Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

to compile a list of pointless/annoying AIBU responses for MNHQ to outlaw?

(416 Posts)
ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 15:52:10

Other than troll hunting and personal abuse etc.

eg: "don't you have anything better to worry about?"

Yes of course I fucking do. Just because I posted something doesn't mean it is the only cunting thing I care about!

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 15:52:53

'this is a first world problem'

uhuh - that's cause I live in the first world, twatbags.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 27-Mar-13 15:53:59

None of your business. Keep your nose out etc etc.

OK OK, but we are talking about opinions. We are all allowed those

"First World problem". I don't live in Somalia. I'm glad TBH. I don't have majority world problems.

Dammit, x-posted.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Wed 27-Mar-13 15:55:03

"and what did social services/the police/the school say when you reported this?"

when there has been no mention as yet of reporting.

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 15:56:05

'yawn' etc.

uhuh...because nothing says 'the most interesting thing about me is the view of my tonsils' like yawning....

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 15:56:13

You sound very judgemental

(like that's a bad thing)

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 15:56:38

jamie good call....

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Wed 27-Mar-13 15:56:49

Get a Grip

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 27-Mar-13 15:57:16

FFS

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 15:57:22

Anyone who hasn't bothered reading even the OP properly and then swings in with some wild and vastly stupid opinion... should be shot at dawn. Such as 'well I think YABU because of xy and z' even though none of those things have been mentioned.

Not exactly an AIBU response, more of an occurrence. grin

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 27-Mar-13 15:57:36

yy to Get A Grip

how rude!

grimbletart Wed 27-Mar-13 15:57:56

It's not all about you

No dear - never said it was.

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 15:58:20

gah and when you post AIBU to hate people doing X? and people respond.

"I don't do X"

how fucking great for you...that helps me how?

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Wed 27-Mar-13 15:58:25

I haven't read the thread but...

"You should consider yourself lucky to have Parents /IL still alive who refuse to help you some of us have lost ours...etc"

& variations on a theme

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 15:59:00

you're lucky that you have a DM/MIL/DH/cockatoo to worry about. Some of us don't and we would never moan ever

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 15:59:15

"it's not all about you" is an absolute classic.

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 15:59:29

oh cross post with Chaz grin great minds

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 27-Mar-13 15:59:31

You sound very entitled

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 15:59:50

ohcrist y y. Get that fucker on the list.

'Oh and are your diamond shoes too tight'

Shockingly people have different lifestyles and different problems.

grin

Shows how often it turns up on AIBU

ParadiseChick Wed 27-Mar-13 16:00:54

'No is a complete sentence'

Because it's not, it's bullshit.

Remember the manic thread before Christmas where the SIL said 'No' and only no, to getting a canvas print of her DD and the OP's DD for the grandparents Christmas. The SIL said no, that was all.

What followed was pages of OMG How rude! Why not? And speculation as to why she dared say no, and only no!

All the "I lived at the bottom of a lake and had to eat sewage, you should be grateful to have anything" bollocks. Chaz is right, it's annoying and irrelevant. There is always someone who has it worse. However, the OP's issues are the OP's issues so be empathetic.

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:01:27

Or when you say "I am worried about X happening if I do Y"

and people are all "Well I did X and Y didn't happen"

Okay so assuming I am you and there is no random element then that's a great help....cheers.

"Well if you need to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet"

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:02:25

paradise yeah I remember that...so very two faced MN can be at times...

Eskino Wed 27-Mar-13 16:02:36

Gawd, anything to do with grips, get one/buy one/put one on the bleeding shopping list.

Fuck Off!

ParadiseChick Wed 27-Mar-13 16:03:28

You sound lovely.

curryeater Wed 27-Mar-13 16:03:32

"Wow. Just .... Wow."
Brings me out in a rash. I can imagine the person saying it and I want to throw custard pies in her pompous, sanctimonious face.

Nancy66 Wed 27-Mar-13 16:03:47

You sound like a journalist...

Pandemoniaa Wed 27-Mar-13 16:04:10

Could you expand this slightly to include OPs? Thus outlawing any thread in AIBU that starts: "I know I'm NOT BU..."

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:04:41

Any mention of grammar tbh.

Some poor sod is pouring out their heart and get "it's mildly interesting that this shit is happening to you but what really gets me going is your use of their instead of there"

Time and a place people...

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:05:26

oh yes we can cover banned OP's as well!

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:06:28

I am having big problems on this thread....because a tiny part of my forgets what it is about and takes each comment as an actual comment on my actual OP.

I very nearly just told you all that I'm not a journalist....

<gibbers>

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 16:06:41

Paragraphs!

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:07:01

para another classic....and one I personally get a lot blush

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:08:27

yup MN should do an autoreplace of 'grips' for ....hm let me see...how about 'tigers'

"you seem to have misplaced your TIGER, let me get you a new one"

Yup that works.

KellyElly Wed 27-Mar-13 16:08:34

I feel sorry for your children and other such passive aggressive bollocks!

NippyDrips Wed 27-Mar-13 16:08:50

[Biscuit]

NippyDrips Wed 27-Mar-13 16:10:04

Ah bloody biscuit fail!

biscuit

KoalaFace England Wed 27-Mar-13 16:10:05

I don't like people just posting a 'score'.

Why? Is this troll hunting? Seems stupid.

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:10:57

yeah scores must be troll hunting....

Jalopeno Wed 27-Mar-13 16:11:09

Just read this to my DH and he says x/y/z (usually something inane)

Thank god you posted your DH's opinion. The thread couldn't have continued otherwise.

WorraLiberty England Wed 27-Mar-13 16:11:51

"Walk a mile in their shoes"

No, actually I won't because...

A) I have unusually small feet

B) I don't want to actually have to suffer the same problem as every OP in order to answer them.

C) I'm incredibly lazy and would rather catch the bus if I'm going to have to travel a mile.

D) What if the 'shoes' happen to be Crocs???

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 16:11:55

I've been wondering about the score thing. If you think someone is a troll, just report them. You don't have to tell the whole of MN in an 'ooooh I'm telling' way.

Nancy66 Wed 27-Mar-13 16:12:18

I've also seen

"haven't you posted this before?"

..like there's a limit to how many times a person is allowed to post about a problem.

SneezingwakestheJesus Wed 27-Mar-13 16:13:02

"<strong opinion in one sentence.> End of!"

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:13:35

When you say 'some people in group X do Y' and every MNer in group X turns up to say they don't....

Yes I know not all people in group X do Y, that's why I said some ya bunch of fecking idiots.

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 16:14:01

But, but, but

Isnt AIBU meant to be a bunfight? If OPs are really pouring their souls out should they not choose a less aggressive robust part of MN?

I think you need to get a grip OP. wink

<hides>

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:14:05

worra grin

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:15:41

eggs I think technically it is not a fight club.

Anyway I don't mind people getting stuck in...just be a bit original...or at least bring some new information...or god forbid some actual relevant information...

It's surely not too much to ask....

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 16:16:03

Worra, I also have very small feet. Is there a clique for this or other area of MN?

Also 'this should be in...' (usually relationships or SN).

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 16:16:50

"Here, have my very first biscuit"

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:18:10

nancy yes also the "this topic has been done".

Like when a new poster turns up and asks what people think of BF secondary school children and everyone is just

nooooooo what have you done? You've broken the internet!

If you don't want to have the same debate again then simply fuck off to another thread.

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 16:20:09

Actually if you mentally edit peoples comments to substitute tiger for either grips or biscuits then the whole experience is enhanced substantially.

