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to think regulars who name change are cowards?

(183 Posts)
ssd Wed 10-Apr-13 18:14:30

whats the bloody point??

are you so scared someone on here wont think you're great anymore?

I can understand name changing if someone has recognized you and is giving you grief, but name changing because you feel like saying something that may annoy others is pathetic

stand by your convictions people!

kinkyfuckery Wed 10-Apr-13 18:16:34

I get it when making some sort of 'confession' that you aren't ready to quite come public about yet, but those who just use it to <whisper> troll - nah, cowardly!

Tee2072 Wed 10-Apr-13 18:16:58

hmm

Sparklingbrook Wed 10-Apr-13 18:17:39

I don't understand name changing unless you have said something that outs you totally.

I dunno.

I have fairly strong convictions about a couple of controversial things and it does occasionally occur to me it wouldn't be that difficult for someone to recognize me, decide they didn't like my views, and not hire me/want to work with me.

Obviously if you just want to wind people up, it's a bit crap to NC but if you want to debate politics or ethics and they're sensitive subjects, you can't really be blamed for choosing to do it under a name you'll never used again.

Bowlersarm Wed 10-Apr-13 18:19:53

I've never understood it but maybe if they are known in RL under their usual username that would explain it?

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 10-Apr-13 18:20:15

Depends on the reason why. If someone has something personal that they don't want to talk about under their usual name, then its fair enough.

Sparklingbrook Wed 10-Apr-13 18:20:22

I was talking to my Dad today. He was saying about employers checking your FB before employing you. It would be a bit shock if they checked MN. grin

Sparklingbrook Wed 10-Apr-13 18:20:59

YY to embarassing things. But then go back to original name after.

shellbu Wed 10-Apr-13 18:22:19

very odd and can think people only do it for the reasons you say ,every one should stand by what they think not change their names and views to suit , very cowardly .

RustyBear Wed 10-Apr-13 18:22:20

Some people at work, as well as DD, know this name, so I would change if I ever posted about anything personal or about work.

StoickTheVast Wed 10-Apr-13 18:22:33

I name change once every six months or so. Last time was a joke name change on X Factor thread which stuck. Changed to this one last week because I felt like it.

It probably wouldn't take too much for someone who knows me in RL to work out it is me - I have had that happen before, and equally have worked out who people are on here.

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate Wed 10-Apr-13 18:23:53

I name change. I say things sometimes that are quite recognisable and, if someone does recognise me, I would rather they could look through a few months of posts, not seven years' worth.

I name change for a thread if I want to say something that I would hate someone to recognise me on. Personal questions, health stuff, that kind of thing.

I never name change just to give a controversial view on something.

StoickTheVast Wed 10-Apr-13 18:25:23

Yeah, should say I would never NC just to go 'you're all a bunch of bastards' and run away.

b4bunnies Wed 10-Apr-13 18:25:30

1 - i don't actually care what you think.
2 - there's only one person who reads here who knows who i am, and that person already knows all my opinions.
3 - i've had eight names here, seven of them on a single theme. anyone who wants to find me usually can.
4 - posting on message boards is a leisure activity, it's supposed to be fun. new names are fun.
5 - don't take it so seriously. you don't know these people. they can change their names if they want to.

Sanctimumious Wed 10-Apr-13 18:26:01

I name change all the time to protect my anonymity. Couldn't really give a ^%$£ what you make of it.

I call it cautious and private.

QueenCuntyChops Wed 10-Apr-13 18:27:47

Um. Having had all my posts printed out, sent to my family, used to score points and been generally hounded across the internet, I namechange frequently now.

MN is as far from anonymous as it gets, really. Especially if you're posting regularly with a recognisable name.

<shrugs>

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Wed 10-Apr-13 18:28:46

Hmmm - having said that above....

SmellieWellies Wed 10-Apr-13 18:29:04

I name change all the time too- on average once a month, used to be every Monday way back in 2009 when I first started posting!

Cautious and private, that is why. Plus i post alot of personal stuff, and would hate to be outed.

Plus- DH has an ex who has stalked him in the past- restraining orders, the whole bit, and i am worried she might be on MN and recognise me, but still do not see why i have to lurk.

Sparklingbrook Wed 10-Apr-13 18:29:33

It all depends what you post.

Sanctimumious Wed 10-Apr-13 18:30:02

Yes, I've had a bad experience with somebody who took it upon herself to out me. (She thought I deserved it) It was to punish me for posts she didn't like. There are some crazies who should know better.

MN won't let us delete our old posts, so we've no control over what's up here. Best policy is to name change very frequently imo

SayMama Wed 10-Apr-13 18:30:57

What b4 said ^^

BOF Wed 10-Apr-13 18:31:26

I think it's sensible rather than cowardly. Has something particularly upset you?

DireRear Wed 10-Apr-13 18:31:43

I have NC (today, for a different thread, will change back soon) but also for 'controversial' threads. Not because I was trolling but cos I wanted to ask something that was very difficult for me to talk about - re having a child diagnosed as SN and some challenging feelings around that - and I didn't want those feelings dragged up again yonks later.

Sometimes people post to get perspective on things and then when they have chilled out and realised they were being U, they want to leave that conversation behind.

That is the point of internet avatars, you know...

Oh my god queencuntychops are you me?
I had the exact same experience! Deregged and came back a few months later. Now I name change every once in a while when it occurs to me

CerealMom Wed 10-Apr-13 18:36:27

I get bored with my names - no grassy knoll here.

marjproops Wed 10-Apr-13 18:36:57

i nearly did on another mn forum as it was something really personal and i felt ashamed but i couldnt work out how to!

i think of nc-ing just for a change, something new, but id prob say im the mnetter fromerly known as marj or something.

and now i know how to nc i might for a personal painful thing but never to goad or judge etc.

just seen direrear (great name btw) and what she wrote and i agree on that.

