to consider getting a boob job?

(71 Posts)
fizzykola Tue 02-Apr-13 16:22:54

Its just seems very not 'me'. I've never been a large lady. But having hit 40 and two DC down, my norks are like tiny empty samosas sad.

It makes me feel very unsexy, and I can't help thinking that it would improve sex with DH. It's nothing to do with his reaction, he's always saying how sexy I am etc, it really is down to my own reaction. I think if I was a bloke I'd be a 'boob man' - I do think they're really womanly and attractive. I remember when I was PG and my boobs got a bit bigger, how much sexier I felt and how much more I initiated things.

But I don't feel cosmetic surgery is the magic answer, and am put off by:

the expense
having a major op
having to get them replaced over time - is that right?
having two alien sacs in my body= maybe not feeling so sexy after all?

I wouldn't want massive bazookas, just a enough to fill a bra and a handful! grin

Any views? Anyone been there done that, wore the tighter t-shirt??

FriedSprout Tue 02-Apr-13 16:26:21

Have you had a look at the bra threads in Style and Beauty?

Getting the correct bra has made a huuuuuge difference to the look of my boobs.

I now have a shape and all boobage has been herded in the correct direction.

Worth a try before you go down the surgery route.

Nancy66 Tue 02-Apr-13 16:57:59

If your only reason is doing it for your DH then you really should think twice - especially since he has said that he finds you sexy as you are.

Contrary to belief a lot of men hate fake boobs. My husband has an ex who had a boob job and he found it a massive turn off. Said they felt and looked horrible.

But it's a myth that implants need to replaced - they don't unless there is an issue with them.

HappyJoyful Tue 02-Apr-13 16:58:59

I know a few people who have done it, for very similar reasons to you and haven't looked back, they love them! I don't think you do have to get them replaced, I think that was the old style ones when there was a big scare.
Not for me, though face similar thoughts to you.

anonymosity Tue 02-Apr-13 17:09:32

I'd suggest looking into possible side-effects, too. I understand sometimes that sensitivity is lost and that wouldn't be great as far as I can see.

jellybeans Tue 02-Apr-13 17:48:59

If we all saw normal boobs all the time and not page 3 style boobs we would feel much better about ourselves. I have heard people say that boobs 'fill up' again later in life and also on things like the mirena coil so things may improve? For me i think it is wrong to cut open the body and insert foreign objects unless of severe deformity/mastectomy etc. it usually looks so obvious also.? Often people say they do it for them but how much of that is subconsciously being cultured to feel that way?

specialsubject Tue 02-Apr-13 17:55:13

fake boobs always look ludicrous.

newsflash - you will get wrinkles, go grey, go a bit saggy. It's called aging. It's part of life and no-one should worry about it. I also guarantee that no-one else notices.

you are healthy otherwise (I hope) - why on earth would you want an unnecessary operation?

MrsKoala Tue 02-Apr-13 17:57:11

Once i have finished with having my dc i will be having mine done. DH doesn't care, (he's not a boob man and loves me as i am) but i hate my boobs. nothing massive, just enough to balance me out and make me more in proportion. I only feed from one side so have one big saggy boob and one tiny fried egg sad

MrsKoala Tue 02-Apr-13 18:00:15

i don't agree that fake boobs 'always look ludicrous'. Specialsubject - are you saying women who have had reconstructive surgery look ludicrous? Because i think boobs are like toupes, you only notice the bad ones. massive fake boobs do look odd, but proportionate teardrop shaped ones can look very natural.

When you're older, you might look like this

LornMowa Tue 02-Apr-13 18:07:46

I once knew someone who said that he hated it when his wife wore earrings in bed as he felt a bit squeamish about them so I imagine that there would be a fair few men that would find fake boobs off putting.

I usually find that a small glass of wine is sufficient to make me forget the saggy bits and just get on with enjoying myself - much cheaper too!

