To never want to come out this room again

(44 Posts)
KittyLane1 Sun 31-Mar-13 20:10:34

Am currently holed up in DH's aunties bathroom. Visiting his family for Easter. I received horrible news recently about a family member on my side, I have been feeling awful and teary but still decided to come tonight.
Having been feeling so down I decided to cheer myself up by getting all dressed up, tight dress, heels and full make up. I am only 20! I have a fairly normal, curvy figure (14) and I am happy with how I look

We arrived and everyone said how sorry they are at my bad news, I thanked them and turned to put my coat in the other room, before I had even left I heard MIL and her mum laugh at me, saying what did I think I was wearing and what do I look like!

AIBU to think you don't console and then slag someone in the same breath?! I am very upset and don't want to face them again sad

Piemother Sun 31-Mar-13 20:13:44

Can't read and run. Can you go back in and get very drunk? It's probably how I would handle it. thanks

NumTumMum Sun 31-Mar-13 20:13:46

Oh that's dreadful! Did they realise you heard? I might be tempted to say to them that I heard, let them feel terrible instead of you. Can you go home or are you too far away?

CocacolaMum Sun 31-Mar-13 20:13:57

what utter shits!!!!

I'm sure you look fine x I hope your MIL and GMIL get warts.

kinkyfuckery Sun 31-Mar-13 20:15:39

Guilt them! Tell them very clearly that you heard their disgusting comments, then walk away and ignore (if you can't leave!) Shame them into behaving.

Salmotrutta Sun 31-Mar-13 20:15:53

Oh that's horrible!

I'm sorry you have had bad news and yes, that was spectacularly mean of them to slag you off.

Could you be brave enough to take them to one side and tell them you heard?

Then tell your DH? How would he react?

NotHoldenCaulfield Sun 31-Mar-13 20:16:29

You poor love. What a couple of sweethearts. They are jealous old bats who wish that they were 20 again and able to pull off a dress like that.

You ANBU. They are horrid. You look great. Dry your tears and get back out. Don't let them upset you. I can never understand why some women are so unkind to others. Xxxx

weblette Sun 31-Mar-13 20:16:37

Kitty I bet you look lovely, you're worth a zillion times more than their shallowness. Hold your head high xxx

cocoachannel Sun 31-Mar-13 20:16:59

I would be tempted to let them know I'd heard and make them feel the cruel, hurtful people they are. Is your DH with you? Did he hear?

Dylanlovesbaez Sun 31-Mar-13 20:17:00

What a paid of bitches. Tell your partner and leave. This has enraged me!

GypsyTart Sun 31-Mar-13 20:17:03

I'm sorry that you've had some bad news. And what you overheard was horrible. Unfortunately there's only one thing you can do and its get on down there and brazen it out. Don't let those miserable bitches know they've hurt your feelings.
And no doubt you look perfectly nice dressed up. They wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise. x

whosiwhatsit Sun 31-Mar-13 20:17:06

You sound gorgeous and they're probably jealous because you're 20 and beautiful and they're not (and I say this as a forty year old myself). Try to put yourself in the frame of mind of pitying them as they must be quite miserable themselves to be so nasty about you.

Happy247 Sun 31-Mar-13 20:17:07

how horrid....just ignore and try to enjoy your evening.

I agree with Kinkyfuckery (never thought I'd say that sentence grin )

cocoachannel Sun 31-Mar-13 20:17:30

Oh and thanks

Salmotrutta Sun 31-Mar-13 20:17:33


I'd deffo tell them- but I'm a lot older and have reached that stage of confidence.

You could do it icily politely and put them on the back foot.

I think you SHOULD let them know they've hurt you, actually, Gypsy

ekidna Sun 31-Mar-13 20:18:13

Gosh I wouldn't stick around after that. Nasty ladies. Poor you. Hug.

McPheetStink Sun 31-Mar-13 20:18:54

What vile people

I my recent experience, people will say the most awful things about you that they wouldn't have the guts to say to your face. That makes them weak and cowardly. Ignore and pity smile

ujjayi Sun 31-Mar-13 20:19:21

Hold your head high and then tell them you heard. Nasty, insincere women. Show them up for what & who they are.

catinboots Sun 31-Mar-13 20:19:49

Horrible, jealous cunts.

Get your coat and DH and get out of there now

(Hugggggs) winewinethanksthanks

HumphreyCobbler Sun 31-Mar-13 20:20:10

What a couple of bitches. I would tell them I had heard actually. And then fuck off home.

landofsoapandglory Sun 31-Mar-13 20:21:23

I think you should tell them that you heard what they said. Say it in a loud voice in front of everyone else and watch them squirm!

Jestrin Sun 31-Mar-13 20:21:24

I agree with the others. You need to go out there and they'll them that you heard what they said, found it very hurtful and then I would probably leave!

