To want to do the sex with Russell Brand?

(121 Posts)
D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:22:02

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TheCatIsUpTheDuff Wed 10-Apr-13 21:23:04

It would be amazing, but he would give you diseases.

Binkybix Wed 10-Apr-13 21:23:47

Yuck. Not for me. Too far up his own arse and self indulgent.

QueenCuntyChops Wed 10-Apr-13 21:23:49

He would need two showers first.

And a hair brush.

But yeah, then, I'd ride him until his ears bled.

D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:23:58

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D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:24:31

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Binkybix Wed 10-Apr-13 21:24:51

Or maybe if he wasn't allowed to talk to me.

YANBU. He is beautiful and he loves animals. I said to DP the other day i'd love to be friends with him. He has such a perfect balance of intelligence and light hearted funniness smile

Love how in all his films he plays himself though:

Arthur - Russell Brand if he was born a millionaire...
Get him to the Greek - Russell Brand if he was a rock star...

CognitiveOverload Wed 10-Apr-13 21:25:06

Was going to say you'd need to bath him first...but queen has already covered it smile

HollyBerryBush Wed 10-Apr-13 21:25:25

According to one of his ex beaus, he doesn't wash much and his undies have skidders.

You're welcome to him

HildaOgden Wed 10-Apr-13 21:27:24

I'd actually say he's a bit shit,nobody seems too heartbroken when they spilt with him wink

I'd need a big bottle of dettol,and an even bigger bottle of vodka before I'd go there grin

D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:27:43

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WorriedMummy73 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:28:11

Eeeeeew. Not this again! His face is all potatoey! Yuck yuck yuck.

D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:28:19

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HollyBerryBush Wed 10-Apr-13 21:28:27

He's grim, he doesn't even look like a man.

D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:31:05

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ChompieMum Wed 10-Apr-13 21:31:14

He is very very fit and clever too. All Captain Jack Sparrow who is also fit (but then he is Johnny Depp).

badtime Wed 10-Apr-13 21:31:29



D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:33:11

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AnyFucker Wed 10-Apr-13 21:33:26

I prefer HullDad myself. He's really got my Yoni revving.

FreudiansSlipper Wed 10-Apr-13 21:33:27

He is beautiful, funny and very intelligent

glad he has gone back to his scruffy arty just had sex and ready again look since splitting with whatever her name is

thebody Wed 10-Apr-13 21:33:36

Think he fell in love with himself at an early age and is still smitten.

Yeuk yeuk.

specialsubject Wed 10-Apr-13 21:34:18

a childish, not very talented bully with a history of substance abuse?

each to their own.

Mrcrumpswife Wed 10-Apr-13 21:34:31

There are times when i wish Mnet had a like button DOG gringringrin

Twentytotwo Wed 10-Apr-13 21:35:29

I don't find him that eloquent.

He reminds me of an ex who was a self obsessed arsehole. He was also smooth enough that you didn't really care that everything he said was bollocks. He had eyes you could drown in and was very, very good in bed.

MissBetseyTrotwood Wed 10-Apr-13 21:35:44

I would.

Saw him at Hackney Empire about 10 years ago and his jeans did that thing where they almost fell down but not quite, in quite a... nice way.

I would Jack Sparrow more though.

auntmargaret Wed 10-Apr-13 21:36:22

I so would.

ScooseIsLooseOnTheLoopyJuice Wed 10-Apr-13 21:36:30

Back off dog he's all mine!! I luffs him! wink

auntmargaret Wed 10-Apr-13 21:36:56

But yes to Jack Sparrow more.

ohmyrainydays Wed 10-Apr-13 21:37:28

I so would, he looks filthy in a good way.

D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:37:38

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D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:38:30

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D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:38:59

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WorriedMummy73 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:39:07

He just looks unwashed to me. I was going to say dirty or filthy but then imagined the reaction to those words grin. And I do wish he'd just talk normally too. Booky wook? What the fucky wuck?