OhLori Tue 02-Apr-13 18:11:04

go ahead, OP. It will make you happier, more interesting, richer, more talented, more genuine, more fun, less self-obsessed, and of course sexier <hollow laugh>

digerd Tue 02-Apr-13 18:12:09

Nothing to do with getting older. She has skeletonised herself with dieting/starving herself. And her implants look ridiculous. And she looks terminally ill. <but happy?>

RockingTheBoat Tue 02-Apr-13 18:13:33

Hmm. Cosmetic surgery has such a negative reaction in the UK and I have no idea why.

I had a breast reduction and it gave me so much more confidence.

If you can afford it and you are doing it purely for yourself then hell yes go for it.

OhLori Tue 02-Apr-13 18:15:49

I think breast reduction is slightly different. Very large breasts are often uncomfortable (and possibly the result of early contraception pill). That said, why should women constantly apologise for who they are ... too big ... too small ... too blah ... too blah .... I mean FGS.

lottieandmia Tue 02-Apr-13 18:17:59

'Contrary to belief a lot of men hate fake boobs. My husband has an ex who had a boob job and he found it a massive turn off. Said they felt and looked horrible.'

Sorry but if you believe this you'll believe anything! wink I think men feel that they need to say this as it's what's acceptable to society. When I had mine done I thought maybe some men wouldn't like them because everyone says they don't. However, that has not been my experience at all, believe me! Although I definitely did them for myself and how I feel about my body and nobody else.

OP, I had mine done because after 4 years of breastfeeding they went empty in the top. I am really pleased with the result I have and my scars are not even visible. It's really important to get a good plastic surgeon though. Avoid clinics like Transform and HMG imo! And make sure they are not PIP obviously.

Nancy66 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:21:20

No, I do believe him Lottie. He just isn't a fan of the fake look.

Plus I've seen some really shockingly bad boob jobs - and I have felt fake boobs (friend had them done and I was curious!) and they felt very strange.

OhLori Tue 02-Apr-13 18:21:58

Somehow, throughout the whole history of time, women have managed not to have cosmetic surgery to feel good about themselves.

Bunfags Tue 02-Apr-13 18:22:22

I don't know why UK people frown upon cosmetic surgery either. It's your body, so who cares what anyone else thinks. If you're an adult, pierce it, tattoo it and modify it in any way you fancy. It's entirely up to you.

Really, if someone has an issue whith what you choose to do to your own boobs, well, that says more about them than it does about you.

OhLori Tue 02-Apr-13 18:28:00

Its just social commentary, what we notice about whats going on around us, and the conclusions we draw. Otherwise MN would be non-existent!

Also, by that logic if an individual wants to hang themselves, I would pass no remark.

Feminism has been replaced by Narcissim. (this is no comment on the OP, who has put her case genuinely, I know thousands of women have similar dilemmas).

It means nothing to me if an ordinary woman i.e. not a porn star or film star/model spends thousands on plastic surgery, but I think its fair to comment on this generally. I am sure OP will make up her own mind.

Manchesterhistorygirl Tue 02-Apr-13 18:28:13

Op I it would make you happier I would go ahead.

I would like to get mine lifted. After breastfeeding 2 children for 4 and a bit years they're a bit deflated.

MrsKoala Tue 02-Apr-13 18:30:00

ohlori - how do you know women have felt good about themselves throughout the whole history of time? it's only now women can do something about it if they want.

McNewPants2013 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:34:57

I would love a tummy tuck, and when I get the money I will have it done.

Op if your really want a boob job go for it.

SmilingCrocodile Tue 02-Apr-13 18:37:44

I'm quite a firm believer that if you are unhappy with something about yourself - weight, nose, scars etc

And you have the ability to change that then you should.

Life is too short to be largely upset about one part of your body.

I had my nose done. It was done all from the inside (so it wasn't broken) - there was no pain just a little bit of bruising.

I love my new nose. I did it for me and it has given me confidence.

fizzykola Tue 02-Apr-13 18:39:28

"go ahead, OP. It will make you happier, more interesting, richer, more talented, more genuine, more fun, less self-obsessed, and of course sexier <hollow laugh>"

OhLori you sound like you have a bit of an axe to grind? Or are just sharpening it up on my post? Of course women through time haven't had access to cosmetic surgery. But we've always found ways to make ourselves feel better about our looks, and therefore how we feel. Or do you not wear jewelry? Make up? Half-decent clothes? Get your hair cut, coloured or any other 'cosmetic' adornment? None of that is 'apologising for who we are' So FGS yerself.

