Was my partner unreasonable? Or am I just an annoying backseat driver?

(108 Posts)
SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 22:51:10

My partner drove me and a friend out for dinner (so we would be able to have a glass of wine with dinner)

We were driving on a long stretch of road where there are fairly recent (less than a year) speed cameras.

I could see that he was driving at 56 and the limit is 50. So I quickly said slow down because there are speed cameras. He snapped back that yes he knew, I then said the speed is 50 and he again snapped back with - yes I know and that's just the average speed anyway so stop being an annoying backseat driver.

There was an awkward silence. Think my friend felt uncomfortable.

I tend not to ever comment if someone else is driving as it can be annoying, but felt I should say something as I wouldn't want him to get points or a fine.

humblebumble Mon 01-Apr-13 22:55:07

You were an annoying backseat driver. Your poor DP must have felt felt really embarrassed.

YABU

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Mon 01-Apr-13 22:55:16

No, he WBU. And a bit of an arse, for speeding in the first place.

McNewPants2013 Mon 01-Apr-13 22:55:29

I used to do that with DH, but now I don't care if he speed because it is his licence and he will get the points and the fine. Any increase in insurance would mean he will not have one of his luxcuries to cover the cost.

purplewithred Mon 01-Apr-13 22:55:34

Sorry, but you were being very annoying indeed, especially hammering the point home twice. He's a grownup and it's his risk.

If my dh did this to me I would be fantasising painful and humiliating punishments for him for the rest of the evening.

Is this a reverse?

Well if he's the driver then it's his responsabilty at the end of the day.
If he gets a speeding ticket he can't turn to his passengers and say "You didn't tell me it was a 50 mph zone"

(My 13 yo DS does this: "What speed are you doing Mother. 35? In a 30?)

I tell him there's a 10% variance in speedometers.

Numberlock Mon 01-Apr-13 22:57:55

I would imagine it will be the last time he drives so you can have a drink.

(it's a reverse though isn't it)

HollyBerryBush Mon 01-Apr-13 22:59:10

Inappropriately rude I'm afraid. You belittled him in front of your friend and assumed he wasn't able to read speed signs. everyone knows to slam on the breaks when the white lines are approaching

snuffaluffagus Mon 01-Apr-13 23:03:29

He overreacted. I would have thought it's fairly common practice to remind someone there's cameras about.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 01-Apr-13 23:07:11

What hollyberrybush

plus another

can't imagine that he will offer to drive you and a friend so that you can drink

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:08:51

But he was already on that exact road approaching the camera, so I assumed he didn't know, and then he didn't lower his speed so I assumed he thought it was a 60.

I can't believe that people would stay quiet if the person they were in the car with was approaching a speed camera and were going the limit?

And no this isn't a reverse aibu hmm

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:09:33

*going over the limit.

MidnightMasquerader Mon 01-Apr-13 23:10:13

Wow, can't imagine keeping that much of a beady eye on the speedometer while DH is driving. Do people actually do this?! hmm

He's driving, it was 6 - 6...! - miles over the limit, it's his licence it affects and his wallet the fine comes out of. <meh>

tigerdriverII Mon 01-Apr-13 23:10:25

YABU. He will know that the speedo in his car reads at least 10% over his actual speed, so he was doing about 50 anyway and that there is a bit of tolerance built in to speed cameras. So you were just slowing up the journey home, having been kindly driven back so you could have a drink. I think you should drive next time so you can do it perfectly.

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:10:45

can't imagine that he will offer to drive you and a friend so that you can drink

Probably not.

But he did kick me out of the car and then when I walked home he'd locked me out and set fire to all my clothes.

So I guess we're even now.

anonymosity Mon 01-Apr-13 23:12:21

Have you apologised OP?

McNewPants2013 Mon 01-Apr-13 23:13:14

I don't even warn other drivers if there is a mobile speed camera.

It's the drivers responsibility to ensure they do the speed limit

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:14:04

Wow, can't imagine keeping that much of a beady eye on the speedometer while DH is driving. Do people actually do this?!

