Aibu to wonder why people treat Easter and Christmas as competitions to out weigh other parents?

(79 Posts)
M0naLisa Sun 31-Mar-13 13:19:10

First off my boys of 6 & 5 got an egg each from me and DH worth £4. Ds3 who's 17 weeks got a £5 soft teddy bear/sheep. That's it.

They got a further 5 eggs from family.

On Facebook (I know) people posting pictures of what's the 'Easter Bunny' left. (I am guilty of this too but mines a normal picture of chocolate eggs wink)
Most pictures ive seen today had wrapped pregnant a stacked high, bikes, skateboards, scooters and massive eggs the size of a house - for a 4 year old.

Then you've got people applying saying they are sad they haven't spoilt their little ones as they've only bought them 3 eggs each and colouring books, socks and DVDs.

I thought kids received chocolate at Easter.
I also used to receive a cross from folded beige palm paper (or something) can't remember the name now.

M0naLisa Sun 31-Mar-13 13:20:22

Sorry posted too soon.

Aibu to think its not a bloody competition?
That's what celebrations feel like these days

Look you bought your DC these for Christmas but look at our living room - ceiling to floor of presents for our 6mths old wink

pinkyredrose Sun 31-Mar-13 13:20:47

had wrapped pregnant a stacked high confused

Trills Sun 31-Mar-13 13:23:12

Who are these people?

missboring Sun 31-Mar-13 13:30:53

Someone posted on Facebook that their 4 year old was disappointed they didn't have a room full of presents to open shock

giveitago Sun 31-Mar-13 13:41:37

It's not a competition - it's the culture of the shite called 'facebook'.

I'm not on fb thank goodness, my kids got a £4 egg each and some cheap tiny chocolate bunnies and eggs for a hunt, they are thrilled -until they go back to school and compare notes no doubt-- Do people really give easter presents confused

Housemum Sun 31-Mar-13 13:45:38

Never heard of Easter presents, other than perhaps Easter theme craft kit or a cuddly bunny/rabbit instead of an egg - since when have scooters & skateboards appeared? And the papery cross was prob a Palm Sunday cross where they bless palm leaves and if you are not as cack handed as me you can actually follow the YouTube instructions and make a cross, mine just break!

squeakytoy Sun 31-Mar-13 13:47:02

I have loads of friends with kids and apart from one person posting a pic of her two kids eating an egg, I havent seen any pictures of egg mountains or skateboards etc...

SkinnybitchWannabe Sun 31-Mar-13 13:49:50

YANBU I totally agree, Im friends with a school mum on fb (and in RL!) and she is always bragging about everything.
She even put a receipt on fb this week showing how much shes paying for her holiday, and I wont even go into how her 10 year old pfb has the brain of a 14 year old!!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 31-Mar-13 13:53:52

Do what I do and don't give a shiny shit what other people do.

It is really liberating.

I am told it is rude, but who cares? I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

kinkyfuckery Sun 31-Mar-13 13:55:27

Seriously? I've not witnessed the Easter Egg competitions.

I got my two (4 and almost-8) an Easter Egg set (one Mario, one Disney Princess) with an egg, a Kit Kat type wafer sweet and some marshmallows for £1.99 each in Home Bargains. I got my niece (almost-7) a chocolate 'decorate your own egg' slab (easier than an egg for sending through post), and my nephew (almost 10 months) a fluffy chick teddy and a bit of white chocolate.

Bikes, skateboards and DVDs? Yeah, ok.

Misfit13 Sun 31-Mar-13 13:55:57

Yep, my newsfeed is full of it. My nephews are posed in front of the fireplace, which is draped with bunny/egg/chicks bunting, surrounded by a mountain of chocolate eggs/chocolate bunnies/chocolate chicks. Just to the edge of the scene is a vase of twigs on to which decorated eggs have been speared.
My 3 year old doesn't know it's Easter. He knows we made chocolate cornflake cakes on Good Friday - nursery was closed so I felt obliged to do 'a activity'.
I'm not tight, I just don't really 'get' it :/

christinarossetti Sun 31-Mar-13 13:58:06

I bought a packed of small chocolate eggs from Lidl, me and Dh ate most of them, then put a dozen or so around the living room for dc to find this morning.

