aibu or is my neighbour?

(157 Posts)
MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:13:25

Its quarter past 8pm and I'm outside sawing wood on the grass and chucking it onto the patio, also using an axe to chop some logs etc etc etc. She just came to the fence all 'what on earth is all the noise!?' I said I'm just doing this <points to wood> and got back on with it. She was still standing there looking.... bewildered and shocked and told me it was too loud and she 'wants to sleep' but ffs I don't see how I can be quiter. Anyway I told her 'well I don't see how I can be quiter sorry' and got back on with it, she was pissed off

YouTheCat Mon 08-Apr-13 20:14:33

YWBU - you should have done it earlier/at the weekend.

Methe Mon 08-Apr-13 20:15:21

She is being unreasonable.

Not sure she would be being unreasonable if it were her toddlers you were keeping up mind you.

minibmw2010 Mon 08-Apr-13 20:15:33

You are. Anything like that after 8 is unreasonable.

libertyflip Mon 08-Apr-13 20:16:25

I think it was a bit late tbh.

bumperella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:17:19

8.15pm too late for being noisy outside. You can be quiter by NOT chopping logs, for example.
Incidentally, don't throw logs onto paving slabs as they're amazingly easy to chip in cold weather.
Although is a bit chilly to ahve windows open, so am surprised the noise is bothering her that much.

HairyGrotter Mon 08-Apr-13 20:17:52

Did you stop your lumberJill ways to post on MN?

LIZS Mon 08-Apr-13 20:18:25

Is it still light ? Sorry but think past 6 is too late

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:18:32

She's in her early fifties, no kids in the house. My whole house is heated by wood, if I did it all at the weekend id probably collapse, we were out today and I've been busy so need to do it now, no other option. Hmm does anyone know the rules for noise, I mean there's a certain time where you can't be loud am I right?

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Mon 08-Apr-13 20:18:54

8pm at a weekend is not late. How long were you noisy for? If it was getting to be after 9:30pm.i might be a bit miffed at diy type noise but people ay music, have garden parties etc till later.

I think noise laws/guidlines are to keep it down from 11pm-6am?

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:19:11

Yep hairy, that's right, I'm actually sitting outside with my phone in 1 hand right now

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Mon 08-Apr-13 20:20:02

8pm at a weekend is not late. How long were you noisy for? If it was getting to be after 9:30pm.i might be a bit miffed at diy type noise but people ay music, have garden parties etc till later.

I think noise laws/guidlines are to keep it down from 11pm-6am?

bumperella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:21:41

I'd suggest sawing (but not throwing wood onto patio) is fine, as it's not that loud. Using an axe/log granade is not OK.
Does it matter what "the rules" are? It's bothering your neighbour. Stop doing it. Or at least have had the courtest to explain to her why you ahve no choice but to do it now.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:26:47

Bumperella hmm I'm not sure I agree that I should just stop something because its bothering someone, surely it works both ways and while I shouldn't try and stop her sleeping she shouldn't try and stop me doing what I'm doing. I'm not sure though..?

bumperella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:31:19

Just becuase it's neighbourly and considerate. If it was the other way round, and something she did bothered you (even if she had "the right" to do it) would you prefer she was a bit kinder toward you?
If she was complaining about using a handsaw outside at a time of yuear when most people have windows shut then that would be excessive. But if is noise of axe and throwing wood then fair enough. Is it really a bother to you to do the noisy things earier on and therefore the sawing later?

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:31:43

Yeah 11pm does ring a bell 5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs and ill be done pretty soonish, its half 8

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:32:59

Well bumperella I was busy today so didn't have time to do it earlier

GreenEggsAndNichts Mon 08-Apr-13 20:35:05

I'd stop the dropping onto the patio if it could be avoided, I imagine that's quite loud.

If you aren't bothered about bothering people (seems you aren't as of your last post) then by all means, carry on. No reason to ask us about it. smile

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:42:04

Its not that I'm not bothered about bothering people, if I was doing something that I didn't need to do then I could consider stopping if it bothered someone, within reason of course

MiaowTheCat Mon 08-Apr-13 20:45:17

So why exactly are you asking if you're being unreasonable as you've already decided on the grounds of "it needed to be done at my convenience at that point in time" that you're not?

gabsid Mon 08-Apr-13 20:45:53

She told you that she was trying to sleep, she told you that it was too loud - well, just say sorry and do it tomorrow or at tha weekend.

Maybe chat to her, has she been working a lot and is therefore tired ....??? That's called having a good relationship with your neighbours.

I don't think its about the time of day, its about the fact that you are disturbing your neighbour. It may well be very loud in her bedroom.

I would only get annoyed if she complained regularly about fairly normal stuff.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:54:19

Miaow, 'convenience' really??! Gabsid, as I said it NEEDED to be done right then, the house is heated by wood. She was rude to me, acting like I was making the loudest ever noises. And the reason I asked aibu is because I thought she was bu, but wanted to know others opinions and views on it so maybe I could see it in a different way, you know. But of course if I disagree with a certain thing such as self sacrifice then I will address that..

SlipperFrog Mon 08-Apr-13 20:56:08

I would say it's a bit late tbh, couldn't you do it out the front instead if it's that loud for her out the back?

babybarrister Mon 08-Apr-13 20:57:02

Yabu - it is too late - you should be watching Eastendersgrin

SirBoobAlot Mon 08-Apr-13 20:58:47

Well my neighbors were drilling just now, and that was irritating. So I imagine that sawing is a lot worse.

