Aibu - if you saw someone fall over would you go and help them up or would you leave them?

(86 Posts)
HepzibahFlurge Thu 28-Mar-13 15:12:36

I have bone cancer in my entire left leg and have difficulty walking but love taking my dog out onto a field behind my flat. I Usually let her off the lead to run after a ball which she loves but I know that if my dog is off the lead and sees another dog she will run to it to try and play. Therefore if I see another dog I will automatically put mine back on the lead as there is no way I can run after her. She is a well behaved dog on the lead and has been to training classes.

The other day out walking I saw a couple with a puppy off the lead. Straight away I put my dog on the lead. The puppy came running over and started pestering mine. We had been out for a while so I decided to go home. Their dog followed me and still kept pestering after mine. The puppy's owners kept calling her to come to them (which she ignored) but didn't come over and take her away

I went to turn to put my poo bag in the bin as my dog pulled on the lead in the opposite direction. This caught me by surprise and I fell over flat on my face into a pool of mud. This is the first time my dog has ever done this to me

The fall was heavy and winded me and I started to cry. What upset me even more was that still the couple did not put their dog on the lead and worse didn't come over to help me out of the mud and just stood and laughed. I begged for help to get up as I couldn't get up but they ignored me. Luckily I fell on my non -cancer leg as could have done myself serious damage. At this stage I was lying on the ground with my dog sat next to me and their puppy jumping on me.

Luckily my mum had arrived to visit me and ran to the field and helped me up. She got hold of my dog and the other couples and shouted 'Come and get your dog'. Eventually they came over but with no questions about how I was and no offers of help. They took their dog and walked off (Still with it off the lead). I went home and cried as I was shocked by the fall

Both me and my mum were shocked that people would not help a person up when they fell over. I know it was my dog which made me fall so will need to think about where I walk her in future for my safety

Would you help someone up who fell over? or would you leave them and laugh?

Bluelightsandsirens Thu 28-Mar-13 15:15:17

Their behaviour wasn't normal most decent people would help

I certainly would

Poppet48 Thu 28-Mar-13 15:17:22

I would have definitely gone over to help you up and if I saw the other couple just standing there laughing at you and waiting for there dog I would have had said something to them as well (after helping you out) very sorry OP and I hope you feel better soon.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 28-Mar-13 15:17:51

Jesus. What a pair of bastards. I am really sorry you had to encounter them, OP. I reckon about 95% of people would have helped you up. I think you were very unlucky sad

WTAF? What a pair of utter gobshites shock.

I'm angry on your behalf. flowers for you.

To answer your question, I would definitely have helped. I made DP stop the car at the weekend when I saw an elderly man sitting half on the pavement, half on the road. I thought he'd fallen. Turns out he was fine and just waiting for a bus hmm but I just couldn't have driven past without checking.

TheChimpParadox Thu 28-Mar-13 15:20:11

That is awful !

Hope you are OK .

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 15:20:37

fucking hell what total shits.

Hope you are all right now.

BeCool Thu 28-Mar-13 15:20:48

This proves the adage there aren't bad dogs just shit/inconsiderate/loser people owning them!

What a trauma for you - glad your Mum was there to help you & I hope you feel better now.

Of course I would have, and I would have seen you home safely too.

We certainly live in a world filled with arseholes don't we?

KnockKnockKnockPenny Thu 28-Mar-13 15:22:49

I would have helped you up, so would dh and in fact pretty much everyone I know. Sorry you had to come across these sorry excuse for people. I hope your leg improves.

Hope u ok op too most people do I do always

I have been known to stop my car and help a motorbiker pick his bike off a roundabout loads of cars just drove pass staring.

TheBigJessie Thu 28-Mar-13 15:23:08

I'd help you up! Most people would. I was once on a bus that was driving past just as an old lady on the pavement fell over; the driver came to a screeching stop, and dashed out to pick her up, and everyone on the bus approved!

Purpleknickers Thu 28-Mar-13 15:23:12

I hope Karma (or their puppy) bites their bums

Glad your mum arrived to help I hope you feel better now

BeCool Thu 28-Mar-13 15:23:32

I was 8.5 months PG and helped someone who fell on black ice - I had to waddle across the road to get to her. She landed on the back of her head. I can still hear the sickening sound of her head hitting the pavement all these years later.