No of course I don't - but you know when someone is driving fast and I assumed he didn't know. It's a very open road and non-residential so most people would assume it was 60.

He travels a lot for his job so it would be bad if he got points.

I wasn't doing it to be annoying or to belittle him. I genuinely thought he didn't know.

TheDetective Mon 01-Apr-13 23:14:59

YANBU. I would tell my DP too.

He's a new driver, with already astronomical insurance. It's all well saying it is his licence blah blah, but it would directly impact on me.

So I'd tell him. And I'd expect anyone to tell me. Even if I knew. And was irritated. I'd rather that than any more points on my licence.

jinxdragon Mon 01-Apr-13 23:15:00

What? WHAT?

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:15:01

And I got a ticket for driving just 2 miles over the speed limit before.

BreconBeBuggered Mon 01-Apr-13 23:16:38

I'd have said something along the lines of 'Watch out for the speed cameras', and I'd expect my DH to do the same if I was driving, as we don't have spare cash to piss away on fines. No other form of comment on driving is acceptable, however, from either party.

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:16:53

I don't even warn other drivers if there is a mobile speed camera

Why not? I'm genuinely curious ...

It doesn't have to be said in a patronising way, but just a "watch out because theres a speed camera just ahead"

McNewPants2013 Mon 01-Apr-13 23:17:12

But he did kick me out of the car and then when I walked home he'd locked me out and set fire to all my clothes.

I think your relationship has alot more problems if this thread is real and he did do this.

Iaintdunnuffink Mon 01-Apr-13 23:18:08

I've reminded my husband about speed limits before and he's done the same to me, I've been caught for doing 33 in a 30 limit before. If I'm a passenger in a car I have every right to tell someone if they're potentially driving dangerously. Today I was about to open my mouth that we were in a 30 zone and he was doing 40 but I saw the cameras go and informed him about that instead.

LaQueen Mon 01-Apr-13 23:18:13

If someone nagged me for doing 56, in a 50 zone...I wouldn't be driving them again.

TheDetective Mon 01-Apr-13 23:18:15

If I see a camera, I always warn someone if they are driving. Especially my mum, who if she got points, and I didn't say something would definitely blame me for it. Even if I wasn't in the car it would still be my fucking fault. Obviously.

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:18:45

No other form of comment on driving is acceptable, however, from either party.

I honestly never comment on any other part of his (or anyone else's driving) - unless maybe they were about to hit something.

McNewPants2013 Mon 01-Apr-13 23:20:09

Because I hope they get caught speeding.

I got ran over as a child, the women was doing the speed limit but it still resulted in me have 3 operations and still have pain in my leg. I believe I would have been killed if this women was speeding.

TheDetective Mon 01-Apr-13 23:20:43

Why would you sit in a car with someone driving dangerously? And driving over the speed limit is dangerous, to yourself, and others using the road.

I wouldn't want an accident, or injury, or even death on my conscience. I'd rather say something and be thought annoying.

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:21:16

If someone nagged me for doing 56, in a 50 zone...I wouldn't be driving them again

That's twisting the story though. I never said we were driving in a 50 zone and bf was going 56! I was shocked and nagged him until he slowed down.

We were approaching a speed camera. I'd have warned anyone.

Iaintdunnuffink Mon 01-Apr-13 23:22:56

"No other form of comment on driving is acceptable, however, from either party"

I warned my husband last month that the traffic lights were red, then I screamed it again as he carried on. He screeched to a halt well over the line.

MintChocCh1p Mon 01-Apr-13 23:23:59

Ha ha. Poor OP.

Can you imagine the reverse?

' I noticed my other half was doing 56 in a 50 zone. He probably assumed the limit was 60 as it's a new road. Anyway, I couldn't be arsed to tell him , merely thought ' ah well, his license, heh heh heh '

DONT BE SO RIDICULOUS. Of COURSE she was right to point it out to him.

willowstar Mon 01-Apr-13 23:24:02

I would have said something without even thinking about it and my husband would do the same...we live rurally and have to drive to survive and are piss poor so wouldn't want the fines. I can't imagine him reacting like your partner all. You were not being unreasonable.

pompompom Mon 01-Apr-13 23:24:17

If DP is driving over the speed limit, I ask him to slow down. Don't get what the problem is tbh.