Hear that you needed to do it, but surely you would have noticed that your wood was low before you went out today?

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 20:59:06

Don't you worry- I've recorded it

SarahAndFuck Mon 08-Apr-13 21:02:33

Does she work shifts or something? Or is she ill? Could that explain why she was trying to sleep.

I would say that up to about 9pm is probably alright for that sort of noise.

But then, I'm a night owl. If you were doing the same thing at 7am I'd probably be grumbling along with your neighbour.

Could you perhaps have compromised, told her that you were just cutting enough to see you through to the morning and would try to keep it down and finish quickly?

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 21:02:36

Sirboobalot, its something that I have to do every day and it can take a while, so this morning even if I had noticed it, I wouldn't have had time to do it (go and get wood bring it back cut it- <dreaming of central heating envy >

landofsoapandglory Mon 08-Apr-13 21:04:17

I had a neighbour who used to use power tools up until around 9.30-10.00pm quite often in the Summer. She needed to do it then because she was at work all day and was making things to sell in her shop. Our need for peace and quiet, or sleep was never taken into consideration either, not even when I had a banging migraine!

YWBU.

Gorjuss Mon 08-Apr-13 21:05:25

If it didn't take you too long then no yanbu I think she is for coming out to complain 8 isn't very late at all. I would be careful or she might moan about everything.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 21:07:19

Oh I can see the frustration but when it comes to cold kids or sleeping at 8 I reckon id just wait a little while if I was in the neighbours position, although I've been sleeping at stupid times before and been pissed off at next doors d.i.y (hammering on walls) but knew id be unreasonable to say anything so never did

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 21:08:54

Gorjuss trust me I've had some petty complaints from her before, having nettles in my garden for example hmm not overgrown or anything

BullieMama Mon 08-Apr-13 21:10:52

OP, I run on wood and sometimes you do need to chop there and then to keep the fires going.

What is the OP supposed to do have no hot water and a cold house?

I'd say up until 9pm would be reasonable, but it does depend how loud the total amount of noise you're making is.

The chopping/sawing fair enough, but do you need to throw the wood onto the patio?

I live in a block of flats where noise transferrence is awful. So, it's an agreed rule that emergencies excepted, people try their best to be quiet between 8.30pm and 7.30am. The block includes elderly and toddlers.

DeepRedBetty Mon 08-Apr-13 21:15:41

I've been entirely wood-fired in the past. It's a total tyranny, feeding the Beast... having said, the noise of wood thumping onto stone is pretty loud. And likely to damage the stone too.

I run a policy of 'do not disturb after 9 p.m.' I don't ring anyone, apart from maybe my mum, and will be pretty pissed off if anyone rings me.

If I know someone has unusual hours I will consider that too. I have a neighbour who is an ambulance driver, if he's on nights I'll think before being noisy out the back.

The only set rule I know about noise is sounding a motor horn between 11.30 pm and 7 am. Unfortunately the people driving to and from the pub up the road don't seem to know it angry.

kinkyfuckery Mon 08-Apr-13 21:16:26

YABU in the way that you spoke to her.

You should have apologised for disturbing her, and said you'd finish as quickly and as quietly as possible - not waste time posting on fucking MN in between throwing bits of wood around!

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 21:19:33

Oh come on kinkyfuckery how long do you think it took me to write the op..? Anyway, I do take little rests, its bloody hard work after a while

'Throwing bits of wood around' oh god

EverybodysSootyEyed Mon 08-Apr-13 21:21:56

why did you chuck them on the patio - that must have been really noisy. couldn't you have dropped them on the grass?

Gorjuss Mon 08-Apr-13 21:23:16

8 pm is certainly not late. She is looking for problems x

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 21:23:20

The chopping wood was louder than throwing the logs

newfavouritething Mon 08-Apr-13 21:33:27

YABU, you were very rude in your reply and you have no need to canvas opinion on here as you clearly believe that your neighbour was wrong. You don't have to chop wood at night and maybe when you read this thread back tomorrow morning you'll realise how snippy you sound. Go sit in front of the fire and chill!

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 21:43:02

Newfavouritething, I don't think I sound snippy. And yes, I DID need to chop the wood, my house is heated by wood including the water. If you read back you'll see my reasons for the aibu

ReturnOfEmeraldGreen Mon 08-Apr-13 21:48:45

The time and activity are not necessarily unreasonable, but better to say "Oh, I'm sorry, I will finish as soon as I can and then won't have to bother you with any noise tomorrow" or "Sorry, I have got to get this done because I have no other fuel, but I will try to keep it a bit quieter". Even if you mean neither of these things, it would be polite and conciliatory. I wouldn't be happy with your response either.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 21:50:08

I see, hmm I must be tactless because I am finding it hard to see how it was rude to be completely honest blush

kinkyfuckery Mon 08-Apr-13 21:53:22

Am I being unreasonable?
Yes.
No I'm not.
Yes I am.
No I'm not.

<<yawn>>

maddening Mon 08-Apr-13 21:58:27

Don't throw the wood - place it down - at least limit the noise you are making - also do you have a shed you can do it in? Just as it is probably echoey on the patio by the walls of the house depending on the layout it could be louder to them than to you.