Pagwatch Wed 10-Apr-13 18:37:25

I hate people who name change to shit stir or spout some offensive stuff but other than that I can see why people do it.
It does bumfuzle me but I am easily confused anyway tbh.

If I was posting something intensely personal then I would name change. I would hate to always be remembered as the poster who models with dog poo, or whatever.

Disclaimer - I don't

Pagwatch Wed 10-Apr-13 18:41:03

So Exit - do you make things with dog pooh or pose for dog pooh relaed photos ?

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 10-Apr-13 18:41:56

I name change every few months to reduce the risk of being outed in rl. I've been outed once so I'm more careful now. I don't nc to troll.

DireRear Wed 10-Apr-13 18:42:23

Thanks marj Going to NC back now - I was just, er, passing through grin

DireRear Wed 10-Apr-13 18:42:56

Although Exit - I am available for modelling purposes if you want to PM me. <propositions>

marjproops Wed 10-Apr-13 18:43:42

oh do you have to? that name is brill! wish i could think of a witty nc.

SmellieWellies Wed 10-Apr-13 18:43:52

I don't nc to troll either. Not honourable. (Neither is trolling IMO). Purses lips.

Exit i have loads of dogpoo if you need.

PeaceandFUCKINGLove Wed 10-Apr-13 18:45:21

I name changed because I wanted to and because I could.

Its only a message board, so its not a big deal what name people post under.

Kubalai Wed 10-Apr-13 18:46:02

I NC a lot. Mostly because I use MN to ask about/discuss/offload about things I can't or don't want to talk about in RL. A lot of those things are very personal, possibly identifiable, and things I definitely don't want others to know.

I have "recognised" 2 other posters due to their post content or username, and been suspiciously questioned about a topic I've posted about, and want to avoid that happening again.

Sparklingbrook Wed 10-Apr-13 18:46:19

When a poster has been lovely and given great advice it's a shame when they NC and disappear. sad

nemno England Wed 10-Apr-13 18:46:42

It doesn't bother me. You're all people I don't know, I couldn't care much about different degrees of not knowing.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 10-Apr-13 18:46:59

You mean the I'm a regular but I've namechanged to say <insert horribly offensive thing here>, don't you? Not namechanged to talk about my offensive discharge or to ask you about this really identifiable RL situation...

Yes. I agree. If you think it - stand by it. Don't hide who you are.

If your view is so bad that you know before you post it that others will revile you for it - that's really your cue to take a good long look at yourself!

If, otoh, it's simply that it's not a majority view - that doesn't in itself make it wrong! Stand up and be counted. grin

Tee2072 Wed 10-Apr-13 18:47:04

To put my 2 cents in, other than my eloquent hmm, I only ever seasonal name change and Tee is always part of it.

I'm know all over the 'net as Tee2072. There is no privacy left, IMHO, so why pretend there is? Whatshername and the police thing proves it.

I namechange between this and other names don't really care what you think op. I'm doing nothing illegal.
((shrugs))

Viviennemary Wed 10-Apr-13 18:55:32

I don't quite get all the name changing every five minutes that seems to go on. So many posts start I've name changed for this. So do they go back to the original name or stay with the new name. I can see the point of it but not as much as it seems to go on.

shellbu Wed 10-Apr-13 18:55:55

of course its cowardly why hide if you say what you believe and are not nasty .

everlong Wed 10-Apr-13 18:56:37

' stand by your convictions people ' I have to agree with this if it's just nc'ing about something controversial or to be a bit goady.

Different if your fanjo is on fire and you need to offload. Although I don't think anybody would bat an eyelid on MN anymore.

I know what you mean, ssd. The posters who nc to pick and pike and stir.

I'd love their nc to fail and show who they really are.

abbyfromoz Wed 10-Apr-13 19:17:34

Yes and no. I think if they are talking about something embarrassing (eg. Their desire to get labiaplasty) then no- i think that's fair enough. But if they do it to have a go at someone who might have disagreed with them in another post then that is low and scheming and wrong...(you know who you are!!)

I namechange. I'm not a coward.
I'm not here to be 'known' so my namechanging affects no-one other than myself.
I like the anonymity.

quoteunquote Wed 10-Apr-13 19:24:04

It's probably very wise to change, I have on occasion when wanting to discuss a situation involving someone else.

I usually return to quoteunquote,

the only advantage of being consistent with a name is that when you are accused of being a troll and must be totally terrible person, after posting something that outrages someone on MN sensibilities, you can agree that while you maybe unforgivable on that particular subject, you are however normally quite nice, and tell them to fucking check your history refer them to your past posts.

and a wise person probable wouldn't put anything on the internet, they wouldn't have on a massive poster on the side of their house.

lots of people know who I am on here (DH, DC,family friend, people I work with) , I have a large screen in the office on my computer, MN is often up, I'm always making people read things, send links to threads ), so I suppose I'm not really bothered, basically I'm too lazy to be guarded about my identity.

crashdoll Wed 10-Apr-13 19:27:27

If I post something under crashdoll, then change to something else and post again, can my 2 names be linked?

mrsjay Wed 10-Apr-13 19:31:38

if somebody name changes because they are needing a bit of privacy in what they are posting about I cant see what is wrong with that, It is nothing to do with not being liked, namechanging to be down right nasty is cowardly as it is decieving (sp)

MintyyAeroEgg Wed 10-Apr-13 19:31:58

I namechange to post about embarrassing or personal stuff that I don't want widely known.

I don't n/c to stir up trouble and think it should be a bannable offence, if bannable is actually a word.

I never namechange, unless its for fun purposes...(IPOAT, anyone?).

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 10-Apr-13 19:41:28

I NC ALL the time because I tend to give too much personal detail away and the panic. I'm not a coward thanks...I'm sensible.

