(188 Posts)
cozietoesie Sat 30-Mar-13 21:32:55

There seems to be a DDNS around. MNHQ- stop the coffee.


cardibach Sat 30-Mar-13 21:34:01


A what?

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 21:34:53


oh, I have just googled.

I am enlightened npw.

<<lies through teeth>>

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 21:36:03

Dangerous, Delirious Numpty Seals?

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 21:36:56

I googled too, Very interesting but what does it mean?

FannyFifer Sat 30-Mar-13 21:36:59



Can you be a teensy bit less cryptic

Igpay latinyay or summat

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 21:38:02

Are we under attack?

Should I hide behind Chaos?

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:39:04


Desperate Donna Needs Shag?
Be afraid, she's a comin!

kim147 Sat 30-Mar-13 21:39:31

Dodgy dodgy name server?

PoppyWearer Sat 30-Mar-13 21:39:40

<grabs OFRS>
<and gin>
<contemplates grabbing tonic>
<ice and a slice? Do I have time?>

GeoffVader Sat 30-Mar-13 21:40:01

Can people please stop making up acronyms. confused

kim147 Sat 30-Mar-13 21:40:13

Ooooh I got it it.

Deadly denial of normal service

( blows raspberry)

Something computerey but no idea what.


Oh, did you see Dr Who? Clara had a Computer Skills Chip implanted in her brain by the Celia Imrie character.


cozietoesie Sat 30-Mar-13 21:41:14

I lost every one of my passwords. Every one.

GeoffVader Sat 30-Mar-13 21:41:14

Or at least tell us in the bloody OP so we actually know what you are on about FFS.

kim147 Sat 30-Mar-13 21:41:52

At least my acronyms are computer related grin

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:42:09

Dynamic domain name service was what I found.

But what does it mean?


Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:42:33


AllYoursBabooshka Sat 30-Mar-13 21:42:58

If you are talking about a DDOS then...

What a load of horsefeathers.

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 21:42:58

How? where?

Come on cozie, help us out here.

kim147 Sat 30-Mar-13 21:43:39

Googling reveals zombie computers involved.

<Grabs bag and runs>

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:44:13

Where do you think you lost them OP?

Did you look under the sofa cushions?

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 21:45:32

<hides under sofa cushions>

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:46:02


Further googling reveals seriousness.


Have only guys to be aware?
Not an issue for the gals?
I'm confused confused

FrubesOnTheCouch Sat 30-Mar-13 21:46:10

Dangerous Dolls Named Sarah

OhDearieDearieMe Sat 30-Mar-13 21:46:51

Oh God - I'm having a complete panic here but................I DON'T KNOW WHY!!

OP - come back and tell us why we are, or should be, having a hissy fit panic!

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:47:03

<hides behind cats>

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 21:47:49

Shall I drink my emergency vodka?

kim147 Sat 30-Mar-13 21:47:58

The zombie computers have got her.

It's just like Dr Who tonight.

cozietoesie Sat 30-Mar-13 21:48:09

I came down to the tower down here. All hail to comodo. #

DDNS - Sorry. Distributed Denial of Servicde.

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:48:19

Don't panic!

<goes all Corporal Jones>

BarredfromhavingStella Sat 30-Mar-13 21:48:26

Right it's only 9.45 so I haven't had that much gin but I have absolutely no fucking idea what is going on...disturbing.

Dear Darling Nephews?

MNHQ keep the coffee going, looks like posters are going to need it if OP doesn't come back to explain sometime soon!

Doo Doos Not Shit!

Cozie, my head hurts.

Xpost eh?

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:49:21

Not.... The Tower???


kim147 Sat 30-Mar-13 21:49:51

How do you know?

<Takes thread seriously>

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 21:49:58

Is that you cozie, or have you been taken over by a zombie computer?

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:49:59

<steals usuals vodka>

AllYoursBabooshka Sat 30-Mar-13 21:50:16

A DDOS (Distributed Denial Of Services) attack/attempt has absolutely nothing to do with members passwords. It is a web server being disabled due to too much traffic for it to handle.

ie. 50 people hitting the refresh button 1000 times a second for an hour.

Don't Do Nutty Shits?
That's just good sense.

