

<tut>

<huff>

I'd eye contact & curtsey with a really big grin every time she huffs..

I really need to know what all the tutting is about...

anklebitersmum Thu 18-Apr-13 16:35:04

..or little pig costume..

KittensoftPuppydog Thu 18-Apr-13 16:57:37

I think we've done something to offend the op. Should we ask her what the problem is?

Moominsarehippos Thu 18-Apr-13 17:17:05

Maybe she confronted and there was a fracas...

ChestyNut Thu 18-Apr-13 18:10:49

Argh all those pages and no update

sad

<hideously dissapointed>

Moominsarehippos Thu 18-Apr-13 18:22:04

I heard that they got into a fight and they are now both in detention in the Heads office.

BoffinMum Thu 18-Apr-13 18:35:33

They think you are having or have had an affair, I bet.

Moominsarehippos Thu 18-Apr-13 18:50:49

Who? OP and Tuttut?

Well it's obvious what the chuffing issue is....

The op forgot to bloody update school gate Mum on something really important

<blanks op>

<tuts>

Moominsarehippos Thu 18-Apr-13 19:24:04

Arf!

I'm now tutting and shaking of my head.

Dear oh dear oh dear

EyeoftheStorm Thu 18-Apr-13 19:31:42

This happened to me: random grandma that I walked past on way in and out of school. Used to exchange a nod/small talk about 2 year old DS2. Overnight she decided to ignore me. Not sure why - maybe I didn't smile one day, I don't know.

She was a very glamorous grandma and wore huge sunglasses so I could never see her eyes - all I had to go on was a cat's bum mouth every time she saw me.

I didn't care really - there was no connection between us - but it did get annoying being glared at going in and out of school.

Came to a head one day when I was walking in and she was leaning in to talk to a dad in a car. They stopped talking, she straightened up, and gave me a withering stare from the top of my head to my toes.

She didn't count on fact that I was bullied when I was a kid and I'm not a kid anymore and also I might look like butter wouldn't melt in my mouth but I'm a northerner in the south.

I screeched to a halt and said through gritted teeth: what is the matter with you?

She was really shocked and stammered: I don't know what you're talking about.

I just said: then stop giving me the daggers every time I pass you.

And she did.

Call her on it - it's the only thing that works.

mum47 Thu 18-Apr-13 19:33:45

I have started a thread in Chat telling OP that we are all waiting with bated breath for an update from her. (because I am a nosey cow)

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Thu 18-Apr-13 19:35:01

I am reporting this thread for causing those of us that are waiting for an update, undue anxiety and curiosity.

chubbymomie2012 Thu 18-Apr-13 21:08:18

Ok I am in no way waiting with baited breath to see what happened next and this is not just marking my place. COME ON OP!!!!!

BottleRed76 Thu 18-Apr-13 21:23:12

Just read this thread and I need to know too now!

jollygoose Thu 18-Apr-13 21:51:48

ffs figaro have just got homeand logged in especially to see if tutter has been dealt with. Where are you we need next instalment!

Lockedout434 Thu 18-Apr-13 22:46:28

Tut

shakes head

Is it too rude to pm her to remind her to update?

DoctorAnge Thu 18-Apr-13 23:15:28

Oooh what happened....

deleted203 Thu 18-Apr-13 23:20:01

EyeoftheStorm Hooray for Northerners! We don't take a lot of shit before we bluntly say, 'What is your problem?'

Kytti Fri 19-Apr-13 02:32:52

Come on Figaro - we're all longing for an update...

tut tut tut.

wink

CheerfulYank Fri 19-Apr-13 03:19:48

Eeeek, I must know!

I too have been mysteriously blanked. This woman went from discussing her bridesmaids gowns with me ("because you'll have to wear one") to not answering my phone calls. No falling out, nothing! Still confused to this day.

DublinMammy Fri 19-Apr-13 03:39:16

Have to know what happened, OP, come on back and tell us!

K8ster Fri 19-Apr-13 04:40:21

I have had this also....but she has recently started "liking" everything I put on FB confused...(hangs head in shame at acknowledging I use FB)

MummaBubba123 Fri 19-Apr-13 04:51:46

"Are you and your mother/ daughter suffering from some kind of disease that compels you to produce loud tutting noises and shaking of the head - or is there something you'd like to say to me that's making you behave in such an embarrassing manner. You ought to know that you're embarrassing yourselves and attracting a lot of 'more like children than children' remarks. I'm telling you this as we used to be friends and can't bear to hear people laugh at the way you are both conducting yourselves."

AllOverIt Fri 19-Apr-13 06:50:48

No update? Waaaah!!! angry

tillytrotter11 Fri 19-Apr-13 12:03:07

What is going on? I am going bonkers waiting to find out what happened! [Wink]

UserError Fri 19-Apr-13 12:21:29

Come on OP, where are you? If this turns out to be a troll thread I shall be most annoyed.

OldBagWantsNewBag Fri 19-Apr-13 12:25:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BerylStreep Fri 19-Apr-13 12:49:41

Perhaps the OP's friend was expecting to be updated on the progress of something intriguing, and found that instead the OP just vanished, without a care in the world, or that she left her friend hanging by tenterhooks?

Moominsarehippos Fri 19-Apr-13 13:03:40

Maybe Tuttut is on here... (Looks around nervously, narrows eyes suspiciously, backs out of thread slowly)

mum47 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:55:39

Whaaa ..seriously, nothing?!

mum47 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:56:15

If and when OP comes back to update, I think we should all tut, shake our heads and walk away.

mum47 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:56:55

Unless of course there has been some tragic turn of events, oh god I do hope not..