YouTheCat Wed 10-Apr-13 19:44:31

Name changing to shit stir is, well, shit.

Name changing for privacy is fine. Name changing because you fancy a change, also fine.

I name changed but put on my profile what my old name was anyway.

usualsuspect Wed 10-Apr-13 19:46:33

The ones who NC to be twats annoy me.at least I'm a twat in this name only grin

kim147 Wed 10-Apr-13 19:47:32

I probably should name change sometime.
But I like my name. And people get to recognise you and begin to understand you.

Which is what makes MN a great and supportive place.

But I do understand people changing so they don't get recognised.

ssd Wed 10-Apr-13 19:48:34

snap usualsuspect grin

DaisyFlower123 Wed 10-Apr-13 19:48:53

I am very honest in my posts and often refer to RL experiences etc. I have posted about serious matters such my expereinces of sexual abuse/ rape to the trivial. I enjoy mumsnet and like to be able to rant and speak freely. I name change regularly as I don't want people to know who I am in RL or be recognised. My nearest and dearest know all about my life but I don't want the mums at the local school gate recognising me and matching me with a range of posts I put up, it isn't a level of detail I want them too know. At the same time I find Mumsnet hugely helpful when I have issues etc, so it is my way of interacting and joining a community whilst protecting my privacy.

Sparklingbrook Wed 10-Apr-13 19:49:59

NC to shit stir sounds like a lot of effort. confused

MandragoraWurzelstock Wed 10-Apr-13 19:51:05

SSD your name has always struck me as particularly obscure, and I have no idea who you might be from what you post.

You're not like me. I post a lot, I've posted about things I feel bad about (past mistakes, to empathise with those going through similar) and so on and I've also posted about really normal things, or things I haven't done wrong, and got hugely flamed for them.

So yes I blooming do namechange - constantly - and I've been recognised at least twice by RL friends, in the 6 years I've been here and really, what do you care if someone anonymous changes their username to another one - they're still anonymous, to you.

You're not making any sense.

fuzzypicklehead Wed 10-Apr-13 19:52:00

I have a couple of names that I use frequently. One is linked to my blog and it would take about 30 seconds for a person to identify me, and where I live, work, etc. So I don't think it's fair to post about sensitive stuff or situations that relate to people in real life under that name, because they would become easily identifiable too.

It's quite scary to hear about people being outed and having their posts printed out and given to their families--that's shit stirring on an incredible level!

ohmentalnessisme Wed 10-Apr-13 19:53:52

I nc every few months in case anyone in rl recognises me on here

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 10-Apr-13 19:57:40

I've never name changed except for seasonal names, but I'm always a beagle.
I don't tend to talk about personal issues on here though.

Bowlersarm Wed 10-Apr-13 20:00:01

I don't understand the posters saying that because they name change on here it means people in RL won't recognise them. Can someone explain to simple old me how that works? Do you mean that people in RL know your username?

Losingexcessweight Wed 10-Apr-13 20:03:46

I dont know anyone that uses mumsnet, well to my knowledge i dont.

I have name changed in the past because i ve started threads where people have thought i was a nasty vicious bitch etc and its gone down badly.

Some of you mumsnetters remember some of my threads that i started under another nickname. Afew have commented that you often think of my old threads. Mumsnetter have said this when they have said my situation sounds familiar when i have posted about a new problem.

Also some mumsnetters read back your old threads when you post with a problem and then bring your old thread up on your new thread which then affects the advice people give about the new problem you have posted about.

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 10-Apr-13 20:03:57

some people are more easily identifiable due to circumstances

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 10-Apr-13 20:04:28

that was to bowlersarm

Hassled Wed 10-Apr-13 20:07:08

I've namechanged a handful of times to ask about something which on its own probably wouldn't out me but, if added to other stuff I've said over the years, might well tell someone exactly who I am and what I think about quite sensitive stuff. Which I'd rather avoid.

And I have no problem with anyone else doing that. Or for namechanging for any reason at all unless they're goading.

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 10-Apr-13 20:07:08

say a French woman posts in mumsnet. she lives in a small town in the UK and mentions it by name in one post. In another posts she says she has 2 kids and a great dane, that's her outed. So when she announces her pregnancy and her boss reads it or she calls her neighbor a knob. Life suddenly gets difficult

DaisyFlower123 Wed 10-Apr-13 20:08:12

Bowler, some people may recognise a post, or a concern I raise. They would then be able to search under my username and see everything else I had ever posted, some of which is very personal and sensitive to me. Call it damage limitation, they are able to only then read a limited number of my posts rather than my whole history on mumsnet which is quite extensive!

thebody Wed 10-Apr-13 20:09:12

I probably should but can't be arsed.

Have posted some personal things about dd though but she aware.

Have also posted things I wish I hadn't but that's life.

SmellieWellies Wed 10-Apr-13 20:10:59

Circumstances, bowler and also writing style sometimes.

For me, well, I have written about problems with people in the past, and it is quite specific. I have an ongoing issue with an ex friend right now which very very occasionally I ask advice about in relationships, but for THIS nn, Smellie i use for fun, lighthearted stuff. Sometimes I will write about my job, and anyone who knows me well would suspect, as it is a fairly unusual job and then if they do a name search on you it would be easy to put 2 and 2 together.

Also, i have a blog, and sometimes make reference to it under my blog name, then nc for more personal stuff.

In the early days of being a mother i really had problems transitioning and had pnd. i wrote about that under another nn, as |i just needed the anonymity. Maybe i am overthinking it to think i have a 'profile' but it soothes me to know that i am putting some sort of obstacle in the way of people guessing who I am.

