to want to throw the coffee in her face?

(58 Posts)
RockingTheBoat Tue 02-Apr-13 17:53:49

There is a woman at work, she is higher than me but is a completely different department so I don't work directly with her.

Every time she sees me she asks me to make her a coffee, which I do and then she never drinks it.


I'm thinking it is just a power trip kind of thing but it's bloody annoying.

<disclaimer - I wouldn't throw coffee in anyones face.>

VodkaJelly Tue 02-Apr-13 17:55:23

What would happen if you calmy replied "It is not in contract to make coffee, sorry" then walk away?

Sounds like a power trip and you are enabling her by making the coffee.

catgirl1976 Tue 02-Apr-13 17:55:55

She might just be relly busy

But yes, she might be asserting her authority

Next time say "I think it's your turn" or "You never drink them when I do" in a light hearted way and see what she says

Don't throw it in her face shock do 'accidently' trip and spill it all over her desk though, she won't ask you again

HeathRobinson Tue 02-Apr-13 18:00:21

How well do you make it? wink

DuchessofMalfi Tue 02-Apr-13 18:00:59

If no-one's looking, scoop the water out of the loo to make her coffee blush grin (I've never dared do that, but have heard tales that it's happened in other offices).

Salmotrutta Tue 02-Apr-13 18:02:53

Make it very badly.

Too strong/sweet/ whatever.

And keep doing it.

Why on earth is she asking you to make her coffee anyway?

I've never, ever had a superior ask me to do that!

Salmotrutta Tue 02-Apr-13 18:03:43

Or find a dead spider and pop it in.

That'll learn her.

RockingTheBoat Tue 02-Apr-13 18:05:33

She used to do it when I was on my break - she would pop her head around the door and say "would you mind making me a coffee?"

No I didn't mind the first couple of times. But then I noticed that none of them were ever drunk.

Now she does it all the time. It's just such a strange thing to do.

catkind Tue 02-Apr-13 18:09:47

That's weird. What line of work? You don't work in a coffee bar do you? wink

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 02-Apr-13 18:10:45

Why make it then? Next time deliberately mishear her and say brightly "Oh thanks, no sugar and white!" and dash off.

monsterchild Tue 02-Apr-13 18:11:08

Can you just not do it? What would happen if you smiles vaguely and didn't give it to her?

McNewPants2013 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:12:16

Is it in your contract, if not I wouldn't be making it.

When I have meeting with my boss she makes the coffee.

Scholes34 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:13:29

Just say "Yes, sure" and then forget to make it. If she's not drinking it, she won't notice.

Be all offended. Go on and on about it. 'Don't you like my coffee/what's the matter with my coffee? You never drink it, is it horrible? etc

b4bunnies Tue 02-Apr-13 18:18:16

get in first. whenever you see her, offer her a coffee.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 02-Apr-13 18:19:55

Make it oddly...if she never drinks it then badly won't affect her. One day, make it with a cocktail umbrella...the next day add a twirly straw. Add stickers to the mug...a fluffy mug cosy...

if she comments say "I'm trying to make them more appealing as you never drink them despite asking me for one daily."

SanctiMOMious Tue 02-Apr-13 18:20:06

I would say "certainly!" and then just forget.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 02-Apr-13 18:21:21

If you don't have the nerve to do the above...then say "Aw...sorry! I can't. I have repetitive strain injury and my wrist is too sore. Ask someone else!" with a big grin so she can't accuse you of rudeness.

ivykaty44 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:21:28

next time she asks - look straight at her and say

no as every single coffee I have made for you is disgusting otherwise why else wouldn't you drink them?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 02-Apr-13 18:22:17

No gosh get one of these! job's a good un!

RockingTheBoat Tue 02-Apr-13 18:22:47

I honestly think I must be like Monica from Friends, I have an uncontrollable need to please people haha.

I do love the suggestions though.

RockingTheBoat Tue 02-Apr-13 18:23:34

No gosh get one of these! job's a good un!

Only £4.99 too! sold! grin

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 02-Apr-13 18:24:49

And get a little frilly pinny...which you don every time she asks. THen once the coffee is delivered, remove it and say to her "I only wear that when I'm the office maid...I do like to look dainty when I do my menial tasks."

Calabria Tue 02-Apr-13 18:24:49

I had a boss who never drank the tea I made him. (Part of my job was making drinks). Whenever I asked him why he always said that it was cold. But it wasn't cold when I gave it to him. Used to piss me right off as he was a fussy git about his tea and I pride myself in making drinks the way people like them.