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 21:50:50

Don't tell them your name, cozie

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:51:01

It's Invasion of The Bodysnatchers.

Call Donald Sutherland!


I am so aware I need another glass of wine.

Oh fuck, I totally raided the OFRS last week and it's the Easter weekend so no shops will be open.

DDNS you bastards

AllYoursBabooshka Sat 30-Mar-13 21:51:25

And who the flippity fuck is comodo?!

My mind...

ROAR usual

AWimbaWay Sat 30-Mar-13 21:51:31
AllYoursBabooshka Sat 30-Mar-13 21:52:55

<jumps up and down>

Dat's what I said!

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:53:27

Commodo was that there Roman Emperor on Gladiator.

Or was it Commodus?

MammaTJ Sat 30-Mar-13 21:54:05

Upgrade your security on your computer maybe?

Tee2072 Sat 30-Mar-13 21:54:28

Your passwords have nothing to do with a DDOS.

Perhaps it's time for bed?

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:54:52

Aww, don't be going all sensible now Mamma.

I need the fun.

Oh my tomatoes! The leaf, it is growing. And the eyes, the eyes...they watch. They waaaatch my pretty little ones. Now is the time for the graveyard to sink, yes, sink, sink, sink, AHAHAHAHA, in the paint tin is our beginning, yes, the paint tin.

DDNS...is coming for yooooooo.

well yes, I'm with Tee here, cos she knows her onions, techy-wise

I mean, she even does ::this:: with the comma thingies, that wot PROPER techies do <admiring>

Salmotrutta Sat 30-Mar-13 21:56:00

Steady on!

GobTheGoblin Sat 30-Mar-13 21:56:52


AWimbaWay Sat 30-Mar-13 21:57:24

Sorry AllYoursBabooshka, must admit to not actually reading any of the thread, was just passing time waiting for my bath to run smile.

Kleptronic Sat 30-Mar-13 21:58:03

Heh sadeyed that should win a competition.

Take the unicorns tail, it will guide thee, like a mushroom sprite through the tree.

DDNS...is watching yooooo.

AllYoursBabooshka Sat 30-Mar-13 22:01:04

grin Wimba, I was joking.

I want a bath now.

Stroke mine hair. Doth it please you? DDNS wilt please thou more. Caress it but once for an hour, then circle it widdershins.

AllYoursBabooshka Sat 30-Mar-13 22:03:01

Why are you trying to scare people cozietoesie?

Are you plotting something?

<stares at over spectacles>

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 22:04:26

Yes the bath sounds like a safe bet,I heard they don't like water. Or is that gremlins?

I'm always getting my gremlins and my DDNSs mixed up.

The raspberries do but encircle DDNS. They embrace and they encompass.

kim147 Sat 30-Mar-13 22:06:05

There was a large DDOS last week. Spamhaus were targeted.
There's a lot of it about. But who would want to deny us access to MN?

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 22:07:01

Maybe MNHQ have had enough of us?

Anyone else crapping themselves over saddeyed lady's story?
Just me then confused

RandallPinkFloyd Sat 30-Mar-13 22:09:45

Don't get it, the again I'm not very bright so it's no surprising.


What on earth are you on about OP??

Distributed Denial of Service is DDOS and wouldn't mean changing any passwords, also, we'd probably notice it.

DDNS (Dynamic DNS) is just about dynamic IP addresses and would also have sod all to do with passwords.

So, erm, back to your OP, there are a lot of DDNS around. It's not exactly concerning. Panicking that there are dynamic IPs really?

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 22:12:56

Sadeyes story is scaring me more than the DDNSs.

KatieScarlett Tis ok, you see it too. The mulberry bush will depart with no victims.

The DDNS shall passeth over our heads.

Does anyone have some drugs that make this thread seem logical?

USUALLLLLLLL where'd yow come from?

And no bollox! [impuressed]

It bit me!!!!!

Yup, MurGo, I have M&S choc raspberries, they're so bleurgh, they'll spliff you off.

usual your eyes have seen the coming of the rhubarb. Remain still. When the DDNS reveals itself, all shall be well in the new kingdom. We will evade the DDNS.

AllYoursBabooshka Sat 30-Mar-13 22:16:37

<points at sadeyedlady>

Witch! Burn her!