Bowlersarm Wed 10-Apr-13 20:11:37

But satsuki it wouldn't matter if they changed their username from bob to bill, Ben or whatever - they would still be recognisable in RL if they fice enough personal details on any situation-the user name becomes irrelevant

However I take on whatlosingexcessweight says, and if you have been particularly arsey on a thread it might be nice to have a fresh start on MN

LynetteScavo England Wed 10-Apr-13 20:12:24

name change sometimes, because I need to post about work/ my family/my intimate parts and don't want to be recongnised. Some family members know my talk name, and I don't want them to know every little thing about me.

It's about my on-line foot print.

SmellieWellies Wed 10-Apr-13 20:12:27

I think 'damage limitation' describes it exactly.

MandragoraWurzelstock Wed 10-Apr-13 20:15:18

the one time I NC'd for odd purposes was quite ingenious naughty actually and I should probably be banned for it

But it was many years ago

Losingexcessweight Wed 10-Apr-13 20:15:58

Bowler

I ve never been arsy on a thread, its just that alot of mumsnetters dont agree with my views on things, what i believe in, and the decisions i have made in my life.

But they do bring it up on my threads which annoys me as they have remembered what i have said previously.

Im always Saggy or a seasonal derivative thereof. I never say anything I wouldnt want repeated in real life. There is then no need to NC.

MandragoraWurzelstock Wed 10-Apr-13 20:22:58

also if you don't namechange but your situation changes, people will often refer you back to a prior thread without registering that you now see things differently and need different advice - perhaps because the original thread got sidetracked, misinterpreted etc.

Januarymadness Wed 10-Apr-13 20:23:44

I talk about personal issues on here. If I wanted everyone in rl to know my business I wouldd talk to people in rl. I cant very well say "aaarrrgghhh by bloody sil" and get it off my chest is darling sil might read it and know its me.

I dint nc as often as I should though. Hence still being a January grin grin

Bowlersarm Wed 10-Apr-13 20:25:41

losingexcessweight i didn't mean you when i said 'you'. It was a general you! Perhaps I should have said 'when one has been arsey....' !

elQuintoConyo Wed 10-Apr-13 20:26:40

I name-changed recently as I was bored of my old name: vamosbebe (c'mon, baby).
I'm now El Quinto Conyo (can't do a squiggly wave over the 'n' on my phone & MN registration didn't recognise it sad ) it means The Fifth Cunt smile and means 'the middle of nowhere' which suits me.
I didn't change to troll/post something too personal. I don't know anyone who is on MN so I feel quite safe.

tethersend Wed 10-Apr-13 20:29:08
ToggyD Wed 10-Apr-13 20:32:29

I think the bestest poster has to be Tiggy.

He's wise, beautiful, tall and sexy. He's also clever and warm and looks like Johnny Depp. He is very close to being the perfect human in just about all respects. If any mumsnetter were to be promoted to world leader I think it would have to be Tiggy.

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 10-Apr-13 20:33:11

bowlersarm cumulatively all the info leads you you knowing who she is, but not if she mentioned being French under one name and her dog under another and her town under yet another. Frequent name changing means you are much less likely to be spotted and even if you are they can only look up a few of your posts. I've been on mumsnet I don't even know how many names I've had

TiggyD Wed 10-Apr-13 20:34:19

And it's nice to know that there are posters out there as perceptive as you Toggy. smile

thegreylady Wed 10-Apr-13 20:34:51

I namechanged once because I found that my previous nn was someone's rl name smile

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 10-Apr-13 20:36:12

I agree with Toggy.grin
Tiggy is my favourite poster.

Gerrof Wed 10-Apr-13 20:36:49

I have tried to namexhange loads of times but always feel naked on here without my getorf variant name, which makes me sound like a cosmic wanker but still.

There have been lots of probs with stirring caused by named hanging but essentially I don't think name changing for innocent reasons is a problem.

BOF Wed 10-Apr-13 20:38:32

Is CosmicWanker taken? grin

kim147 Wed 10-Apr-13 20:38:42

named hanging sounds serious grin

Who's on your list?

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 10-Apr-13 20:41:15

shock i have had 47 name changes!

About a 1/3 I would say are joke names I changed for a specific thread.

Most of the are super awesome though Anyone looking for a super awesome name, I apoligise for having taken them all sad

HolyMackerel Wed 10-Apr-13 20:42:08

I've been here for seven years shock but name change quite regularly. I was outed in RL in a pretty damaging way, as far as being verbally threatened over something I had posted on here, and learnt my lesson to NC!

I also know quite a few people who use MN, and have realised I know who a couple of posters are, so they could likewise work out who I am - which is fine sometimes, but sometimes I may post something a bit personal that I don't want some people in my RL knowing!

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 10-Apr-13 20:42:09

TiggyD is alright, but I reckon the ToggyD is a bit of a wanker

kim147 Wed 10-Apr-13 20:42:18

With so many name changes, I bet there's only 100 real users.

HolyMackerel Wed 10-Apr-13 20:44:19

grin

CosmicWanker Wed 10-Apr-13 20:50:14

Haha bof LOOK AT ME!

HolofernesesHead Wed 10-Apr-13 20:53:32

I have nced a few times, to talk about personal stuff. If someone who knew me relatively well in RL printed out all of my MN posts ever, they could work out my identity no problem. I'm not averse to voicing opinions and standing by my convictions, and maybe I'm kidding myself that ncing gives any anonymity anyway, but I couldn't have said some of the stuff I have said on here without ncing. It was one of the things that first attracted me to MN, and probably one of the reasons i've stayed.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Wed 10-Apr-13 20:59:41

I've NCed several times over many years on MN.

On both occasions I was very upset by a thread that got heated and personal. I deleted my account and walked away from MN.

A few months later I came back, with a thicker skin and a new name and fresh start.

Don't diss people for doing it, we need anonymity and we need to be able to feel we can have a break when it all gets too much.

It can get rough on MN. I've thought this place is much tougher and harder over the last twelve months or so in particular. I've switched my PC shaking like a leaf more than once.

