To think I may have cursed my child with middleagedteendom.

(38 Posts)
IdiotishPrattle Wed 10-Apr-13 15:08:18

DD (16) and her boyfriend are going to a Steampunk event. They are going dressed in 'character', no problem with that, they have attended other such events, mixed with other such young people similarly attired and had a great time.
This time it is being held in a venue outside of the city centre, with only the facilities available that belong to the venue, as its touristy, they can be quite pricey. DD has just told me they are planning on taking a picnic and flask of tea.
I jokingly suggested they took a picnic blanket as well, which she took to be a very good suggestion instead of a joke.

Where have I gone wrong with my parenting?
I feel like I've failed somehow.

They should be planning on slurping a couple of cans and eating bags of chips, while standing nonchalantly amongst these Steampunk, Gothic types, not taking a bloody flask of tea with them, like an auld biddy on a day trip.
Perhaps its my fault, but I blame places like the N.T, she must have had too much exposure when she was younger. I need to re read their 50 things to do malarky and see if it includes 'pottering around the gift shop', 'lugging a flask of tea' and 'commenting on the quality of the scones'.

So would I be unreasonable to hide all our flasks before the event?

I feel it would be a merciful action to save them from themselves, preventing them from prematurely looking for Bargain Hunt on iplayer and flicking through the Lakeland catalogue.

Is middleagedteendom the new rebellion of the youth of today? Might I be exposing them to ridicule and embarrassment, without these status symbols of revolution and youth culture? ( or flask and picnic blanket as I call it)

I'm just going to try and find Steampunk type cagoules now, in case it rains on the day, or maybe they still do those plastic headscarves my granny used to be fond of.

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate Wed 10-Apr-13 15:10:16

Snort.

Maybe all this sensible behaviour is to distract you from the copious quantities of snakebite they plan to consume and is purely for 'stomach lining' purposes?

zukiecat Wed 10-Apr-13 15:14:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrauMoose Wed 10-Apr-13 15:17:01

My daughter has had to tell me off for snickering at speeches by senior members at her school parents' evenings....

Still18atheart Wed 10-Apr-13 15:30:27

I was a middle aged teen. It got to the point where at 13 my dm told me that i tended to dress in frumpy looking clothes

hmm

CatsInCustard Wed 10-Apr-13 15:39:56

Well personally I see nothing wrong with being prepared and saving money

Boredwench Wed 10-Apr-13 15:40:36

Hmm.... Torn...

One side of me thinks it's a thinly veiled way of boasting "look how well my children have turned out when they should be feral fuckwits like everyone else's"

Or

you've raised kids that aren't swayed by opinion and think for themselves

IdiotishPrattle Wed 10-Apr-13 15:47:42

I feel like I'm in some sort of Ad Fab type parenting set up sometimes. How did I get this sensible offspring, is this really my child?

Amanda Oh that could be it, I'll check to see if she makes milky tea!

Zukiecat I am sure she's channeling my Great Grandma, when DD is talking about how other people are dressed when wearing skimpy or impractical things. grin

FrauMoose Glad its not just me then.

DD1 is just as bad, talking about possible university places with her friend, recommended one place because they are supposed to have a good Christmas market! confused I dared her to ask about it on the Open Day, which she did when others asked about the night life etc, she has no shame in her premature middleageness.

You're fine. It's a form of revolution. They are actually non-conformists.

motherinferior Wed 10-Apr-13 15:51:29

Are you sure they aren't, in fact, just going to sneak off to swig cider and have wild teenage sex in his bedroom?

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Wed 10-Apr-13 15:55:12

I was like this as a teenager, very sensible - until I went to uni and learned to party.
She will have wild times in the future but you can be reassured she'll be the one getting everyone safely home at the end of the night.

BTW I don't see it as a boast, I would be equally concerned grin

Geeklover Wed 10-Apr-13 15:59:00

I was a middle aged teen now I'm a teen middle aged grin
Don't worry I'm sure she will make up for it.

Scrazy Wed 10-Apr-13 16:03:56

It's a rebellion against us, I say. Mine is the same, very sensible and mature beyond her years. Total non conformist and so different from the teens of today. I'm hoping she changes as she gets into her 20's grin

IdiotishPrattle Wed 10-Apr-13 16:04:11

But Boredwench should I really be boasting about a teenager and a flask of tea? Is it a sign that they have turned out well or have I failed them somehow and they are now doomed to granny behaviour prematurely?

When I was a young warthog, I certainly wouldn't have taken a flask, I'd have gone to the pub instead, but certainly didn't think of myself as some 'feral fuckwit', just average teenage behaviour in those days of not much ID checking.

Boredwench Wed 10-Apr-13 16:49:41

Idiotish...

Look at as you like, you know mumsnet is full of competative parents trying to outdo each other.....anyway, putting my cautionary cynicism aside!!

Kids these days can't win, if they are unruly/rebellious then they're seen as 'feral fuckwits' as I elegantly put it! Or if they're mild mannered and prefer the 'middle aged' things you mentioned then they're seen as boring and unimaginative (look at some of the comments on a recent BBC article on said subject). On the whole I find kids are walking contradictions, it depends on the context whether they're unruly or not.