Have my first TIGER. <you have to do it in caps>

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 16:21:17

[TIGER]

bear

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 16:21:55

"Do fuck off, there's a dear."

"Off you fuck!"

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 16:24:32

God, yes, the "Have my very first biscuit " Anyone who can't avoid cliches like that should be shot.

And the same goes for "<Gavel>"

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 16:26:21

Oh, MarianneM, absolutely. Plus all the tired acronyms. ODFOD. ODFODXYZ. So clever. So hilarious. Please

MarianneM
I think we should allow those phrases to be held in reserve for use in a pompous flounce situation.

e.g. You all failed to agree with my world view so you are all a bunch of dried up misandrist harpies etc

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 16:30:00

"I just can't bring myself to care."

(why are you posting then?)

PickledInAPearTree Wed 27-Mar-13 16:33:15

Can we have did you mean to be so rude. Worse comeback EVER.

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 16:33:16

"<hides thread>"

(I really needed to know that!)

exoticfruits Wed 27-Mar-13 16:34:30

'Either you are being disingenuous, or you simply do not remotely understand what the thread is about'.

MardyBra Wed 27-Mar-13 16:36:50

<gavel>

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 16:40:27

I suppose the thing about <gavel> and its ilk is that it's funny the first time it's used. After that, it's really, really tired.

flippinada Wed 27-Mar-13 16:42:33

Any post that begins "It has to be said","Someone has to say this" or any variation on this tedious phrase should be deleted.

Also, any comment where you can visualise the poster doing a tinkly laugh a la Margot from the good life after they've finished typing.

exoticfruits Wed 27-Mar-13 16:42:45

'You sound slightly weird tbh'

exoticfruits Wed 27-Mar-13 16:43:26

'Can you actually read????'

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 16:43:41

I take that as a compliment. grin

FakeHotCrossLobsters Wed 27-Mar-13 16:45:10

"Why are you posting about this now? It's still three minutes to Christmas/Easter/The End Of The World, that's far too soon to be talking about it!"

I have asked if someone's posted about something before, but only because I have these vague recollections of threads that either really happened or I made up and sometimes I'm just not sure.

"Welcome to Mumsnet" always stands out to me. I mean, I know why people are posting it and what they really mean by it, but how do they know it's someone's first post so they can ''welcome'' them?

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 16:47:29

Oh, yes, and "Interesting first post, OP". There is such a thing as a name-change option.

TomArchersSausage Wed 27-Mar-13 16:48:22

Popcorn anyone?

No thanks.

SneezingwakestheJesus Wed 27-Mar-13 16:50:53

Okay I have another one! I hate it when people start a thread complaining about something, people tell them they are being a bit unreasonable so they come back and update with a brief "ah well, its not important anyway, I don't care anyway" type of comment. It was bloody important enough to you and you cared enough to write an essay about it but now no one agrees with you, its not important? Its so passive aggressive.

exoticfruits Wed 27-Mar-13 16:53:31

'I don't mean to be rude but..............'

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 16:56:25

oh exotic I love the 'I don't mean to be rude....' it's usually followed up with something that deserves its own AIBU

eminemmerdale Wed 27-Mar-13 17:00:14

'I'll just get my mumsnet bingo card'

chaya5738 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:12:30

"I would hate to have you as my daughter-in-law" or "I hope my son never marries someone like you" and other variations on that theme.

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 17:28:20

We need a brigade of cliche police.

TheRealFellatio Wed 27-Mar-13 17:29:46

Have you considered that the child who hit your son over the head with a brick might have an invisible disability?

QueenBee245 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:30:27

Can we also outlaw OPs who ask AIBU but then refuse to accept that they are, why ask for opinions if you're not willing to accept them or a least take them into consideration (apart from the ridiculous ones like those mentioned in this thread)

MrsMcEnroe Wed 27-Mar-13 17:34:10

"Grow a pair"
"Strap on a pair"

And variations thereof. What an utterly unhelpful, pointless and woman-hating phrase.

Shaky Wed 27-Mar-13 17:39:22

Mine are -

"<pulls up chair>"

"This won't go well"

"Have you got a flameproof suit OP?"

"<dons tin hat>"

"This makes my teeth itch"

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 17:43:15

'Stabby'?

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 17:45:36

God, yes, all of those Shaky.

Hackneyed beyond belief. At least find an original way to say it, if you feel compelled to say it at all.

Fanjounchained Wed 27-Mar-13 17:45:46

grin therealfellatio

I'm racking my brains trying to recall if I've ever used any of these phrases...probably have. But then I know I can be "unreasonable" and a bit of a fanjo at times....

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 17:46:38

I think instead of 'gets popcorn' I might start saying 'changes fucking channel'. grin

exoticfruits Wed 27-Mar-13 17:52:39

'What an odd and ridiculous post'

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 17:54:00

"You might be happier on another site"

"This might not be the site for you"

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 17:56:10

I like "stabby", though. It's just an adjective.

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 17:58:26

"Goady Fucker" OTOH is a cliche.

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 18:02:20

Goady fucker hasn't been about long enough yet. Give it a few more months.

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 18:36:23

"Reported."

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 18:38:14

It hasn't been around long, but it's everywhere . Really, really tedious.

Yy to "Reported." Ridiculous.

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 18:38:24

"Where's the AIBU?"

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 18:41:47

"I don't give a shiny shite about --"

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 18:43:43

"sanctimonious"

Lucyellensmum95 Wed 27-Mar-13 18:46:29

That is all

TomArchersSausage Wed 27-Mar-13 18:49:03

Or the wonderfully passive aggressive: HTH.

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 18:49:50

"Mind your own beeswax."

And yes to the two above, definitely!

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 18:50:59

bleeeurgh.

These are all classics...but it is making me angry reading them....

Do you think if we get enough into one thread it will just collapse into a black hole and take all the shit posts (and shit posters) with it?

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 18:52:15

How about all the posters who use them get a warning, then three strikes and they're out ;)

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 18:52:41

HTH is either awful or awesome...I can't decide...I mean it is SO passive aggressive it is almost back round the other side.

It is one of the things I have never been able to do in anger....oh I will swear and tell people to fuck off and rant and rage but the HTH....well that would cross a line.

'Having done a quick search of your previous threads, OP...'

Hate this.

TomArchersSausage Wed 27-Mar-13 18:54:00

Or a hotline to mn hq: 'Keel them..'

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 18:57:32

"sense of entitlement"

"your kids won't melt"

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 18:57:46

"<updates shitlist>"
Ooooh, I'm so scared, when are you and your gang coming round to beat me up? Or should I "fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more"?

allnewtaketwo Wed 27-Mar-13 18:58:59

"We'll you knew what you were getting into when you married a man with children"

hmm

Yes because of course if we all had glass balls and knew what we were "getting in to" then none of us on mumsnet would ever really have anything to post about at all

TomArchersSausage Wed 27-Mar-13 19:00:16

Have we had:

<hides post>?

Gawd that one annoys me. Just go then. But no, it has to be announced. Well la di dahhmm

TomArchersSausage Wed 27-Mar-13 19:03:12

Sorry meant '<hides thread>' That's the one.

(You know what I mean...confused)

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 19:05:51

"You're not helping (the cause)..."

"Smug much? hmm"

SirChenjin Wed 27-Mar-13 19:06:26

"Did you mean to sound so rude" - which should be answered by "yes", if you have any sense.