It IS a leisure activity after all, and a voluntary recreational site. We shouldn't police everything about it or people will just go.

FreudiansSlipper Wed 10-Apr-13 21:24:19

what does it matter who you debating with why do you op change your views do you hold back more of you like someone

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Wed 10-Apr-13 21:37:25

I never namechange because I would instantly out myself even if I did [sigh].

I don't care what anyone calls themselves (though I agree it's sad when someone "nice" just disappears), but n-changing to goad is pathetic. Especially when the original name appears to agree with the goader hmm.

I think that an op's posts should be highlighted all the way through the thread so that even if they sockpuppet namechange mid-thread they give themselves away. That would stop a lot of name-changing-to-post-a-nasty-op and then causing a bunfight under a different name, which I think happens a lot hmm

thebody Wed 10-Apr-13 21:39:12

Maryz spot on.

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 10-Apr-13 21:40:54

that's a good idea maryz

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 10-Apr-13 21:43:34

I have nearly sock puppeted myself on zombie threads. Not to deceive, just thought the clever poster ahead of me was talking loads of sense before realizing it was old blush

M0naLisa Wed 10-Apr-13 21:52:51

I don't get it either tbh. I have done it once or twice but I think why?

Why not say what I have to say in my own name? So I do! grinwink

Machli Wed 10-Apr-13 21:55:29

I name changed when I got into a "discussion" with someone on a thread and they sent me some quite vicious PM's. Not scared, just couldn't be arsed with being "watched". I've been on here for 7 years, got MN FB friends and everything! wink

thebody Wed 10-Apr-13 21:57:48

Who in hell sends vicious Pms. Report it machli.

Machli Wed 10-Apr-13 22:08:01

That's not the first time.

I got someone send me a PM after a "discussion". I replied a couple of hours later, not unpleasantly, a bit piss taking I suppose and she sent me one back saying "how dare you take this off the thread, what's the matter with you? Blah blah blah. I was like hmmconfused and said "Er hold on YOU PM'd first. Were you drunk or something and can't remember? Then forwarded her a copy of HER PM. Never heard from her again grin.

Then was the one that I got talking to on a thread, gave her LOADS of support as it was a subject close to my heart. So we started PMing, found out we lived close to each other so arranged to meet up and go to an exhibition. She sent me her phone number. I was going to call nearer the time as the arrangement was months away. Switched on one day to find a PM from accusing me of being a MAN grin and making all my posts and I mean ALL of them up. I contacted MN Towers about her and blocked her.

So I tend not to get too fussed about name changing really and it's not about being cowardly it's just easier sometimes.

WorraLiberty England Wed 10-Apr-13 22:10:37

I understand why people NC if they think someone knows them or they want to post something personal.

But I think there's far too much abuse of the NC facility with people NC-ing to have a dig or just because shock-horror someone may disagree with them.

everlong Wed 10-Apr-13 22:11:26

Oh my fucking god machii you don't have much luck with pm's do you!

A man!!

Machli Wed 10-Apr-13 22:13:53

I know!! I can grin now but at the time I was quite gutted to be honest I had really gone out of my way to support her and talk about her situation because she seemed really sad. I try to be understanding and think well maybe she was just in a bad place but it did freak me out a bit.

flaminhoopsaloolah Wed 10-Apr-13 22:16:10

IMO its sensible to name change every once in a while for reasons other posters have mentioned - NC doesnt necessarily make a member a coward

TiggyD Wed 10-Apr-13 22:19:14

I've never name changed on this site or any other. I don't talk about anything particularly sensitive so I have no need to. I can understand why some people do though. It doesn't make people a coward. It might mean they're shy.

thebody Wed 10-Apr-13 22:22:53

O have only had it sent supportive Pms. That for me is the way it should be.

We all love a good old ding dong on aibu but to pursue someone like that is vile.

LittleEdie Wed 10-Apr-13 22:42:47

When I first started posting I name changed lots of times. I hadn't quite got the hang of the whole thing and would feel daft or embarrassed when I thought about what I'd posted. Think I ended up calling people a bunch of idiots on a homeopathy thread once grin. In no uncertain terms.

Have had this name for a while now...till the next time.

LittleEdie Wed 10-Apr-13 23:14:51

Ooh, you should put that on 'site stuff' Maryz

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Wed 10-Apr-13 23:27:20

I think I probably have LittleEdie. I think they said something about people accidentally outing themselves on embarrassing threads, so they don't want to do it.

But I think they are wrong and that it would catch sockpuppets.

Though these days I think people use multiple registrations from multiple IP addresses and multiple email addresses to cause the most trouble, rather than just namechanging [sigh]

almostanotherday Wed 10-Apr-13 23:34:46

I don't know how to NC

blush

Hopasholic Thu 11-Apr-13 00:21:58

grin terthersend's link. That wasn't you holymackrel was it? Just thought it would have been a very fitting nickname!

I name change all the time! Is that naughty? I do it because I wouldn't want anyone from RL to know that I'm on here because I use MN to vent about RL people in a snarky fashion and because sometimes I post idiotic things after I've had too much wine and them I'm embarrassed and must don a disguise to save (virtual) face. My profile and pics always stay the same though, if anyone knows enough to check.

sayithowitis Thu 11-Apr-13 00:34:27

I have a couple of names I use depending on what I am posting. This is the name I use 99% of the time and the name that I have used to post some very personal stuff that I would not anyone in RL to know about. I am usually very careful when I use this name NOT to say anything that could lead back to me if one of my RL friends/relatives was to read it. I also need to be careful when posting personal stuff because I would not want to be identifiable to anyone who knows me through my work. Occasionally, I will adjust certain pieces of info slightly for the same reasons.

I also have another name which I use now and again, when I am posting about something fairly innocuous where it makes no difference whether I am recognised or not.