I'm a bit baffled by these responses OP..

You kindly warn your husband he's about to go through a speed limit whilst driving too fast and you're the unreasonable one?

Okaaaay.

ComposHat Mon 01-Apr-13 23:28:03

Having an appalling backseat driving partner, I can sympathise with your husband. Do you drive too OP? She has never sat behind the wheel of a car in her life, but it doesn't stop her doing a running critical commentary.

'Get your bloody foot down' - on icy/wet/busy roads if I dare do less than the speed limit.
'Overtake overtake' - on a twisty country lane with numerous blind bends.
'it's only on amber - what you bloody playing at?'

If I listened to any of the 'helpful' suggestions of a lifelong non-driver with a shaky grip on the highway code and left or right, I'd have lost my licence years ago.

It is counter-productive and makes my driving 500 times worse as I am dreading the next critical comment. I got so sick of it on one journey that I pulled over to the side of the road and explained that if there was one more squeak on the remainder of the journey that I would drop her at the next bus or train station and she could make her own way home and it would be the last time I'd ever drive her anywhere.

Speed camera*

Numberlock Mon 01-Apr-13 23:29:12

But he did kick me out of the car and then when I walked home he'd locked me out and set fire to all my clothes.

Was that supposed to be a joke or what?

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:29:24

Thank you to the posters who agree - mainly because I thought I was going crazy and was a nagging psycho girlfriend haha.

To the posters who disagree - I do agree that backseat drivers are bloody annoying. Whenever I drive my mum anywhere we will fall out because of her constant - Watch out for that car! Stop!! - or just her general wincing. It drives me crazy.

When I warned BF it was more of a reaction, we were approaching it literally about to go by it, could sense he was going fast and it was my instinct to say it.

If he got points it could potentially impact on his job or insurance which would have an effect on both of us.

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:30:52

I should point out that I can and do drive too.

TidyDancer Mon 01-Apr-13 23:31:08

I would probably say as others have suggested and just pointed out that there were cameras.

I can't work out if you're serious about the reaction from DP though....

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 01-Apr-13 23:32:13

SouthernComforts

"You kindly warn your husband he's about to go through a speed limit whilst driving too fast and you're the unreasonable one?"

even the OP says that shge "nagged" him to slow down.

"I was shocked and nagged him until he slowed down"

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:33:20

She has never sat behind the wheel of a car in her life, but it doesn't stop her doing a running critical commentary

But ... I have sat behind the wheel of a car, most days of the week for the last seven years.

I also don't give anyone a running critical commentary. I just warned him that there was a speed camera ahead.

ComposHat Mon 01-Apr-13 23:33:37

But on that specific point OP I don't think you were being unreasonable, I just find constant back seat drivers annoying and dangerous.

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:35:20

Boney I said that in a sarcastic way which is why it isn't in the OP and you totally took what I said out of context.

As what I said was -

That's twisting the story though. I never said we were driving in a 50 zone and bf was going 56! I was shocked and nagged him until he slowed down.

I assumed most people would get that I was being sarcastic ....

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:36:09

Thanks ComposHat and yes I very much agree with your last sentence.

TheDetective Mon 01-Apr-13 23:37:16

Yes Song I understood what you said, and was about to point the same out to Boney.

Booyhoo Mon 01-Apr-13 23:39:37

if my partner had points and more would mean a loss of license or increase in car insurance/fine that would impact the family finances then hell yes i would remind him of cameras.

however i wouldn't be able to tell teh difference between 50 and 56 if i was a passenger in a car. they would feel pretty identical to me without looking at the speedometer.

at 56, if there were no cameras i wouldn't mention it. it's not a dangerous excess like 70 in a 50 so i wouldn't be worried for my safety and wouldn't say. but if there was a chance he would get caught and it would cost the family money then yes i would.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 01-Apr-13 23:39:42

Song

Its always difficult to tell the tone of a post from the written word.