You could probably modify the way/where you do it and not annoy your neighbour and avoid bad feeling.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 21:58:46

Kinkyfuckery, I haven't said no I'm not to someone saying I'm being unreasonable, all I have done is respond to things such as 'you should have stopped' etc. Ffs...

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:00:49

Unable to do it in shed, maddery but ah right I didn't consider that it would be louder to her than me although, the throwing logs over was quieter than the chopping logs unless it sounded louder to her. Hmmmm

Notmadeofrib Mon 08-Apr-13 22:06:07

If this is your 8.15 ritual YABU. Once in a blue moon? She needs to be a little more tolerant.

LessMissAbs Mon 08-Apr-13 22:15:23

8.15pm is not too late to do outdoorsy type tasks that don't involve loud noises like motors.

My neighbour once complained about me hovering at 9pm. I let rip...

MikeOxardAndWellard Mon 08-Apr-13 22:15:43

YWBU and you do sound snippy. Buy chopped logs.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:20:11

Hundreds of pounds for logs or get them for free from woods, let me think about that 1 MikeOxardAndWellard wink also I really don't think I sound snippy... confused

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:21:25

Also I enjoy sawing wood, getting wood, chopping it and all that

maddening Mon 08-Apr-13 22:22:45

Yes the chopping might be louder but is unavoidable - but she is sat therw trying to enjoy her home and she has "chop thud chop thud chop thud"
By removing the thud you are halving the noise.

Little considerations can go a long way so you may as well do your best to minimise it and if there is any chance of doing it slightly earlier than when people are reasonably sitting down trying to relax you might avoid it - you obviously have a regular need for it so just a tad more organisation would go a long way.

hiddenhome Mon 08-Apr-13 22:23:05

I think what you need is a chainsaw wink

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:26:41

Oh she would LOVE that... wink

Maddening unfortunately no amount of organisation can prevent it sometimes. The thing is though what if she wanted to sleep at like 5pm or something, then shed be being completely unreasonable of course, maybe 8 is later than I think it is...

bumperella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:29:13

You need to sort the wood every day? So every day you're chopping etc past 8pm? Or is it that today is a one off (busy day etc)?

I jsut don't see why you can't do the noisy stuff first and saw (which is quieter) later on. and don't chuck the wood onto the patio stones - it's just making noise for the sake of it. Doesn't matter if the neighbour is bieng a bit highly strung - if the noise bothers her (even if it wouldnn't bother you) then try and limit it. it's just a kinder thing to do.

On a practical note, dry wood is more efficient and smaller bits dry quicker than bigger bits - so idealy you saw and split then store it for a bit before you use it (we store about 2 mnths worth at a time), but we're pretty frugal with the heating.

KLou111 Mon 08-Apr-13 22:31:59

I think that's pretty late tbh. People are relaxing after being at work or being out all day, or after putting the kid(s) to bed.
Up to 7 is late enough.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:34:16

Yep every day apart from when it is warm, and no its usually earlier but was out all day today. Well the thing is that I need to go looking for wood first you know, I don't just have it all in my garden to chop in the day and saw later as you suggest. Jesus.. 2 months at a time that would be a massive huge pile for us... we go through a fair bit each day and I thought I was frugal with it!

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:35:25

KLou whether its late or not, I didn't have a choice, I was out all day ^

EverybodysSootyEyed Mon 08-Apr-13 22:37:08

do you have a big garden? could you do it further from the house?

if it is not regular then she was being a bit unreasonable but agree with emerald that your reply was snippy

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:44:11

Nope couldn't do it much further away really, ah ok wow I just can't see anything snippy about it blush blush

KLou111 Mon 08-Apr-13 22:47:30

We had a stove that did all our hot water and heating for 3 years up until last July when we moved. If we didn't have time in the day to chop it (2 hours max as to not to annoy the neighbours), we paid £50 for a truck load, which was about 4 weeks worth). I think it is very unfair that your neighbours have to put up with the noise on a regular basis of an evening just so you can save some money.

We've lived in a house that ran on wood, and I think YABU - and disorganised.

I don't understand why you need to chop wood every day, to the point where you have to do it at 8.15pm. You know your house will always need wood, so why haven't you got a contingency stockpile so you don't need to do it every day or in the evenings, particularly if you are going to be busy?

When heading for winter we would chop extra and stack it, as did our neighbours (cold country, wood normal). Some stored it in wood sheds, others, like us, stacked it and tarped the top to keep the rain/snow off. Then through the winter every few days we would chop more and keep the stockpile above a minimum level of what we would burn in three to four days.

We NEVER had a situation where we had to chop wood then and there or freeze - that's just bad management. What would you have done if a freak thunderstorm hit? Continued waving your metal axe about whilst hoping lightening wouldn't hit?!

As for the noise, chopping and sawing isn't that bad - but throwing it on the patio? Having lived with a DH who did this I can tell you it is really fucking annoying, and really fucking LOUD in the house,far louder than outside as the noise reverberates through the stone,then the walls/foundations. It was enough to make me want to beat DH with his own axe when he did it (luckily he learnt quickly).

Get organised so you have at least a days stockpiled wood so you don't need to chop after 8pm, and if you must don't throw it on the patio.