I do agree there can be an issue with NC just to begin a 'goady' thread, but I think most of the NC's I see, are usually for similar reasons to my own, or, as others have said, to stop/prevent stalking.

LittleEdie Thu 11-Apr-13 00:45:17

I honestly can't say I've ever read anything on here and thought 'I bet someone's name changed to post that goady thread'. I suppose I see the whole thing as not being quite real.

whokilleddannylatimer Thu 11-Apr-13 00:50:01

I've name changed every couple of months for last 7 years.

Both my mum and exh have been known to read.

CautionaryWhale Thu 11-Apr-13 01:24:49

I have posted regularly since 2009 and have name changed probably 8x or so...

1x as I tend to have verbal diarrhoea and once put way too much embarrassing personal stuff down

2x as I realised I was writing readily identifiable info which if you were sad enough to do all posts by search would out me and I like being anonymous

3x as I get bored easily so a name change was similar to how I move my furniture around

4x as my DD likes to read over my shoulder and once found out nn and pw

5x as I swore to leave mn and do my rl stuff so deregistered

6x as I have a memory like a seive and had forgotten pw etc

7x as a couple of occasions I have bit back when usually I am not so petty so have booted the snide persona to be fluffy me once more

Don't think I have ever nc to air an unpopular opinion as I sit on the fence on most issues - which is probably more chickenshit than being a gobshite having strong opinions.

I think Geri Halliwell amongst others deleting their pro-Thatcher tweets was shite though - I am no fan of Thatcher hailing from a former colliery town - but think changing your mind under pressure is sheep like, bit like that Fast Show character who would always agree with everyone and go back on themselves every statement.

Might not agree with people on here all the time but defend their right to say what they think.

HeavenlyYoni Thu 11-Apr-13 01:28:17

I'm a regular namechanger, more recently was HeavenlyAmy but well you know, in support of Brian and all that smile

isteppedinto Thu 11-Apr-13 01:45:09

This:
"Yes, I've had a bad experience with somebody who took it upon herself to out me. (She thought I deserved it) It was to punish me for posts she didn't like. There are some crazies who should know better.

MN won't let us delete our old posts, so we've no control over what's up here. Best policy is to name change very frequently imo."

And this:
"I also know quite a few people who use MN, and have realised I know who a couple of posters are, so they could likewise work out who I am - which is fine sometimes, but sometimes I may post something a bit personal that I don't want some people in my RL knowing!"

If you know quite a few MNers in RL, you can't be sure that they won't repeat what they read on here. We don't take oaths of silence.

But it's mainly the thought of crazies tracking down my dc that makes me nc. It's never happened to me (unlike whoever posted the first quote above) but it's perfectly obvious that it could happen at the drop of a hat. Mad not to take precautions against that happening imo.

Bogeyface Netherlands Thu 11-Apr-13 01:59:24

I am easily identified by people who know me irl simply by my job and family size/type, so if I want to post something that I dont want to risk getting out irl then I change my name. Sometimes I will later link to it under this name if I have then "come out" with whatever problem it was (as I did when my husband had an affair) but I prefer some things to be private, or as private as they can be when on line.

Bogeyface Netherlands Thu 11-Apr-13 02:01:18

I have never NC to air a nasty/bitchy/bullying post. I hope I have never posted like that, but anything that I know will be unpopular (the recent Thatcher threads being a good example) I will do it under this name as I havethe courage of my convictions and dont need to hide.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Thu 11-Apr-13 06:23:36

Hmm I think passive aggressive goaders are worse

shellbu Thu 11-Apr-13 07:50:37

if you want things to stay private why post it online , and what the hell is being posted if you think people are going to track down your kids lol , its just an opinion and chat site , if you dont post nasty shit you wont get abuse , if its that private you can always inbox a reply to the person, if its about you and that private keep it to yourself , if you wrote what you believe i dont see why you would want to delete old posts .

forbetterorworsted Thu 11-Apr-13 08:18:26

I name change on here and other forums regularly.

Otherwise all it would take is a quick google and suddenly my whole life is accessible to anyone who wants to know!

forbetterorworsted Thu 11-Apr-13 08:23:25

I name change on here and other forums regularly.

Otherwise all it would take is a quick google and suddenly my whole life is accessible to anyone who wants to know!

hedgefund Thu 11-Apr-13 08:23:33

people do respond to you differently is they 'knew' you under a name you had used regularly, and though this is good sometimes, sometimes you just want people's opinions as if you were a newbie iykwim

so op in a way i disagree with you and thik it's cowardly NOT to namechange wink

flaminhoopsaloolah Thu 11-Apr-13 08:37:21

Shellbu - you don't have to post something nasty to have a RLp be actively looking cor you online without your knowledge - life is full of crazy stalker people.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 11-Apr-13 08:59:47

if you dont post nasty shit you wont get abuse

You don't have to post nasty shit to get abused on here.

shellbu Thu 11-Apr-13 09:05:19

flaminhoopsaloolah i know there are some crazy people out there and can imagine some getting really het up if you dont agree with them ,but how can people find out where you live and your real name from this site, im new on here , now im getting worried in case someone is pissed with me for something i said thats innocent on my behalf lol .

aufaniae Thu 11-Apr-13 09:46:47

OP I think you have a narrow view of why people NC, for many of us it's not to say annoying things! Hopefully this thread has enlightened you?

I've been here good few years now and I NC every so often, for a number of reasons.

I have RL friends who post here too, and know who I am. Also DP knows my posting name. I NC if I'm going to talk about something sensitive, as I feel inhibited talking about very personal stuff if I think RL people might be reading it!

I also NC every so often just because I feel like it / think of a new name I like. This name relates to fertility goddesses, and I NCed to it before joining a TTC thread, after TTCing for some months already.

