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To think that Facebook really exposes those people who have narcissistic tendencies?

(85 Posts)
CelticPixie Mon 01-Apr-13 19:24:18

For the record, I like Facebook. I like how it allows me to keep in touch with friends and relatives who live a long way from me. What I don't like is how certain people ( and it is always the same people) seem to use it as means of feeding their narcissism. I rarely update my status unless I have something to say, and then its usually something light hearted. I know for a fact that no one else would give a shit if I was "Pissed off" or if I'd "just had egg and chips for tea" or if I was going to have a "lovely night out with the girls". I never, ever respond to status' like this because I feel I'd just be reinforcing these people's deluded sense of how important and interesting they are when they are nothing of the sort.

Sometimes I just want to reply saying something of the lines of "who gives a shit?" And the worrying thing is its usually the people I've always liked a lot and got on with in real life saying this stuff?

AIBU to think that they are just narcs?

ssd Mon 01-Apr-13 19:26:30

not narcs, arseholes

aldiwhore Mon 01-Apr-13 19:27:09

Does it matter? YANBU, but you're boundaries of narcs and mine would be different, seeing as I update my status a lot because it amuses me.

I do think there are people who are twats whether they're in RL or online.

Begrudgingly, YANBU.

(But you don't get a badge for only updating your status ocassionally, and by your own admission of 'keeping in lightheated' leads me to think you're a bit of a closet narc/entertainer too... always be careful when you judge)

smile <<<< genuine not pass/agg!!

Pandemoniaa Mon 01-Apr-13 19:35:43

YANB entirely U. I spent part of a very cheery afternoon with friends on Saturday when we discussed precisely how readily FB enables those who prefer to fire attention seeking missiles. However, it isn't the volume of status updates that these people are defined by, it is the content and, in particular, the stream of passive aggressive/horrifyingly intimate/ridiculously enigmatic statements that they insist on sharing.

I'm not sure that I'd necessarily credit these people with narcissistic tendencies though, more that they have seized upon social media as the perfect stage for their twattish streams of consciousness.

CelticPixie Mon 01-Apr-13 19:39:46

Aldi I don't mind people updating their status a lot. One of my friends is a huge football fan and is alway talking about her favourite team which doesn't bother me at all really. What annoys me is the ones who update several times a day posting the most mundane shit imaginable, and then there are the attention seekers who will post something like "my life sucks" and sit back and watch all their mates reply asking "what's wrong" etc.

ToysRLuv Mon 01-Apr-13 19:40:48

I would say YANBU, but I don't really use fb for much these days. Makes me think that many of these people (who go to extremes with this kind of thing) are seeking external validation rather than being pure narcissists. But then again I might be just (unconsciously) jealous of their lovely meals and trips and (clearly staged for photos) perfect family lives. I think I'm not.

currentbuns Mon 01-Apr-13 19:42:23

I'd say it tends to bring the uncharitable and judgemental out of the woodwork, too... <wanders off whistling>

TheCraicDealer Mon 01-Apr-13 19:46:10

But then again I might be just (unconsciously) jealous of their lovely meals and trips and (clearly staged for photos) perfect family lives.

I openly admit I feel this about some of my friends on Facebook. When I see my best chum post about more nights out in Sydney or her holiday to Fiji I have to remind myself about her latest email when she told me about her food poisoning or the fact that the roof above her bedroom is leaking and she has to sleep holding a bucket.

Lottashakingoinon Mon 01-Apr-13 19:46:36

But surely what you consider to be lighthearted may be 'egg and chips' to someone else?

I think FB has the potential for serious harm but I honestly don't think the examples you give demonstrate that> FWIW I don't respond to 'nights out with the girls' type of statuses as I assume they are only aimed at the girls who went (and as such a bit pointless) but they don't piss me off either.

Tryharder Mon 01-Apr-13 19:47:59

Most of my friends post either nothing or very little and so I quite like reading all the statuses and gossip from the 3 or 4 of my 'friends' that spend all their time on FB.

<shallow>

So on the balance of probabilities, I would say YABU!