It's three years since we left that house and the memory of hearing wood hit stone is making me cringe even now. If I was your neighbour the chopping and sawing wouldn't bother me, but if you were throwing it onto the patio I'd be raging.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:49:55

KLou I can't afford that.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:53:19

Coola, right I need to go to different woods, looking for wood and carry it all home by foot, sometimes making LOADS of trips because I can only carry a certain amount and weight, its bloody hard work a lot of the time, and then I need to saw it by hand, chop some etc. Do the kindlin and all that, I'm not moaning but its fucking hard work sometimes especially in the winter

KLou111 Mon 08-Apr-13 22:54:42

I mean for a back up when you have no wood of an evening rwther than piss off your neighbours, not actually buy it every 4 weeks.

bumperella Mon 08-Apr-13 22:56:27

Your reply sounded like you were basically saying to your neighbour, "tough, I want to do this so I will". Which isn't helpful or generous, hence people saying that it sounds snippy.
Making some effort to deaden the noise but doing it at 8pm occasionally (esp as when weather is cold so windows shut) doens't sound that dreadful.
Seriously, you'd need a hell of a lot less wood (in terms of bulk) if you could dry it properly before using it (seasoned hardwood is way way more efficient than anythign else). 2 months isn't a huge pile really. If you use newer wood then hte wet has to boil off first. I assume that the woodland is yours, or you have appropriate permissions? Otherwise would be very VERY careful not to fall out with the neighbours!

500internalerror Mon 08-Apr-13 22:57:56

Are you allowed to just help yourself from the woods? Aren't there rules, similar to not being able to cart off half a beachworth of shells?

You could always gather and chop your stockpile in the summer months and stack it against the walls of your house/butted up to your boundary fence and covered. Added bonus is by winter its really dry, and ready to use.

Where we lived in Germany people prepped wood for winter all year round and by the time it got cold there was plenty of wood stored. Maybe this is because there were lots of times when the weather would be too bad to do it on an ad hoc basis, and there it was so cold that running out of wood meant actually freezing, rather than just being very cold (minus 40).

I guess I'm just surprised that you don't even have an emergency stash, let alone a stockpile, when you are completely reliant on wood for heat and warmth.

ParadiseChick Mon 08-Apr-13 22:59:27

You need to get more organised.

Yanbu though.

But you shouldn't be burning wood you've just cut down that day. It needs to dry out. Season. You need to build up a pile. Fair enough chopping a couple of days at a time but store the wood in logs

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:00:48

Nope its not mine, don't have permission but I never see anyone in there, hmm true but the worst id get is a 'get off my land' in fact a couple of times the owner of some woods have seen me and said its fine, of course different people would have different reactions. I had dd in a back sling at the time, they were impressed!

Iggi101 Mon 08-Apr-13 23:01:13

Not much thought here for anyone but yourself OP - you had to do it late because out all day, you don't want to buy logs, you actually enjoy doing it so not exactly just a necessity is it. Sounds like the sort of excuses you'd get from a teenager for not doing homework!
And loads of posters say your reply sounded a bit snippy, you just keep insisting you weren't. So why ask us?

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:01:29

Paradise I don't chop it from trees by the way

Liara Mon 08-Apr-13 23:01:41

I'm loving the suggestion that you chop it first and then saw it....go on, split the whole tree with the axe (all of them, one after another) and then saw them later because that's quieter grin.

FWIW i think YANBU. 8 pm is fine, although I can see that it would be annoying if you are having dinner or something.

ParadiseChick Mon 08-Apr-13 23:01:51

It doesn't need to be such hard work!!

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:03:39

Iggi, its possible to enjoy something that you need to do. Its not just for me, its so my children can be warm and have hot water. It would be pretty shit to be cold and not able to wash your face/have a bath without boiling kettles...

ParadiseChick Mon 08-Apr-13 23:05:18

So your finding enough wood within walking distance that's just 'there' are you?

Storm fall? If so should still be seasoned,
Your lum will be manky!

Liara Mon 08-Apr-13 23:06:02

you actually enjoy doing it so not exactly just a necessity is it.

So the fact that she enjoys doing it means it isn't necessary? How does that figure.

She needs it to heat her house and have hot water. How is that not necessary?

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:10:54

Paradise, I need to do a fair bit of searching but yep!

steppemum Mon 08-Apr-13 23:12:16

I am amazed that people think 8pm is too late to chop logs outside.

There was recently on mn a thread from someone whose neighbour asked her to turn down quiet music at 8 pm and EVERYONE said that was unreasonable as you shouldn't have to be quiet until after 10 pm.

Why is it different outside? It is only some logs, it can't be that loud. I would be sympathetic if she said 'sorry but child has just gone to bed and noise is keeping him/her awake, any chance of doing that at another time?' Then it would be unreasonable to continue.

Iggi101 Mon 08-Apr-13 23:16:11

not exactly just a necessity - my words were somewhat clumsy, but how you translate them liara to me saying it was not a necessity - clearly not what I said.
If op enjoys it she is less likely to take on board the sensible suggestions from other wood burners about chopping in advance etc. I don't see how it is to the benefit of her dcs tbh to have their mum out chopping wood after 8 o'clock when they need the heat/water, rather than doing more on another day. I don't know what the neighbour is normally like but I do feel sorry for her standing there "bewildered" and "shocked" and getting short shrift from op - not even saying "only another five minutes" or whatever.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:20:36

Iggi if you read what I've said in this thread I think you'll understand a bit more

ChippingInIsEggceptional Mon 08-Apr-13 23:20:49

8pm?! Of course it's not too late - anyone whinging about you cutting logs at 8pm deserves a snippy an honest reply. Daft mare.