I think back to my childhood and we used to smoke weed whilst doing various physics based things (did a masters in astrophysics). Hard to be a 'rebel' with a joint in one hand when you're staying up all night finishing off some papers for uni the next day!! It depends who's asking the question and the person answering it!!

badtime Wed 10-Apr-13 17:39:43

A picnic basket is more in keeping with a steampunk theme than flinging a few things in a bag. Nothing to do with middle-agedness.

ariadneoliver Wed 10-Apr-13 18:04:16

Sounds fun, I wish I was young enough to be prematurely middle aged instead if just middle aged then I'd have the energy to make this steam punk picnic: cookingsteampunk.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/picnic-luncheon-plan.html
smile

MadamFolly Wed 10-Apr-13 18:21:59

I was not that sensible as a teen or at uni but act comfortably middle aged now I am the grand old age of 23 grin

I am sensible with money, don't go out drinking much and am all interested in stuff like National Trust properties and MN.

IdiotishPrattle Wed 10-Apr-13 20:19:26

Ah so it's just being steam punk to take a flask and I don't have to worry she'll be subscribing to Caravaners Weekly next. Thank god for thatsmile

I might have mocked her a bit, but I love the fact she knows her own mind, even if it is a middleaged onegrin

I was a middle aged teen. I spent many an evening waiting up for my mother and berating her when she got home late from the pub grin
She has now got all her fingers and toes crossed that my own dc have their own serious teen rebellion involving lots of drugs, sex and tattoos hmmgrin

landofsoapandglory Wed 10-Apr-13 20:41:37

DS1(18) is a middleagedteen as well.

We were driving home from town today and he said "you know mother (I hate it when he calls me that), if you drove at 60 instead of 70, like I do, you'd get far more miles to the gallon!"

Then, after dinner I was in the kitchen and he came through and said, "good drying weather forecast for the weekend, mother!"

He and his friends are off to Malia after A levels and they have just realised they'd have been more suited to a more sedate resort!

ubik Wed 10-Apr-13 20:51:28

What us Steampunk?

CuppaSarah Wed 10-Apr-13 21:06:10

I think the whole tea and picnic thing is part of the steampunk culture. The fashions based around Victorian fashion with a twist, so I think drinking tea and having a lovey picnic is part of the whole 'experience'

ubik Wed 10-Apr-13 21:09:13

Blimey we used to take glo sticks and recreational drugs. How times have changed shock

RubyGates Wed 10-Apr-13 21:10:57

Tea is the epitome of Steampunk.
Without tea and fancy cakes and lovely picnic rugs how would one show off one's lovely finary.

You have reached the pinacle of parenthood. Take a bow. grin

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Thu 11-Apr-13 00:24:29

I was a middle aged teen and I sadly never grew out of it.

IdiotishPrattle Fri 12-Apr-13 10:51:05

Steampunk is a sort of Victorian era, steam technology and science fiction mix. Think Robert Downey JR's Sherlock, but with googles on the hats.

landofsoapandglory I love the driving advice grin

Thank you for all who have educated me about the essentialness of tea in Steampunk, the Victorian era and the sacred art of tea drinking, it should have been obvious to me and I feel blush now that I didn't make the connection earlier.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Perhaps a rebellious octogenarianhood awaits you. smile

Oh I have one of those. He's like Saffy to my Edina.
I was teaching him to drive and after the third life threatening event in 5 minutes I swore. Actually said the F word. He has never in all his 17 years heard me swear and was shock, nor has he ever sworn apparently. He had a quiet word with DH about it when we got home who had to keep a straight face.
There are lots of things he doesn't approve of. Wears judgy pants.

Sokmonsta Fri 12-Apr-13 11:00:56

Embarrasses self by revealing aged 18, went on a New Years night out complete with coat and scarf. And was horrified at the girl walking round in hot pants, uggs and a crop top - she must have been freezing! (We were in and out of clubs too so I didn't really need the coat except for standing in long queues).

HairyGrotter Fri 12-Apr-13 11:09:53

I'm 32 and still use glow sticks and recreational drugs...

I think the picnic idea is perfect for the 'scene' as it were. Glad the goths are cheering up a bit, they were terrible drinking company when I was younger.

I'm not sure how I'd feel if DD was sensible. Like another poster said, I'm a bit fearful of the whole Ab Fab thing happening. I never really grew up

IdiotishPrattle Fri 12-Apr-13 11:11:02

That's how I feel secretscwirrels, plunged into our own version of Ab Fab, it wrong foots me, makes me want to rebel against her and then I remember, I'm actually the parent here.

I have to be careful what I write about her as she's on Mumsnet as well, loves it, tells me about interesting treads I might have missed.

Trills Fri 12-Apr-13 11:14:14

Tea sounds quite steampunky to me. smile

IdiotishPrattle Fri 12-Apr-13 11:17:36

Nothing wrong with a sensible coat Sokmonsta, I hate being cold even when a teen. Perhaps its hereditary and I've passed her the middleagedteen gene * recalls teenager years, no, I wasn't that sensible *

chrome100 Fri 12-Apr-13 11:21:59

I was very sensible until I hit about 25 then went wild and crazy and made up for lost time. Just warning you...

quoteunquote Fri 12-Apr-13 11:54:47

Somewhere there is a picture of some friend and I taken early one sunny morning, we all have mohawks , hard core punks, sitting on the stones at Glastonbury, top of the green fields, we are all knitting.

Your DD on Mumsnet!
Mine think it's about swapping recipes and household hints wink.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 12-Apr-13 12:40:00

My DD is like this too.

<<Sigh>>

There's me, yearning for the illegal forest raves and illicit substances that went along with that... and she is talking to me about why girls want to go out with little more than a belt on.

She asked to go through my old clothes to see if there was anything she might want, and I got disapproving sighs and tuts and comments like "weren't you freezing, going out in that..."

She's middle aged at just 15...

Annunziata Fri 12-Apr-13 12:42:06

I'd love a middle aged teen.

I'll swap you DD's leopardprint top that she thinks is a dress, ok?

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