Everyone else, thanks for your replies. You've pretty much summed up my confusion about whether to go for it. I don't have a problem with other aspects of ageing, in fact I quite like it. It's not really an age thing, I've always felt a bit short-changed boobage-wise, and think maybe it's now or never.

SmilingCrocodile Tue 02-Apr-13 18:39:43

Also just wanted to point out when I had my nose done, I had an overnight stay in the hospital too.

When I was waiting in the reception the next morning there was a man there too who had obviously had a nose job done too (had the same bandages on as me)

Cosmetic surgery is so not just for women.

SmilingCrocodile Tue 02-Apr-13 18:43:39

Also Fizzy I went with Harley Medical Group - who were fantastic.

You go for a consultation first and talk to a nurse first.

So any worries you have, replacements, how they would feel etc you'd be able to ask all of these and then make your decision.

Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

I would like mine doing.

They are like saggy, empty sacks after breastfeeding.
I know lots of women with implants and the majority look fantastic. Unless you knew it would never be obvious.
A good surgeon with personal recommendations is the key.

I have great bras that make my boobs look fantastic in clothes, but on the beach and in bed I feel, well, deflated.

'Contrary to belief a lot of men hate fake boobs. My husband has an ex who had a boob job and he found it a massive turn off. Said they felt and looked horrible.'

^this made me smile. I suspect most men, if questioned, would feel uncomfortable discussing the finer points of their ex girlfriend's anatomy with their current wife. He's hardly likely to tell you what a pair of corkers she had grin

lottieandmia Tue 02-Apr-13 18:47:01

'No, I do believe him Lottie. He just isn't a fan of the fake look.

Plus I've seen some really shockingly bad boob jobs - and I have felt fake boobs (friend had them done and I was curious!) and they felt very strange.'

Yes, there are some bad ones - that's why it's important to find a good plastic surgeon. I think that if you're with a man then he will like you for who you are whether you have implants or not, personally. But it sounds like the OP wants to do it for herself which is the important thing.

lottieandmia Tue 02-Apr-13 18:52:23

Yes, when people are talking about their exes they will no longer have any emotional attachment to them and tend to make negative remarks if anything ime.

midastouch Tue 02-Apr-13 18:56:04

Before my DC i had 32DD boobs they are now droopy and empty 32C. I would love my boobs back but id never do it even if i had the money, the horror stories worry too much.
If you 100% want it go for it, its your body and if it makes you happier nobody has the right to judge

MooMooSkit Tue 02-Apr-13 18:58:40

I think you defintely need to give it a few months worth of thinking about it before you do anything and if you still feel the same, then it might be worth considering. However, please just do it for you and you only! I know my other half loves my boobs the way they are but I'm still going through with a reduction one day as it's the way I feel about them that makes me sad!

theodorakisses Tue 02-Apr-13 19:14:42

I had a lift and it is absolutely fantastic. It hasn't changed my life or made me happier but it does make me feel better about that part of my body. I am a 34B and can just buy bras off the shelf. I didn't have any side effects, 2 nights in hospital and a few days at home.
I look at it that this body only has another 30 years or so and then, when it is buried in the ground it won't matter what it looks like. Until then, if it helps, then why the hell not?

midori1999 Tue 02-Apr-13 19:16:39

If you decide to go ahead, please avoid large companies like The Harley Medical Group, Transform etc. You only have to see how they used cheap PIP implants and then ditched their patients when the PIP scandal came to light, to see how they treat their patients. hmm plus, these companies use cosmetic surgeons, who are not as highly qualified as plastic surgeons and would not be likely to gain employment in the NHS as they arent qualified enough. you can find a reputable surgeon who is BAAPS or BAPRAS registered either through your GP or BAAPS or BAPRAS directly.

