I bloody hate myself :-(

(52 Posts)
M0naLisa Mon 08-Apr-13 12:15:40

As you may have see. My previous tread re: Drs.

I smoked throughout my pregnancy and and because of my incompetence and selfishness he has breathing difficulties. He's only 4months old and already suffering. Have been told its hereditary. But there will always be the what if what if what if!!

Please please if you are pregnant and still smoking. STOP!!

I should have known better being an asthma sufferer because of My mum smoking in pregnancy. I just thought is be one of the 'lucky' one.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Mon 08-Apr-13 12:28:54

I'm sorry to hear your ds is poorly. Is he in hospital now?

It's very brave of you to post and I hope others read this as a warning. If it stops even one person doing it then you have done a brave helpful thing. What's wrong with your little boy op

I hope he gets better soon.

You can't help what you have done already but you can help him now. You can quit. Ask the nurses and the drs they will point you in the right direction. It will help him.

brew

needacoffee Mon 08-Apr-13 12:39:23

Not sure how to start this - but stop feeling guilty, it's done now and you can either carry on feeling rotten about the situation or take those feelings and channel them into creating the best possible future for you and your ds. Time to stop beating yourself up for this, none of us are perfect and we all balls up to varying degrees. You won't be the last person to make a mistake during pregnancy. Please stop hating yourself, its pointless and won't change anything.

M0naLisa Mon 08-Apr-13 13:19:27

He has Bronchilitas. He is 4 months old and had been on nebuliser today at the dr. No he's home but has web given a Ventalin inhaler and spacer.

Yes I have stopped.

Twinklestarstwinklestars Mon 08-Apr-13 13:24:22

I smoked 20 a day when pregnant with ds1 and he was fine, stopped way before ds2 but he was really poorly and still suffers with his chest.

Of course people should give up but don't worry that its your fault.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Mon 08-Apr-13 13:25:07

There's been horrendous outbreaks of bronchiolitis past couple of years. Dd2 had it twice. It's Nasty and its scary and worse still there is nothing you can do about it. But he will get better. All you can do is focus on the future now and do what everyone else does which is our best. We ALL make mistakes and just have to learn from them. Please , there's no point in beating yourself up over this, it's always going to be a case of we will never know. Just look after Urself and your ds x

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Mon 08-Apr-13 13:27:53

Nobody's perfect OP, don't waste energy hating yourself for something you can't change. You need to focus on your baby.

Hope he's on the mend soon

tiggytape Mon 08-Apr-13 13:39:56

We all make mistakes. Parenting is a whole lifetime's work and not many of us will get through it without doing something stupid or something we regret over the years.

And like so many things parents beat themselves up about - it isn't ideal but it also may just be bad luck. You will never know for definite if it was the direct cause. You are sorry, you have done all you can to put it right and you are channelling your energies into making him better and making sure you do the right things now - that's all you can do.

SnowHOHOboarder Mon 08-Apr-13 13:42:43

Just wanted to add, my DS1 has had reucurring bronchiolitis and also has inhalers & a spacer. He's suffered with breathing difficulties since he was born 2 years ago and we have made a few panicked midnight A&E dashes when he's been particularly bad.

I've never smoked in my life, I haven't even tried it.

Please don't blame yourself. At least you know it was wrong and wouldn't do it again.

BegoniaBampot Mon 08-Apr-13 13:43:15

hope your son is ok OP. you can't change the past but can control the future.

AnyFucker Mon 08-Apr-13 13:46:16

Bronchiolitis is epidemic in the months Nov-April

It is extremely contagious and yes, there are risk factors (parental smoking being only one of them) but love, don't beat yourself up

What's done is done, and you need to use that strength now to care for your boy in the best way you can x

AnyFucker Mon 08-Apr-13 13:47:43

just a minute

he has bronchiolitis ? Who told you it is hereditary ? It is bloody hell as like.

AnyFucker Mon 08-Apr-13 13:48:01

is it bloody hell as like

HotelFromage Mon 08-Apr-13 13:50:16

So, you've given up smoking, despite not being able to do so during pregnancy - that can't have been easy.

You've admitted on a public forum that your actions weren't ideal.

I'd say your DS has got a very brave mum. Good luck to you both.

AnonymousBird Mon 08-Apr-13 13:51:18

Sorry, is there a parallel universe of MN out there somewhere??

I am shock.

AnyFucker Mon 08-Apr-13 13:52:47

Is there a point you were wanting to make, AB ?

BalloonSlayer Mon 08-Apr-13 13:53:34

My DS has had asthma from a very young age and I have never smoked!

Please don't beat yourself up. xx

Pancakeflipper Mon 08-Apr-13 13:54:00

Bronchiolitis is not hereditary. It can be a an area of weakness where parents are on red alert when their child has a cold checking it doesn't go back that way especially when their child is a baby.

My DS2 had a few days in hospital from this horrid illness when he was old. We don't smoke. It is not related.

It takes a while from them to bounce back from it.

If you are worried about asthma - I understand they don't do a proper diagnosis on that until about 4 yrs old ( but other wise MN's) will have info on that.

Loislane78 Mon 08-Apr-13 13:56:27

What anyfucker said - loads of babies get it/had it this year and its a VIRAL infection, I don't think you even get antibiotics for that.

Altinkum Mon 08-Apr-13 13:58:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Mon 08-Apr-13 13:58:11

Bronchiolitis is related to parental smoking, sorry.

It is a risk factor...along with poor social circumstances, overcrowding, prematurity, other medical conditions, exposure to viruses eg. from a school aged sibling etc (probably not an exhaustive list)

Having said that, not one factor off that list is a cause in of itself.

Ionasky Mon 08-Apr-13 13:59:03

There isn't any point feeling bad now, at least you have given up, stick with that and focus on looking after him. the past cannot be changed. Self hatred just weakens you further. Fwiw, mum smoked through 4 pregnancies, none of us have asthma but she's very lucky. People do do this though, people do drink also when pg, some get away with it. Anyhow, time to move forward.

Loislane78 Mon 08-Apr-13 14:02:05

www.nhs.uk/conditions/Bronchiolitis/Pages/Introduction.aspx

M0naLisa Mon 08-Apr-13 14:45:06

Sorry not Bronchilitus is hereditary. Asthma can be hereditary. Got my words mixed up in my OP!

I stopped for two weeks in pregnancy but eh got finished from work and the stress made me start again.

I started smoking after DS2 was born. It was my coping mechanism during PND

Although DS1 has Asthma and I didn't smoke during his pregnancy :-/

Thanks for not been hard on me.

M0naLisa Mon 08-Apr-13 14:46:02

Dh* got finished from work

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