To be bothered that a mother and father shaking newborn to pacify him/her.

(37 Posts)
whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:30:38

Last night, this new mom and dad came out for a meal at the restaurant i work at with newborn baby. Lovely couple and sweet baby, must have been at the most 3 weeks old. Especially the dad, while the mum was eating her meal, was holding their baby and kept bouncing him on his knee very fast and was jolting the baby. I suppose that was his way to pacify the baby, but i did not think bouncing/shaking up and down fast would be any good for such a small infant. Your thoughts.

Coconutty Tue 09-Apr-13 14:33:53

He was balancing a 3 week old on his knee?

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:35:29

Yes, holding it undereath the chin with one hand other hand around is lap.

CSIJanner Tue 09-Apr-13 14:35:47

^ what Coconutty said ^

Your title makes it sound like they gave bubba a full on shake. Was it jigging?

CSIJanner Tue 09-Apr-13 14:36:35

Xposted.

Well, that's not good. Did mum not say anything?

MrsHoarder Tue 09-Apr-13 14:37:14

So this baby was 3 weeks old, couldn't support its own head, smile or anything?

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:41:33

Oh trust me they were shaking it none stop. You know like as if you would make the sound aaaaaaa...aaaaaa....aaaaaaa. No could not support itself, he was at the most 3 weeks. I think they were trying to keep him from crying. The mom did not say anything.

Coconutty Tue 09-Apr-13 14:44:13

So did you say anything to them about this?

MrsHoarder Tue 09-Apr-13 14:44:45

If that's the case, why didn't you intervene to protect a defenceless baby?

Booyhoo Tue 09-Apr-13 14:45:06

the dad was holding baby's head though?

TheFallenNinja Tue 09-Apr-13 14:46:21

Did they leave a tip?

nailak Tue 09-Apr-13 14:46:50

i dont think this is shaking at all! this is more like rocking. My babies loved being rocked quickly, or jiggled on my knee. This was also how the midwife in the hospital showed me to wind dd1!

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:47:42

Good question, I felt like saying something to them but was not sure if I would have been over stepping my business as this was a full restaurant i would not have been the only one to see this. But it did bother me inside.

maddening Tue 09-Apr-13 14:48:43

Was it jiggling or whaking?

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:48:51

Awwh so that would not have caused anything bad. Ok glad to hear it and feel better to know.

I used to do this (without the overly dramatic title of 'shaking a newborn') with ds as it was the only way to get his wind up. I'd support his head (as this dad was doing) and bounce him on my knee. If you were so concerned about this shaking incident you should have call SS or the police hmm

VitoCorleone Tue 09-Apr-13 14:49:06

Could have been trying to wind the baby?

sherazade Tue 09-Apr-13 14:52:53

your title has really irked me. Sounds like they weren't shaking the baby at all. Am sure you had the best intentions but most sane loving parents know where to draw the line between jigging and shaking.

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:52:56

Yes, sorry did not think this was how you could wind a baby. All I was thinking is how they say that shaking can cause brain damage, etc but this was not like shaking it abusively more like you say none stop jiggling on knee, obviously now with what you said to wind the baby...

Sheshelob Tue 09-Apr-13 14:54:21

We used to give our boy some pretty firm pats over our shoulders to get his wind moving as a newborn. My MIL used to blanch a bit, but it really helped to settle him.

Sounds like they just handle their baby in a way you wouldn't. But it doesn't mean they were doing the baby any actual harm.

Booyhoo Tue 09-Apr-13 14:55:48

ofgs

Calabria Tue 09-Apr-13 15:01:21

I can see why it might look alarming. I remember my husband's shocked face then it looked like I was strangling newborn DD while trying to get her to burp.

rhondajean Tue 09-Apr-13 15:08:50

Best way ever to get their wind up, plus they look like grumpy little old men with their head resting in your hand <gets all broody>

Now look what you have done!!!

ChunkyPickle Tue 09-Apr-13 15:11:51

I'm pretty sure that the bad shaking is where you fling them back and forth so their head flops backwards and forwards.

It sounds like what that dad was doing is supporting the head, supporting the body, and jiggling the baby - it might bring up wind (or more than wind), squidge poo around, or send the baby squiffy, but I can't imagine it'd do the damage that actually shaking a baby doees

KatyTheCleaningLady Tue 09-Apr-13 15:12:54

A fast jiggle calms some babies.

The dangerous shaking is much more violent.

Chocoflump Tue 09-Apr-13 15:15:02

I struggled to get wind up with my DD. the midwife came in when she was 6 days old and was watching my attempts and said 'give her here' and proceeded to jiggle on her knee and out came a string of huge burps and I had a much happier baby!!

Babies aren't half as fragile as they seem!

sherazade Tue 09-Apr-13 16:18:32

by the way you are only guessing the baby was 3 weeks old. After 2 kids it's still pretty hard for me to judge whether a baby is 3 weeks or 8 weeks to be honest.

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 16:51:57

Thanks all for your replies. Does help me to give me some insights. So was right by not stepping over and getting involved in a situation where obviously i would have made a complete fool of myself. blush

crashdoll Tue 09-Apr-13 16:56:59

Best way ever to get their wind up, plus they look like grumpy little old men with their head resting in your hand <gets all broody>

Yeah, the whole over your shoulder thing is overrated. The baby burps and you get to LOL at their grumpy old men faces. Win win!

TarkaTheOtter Tue 09-Apr-13 17:10:48

Don't worry, I'd have thought the same before I had my dd.

kinkyfuckery Tue 09-Apr-13 17:14:25

Definitely the best way to wind some babies. I find my nephew responds much better to a bit of bouncing on my knee than he did to having his back rubbed/tapped.

twinklesparkles Tue 09-Apr-13 18:09:19

It sounds like he was winding the baby, that's how I wind mine and how my family winds all of theirs, I've also seen midwifes and other medical staff do it that way

Hand under babies chin supports head and also chest keeping baby upright, allowing you clear access to their back to burp them. I'm also sure sitting upright helps with the wind.

How do you know the baby was 3 weeks old? hmm

Yabu

LifeSavedbyLego Tue 09-Apr-13 18:13:53

Yabu. That's not shaking. That's jiggling. Christ with ds1 we had to jog on the stop with him in a sling to calm him down. Heaven knows what you would have thought of us . The father had the head supported.

wigglesrock Tue 09-Apr-13 18:47:53

Yup, it's also how I winded mine - I was also a fan of swirling them while they were on my knee - imagine hula hooping and you're half way there smile

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound Tue 09-Apr-13 21:46:36

Wiggles that's how I winded mine,the kind of hula hoop motion. The only way they would burp.

Both my babies, in particular colicky DD1, required vigorous jiggling for months on end.

Well, no. DD1 required it for four months non stop, DD2 only required it until we worked out how to get her to go to bed at 7pm at 8 weeks and then she was fine.

But either way, it was VIGOROUS, constant jigglejigglejigglejigglejigglejigglejigglejigglejiggle

Fakebook Tue 09-Apr-13 22:36:50

Shaking is getting the baby by the underarms and jolting him/her back and forth quickly which would no doubt make a baby cry. What they were doing sounds like burping the baby or calming him. I often did that with DS after a feed as he suffered from reflux and it was a good way to help him digest his feed without it coming back up.

at least they weren't doing this to their baby

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