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 22:16:45

I never flounced, I just had a break, Chaos. grin

I'm not sure I made the right decision to come back what with the DDNSs coming for us.

lol, just say no to choc raspberries?

LineRunner Sat 30-Mar-13 22:17:07

The Emperor Commode bit his own bum. True historical fact.

Lueji Sat 30-Mar-13 22:17:29

Maybe it was attack of the acronyms.

Looks discretely to both sides and assumes Krav Maga defence/attack position.

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:18:21
Lueji Sat 30-Mar-13 22:18:57

Maybe it was meant as the comodo dragon.
Not sure I'd want one around when going, though...

Yesssss Worrrrrraaaaaaaa

Your lack of faith is disturbing Babooshka But the muntjac will still leap. Yea, also will the DDNS adore pavlova.

Naice to see you back then, ya flake!

Major public serbice announcement in the pipeline, MurGo. wink

Valpollicella Sat 30-Mar-13 22:20:36

DDOS would mean we wouldn't be posting grin

Worra, make us a hat while you'r at it. I've no tin foil left

RandallPinkFloyd Sat 30-Mar-13 22:21:40

Do I need my tin foil hat?

I feel woefully underprepared. My OFRS is a Mickey Mouse back pack and all it has in it so far is a mars bar and a pair of flat shoes.

RandallPinkFloyd Sat 30-Mar-13 22:22:23

X-post val grin

Valpollicella Sat 30-Mar-13 22:22:39


usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 22:22:49

Wait, wait... I hear small cries...the DDNS is coming...adorn yourself with the leaves and fruit the DDNS requires. Bow down, down...the spirit is amongst us.

AllYoursBabooshka Sat 30-Mar-13 22:23:44

No tin foil here either. sad

I have zip lock sandwich bags but they don't fit over my head... Baking parchment?

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:23:55
LineRunner Sat 30-Mar-13 22:24:19

I put one of my cats in my OFRS <sentimental> but it didn't work out in the long term.

Get you and your Mickey Mouse backpack, Randall, you raging name-dropper !
( lifts ASDA poly bag and chucks in fags)

And now the tinned tomato arises. He rejects the DDNS, yet embraces the Martin O'Neill. The tomato can only be sad.

DDNS is turning itself towards other shit.

OhDearieDearieMe Sat 30-Mar-13 22:26:27

Whatever you do................


WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:26:44
Valpollicella Sat 30-Mar-13 22:26:44

Oh my fucking word...that poor cat!

I'll have the bowler style thanks. Although something more fash here

D'ya reckon you could stretch to that?

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:27:53

I'll give it a go Val

But might have to resort to cling film

PoppyWearer Sat 30-Mar-13 22:28:28

<chucks tinned food out of OFRS, rams in gin>

LineRunner Sat 30-Mar-13 22:29:11

Martin O'Neill

AKA Sweet Marie who waits for me?

(It gives him the rage, that does)

FarelyKnuts Sat 30-Mar-13 22:31:08

Only thing I can think of is Dissociative Disorder Not otherwise Specified?

Bluelightsandsirens Sat 30-Mar-13 22:31:41

If it is the end then surely we must eat all of the Easter eggs now?

Shit chocolate and red wine don't go SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO

<breaths into paper back>

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:32:41

Hand it over to me Bluelights

I'll make it go

<< kind >>

Lueji Sat 30-Mar-13 22:33:01

I'm not sure a hat will be enough...

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:33:41

Oh and good thinking re breathing into your paper back.

If you breathed into your kindle at a time like this, it could blow us all up.

Lueji Sat 30-Mar-13 22:34:25

<Takes point about Easter chocolates...>
<moves to kitchen>

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 22:34:26
WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:34:29

You're right Lueji

We'll also need that cannabis plant growing out of your head.

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:35:21

A tinfoil hat complete with side bollocks usual? grin

How very you

Lueji Sat 30-Mar-13 22:35:50

That may help indeed.
They'll never see it coming.

usualsuspect Sat 30-Mar-13 22:35:59

Has OP been seen again?

Oh dearie dearie, don't you mean, Don't..