SamuelWestsMistress Fri 19-Apr-13 17:53:13

She's probably stuck in a tutting time warp

jackstini Fri 19-Apr-13 22:14:26

MN towers can you message OP...
- been following all week and where is our update??!!

zzzzz Fri 19-Apr-13 22:48:54

Tut tut te tut tut te tut te tut te tut

TwinkleSparkleBling Fri 19-Apr-13 22:55:37

Still no news?

WildThongIWannaKnowForSure Fri 19-Apr-13 22:57:49

Oh come on..

BerthaKitt Fri 19-Apr-13 22:58:09

Oh tutting hell. I keep getting excited when I see this thread bumped, get to the end and... tut all! angry

WhereMyMilk Fri 19-Apr-13 23:36:15

Shakes head vigorously, tuts loudly and wanders off...&#128169;

Lockedout434 Fri 19-Apr-13 23:45:47

I bet op is Amanda Holden getting her own back

Tut
Shakes. Head

Off now for nibbles and sippsies

BonaDea Fri 19-Apr-13 23:46:56

OP, come back!

Maybe the woman lamped her?!

sosooootired Sat 20-Apr-13 08:28:57

morning brew Figarocat and fellow waiters
can we have an update on anythinge please - even the weather where you are grin

BerylStreep Sat 20-Apr-13 09:17:00

What's the deal about Amanda Holden?

DuchessFanny Sat 20-Apr-13 10:13:46

Come on OP, i'm having a horrid day already and an update would cheer me no end ( unless it went horribly wrong for you of course !)

CookieLady Sat 20-Apr-13 10:18:33

I'm ashamed to say I was excited when I saw a new post had been added. Alas, it's not from op.

Jestrin Sat 20-Apr-13 10:33:59

Now think this is a wind up!

EuroShaggleton Sat 20-Apr-13 12:11:57

<Tuts at non-updating OP>

I guess we all understand why the lady and her mother keep tutting at Figaro now. If I find out who she is, I'll be tutting at her too. (unless she wants to redeem herself by coming back)

pollywollydoodle Sun 21-Apr-13 05:51:25

(sings) figaro, Figaro, FIGARO
(tuts)

AllOverIt Sun 21-Apr-13 06:22:47

Has anyone directly messaged the OP? I NEED TO KNOW!

headlesslambrini Sun 21-Apr-13 06:45:07

Shamelessly marking place

SomewhereInTheMiddle Sun 21-Apr-13 08:39:39

That's 11 pages of reading that I won't get back. angry grin

I must confess that I feel like glaring and tutting at the OP myself at the moment. grin

tillytrotter11 Sun 21-Apr-13 08:42:49

Agree somewhere. Something very weird/suspicious is going on.....

everlong Sun 21-Apr-13 08:52:58

It's a fucking wind up! grin

OP just wanted to make us all TUT and it worked.

CabbageLeaves Sun 21-Apr-13 08:57:33

Tut tut

look figaro, if this is how you treat us on this thread, giving no updates, i'm not surprised you're tutted at on a daily basis!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 21-Apr-13 09:04:25

Perhaps she asked and was told exactly WHY she was getting tuts and it was so awful that she daren't come back.

Like - seen in the supermarket snaffling grapes!

Parking in a P&C space without an infant!

haha

perhaps she ran over their beloved pet rat and didn't realise.

BonaDea Sun 21-Apr-13 13:24:58

Tut tut tut

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 21-Apr-13 21:35:15

Fucks sake. Its nearly a week now and no update. I am thinking hairy hands at work...

TigerSwallowTail Sun 21-Apr-13 21:49:15

I bet she asked and didn't like the answer she was given so hasn't came back to update.

Bobyan Sun 21-Apr-13 22:15:47

Pmsl at "Hairy Hands"!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sun 21-Apr-13 22:33:51

Maybe the OP's being held hostage and is tied to a chair while the tutty ladies walk around her tutting...

shock

sad

Yamyoid Sun 21-Apr-13 22:40:02

<shakes head>

MsVestibule Sun 21-Apr-13 23:10:29

Unless she's a NCer, this is Figaro's first post. Just sayin...

sosooootired Mon 22-Apr-13 14:35:44

i second the suggestion that we beg mumsnet HQ to email the OP and ask her to update.

please...i'm not too proud to beg blush

Moominsarehippos Mon 22-Apr-13 14:37:06

For goodness sake, Sosooooooo, I got my hopes up there!

sosooootired Mon 22-Apr-13 14:46:35

so sorry blush

SinisterBuggyMonth Mon 22-Apr-13 16:32:55

Yawns

Moominsarehippos Mon 22-Apr-13 16:47:47

This is so boring! All this hanging around...

too much hanging around.
marking my place, OP, in the hoppe that you have the courage to ask her what her problem is tomorrow smile

(and you others, it's only been 20 minutes!)

doh!! blush

i just realised the OP was last monday!

I never know what the date is.

everlong Mon 22-Apr-13 16:54:15

She gorn.

Moominsarehippos Mon 22-Apr-13 16:58:17

What shall we all do now then?

MissFenella Tue 23-Apr-13 22:34:58

Speculate wildly!

I think the woman had a new top set of teeth and wasn't tutting at all but sucking strawberry pips from under her plate.

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