I have had two breast enlargements. Initially went from an A to a D cup and then in 2008 to a GG cup, although I'm currently breastfeeding and do an H/HH cup. They don't look at all fake, no one suspects I've had it done unless I tell them (I'm not the 'type' apparently confused ) and perhaps surprisingly they don't even look that big for my size/frame. I wasn't unhappy with my breasts before really, I just fancied them being bigger. it hasn't changed my life in any way, it hasn't improved my sex life, I just have bigger breasts.

However, breastfeeding and recurrent mastitis has caused problems with the implants and one has possible ruptured. They are also PIP implants. Once I am finished breastfeeding (currently pregnant and still nursing a toddler now, do wont be for a while!) I'll be getting my implants removed and probably not getting them replaced as health problems I have now that I didn't have at the time of the original surgeries mean any surgery is risky and although implant's don't need routine replacement, you can't ever rule out the need for them being replaced if there's a problem.

Lilipaddle Tue 02-Apr-13 19:32:50

no experience, but I would assume fake boobs would feel very different to real boobs? That alone would put me off unless it was a situation of having a breast replaced that had been removed for medical reasons.
Try a push up bra.

OhLori Tue 02-Apr-13 19:45:54

I've never read such a rubbishy thread on MN tbh. But good luck with the surgery.

HoneyStepMummy Tue 02-Apr-13 20:42:17

The only regret I have is not getting my surgery much earlier! I'm extremely happy with the results and have no problems at all. I don't look fake and my boobs feel like real tissue.

However I did think about getting them done for years and spent years researching it. Before you take the plunge see if you can do other things to make you feel happier about how your breasts make you feel. Try working out, buy a really pretty bra that makes you feel good, and try to focus on another part of your body that you like and makes you feel sexy (great legs, nice bum, toned arms etc)

Most people can't tell and don't know that mine are fake.

BarredfromhavingStella Tue 02-Apr-13 20:59:29

No experience of this but I think if you want them done then go for it. I would however say that when I was younger I always said if I had the cash I'd go up a cup, this was until I watched a programme that showed the procedure in full-put me right off hmm

stephrick Tue 02-Apr-13 21:19:25

I need a boob job, but the other way, you can have some of mine.

theodorakisses Wed 03-Apr-13 11:56:53

I was given a choice between simple surgery with scars and keyhole without. As I have not yet been poached from the world of HR to be a bikini model, I went for the scars, most have faded now but it doesn't worry me anyway.

SnookyPooky Wed 03-Apr-13 12:58:02

Had mine done 8 years ago. Never regretted it, no problems at all.
Best advice is to find a good surgeon, don't go too big and have them placed under the muscle.
I would have other stuff done too if I had the money.

lottieandmia Wed 03-Apr-13 13:02:16

Nobody knows I've had mine done - not even my parents.

dopeysheep Wed 03-Apr-13 13:10:20

A good bra is not going to change the fact that as soon as you unhook the bugger, your tits go awry.
I would have one but think I would need a lift and fill, not just extra stuffing. It's quite involved and I have a feeling they have to cut your nipples off and reattach them. Bleurch. I only know this from tv though so could be wrong.

Feminine Wed 03-Apr-13 13:16:47

I don't truly know how I feel about it. op

I'm not in favour of messing about with GA unless there is a true medical need. I think we should look at pictures of what real breasts look like, more often. most of us really only see the ones in magazines!

I think we should learn to love what we are left with, after kids.

and buy a decent properly fitted bra. smile

SnookyPooky Wed 03-Apr-13 13:19:13

I had the choice of through the nipple or incision underneath. I went for underneath. A scar there that it hardly noticeable. A friend had hers through the nipple (same surgeon) and she was fine.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Wed 03-Apr-13 13:24:11

I would not do it. I would not risk my health for a cosmetic, far from essential procedure. Spend the money on some designer bags, shoes, scarves, new underwear and clothes. You can raise your game safer ways.