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 19:06:51

"Don't feed the troll."

"Ignore ignore ignore!"

(Sorry, I'm really on a roll here.)

grimbletart Wed 27-Mar-13 19:10:13

Welcome to MN

(Unless of course it is to a first time poster and not a sarky passive aggressive response)

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 19:10:19

"You do know, don't you, that...?"

people who accuse you of being absolutely mad/losing your rag about something when you asked if you are allowed to be a bit miffed/irritated by it.

There is a VAST difference between something just niggling you and being so mad you want to start a petition.

Inertia Wed 27-Mar-13 19:17:30

This doesn't usually feature in AIBU threads, it's normally where people are trying to be helpful so I am probably BVU , but I dislike " didn't want to read and run ". Seems to smack of being busy replying to far more important things, but felt obliged to patronise the OP.

"Didn't want to read and run - sorry your hamster has scurvy". Why not just say you're sorry the hamster has scurvy ? And if you did read and run - who'd know ? Surely nobody is keeping a spreadsheet of read-and-runners ?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 27-Mar-13 19:20:04

People who post things like 'Can't believe you have the time / energy / lack of things to do that you've posted something so trivial'.

Yes, because you're clearly so busy and important yourself by pointing out the triviality.... hmm

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 19:23:46

"Ignorant"

(If you disagree with the popular opinion.)

SirChenjin Wed 27-Mar-13 19:29:07

"Didn't you post about this before OP?"

"You may find that this has already been dealt with here <links to thread 6 months ago that dealt with a similar issue>"

I always wonder if people who post this go around in RL forbidding anyone to discuss the same things twice hmm

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 27-Mar-13 19:34:19

SirChenjin

I haven't done this myself, but I think the intention with those posts is to say "You've posted about this before and you didn't listen last time".

Or it is to check whether the current OP is linked to other related stuff posted about before (eg a pattern of nasty behaviour by a spouse).

Sometimes it is helpful to know that the poster is having ongoing issues about something

This is an open forum, and people do have the ability to name change if they don't want other posts linked to

grin fellatio.

'So what if you're 8 months pregnant? Of course you can walk through 6 feet snow drifts. Pregnancy isn't an illness you know, why should a child give up their seat on the bus for you? Entitled much?'

WorraLiberty England Wed 27-Mar-13 19:43:47

"Some people will be along soon to say......"

Yeah but by saying that, you've just said it, haven't you? confused

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 19:44:08

People could at least find a slightly different way to phrase things, if they really must re-hash tired old sayings. Like: "Where did I put my tinfoil hat?" instead of "<dons tinfoil hat>" Still tedious and unoriginal, but very slightly less so.

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 19:45:31

Actually, no, it's still bloody awful.

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 19:46:03

'quiche'

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 19:51:34

blush I use that one, Cat. Cos I'm in one.

SirChenjin Wed 27-Mar-13 19:52:22

Jamie - I know, but honestly, does it matter if someone has posted about this matter before?? Perhaps they are looking for a different perspective, or perhaps things have changed slightly for them?

Or - if there was another thread by another person a few months ago that dealt with a similar issue - should that stop another poster asking the same question? Or are we all supposed to check the archives before posting on AIBU?

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 19:53:26

You're in a quiche? Don't you smell all eggy and cheesy? grin

blackeyedsusan England Wed 27-Mar-13 19:55:38

fuck off op
.
.
.
.
.
.^^ grin now that should be banned!

ithaka Wed 27-Mar-13 19:56:15

<head tilt> I picture them being the sort of Margot-tinkly-laugh type of person who <head tilts> in real life

StuffezLaBouche Wed 27-Mar-13 19:59:51

This again?!
<pours vino>
<grabs popcorn>
<pulls up comfy seat>
<proffers cushion to X>

<fucks off many people>

idiuntno57 Wed 27-Mar-13 20:00:13

If all this stuff were banned by MN putting a black block over 'illegal' terms (a la wartime censorship of telegrams from the front) I am thinking that we'd just get a big black screen when clicking on 99% of AIBU's

..then the addiction to AIBU could be cured through lack of exposure and we could all get on with living our lives as I did before bloody MN and AIBU took over my life

Good idea innit?

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 20:03:15

I am over-egged, but I am not at all cheesy. And I am not a tart.

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 20:03:57

Well that's okay then. grin

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:06:50

Maybe MN should outlaw pointless and annoying AIBUs

cumfy Wed 27-Mar-13 20:09:29

RTFT

This is the most inane post I've ever seen on MN or anywhere else.

Machli Wed 27-Mar-13 20:11:39

Well why did you get pregnant/have another baby/have so many kids when poster is obviously in bits because her situation one way or another is Rat Shit. Honestly when I read those words my blood pressure goes through the ROOF! angry

ATouchOfStuffing Wed 27-Mar-13 20:12:35

Anyone that reads the whole thread and then chips in with
"Agree with X"
Too bored to put it into your own words?

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 20:18:24

I can understand RTFT being annoying if the thread is 15 pages long but sometimes people don't even seem to read the whole of the OP.

Even if a thread is very long it's still possible to highlight the OP posts instead of wading in with stupid advice because you couldn't be bothered to read an update.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 27-Mar-13 20:19:13

Blimey, usual's back!

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:22:13

wink

DeepRedBetty Wed 27-Mar-13 20:31:41

<runs round room shouting Usual's Back!!!>

<DP looks even more confused than normal>

ParadiseChick Wed 27-Mar-13 20:32:04

I prefer reading good honest fuck off than pages of passive aggressive bullshit

DeepRedBetty Wed 27-Mar-13 20:33:52

I plead guilty to linking to old threads. Because sometimes the OP's problem has been covered very well in the past, but the way the forum and Search is organised it can be very difficult to find stuff.

MyDarlingClementine England Wed 27-Mar-13 20:34:03

1st world problem

and

you sound entitled

angry

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:35:32

A PA HTH is a wonderful thing.

CombineBananaFister Wed 27-Mar-13 20:39:45

I'll probably be unpopular for saying this but i get a tad bored with the mention of goats/horses and flat screen t.vs, which usually arise in any thread that happens to mention benefits/welfare etc. If the ops being an arse disagree, but at least come up with an opinion rather than some tired old in-jokey shite

OverAndAbove Wed 27-Mar-13 20:42:40

"Is this a reverse AIBU?"

Smacks of only wanting to give an "accepted" opinion

CombineBananaFister Wed 27-Mar-13 20:43:56

I also think we should lay off the Tarquins, when describing any 'sense of enitlement'/'private school'/helicopter parenting issues. Spare a thought for all those poor (actual) kids named Tarquin grin

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:44:53

Don't post everything in AIBU then.

HTH.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 27-Mar-13 20:46:10

(Sorry that sounded really stalker-esque, usual.... grin)

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 20:49:01

s'ok I'm happy to be stalked grin

christinarossetti Wed 27-Mar-13 20:50:00

I could live without the 'you're in denial' when the OP has stated that certain responses don't correspond to her experience of HER OWN LIFE and aren't helpful.

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 20:52:20

Gregg's sausage rolls.

I like them too very much.

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 21:10:47

We could link to this thread every time we see one of the tired old cliches.
HTH

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 21:12:01

Then if they didn't scroll down to the offending phrase:

RTFT

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:14:42

AIBU is the a pile of wank TBH.

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 21:18:18

Well, yes, there's that.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 27-Mar-13 21:19:37

Usual thanks

I love when people post in AIBU "you are so fucking rude, you sound lke a rude arsehole'. Err, pot, kettle

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:20:07

There are loads of other topics on MN. maybe you should all have a look about?