Plenty, in my book.

M0naLisa Sun 31-Mar-13 14:00:14

Honestly Easter presents.
A friend posted a pic of her son stood in the kitchen with a mountain of eggs and a new bike. People asking if if was his birthday today and she replied no its for Easter!!!

Arisbottle Sun 31-Mar-13 14:00:15

I have FB and a house full of chocolate, not aware of any competition other than competitive not buying eggs - which only exists on here anyway.

Misfit13 Sun 31-Mar-13 14:00:45

an activity
Oh, and I gave my 19y old a tenner. He probably assumed it was an Easter present. It wasn't, particularly, I just wanted him to go out!

MimiSunshine Sun 31-Mar-13 14:01:20

Who knows why some people need to validate their existence by posting pictures of what they or their kids got for Easter (and Christmas) but clearly you do because you did it as well, but you seem to think that's not 'competing' because its a "normal picture of chocolate eggs". hmm

OestraJen Sun 31-Mar-13 14:03:01

We gave DD her birthday bike today so that she has it for cycling proficiency when she goes back to school.

We gave DS a DVD box set. Didn't bother getting the baby anything because he's a baby.

Two eggs each.

And I posted them on FB to share with my friends because that's what I do. Not to brag, not to make people feel indequate (wtf?) but because I take lots of photos of my DC and like to share them with my friends.

All but a few of my FB friends are my actual RL friends and not just randoms I've added to bump the numbers (I think there are maybe five MNers on there who I don't actaully know personally).

If you don't like it, you can always hide people.

Really, this attitude says much more about you than them. Most people are being festive and cheery. Not braggy.

BlackMaryJanes Sun 31-Mar-13 14:03:30

My 2 toddlers got the following each:

a character eggcup.
a character spoon, bowl, mug and egg set.

I'm happy with that. We're going out for a meal now.

Arisbottle Sun 31-Mar-13 14:05:12

I live in a world where I quite like my FB friends and quite like to see what they are up to, that includes seeing scrummy pictures of children with cute decorated eggs or chocolate stained chins. Heck if they got a bike and are chuffed I would happily see that to.

uncongenial Sun 31-Mar-13 14:09:04

I've never seen or heard of Easter presents as you've described. Excepting stuffed bunnies and chicks, egg cups, that sort of thing.
It's really interesting, though, I wonder why they do it?

OestraJen Sun 31-Mar-13 14:09:30

Exactly Aris.

I can't say I've ever looked at a FB photo of presents, or new things or a holiday and thought, 'what a braggy bastard. that makes me feel bad about me. Boo hoo.'

I tend to just think, oh how lovely for my friends.

It's all very sad this.

Happy Easter sad

Jacksterbear Sun 31-Mar-13 14:09:50

We bought the dcs a DVD and a paint-your-own Eater bunny kit each, as well as eggs, but only because we were attempting to buy a few minutes' peace, tbh!

WorraLiberty Sun 31-Mar-13 14:10:03

I can't think why for the life of me anyone would want to put photos like that on FB...including yourself OP.

But I accept everyone's different.

Therefore, YABU to not accept that too.

Basically you're saying it's ok to put 'normal pictures of chocolate eggs' on FB...but nothing more?

I got dd an Easter present, a beautiful necklace.

Pandemoniaa Sun 31-Mar-13 14:13:05

I don't know who these people are. But then I don't seem to live in a world where competitive Easter present giving is normal let alone posting the evidence on FB. Although what's not to like about a picture of someone enjoying chocolate for breakfast - as dgd did!

As a family we've never gone in for Easter presents as such anyway but I have bought dgd a small toy to go with her small Easter egg but that's because she doesn't need (and her parents would prefer she didn't) to consume her entire weight in chocolate.