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Mon 01-Apr-13 19:49:38

Ah, well you see I think you are being a bit U as I update my status a few times a week, also in a lighthearted manner. I always feel that those who don't update are just using FB to spy/keep an eye on what others are doing without sharing any of their life.
If someone is annoying I delete or block updates. People can do that to me as well, I don't mind.

randomtask Mon 01-Apr-13 19:50:16

What I don't get is people who put photos of presents/flowers/meals from their DP. I don't know why anyone should want to know or care about such things or really personal details. DH & I have occasionally joked that it is 'look he's not that bad really' & that we should put a picture of our bed after a particularly good evening. grin

usualsuspect Mon 01-Apr-13 19:51:58

What I don't get is the endless fucking moaning about FB on MN.

Simontowers1 Mon 01-Apr-13 19:55:20

YANBU. What I find flabbergasting is how so many people use FB basically to show off. I'm 39 now and when I was younger I'm sure I remember people being a bit more modest and self deprecating. I simply can't imagine a mindset that wants to boast to their friends about their latest holiday/new partner/the fact that their 18 month old did a shit on their potty etc. Have some modesty, humility people, please.

VelvetSpoon Mon 01-Apr-13 19:55:32

YANB entirely U.

I think general status updates are fine, I update my status quite often.

But I do know one or two people who are complete narcissistic attention seekers, and constantly either post 'Oh I'm so miserable' stuff inviting comment or post after post about their latest boyfriend/girlfriend, how wonderful they are, how they complete their life etc (normally about a week into the 'relationship').

My particular favourite are an ex-couple I know, both now with new partners (of a few weeks duration). Each has over the course of this weekend posted photos of the lovely gifts they bought by new partner/bought for them, exciting things they have done etc, lots of 'I love you, you're the best's etc, clearly all meant by the Exs as a dig at each other. It would be amusing if it wasn't quite so sad.

Hear hear usual. I thought it was just me that that had the FB arse today.

ChairmanWow Mon 01-Apr-13 20:01:53

YABU. I am a massive narc and for that reason would never update my FB status with anything so utterly tedious.

aquashiv Mon 01-Apr-13 20:03:04

I do miss the early days though when folks would steam in on arguments and say what they really thought no really thinking that it would be up there for all to see. Conversely I really liked when people did update it was nice and genuinely interesting to still have the banter with people that live hundreds of miles away. I dont update only when drunk and its usually the utterings of a disturbed mind.
Its all far too controlled now as everyone is worried of what people are thinking.
Long live the narcs without thier drama where would we be. (Have nothing to moan about either).
Its not real life its facebook.

aldiwhore Mon 01-Apr-13 20:10:17

I think it also depends on what you like to see. I have some lovely friends who post endless pictures of the dinner proudly, all I see is some weird MUSH I'd send back if I were served it in a restaurant... I don't 'get' it at all, but I don't begrudge the person posting it, I can always hide them (yet don't, because perhaps I like the fact that their amazing food looks like shit and mine doesn't but I feel no need to photograph it wink)

There are a lot of FML statuses, and though they're tedious, they're often posted by people who are actually genuinely unhappy. I don't think that seeking attention is a sin, if attention is what you are lacking, it's still up to me if Igive it or not (usually not for the repeat offenders, always for those to do it rarely as I know there must be something actually up).

The evasive statuses annoy me more than anything "I'm so happy!", "I'm so fucking pissed off right now", "If 'she' thinks she can get away with it, she's wrong" - I mean please I'm not ON FB because I'm not nosey, I'm not reading my newsfeed because I don't want to know what's going on, but I am not going to play the guessing game!! Grr.

However, it's all in my power to ignore, hide, mock privately to myself as I read, pretend I didn't see.

So maybe YABU in that you seem to be asking a question (AIBU?) but YANBU to find people annoying in general. (Football updates make me want to reach through the screen and puncture every ball ever made, but that wouldn't be very nice).

Willdoitinaminute Mon 01-Apr-13 21:42:55

YANBU your observation has just confirmed what I suspected of one FB acquaintance. I always wondered why she ever sent me a friend request. Her status changing is one long parade of 'look at me' photos and statements. Very entertaining but oddly very sad.

CorruptWalnut Mon 01-Apr-13 21:58:54

Just youtube/google Dan Bull Facebook rap

MiniEggsJumpedInMyBasket Tue 02-Apr-13 00:35:42

I think I have many types of irritating friends on FB! I have the:

Friend who posts lots of drama about their life and airs their dirty laundry on there. Has an army of fans and supporters to offer hugs and sympathy

Bragger friend; "Look at my new Ipad" "Aren't I a lucky girl getting this new Gucci bag" "Love my perfect little life,I have the best husband and kids ever"

Evasive friend (is also bragger friend as detailed above); lots of cryptic statuses

and many more!