I helped her to her place of work and asked them to take her to a doctor. I hope she was OK!

Most people would help.

pollyblue Thu 28-Mar-13 15:24:30

I'm sure most people would help OP - i did recently when a young woman went down like a sack of coal just behind me in town.She said she'd recently been discharged from hospital and was feeling a bit woozy. Several other people came over to help too.

Sorry you encountered such a pair of shits OP

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Thu 28-Mar-13 15:25:37

Wtf?!! What arseholes, any decent person would have helped you up handmade sure you were OK! God I would have made sure you got homeok if necessary.

Hope you are OK xxx

bedmonster Thu 28-Mar-13 15:27:42

Fucking hell, some people are complete arseholes. Honestly, I can't think of a single person I know who wouldn't have offered you at the very least a hand up. And I know some seriously selfish inconsiderate people.
I'm angry on your behalf.
Hope you're recovering and not feeling to shit about it, I reckon you got the 0.1% of pricks.

SilverBellsandCockleShells Thu 28-Mar-13 15:28:14

We pulled over in the car the other day to help a jogger who had clearly done himself an injury. As it was, his wife was on her way, but it does no harm to ask.

Sounds like you were very unlucky OP. Good job your mum was there.

Maggie111 Thu 28-Mar-13 15:28:16

What absolute evil people angry

Ooh I hope something awful happens to them. Nasty nasty horrible people sad

On a practical note, we use a Premier Easy Walk Harness with our dog. He pulled me unexpectedly on occassion in the mud and it was giving me dreadful sciatica. He still pulls now, but there is no "force" behind it, he could never pull me over because the lead attaches to the front of his chest, if he tries to go forwards he literally just gets turned to the side.

Bobyan Thu 28-Mar-13 15:28:29

I'm a nasty bitch and I'd be reporting them for having an out of control dog, just to give them the hassle of having to deal with the local police team and teach them a lesson about how to look after a dog.

Meerkatwhiskers Thu 28-Mar-13 15:30:14

I def would have helped you. I'm a nurse so it's instinct and also against my professional code of conduct not to stop and help.

What a pair of arseholes that other couple are.

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Thu 28-Mar-13 15:30:25

sad Hope you're OK, OP. I would help. ds has helped an old lady when she fell in the street and we both walked her to a cafe so that she could sit down (he's 13). People watched as he ran to help her, they didn't say anything or offer to help. sad

jeanmiguelfangio Thu 28-Mar-13 15:30:26

That's awful, hope you are ok, I'd definitely try to help someone up if they fell, and as for the puppy that's awful too

I would help but certainly not everyone does.

I have relapsing remitting MS & this sometimes affects my sight. I was out running one evening in the dusk (not my brightest idea) and misjudged a kerb and fell over.

One person stepped over me.
One person walked around me.
One person watched from their parked car.


Meerkatwhiskers Thu 28-Mar-13 15:31:00

btw hope you are OK and thank god your mum was there xx

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Thu 28-Mar-13 15:32:14

They were utter shites. I am so angry and sad to hear they behaved like that towards you.

An elderly man slipped over on the high street near me and dropped his shopping, which went flying all over the pavement. A lady (presumably his wife) was with him but she didn't look strong enough to lift him up. I am thankful to say that half a dozen people (myself included) ran over to help him up & gather up the shopping.

Machli Thu 28-Mar-13 15:32:20

I would. I have. I hope you're ok now.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 15:33:24

Any decent person would have helped.

Of course they would.

Pore ol you xx

justpaddling Thu 28-Mar-13 15:35:11

I would help but I would wait a.minute before I did. This is only because if I fall over I feel a total idiot, clamber to my feet looking around hoping no one saw me and I hate people fussing. I assume others may feel the same. However if I'd hurt myself I would hope to be offered some assistance. If the person did not get up immediately I'd definately go and help in whatever way I could.

MechanicalTheatre Thu 28-Mar-13 15:35:36

What utter twats. Sorry you had such a horrible experience.