Mosman Wed 03-Apr-13 13:44:13

I am going to have a 2nd uplift soon, I foolishly had mine "done" they were fab and then had another baby.
I cannot recommend it enough for your confidence, I had teardrop implants and they look brilliant even now, but i'm a perfectionist ;-)

dopeysheep Wed 03-Apr-13 13:58:24

Did they cut your nipples off and reattach Mosman?
Off to google teardrop implants now!

midori1999 Wed 03-Apr-13 14:08:07

dopey, they don't always 'cut your nipples off' (they're not totally cut off), it depends on what type of incision you need for an uplift, there are several types.

Also, the type of implant, incision, placement etc may suit one person, but not another. A good surgeon will obviously be experienced enough to guide you as to what would be best in your situation.

For an augmentation (no uplift) it is possible to just have a local anaesthetic now in the UK, as far as I know, nowhere in the UK offers this for uplift too yet though.

igotaway Wed 03-Apr-13 14:25:14

I had mine done too, about 6 years ago, and look and feel brilliant. I went from an 'empty' 34a to a full 36d.

I have all sensation and never in a million years would you be able to tell

I did it for me and nobody else. It makes me laugh when I read about women who snort and get their judgy pants on, I think its because they want something done, but don't dare to.

I had the incision done underneath and the scar is totally invisible. I wasn't stitched, but glued back together.

Op, do the rice test first.. which is what my surgeon recommended, it might seem funny, but it gives you the idea.
Purchase a bra of the size you want eg 36d, (just get the cheapest you can) weigh out 2 equal portions of rice of 250grams, put into sealable bags and put into your new big bra and wear for as long as you like - gives you an idea of what you will look like! Some may scoff at this, put in more rice or less til you get the size you want - sounds totally daft I admit, but it works.

My surgeon was excellent, gave me a thorough talking too before hand, not like some of the groups that will tell you how fab you'll look, just for the money.
I can pm you his name if need be, he works mainly in the west midlands.

Whatever you decide, good luck.

Bunbaker Wed 03-Apr-13 14:38:43

"Initially went from an A to a D cup and then in 2008 to a GG cup"

I'm curious as to why you felt the need to go up again. Not judging, just nosey. I would like more curves, but am too chicken to do anything about it.

midori1999 Wed 03-Apr-13 14:44:37

I wouldn't have done it if my original implants didn't need changing (modern implants don't need changing) but I went bigger as a) I didn't want an uplift and wanted a more 'full' look and b) as they just didn't look that big and I fancied them bigger.

I realise they sound huge and there's no denying they look big, but they aren't giant pneumatic things or 'Jordan Style' boobs.

fizzykola Wed 03-Apr-13 14:49:17

Thanks all. igotaway that's a great idea re rice. Will try it. also convenient way to top up the kids' tea, just lean over hob

I'm in Scotland. I'd like to keep it quiet too, so it's reassuring that that's possible.

SorrelForbes Wed 03-Apr-13 15:03:22

igotaway how did your surgeon increase your underbust size?

OP. Come on over to the bra threads. It'll definitely help in the interim whilst your deliberating!

My DH doesn't like the fake boob look either. He says you can spot a lot of them a mile off.

fizzykola Wed 03-Apr-13 18:13:44

Sorrel thank you for the invitation. I saw you were doing lots of good work helping the boobs of Britain. I had a glance at the threads but wasn't sure where to start to look for the measurements thingy and tbh felt a bit loathe to be another one asking you for advice as it looks like a FT job for you.

SorrelForbes Wed 03-Apr-13 18:31:37

Not at all, come on over or feel free to drop a pm to one of us.

igotaway Wed 03-Apr-13 18:40:33

I had 350 augmentation put in over the muscle to increase my bust size.

For me, a great fitting bra didn't work as I had the figure of a square box!! hip waist and bust were almost the same measurement.

EdithWeston Wed 03-Apr-13 18:46:30

OP: if your DH likes your boobs as they are now, hen changing em isn't going to improve your sex life (which is what you mentioned early on in Your post as something you were hoping for).

Surgery isn't going to mend your sex life.