Happy247 Sun 31-Mar-13 20:21:44

are you ok? i bet you look fab.

How horrible! I'd wait until everyone's there, and then casually ask 'So what exactly did you mean earlier when you asked what I thought I looked like? It's so sad when insecurity presents as bitchy isn't it?' <calm sip of wine>
thanks for your loss OP.

Oh! What a pair of prize bitches!
I hope you put your coat on and went home

Much sympathy for your news and for the family you married, head for some real friends

HollyBerryBush Sun 31-Mar-13 20:25:58

Were you overdressed for a family get together indoors? That may be the issue here. If everyone else is smart casual and you have pulled out the full works, did you look oddly out of place? And what did DH say?

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sun 31-Mar-13 20:26:01

Go back and join them and say 'So ladies, what do you think of my dress? I've been feeling down recently so decided to make the effort this evening'

If they tell you they don't like it say 'well thanks for your honesty, just a pity you couldn't say it to my face when I walked in earlier instead of behind my back. Yes, I did hear you!'

Or, if they say 'ooh, you look lovely' then back at them again with ' well that's not what you said earlier as I was leaving the room!'

Put them on the spot make them feel as shitty as they made you.

Machli Sun 31-Mar-13 20:28:25


I'd tell them I heard them actually but that's just me. They'll probably deny it but I would still tell them, then I wouldn't look at them or speak to them for the rest of the night.

Poor you sad.

I'd go back in, and as you pass them, say I'm sorry you don't like my dress. Then keep your head high. They will know you heard them.
But I'm in my 40s now and much more confident than I was at 20.

KittyLane1 Sun 31-Mar-13 20:30:40

Thanks so much for the comments, I managed to flag down my passing DH and he is mortified. It is not unusual for MIL to comment on what I am wearing but I thought tonight she would keep her mouth shut.

The comment about warts made me laugh so much, GMIL has a rather fetching one on her chin :D

I'm too far away to storm out and not brave enough to confront them

QuickLookBusy Sun 31-Mar-13 20:32:15

I bet they are jealous cos you've made an effort and they hadn't.

Im sure you look absolutely gorgeous. Please don't take it to heart.

One word, jealousy! They're bitter and twisted old hags now, they probably never even looked as good at 20 as you do now. That will be why MIL always comments on what you wear. I can never understand women (especially older women) who feel the need to comment on how another woman dresses, they just show themselves up for what they are - jealous!

My DSD is 20 and has a lovely curvy figure and always looks gorgeous in what she wears. I could never look at her and feel jealous. confused Take no notice of them, walk back in there with your head held high knowing that you are a far better person than they are.

TheUnicornsGoHawaiian Sun 31-Mar-13 20:37:28

Find the medicine cabinet and lace their drinks with eye drops!! Your dress will be the least of their worries when they are fighting over loo roll.

(I'd better retract that before someone appears and tells me im reckless and advice like that could kill mil and gmil) DO IT ANYWAY!!

Take no notice, I bet you look hot. smile

KittyLane1 Sun 31-Mar-13 20:40:51

holly the dress is not revealing or anything, its not a night club dress. It's just a tight body-con office dress.

DH offered to tell me how beautiful I look in front of everyone which has made me feel better.

Think I will just be honest and tell them I made an effort with my appearance in order to feel good. They may think about what they said and keep quiet in the future x

Bibs123 Sun 31-Mar-13 20:41:28

Definatley jealous. You must tell them that you heard them. DOn't let them get away with it...

whosiwhatsit Sun 31-Mar-13 20:49:17

Your DH sounds lovely grin

Jestrin Sun 31-Mar-13 20:51:42

*tell them. Sorry didn't spot the typo before.

Did you say anything?

AllOverIt Sun 31-Mar-13 21:00:31

Beeeeeeatches. Urgh. angry Bet you look fabulous smile

notthegoldenone Sun 31-Mar-13 22:20:33

people have the guts, it's just whether or not they're taken notice off. Some folks have the guts to say the truth...shame people see a different truth. Let's just say some people are very good at covering up their own bullshit.

AllOverIt Mon 01-Apr-13 07:15:13

What happened OP?

KittyLane1 Mon 01-Apr-13 10:58:03

Hi guys thanks for the comments, I went out and left soon after. I would normally confront them but I am feeling tender and teary still from the family deaths that I just don't want to deal with anyone.

DH would not have let me leave the house if I looked silly last night, he sais he liked the dress because it showed off my figure without being low cut or short.

Thanks again for the support x

ujjayi Mon 01-Apr-13 11:57:49

Sounds like your DH is very supportive. If your MIL has form for this perhaps now would be a good time for your DH to have a word with her? But IME it is more effectively dealt with at the time of the comments - easier said that done, I know, particularly when you are feeling so low.

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