I was quite heartened recently to see everyone rushing to help a young woman who fainted on a train. Literally everyone in the carriage was asking if she was ok, if she needed a tissue/water/something to eat, and then two people she didn't know got off at her stop and offered to walk her home. This is in London, a city that people say so often is "unfriendly". I was so cheered up by everyone offering to help her.

MyNameIsAnAnagram Thu 28-Mar-13 15:38:48

I would have yes.

Sadly your experience doesn't surprise me though as I am 33 wks pregnant and fell over yesterday in a supermaket carpark, right on to my front and no-one came to help. My DH was knocked off his bike years ago into a main road and no-one stopped for him either.

I hope you are ok and not too shaken up.

i agree with all the pp. i tend to keep myself to myself when out and about... but if i see someone fall/having probs or whatever, then i would defo help.

Summerblaze Thu 28-Mar-13 15:50:25

I certainly would have done and have in the past gone over to help someone.

My uncle recently had a massive heart attack in a service station car park. Luckily he had got out of the car and collapsed. A couple stopped to help him. If they hadn't he would most definitely had died.

What these people did to you was cruel. It wasn't as if you fell and they waited to see if you got up and did the whole "gosh I hope noone saw me" thing. You were crying and asking for help. What nasty bastards. I hope you are ok.

rumbelina Thu 28-Mar-13 15:52:17

They are not the norm, stupid twats. I would offer help to anyone who fell, regardless of age or ability. It's common decency.

Try not to let the buggers get you down. Sorry about your cancer sad

Footface Thu 28-Mar-13 15:54:35

Disgusting behaviour from the couple. They should be ashamed. Hope you're feeling a bit better now

thebody Thu 28-Mar-13 15:54:56

Nobody I know from any age or generation would not have failed to help you.

I guess 99.9% of human beings would have.

Think you were very unlucky and they are totally disgraceful.

Hope you are ok op, please don't take this to heart, most people are normal nice.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Thu 28-Mar-13 15:58:12

Complete bastards. Poor you, that must have hurt, not just physically.

ChunkyPickle Thu 28-Mar-13 16:00:53

Not the norm at all - I would have come over to help (and have done when I've seen people fall), and even if you'd got up I would have been over apologising and checking you were OK.

angelos02 Thu 28-Mar-13 16:01:41

I would have thought it was a natural human instinct to help someone in that instance. I know I have. When I was younger (early 20's) there was a man clearly drunk collapsed over and I helped him up.

neverputasockinatoaster Thu 28-Mar-13 16:51:13

I would have come to see if you needed help.

Years ago my Grandfather slipped on a patch of ice and fell. He lay on the ground calling for help as he couldn't get up. He was ignored by a large number of people, one couple waved cheerily at him as they walked past.

He had broken his hip.

xigris Thu 28-Mar-13 16:56:55

Utter utter wankers. That's shocking behaviour. One of the school mums tripped and fell over in front of me yesterday and everyone rushed to help her up, she was fine but that's not the point. Those filthy people are the exception rather than the rule ime. I really feel for you and hope that karma catches up with them soon. flowers for you

DeepRedBetty Thu 28-Mar-13 17:02:41

I was all prepared to wonder if it was a case of the crowd all waiting for someone else to do something - which is a recognised phenomenon in busy public places, or a thinking you were drunk situation, which might put some people off. But it's utter obvious that neither of those two scenarios could possibly apply in which case I sincerely hope their puppy craps all over their house and chews one of each of their shoes.

HepzibahFlurge Thu 28-Mar-13 17:05:06

Thank you everyone for your good wishes
Its a shame that what happened to me seems to be a common event which I find really sad
I am fine - my leg is really bruised and sore but that's all - I am so relieved that I fell on that leg as the last time I fell on my cancer leg I broke my hip and needed a hip replacement. Currently waiting on a knee replacement (again cancer leg). My oncologist checked me over this morning and I was still able to have my chemo which was one of my worries

Hope we won't bump into that couple again as DH is so cross (still)

I agree - I want karma to bite them on the bum!

cuteboots Thu 28-Mar-13 17:05:18

What total twats ! I hope you are ok. I would have helped you but Im afraid there alot of people who just dont want to get involved nowadays. Very sad state of affairs