Machli Sun 31-Mar-13 14:17:34

Well I find the competitive frugalness on her rather irritating tbh. My dc got four eggs and a chocolate rabbit each from me and a small toy worth about a tenner each. They also got some eggs from various family members. So what? Do what you want.

I did not post about it on FB.

threesypeesy Sun 31-Mar-13 14:19:11

Agree with OestraJen

I put photos on fb all the time of Easter/birthdays/xmas as well as special surprises dh buys me.

Most of my friends do and i would never think bad of the its always a case of oh how lovely, or haven't such and such done well

Easter presents are completely normal around our area. We have 3dcs and Easter cost well over £100 for them and im not trying to compete i buy them what we can afford to

gabsid Sun 31-Mar-13 14:20:00

As far as our DC are concerned the Easter Bunny brings the eggs. We usually buy them one egg each and have lots of little eggs to do an egg hunt around the garden, which they love. We also do some Easter baking, crafts and an Easter themed trip and we read the Easter story so that they know where it all came from.

I hate having mountains of chocolate in the house, because I eat it all. Unfortunately, this year some relatives came and brought them eggs so there were more to find this year and DS (almost 8) was astonished to find so many big eggs (4 each)

Housemum Sun 31-Mar-13 14:21:26

Nothing wrong with posting pics on FB, and I don't go for competitive frugality, but there's a world of difference between a few eggs/DVDs/trinkets and a bike/skateboard/mountain of eggs. Mine had a few eggs each, and we bought them some craft stuff from Yellow Moon to keep them occupied decorating the dining room.

M0naLisa Sun 31-Mar-13 14:22:49

I put pics of my DC on Facebook all the time not in a braggy way. It was to say look how much we've spent.

M0naLisa Sun 31-Mar-13 14:23:07


we went to church this morning as usual, but unlike during lent, we sang really loud joyful music.

and the gloria.
and an introit anthem which is unusual for a 10o'clock service.

there were posh biscuits afterwards too.
dh and I have an egg each.
dd hasn't got an egg, but I did buy her a mini library of board books about the easter story. that I've managed not to bring home. but I'll fetch it later.

AThingInYourLife Sun 31-Mar-13 14:24:33

What Hecsy said.

People who show off on Facebook shouldn't inspire jealousy.

Don't you just feel a bit sorry for them?

uncongenial Sun 31-Mar-13 14:24:51

But why do you/they buy Easter presents (of the bikes, skateboards ilk), threesy? What's the reasoning behind it? I'm just curious.

Misfit13 Sun 31-Mar-13 14:33:49

Without analysing it too much, I think maybe, in doing this, my sister (and other primary school friends) are saying something like "I might have been one of 6 scruffbags crammed in to the scruffiest house on the worst estate in town, but look at me now with my warm, well dressed children in our lovely, tidy home full of nice things with all these Easter eggs we can easily afford."

I've bought 3yo dd one Easter egg. Mil and Bil have got her a couple more.
Mil also got her some pj's and tops as Easter presents.

uncongenial mil would have given dd the pjs anyway as dd needed some new ones so just wrapped them up as an Easter treat.

Unfortunately we're all in bed with what we think is d&v so wont be eating the chocolate for a while.

threesypeesy Sun 31-Mar-13 14:48:27

Its Easter,its for kids so why not I've always bought them a large £10/15 egg each and then they get whatever they ask for as a present, and a new outfit for Easter Sunday it's just the done think here

simplesusan Sun 31-Mar-13 14:49:28

I don't care what anyone else buys their kids.
I especially find it hypocritical when people spend copious amounts on Easter when they don't know the slightest thing about what is Easter stands for.

I was especially miffed when the card shops were covered in Easter cards.
It's bad enough that I have to get all my winter birthday cards in October. Then I have to get my April ones well before Mother's Day, and now this.
As dh maintains it's all a scam by the card manufacturers to get you to spend more and more cash.

Who cares if little Johnny gets 65 eggs?