Prefer someone clean thanks - hankering after the lovely Tom Hiddleton at the moment - does Shakespeare, scrubs up exceedingly well, sings, dances, does an amazing Samuel L. Jackson impression, infectious laugh. Must go and have a lie down...

NuhichNuhaymuh Wed 10-Apr-13 21:39:52

He's the sort of self righteous man I loathe myself for liking

ChompieMum Wed 10-Apr-13 21:40:12

I will take Brand and Sparrow together or separately. So much more attractive than all those action hero muscle men types.

AnyFucker Wed 10-Apr-13 21:40:12

this the sexiest man alive, or at least on MN

quick, before it gets deleted

sjupes Wed 10-Apr-13 21:40:33

If you go back 5/6 years i'd do him - i liked him when his hair was wild and he wore man make up rather than his hair all coiffed and wavy with hollywood make up done.

Yeah, 5 years ago russ would've got it and i was still pretty tidy myself grin

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 10-Apr-13 21:40:59

I would!
And I dont get the "he needs a bath" comments. He is dark doesnt make him dirty. He always wears sparkling white shirts and nice clothes, and his hair looks fantastic. I bet he smells divine!

catgirl1976 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:41:35

On paper I should fancy the arse off him. He is totally my type

But something about him screams 'try hard'

puts me off a bit

timidviper Wed 10-Apr-13 21:42:58

Ooh no, he needs a good wash and I suspect he has as much emotional and intellectual depth as a puddle. Bleeurgh!

MintyyAeroEgg Wed 10-Apr-13 21:44:23

No, he's just been around too much.

But I do LOVE him for being an amazing writer. I hope you all saw his piece on Mrs T in the Grauniad today.

D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:44:28

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D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:45:17

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WorriedMummy73 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:45:22

Minty - nobody saw anything in the 'Grauniad' today - you (or your iPad perhaps) are clearly intoxicated! grin

D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:49:32

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DontSHOUTTTTTT Wed 10-Apr-13 21:53:43

No, no and no again. Are you all mad? Or blind? If he was the last man on earth I still wouldn't.

He is revolting (in a bad way). I think he loves himself and his contrived image more than anything else.

You are all welcome to him and his skiddy pants.

Twentytotwo Wed 10-Apr-13 21:54:09

You need to read the thread. MN at it's best.

SecretJewel Wed 10-Apr-13 21:54:33

He doesn't actually look like a man though, does he?

More, animated Japanese cartoon character.

FreudiansSlipper Wed 10-Apr-13 21:55:54

Oh my that has put me off my tea and biscuitsshock

MintyyAeroEgg Wed 10-Apr-13 21:58:10

Sadly I do not have an i-pad sad

D0G Wed 10-Apr-13 21:59:52

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WorriedMummy73 Wed 10-Apr-13 22:00:54

Minty - me either. But I do now want a Mint Aero - so cheers for that!

ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay Wed 10-Apr-13 22:04:25

And he's lovely. He did a gig for a charity I know and all the (female) staff raved about what a star he was. And the next day he sent one of them something that he had mentioned and she'd been really interested in that would help the charity. And i'm pretty sure he did it just to be nice not to get in her knickers.

SecretJewel Wed 10-Apr-13 22:42:29

Did he get in her knickers anyway though?

cheeseandbiscuitsplease Wed 10-Apr-13 23:04:19

I have met him
And kissed him three times.
He is handsome and adorable and smells gorgeous. Very manly in the flesh, not skinny just gorgeous.
And he said he liked my over knee boots and looked at me with them lovely brown eyes and raised his which point I remembered lovely hubby was standing three feet away with a furrowed brow so we left.....think I've bragged about this on here before though ha ha. This was few years ago when his hair was a bit higher. Thought he was very handsome the other night on the telly with Alan Carr though smile Still big fan....ssshhhh ;)

Damash12 Wed 10-Apr-13 23:07:37

Yak!! Urrggh nooooo, too unclean. Each to there own I guess ;-)

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Kleptronic Wed 10-Apr-13 23:12:33

Eeeeyak bleurgh eew ick eeeyakkerdakker NO NO NO. Ew. Bloody hell no. Him and that big faced git off of Boosh. Erk.

grovel Wed 10-Apr-13 23:12:52

He'd be a fake dollar note.