KLou111 Mon 08-Apr-13 23:26:29

Steppemum, have you ever chopped or heard logs being chopped? It is loud.......we bought an electric wood splitter so we didn't annoy the neighbours as much (and took the hard work away for poor dh). But we never did it in the evening.
Agree with previous poster, build up your stockpile in the summer months. We had enough for 2 years at one point as my dh chopped some trees down in our garden one summer (former tree surgeon) and we still looked for wood, piled it, then chopped it when we had a chance.

Can you not chop the wood where you find it and bring it back in a wheelbarrow?

SarahAndFuck Mon 08-Apr-13 23:27:14

OP I still don't think you are being unreasonable.

But is there any way you could perhaps stockpile a little bit for days like today when you can't chop it earlier.

Then if you need to use a bit of the reserve, you can spend a couple of days building it back up again for another day like today?

SarahAndFuck Mon 08-Apr-13 23:28:24

And there's a man near me who gathers wood in an old pram.

Would something like that help you carry a bit more in one go?

Iggi101 Mon 08-Apr-13 23:30:05

MsBella I have read the full thread, so not sure what you mean? Some people just won't agree with you, you've had a lot of support on the thread but you can't win us all over!

steppemum Mon 08-Apr-13 23:32:21

KLou - yes it is loud, but it is only logs. It is cold, so she is presumably in doors with windows shut, and anyway it is ONLY 8PM!!

If I was neighbour, and wanted to sleep at 8pm, I would realise that I am unusual, and so come from the POV that the OP would be doing me a favour by stopping.

No reaosn why OP can't do the neighbour a favour, in this instance, but a blanket ban on log chopping after 8pm is ridiculous.

In the summer, neighbours have BBQs and sit outside talking til 10/11. Everyone has windows open, and on a weekday, most would call it a day and quieten down at around 10.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:32:52

Iggi I'm just saying how time consuming it is and all that, keeping in mind that I have young DCs its not always practical and my 'read the thread' was because some of what you said contradicted what I said but alright

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:34:53

She does quite a few bbqs and gatherings in the summer with music during the night, its not really loud or anything but I just can't imagine going over there to complain because I'm trying to sleep

Iggi101 Mon 08-Apr-13 23:41:32

Well it should work both ways, if she wants you to be quiet she should extend the same courtesy to you. At least now you know she doesn't like it, if you have the choice of chopping more/chopping earlier you can take it if you don't want her popping up at the fence to complain!

DontSHOUTTTTTT Mon 08-Apr-13 23:43:08

Sorry but I think YABU (but if it was a one off its OK)

I also think YABU not to be bothered about bothering people. It's not very neighbourly or nice.

If it was a one off you coud have easily told her that and then everyone would be happy.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:45:44

Dontshout, its not about not being bothered about bothering people but ffs someone could be bothered by their neighbours speaking during the day you know, and no way would I sacrifice our needs because someones annoyed about a bit of noise at only 8pm if you see what I mean?

quoteunquote Mon 08-Apr-13 23:51:54

for the sake of good neighbourhood relations, I suggest you get a log splitter

and that way you can get it all out the way (stack for the season or a month) in one short session when the neighbour is out,

our local hire company do brilliant ones for very little, you can do several trailer loads incredibly quickly.

anyway in this house children keep the wood pile in order, find some and train them.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:54:28

Thanks quote but I do usually do it in the day time so don't need 1, today I did it later because I was out all day

DontSHOUTTTTTT Mon 08-Apr-13 23:55:06

.....but if its something you could easily do abit earlier in the evening why wouldn't you. It would irritate me in the same way it would if neighbours mowed the lawn or did DIY after 8.

I think it's normal and acceptable to have kids playing out in the evening or BBQs but chopping wood is an irritating type of 'noisy'. I know, because I used to do it smile

DontSHOUTTTTTT Mon 08-Apr-13 23:56:16

If it was a one off you don't need to worry about it at all.

MsBella Mon 08-Apr-13 23:58:07

Because I was out

I suppose I'm used to the sound of chopping wood etc

steppemum Tue 09-Apr-13 00:01:53

But plenty of people do mow lawns and do DIY after 8pm!

and as to logs being a worse noise than say children playing, TBH I suspect that each person has a different idea as to which noise they would rather have.

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 00:14:35

Very true

There are definitely people that literally hate the sound of children playing for example. I've heard people saying birds tweeting is annoying!

MidniteScribbler Tue 09-Apr-13 03:08:49

My idiot neighbour got her kid a dirt bike. He would ride it around and around their yard for hours on end. I quietly seethed until he decided to get on it at 8pm at night one night. I was over there hammering on the door within about a minute. It was the straw that broke the camels back for me.

Your poor neighbour already has to put up with you chopping every day, and then it suddenly happens at 8pm at night. I'm not surprised she's freaked out. She's probably been stewing about it for months. Some noise is unavoidable, but you should organise yourself to try and avoid disturbing the neighbours as much as possible.