It gets right on my tits, but truth is I am a nosey cow and although I don't go on FB much I can't bring myself to deactivate my account in case I want to snoop. I rarely reply to anyone on there though.

MsBella Tue 02-Apr-13 00:50:39

Hmmm yab a bit u in my opinion, there are people who are interested in these things and also the status thing does (or did?) Say 'whats on your mind' and that is what these people are saying in their statuses so I see no problem with that

If I get a nice present I will put it on my status when I can be bothere, if I'm excited for something and in the past I've done some really pissed off statuses because I needed to vent and had nowhere else to do it, also because I have a phone with facebook and its easy to just sit there with phone in hand tapping in an angry status (and then deleted it later)

I don't think its always 'for' other people to read and I don't think its because they think everyones interested, its just a way of expressing some of your thoughts

Tortington Tue 02-Apr-13 00:53:01

oh yes indeed. when i was recovering from whooping cough/ real flu nurse reckons it could hae been pluracy ( i was really ill ) and i didn't feel like i was getting enough sympathy, i turned to facebook - who were very obliging in making me feel better

i always try to post happy birthdays becuase its nowt to me to just do it - but it can mean a lot to somene else who might not have a lot of cards

PariahHairy Tue 02-Apr-13 01:08:07

Narc or narcissistic is the current buzz word, being a bit vain or boasty doesn't really qualify tbh. About 90% of the internet would qualify as narcissistic if facebook was a qualifier.

I have had the usual "child in front of a table full of tat/chocolate" posts but you know, meh.

It's the same every holiday, ooh look at how much my child/me has. I'm just meh about it all tbh, I'm not sucked in to the whole consumerist competition thing.

My kids got 2 eggs, I'm fine with that, I told them firmly that the easter bunny was not real, not being sucked into that one, stressful enough with the father christmas shite.

I haven't bought them any toys or clothes, we are not christians, if they want easter shit, they can at least go to church for the penance.

justaboutalittlefrazzled Tue 02-Apr-13 01:08:57

I have lots of lovely friends on FB who post interesting things about their lives.

Is there some other FB I am missing?

SneezingwakestheJesus Tue 02-Apr-13 01:47:57

randomtask, my stepbrother's wife posted pics of the bed strewn with rose petals in valentines day followed later by a picture of them both tucked up in bed, clearly naked (covered just enough with sheet though) and sweaty. That was the day I decided to hide her posts <vomits>

ArtVandelay Tue 02-Apr-13 08:10:29

Sneezing! That is horrific!

OP I think you are being U and also your definition of narcisisstic is wrong. Your "lighthearted" posts might be annoying others, think about that!

If you have all these fixed ideas about what constitutes correct and wrong FB behaviour then maybe its not for you. Not worth getting upset about - its supposed to be fun.

CelticPixie Tue 02-Apr-13 09:58:48

One of my other bugbears is people who announce that they are having a "friends clear out". Why do you need to tell everyone that you are doing that? I'd just do it because most people would be none the wiser. I think people who do that want you to beg for their friendship. Quite recently a girl who I was at school with and who is one of the worst attention seekers on FB did just that, so I posted my own update a few minutes later saying:

"Why do some people feel the need to tell everyone that they are having a friends clear out? Just do it and stop looking for attention"

I got a lot of likes for that comment so clearly most people feel the same, but I was almost immediately unfriended by said girl. Not that I care, she was an annoying gobshite anyway.

My friends are usually very sensible, but recently a group of them went abroad and had (what looked like) an amazing holiday - all very lovely, i enjoyed mooching through the pictures, catching up with gossip etc - except they went away with the younger sister of one of our friends - she is doing my damn head in! Before they went we had all 6 of them tagged in count down status' daily then hourly then airports etc, she then spent the whole 2 weeks checking them into every place they visited and since their return has posted at least twice daily about them all + she keeps re-posting the photos with everyone tagged ... This is a group of my good friends so its not like i can just block the updates! All of them have mentioned how annoyed she is making them, she is 23 ffs so not even a teenAger! Its just ridiculous!