"are you so scared someone on here wont think you're great anymore?" I'm not here for a popularity contest! I find that a strange way of thinking tbh.

I like the anonymity of the site. I like that we can have a discussion about something and don't know who each other are. tbh sometimes I don't even look at people's names, I just read what they've said. I like the free exchange of ideas, and that even though many of us wouldn't cross paths in RL, as we come from massively different worlds, but we can have a chat without the usual societal assumptions and prejudices getting in the way. It makes it about what's being said, not the person so much, and I think this can be a good thing.

People have started recognising me with this name and I find it a bit odd tbh, I kind of assume I'm just talking into the ether and no one's really paying that much attention to what I say!

Having said that I guess I do like recognising posters from support threads (e.g. ante-natal / TTC), people I consider experts (e.g. tiktok) and posters whose political opinions I respect; also there are a handful of antagonistic bullies posters and rightwingers who I see and think "not you again!"

aufaniae Thu 11-Apr-13 09:54:22

shellbu this is a massive site with lots of topics, try venturing out of AIBU!

People post personal stuff on all sorts of topics, it's not just about chat and debate. People also post about very personal stuff that's going on in their lives, e.g. relationships, illness, their MILs etc.

People do reveal personal info. Sometimes it's not a particular thread that would identify a person, it's all their threads together. Mumsnet is googlable. It's easy to feel we're having a cosy chat together, but actually there are many more lurkers than posters (as is true for most chat sites) and we're on a platform for all to see. The importance of protecting your identity online is something people need to be aware of - not just on mumsnet.

isteppedinto Thu 11-Apr-13 09:54:24

I fully agree with Aufaniae's post. Shellbu, to avoid crazy people stalking you, just name-change regularly, and then no-one can put all your posts together and work out who you are in RL. It amazes me that people dont realise how easy it is to identify people from just a few posts. If people are bonkers enough to sockpuppet, they are bonkers enough to stalk.

isteppedinto Thu 11-Apr-13 09:55:33

OK, both of Aufaniae's posts. wink

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Thu 11-Apr-13 09:59:24

I have only NC'd for two reasons - one when I lost my log in details from my first reg, and because my Ex was stalking me online...

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Thu 11-Apr-13 10:01:30

(Apart from seasonal NC's, which always have 'Couthy' in there somewhere, so I'm still 'me' IYSWIM...)

shellbu Thu 11-Apr-13 10:07:26

aufaniae your right ive only looked at a couple of forums , and posted in a few , i dont mind if people i know know its me on here , but i wouldnt like someone to take offence and start pestering me on here then try and find out where i live and so on , find that all a bit scary , can you really find out someones name and address on here unless they have said i live in blah blah or use their own name ?

i name change every couple of months, but its to remain anonymous.

I've BEEN a 'well known' name on MN before and it didnt end well... i ended up being hounded and deregged and it spilled over quite nastily into my real life and caused some pretty severe PND.

While i miss my mn friends, i dont miss my 'enemies' and i'm quite happy bimbling along being a relative unknown.

I think name changing just to be a cunt isn't very nice though.

isteppedinto Thu 11-Apr-13 10:12:52

Here's an example. There are only some areas of UK with grammar schools. So you reveal that dc are at grammar schools; in another thread you reveal that one is doing Latin at A level and is a rower. So the grammar school is near a river, offers rowing, and quite possibly declares on its website that it's the only grammar with a single sex sixth form offering Latin. Bingo. TMI as far as I'm concerned. Then you reveal your area of professional expertise ("I'm a midwife") Colleagues will immediately know it's you. That's fewer than half a dozen posts.

Rosesforrosie Thu 11-Apr-13 10:13:25

I've had 3 major name changes.

First time because I didn't like my original name so after a few months I was starting to be embarrassed by it. Loved my second name and was going to keep it forever but then last week 2 things happened, I accidentally offended some people and got a bit of a flaming and while I was still licking my wounds about that my sister used my home PC and saw my user name, the resulting conversation was excruciating....

That was it tbh, I nearly deregged entirely, but I settled for a massive NC!

arabesque Thu 11-Apr-13 10:18:20

I namechanged recently because a couple of people ganged up on me quite nastily over something really really trivial and it upset me and made me lose confidence in myself under that name (if that makes any sense).
I just wanted to reinvent myself and come back as a different person.

aufaniae Thu 11-Apr-13 10:21:12

Thanks isteppedinto! grin

flaminhoopsaloolah Thu 11-Apr-13 10:25:03

county gives a very good reason why some might name change...stalking exP.

shellbu Thu 11-Apr-13 10:27:50

i take back that i said its cowardly to name change now, i was just thinking people did it to say something nasty then go back to their other name , thanks for the example isteppedinto , i just saw how you can get peoples old posts up , so yes you can go digging and find things out about them , shame there are people that get so riled up they want to hound you in real life , im going to look out the window to see if there are any suspicious looking people lurking smile

FinallyMrsFC Thu 11-Apr-13 10:36:11

I name change occasionally, if I have something personal or difficult I want to discuss. If you are part of a quiche (ESH, shiney, nobodies,) they will all know you well and you might not want them to know.

HolyMackerel Thu 11-Apr-13 11:05:52

Hopasholic shock noooooooooo that was not me!

I gave an honest opinion based on true facts about my DC's nursery, combined with other info I had put on here they worked out who I was and - aargh lots of grief! Hence I NC every few months or so smile

SophiaTheFirst Thu 11-Apr-13 11:10:33

Some people have very good, real life reasons for name changing regularly.

arabesque Thu 11-Apr-13 11:15:11

Also, some people just don't want the hassle of becoming known to regular posters and having some of them bearing grudges or trawling over old posts etc. A lot of us just come on here for a bit of fun and distraction and don't really want to get involved in serious stuff.

HolyMackerel Thu 11-Apr-13 11:17:47

Amen to that arabesque!