8pm isn't too late to do outdoor stuff. The neighbor was being unreasonable.
We do most of our wood cutting in the summer time, Dh does the cutting and I stack it, so in winter we don't have to do much. Going and collecting it for use is bad enough in the rain. LOL.
But we buy a huge amount already seasoned and delivered by a man who clears orchards, so it's ready to use.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 09-Apr-13 06:08:37

Well there aren't real rights and wrongs here, there are just feelings.

If I were your neighbour I might be a bit happier if you were a bit apologetic and explained why you needed to chop the wood right there and then, given that she told you it was a bit noisy.

chrome100 Tue 09-Apr-13 06:10:02

She is being unreasonable. 8pm? That's practically the afternoon. If you are going to sleep that early you have to expect there to be noise. Our council says you should try to be quiet after 11pm and won't consider any noise complaints before that time.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 09-Apr-13 06:16:14

your neighbour doesn't know you feel you have no choice but to chop wood at this time, you don't know whether the neighbour is ill etc. you could solve all this by listening and talking but instead you want it to be about Council noise control and who is right or not.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 09-Apr-13 06:31:58

I think she IBU,it is just for a short finite time.

nooka Tue 09-Apr-13 06:36:31

I like the sound of log chopping. I really don't think it is particularly loud (if it's splitting then it's usually a few loud thumps per log). If it's not a familiar sort of sound then I guess you might wonder what it was - the fact that the neighbour wasn't sure suggests that the OP hasn't put her out before, so it's unlikely to be a chronic 'straw that broke the camel's back' type problem (of course the OP might be generally noisy I guess).

Where I live many families supplement their heating with wood burners/fires and we tend to all get in a big stack in autumn and chop and stack a whole load at once, so it's just an autumn sort of sound to me. We only take dead trees, so fairly well seasoned already.

My neighbours have a log splitter and that is bloody noisy, but they tend only to use it for a few days in autumn (they are also very expensive).

Eight pm is surprisingly late to chop if it's dark, but also very early to go to bed. I'd not want to stop either, but it would probably have been good to explain that you need the wood to keep warm and that you were planning to stop soon.

Tabliope Tue 09-Apr-13 06:45:12

Sorry but YWBU. Any repetitive noise is annoying, especially at a weird time like 8pm when she was probably trying to watch TV and relax. If you needed a bit of wood then you should have just cut up that amount to keep you going through the evening which wouldn't be that much, would have taken a couple of minutes. No need to have done a massive log cutting job at 8pm. It might suit your hours but didn't suit your neighbours. You shouldn't let your log pile get so low that you have to do it at that time of night. Houses around you might have babies going to bed at that time. What about them? Unreasonable and irritating. All the more so as you don't seem to get it.

whiteflame Tue 09-Apr-13 07:01:36

I think you're spot on Midnite.

If you would like to have a good relationship with this neighbour, and assuming she is reasonable, I would go and see her today. Tell her you're sorry the noise was disturbing her and explain that it is a necessary noise. Then ask her what you can do to reduce the inconvenience. For e.g. is there a time of day that would work for you both? Shifting to the other side of the garden/patio? Not throwing the logs onto the patio?

It doesn't mean she gets to dictate what you do, obviously. Just that everyone would benefit from a reasonable discussion and understanding the others point of view. And she will feel listened to.

Neighbour disagreements can get ugly, fast.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 09-Apr-13 07:59:04

agree whiteflame

3MenAndMe Tue 09-Apr-13 08:13:57

YABU and as many pointed out it is late.
Well,it depends if it is terraced house or are you quite far away from your neighbour...?
Whatever it is and if somebody is complaining it is probably sign to be a bit more considerate.
You are asking about opinion yet you argue your position(previously complaining of lack of time to chop the wood....
Make your mind and stop being difficult...

shellbu Tue 09-Apr-13 09:11:15

yanbu , people need to do things sometimes ,some neighbours like to moan about everything, dog barking,kids playing,music on,drilling,mowing,bonfires, life going on smile

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 13:40:42

Tabliope, a couple of minutes- more like a couple of hours!
Well 3men its a semi detached so I'm only attached to her house but there are other houses very close who I hear doing things and don't mind. She has complained about things many times before and I never said sorry because she was always being very fucking unreasonable

aderynlas Tue 09-Apr-13 14:44:59

The chopping of the wood wouldnt be as bad as the logs hitting the patio, couldnt you stack them without doing that. Easier to try and get on with neighbours dont you think.

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 16:05:02

I was trying to be quick that's why I chucked them onto the patio for dd to take inside

And yeah I do try but surely it goes both ways

Hmmm

KLou111 Tue 09-Apr-13 18:32:16

A couple of hours for one nights wood?? A couple of hours used to do us a weeks wood. I think you need to change your technique if this does all your heating, you'll kill yourself!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 09-Apr-13 18:37:48

MsBella

what else has she complained about?

You only very briefly mentioned it up til now

anothershittynickname Tue 09-Apr-13 18:53:06

YANBU at 815pm and this is coming from someone with arseholes for neighbours!! She was vacuuming at 1030 last night FFS and if it's not that it's the dog barking or the insufferable kid wailing - Infact, I'm close to starting a diary for environmental health.