Rant over ha ha

maddening Tue 02-Apr-13 10:50:45

I think Facebook reveals lots about some people - as a social tool it is fab for discovering people for what they are.

saycheeeeeese Tue 02-Apr-13 11:01:36

It's the profile photos that crack me up, they are clearly taking the photo themselves but try to make it look unstaged. My best friend does this, winds me up but she is a very narcissistic person so I think it's probably normal for her. she also takes photos of her fake nails which baffles me
However I agree with the pp who said that people who just use FB as a way to spy and don't contribute are actually worse than those who use it as a diary.

uncongenial Tue 02-Apr-13 11:01:39

'Narc' is bandied around far too frequently and casually for my liking these days. From that point of view yabu
I don't have people like this on Facebook, I deleted or hid them as soon as I discovered any tendencies I found irritating. You should do similar.

uncongenial Tue 02-Apr-13 11:02:40

Responding to status updates, with a passive aggressive one of your own, is rather childish.

SneezingwakestheJesus Tue 02-Apr-13 11:04:06

I have one that niggles me every time I see it. Someone who always posts pretty casual statuses and then they'll post something like "would like to congratulate so-and-so on the birth of their child/their marriage/their new job". Why not, erm, just congratulate them then?! Its the "would like to" that's gets me every time. Nearly as niggling is when people post birth announcements worded the same way "would like to announce the birth of". Its the "would like to" again. Its like they are a celebrity giving a press release or something!

ilikemysleep Tue 02-Apr-13 11:04:46

Oh yes. I have one friend who constantly posts semi-naked pictures of herself, pictures of her looking sultry, pictures in her new 'fuck-me' boots- yesterday was pic in the new bikini. All taken by herself. I think she is either a narcissist or very lacking in self esteem and seeking external validation. I don't need to see a 2 min video of a '40 something' woman wiggling while putting on her lipstick, taken herself. I have another friend who only updates with how sick he is at the minute. I find it very interesting...

lovetomoan Tue 02-Apr-13 14:12:33

We all have those friends. One only updates about how bad she feels and every time she's got a cold/flu/headache, nothing serious.

And the friend who has cancer is the one who does not complain and even whilst ill herself is doing things to collect money for other people who have cancer (they don't live in the UK).

Just shows.

YABU, each to their own, we all have different personalities and you are incorrect to describe anyone as being a “Narc” based on how they use a social media site. I hate the light hearted stuff, but enjoying seeing the photos of my friends and their updates when out. It is an easy way of keeping everyone informed and up to date. Get rid of your jealously and try being happy for people that you profess to like (otherwise de-friend). I usually in box someone who posts that they are having a shit day, but so what if others don't and it stops the feelings of isolation.

YANBU at all. I left Facebook due to the totally over the top status updates bragging about this that and the other. It was all really fake posturing from a few people I know trying to portray themselves as something they really weren't if you actually knew them. And soliciting adoration from their 'friends' in a cringeworthy 'You go girl!!!' style.

I am obviously a complete bitch though.

MintyyAeroEgg Tue 02-Apr-13 14:43:21

As a relatively new and infrequent user of Facebook, I agree that it is an eye-opener but what it reveals to me about the people who post those irritating statuses generally isn't a surprise. I tend to find that the people who I thought might be a little bit arseholish in some respects actually ARE and that is funny.

I hide everything from the over-sharers as I just don't have the time or interest to look at them all but don't want to get into trouble for de-friending people as I hadn't realised what a no-no that seems to be.

I am bemused by the people who have, say, 200 friends but, when wanting to make social arrangements with a handful of them, will put it as a status update rather than sending private messages. What's that all about then?

MintyyAeroEgg Tue 02-Apr-13 14:45:12

"I think Facebook reveals lots about some people - as a social tool it is fab for discovering people for what they are."

Couldn't agree more, Maddening.

Maat Tue 02-Apr-13 14:51:16

I have a FB account to keep in touch with family/friends, but rarely post.

It doesn't bother me how much / how little information others put on there, I can easily ignore.

One thing I have found though is, when I meet up socially with people who are always updating FB, I haven't really got anything to chat to them about because I know practically everything that they have been up to since we last met.

For example. if they had been on holiday I would usually ask how their holiday was but I find that I don't need to as I had a minute by minute account of every where they went, what they ate etc. on facebook.

Does anybody else find this?

TheRealFellatio Tue 02-Apr-13 14:52:46

Calling them all Narcs might be a bit strong, but overall I would say YANBU at all and I completely agree with you.

TheRealFellatio Tue 02-Apr-13 14:53:46

And I also agree with Maddening. It's fascinating actually.