EuroShaggleton Tue 02-Apr-13 18:34:32

I'm intrigued as to what you do. I can count on one hand the number of times I have asked someone to bring me a drink at work and on each occasion I was stuck on a "quick conference call" that turned into a 3 hr epic so I was "trapped".

ivykaty44 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:35:48

when I worked in a hotel we used to have a foursome come in every week for a working lunch - they would order lunch when they arrived in the morning and ask for it at 1pm. In the year that they came they never ate their lunch - all four dishes would be stone cold and untouched every single week

i never understood why?

They never complained and they always paid the bill

McNewPants2013 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:38:08

Ivy perhaps the bill was covered by the company and they just wanted to waste company money

mybelovedmonster Tue 02-Apr-13 18:40:28

Alternatively, get the twat mug

BalloonSlayer Tue 02-Apr-13 18:47:21

Could you perhaps muster up the nerve to say: "Sorry I haven't got time right now I'm in an awful rush but hang on a minute ... [bellow] UH, GUYS!!! LAZYARSEWOMAN WANTS A CUP OF COFFEE!! ANYONE GOT TIME TO MAKE IT FOR HER? [return to normal tone] I'm sure someone who can help you will be along in a minute." Smile brightly and rush off, in busy fashion.

BalloonSlayer Tue 02-Apr-13 18:48:29

anyone else got the raging hmm about ivykaty's "foursome" and their "working lunch" ?

ciavula Tue 02-Apr-13 18:56:19

Ivykaty during my waitress days, there was a foursome who used to come and do the same thing but they would switch round the plates between them as well. Really, really odd.

You should invest in crazily flavoured teas instead, OP!

KurriKurri Tue 02-Apr-13 18:57:37

Oh God she sounds annoying.

When she asks, get out of your chair go over to the door and look on the back of it, then say 'Just checking to see if it said 'Starbucks' on there'

Xmasbaby11 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:58:08

Why not ask her if you're making it wrong? You probably aren't, but it'll make her realise you know she isn't drinking it, and she'll have to make an excuse then, and perhaps think twice in future.

TheCraicDealer Tue 02-Apr-13 22:19:39

Wait, so you're being asked to do this on your break? That is downright rude! Part of my job as the office junior was (sometimes still is) to make drinks/get post/general dogsbody, but if my boss asked me to do it on my lunch, in my own Just no.

If she asks you again say, "Sorry, I'm just about to head out on my break [faintly apologetic smile]". If this is beyond you, take some hints from my charming forces DP. Tea-related revenge horror stories include willies being rubbed on rims of mugs, pee used as a flavouring...I could go on. My personal favourite was a friend of DP's dropping a "piss cake" from the urinal into their boss' tea and then leaving it on his desk. The Sergeant went, "What the fuck is this?!", the friend whisked over to his desk, picked up the mug and smiling brightly said, "oh, that was meant for the dickhead who made me make his tea again, sorry." and walked off.

YouTheCat Tue 02-Apr-13 22:25:39

I have a Twat mug. grin

If she asks again and you are on your break, just say you'll do it after your break. Then forget.

BOEUF Tue 02-Apr-13 22:28:27

Can you mention it to your own line manager and say its making you feel uncomfortable? She/he might be pissed off at someone outside their team trying to put you at their disposal like this, and they might have an icy word.

"she is higher than me but is a completely different department so I don't work directly with her."
So why do you think you have to take orders from her? confused

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Tue 02-Apr-13 22:36:04

Or you could try 'sorry, I know you're management but you're not actually my manager and I don't really appreciated being ordered about'.

What's the worst that could happen if you're polite about it? Unless you are contracted to make someone's tea I can't see how she could expect you to carry on once you've raised the point.

MrsDeVere Tue 02-Apr-13 22:45:46

I was a very young and very busy medical secretary in an A&E dept. I was the only one working for two consultants and a registrar and all the SHOs. Plus admin for nurses etc.

A new Manager arrived. On his first day he handed me his cup and said 'two sugars'.

I handed it back.

I was a shy 20 something but even I wasn't going to put up with that shite.

He never asked me again.

Could you start wearing earphones? Especially when she is about - then you can pretend not to hear her? Does she actually wait for you to make it, do you bring it to her? Are you often near the kettle when she is about?

I would make it with cold water, especially if she doesn't drink it - she will stop asking, if she notices.