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Wed 10-Apr-13 23:58:54

Had the chance and turned him down.

Seemed a nice guy but, no

catgirl1976 Thu 11-Apr-13 00:16:16

How did he take the rejection?

I imagine him to go into sulky 'didn't want to any way' mode yellow

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Thu 11-Apr-13 00:22:23

Pretty much, he had numerous other woman to have so didn't strop too long, I drank his free booze and went out to a club.

practicality Thu 11-Apr-13 00:33:23

He is so into yoga though isn't he?

I bet he practices yoni massage.....

perplexedpirate Thu 11-Apr-13 00:36:10

I deffo would. Then afterwards we could chat about Morrissey (the singer and the cat) and eat a lovely vegetarian breakfast.
<may have thought about this too much>

deleted203 Thu 11-Apr-13 00:36:56

Yuck. No way. YANBU - cos we're all entitled to our dodgy weird attractions but I can't see the appeal of him at all. My objections would include:-

1 He loves himself far more than anyone ever should...and for no apparent reason.

2 He never looks very clean, frankly.

3 Too effeminate, too skinny, too badly dressed.

4 Too likely to be carrying transmittable diseases.

5 Weird voice. Can't shut up and he bores me. My eyes would be glazing over. And I can't fancy a man I've had to gag.

6 Pseudo articulate, but actually little intelligence or anything original to say.

7 No discernible talent for acting, presenting, singing, comedy - yet is forever appearing on things.

8 Appears to have little genuine liking or respect for women. You just know he would be boasting and unpleasant about your sexual performance/appearance to all his mates.

9 Bizarre sense of what is funny or appropriate for Radio 2...obscene phone calls to an elderly man? Reading porn live on air? Most 'boys' outgrow this by 14, FGS.

10 Apparently has ADHD, bi-polar, ex-bulimiac, ex-heroin addict, sex addict and alcoholic. Used to self harm. Has been arrested fairly frequently.

Call me fussy, but this tends to put me off a bloke.

KatyTheCleaningLady Thu 11-Apr-13 01:34:06

The very thought makes me want to flee to the comfort of the Tom Cruise thread.

D0G Thu 11-Apr-13 08:26:27

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YADNBU he's bloody gorgeous and funny.

I think he is basically a walking red flag, Definitely not suitable for anything long term. However for a one night fuckathon, I think I would.
He looks like he would be a dirty ride.

eccentrica Thu 11-Apr-13 08:48:35

cheese I have also snogged him with my then DP standing nearby

Although I fancied the pants off him, actually the kiss was not that good. Probably more to do with post-gig chaos and surrounded by people.

Still would. ;-)

Feminine Thu 11-Apr-13 08:51:06

I worry about his eyes.

D0G Thu 11-Apr-13 08:59:11

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D0G Thu 11-Apr-13 08:59:45

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melika Thu 11-Apr-13 09:01:34

Sorry not my cup o tea!

bigbuttons Thu 11-Apr-13 09:01:45

OMG NOOOOO, he is so skanky, he really gives me the creeps and that silly voice. What is it with that silly voice?

Feminine Thu 11-Apr-13 09:04:02

dog his eyes look like mine do before I've had a brew

I think you need one too, here brew

Blimey, 3 MNers on one page who've had some encouragement from the man .... He's obviously been around a bit ... but do we care ?!

Feminine Thu 11-Apr-13 09:06:27

And I think the sex would be dreadful.

long skinny legs all over the place , and I think he'd keep those leathers on,round his ankles!

hackmum Thu 11-Apr-13 09:09:36

Have always found him really creepy and repulsive and with an unpleasant personality to boot. But I thought that piece in The Guardian was pretty damned good. So I have revised my opinion of him a bit. But not enough to want to sleep with him. (I know. He'll be devastated.)

superstarheartbreaker Thu 11-Apr-13 09:11:08

YANBU...he's lovely!