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:42:15

But Boney You only quoted the end part of what I said when I told the other person that they had twisted the story.

You did very much take it out of context. But this is AIBU and anything goes on here I guess.

At least you know now that I was being sarcastic when I said I was shocked and nagged him.

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:43:03

at 56, if there were no cameras i wouldn't mention it.

No in that situation I wouldn't have mentioned it either Booy smile

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 01-Apr-13 23:48:39

Actually Song I left the section out where you contridicted your opening post

"I never said we were driving in a 50 zone and bf was going 56!"

"I could see that he was driving at 56 and the limit is 50"

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 01-Apr-13 23:50:24

All else aside

Is your bf sulking or arsy with you because of it, or has he already frogotten about.

I take it that he picked you up from your night out?

SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 23:52:45

Boney <sigh>

I was responding to this comment -

If someone nagged me for doing 56, in a 50 zone...I wouldn't be driving them again.

Which suggested that we were just driving in a 50 zone and there were no cameras around and I was telling him to slow down just for the sake of it.

When that wasn't the case hence why I said I said

"I never said we were driving in a 50 zone and bf was going 56!"

I wasn't contradicting myself at all.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 01-Apr-13 23:59:14

I'm gonna assume that there is a fairly broad misunderstanding of terminology here and its causing problems with communication.

So I'm gonna step away from the thread and wish you a pleasant night.

MagicHouse Tue 02-Apr-13 00:03:35

I don't think you were unreasonable. Like you say - you assumed quite reasonably that he thought it was a 60 limit. He was unreasonable to snap at you when he WAS actually speeding, and also knew full well that he was.

MoominmammasHandbag Tue 02-Apr-13 00:04:01

Well if I was being driven over the speed limit I would feel perfectly entitled to comment.
DH is an ex rep who used to do lot of miles; he absolutely thrashes the car around, heavy on the accelerator and heavy on the gas. I am a controlling cow very poor passenger and I am quite happy to criticise his driving. He frequently criticises mine as well, we don't fall out about it.

aldiwhore Tue 02-Apr-13 00:04:54

For mentioning it once, to warn of the camera = YANBU.

For mentioning it twice = YABU

56 doesn't actually feel fast though really does it so I suspect you were anticipating him going to fast in the new limit/new camera, which may have sounded a bit smug, which would have annoyed him, which would have annoyed you... YWBBU really, though I understand why you said it.

56 is quite precise though, or has he got a digital speedo? Mine is old school so would have been simply somewhere vaguely around 55 at 56pmh.

EllenParsons Tue 02-Apr-13 00:06:32

Yabu

StuntGirl Tue 02-Apr-13 00:07:49

I would quite happily comment on someone's driving if it was dangerous. Speeding is dangerous. And I can't even drive. Guess what? I don't give a shit. I'd like to live, not die in a fiery ball of flame when the driver crashes thankyouverymuch.

There are certain people I won't get in a car with any more thanks to their atrocious driving.

BenderLovableRobot Tue 02-Apr-13 00:15:01

I really would love to start a thread saying -

My DH was driving and there was a speed camera coming up which he might not have known about. I could see he was speeding but rather than warn him I just smiled to myself thinking of all those lovely points he might get.

MysteriousHamster Tue 02-Apr-13 00:18:05

YANBU, I drive and would tell my husband and would appreciate him warning me.

SongoftheSiren Tue 02-Apr-13 00:23:39

56 is quite precise though, or has he got a digital speedo?

We have a new car and the speed shows up on a large digital display. Perhaps I should have mentioned that in my OP.

I'm a novice driver. 6 months after passing my test, I've started getting a bit complacent and have found myself having to brake in a hurry because I'm driving a bit too fast. I'm horrified by the number of posters here who not only seem to think it's absolutely fine and/or normal to break the speed limit, but also believe it's totally unreasonable for a passenger to even point out to the driver that they are speeding. Is this how most people REALLY drive? I'm the only driver in the family and have very little experience of being a car passenger either.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 02-Apr-13 01:38:47

Mentioning it once yanbu more than once then yep yabu.