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 21:20:39

Good Evening usualsuspect,

I have sometimes thought you are Barbara Ellen, but I don't think she would have as much time to spend here as you.

You are almost like an AIBU random post generator.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:21:11

<strokes fanjo>

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 27-Mar-13 21:22:15

You filthy beast grin

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:23:02

Funny that, marienne.

Because I've not been on MN for a while.

Are you confusing me with someone else?

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 27-Mar-13 21:23:42

Leave usual alone Marianne <growls fearsomely>

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 21:24:42

No usual

I would recognise that passive aggressive style anywhere wink

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 21:25:24

I'll do what I like.

I'm already shitlisted.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:25:41

There's an art to PA.

the wink is a good start.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Wed 27-Mar-13 21:26:12

Yy, the 'goats and flat screen tellys' crap that gets wheeled out time and again. About as funny as catshit in your soup.

And the 'grip' thing is for sheeples. It's all over MN like a bad case of herpes.

'Dons hard hat, gets popcorn' woman deserves the mythical block poster button.

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 21:26:16

"Pregnancy isn't an illness"

Invariably typed in response (when I've seen it) to a poster who has an illness caused by pregnancy. Pregnancy itself may not be an illness, but if you're hospitalised, you're definitely ill. It's not the place for pedantry about how "Pregnancy isn't an illness".

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:26:16

Mind you the smile is even better.

LandofTute Wed 27-Mar-13 21:26:30

That biscuit thing is irritating. If you find the OP boring then just don't reply.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:28:12

The fucking bear is a million times more irritating than the biscuit

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 21:28:15

Thanks usual, it takes one to know one wink smile

INeedThatForkOff Wed 27-Mar-13 21:28:45

Oh yes, I really despise '... much?'

'Smug much?'
'Entitled much?'
'Incapable of stringing a grammatical sentence together much?'

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 21:30:27

Blimey, MarianneM, have you already been shitlisted? Are you living in a safe house under armed guard? (Are the guards buff?)

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 27-Mar-13 21:31:05

I don't really understand the biscuit.

When someone posts it I have to go searching my cupboards for a chocolate digestive.

MyDarlingClementine England Wed 27-Mar-13 21:31:10

I like the gets popcorn.

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 21:31:58

I probably have also been

<reported>

and

<ignore!>d

Hence the bitter tears.

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 21:34:00

"<gets popcorn>" was probably funny the first 2,000 times.

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 21:34:41

Also, "well, why did you take that [now totally irreversible life decision, such as having a child, selling a Ford Cortina] three years' ago? If you hadn't, you wouldn't be having this nervous breakdown in front of your screen right now."

Our lives today are heavily influenced by the decisions we took yesterday, but there's a point at which telling someone they've previously made a bad decision is not constructive in the least; it's merely you being sanctimonious and trying to make them feel worse.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 27-Mar-13 21:35:47

Have now got 'shitlist' by L7 in head

flippinada Wed 27-Mar-13 21:37:21

Oh yes, that teeth clenching favourite: "why did you have children if you can't afford them".

Just...aaargh!

MyDarlingClementine England Wed 27-Mar-13 21:39:24

I don't find it too funny the gets popcorn, i just like the cosy, lets settle down to this one and get comfy connotations...

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 21:39:27

Next time I see it, maybe I should reply with, "why did you register on a social forum if you're incapable of pleasant social interaction?"

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 21:42:55

I do like that one, Jessie. Would go down very well on here.

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 21:44:57

Right, I'm writing it down then for future use. MN, you have been warned!

Hemlet Wed 27-Mar-13 21:48:20

I can't stand when the OP is responded to by the obvious.

For example;
OP: "I hate it when people put lol in their posts"
Hilarious and original poster: "LOL!

flippinada Wed 27-Mar-13 21:48:57

Jessie indeed. Some people seem to go a bit peculiar when confronted with a keyboard

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:50:31

LOL

nkf Wed 27-Mar-13 21:51:18

I hate the four letter words and I really hate, "You lot lack empathy. I hope you never have the experience of being mown by rabid goats. " Well, no, I hope not too.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 21:53:01

Four letter words?

Cunt? Fuck?

nkf Wed 27-Mar-13 21:54:56

The C one. I hate. it.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 21:58:01

Wow this thread has just about knocked out any phrase ever, not just on MN but in the whole wide world.
Cunts.

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 21:58:07

Wow usual, you can do active aggressive too?

<impressed>

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 21:59:33

I like an atrocious cunt i do.

Just not an ordinary one.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Wed 27-Mar-13 22:00:48

Am new'ish. Now too scared to ever post anything in AIBU.

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:01:17

Better than "You lot lack empathy. I hope you do have the experience of being mown by rabid goats. " Right?

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:01:53

I love an atrocious cunt.

Marianne, you are making me laugh grin well actually that might be the red wine.

nkf Wed 27-Mar-13 22:03:25

Better than "You lot lack empathy. I hope you do have the experience of being mown by rabid goats. " Right?

Well, no, because they are ill wishing you but pretending not to.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:03:44

Natural, post whatever you like.

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:05:43

Of course, if they're honest enough about what they're thinking, they get their post/account blocked. That's an upside, isn't it?

<cheery>

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 22:06:05

The v wanky Did you mean to be so rude?...well yes actually
The o'er your defensive/touchy/jealous if any counter point put in thread
You're well jel,to any post not in step with op.no I'm not well jel about being engaged
this too shall pass...as if it kumbyyah verse.
Your house your rules...utter tosh
Us wimmin should stick together,we is sistas...yea so suck it up

sad

I'm the only person left that likes it here and all its mildly irritating quirks.

sad sad

<<cries>>

Buzzardbird Wed 27-Mar-13 22:07:01

Anyone who mentions 'spreadsheets', or "sorry, I am typing on my phone" so what, so am I, what's the difference?

tigerdriverII Mexico Wed 27-Mar-13 22:07:46

I vote for replacing "grip" and "biscuit" with TIGER. But I draw the line at Pom Bloody Bear.

I agree with just about all of the rogue phrases. Favourite hate at the moment is <<head tilt>> but let's face it makes the headtilter sound bonkers, not the tiltee.

MarianneM Wed 27-Mar-13 22:07:46

Good usual, always happy to please.

I'm on white wine.

HTH

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:08:35

SEE,another reason for a 'like' button.

scottishmummy grin

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:08:37

I think that's because you can't preview properly on some phones. Doesn't make any difference to me- I'm an illiterate harpy on any internet-enabled device!

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 22:10:26

So many examples here are just a few daft jokes from posters that have got to know each other over time.
OK, not LOL, but nice and friendly and familiar
Jeez, there's a lot of miserable buggers around at the moment.
<get's popcorn>
<throws buns>
Says fuck a lot.

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:11:36

'Your house,your rules' makes me stabby.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:13:09

My phone and Kindle posts what ever it likes. I CBA to correct it.

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:13:33

There has been a marked decrease in the amount of commemorative editions of "my first biscuit" being given out for free. Have you noticed?

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:13:46

Best ever was fuck off cuntychops.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:14:50

You are not allowed to know other posters shock

How very dare you.

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:15:22

I have never used the biscuit thingy.

