To think this is rude?

(43 Posts)
Nooneelseisallowedafergus Fri 12-Apr-13 09:54:14

On the phone to my mum, who lives in another country, who I v rarely talk to (last time was middle of march). I pass the phone to my toddler so he can say hello, he accidentally presses the off button. So try to phone back....engaged......wait for her to call back......nothing......try to phone her again.....engaged. Me and my son are waiting to finish conversation. After some minutes, text her. Her husband is now using the phone! Half an hour later it remains engaged!!!!
Is this not as bad as cutting into someone's conversation at a party and making it all about you, leaving them and their former conversation just hanging. Rude rude rude.
Can't be arsed anymore, off out. Aaarrrrrgh.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Fri 12-Apr-13 10:02:45

Anyone?

MrsMangelFanciedPaulRobinson Fri 12-Apr-13 10:03:41

Well you did let your toddler put the phone down on her.....

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 12-Apr-13 10:04:44

Someone maybe called them? Or he had an urgent call to make?

livinginwonderland Fri 12-Apr-13 10:06:02

is it really such a big deal? if the phone rang once your toddler hung up, they can't then tell the next caller to piss off! yabu. it's not rude. don't let your toddler hang up if you care so much.

kinkyfuckery Fri 12-Apr-13 10:06:08

It was hung up from your end, not hers.
Maybe her husband was waiting to use the phone and took the opportunity. Maybe he can't get other person off phone. Maybe he's speaking to his child.

Annoying, yes, but not particularly rude.

IYoniWantToBeWithYou Fri 12-Apr-13 10:08:22

I don't think its rude. The phone probably rang when the phone cut off. No big deal really.

WilsonFrickett Fri 12-Apr-13 10:09:55

You cut her off (albeit by accident) so I think from her pov you were the rude one!

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Fri 12-Apr-13 10:10:19

We were a only about 2 min into our phone call. It was just pissing annoying that we then had to wait around in vain, wondering if she was going to call back, trying to call her, assuming it was engaged due to crossed lines.......all the while someone else had merrily barged in and taken over.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Fri 12-Apr-13 10:11:35

Apparently, he received the call, but did he have to witter on for well over half an hour?

You cut her off......mind you, when my sisters kids were toddlers she used to put them on the phone to me. It is very tiresome trying to talk to a toddler on the phone so your mum was probably glad they got cut off smile

*Rude rude rude.
Can't be arsed anymore, off out. Aaarrrrrgh*

You obviously have other problems with your mum though.

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 12-Apr-13 10:12:18

Maybe it was an important call

pictish Fri 12-Apr-13 10:13:18

I don't think it's rude. That's just the way it goes. Chill.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Fri 12-Apr-13 10:13:30

Yes Betty I do.

Sorry to hear that. Hope you can sort it out.

Lottashakingoinon Fri 12-Apr-13 10:16:20

Nope not rude at all. And in any case I can't count the number of times when I think I have put the phone down when it has bounced (slightly) back off the cradle (one of those retro phones with a plastic coil wire) so it sounds like my line's engaged for ages.

And obviously I know this isn't the case here...your Mum is probably thrilled to talk to her dgs and rightly sp, but am I the only one who gets bloody irritated when people put their totally unintelligible sprogs on the phone to 'chat' this clearly does not apply in the case of my granddaughters who have the sort of wit and sparkle that would put Victoria Coren to shame and anyone would be just delighted to chat with them for hours on end

LovePickles Fri 12-Apr-13 10:16:52

'Don't let you toddler hang up if you care so much'

Are people on here really serious, it was probably a slip of the hand, an accident. It's hilarious how people sit and talk to other mothers on this forum. 'You let him hang up, you haven't got the reflexes of a cat, so you're a bad person...'

I'd think it a bit odd that she wouldn't wait for a second to see if you would phone back, but then there's other reasons like other posters have said ie: urgent call etc...

VeryObviousBeforeNameChange Fri 12-Apr-13 10:17:34

hmm some people are odd, and i am not talking about your mum....

LessMissAbs Fri 12-Apr-13 10:17:53

How terrible, OP!!!

LovePickles Fri 12-Apr-13 10:18:44

Tiresome trying to talk to a toddler on the phone?

Grandparent who never sees grandchild may be glad they hung up?

What world am I living in?

Lottashakingoinon Fri 12-Apr-13 10:19:21

X posts Betty (re toddlers on the line)

Apparently, he received the call, but did he have to witter on for well over half an hour?

Oh please...this is clearly one of the those irregular verbs:

I have a chat
You go on a bit
He witters on for well over half an hour

grin

kinkyfuckery Fri 12-Apr-13 10:19:21

I'm guessing you also have ishoos with your SD?

Love - a realistic world!!!

Yes, it is tiresome trying to have a conversation with someone who is not yet capable of holding one. Doesn't mean you love them any less!