Valpollicella Sat 30-Mar-13 22:36:39

mwahahaha [[https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=foil+suit&hl=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=uWhXUbWEKaq50QXc2oH4CA&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=705#hl=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=tin+foil+suit&oq=tin+foil+suit&gs_l=img.3..0.8567.9172.0.9712.,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.44442042,d.d2k&fp=4815babfc953635f&biw=1366&bih=705&imgrc=kdwEjtcu5FCnLM%3A%3BGkugLd5hbQYIAM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.pwnage.ro%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2009%252F11%252Ftinfoil-costume-fail.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.cercledesguildes.net%252Ft4690p15-gn-fail-cosplay-fail%3B375%3B500 lets go the whole way Lueji grin

I've a 60m roll of foil that I'm willing to swap for chocolate and wine.

Valpollicella Sat 30-Mar-13 22:36:51



kim147 Sat 30-Mar-13 22:37:34

Haven't heard from MNHQ. Should we be worried?

alcibiades Sat 30-Mar-13 22:37:50

As others have said, it's a DDOS. They happen from time to time. But at least a DDOS can be casually dropped into a conversation by pronouncing it as "Dee-Doss", even when drunk. Glod knows how I'd say DDNS after a several of vino.

In other news, I somehow managed to download a toolbar hijacker called Mixi.DJ. That gave me nightmares of rabid rabbits in control of a wedding reception music.

Also, you are all amateurs with your tin foil hats

RandallPinkFloyd Sat 30-Mar-13 22:38:10

I have standards, what can I say!

My main problem is that I can't carry DS and the iPad at the same time, deciding between the two is going to be tricky.

Lueji Sat 30-Mar-13 22:38:32

Have they got to you Valpollicella? shock

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:39:29
PoppyWearer Sat 30-Mar-13 22:40:08

<snarfs Easter eggs>

Bluelightsandsirens Sat 30-Mar-13 22:45:02

Paper back? I'm blaming panic or red wine.

Binky I'm up for swapping, I have red wine and a rolo Easter egg?

I'm also interested in finding out more about your glod who knows everything al? He may be able to help if MNHQ are too pissed to care?

OhDearieDearieMe Sat 30-Mar-13 22:45:35

Is it safe to go to sleep? Should I kip with a crucifix and and wodge of garlic under the pillow? <<<worried>>>

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 22:47:35
OhDearieDearieMe Sat 30-Mar-13 22:51:07

grin worra

I have decided to go with the full body armour and hope they come for me in the 'lost' hour when we transfer to BST. Cunning huh? I think so!

Valpollicella Sat 30-Mar-13 22:51:50

Worra, thats fab! Will stop any probes...don't know why they don't come as standard with the hat...? Surely protecting the two most vulnerable 'areas' goes hand in hand

<pities those who just got for the hat>

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Mar-13 23:12:22

I don't know Dearie, I'm starting to think spending the evening with Aliens might be a fair alternative to MN tonight? grin

Val it also comes in crotchless...should a good probing not go amiss on a Saturday night.

I'm sure you can make your own alterations...

Tee2072 Sun 31-Mar-13 06:03:40

Sorry I went to bed. Everyone still in one piece?

It comes...it comes...turn your face from the light my dearie...the blue flower shall grow and so shall the oak tree. Look not into the soul of the DDNS for only will it reflect what is in your heart.

Found it!!!

SadOldGit Sun 31-Mar-13 16:41:05

yay - snap

Shit saddeyedlady left another message and I missed it ( looks around fearfully and dons tinfoil hat ) shock

See very odd this weekend

What happened to the other thread? Did sadeyedlady get it?

usualsuspect Sun 31-Mar-13 17:40:55

This thread makes more sense than that one.


Bleat grin

Look, look, closer, yea, closer, yes, the feather it bends but does not crack the ripples. The DDNS shines brightly tonight. Hasten ye home and clutch to thee one brown egg.

SadOldGit Sun 31-Mar-13 21:13:10


usualsuspect Sun 31-Mar-13 21:14:45

I have saved all the foil from my childrens 60 easter eggs.

I'm safe.