I don't feel any need to over indulge my dcs. They know that they are provided with the thing that money cannot buy- a stable, secure, loving family.

seriouscakeeater Sun 31-Mar-13 14:51:17

YANBU I thought that too. My dd (18) got a thorntons egg only because of her age but that's it. Sunday dinner and cake. It's a shame children are being brought up to expect so much materialistic things.
There's going to be lots of entitled teenagers/young adults in a few years.

uncongenial Sun 31-Mar-13 14:51:52

New outfits, eggs (any size/number) I can understand and are not a new concept.
But why a bike, skateboard or other large present for Easter? Even from an non-religious point of view I'm struggling to see the connection or reasoning behind it.

mum11970 Sun 31-Mar-13 14:53:51

My kids got a £1 Easter egg of us and 3 from others. That's it.

uncongenial maybe they believe the phrase "Christ on a bike!" ?!

threesypeesy Sun 31-Mar-13 14:57:29

Why are the kids presumed not to come from loving table homes if they are over indulged confused silly thing to assume that as you don't buy alto your children are cared for in a superior way

threesypeesy Sun 31-Mar-13 14:58:20

*stable. *a lot stupid phone

threesypeesy Sun 31-Mar-13 14:58:49

*stable. *a lot stupid phone

Arisbottle Sun 31-Mar-13 14:59:55

I beat my children daily and make their lives a misery, hence then have a lot of eggs, because that is exactly how it works.

Jins Sun 31-Mar-13 15:01:49

Easter bunny used to bring a summer toy when the DSs were little. Bike one year, scooter another. They were both born in winter so it was a nice opportunity to give them something for nice weather

I liked them getting big presents from nonexistent entities as it stopped them nagging me.

No Facebook posting though as it didn't exist then.

Shrugs. Worked for me. I don't judge people for treating their kids

Jins Sun 31-Mar-13 15:02:47

Oh and when they were old enough not to believe in Easter bunny they got an egg each

simplesusan Sun 31-Mar-13 15:06:27

I think if you did a straw pole about the amount of presents kids from the same social background receive, you will find that it is those kids from broken (to use a phrase) homes who are overindulged.
I really believe this to be the case.
Overindulged by most family members to compete with the estranged partner. They don't want to appear to be the skinflint. They have to buy their child's love to make up for the guilt that they feel. This admittedly is on a subconscious level. That is not to say that other types of parents don't overindulge their children, yes they do but not on the same level, or with materialist goods that would be considered beyond their means.

I have seen this time after time.
Daddy buys Johnny a computer. Not to be outdone Mummy then stumps up for a playstation. Daddy takes Johnny to Disneyland. Mummy then pays for Johnny to go skiing. It is always the kids who are not with both biological parents, always.

YouTheCat Sun 31-Mar-13 15:09:06

My dd doesn't care for chocolate so she gets a game for her DS.

Her twin brother got a t-shirt and an Angry bird plushie.

They are Christmas birthdays so it just seems like a nice thing to do. I don't see it as any kind of competition. Do what suits you.

I got a massive Hotel Chocolat egg. grin

uncongenial Sun 31-Mar-13 15:10:48

smile Unique

Fluffy1234 Sun 31-Mar-13 15:14:48

We normally have a big holiday at Easter but this year haven't so I brought my DS's a wii game that has just come out, a 3Ds game and a Lego set to share. More for an activity during the school holidays as days out can be very expensive. They got a £1 egg each. I wouldn't put pictures on Facebook although I have seen some great egg photos on it.
I don't really get the only buying stuff for children at Christmas thing. I buy mine stuff throughout the year depending on if they need it, I have the money or when I want to treat them. I think otherwise it makes Christmas to much of a big deal. I wouldn't for instance like to have all my treats or new clothes just once a year.

dd is a december birthday so we'll be celebrating her june baptism as a "church birthday" but not with huge pressies.
probably lashes and ashes.

uncongenial Sun 31-Mar-13 15:15:50

But at least you know why you're doing it, Jins. A summer toy from the Easter bunny.

threesypeesy Sun 31-Mar-13 15:17:28

Well that's a sweeping generalization i am happily married to Dh the father of my 3dcs and we love to over indulge, neither of us are from less well off or broken homes either and were over indulged children so parents just like their dcs to have nice things not through guilt

HaHa OP!