Ponyinthepool Tue 02-Apr-13 14:56:34

YANBU and I think it can be very harmful. Just like airbrushed size 0 models in fashion magazines, it paints a fake picture of how great everyone else's lives are and leaves us feeling inadequate. Even though I try to remind myself of this, and see it for the blatant attention-seeking that it is, a visit to Facebook more often than not leaves me feeling flat. It's definitely losing its appeal.

somewhereaclockisticking Tue 02-Apr-13 14:57:26

I only put on FB if I go out with someone because all my friends do it and I'm fed up of reading about their very happy/busy lives and I'm rather dull usually so it's a case of "hey yes look - I went out!" kind of way a;though I have alot of friends who constantly brag about their kids so I've now gotten into the habit of mentioning every positive thing I can about the kids. I am sick of pictures of what people are about to eat or the "just chillin with a bottle of wine" types of comments because it's not even news.

glossyflower Tue 02-Apr-13 14:58:06

FB was the bane of my life...I found if I made a comment people take it the wrong way etc and jump on my back. I got pissed off with emo type statuses like "no one gives a shit about me" etc.
I left twice only to rejoin months later as I found it is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family from afar. So now I'm on it but rarely use it.

glossyflower Tue 02-Apr-13 14:59:06

And yes it's bloody annoying people use it to show off how bloody fab their lives are.

Ponyinthepool Tue 02-Apr-13 15:03:41

PS far and away the most hideously transparent attention-seeking thing on facebook is the check-in feature. It truly makes me stabby.

motherhen1949 Tue 02-Apr-13 15:05:08

Yes you are correct my mates sister is constantly posting about her happy family how much she loves her man yada yayda she post on average 5 times a day however in reality my mate informs me they have awful rows hes a git and spend hardly any time with themconfused

I take facebook post with a pinch of salt

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 15:06:46

I spend my life posting bragging shit on FB, I thought that was the point .

Luckily my friends comment on my mundane shit before updating their mundane shit, which in turn I will comment on.

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 15:11:09

In fact is that not what we are all doing on MN. Posting mundane shit, reading the mundane shit of others and then commenting in it .

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Tue 02-Apr-13 15:15:57

FB is free PR. If you don't use it to promote yourself in a good light, you're missing a trick. But, people who write "my life is perfect" are not portraying themselves in a good light. They are not, however, as bad as the attention seeking missiles/ "my life is shit" brigade who everyone loathes and despises.

I think the perfect status is either a link to a genuinely good article/ website like "parenting with crappy pictures" (not a boring intellectual one you want people to think you read, but really you didn't) or something amusing but lightly self-deprecating.

ONLY mention your kids when they've done something naughty. "So proud of Jocasta who got 100% in her spelling test and then saved a puppy from drowning" is only slightly less nauseating than the "Today I asked Charlie if he wanted some chocolate, and he said "only if it's organic fair trade, mummy". bless".

PS I now have "600 million people like me like this. Are you taking the piss?" going round in my head

motherhen1949 Tue 02-Apr-13 15:28:15

Arisbottle expect i dont post pi tures of my frigging cake from costa coffie

Who gives a fuck we all know what cake looks like i dont need to see a picture

Its destroyed so many people i once witnessed a arugument unfold between to dear mates of mine plus some randoms they havent spoke since

Also i have to delete a friends oh for making a rascist slur and the thing that was worse is serval people i know actally joined in with similar comments i think people forget this is a open forum

And dont get me started who thought they were being funny only to be sacked due to pictures posted or comments made about bosses or cliants

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 15:33:27

But your problem mother hen is your daft friends not FB.

I liked a cake in a cafe photo this morning. I love a cake photo and like to see my friends having fun or relaxing in the holidays .

I think my problem is that I just cannot imagine ever wanting to share with the world that I've just had a cake / bought a fabulous nail varnish / am so proud that my child finished a jigsaw. I mean, who gives a shit about any of this other than me? The rise of social media is great in many ways but it also allows people to become stars in their own dramas and maybe that's not always a good thing when you find yourself in the audience.