But that's just me and I'm fairly well known for leaving passengers at the side of the road for making comments or touching my buttons. Ok I admit I did it to my mother once after she started gabbing hold of the seat wincing and saying look out you nearly hit that car. In my defence I was stopped at a junction in a residential area the nearest car to me was a good 30 yards away and she had more than annoyed me that day.

Rindercella Tue 02-Apr-13 01:48:57

I'd just take the points for him OP

《legs it》

SailToMe Tue 02-Apr-13 15:17:52

I'm surprised some people would not say anything.

Especially surprised at this comment -

If my dh did this to me I would be fantasising painful and humiliating punishments for him for the rest of the evening.

I'm honestly worried that you have problems after reading that.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Tue 02-Apr-13 15:23:39

I'm really baffled by the responses you've gotten, OP. Your bf was speeding well above the limit. YWNBU at all to tell him to slow down.

I cannot abide irresponsible drivers at all.

squeakytoy Tue 02-Apr-13 15:25:10

"I would quite happily comment on someone's driving if it was dangerous. Speeding is dangerous."

Speeding in built up areas can be dangerous. Speeding at an amount way above the speed limit can be dangerous.

Going at a couple of miles per hour above the speed limit, on a long stretch of road is not dangerous. Nor is it likely to trigger a camera either as the slightest touch off the pedal would have brought the speed to within the legal limit, without needing to use the brakes.

ENormaSnob Tue 02-Apr-13 15:27:02

Presuming the fine would come out of family money I would've said something too.

If he ignored me and got caught then that's his problem but I would be pissed off at the financial impact.

Pendeen Tue 02-Apr-13 16:25:30

A gentle reminder of the limit would have been OK.

But some of the comments above, e.g. "Speeding is dangerous. And I can't even drive. " are, frankly rather silly when discussing 56 (probably a genuine 53-54) in a 50.

Chocovore Tue 02-Apr-13 16:31:48

How do you know he was doing 56mph? From your position in the passenger seat you were presumably looking at the speedo from an angle. From head on, he was probably doing less.

sarahtigh Tue 02-Apr-13 16:46:22

speedometers legally have to be accurate or overestimate most read at least 3 miles above actual speed you are doing so it is likely your DH was really doing 53 or 54

it may have been your tone that annoyed him so much, I would have said something more like " lots of people get caught out here as they are really hot for speeding on this stretch"

police speed cameras are often on long straight stretches where not that dangerous rather than on bends blind summits etc,

though speeding is not good, a lot of it is revenue raising, I know traffic police that admit that this is the objective in some places

obviously OP could read speedometer but it has been found through various scientific experiments that adults on average can tell differences in car speeds at about +/- 9mph; 6mph would be possible but very good

children however are very poor judges of speed and can not really tell anything except very very obvious about 20mph faster slower, hence children attempting to cross road when not enough time as they cannot really tell whether approaching car is going 25 or 40mph

it is very unlikely but not impossible to be prosecuted for a very minimal infringement most allow 10%

NomDeOrdinateur Tue 02-Apr-13 17:09:38

YADNBU, and I think you're getting an unfairly hard time on this thread - some people are ridiculously defensive of their "right" to break the law just because they're behind the wheel of a car...

I'm always grateful when DH drives, but I'm not going to put up and shut up if he's driving in a way that's unsafe or likely to incur fines. He's not doing me a favour by driving if he's putting our finances and/or safety at risk.

As long as you're appreciative, polite and careful to keep warnings to an absolute minimum (e.g. traffic light/speed cameras nearby, or you've noticed a serious hazard that the driver doesn't seem to be aware of) then I honestly don't see the problem, provided that you're prepared to be on the receiving end of similar "helpful observations" yourself.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 02-Apr-13 17:20:55

How strange

YANBU

His defensive attitude suggests he's chippy about his driving.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 02-Apr-13 17:37:58

Nom,

If your in a car with a driver who is that unaware then they should not be driving nor should you be a passenger.