Yes, I remember being quite impressed at being given a palm cross at church on Palm Sunday. Those were the days !

DS went out to the Co-op yesterday with a tenner and came home with a small chocolate egg for us all, which we've all enjoyed this morning.
There was change !

DC's have been quite happy today skate-boarding in park (DS), arranging my bunch of Easter flowers more artfully (DD), and pottering in the garden.

Mind you DD did invite a few friends out last night to the local roller skating disco for a little birthday outing/party. We had chocolate cake, pringles, home made samosas, and lemonade.
Even that was less than £50

Some people are just a bit crazy when it comes to material goods !

i got the baby a learn and groove, who cares, it may look ott but it cost £10 on ebay. I don't understand why people care.

HallelujahHeisRisen Sun 31-Mar-13 15:21:02

the children's dad did not buy them an easter egg, nor did i. we discussed it together and have little eggs for an easter egg hunt and eggs from paternal grandpa. maternal grandmother is getting more little eggs for a hunt at her house/garden. they got eggs from church/party/neighbour so are not missing out. they are still getting though christmas chocolate... we just do not eat that much chocolate.

it does not follow thata children with separated parents get overly spoiled

Fluffy1234 Sun 31-Mar-13 15:23:01

simplesusan, what are you talking about?

slatternlymother Sun 31-Mar-13 15:23:33

Meh, I bought DS who's 2 a scooter because he's got barely any family other than us and hasn't had much in the way of that. He's wanted one since he's been able to walk properly, and we wanted to treat him. I'd rather give him a gift than mountains of chocolate, and it's getting to the season where we're starting to be outdoors a bit more. His birthday is in October as well, so not much scope to get it for him for his birthday.

It isn't always about showing off, sometimes it's a genuine opportunity to get them something nice, especially if their birthdays are miles away. I always feel like getting them outdoor equipment at Christmas can be a bit of a waste, since its a good few months until they can get out there and use it.

starfishmummy Sun 31-Mar-13 15:24:05

Ds got a 99p egg (he's not fond of chocolate) and he will be getting a set of the Dr who stamps when they arrive.
Grandma the other hand has spent about £40 on him.

slatternlymother Sun 31-Mar-13 15:29:04

But starfish does his grandma see him very often? I'm sure when I have GC's <hopeful> that I'll spoil them too smile

bizzey Sun 31-Mar-13 15:33:50

Well I must be the "Bah humbug" of Easter then !!! My dc's got a kinder egg each before they went to stay with in laws .....1 dc stayed with me (didn't) want to go )
(who will get them something)

Sitting room needs a good sort out so I have hidden little eggs around to find while sorting through boxes and piles of tat !!!!

Dc keeps asking "when can we tidy the sitting room ?" blush

bizzey Sun 31-Mar-13 15:38:54

Well I must be the "Bah humbug" of Easter then !!! My dc's got a kinder egg each before they went to stay with in laws .....1 dc stayed with me (didn't want to go )
(GP'S will get them something)

Sitting room needs a good sort out so I have hidden little eggs around to find while sorting through boxes and piles of tat !!!!

Dc keeps asking "when can we tidy the sitting room ?" blush

wonderingsoul Sun 31-Mar-13 16:09:25

I normally just get them one or two eggs but this year I did Easter hunt with smaller eggs. As well as two medium eggs.

Also got them. A cars sing a long CD with book. And Roland Darlh10 books audio cds. I had been wanting to buy them for a while but used Easter to give me a 'reason' to buy it. They are both nov ans ddec births so I like to use any excuse.

I also don't see the problem with posting pictures on Fb. I would have taken a photo of it to keep any way. Just happens I upload. Most photos to Fb so I don't lose them on my phone.

FinnTheHuman Sun 31-Mar-13 17:19:06

I am wondering how the supermarkets have been selling out of eggs, when it appears that so many are determinedly not buying eggs.