The only biscuits i give away are to the bloody dog....the DC won't eat Bonios.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:15:49

Off you fuck cunty chops was the best MN post ever.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 22:15:51

Nope weasel, I'm with you grin.
I think there's a lot of like minded people on this thread where I wish they would stay.
It's the home of the PO.
Escape, escape before you get drawn in...

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:16:59

Yeah,'Off you fuck cuntychops' is right.

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:18:17

Said with a dismissive flick of the hand and indifferent shake of the head.

Or so i imagine.grin

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 27-Mar-13 22:20:04

Any four letter words?

Goat?

Pong?

Lick?

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:21:39

Kyle? As in Jeremy Kyle?

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 22:23:23

If you don't like it........

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:25:34

I'm going to try, "Oh, Kyle off!" at the next opportunity.

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 22:26:46

Gimmers going on about not like ole days
I'll get the popcorn
Where's me hard hat

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 27-Mar-13 22:27:40

[Kyle]

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:28:11

<snogs SM>

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:28:30

Something for Tech to sort out, that. Would be much cooler than the bloody bear.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:29:08

I hate that bear.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 27-Mar-13 22:30:19

Kyle button

Is he doing a Wogan?

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:30:20

I'm going to try and one-up you, then. I hate the thread that spawned it, too!

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 22:31:13

I like the bear.

Nerr.

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:32:11

Kill the bear

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:33:30

Whenever I go into Wilkos and see the pombears I want to spit at them grin

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:34:19

The bear itself is quite cute, if you think of it as a teddy.

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:36:25

I have also never done a pombear.....fnnarrr fnarrrr.

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 22:37:00

Have my firstbiscuit as if matters whether or not it's first or fuckin lastbiscuitbiscuit matters

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:37:54

I have never given anyone a biscuit. I don't give biscuits to people. I eat them.

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:38:49

How does one do a pombear?

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:40:02

Hmm. To do a pombear... I think that's where you snidely mock people to their faces, and then post about on the internet, making sure that your victim is easily identifiable, isn't it?

kim147 Wed 27-Mar-13 22:40:37

bear
That made sense. It's a secret code.

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:40:49

Nooooooo,how do you dooo a pombear?

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 22:40:50

What is the point of the fucking stupid pom bear?

What does it mean? Why is it here?

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:41:31

Not from behind then Kim ?

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 22:41:49

Any update op,update please...written by nosey rubbernecker
Leave the bastard

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:41:56

[pombear]

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:42:13

Not like that then ^^

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:42:24

It was a commercial tactic, where they appealed to the lowest common denominator, thus retaining a wide membership, meaning that MN can charge reasonably high rates for advertising.

Or maybe they just thought it would be funny.

MyDarlingClementine England Wed 27-Mar-13 22:42:45

the term " flaming".

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:43:07

bear

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:43:37

Ha!

<<code breaker extrordinaire>>

kim147 Wed 27-Mar-13 22:43:58

Use the square brackets.
[ ]
And put a bear in it.

kim147 Wed 27-Mar-13 22:44:44

<pats Echo on back and wonders what other secret codes are out there>

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:44:54

Do [bears] shit in the woods?

That's a bear faced lie.

bear bottoms.

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:45:34

FUCK

Do bears shit in the woods,or is that just the Pope?

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 22:46:31

I like bear bottoms. wink

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 22:50:31

Using humphy wee facesconfusedsadangry to express disapproval hmminstead of writing post

FreudiansSlipper Wed 27-Mar-13 22:51:00

My partner/dh does not like it/thinks it is crap and so on. If it is relevant fine but if not what is the need I am not discussing issue with him

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:51:50

The awkward thing is that emoticons don't appear if you look at recent posts through the Threads I'm On tab. So, sometimes, when you actually click through to a thread, it turns out that the new messages are radically different to what you thought!

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 22:55:50

scottishmummy
hmm confused
<humph>
creepy wee brackets.

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 22:59:40

Prattling on about a shit list... just because they are bulgy eyed and dwells on names

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:02:20

Anecdote isn't plural of data..yes and geeky quip isn't humour
Can you prove that/give links/data...no I won't it's online spat not journal club

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 23:05:08

I'm not bulgy eyed- I'm magic

<preens self about magic visual memory>

<wishes could get job based on it>

ComposHat Belgium Wed 27-Mar-13 23:07:15

One that always comes up second or third post on children at weddings:

'Weddings are all about families coming together'

Or if anyone complains about a parent:

'I would give anything for one more phone call/Sunday Lunch/Christmas with mum/dad.'

Is it so hard for them to understand that some of us have difficult/unhappy relationships with our parents?

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 23:09:30

Oh, Jesus Christ, yes, ScottishMummy. All that.

And what about the manic: "You haven't answered my question of 22.04pm. Have you? HAVE YOU? I for one will not take your posts seriously until you give full details of where you work and your job title." Add that to the shitlist issue and you are fully in stalkerland.

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 23:09:41

ComposHat your post proves that MN would benefit from a like button. Then i could have just liked it, instead of actually typing.

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:10:37

Using strikeout to make passive aggressive posts it's still visible but you're too cluck cluck to say it

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:14:29

Walk a mile in someone else moccasins..no I won't you hippy
Are they mentally Ill to any unsavoury behaviour..no not all odd behaviour is mental illness

usualsuspect Wed 27-Mar-13 23:15:10

Is it so difficult for you to understand that some of us like our parents?

Or that our grown up children like us?

It seems to be the default MN position to hate your parents and inlaws.

Oh yes. The 'narc' posts. hmm

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 23:17:13

Any reference to "yoghurt-weaving" because I start visualising rancid, partially-solidified yoghurt, and then I start gagging.

Any reference to Terry Wogan's cock.

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 23:19:10

Nah, I understand that most people love their parents quite well. I even love most of my in-laws. I just notice it when the understanding isn't returned.

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:20:38

Armchair doctors it's depression/pd/narcissism/Verrucas/asmstha...stop you're making it up

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 23:22:23

Is there anything you like about MN scottishmummy?

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:25:08

Yes,understanding that posts refer to the op posed.I suggest you read the op.keep up

ComposHat Belgium Wed 27-Mar-13 23:25:13

Cheers Jessie I like that you like it.

I would like a like button too.

Of course I do understand it usual I don't attempt to universalise my own experience of family life. I just don't think it is particularly helpful when people get into 'hard done to top trumps' in a shameless attempt to guilt trip the original poster.

I don't think that it is the default position on Mumsnet to hate your parents, but that people rarely post ' Advice urgently needed: I have a happy and uncomplicated relationship with my parents based on love and mutual respect' in AIBU do they?

I haven't read the thread, but my single anecdotal experience proves for all time that I am right.

Oh, I've got a serious one too:

YANBU, OP, the sex without consent you describe wasn't rape, and the DV you describe wasn't abuse, and if you disagree it's because you're bitter.

There is always one.

And I don't mean in situations where the OP is genuinely describing a situation that is ambiguous, either.

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:30:43

Is this your pfb?tell us so we can take piss about 1st time mum anxieties

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 23:39:08

Urrrgh, yes, Terry Wogan's cock. Makes me ill to type it. Leave it alone.

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 23:40:03

Oh yes, "Is this your pfb?" is another passive-aggressive attack.

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 23:44:40

Holy crap people....what a stonking number of bannable memes.

<ropes off the stinking pile of hate with floral cunt bunting>

Machli Wed 27-Mar-13 23:45:38

How can you be "cluck cluck" to say it when you've said it? confused It's there, it's said, its still fully readable and comprehensible it just has a line through it.