Anyhow, I digress, I also don't think your were being snippy, well, I DO think you were being snippy but I think if she's the sort to complain over nettles in your garden then YANBU to be snippy!!

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 18:56:03

KLou I was referring to the process of sorting the wood out

What else has she complained about?
A lot of things really including having nettles in my garden, the 'state' of my garden (its fine, not overgrown or anything but not the same as hers I.e. she has ornaments, little water feature etc.) she's complained about music in the daytime NOT loud at all and a few other things

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 18:57:13

KLow keep in mind that I have to go back and forwards to the woods by foot to get wood bit by bit

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 09-Apr-13 19:03:33

And how have you responded to that before?

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 19:07:03

Responded with sorry but I like my garden like this, ill make sure to keep the lawn mown etc. I wasn't rude, her husband was bloody rude (reaching over fence weeding my garden)
And about the music I said things like ill turn it down/off in the evening, its really not loud sorry if its bothering you etc.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 09-Apr-13 19:16:16

She sounds OTT. I'm not surprised you are pissed off.

MsBella Tue 09-Apr-13 23:53:49

T

MidniteScribbler Wed 10-Apr-13 01:53:15

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MsBella Wed 10-Apr-13 02:07:29

Jesus christ what..? How judgemental and you do not know me! If you had read this thread you'd probably understand. And no I do not only care about myself, I care greatly about others but how would you know that...
What do you want? My kids to be cold with no hot water, midnitescribbler?

MsBella Wed 10-Apr-13 02:14:15

Instead of 'suspecting' how about you read what actually happened so you actually know... it isn't hard.

MidniteScribbler Wed 10-Apr-13 03:05:50

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MsBella Wed 10-Apr-13 03:09:48

Midnitescrubber we were out all day ffs! I had no choice... obviously.

MidniteScribbler Wed 10-Apr-13 03:12:33

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MsBella Wed 10-Apr-13 03:15:01

It takes hours and its fucking hard work, I have DCs to look after also and other things to do, walking miles carrying a load of wood and a toddler in a back sling back and forward to get more wood then sawing and chopping it which is bloody hard aswell especially thick logs
My fire burns pretty hot so I have to keep feeding it, by the end of the evening I've always got less than is ideal

Sunnywithshowers Wed 10-Apr-13 03:48:26

Midnite I've reported your last 3 posts as personal attacks.

MrRected Wed 10-Apr-13 03:54:34

MsBella - like your wood, it costs nothing to be polite.

You weren't particularly polite to your neighbour. IMO I think you could have been much more conciliatory. Yes, there is no real need to be conciliatory but why would you want to off-side your neighbour, just for the sake of it?

In these sorts of situations I always try to put myself in the other person's shoes before making a decision.

So if I were thinking of it from your neighbour's perspective, it would go something along the lines of:

1. Perhaps she's had a terrible day at work
2. Perhaps she's tolerated the day time chopping for such a long time that the onset of night time chopping pushed her over the edge.
3. Perhaps she's ill or depressed.
4. Perhaps she just wants a bit of peace and quiet.
5. Perhaps she has to get up at 3am tomorrow morning and needed an early night.

Being considerate of other peoples feelings does not automatically mean you are a walk-over - I get the sense that you are standing your ground for fear that you might be perceived as such.

MsBella Wed 10-Apr-13 03:57:25

You know the last part is pretty true in some ways
Although I thought my reply to her was polite..oops!

MsBella Wed 10-Apr-13 03:58:21

Although she is a petty moaner e.g. I have nettles in my garden

MrRected Wed 10-Apr-13 04:02:53

Fair enough MsBella.

Perhaps you were polite, it just came across that you heard what she was saying but weren't really that interested. A challenge of these types of forums is getting the tone across - I get it wrong all the time and often get a roasting grin.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 10-Apr-13 06:48:41

Msbella, you had a really rough time on MN yesterday here and elsewhere.

I suspect you were the victim of some people taking out their own narkiness on you.

AIBU is way over harsh sometimes.

Hope today is better.

shellbu Wed 10-Apr-13 09:01:35

sounds like midnite is your neighbour lol .

Shutupanddrive Wed 10-Apr-13 09:17:12

YANBU, 8pm is not late. It wouldn't bother me at all at that time

whokilleddannylatimer Wed 10-Apr-13 09:36:37

I think honestly it depends, the rules for noise are 11pm to 7pm although environmental health take into account excessively loud regular noise too.

I wouldn't let my dc play very noisily outside at half 8 I case she disturbed younger children.

My mum goes to bed at 8 due to early shifts and this would drive her nuts.

I think if you usually do not do it at night fair enough as a one off but I can't think of anything worse than having an hour of very loud banging and thudding just as I got dc settled or settled down to relax if it was every night.

aderynlas Wed 10-Apr-13 09:44:18

The nettles in your garden are probably keeping the caterpillars away from your neighbours flowers msbella, they are great for wildlife.

ByTheWay1 Wed 10-Apr-13 10:20:44

I would not chop wood after 6 of 7 out of consideration to my neighbours.... some people work nights you know - maybe she was trying to sleep before her shift or after a hard day....

I really hope your neighbour is not a doctor/nurse/paramedic/firefighter/coastguard/mountain rescue/...... who works nights and upon whom my or someone else's safety may depend.

I hate it when the right to do something impinges on my right not to be disturbed by it....