As it happens DH had a mad but fruitless trawl around the shops yesterday to find some. We were really grateful to his parents and sister who had thought ahead and left a large present bag for each of the children with enough chocolate in to make them properly ill.

RatPants Sun 31-Mar-13 17:31:19

Misfit that's exactly what my dh is like. He has done very well for himself and can afford it but always has to have the best of everything, latest gadget etc and so do the dc and it's all down to his underprivileged childhood and the horrible time of things he had as a youngster. I catch it now and then in him and it breaks my heart.

MiniEggsJumpedInMyBasket Sun 31-Mar-13 18:18:38

I don't go on FB much but had a look this morning and sure enough my feed was full up of photos of Easter 'presents'; Ipads, bikes, stacks of wrapped gifts. It's bonkers! It is those same FB friends that post photo after photo at Xmas of stacks of wrapped presents and statuses about how much it all cost!

eggerlicious Sun 31-Mar-13 18:28:07

Two eggs each here too! They do save the eggs for a month or two, but they don't have sweet teeth and there's really no need for any more.

SneezingwakestheJesus Sun 31-Mar-13 18:32:12

If someone's pictures on Facebook make you feel like its a competition, I think that says more about you than them. Loads of the mums on my fb have posted egg pictures today and I don't feel like they are starting a competition. They are just sharing their Easter the way they share pics of everything else.

whosiwhatsit Sun 31-Mar-13 18:41:47

Just checked my fb feed. A couple of pictures of kids who received soft toys and some with egss but apart from that no kids with gifts and no bragging, PLUS one photo of a cutesy bunny cake violently stabbed with a massive kitchen knife which I disturbingly found quite hilarious. I have weeded out my fb friends list quite ruthlessly and am pleased with the result!

Rosa Sun 31-Mar-13 18:44:17

Nothing on my FB page the odd pic of eggs in a hunt but nothing OTT ...just some happy smiley faces....

Altinkum Sun 31-Mar-13 19:11:19

My DC, got 39 (at last count) EACH, we are not a breakup family, we didn't buy them eggs, we got them a outfit each, the eggs came from our mahoosive family.

Today we decorated eggs for our big hill roll, baked cakes for 2 sets of grandparents, been to church, visited the hospital who saved ds life, and gave eggs, plus gifts and money donations that we had raised as a family, even if that family may be extended.

We then visited dh parents at the local pub for a fun packed day off Easter fun, my DC know the meaning of Easter, and even more so the meaning of family time together, as without family we would truly lead a world of unknown, as family to us is extreamly important.

£1 eater eggs, plus donations off gifts and donations means children are happy tonight but to us as a family unit, is much more valuable than a eater egg.

Easter eggs just shows that even through my family live hundreds of miles away, they are thinking of us as part of there family, be that a gift, a card, their time, a phone call etc... its something insignificant but means so much more.

Altinkum Sun 31-Mar-13 19:15:51

Or posted nothing on my Facebook page, except them finding their Easter hunt egg video, in which ds1 took a major strop as ds2 found more kinder eggs than him (4 in total) and family comment that it was so like ds1, as he is so competitive.

I haven't posted that we've raised x amount not have I posted that we have visited the hospital today, not because I feel like embarrassed, in any shape or form, but I do feel its a massive achieved Tony's as a family unit off 4 to be proud off.

No one on my Facebook has posted anything about Easter eggs, most have posted about the importance of family in their lives.

sweetiepie1979 Sun 31-Mar-13 22:53:36

It sounds like the company you keep. My friends all bought chocolate rabbits and went for walks in the botanical gardens with our children. I've never heard if Easter presents! I too think its facebook I
Not on it, as far as I can make out its for people who want to show off and try to not look like they might have a normal life it's all insecurity and a bit sad.

MiniEggsJumpedInMyBasket Sun 31-Mar-13 23:06:41

Well said, sweetiepie

uncongenial Sun 31-Mar-13 23:36:08

Seconding that! I think that's exactly right, sweetiepie.

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