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 23:46:59

No,no,no,no - you're meant to give the list to MNHQ. So you could start a thread in Site Stuff? grin

TheBigJessie Wed 27-Mar-13 23:47:51

Something I do like about MN: every page has the Opening Post at the top.

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 23:48:09

PFB?

What about a PSB or a PTB?

Such a condescending acronym.

Surely ALL our DC are 'P' some number or other.

ComposHat Belgium Wed 27-Mar-13 23:48:22

I find the whole DP/DH/DW/DS/DSis think a bit irritating but accept it is an established part of the forum and is probably here to stay.

I always spend ages trying to figures out if DSD is 'Darling Step Daughter'
'Darling Son and Daughter' or 'Darling Sister and Daughter' and always end up muttering under my breath would it have killed them to just write 'Son?' it is only one more keystroke for goodness sake.

I also get hacked off with posters who prescribe costly solutions to problems without considering that the majority of us on this site down have tons of surplus cash.

Two stick in the mind - someone complaining about juggling work and childcare and someone oh so helpfully suggested 'Get a Nanny' as if we all had that sort of money lying around.

The other one was where someone complained that their parents living abroad were bad at getting in touch with grandchildren - the response 'buy two iPads' so that they can Skype.

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 23:49:22

I think Scottishmummy may be one of the very few posters on MN that is actually angrier at the world in general than I am.

Is it possible that scottishmummy is actually......

Frankie Boyle?

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 23:49:22

PS2 ? grin

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:49:54

Cause strikeout is hidden but visible its like saying it in a whispery way
Too Cluck cluck to say it and tolerate responses
So say it in whoopsie did i say that you cunt kind of way

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:51:55

Is that you're best pop?Oi you is so angry/defensive/is you Frankie boyle

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 23:52:07

What'choo picking on scottish for?

She may be a cross patch but so are the rest of us am i.

I sooo bet that strike out doesn't freaking work. grin

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 23:53:06

Strikeout can be very passive aggressive you ignorant cunt

EchoBitch Wed 27-Mar-13 23:53:07

I was wrong!!

You cunt .

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:54:29

So let me get this right.op invite comment on useless/annoying posts,to then comment when post received

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Wed 27-Mar-13 23:54:31

Everybody is TOXIC I suggest you read Lundy Bancroft or Shirley Glass who I sometimes think are on here recommending their own books twenty times a thread.

I properly love my mother in law, I feel very lucky to have her.

FakeHotCrossLobsters Wed 27-Mar-13 23:55:37

Bumping your own thread every thirty seconds because nobody has answered you yet.

Especially if you use a smiley to do it and don't write anything else.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Wed 27-Mar-13 23:55:38

Cross posted with my strike out there grin

FakeHotCrossLobsters Wed 27-Mar-13 23:55:48

Bump.

FakeHotCrossLobsters Wed 27-Mar-13 23:56:00

sad

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:56:42

Yes that's it exactly,make post with accompanying --you cunt putdown--hmm as if whaaat did I say?

cestlesautres Wed 27-Mar-13 23:57:10

Denial, AlexReid. Denial. you bitch having a decent MIL

ICBINEG Wed 27-Mar-13 23:59:02

scottishmummy whhat? Don't hurt me....I love your rage. I also do not in any sense think you are Frankie Boyle. Or even like him.

just spouting general shit.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Wed 27-Mar-13 23:59:16

I agree with the poster who mentioned rubberneckers, lots of people bumping threads where the op has had a bad time of it. "Are you ok op?" "Please come back and update us op". Or even worse, just posting a full stop.

When somebody points out they're perhaps being a tad voyeuristic the indignant cries of "I am NOT, I am a caring person, I'm just checking that the op is ok --and am desperate for the next juicy instalment--".

scottishmummy France Wed 27-Mar-13 23:59:53

Psychobabble like denial,projection, used as casual observation and putdown

YY, agree with the money one.

Someone once helpfully advised me that the solution to me and DH arguing over living space was 'rent a bigger flat'.

Well, no shit, Sherlock, that woulda solved it.

But to be fair the competitive poverty responses are annoying too.

'YABU, bake your own bread out of ground toenail clippings over a tranja stove while wearing nine jumpers croched from your own unwanted body haiir, then complain you're struggling to afford Hovis'. hmm

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 00:00:55

Also seeker manages to get even more pissed off than me on most thread I encounter her on.

It's more of a guiding star thing....if seeker tells me to chill then I really know I have gone to far grin

cocoachannel Thu 28-Mar-13 00:02:47

On the subject of strikeouts, using it in the wrong place to strike out the words afterwards when it should in fact strike out the first sentiment.

That and pedants. Ahem.

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 00:03:07

"I love your rage" - that's it! That's why I love scottishmummy, you have hit the nail on the head OP.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Thu 28-Mar-13 00:03:09

Can I ask why you lot are actually on this forum at all?
it's not perfect, but jeez. you whingy fuckers.

EchoBitch Thu 28-Mar-13 00:03:12

Oh god,i so hate toenail clippings.

Especially other people's.......in the bath.

SneezingwakestheJesus Thu 28-Mar-13 00:03:31

Oh I'm with you on that strikeout issue cocoa.

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 00:03:42

lol

<obvious one I know>

the person who always has to put the other side. Out of fairness. Even though its total bollocks.

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 00:05:55

urgh. There is also in a related way getting a PM from someone saying "secretly I agree with you, but you can't have a debate about X on MN"

or in other words I am to cowardly to stand up for what I think and hence there will never be a debate.

SneezingwakestheJesus Thu 28-Mar-13 00:06:02

I used to overuse lol like the best of them. Even in real life hmm Mumsnet has stamped it out of me and I am eternally grateful.

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 00:06:27

So you have running water,flushing toilet,Internet therefore you can't be poor

EchoBitch Thu 28-Mar-13 00:08:49

Internet is a bit of a luxury.

and 'Wheres is so and so' and lots of looking round for the voice of wisdom to arrive. Whats that about.

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 00:09:47

why are you on mn?code for don't dare diss the luffly mn
Spectacularly missing point its discursive forum,for debate,riposte.it's not hugs world

EchoBitch Thu 28-Mar-13 00:11:37

It's called sucking up StairsInTheNight.

Or Brown nosing.

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 00:12:44

Lol,the where's Wally whatshername threads..if she such a bestie why not email?
Oh I know,because you dont know em and are restricted to the words on screen

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 00:13:35

Yes, all this "Why are you here if you dislike it so much?" It's a discussion. Things can always be improved, even MN.

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 00:14:07

The fan threads were folk brown nose if only Wally where her,she'd sort y'all out

ComposHat Belgium Thu 28-Mar-13 00:15:21

I know LRD I guess they think we are really thick - as if we'd actually chosen to live in cramped living conditions or set up precarious childcare arrangements for the heck of it.

I wonder how those thoughtless rich fucks manage to solve any problem that can't be fixed by chucking money at it.

I think the competitive poverty thing - it is usually middle class whimsy or tightfistedness dressed up a poverty (we've not switched the AGA on at all this winter type guff) that gets on my nerves.

Of course I have a great deal of sympathy for posters who are genuinely hard up - although they don't tend to go on about it and engage in poverty oneupmanship.

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 00:17:27

Get your hair coloured!..as if panacea to all crises.or affordable or desireable

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 00:17:46

Would you like some budgeting advice? <ducks>

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 00:19:35

hmmm actually colouring my hair might make me less angry....it will certainly alter peoples perceptions of me as an angry redhead....

