To not understand why some people have everyone bum licking them and running around after them?

(54 Posts)
GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:15:24

And they're usually very self centred people too, with everyone falling over themselves to be their friend and to kiss their arse!

I know two people who are like this; they are both my friends in real life and they are also on my Facebook friends list. Both seem to do various attention seeking statuses each day, and make very little effort for others. Both have people falling over themselves to tell them how wonderful they are and how much they love them. And people always saying they want to meet up with them.

One in particular seems to have quite a dramatic life, well I think she finds drama in everything. She just has to post she's broken a toe nail and people are outraged on her behalf, offering her hugs and asking if there's anything she can do to help.

I don't get it. How do these people collect friends/hangers on?

Fleecyslippers Fri 29-Mar-13 22:16:29

Delete them from FB then you won't have to worry.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Fri 29-Mar-13 22:17:08

grin at 'broken a toe nail'.

Sorry, not helpful, I know.

InNeedOfBrandy Fri 29-Mar-13 22:17:24

Are you jealous? Do you need attention?

GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:17:32

I can't; I know them both in real life, and see them all the time (school run)

OHforDUCKScake Fri 29-Mar-13 22:18:05

I know exactly what you mean.

Always I think who are all the AwwHuns that keep replying. Are they not normal?

GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:18:24

I don't know, InNeedofBrandy. I do often feel I don't have a single person in the world who gives a shit about me, apart from DH.

YouTheCat Fri 29-Mar-13 22:18:25

If deleting them would be awkward (not that these types would notice if you did tbh), then just hide all their posts.

hopefloats Fri 29-Mar-13 22:18:29

This is why I don't Facebook anymore. Go on, try it. There is more to life than reading nonsense posted by those brainless fuckers.

greencolorpack Fri 29-Mar-13 22:18:29

I can relate, I have an old school friend like that... She clicks her fingers and four of our old friend gang come running. If I throw a party and invite them, if this friend comes they all come. If she doesn't come, they all don't come. And I invite them all at the same time on Facebook so I don't know how they all psychically know about what the alpha friend thinks of my parties. But sure enough if she comes they all do.

I don't get it either.

Fleecyslippers Fri 29-Mar-13 22:19:36

You 'can't ? What will happen if you don't ? Will the world stop turning ?How old are you/they ?

GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:20:11

OhforDUCKScake, I always think the same thing. Who are these people? Why are they so taken in by it all? And where do they all keep appearing from?

One friend did a status today about having a cough and got 68 replies! 68! Half of them were from mums at the school asking if there's anything they can do to help. I guarantee if I posted about feeling ill none would bother with me or one might say "Oh dear" or something equally unsympathetic

InNeedOfBrandy Fri 29-Mar-13 22:20:33

Maybe you need to make up some funny statuses (did I spell that right) and find that warm fuzzy feeling of people liking your posts grin. I actually love that feeling and do count my likes ('_')

HollyBerryBush Fri 29-Mar-13 22:21:16

"bum licking" is a phrase my 12yo would use

YouTheCat Fri 29-Mar-13 22:22:36

Mine would have said 'arse-licking', at 12. grin

GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:22:43

I like the phrase 'bum licking'. I think it's extremely descriptive....

GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:23:07

That's what it is, after all

aldiwhore Fri 29-Mar-13 22:26:36

Hmm FB is a bugger. I make a lot of statuses that I openly admit (on the status itself) are unashamedly attention seeking.. but it's all done tongue in cheek. FB is odd, people call each other DHARLLLLINK but then avoid each other in RL (although I call people Dharlink in both world, at least I'm consistent). I am also a drama queen, self confessed, openly... it's the stealthy ones you want to watch I reckon.

However, I do know a few not very nice people who DO seem to have the wolrd falling at their feet, otherwise strong intelligent women thrusting themselves into puddles so Queen Bee doesn't get her pedicured feet dirty, and it IS all a bit cringey, and I just don't get it.

I put it down to Jedi Force. If you expect and demand a certain mode of behaviour, if you belittle openly those who fall short, you do gather a following of people who are either desperate to be accepted, or desparate to prove they're worthy, or equally as horrible, or just scared to be picked on, or simply those who just don't wanted any hassle.

It's not genuine. In my experience, when a queen falls she falls alone, and actually it's very sad to watch, in an almost 'told you so' way.

FB isn't the problem, people are, and people bring normal problems into your living room. Tis entertaining so long as you're not the target of amusement by a Queen Bee. Ignoring them is the best policy. (HIDE, don't BLOCK... not if you have mutual friends).

GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:28:23

Very good points there, Aldiwhore!

I think you are right; these people attract people that are desperate to be accepted, or who are too nice, and then everyone starts replying because everyone else seems to be replying and they want to be part of it all.

HollyBerryBush Fri 29-Mar-13 22:29:40

they get 68 replies and you get none? Well therein layeth the tale ; they are popular and people like them.