Mama1980 Thu 28-Mar-13 17:05:33

This awful. I have Serious motility issues following a car crash 5 years ago currently wheelchair bound. I fall over regularly and never once has no one stopped to help me, I usually get people rushing over instantly, as I would do. I hope you're ok and think you were just unlucky to meet these awful people!

trinity0097 Thu 28-Mar-13 17:08:12

If someone fell over I would wait a moment first before helping, I.e. if they got up and appeared fine I wouldn't rush over, but if they remained on the floor, had split shopping etc i would obviously help them.

EarlyInTheMorning Thu 28-Mar-13 17:09:26

Absolutely 100% I would have helped. What a pair of idiots. Hope you're okay OP.thanks

Mumsyblouse Thu 28-Mar-13 17:10:05

I have fainted a few times in public, and most times, people stop to help and I've had some very good experiences with strangers helping me (e.g. once giving me money after I was locked out and needed to get a taxi to my friend's house even though they knew they would never get it back). But, I did once faint as the Tube doors were opening onto the platform, and yes, a lot of people did sigh/walk over me, until a lovely Tube employee came to help. So, in the main, I have had positive experiences and always help others (indeed helped a partially sighted guy this week who had got confused by roadworkds) but the odd time I've seen the less caring side of some people.

HortyGal Thu 28-Mar-13 17:10:15

I think you met a couple of sociopaths. They cannot help it, they have differently wired brains.

I hope your leg improves HepzibahFlurge.

I can't believe how awful they were. How could you not only stand there doing nothing, but laugh while their dog leaps on you? angry

What is the matter with people? sad

MrsKoala Thu 28-Mar-13 17:14:52

sad that sounds awful.

I once tripped over the hem of my trousers at the top of the stairs just outside canary wharf station. i went down hard and really hurt my knee. no one stopped to help. in fact people actually tutted as they stepped over me.

Another time i was being leered at by some builders outside work and slipped on some sand they left on the pavement - i went down on my arse and they all laughed and tried to look up my dress as i struggled up. angry

I hope you feel better.

I fell over in the snow and really hurt my coccyx. All the drivers queuing at the junction were pissing themselves laughing.

lisad123everybodydancenow Thu 28-Mar-13 17:18:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarredfromhavingStella Thu 28-Mar-13 17:19:20

Of course I would help as that to me is basic kindness, the couple were a pair of twats that were clearly dragged up rather than brought up in the correct manner.
Hope you're ok OP.

diddl Thu 28-Mar-13 17:19:35

I am shocked & saddened by this.

I understand some people might be wary that it was a trick.

But in this case, having seen it happen-what is wrong with them?

Also, as a dog walker, I feel that I "know" the other dog walkers that I see iyswim.

We were out in the car, just left home & saw an elderly woman who we knew by sight on the floor.

We obviously stopped the car to help-especially as there was no one else around!

whois Thu 28-Mar-13 17:20:29

OP that's awful! And not normal.

I fell off my bike a few weeks ago and about 5 people came running over to help.

BellaVita Thu 28-Mar-13 17:21:35

Of course I would help someone.

LynetteScavo Thu 28-Mar-13 17:24:52

What is wrong with people? Have they watched too much "You've Been Framed"?

If someone falls over you help them. It's human nature...surely? Or am I living in some parallel universe? confused

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 17:30:58

No! I can't believe they did that. You poor thing.

I opened this thread because I fell over a couple of months ago and badly bashed my face - blood everywhere. So many people stopped to help. I was so embarrassed and shocked that I refused all help.

I got a taxi and the driver wouldn't take any money. He wanted to take me to hospital but I refused. I wasn't drunk btw - which is what I kept saying over and over again. smile

I wish you'd met my people instead. Hope you're okay.