CurlyKiwiControl Tue 02-Apr-13 17:39:35

Yanbu.
If its 50 you drive at fucking 50 arrrrrgh. Not 56. Okay people.
Its not fucking difficult.
If its 40 you drive at fucking 40. Not 44.
Its not fucking difficult.
and so on ... You get the picture.

fluckered Tue 02-Apr-13 17:42:29

i think his OT reaction is due to a woman criticising his driving in front of another woman. its a man thing! dont think ywbu but i also hate back seat drivers. OP do you think he would have said that if you were alone?

fluckered Tue 02-Apr-13 17:43:13

Curly are you honestly telling me you have never driven over the speed limit?

ParadiseChick Tue 02-Apr-13 17:43:32

Ha in years gone by my friends and I would take a photo, using the flash, in the back of taxis to make the drivers think they'd been snapped!!

CurlyKiwiControl Tue 02-Apr-13 17:48:34

fluckered certainly not intentionally. And I certainly would not need someone to nag me to slow down if was speeding and hadn't realised. But like I say its not really that fucking difficult is it to be aware of speed limits - the big signs usually help there, and if you can't control your speed you should not be driving.
And no I don't care for any excuses neither does my dead family memeber.

CurlyKiwiControl Tue 02-Apr-13 17:51:45

Boils my piss.
I suppose all those that speed are good drivers. Oh they would never have an accident would they.
They can stop just like that <click of fingers>
They are such good drivers they can defy the law of the land and the law of physics.

WMittens Tue 02-Apr-13 17:54:05

He was a bit rude, but you were a little annoying - it's about 50/50 I'd say.

And anyone saying 56 in a 50 zone is dangerous - are you the bunch of bastards in front of me never going over 50 in 60 zones "because it's dangerous"? The people doing 45 in NSL that continue doing 45 through a small village with blind bends and parked cars on either side. I'd bet my bottom dollar that you think you're safe because you're "under the limit" and completely failing to assess the conditions around you.

You might be shocked by the teachings of police ADIs and Institute of Advanced Motorists mentors.

WMittens Tue 02-Apr-13 17:55:55

CurlyKiwiControl

No one said anything about defying the laws of physics, but I'd like to see you demonstrate your understanding of the laws of physics to see if you actually know what you're talking about. Try pressing the brake pedal to the floor sometime and seeing just how quickly you can come to a stop when you need to. You might learn something about grip and traction, too.

TheDetective Tue 02-Apr-13 17:57:49

I would never go faster than felt safe. Whatever the speed limit. That's the point.

Again. It is a limit, not a target.

Why would you go at 60mph just to appease other drivers if it did not feel safe to do so? I think most people would do that. Unless they were total reckless dickheads.

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 17:58:40

I would tell my DH the same, and he would point the same thing out to me. Fortunately we are both adult enough and have sufficiently thick skins to withstand this onslaught on our driving prowess. We've even managed to stay together for almost 20 years, despite this.

FFS, there are some VERY sensitive people out there.

TheDetective Tue 02-Apr-13 17:59:24

I had to do an emergency brake once. It caused a crash. Kid ran out on the road. I was doing 30mph in a 30mph. Dick behind was coming up at a lot faster speed. I stopped safely. He did not. He clearly couldn't stop quickly when he needed to.

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 18:03:21

Anyone who thinks they can stop a car like that <clicks fingers> is an arse.

Seriously.

Try taking a look at typical stopping distances

RockingTheBoat Tue 02-Apr-13 18:03:27

have sufficiently thick skins to withstand this onslaught on our driving prowess.

That's a really good point actually.

Someone isn't pointing it out to be critical - they are doing it as a favour to you.

And some people would plan revenge against them for that hmm odd.

CurlyKiwiControl Tue 02-Apr-13 18:04:37

I don't need to thanks wmittens

Seen it first hand how long a car needs to stop before ploughing into my 15 year old cousin killing him instantly.

Lived with the consequences long enough.

I agree with you for what its worth about doing 45 on a nsl road and continuing to do 45 through a villiage. I'm aware of speed limits if it was 60 I would drive at 60 - conditions permitting of course.

So less of your sarcasm thanks.