TheEasterQODdy Fri 29-Mar-13 22:33:17

I have a friend who today announced she hasn't been on for ages due to "significant health issues"

There are about 70 responses now, some of which are her saying "ah thanks babe" etc


GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:34:28

Annoying isn't it TheEaster? Cringey to read at times

CharmingCats Fri 29-Mar-13 22:35:26

I've also stopped facebooking. It's quite liberating! My reasons arer similar to what you mention, but also I'm ttc and don't want to look at all the babies/scans etc. I am now living very happily without the drivel & self love.

TheEasterQODdy Fri 29-Mar-13 22:35:55

Yup, and no one has outright asked, and I can't comment cos I want to say, you know, it's been hmmmm about 8 days, no one missed you and well.... Meow. Stop me.

You talk about your 'friends' (your words) like this?

Hmm maybe this is why you aren't as popular - you sound jealous and your post is quite bitch. If you give off that vibe in person you may be sabotaging yourself.


GreenJeans Fri 29-Mar-13 22:40:45

Ah well there we go then, I'm clearly a total bitch.

Thanks for that Coola, you've helped me make total sense of my life hmm

paintyourbox Fri 29-Mar-13 22:44:50

This is why I don't FB.

Chances are if you think their statuses are annoying, so do other people. I was surprised when 2 of my friends told me they'd blocked a mutual colleague because of all her annoying attention seeking status updates.

I was glad it wasn't just me who found it annoying we don't care that this is the 3rd body pump class you have been to this week and that you now need a hot man to massage your sore muscles

Theshriekingharpy Fri 29-Mar-13 22:48:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Failedhippy Fri 29-Mar-13 22:49:12

Delete Facebook, I did this about one year ago and (ashamedly) my life is better for it. Honestly...give it a will have less of the crap that annoys you.

Theshriekingharpy Fri 29-Mar-13 22:52:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aldiwhore Fri 29-Mar-13 23:02:55

Saying "This is why I don't do FB" is a little like saying "Well, this is why I don't do life"... even though FB is a choice and life kind of isn't (well that's debatable and a whole other thread).

FB isn't the issue. The way we look at it is, the way we use it, and assume. Most fall outs between people I know have been down to assumption, reading between lines, paranoia and the omission of asking for clarity either in real life or online.

On the other hand, some people are twats (I'm liking this word) and there's nothing you can really do about them on FB or RL (but you can hide them on FB and FROM them in RL, to a certain degree).

The open ended statuses are irritating and force you to be nosey... the "I'm so fucking angry" status, for example... I usally say 'Oh why? You okay?' which seems to be to be a reasonable response. But SO MANY others simply put "Aw hun, hugs hun, you hun, hun" or 'supportive' messages when they clearly don't know the reason and clearly WANT to know the reason (as do I) - the reason could be "I'm really angry because I just stabbed my neighbour and their blood is staining my blouse" (aw hun, hugs hun, love you hun) - so why are people scared to say 'What's up?' and why can't people be specific!! Seeing as a status invites responses.

And breathe.

BUT.... YABU purely because you're mixing lots of 'people types' in one hatred, and being guilty of half of them and in agreement of others I cannot completely say YANBU. [GRIN]

(I'm ever so ranty tonight, I do apologise, but I'm not telling you why, kiss my arse wink)

lisaloeb Fri 29-Mar-13 23:15:01

I ignore a lot of what is said on FB, I know who to respond to who may be in need and who is an attention seeking arse. Others seem to lack this gene and is everything ok hun is somehow programmed in their memory.

Anyone who is an attention seeking arse gets deleted.

Airwalk79 Fri 29-Mar-13 23:30:03

I don't post anything on Facebook. Anyone I'm bothered about I see / speak to.
I would come off it, but I'm far too nosey. I Have some slight aquaintences on there that are absolutely fantastic! Some of the stuff they choose to put in there is mind blowing!
It's better than any soap!

pigletpower Sat 30-Mar-13 01:07:03

I find it a lot like that on Mumsnet to be honest.

LoopaDaLoopa Sat 30-Mar-13 01:17:00

Perhaps you need to be looking at why no-one wants to sympathise with you rather than why they do with your friends. If they are your friends, you need to be a bit kinder. If not, why does it matter? Hide them on FB so you can't see them if it bothers you that people like them. You sound very insecure.

DramaLlamaFarmer Sat 30-Mar-13 01:18:08

Accept your over 18 and quit using facebook?

DramaLlamaFarmer Sat 30-Mar-13 01:18:56

How lax of me. Clearly I meant, you ARE rather than your. Carry on.

vivizone Sat 30-Mar-13 01:20:41

I know exactly what you mean. There is someone on my FB page who constantly puts her life out there. From arguing with her husband to making up, informing us when she is going to sleep, what sexy PJ she has chosen to wear to go to sleep in and what she hopes to dream about. She has so MANY people flocking to her 'oh hunny gud nite xxx sweet dreamz lovz u'.

She was going through a genuine tough time with illness in her family and I guess she didn't like that not all on her FB friends inquired what was up, so she put up a status of

'hope those who have read my status and not commented never have to go through what I am going through, cos when it happens to YOU, I will sit back and not say anything and see how you like it. All my true friends have commented'. Blah blah blah. She is good comedy though.