I name change if I am going to post something that could out me e.g. when someone asked for info about the school my DC go to I name changed to reply.

LtEveDallas Thu 11-Apr-13 11:22:12

I don't generally NC, (have had 3 posting names in 9 years) but have NC a couple of times for specific reasons. Once when I was asking for 'professional' advice on a very sticky subject and a couple of times for 'relationship' reasons - I hardly ever post about DH here and would like to keep it that way.

I agree that NCing just to post something goady is a cowardly thing to do, but I'd like to think that its not something that the more prolific regulars do - it's generally too easy to spot their NC's in any case!

everlong Thu 11-Apr-13 11:23:07

I don't think anybody has a gripe about nc'ing apart from doing so to be a goady swine and to hide your normal ID.

fromparistoberlin Thu 11-Apr-13 11:28:52

yanbu

BUT...I've done it, yup

fromparistoberlin Thu 11-Apr-13 11:29:12

I would rather not be hated thanks! fuck integrity!!!!

everlong Thu 11-Apr-13 11:36:57

I disagree Berlin

I'd rather stand up for something I believe and be hated than have to NC because I'm a chicken.

fromparistoberlin Thu 11-Apr-13 11:41:30

In RL, I stand my ground. always.

not on MN though, you can get fucking FLAMED for an agreement that goes against the mainstream. Its not nice, and its often unfair

so a few times I have made a measure decision to NC

But I am staying as this name, and shutting the fuck up moving forward!

everlong Thu 11-Apr-13 11:44:22

Yes a flaming isn't good. Maybe I'm stubborn or I just don't really care enough.

I do know when to draw the line though.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 11-Apr-13 11:45:42

*I namechanged recently because a couple of people ganged up on me quite nastily over something really really trivial and it upset me and made me lose confidence in myself under that name (if that makes any sense).
I just wanted to reinvent myself and come back as a different person.*

arabesque. you are not alone, That's happened to me. It can be really upsetting.

kim147 Thu 11-Apr-13 12:00:06

No point namechanging as I do tend to get passionate about certain subjects which easily identify me smile

But I'm careful what I post about and there's things I won't talk about. That's the beauty of PMS.

kim147 Thu 11-Apr-13 12:00:21

PMs - not PMS grin

everlong Thu 11-Apr-13 12:13:06

Lol at pms.

mrsjay Thu 11-Apr-13 12:14:54

grin PMS I need to namechange on that week i am vile blush

SarahAndFuck England Thu 11-Apr-13 12:33:54

I name change quite often, but I don't swap back and forth between old names to post different opinions or sock-puppet or anything. I just like to have a new name now and again.

I was found on another forum by relatives I didn't want to speak to, so regular name changing is a habit now.

Plus I've had the same experience on here as Arabesque and although I only recognise one of the names from then as still being on here, I'd prefer them not to recognise me either. I tend to avoid threads started by the person I still recognise, and even threads she's replied to, even though I've changed name several times since she and her friends ripped into me.

And it's nice to have a new name sometimes, although it does mean it's hard to join a quiche or get a mention on those "whose your favourite MN" threads.

fromparistoberlin Thu 11-Apr-13 13:05:56

yes, no quiches or MN-fave for us name changers

then again, I come on MN for fun and banter and advice, not friendship per se

but some people do, and fairplay to em

shellbu Thu 11-Apr-13 13:17:36

do you mean clique berlin or is quiches a term used on here i dont know about ?

aufaniae Thu 11-Apr-13 13:19:23

quiches means cliques on MN, shellbu. IIRC someone got the words confused a while back and it's stuck.

Samu2 Thu 11-Apr-13 13:31:38

I don't name change but very interesting reading why other people do though.

I belong to a tight knit community, it is great that we all know each other etc I get this board is different but I like posting and people knowing me and name changing regularly must prevent that.

I also do not care if anyone IRL recognises me. If I say something stupid I own it and just carry on posting as me and people will eventually forget smile I am also an open book and wouldn't talk about anything here that I would talk openly about to people I know IRL.

kim147 Thu 11-Apr-13 13:35:35

I'm on other forums and you do get to know the other people and their posting styles. Some people give a lot away and some just post on certain things.

I think MN is different as it is a well known site and it's possible to post on some very personal stuff - especially about relationships and DCs that you don't want the world to know about.

I'd namechange (and have) to post about stuff that I don't want to be identifiable back to me. Then I NC back again.

My MN name is easy to guess for anyone who knows me. I name change to post about certain things that I don't want certain people to know about.

shellbu Thu 11-Apr-13 14:23:04

thanks aufaniae just had to look up iirc as well smile

isteppedinto Thu 11-Apr-13 15:36:06

So now that so many of us have so comprehensively and exhaustively explained why we name-change, any chance that the non-name-changers could lay off us a bit? grin

ShowMeTheYoni Thu 11-Apr-13 15:41:37

I name change quite frequently. I post things that could out me in RL and my job is worth more than that. Easier to namechange, post as I like and keep anonymity.

EllieFunt Thu 11-Apr-13 16:11:18

It's just good e-safety, frankly.

I have asked for support on some very personal stuff that not even my nearest and dearest know about.

I don't want my colleagues to know anything about my life that I don't tell them myself.

I am also very, very famous lies

isteppedinto Thu 11-Apr-13 16:15:56

Yes that's the other thing EllieFunt. The papparazzi, the horrors of front page exposure. All becau7se of Mumsnet.

higgle Thu 11-Apr-13 16:27:01

For most of us does it really matter if people know who we are? All i do is talk to nice people on style and beauty and the dog house and on an odd foray elsewhere ( esp Feminism) get seriously flamed. How does it matter what name I use or if my neighbour realises who it is?

isteppedinto Thu 11-Apr-13 16:55:00

Would you not be bothered about work colleagues, higgle? Or clients?

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