Is this really about your shape?

fizzykola Wed 03-Apr-13 19:14:30

Edith - I really appreciate you taking the time to post - I genuinely do. But it's not about mending my sex life, just improving it, and it is really about my shape. It's something I've thought about doing since I was in my late teens, loooooong before I met DH!

midori1999 Wed 03-Apr-13 19:27:34

I've messages you OP.

It's also worth mentioning it is best to see at least two or three surgeons to get different professional opinions and also an idea of someone you have a rapport with. You will also get a better idea of how honest they are being with you too.

jellybeans Wed 03-Apr-13 19:38:34

It's always interesting watching documentaries in tribal or traditional societies. Women are often topless and have natural boobs (ie what our culture would call 'ptosis' or sagging!) and they are not sexualised at all over there. Women do look like that natural it is not a disorder. In fact I watched one programme where men and women were told Western males are often obsessed with the breast and it is highly sexualised and they laughed and compared them (Western men) to babies! As that is what they see breasts as for!

theodorakisses Fri 05-Apr-13 07:20:58

and yet whenever the subject is womens freedom exactly such societies are accused of abuse of women.

Mosman Fri 05-Apr-13 07:48:33

They did cut my nips off and reattach them, they did such a good job I was still able to breast feed after the surgery to the surprise of my midwives

Branleuse Fri 05-Apr-13 08:02:32

I had a full uplift and 420cc under the muscle implants a few years ago.
They look fabulous and feel great. They balanced out my hips and im now hourglass instead of pear shaped. Its given me a lot of confidence both in clothes and naked, and they look very natural. Nobody who I didnt tell even guessed (even my own family) although a lot of people started saying that i was looking very slim, which was strange because i thought id look bigger. I guess I just look more balanced.
Before I had it done, my boobs were like spaniels ears, and i just felt deformed. It wasnt even the size, because i never was bothered about the size before kids, but im glad i had them enlarged too. Suits me so much.

Branleuse Fri 05-Apr-13 08:05:38

Plus dp was not bothered about me getting them done, and was happy with them the way they were, but since I had them done, he loves them. He says theyre a lot nicer than he thought they would be.
The fact that theyre not natural is neither here nor there. We both like other body mods too. Piercings and tattoos arent natural either, but they can be hot

DontmindifIdo Fri 05-Apr-13 08:24:13

I think if you want them done, do it. I think people are missing the point that when you say it's about improving your sex life, it's not about your DH's view of your body, but your own view of your body and your personal confidence. I can see that. I feel the same about my body, it doesn't matter how many times DH tells me I'm gorgeous if I'm not feeling it, I'm not feeling it.

I'm currently pregnant with DC2 and think after this, once we can afford it, I'll get mine done too. I don't want them to be big and fake looking, more put back what was there before I started with DCs.

Funnily enough, wrinkles don't bother me although I've been dying away my grey hair since I was 25

ENormaSnob Fri 05-Apr-13 08:24:14

I have loads of friends that have them and I think they look really nice. Seen some fabulous ones at work too.

In fact, I would have mine done if I wasn't at such high risk of breast cancer. I am worried about not feeling any changes/lumps.

sallievp Fri 05-Apr-13 08:36:25

@Specialsubject...''fake boobs look ludicrous'' are insulting and ill informed...
I have breast implants and they look lovely, natural, soft and not too big, no one ever guesses I have had anything 'done'
Not sure how many augmented breasts you have seen / felt??
but the vast vast majority of people who have implants done do not end up looking like Katie price!

OP its your decision to make but just make sure you research it thoroughly and don't be tempted to go too big!

abbscrosswoman Fri 05-Apr-13 09:08:29

For me I would not encourage 'unnecessary' surgery purely because there is always a risk that something will go opinion only.

But this thread has made me ponder if men undertake the level of cosmetic surgery that women seem to (no statistics, no flaming !).

Does anyone know a man that has undergone penis anhancement surgery ?

lottieandmia Fri 05-Apr-13 11:45:54

I agree sallie - lots of people have implants and they do not publicise the fact. The obvious ones are not the only ones iyswim. Mine don't look fake either imo. I don't see that it's a big deal as long as you know the risks and try to minimise them. As far as I'm concerned for me, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

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