Also agree that the people you always knew were arseholes are the ones who turn out to be the worst offenders.

motherhen1949 Tue 02-Apr-13 15:38:33

Arisbottle

Well i guess we all have diffrent views i just think its a bit self asborbed i hardly have any oictures of my ds up there i also would never talk about mine and oh relationship on fb

And i just think apart from a few tribes in the amazon we all know what cake from costa looks like

Mother2many Tue 02-Apr-13 15:38:58

OP:

I agree. Come check out some of my fb friends. Million pictures of themselves, changing their profile different everyday... "Yep, you've changed soo much today ~ wow, another GREAT picture of you!" grin

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 15:41:59

I love starring in my own rosé tinted drama. grin

When my friend posted her cake this morning she was not posting a picture of a cake because I had not seen one before but she was saying, after a hectic term and running round entertaining over the bank holiday she is now relaxing . I like my friend and therefore am pleased for her.

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 15:44:00

My Facebook is filled with pictures of my children and our pets . I sometimes post if my DH is being especially wonderful.

I am happy to admit that I am dreadfully common and a show off.

Crawling Tue 02-Apr-13 15:45:57

What bugs me is this status:
Status writer: Im well pissed off and angry cant believe Whats happened.

Responder: Whats up hun

Status writer: Il pm you now.

I mean Whats the point of posting it on fb if you only want a few people to know. But I am nosey.

Kikithecat Tue 02-Apr-13 15:49:17

You could always comment with this link OP.

tethersend Tue 02-Apr-13 15:53:55

I'm struggling to see how any of this affects me.

lougle Tue 02-Apr-13 15:59:48

tethersend grin

I disagree with you, OP. The most (genuinely) narc person I know has a whole other persona on FB. You wouldn't be able to pick out their true behaviour and attitudes from their FB posts, so much that sometimes I wonder if we were in the same room as each other during the incident they post about.

In fact, one of the key features of NPD is the ability to put on a social veneer which hides the true nature of the person.

YWBU if you suggested that FB reveals how self-absorbed people can be though.

I find it baffling, tbh. I can't even muster the enthusiasm to post about my egg on toast, etc.

Pandemoniaa Tue 02-Apr-13 16:19:29

I love a cake status.

ChairmanWow Tue 02-Apr-13 16:35:44

Surely nothing is as narc as posting a photo of your kids holding a sign which says 'If we get a million likes mummy and daddy will buy us a puppy'. Yuck. I like to imagine them only getting 999,999 likes. 'Sorry darling but mummy did say it has to be a million'

Spookyville Tue 02-Apr-13 16:45:20

I thought POF et al was were Narcs hung out for their latest victims? Most charming, handsome and amazing man who has the clothes, job, car and OCD tendencies!

CelticPixie Tue 02-Apr-13 18:14:15

Regarding the "I love my perfect hubby" type of updates. I was friends with someone like that, always saying how wonderful her OH was and how happy they were and then he went and ran off with someone else.

ssd Tue 02-Apr-13 18:59:06

smirk thats a shame

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 19:05:21

Why would you smirk at someone's husband leaving?

ssd Tue 02-Apr-13 19:06:53

cos I felt like it

Arisbottle Tue 02-Apr-13 19:08:08

You sound lovely, would you like to be my FB friend . I do endless twee updates and post pictures of my pets, chickens , knitting , baking or children .

ssd Tue 02-Apr-13 19:10:36

lets do it

OhLori Tue 02-Apr-13 19:11:47

True Narcissists and silly boastful people are at very different places on the continuum.

Narcs live in hell actually, whatever The Great I Am facade they wish to present. They would also like to drag everyone else into hell with them.

Sorry, no insights into Facebook, don't know anything about it!

formicaqueen Tue 02-Apr-13 21:01:11

The most annoying FB friends/relatives are ones who say 'my hubby Jasper is the most handsome amazing man in the world'. And yet Jasper will probably be sat next to wife as she writes the post. Seems insecure to me. However I love pictures of cakes people have made or proper news.

SneezingwakestheJesus Tue 02-Apr-13 21:14:17

Yes, Formica! I like it when you get
"My hubby is the best ever I love my lil family"
And then a comment a second later
"Aww me and little man love you too babe xxx"

And you just know they are both sat there together and she's gone LOOK AT MY STATUS. Why don't they just tell each other? Oh I know why because no one would witness and "like" it. I'd love someone to write a book about the psychology of Facebook.

shockers Tue 02-Apr-13 21:32:24

I love/hate fb.

I love that I can put pictures of whatever we're doing on there and I can look at them with DD when we get home. I love that my far away friends and relatives seem closer... I can see the view my dearest friend can see (in Perth) within seconds.