<wonders if hair dressers will be open over the bank holiday weekend.>

if it helps, let me just tell you at great length about my partners deep love for me and that he worships me in many ways let me describe them. Just so as you know there are decent men out there, op.

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 00:21:13

Why cant you eke out life on 7p a day.like I do.

ComposHat Belgium Thu 28-Mar-13 00:24:30

I also hate the phrase 'welfare family' we are all 'welfare families' in one way or another. Like most people I have had 'handouts' from the state from the moment I was born in an NHS hospital, overseen by staff trained by taxes.

I also hate the predictable bullshit tales of the 'next door neighbour on benefits has a plasma, holiday, car' etc.

Most of all I hate myself. I cannot leave those threads alone and feel compelled - like a fly to the shite - to add my two pen'oth and tell the OP that they are not in possession of all the facts/ ill-informed/an idiot/a liar/a cunt/Richard Littlejohn depending on how much they've made my blood boil.

I am genuinely hard up, compos. Far more hard up than you, in fact ... sigh ...

I can't go into detail ... and my illness makes it so hard not to ramble on ...

My bank account, at Barclays with the sort code 45-45-65, in case you wondered ... it's not got a good interest rate.

sad

Before my darling dad died he told me I was always too proud to accept help.

sad sad

ComposHat Belgium Thu 28-Mar-13 00:42:22

I am genuinely hard up, compos. Far more hard up than you, in fact ... sigh

I can't go into detail ... and my illness makes it so hard not to ramble on ...

My bank account, at Barclays with the sort code 45-45-65, in case you wondered ... it's not got a good interest rate.

sad

Before my darling dad died he told me I was always too proud to accept help.

sad sad

Great stuff - I have read 'woe is me threads' that aren't a million miles away from this. They seem so calculated and I often reckon that the OP fancies themselves as a 'proud but poor' heroine in a Catherine Cookson novel.

There is someone who admitted ages ago that they deliberated used MN to practice their creative writing, isn't there? Or maybe that was a myth.

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 00:49:43

ohhh plasma cars....they sound fun! Or do I mean painful.

plasma goats are where it is AT.

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Thu 28-Mar-13 00:58:19

TypeandWank LRD, and all his/her other names.

S/He has posted a fair few threads in the last few days, I'd bet my life on it. Of course I'm not allowed to say anything because that would make me a nasty troll-hunter who is ruining this wonderful troll-free site.

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Thu 28-Mar-13 00:59:15

PenAndInk really, but I suspect this post will be deleted grin

ilovesooty Netherlands Thu 28-Mar-13 00:59:22

Using strikeout to make passive aggressive posts

Yes

Everybody is TOXIC I suggest you read Lundy Bancroft or Shirley Glass

Yes to that as well.

I'd add "This is a red flag, OP" - I don't think I hear people talking about red flags in RL. And also "Please post in Relationships where you'll get lots of support (ie everyone there will agree with you and confirm that your husband is Completely in the Wrong and you are totally without fault.)

ComposHat Belgium Thu 28-Mar-13 01:03:37

LRD I think there were a couple of AIBU's where someone had been testing their creative writing skills (they really weren't up to much) one was a thread where someone had been orphaned in the Zeebrugge ferry disaster and had been swindled out of their inheritance by a wicked Aunt and Uncle.

I think people started to cry foul when the whole thing was resolved in a month or so after the wicked Aunt was thrown out of the OP's childhood home.

If you have a spare half hour this is it:

Utter Cobblers

ComposHat Belgium Thu 28-Mar-13 01:06:55

I have just done one of my own pet hates on AIBU in the post above - using a greengrocer's apostrophe for a plural - 'AIBU's'

ItsallisnowaFeegle Thu 28-Mar-13 01:16:54

From a snippet of information (about something that DP does/ has done that pisses you right off) given to explain a point etc, some posters take it upon themselves to take said snippet, chew it, mull it over, expand it in their own heads, adding on frills, and then offer unwanted and unasked for -- thread hi-jacking nonsense -- advice or opinion on your entire relationship and explain how shite it is.

Unfair, especially when your relationship isn't too bloody shabby, thank you very much! wink

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 01:21:16

Accusations of drip-feeding are a bit daft. Especially because long OPs are also derided. Nobody puts their whole life story in an OP, unless they have had an extremely tedious existence, in which case they might.

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 01:26:58

Mind you, I've seen complaints about "Marking place" - I suppose it does seem a bit rude to the OP. Now I have to think of something more constructive. blush Like, "here's a link I got by googling"

ComposHat Belgium Thu 28-Mar-13 01:36:30

I think sometimes an accusation of drip feeding is fair enough.
Quite often you get threads like this:

Was I BU to hit my Granny in the face?

- Posters unanimously tell her OP she is being unreasonable.

OP reappears and 'clarifies' the situation and says that Granny is a homicidal maniac and was chasing her round the house with a machete.

It sometimes seems to be a deliberate tactic to slip in some new detail that utterly changes the complexion of the story and puts them in the right in the hope that posters will start taking their side.

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 02:07:00

Fair enough. Depends on the situation then.

TheRealFellatio Thu 28-Mar-13 02:38:06

Why did you have children with him then?

(although I secretly think this 99% of the time)

I'm wondering if there are any words/phrases we are allowed to use then?
As everything seems to piss someone off?

Oh well, I shall continue as normal. As you were. smile

SayCoolNowSayWhip Thu 28-Mar-13 06:36:08

Ah but Tantrums is that a PA smile or a genuine smile?

After this thread I just can't tell any more.... confused

Oh very PA. Very very PA grin

I actually should know better than to read these threads, they make me very.....I don't know, cuntish, if that's even a word.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Thu 28-Mar-13 07:01:34

Cuntesque?

Act with an air of cuntilescence?

I like those. I may borrow those words if that's ok?

They may be useful grin

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 08:01:24

'I'm really upset that DH went to a lapdancing club' followed by about 20 pages of:

'Women grinding their cunts in your DH's drooling face isn't cheating'

'My DH just goes for a drink and a chat about football'

'You see more than that on the beach'

'I do it and I'm studying for a PhD'

'How would you like it if your DH tried to say where you could and couldn't spend a relaxing evening?'

'It's every woman's right to grind her cunt in a drooling stranger's face for money'

'I've got a pole in my living room and it's great for fitness.

kim147 Thu 28-Mar-13 08:03:50

I'm pleased to see some of these responses on the thread I just started.

TheRealFellatio Thu 28-Mar-13 08:19:21

hahahaha limited SOOOO true!

But you forgot to add those who wear their boot on the other foot:

'He is an abusive, misogynist sociopath who hates women. He's probably capable of rape.'

and

'You should leave him immediately. He is clearly an abusive misogynist sociopath who hates you. He'll probably want to come home and rape you.'

and

'Those women don't lap dance through choice you know - they've been trafficked age 12 from Moldova and they are kept in a cellar and force fed heroin.'

There is nothing quite like a good lap-dancing thread to polarise opinion.

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 08:22:35

True fell, none of which helps the OP who thinks her world is falling apart.

Hullygully Thu 28-Mar-13 09:41:49

I think one should differentiate between nasty and unhelpful responses eg "Entitled much" etc etc etc

and so-called injokes which help to make the site cohesive and create a sense of friendship and belonging such as goats, acronyms etc.

I wonder if the people that don't like the injokes are simply those that weren't part of them at the outset and feel excluded?