Oh and if the speed limit is 50, you drive at drive at 50. Its not fucking difficult.

You are not above the law, or are you? In that case I bow down to your supieriarity, you must be one of those good drivers I was talking about.

AdmiralData Tue 02-Apr-13 18:07:04

YANBU - he could have listened and slowed down the first time you told him.

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 18:11:37

Exactly Rocking - because we work as a couple we both help each other avoid fines and points. If we didn't, the family unit would suffer financially or worse if one if one of us lost our licence.

Not that we do speed, because we are not arses.

TeddyBare Tue 02-Apr-13 18:11:42

YANBU he shouldn't have been speeding. Speed limits are set for a reason and they apply to everyone all the time.

Vicky2011 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:44:26

Such odd responses to the OP - and I would never claim to be a perfect driver and have bad points in the past. DH and I always warn each other if there is a camera coming up...in fact I think we warn about the camera without even checking the speed. We also warn each other if the speed limit is something that we think isn't "expected" - like an unfamilar bit of road which is dual carriageway but actually a 40, surely that's being helpful confused It's not in either of our interests for one of us to have points.

WMittens Tue 02-Apr-13 19:19:23

SirChenjin

Can you tell me when those 'typical' stopping distances were set?

Stopping distance from 70mph was tested in 2008 in a Mazda 2 with one person in the car came out at 25m; your link suggests 75m.

Have a look at what else is being developed: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ridS396W2BY

Drive to conditions, meaning at a speed that you can stop within the distance you can see, accounting for surroundings and grip conditions. Not difficult.

mybelovedmonster Tue 02-Apr-13 19:37:22

Ooohh is that why people think it's OK to drive right up yer arse at 70mph? wink

SmilingCrocodile Tue 02-Apr-13 19:54:31

Someone isn't pointing it out to be critical - they are doing it as a favour to you

That's very true.

It's like wearing a new dress and your DH says "Why are you wearing that dress? It looks ridiculous on you"

Therefore just being critical for the sake for it.

Or wearing a new dress and your DH says "Why are you wearing that dress? It's got a huge rip on the back"

You might already be aware that there is a rip in your dress, but regardless he is going to point it out to you as a favour to you.

Floggingmolly Tue 02-Apr-13 20:01:36

Does he really think he just has to maintain an average speed of 50, in a 50mph zone? hmm

SmilingCrocodile Tue 02-Apr-13 20:06:13

Does he really think he just has to maintain an average speed of 50, in a 50mph zone?

I would lower my speed to 50 if I knew there were speed cameras. Why risk it?

YANBU. You were being helpful and he shouldn't have been speeding.

FarBetterNow Tue 02-Apr-13 20:16:33

YANBU.
I always think it is amazing the amount of people who consider themselves to be 100% law abiding, but are quite happy to deliberately drive faster than the speed limits every day.

Why are they any different to other law breakers - commonly known as criminals.

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 20:32:42

WMittens - 2013. You can link to it from UK Gov here

WMittens Tue 02-Apr-13 21:13:31

SirChenjin

Hahahahaha, ah damn! I didn't mean when were they published, I meant when were those distances 'calculated'? 2013! Oh my days.

Those published stopping distances were described in the 1960s, based on a Ford Anglia with crossply tyres and drum brakes.

Things have moved on since then

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 21:32:24

Do you use Youtube as all your reference sources WMittens?!

I take it you've already emailed the Govt and pointed out their error? Excellent! I look forward to seeing their website updated tomorrow with links to - Top Gear!!

Hahahahahahahaahha!!!!!!

LadyVoldemort Tue 02-Apr-13 21:32:29

Why are you being such a dick WMittens?

Just drive at the speed limit FGS, why risk it? Because it won't happen to you?

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 21:35:57

Oh don't take him seriously LadyV - it's the Easter holidays, and the children deserve a bit of fun with Youtube grin

yanbu

Dh and i both drive, infact me more than him, so if i know there are cameras i will glance at the speedo and say "its only 50/40/30 down here, watch for the cameras" and he does to me too

your partner is an arsehole if he took the hump.

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