MrsKoala Thu 28-Mar-13 17:32:12

when i first met dh we went to the gym, on the way in i said 'if you fall face first off the treadmill i wont help you as i'll be laughing'. DH looked really hurt and said 'why wouldn't you help?' i said 'because it will be funny' and he said really sadly 'no it wont'. i said 'oh come on, you wouldn't laugh if you saw someone fall over?' and he said 'no, i'd help them'. i felt blush and realised he was right, i had lived in hard areas of London too long and been quite jaded. i felt awful and totally changed my attitude. i also loved dh even more smile

feeldown Thu 28-Mar-13 17:35:32

When my friend and I were about 16/17 we were getting the bus home one day. A lady who was known for being "the village alcoholic" stumbled off the bus after us and sort of sank to the ground, just lying there.

I admit that my friend and I were absolutely horrible and just ran across the road, laughing. We were both fully first aid trained, both worked with children, she wanted to be a nurse and I wanted to be a teacher - I cannot fathom why we didn't help. No excuse covers it. I can only think that we were so taken in by prejudices and it felt normal to laugh at her.. We did look back, and a chap was helping her whilst glaring at us.. I told my mum who was very disappointed in us!! I've felt bloody awful about it since about five minutes after it happened, and have never quite forgiven myself!

What I'm trying to say, is that I sort of hope they realise that they should have helped you, and will do in the future - I'm forever offering to help people now, more out of want to do it though than simply guilt.

VerySmallSqueak Thu 28-Mar-13 17:38:08

I would help.

I was horrified today at some people laughing at an elderly man in a shop because he was confused and not understanding what the shop assistant was saying.
I didn't find it funny,poor man.
Luckily he was unaware - but the strangest bit was that the main culprits looked like they were only 10 years or so off possibly being in his shoes.

The last time I needed help in public with a bad asthma attack when I was alone,I was lucky to find some very kind people looked out for me.

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 17:41:23

What I meant was that they probably thought I was pissed because it was about 9.30pm. They still tried to help me though.

Thewhingingdefective Thu 28-Mar-13 17:41:39

They sound utterly charming! hmm

I think most people would be decent enough to hurry over and help you up, make sure you're okay etc.

I think you we're very unfortunate to encounter such a pair of inconsiderate bastards.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Mar-13 17:42:15

How shite. I can also cite an example of someone not helping - i slipped and fell banged my, head and saw stars, in the park a couple of years ago. Man walked past and ignored me.

It is enough to make y ou lose your faith in humanity.


I think we find it so appalling because it is ou t of the ordinary. Thenvast vast majority of people would help. I is a shame that even one person would not, but I try to remember the ones who do, and would, not be depressed by the ones who don't.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Mar-13 17:43:55

Bad ipad typing

I'd help someone up. I've done this in the past. And wasn't the only one offering to help.

The couple in the OP are ignorant twats and not typical of people I know around here.

I would have helped. I stopped my car next to a couple the other day when then man had tripped off the kerb, but they were alright. I did stay in my tent last year in the aftermath of a road accident on the road next to the campsite, but I could hear lots of people shouting and phoning 999 etc and felt that if I joined it wouldn't help, just be getting in the way. All my friends (about a dozen) had left their tents. I'm still not sure if I did the right thing staying out of it. confused

fieldfare Thu 28-Mar-13 17:52:28

I'd absolutely always help someone. I would like to think that someone would help me in that kind of predicament too. I'm sorry for your experience OP, what a pair of idiots.

milkwagon Thu 28-Mar-13 17:53:47

What utter dicks. Honestly, most reasonable members of society would stop and help. Sorry you had to go through this. I've lost count of the amount of times I've stopped to help people. I'm a great believer in karma so they'll get their comeuppance.x

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 17:54:05

My friend had a fit on the Tube into work and woke up lying down on the platform with vomit on her coat and the doors of the train closing and everyone staring at her. They'd dragged her out and got back on. confused

She told that story because I was with her when I fainted on the platform at Holborn station and came round to find an off-duty nurse helping me and lots of other people looking to see if I was okay.