MissRee Thu 11-Apr-13 09:14:25

I saw him at the Teenage Cancer Trust a few weeks back - he's far more beautiful in real life!

At the end of his shows, he ALWAYS goes into the crowd to meet and greet, or "choose his sexual partner for the night" as he puts it. I actually do think that he does you know hmm

OnwardBound Thu 11-Apr-13 09:18:35

What a catch MissRee <bleurgh>

Whatever did Katy Perry see in him?

Have just read the Guardian article by Russell - curate's egg (good in parts)
- probably like the sex would be ? wink

HairyGrotter Thu 11-Apr-13 09:40:39

Man alive, the shit I'd do with Russell Brand...

I like a scruff, especially a dirty looking one (my DP is so far removed from that, it's laughable). I reckon he'd make your head spin with wonder, in the sack. A psychedelic orgasm, yes please!

Brand is on my list, just under Depp and Simon Neil. All shall be ticked at some point.

SinisterBuggyMonth Thu 11-Apr-13 10:09:29

I mightshag him if he was there but I reckon I would prefer it if he left the house pretty quickly afterwards.

mrsjay Thu 11-Apr-13 10:14:55

he looks filthy and not in a good way way like dirty pants filthy eww no i wouldn't go there

everlong Thu 11-Apr-13 10:18:45

I sort of find him attractive but not in a ' want to shag him ' sort of way.
I don't know what it is I like about him tbh. His humour maybe.

Doubtfuldaphne Thu 11-Apr-13 10:19:55

In 'Arthur' yes

In his sandals and long beard, no

Although I'm partial to a short or stubbly beard

"I might shag him if he was there" HaHa @ Sinister
- what, just lying around the place ? grin

MooMooSkit Thu 11-Apr-13 10:22:19

Urgh heck no. His in the same sort of league as Noel Fielding. Not for me.

Areyoumadorisitme Thu 11-Apr-13 10:24:25

I haven't read the replies but OP - YABVVVVVVUUUU -yuk yuk yuk. I wouldn't shag him for a million squid [can't fins a vomit emoticon].


MissRee Thu 11-Apr-13 10:39:14

MooMooSkit Noel Fielding was also at the Teenage Cancer Trust gig and he is strangely attractive in the flesh too. Lordy, I never thought I'd say that confused

Mrsdavidcaruso Thu 11-Apr-13 10:51:30

Some one changed my screen saver from the divine Mr Caruso to Mr Brand when I had a day off work I turned on my computer expecting to see sexy blue eyes and wonderful red hair instead a troll appeared I screamed and everyone took the piss

AmberLeaf Thu 11-Apr-13 10:55:08

He is so not my type, but I would.

shewhowines Thu 11-Apr-13 10:55:22

You're sick -- and not the teenage sick that means good.

If he featured in my dreams at all, it would be in my worst nightmare.

chroniclackofimagination Thu 11-Apr-13 11:03:45

Couldn't go through with the sex but I do want to be his friend.

MooMooSkit Thu 11-Apr-13 11:36:24

MissFee I'll take your word for it! He reminds me of a male Florence Welch. Do think he is very funny though!

bigTillyMint Thu 11-Apr-13 11:40:25

He might be all right if he kept his gob shut.

And I was drunk. And 20 years younger.

MansView Thu 11-Apr-13 16:07:05

Hmmm russel brand...there's hope for me yet... smile

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 11-Apr-13 16:49:19

Re George Bush -

"We were very impressed. It was nice of you to let him have a go, because in England, George Bush wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors."

I'm still laughing at this years later.

And his stand up that included Ian Huntley and The Sun was genius.