I hate finding out that people I held dear are racist, or benefit bashers.

But, as I have pledged never to write anything negative on there, I'm really not bothered if anyone gets annoyed by my updates. They are a diary for me!

I have also been told by lots of people in our small town (face to face, not by 'like'), that they enjoy my morning photos of the countryside as I walk my dog. I find that both humbling and uplifting smile.

Mother2many Tue 02-Apr-13 22:08:04

Oh, Yes, I post about my children, and family... great report card, sad day for DS, or whatever.. I do post pictures about my kids crafts, comments, funny jokes...

I don't however, post daily on different status updates on what I am doing, "doing dishes, going shopping, bathroom, whatever"...and I don't post different pictures of myself, with duck faces, different poses, constantly either... (ROLLS EYES) I also don't post, how much I hate my old man, or what he's done to piss me off, or intimate details of how much and why I love him, etc.....

dummad Tue 02-Apr-13 22:25:59

Great a FB thread - and i have a topic related question. Do you guys think posting a picture of your poorly child while they sleep, in a 'ah, poorly girl' type way, is a complete infringement of their privacy? One or two mums i have as friends on FB have done this and i find it upsetting. I mean is NOTHING sacred FGS?

ballstoit Tue 02-Apr-13 22:44:49

Dummad, I totally agree with you...worst offender was a (now deleted) friend, who put photos of her naked 3 year old's body covered in chicken pox. Why?

MDA Tue 02-Apr-13 23:25:18

Ah yeah. Look I love Facebook, I do. I know Mumsnet hate it but I love it more than I love Mumsnet, (though I love Mumsnet) so I don't care wink

But all of these ring true. Vaguebookers annoy me the most (that thing where someone goes sad then everyone else goes wots up hunz and they do the will message u x and they are like ok hugz hunz etc )

And the instagrammed cheese sandwhich and all that, but my brother quit because people kept "boasting about gigs" and posting athiest stuff, but he has one of the best jobs in music in his field and his country, and is also an athiest, so I can't quite get why he had to quit, but its his own individual personality.

I love it, not constantly, and honestly don't think I'm guilty of any of the things the OP mentioned apart from self portrait profile pic, but its not pouty or duck faced, or photoshopped, just a sort of yep, whatever pic really

Ah its all good fun

DDDLchick Wed 03-Apr-13 00:07:37

I was going to do another thread on this but thought I could tag it onto here; the thing that annoys me about FB is people who constantly make arrangements to meet up/do things on each others' walls. In a big show of 'Look how popular/busy I am'

I have two FB friends that are good friends with each other and all they do is write on each others' walls, even though they live near each other, see each other most days, and both have phones and could text each other. And it's random things such as 'Seen that dress you like in Fat Face and it's on sale now, we could go there tomorrow once we've dropped the kids at school' or 'How did you get on food shopping today? Was the celery on special offer like we thought?'

I probably appear very boring on FB as I rarely post statuses, I rarely comment on anything of anyone else's, in fact I rarely go on there; maybe three times a week at the most plus the occasional look on my phone if I'm bored. I'd say I use the PM/chat facility more than anything else on there, as I don't feel the need to have my day to day business available for all and sundry to read.

BeebiesQueen Wed 03-Apr-13 11:39:54

I'm one of thoes annoying people that post their lives on facebook, except I go one further and link my self absorbed blog posts to facebook so people can read about my life in detail grin

nowadays my ststus are genuinly funny things my dc have said or my blog link. the vague people make me stabby, although in the past I hve been guilty of this blush not intentionally, i hasten to add. I just didnt realise!

mirry2 Wed 03-Apr-13 13:47:18

I'm fairly new to facebook and quite surprised at the way some of my friends constantly update (posed) photos of themselves. I didn't know that they were so vain.

JenaiMorris Wed 03-Apr-13 14:34:56

I'm with you Arisbottle.

I like seeing my friends' children, cakes, knitting, fish, shoes, dogs, cars...

I enjoy hearing their and their childrne's good news, minor gripes, observations and I'm interested to see if they've tagged themselves at a restaurant/gallery/club/museum.

They're my friends - why wouldn't I? confused

I weeded out the attention seeking, crisis lovers years ago.

Maybe it's an age thing. I don't see many of my friends (mainly 30s-50s) playing FB politics. Anyone who has in the past I'd have hidden long ago.

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