Surely, most people are all right, aren't they? hmm And I wasn't pissed that time either grin

Glittertwins Thu 28-Mar-13 17:55:58

I hope karma comes back and bites them hard. I would have helped you without question. I've seen someone fall hard off a bench onto concrete, called the ambulance and waited until it arrived when out with toddling twins. The lady had had an epileptic fit which is why she fell. She really hit her head hard. I saw her later when she was leaving the hospital as I was passing and asked how she was.

saintmerryweather Thu 28-Mar-13 17:56:02

I never ever want to be the sort of person who could ignore someone who was crying and begging for my help.

thegreylady Thu 28-Mar-13 18:04:34

How horrible-of course I would have helped.An old man fell off his bike outside a shop we were in recently and we called the ambulance,stayed till it arrived then I pushed his bike home for him and dh stayed with him till a relative came to go to hospital with him. That wasn't being 'good' it was being human I think.

ZZZenEggain Thu 28-Mar-13 18:09:07

how awful. I am sorry this happened to you. I don't know what those people were thinking. Of course I would have helped you to get up. I would have thought most people would do that. Please don't feel you cannot walk your dog anymore because of this. Do you have your phone with you so you could call for help if you needed it?

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 18:12:54

Mind you, my friend was mugged in Victoria at 3pm and was crying in the street and everyone ignored her.

Maybe some people have watched too many films like The Silence Of The Lambs where the distressed person is really trying to kidnap them and skin them alive.

Why you'd feel threatened when it's broad daylight or crowded and all you have to do it call over: 'Are you okay?' I don't know.

That doesn't explain your twats OP, who just sound weird, but maybe it explains some other twats.

ZZZenEggain Thu 28-Mar-13 18:14:08

how old were these people?

BathTangle Thu 28-Mar-13 18:14:16

George Clooney would!

Seriously, a girl I worked with in London slipped over while crossing a road close to our office, dropping all her shopping bags. A bloke came rushing over, picked up her shopping and helped to get her safely to the pavement. She finally looked up to thank him and realised that it was George Clooney! (He was staying in a well-known hotel round the corner). He rushed off before she could say a proper thank you.

Moominsarehippos Thu 28-Mar-13 18:17:36

How horrible. I can't believe how shitty some people are. Hope they find themselves in a similar situation (I'm imagining them falling down a well) and see how it feels. Hopefully, they will be sniggeringly telling the story and see a whole room of shock angry shock angry shock angry shock angry

xigris Thu 28-Mar-13 18:19:16

Bath no way!! That's a brilliant story! Good old George, gorgeous on the outside and on the inside! grin

BathTangle Thu 28-Mar-13 18:22:50

It was so sweet - the girl was just mortified that she hadn't been able to thank him properly - English is not her first language and although usually totally fluent, all her English deserted her when faced with gorgeous George!

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 18:23:56

bath there was a really good story about Dustin Hoffman rescuing someone in London recently. He played it down on the Graham Norton Show.

I probably would prefer to be dusted down by Dustin Hoffman in his prime than George Clooney only because there would be an outside chance that Dustin might have asked me out for a drink.

Though I thoroughly approve of Hollywood stars of whatever persuasion helping clumsy Londoners.

gingeme Thu 28-Mar-13 18:37:24

Yes I would have picked you up and given the ignorant bastards a piece of my mind too. angry.
I hate stupid people like that.
Hope you have now recovered and your leg is on the mend soon smile

Doyouthinktheysaurus Thu 28-Mar-13 18:39:48

That's truly shocking and extremely sad! Thank god for your mum turning up, that really is cruel. Like others have said, I really hope a karma comes back to bite them!

I pulled over in my car to help someone who had fallen once. I've also stopped with an old lady who fell until the ambulance arrived. No way could I ever walk on by!

When I fell whilst running though and injured my leg quite badly, a mans dog came to see me but he didn't botherhmm I had the car too so DH was unable to come bad rescue me. I had to run/walk/hobble t the car and get myself home.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Thu 28-Mar-13 19:04:14

Yes I would

Old lady on my street thought she was being burgled in the middle of the night, she was shouting in the street for help. Plenty of curtain twitchers but no bastard helped her except me. I left it a very short while before going as I'm not exactly built for fighting burglars!!
Really shocked me how no one went to help

scottishmummy Thu 28-Mar-13 19:07:30

Oh gosh,sorry you had a fall hope you ok
Of course I'd assist you,and I would telephone anyone you needed too
Dont be disheartened not all folks are so inconsiderate

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