People offer her babysitting services, car drives to the supermarket, clothes for the kids, it's endless. Her friends appear to either really like her or want her approval. She never offers anything in return that I see from there.

Every month she has a new best buddy with the usual 'luves me bestie 4ever an ever. Thanxs for my prezzi hunni I love the dress and shoes'.

Oh my goodness I am such a bitch but that felt good to get out! blush

YouTheCat Sat 30-Mar-13 01:24:06

Anyone over the age of 14 you types 'luvs me bestie' or anything of a similar ilk, should be put up against a wall and shot for the sake of humanity.

DramaLlamaFarmer Sat 30-Mar-13 01:26:38

YouTheCat - u av got it so rong hun xx it int about how its spelt u no? xx

pollypandemonium Sat 30-Mar-13 01:27:02

FB relationships are a reflection of RL and I find it fascinating how people use it in different ways. I have the extremely popular drama queen friend who posts about everything and gets loads of responses. If I communicated in the same way that she did I would probably get the same. But I don't, instead I post what I feel like when I feel like it and that naturally attracts people that are a bit like me.

I think the trick with FB is to be yourself. There's no point in doing it otherwise.

WhoDat Sat 30-Mar-13 01:30:25

vivizone I don't have anyone like that on FB, I wish I did though. My friends are all very emotionally stable. Boring feckers. I adore FB though as I'm an expat and love seeing my friends, and especially their kids. I feel less lonely for them all! All in all a top way to keep in touch with minimal effort. But I'm pretty lazy and very nosy grin

YouTheCat Sat 30-Mar-13 01:32:00

Aw Drama grin I have no fucking idea what that says. I am so old.

I post tonnes of cat pictures and comedy links on fb. My current status is 'Omg disco on bbc4 :D Sublime :D'

I don't take myself too seriously. And I don't expect anyone else to either.

Booyhoo Sat 30-Mar-13 01:33:48

goodness. i think i'd feel quite claustrophobic if i got 68 responses to a status update on FB. i'd think it was april fools' day and they'd all conspired to make me think i was suddenly popular. i'd probably even hoover in anticipation of my hoardes of visitors grin

DramaLlamaFarmer Sat 30-Mar-13 01:34:15

I have no idea either, I just try to emulate my niece who tells me I am far too old to be still using up useful oxygen for under 30s! I feel I should end with something that sounds like innit and perhaps call you bruv?! grin

YouTheCat Sat 30-Mar-13 01:35:53

Just don't call me 'Shirley' grin

DramaLlamaFarmer Sat 30-Mar-13 01:40:39

No probs.


YouTheCat Sat 30-Mar-13 01:44:14

!!! shock

DramaLlamaFarmer Sat 30-Mar-13 01:47:24

She said WHAT NOW? That beeeeeee yatch. <fisticuffs>

purplecushion Sat 30-Mar-13 02:08:47

Facebook attention seekers are annoying its better to hide them and then you don't have to read all the rubbish.

One girl I was friendly with who hated a lot of people and got bullied at school has all the bullies and people who ignored her at school as fb friends and likes all their stuff.

Another girl i know stole a guy off someone and now she's married him and her and the ex who he has a couple of kids with are mates on fb and like every sentence each other says.

Another one moans about being in a lot of pain but is always out boozing, and always getting takeaways and shopping. Her daughters's 12 and things about 50 shades of Grey are all over her page. I havent read that book but I dont think its suitable for 12 and a half year olds from what Ive heard of it or is this normal?

purplecushion Sat 30-Mar-13 02:16:29

Yanbu! Forgot to say that and I also find it irritating when people keep posting pictures of their nails every couple of weeks! And get about 30 or 40 likes.

No wonder soap viewing figures have gone down its not because of Sky it's becuse everybodys logging into Facebook to see what the new nails and hairdos or nights out pictures followed by 10 pictures of their kids and how they love them soooo much!

greencolorpack Sat 30-Mar-13 22:57:35

I'm avoiding FB at the moment because I finally have something to boast about and I don't want to because other people on there last year boasted so crassly that I withdrew from them completely. So I don't want to boast. So I dont want to say anything at all.

Most of the status messages I put up are looking for validation and approval from my mum and I never get it. I tried spelling out how hard life was when mil was dying and we needed more help with the kids and I said something like "I wish dh had more family around him" and my mum posted back "he has you, love" spectacularly missing the point, and so I posted a picture of Marie Antoinette saying "let them eat cake" which my mum would not get cos she doesnt get subtext.

I guess what I am saying is life is hard and posting your real emotional needs on FB is pointless and a one way ticket to feeling even more desolate and loserish. Still. Mustn't grumble!

JustinBsMum Sat 30-Mar-13 23:32:32

this is blatantly a new challenge to you Green Jeans to see how long it takes you to up your responses to a status update.

I think a 68 responses challenge would be asking too much but how about 4 next week, 8 the week after, onwards and upwards, until you are happily one of the bum-licked!

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