You have a right to chop wood, she has a right to undisturbed sleep...

Would you be happy for HER to do wood chopping and chucking about at a time which disturbed YOUR sleep - say 4 in the morning just before heading off to an early shift or whatever...

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 10-Apr-13 10:52:17

Yes..you are going to inadvertently kill people OP.

Please beat yourself over head now.

How ridiculous

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 10-Apr-13 10:59:57

I'm glad you gave the extra info OP! Because TBH i was thinking you sounded pretty narky and rigid over something quite sortable. I guess the question is, how do you go from here. I'd still advocate reason over rudeness because you dn't want an escalation.

There may be no pleasing the neighbours, though

MsBella Wed 10-Apr-13 19:20:50

She works part time on some days in the daytime

crashdoll Wed 10-Apr-13 19:38:15

Firstly, very annoying when people start threads asking AIBU and are not even prepared to listen to any opinions that contradict theirs. That said, Midnight was too snarky and OTT.

Secondly, you were both being a bit U - being a neighbour means occasionally you put with annoying noises but equally, sometimes we have to be considerate of others.

HildaOgden Wed 10-Apr-13 20:41:09

I'm astonished at how much of your time is spent sorting out wood for the fire,between collecting it and chopping it.Seriously,there has to be a more efficent of doing it.Life is too short to wreck your body with such manual labour....if it was me,I'd take in a lodger --or sell a kidney--and save up for central heating!

I have to save,it would grate on my nerves to hear the sound of chopping wood every day/night,and I'd wonder if you were doing it deliberately to piss me off which I'm beginning to suspect may be part of your motive too

MsBella Wed 10-Apr-13 21:10:28

Its good for me Hilda! And nope since I don't have a car and can't afford to buy it there's not a more efficent way
Of course a bit of physical work won't wreck someones body, quite the opposite I'm sure
And no of course I don't heat my house to piss my neighbour off haha

HildaOgden Wed 10-Apr-13 21:20:39

Of course there is a more efficent way,get an electric saw and get the job done in much less time.

And no,I don't think you're heating your house to piss off your neighbour...but I do think you enjoy pissing her off by not making any effort to reduce the noise of organising that firewood.

Anyway,I think you've spent more time tonight thinking about this than she has,she quite possibly pities you foraging for fallen wood and carting them home,babe in sling,to chop them by hand.She certainly doesn't envy you,that's for sure!

If this was an unusual occurence,I'd say she was unreasonable.As it's a daily occurence (albeit different times),I'd say she was reasonable in her belief that A) it was bloody noisy and B)it was likely to go in for a while.

Anyway,you seem to think you are totally in the right so I won't waste any more time on this.

sleeton Wed 10-Apr-13 21:22:06

Are you allowed to just help yourself from the woods? Aren't there rules AIUI if the woods/forests are privately owned and you take it (even fallen wood) then it is theft. If the woods are government owned (Forestry Commission) then you can apply for a "(Fire)Wood Scavenging Permit/License" which will apply to designated areas only.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 10-Apr-13 21:25:32

YANBU, I used to live in the country and had a wood burner.
I believe the law states before 9pm for builders/ worksites etc. I don't think sawing wood is too much different than a carpenter working on site.

You have had a rough time here, You strike me as quite unconventional. Well I say its better than being boring, good luck to you. grin

DontSHOUTTTTTT Wed 10-Apr-13 21:42:03

Construction companies or workshops would not be allowed to work until late. The standard time is usually 8 am (or 7.30) until 6 pm Monday to Friday. 8 am until 1 pm Saterday and not at all on Sundays or bank holidays.

However, This doesn't apply to the OP's situation as she is not a buisness.

I think if she regularly chopped wood at 8 pm then she could end up having a noise abatement notice served on her by her local council. Depending how loud it was and how close she was to her neighbours etc etc. If she just did it very occasionally then she would probably be OK. It's. all about reasonableness.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 10-Apr-13 21:59:04

DontSHOUT

They are building near to me and knock off at 9pm, there are several shifts during the day and it is council who are building. The area is Town Centre with lots of houses nearby.
Also, noise is noise and applies to everybody, so yes up to pm is fine. I'm pretty sure it was a council representative who told us this as there were lots of meetings and objection to the building, from local residents.

DontSHOUTTTTTT Thu 11-Apr-13 00:18:01

morethanpotatoprints. I know that there are situations where the standards times do not have to be adhered to. It is unusual though and you would need special consultation and permission. (As has obviously happened with the work being carried out near you)

Utility company work and road maintanance is often carried out 'after hours' as is work that has to be carried out urgently for safety reasons.

maddening Thu 11-Apr-13 07:35:25

Morethan - if they are building check their planning permission - land next to us has planning permission with same times that don'tshout states.

I know other works do get out of hourz permission but it's usually for good reason - eg roads have to be shut or emergency work etc.

As for the 11pm thing - that is a red herring as unreasonable noise can be any time.

morethanpotatoprints Thu 11-Apr-13 16:38:25

It is a Youth club and associated buildings, I think they are behind schedule, but also lots of vehicles turning off main road make it difficult for people to travel into town. maybe they have these extended circumstances for H&S for road users and pedestrians, as it is really Town Centre.
It's just that there are lots of houses in our Town Centre. grin

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