Know you not the teeth of the DDNS usual? Know you not the skittering clitter clatter of their dental form? Aye, teeth like needles indeed, and favour they the tikky takky of the shiny metallic form. Know it well and stroke the ear of corn.

usualsuspect Sun 31-Mar-13 21:48:57



( hides under bed )

Be not afeared. For when the haunting comes it shall entrance thee. Does not the ferret stalk the ball? And the magpie shall be for sorrow. The moon shall reveal the secret.

Forewarned is forearmed. Follow, follow the shadow.

I love you sadeyedlady grin

Catbag Sun 31-Mar-13 22:17:31

This thread has made my evening smile

Katie The love shall hold thee like the snail holds the screwdriver. Hard. HARD.

And yet is it also not written that the owl shall enslave the turning circle? Watch the lights.

It is close.

usualsuspect Sun 31-Mar-13 22:25:03

Sadeyes is all knowing. Bow down before her.

DDNS! He comes! He comes! Hear you not his slithery stamping?

Bow down not before me, but before the DDNS. Bow down before he claims you. For he has seen your elbow and knows its thoughts of gravel.

usualsuspect Sun 31-Mar-13 22:27:15

I think sadeyes has made me laugh more than anyone else on MN, ever grin

usualsuspect Sun 31-Mar-13 22:28:55

I'm also a little bit scared of her.

Laugh, yes, laugh, for in the vortex of the DDNS, are we not all as one voice? Shall we not eat the mascara that is the sound of merriment?

And many eggcups will clang with the sound of the dolls head. DDNS knows this. This is why you are chosen.

Oh my <hides again>

Helpless gringringringringrin

Helpless thou shalt not be when the DDNS is in possession.


For is it not written that the otter will hide the Austrian smoked cheese? And in so doing, will you dance, yes, dance, beneath the moonlight. Your vest will be unchanged.

It comes anon! The creaking of the cricket bat is leading me ever onwards... To the cellar, my precious children! To the cellar!

( runs to cellar)
( remembers I don't HAVE a cellar)

Pending Sun 31-Mar-13 23:22:28

Gulp! I don't have a cellar. What do I do? What do I do?!!

My bloody cellar Katie! FFS hmm


The wind. The wind. It calleth me, do you not hear it? It singeth and promises a DDNS free tomorrow. The tree...the tree...it is a silver birch. A salamander! She has a face of pearl.

Ah shite, sorry! grin

Salmotrutta Sun 31-Mar-13 23:28:58

<peeks in>

Have the DDOS got you all yet?

Do you have clean pants?

I'm headed for sadeyedladys cellar.
I'm going to end up in Take A Break, aren't I? With sadface and beige patent heels talking about my trauma wink

Do you fucking mind? I'm channeling here. Fuxache.


There is a wispy...the wispiness of the...the wisping...

Oh fuckkit.

<deep breath, relights incense, rearranges third eye>

The boots! Look how they crack! The branch, it is laden, yet fruitless. And yet...the whispering continues...is it the hedgehog? The shadow is drawing ever closer.

usualsuspect Sun 31-Mar-13 23:46:15

Has the cellar got a bar? I may need alcohol to get me through the night.

Closer...closer... DDNS draws ever closer. Dig your fingernails into the boards, my angels, the storm howls. Ignore the rabbit with the cape, he is not of our concern. Yet when the cask shall break...

It is broken! He is here!


usualsuspect Mon 01-Apr-13 00:00:53


The howling hurricane is upon us, yet the elm speaketh not. Throw an acorn into the cakestand, it may yet save you. Oh! Oh! The dryad is comb

Mm mum mmmmmmmm
( tied up and gagged in sadeyedladys dungeon)

She breathes

SadOldGit Mon 01-Apr-13 10:08:43

am I safe - I never made it to the cellar?

usualsuspect Mon 01-Apr-13 10:36:09

Is Katie still in the cellar? <worries>

Katie. Katie. Yes, I remember Katie. She is safe from further harm now. DDNS cannot hurt her ever again

But see! The offside rule will render all badgers useless. Then where shall we sleep tonight? Perhaps under the horsemen when they eat their own. And yet the cleaved oak tree hath carved the special leek.

The shadow. The shadow. It is coming again. Hear you the ghostly tapping on the window?

Tap tap. Tap tap.

Why is my head sore? And where is my nuns habit??? And WHO is Roger?????

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