This happened to me once and in the end I just replied calmly "I'm sorry I'm really busy with xyz - but the coffee machine is over there"

scrap my suggestion - the best passive-aggressive solution is to simply nod and then not make it. If she calls you up on it then you simply forgot because you are too busy doing your actual job

BruisedFanjo Tue 02-Apr-13 23:45:37

Power trip. Def. I kinda agree with those saying to ask her why she doesn't like it or say something along the lines of "Oh I would, but you don't seem to enjoy my coffee very much". That way, its all polite and above-board, but with the right tone, and look in your eye...

She will know that you're on to her


BruisedFanjo Tue 02-Apr-13 23:47:56

Power trip. Def. I kinda agree with those saying to ask her why she doesn't like it or say something along the lines of "Oh I would, but you don't seem to enjoy my coffee very much". That way, its all polite and above-board, but with the right tone, and look in your eye...

She will know that you're on to her


ZacharyQuack Wed 03-Apr-13 00:04:35

Could you keep the previous day's undrunk coffee and just microwave it for her?

SanctiMOMious Wed 03-Apr-13 00:17:21

It doesn't matter whether she likes it or not. I wouldn't want ot be pigeon-holed as the woman walking around the office bringing other people coffee. So I'd just keep saying 'sure, coming right up" and then forget. and rinse, and repeat, and rinse and repeat. If challenged about your forgetfulness say'oh I'm sorry I had this report to complete and I guess I prioritised it!'.

SanctiMOMious Wed 03-Apr-13 00:21:40

You sound like me Mrsdevere. I once had a man (again, senior to me I guess, but not my boss) put a typewriter on my desk. on MY desk. department of abotu 35,and me the only woman, so the typewriter went on my desk. logical to him. I put it back when he was at lunch. it had been at his desk when he arrived and he was new. He got the ache an put it back on my desk. I walked back to his desk with the typewriter and put it back on his desk, this time with him sitting there watching me, and the other 33 in the office slackjawed waiting for a good row. I said to him "i think it's important that whatever home you find for this typewriter, it not be on MY desk, as some people are prone to make sexist assumptions as it is, contact maintenance perhaps?;'

I had cojones when I was 24. what happened?

GreenEggsAndNichts Wed 03-Apr-13 00:24:15

It's a shame she doesn't drink it, otherwise you could just make very very bad coffee every time until she stopped. Easily done if it's instant.

Anyway, agree with passive-aggressive responses above. It's a shame you've been doing it so long; you've set a bad precedent. Just 'forget' and go from there. Though I like the idea of noting that she must not like your coffee.

SanctiMOMious Wed 03-Apr-13 00:25:05

it was heavy that yoke as well! i had to focus on not going red in the face when I was walking accross the office with it for the second time in half an hour.

ONE job I was prepared to do was change the water cooler. I remember a bunch of men standing around it gasping for water, 'oh i'm so thirsty, is there a maintenance man about?' and I picked up the old empty, and replaced it. Not saying it was easy, but it wasn't that hard. I was five foot 2. a line up of six footers stood there waiting for me to finish so they could have some water. they were so HOT!! standing around n all.
in their ties. bless.

MansView Wed 03-Apr-13 12:24:08

RE: "she is higher than me but is a completely different department so I don't work directly with her."
So why do you think you have to take orders from her?


tho, it does seem very strange that you do make the coffee in the first place...

but if you feel as tho you have to - do you have a microwave oven? - then simply reheat the same cup over and over again... smile

Pagwatch Wed 03-Apr-13 12:28:02

If she doesn't drink it just keep it and give it to her again next time.
My mum used to do that if I didn't eat my cabbage.

Pagwatch Wed 03-Apr-13 12:28:46

X-posted with mansview. grin

I really wouldn't make any comments about why doesn't she drink it? That's effectively agreeing you should be making it. Next time she asks, you're either on your break, or you're busy, but if she's making one, you'd love one thanks.
Been trying to think how I'd feel if a colleague of my boss did this. I'd do it, no question - because they would be asking as a one off and a favour, not doing it to have some stupid power trip!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 03-Apr-13 13:07:27

Rocking I really hope you've found a good solution amongst all these suggestions because I really want to know what happened! grin

ChasingDogs Wed 03-Apr-13 13:11:08

"Sorry, I'm on my break/working/about to have a wheelie chair race with Bob".

Or laugh, say "very funny! You get me every time! You don't even drink coffee you joker!" and walk off.

Doingthedo Wed 03-Apr-13 13:15:47

get to the pound shop in Scarborough, they have mugs with 'twat' on the front... for a pound!

quoteunquote Wed 03-Apr-13 14:00:15

Are you sure she is not drinking the coffee? I love cold coffee, so leave it sitting for hours.

disclaimer I am not your boss, everyone makes me coffee without me asking

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