Wouldn't shag him though.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 11-Apr-13 17:54:05

I adore Russell Brand. Sadly, my last pervy dream didnt include him...sad

VellyBelly Fri 12-Apr-13 00:10:49

Just out right. Yes don't know what it is about the man but there's something smile

YoniOno Fri 12-Apr-13 00:23:05

Another one here who could've grin

After a standup at a dodgy pub, about a year before he got properly famous. I was properly weak kneed but was with my then boyfriend, now DH. Lucky escape probably but dammit dammit dammit

ScooseIsLooseOnTheLoopyJuice Sat 13-Apr-13 21:34:19

Get him to the Greek is on channel 4 now!!

Theicingontop Sat 13-Apr-13 21:44:00

I'd do the sex with his mind... his person? Not so much.

Very intelligent man.

Awks Sat 13-Apr-13 21:52:45

I was reading this and thinking of Russell Grant and wondering why you were being quite charitable about him and then it clicked. But yes, he's lush.

Bridgetbidet Sat 13-Apr-13 22:04:19

I just saw a bit of that Get him to the Greek. He had his nips out. Would. All day. Every day.

threepiecesuite Sat 13-Apr-13 22:17:24

I would, every which way.
I think it would be very teenagery sex, all fast humping and nipple tweaking. I proper love him, and oft have to defend him when colleagues pile in with the scruffy/filthy talk.

HotCrossPun Sat 13-Apr-13 22:27:46

I so would.

I imagine a bonk with Russell would be a bit life-altering and crazy.

<Goes to buy DP a curly black wig...>

WillPenn Sat 13-Apr-13 22:39:21

Came across this thread while watching Get him to the Greek and having just said to DH that I find Russell Brand the most revolting man on earth. You couldn't pay me.

What on earth does everyone think is so great about him?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 13-Apr-13 22:40:19

He is just beautiful.

BarredfromhavingStella Sat 13-Apr-13 22:41:02

Seriously have you no standards???? hmm

birdynumnums Sat 13-Apr-13 22:41:56

I love Russell. Think he's a bit of a sex mad bastard but I find him intelligent, funny and quirky. I also think he's a nice person you know. About 5 years ago, I remember watching some shitty morning programme (maybe This morning)and they were doing an experiment to see how kind/helpful people were in London. So a woman kept dropping her shopping bags all over the floor in the city centre to see if anyone would stop to help and Russell Brand walking past was actually one of very few people who did (sighs)

Wheredidmyyouthgo Sun 14-Apr-13 00:34:14

YADNBU. I so would, I reckon he'd be filthy (not in a 'need a bath' way. I would hope).

Him, and Jeremy Renner.

(Card is on the way)

luckybarsteward Sun 14-Apr-13 09:48:21

YANBU - If I had to share a cell with until the end of my days, then I'd probably give it a go.

Lighthousekeeping Sun 14-Apr-13 15:50:05

I know someone that has and perfectly good he was too. Very interesting and clean living guy. He gave her is number and everything.

Yanbu, it's what all us ladies (and some men) want if given half the chance. Never going to happen, but it's nice to dream......blush

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 14-Apr-13 21:12:28

Not me. Way too skinny and he talks too fucking much.

He seems very charming and funny and I imagine he could make me weak in the knees if he took a mind to try, but I can't imagine actually doing the deed with him. The video just won't play in my head.

KatyTheCleaningLady Wed 17-Apr-13 11:48:41

I had to resurrect this thread!

A former friend/acquaintance of mine has a video podcast on Youtube. I haven't ever watched it because I am no longer friends with him and I didn't care about the podcast. But, I saw last night that he'd had Russell Brand on and thought I'd check it out.

It was... wow. It was amazing and bizarre. Partly because I know the person doing the interview (and he and I used to have some pretty intense/weird conversations, ourselves) and partly because Russell Brand is truly on a whole 'nuther level from ordinary people.

Anyway, if anyone is interested, you can see him join the podcast at the 14:50 mark (it's quite boring up until that point):

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