YoniDaChillOut Fri 12-Apr-13 10:19:58

"but did he have to witter on for well over half an hour?"

it's his phone he can talk on it for as long as he likes!

belfastbigmillie Fri 12-Apr-13 10:21:05

This is not about a phone call. This is about you not feeling loved so you are hurt and sad.

LovePickles Fri 12-Apr-13 10:24:01

I live in a realistic world too, one where we know a life is short and spending 1 minute on the phone to a loved one isn't tiresome, it's a gift. I know toddlers I'd rather speak to than most adults - like those harping on about how 'tiresome' it is to have to bother talking to children in the family.

YoniDaChillOut Fri 12-Apr-13 10:24:31

i love my best friend to pieces. her DD is 7 and a lovely child but she cannot talk on the phone. she mumbles and goes silent and gets distracted by what is going on around her and i have to say i cringe when best friend says her dd wants to talk to me. i always let her and make out that i really want to talk to her but it is hard work keeping a conversation going.

TSSDNCOP Fri 12-Apr-13 10:26:19

Nope not rude. Is it possible you're looking for reasons she might be to support an ongoing issue in your relationship.

Also I have to say talking to kids on the phone is super-tedious.

kinkyfuckery Fri 12-Apr-13 10:28:37

Love I think you also live in this fantasy land where you imagine everyone's saying the same thing when, really, its only one or two?

DeafLeopard Fri 12-Apr-13 10:28:59

Rudest of all is being made to chat to a toddler on the phone IMO

Lottashakingoinon Fri 12-Apr-13 10:29:03

like those harping on about how 'tiresome' it is to have to bother talking to children in the family

Whereas to me, people who are clear sighted about the shortcomings of their own offspring are a breath of fresh air. Regrettably I do not fall into that category!

LovePickles Fri 12-Apr-13 10:32:28

Yoni that's different, it's quite clear the child doesn't want to talk. If your child/grandson/niece or nephew has something to say to you I think it's nice they even bother remembering who you are and you should be happy about it. (You in the general sense) It's quite rare though, in my experience, that a child would go out of their way to want to chat. Too busy playing. I guess I'm quite tolerant of children even if they aren't old enough to be on my 'level' yet.

YoniOneSugar Fri 12-Apr-13 10:33:10

It sounds to me that you're pissed off that your mum wasn't that bothered about restarting the conversation after being cut off.

You were clearly wanting to chat again and she wasn't.

LovePickles Fri 12-Apr-13 10:33:59

Kinky, I'd like to address your point but have no idea what it means in regards to what I've said.

LovePickles - I am not talkng about a child who has lots to say to me...of course it is nice talking to them on the phone. I am talking about say a 2 year old who cannot yet really hold a conversation. Lots of ooohs and aahs going on - can only last for so long.

YoniDaChillOut Fri 12-Apr-13 11:09:04

ok, forget about the 7 year old DD of my best friend.

i call to speak to my own dcs when they are at their dad's. my youngest is 3 and his speech is very unclear. of course i always speak to him and try and make out what he is saying and i make what i think are the right sounds to what he is saying. but it's still hard and that is my own child! i always have to ask him to get his dad.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Fri 12-Apr-13 12:09:44

Thank you belfastbigmillie you are right. Feel better having been out and tucking into beans on toast with my 2 gorgey boys.

belfastbigmillie Fri 12-Apr-13 12:29:21

All the best xx Have a crap mother myself so I could see what this was all about.

MansView Fri 12-Apr-13 13:30:32

OP - if she's as uptight as you thern I think she got into a right strop too and just put the handset off the receiver...

JaquelineHyde Fri 12-Apr-13 13:36:46

The phone was hung up at your end.

Their phone rang as soon as your toddler had cut them off.

They answered their phone and continued to have a conversation with the person that had rung them.

Why on earth are you pissed off about this and on what planet could you possibly think this is rude.

You sound slightly unhinged OP and I think you need to step away from the relationship with your Mum and StepDad if this is all it takes to get you so angry!

CSIJanner Fri 12-Apr-13 13:43:24

Is there any chance you could try Skype instead?

My LO's press the off button and then we can't get through. Sometimes they need to put the receiver down properly at the other end. Ow ever it sounds like that someone took another call at the other end. If it had been a local call to them, I would have told that person I would call them back as I was due to talk to family overseas and had just lost the line. But that's me.

Ice cream - big tub. Makes the whole world better grin

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Fri 12-Apr-13 13:59:11

I am actually not an uptight person at all. But due to long term issues with my mum, who is too complex to go into, I think it is called 'the straw that broke the camels back'. I am stepping away fom my mum, I have only seen her twice in the last few months and talk irregularly, more for my son's sake than mine. It is sad, but hey, what can you do? What i am doing is being a completely opposite kind of mother to my two than she was to me - in a good way.

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Fri 12-Apr-13 14:03:11

But thank you everyone for getting me to step back and see how petty I was being over this particular incident. I am over it, don't fret.

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