MrsHuxtable Thu 28-Mar-13 10:02:46

I really hate "Happy mum = happy baby" when someone questions/judges someone else's parenting choices.

It's ridiculous. There are plenty of irresponsible, selfish women out there having children and just because their lifestyle/parenting choices suits them, doesn't mean it's in the best interest of their children, making them happy.

"AIBU to judge SIL for leaving her baby with a different sitter each say so she can go our clubbing?!

Reply: "Whatever works for her. Happy mum, happy baby!"

Really? I mean REALLY?????

Mumsnet needs to be a bit more judgemental at times. All this pc bullshit really gets on my nerves.

But it's not actually hard to catch up with the "in jokes" is it?

I mean, they aren't posted in Mumsnet Swahili are they?

Just join in FFS.

There, that was probably both unhelpful and nasty. So I get a prize?

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-13 10:30:40

I want a prize... and a huge red flag to go waving in people's faces in RL. grin

And a goat.

TheRealFellatio Thu 28-Mar-13 11:21:42

Have we had 'your house your rules' yet? I hate that.

TomArchersSausage Thu 28-Mar-13 11:24:02

I always chortle at responses to people who dare to metion a present on either their or dc's birthdays.

The inevitable collective wail of outrage that anyone should have the nerve to hope for a small pressie on a b/day is incredible.

Many times threads descend into people trying to out-worthy each other

Reminds me of the four Yorkshireman:
A cup o' cold tea.
Without milk or sugar.
Or tea.
In a cracked cup, an' all.
Oh, we never had a cup

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-13 11:26:21

Aye You were lucky grin

TomArchersSausage Thu 28-Mar-13 11:28:19

grin

vladthedisorganised Thu 28-Mar-13 11:46:33

How about:
OP posts something really innocuous, like "I really don't like eating kebabs in the street. AIBU?"

Responses include:
"You sound like a deeply unpleasant person, TBH."
"I would never dream of judging someone who eats kebabs in the street. You are clearly an overprivileged twat who is going to strangle themselves with their judgypants and I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A KEBAB!!!"
"hee hee hee nice one"
OP - "but I'm vegetarian and all I was saying was..."
"Oh, now we've got the lentil-weavers in.. <sigh>"

I've seen a couple of threads go this way and it annoys the hell out of me.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 28-Mar-13 11:46:58

Tantrums have my very first biscuit

And my last ill be eating the rest.

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 11:48:57

"You sound like a deeply unpleasant person" is a classic cliche which should be banned. Heavily overused. And a bit unreasonable.

TomArchersSausage Thu 28-Mar-13 11:50:10

Oh yes 'judging'. What's that all about?confused

Everyone that has a waking thought about anything has made a judgement of some sort.

MyDarlingClementine England Thu 28-Mar-13 11:59:11

grin @ limited

MiniEggsJumpedInMyBasket Thu 28-Mar-13 12:02:27

'Why post on AIBU if you're not going to do exactly as we all say?'

Trills Thu 28-Mar-13 12:08:41

Outlaw?! shock

Who is da fred polis now?

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-13 12:12:56

I hate 'the thread police' - twats.

There will soon be no words we are actually allowed I have decided that the word THE offends me. Please refrain from using it. It is pointless.

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-13 12:21:37

Can we still say 'wank badger'?

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Thu 28-Mar-13 12:40:11

Don't ban the 'wank Badger' or 'leave the bastard'

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 12:44:22

"Leave the bastard" is almost certainly iconic rather than cliched.

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 12:56:44

I haven't seen 'cocklodger' for a while. Do they still use it on Relationships?

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Thu 28-Mar-13 12:58:20

I definately saw 'cocklodger' the other day.

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 13:43:52

I think this talk of nothing left to say is over egging it...

We can replace 'grip' and 'biscuit' with 'TIGER' and 'fuck the fuck off' with 'wrap it in cunt bunting and pop it up your bottom' and I for one will be happy for at least a few more weeks...

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 14:02:09

Yes, we just need a bit of originality. Use your own words, not someone else's. Especially not the Daily Mail's. Creative variations on the cliched themes would at least be more interesting to read. Rude as you like.

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 14:03:52

There are online thesauruses.

TheBigJessie Thu 28-Mar-13 15:24:16

No-one says, "are you young any more?" Have you noticed?

DorcasDelIcatessen Thu 28-Mar-13 15:38:45

Anyone who says
"Sits On Hands..." I just imagine you typing with your face.

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Thu 28-Mar-13 15:39:48

Would it be easier to compile a list of things that are allowed on an AIBU thread?

I'll start.

YABU

or

YANBU

That's it. End of Thread grin

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 15:48:37

Wouldn't this be better in FWR?

ICBINEG Thu 28-Mar-13 15:51:24

maryz grin

that could work...in fact it could be a tick box / radio button.

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-13 16:03:16

I am definitely going to say 'sits on hands' at some point and then type with my face.

DorcasDelIcatessen Thu 28-Mar-13 16:24:08

Cool You grin Me imagining it wouldn't be needed.

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-13 16:42:05

sits on hands

ytyuu87yu

grin

SneezingwakestheJesus Thu 28-Mar-13 17:42:41

Can we please outlaw people saying "dude"? I feel like I'm reading posts by my teenage brother.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 28-Mar-13 18:04:13

Oh, but I rather like a well placed 'dude' - let it stay.

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 18:12:15

Dude makes me think of past it mammies thinking they are hipsters
Yea dude,go do the groceries and school,run and stop pretending to be too cool for skool

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 18:17:03

Could we vote on all of these? Have a dinky questionnaire?

WorraLiberty England Thu 28-Mar-13 18:21:33

Can we please outlaw people saying "dude"? I feel like I'm reading posts by my teenage brother.

Oh god yes I cringe when I read/hear that from any adult.

It's so 'try hard teenager' and really shouldn't be said by anyone over the age of 15.

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 18:31:24

If you're on mn you're most certainly not a dude,nor is anyone else
Anyone remotely hip,and from dudeland isn't posting on mn,fact
Dudes are achingly cool elsewhere,unlike try too hard mammies giving it yo-yo dude

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 18:35:04

Well, I'm a dude and I post here
D'ye want to do battle scottishmummy?
Barebreasted in the auld Highland fashion?

TheBigJessie Thu 28-Mar-13 18:35:32

Dude, we're just being ironic/patronising/[insert adjective]. Deal with it, 'kay!

scottishmummy France Thu 28-Mar-13 18:43:44

Nope,if your a mammie saying dude or you posting on mn you're not a dude
And proclaiming self to be dude,well that's even more cringey
Up there with Folk who say im funny me.inevitably they are not

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 18:44:45

<sits on hands>

yhttttttttuj

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 18:46:08

Interesting. When I sit on my hands, I have nearly the same original thought as YouTheCat.

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 18:47:05

Your head is a bit pointier, though, Cat.

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Mar-13 18:48:04

Actually, I’m not a dude;
I’m a Blackadder nerd and an English one too;
And I felt a challenge to ye scottishmummy, stirring in ma sporran.

SneezingwakestheJesus Thu 28-Mar-13 18:49:16

I find it a million more times annoying when someone says it to someone who has made it clear they are female as well. I'm all for equality but it makes me want to murder. <takes this too seriously>

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 18:51:57

Hey, guys, cool it, no?

TheBigJessie Thu 28-Mar-13 18:54:38

But:

Dude, YABU works so well.

Dude, can't you see that?

TheBigJessie Thu 28-Mar-13 18:56:46

Dude, no. just no. <shakes head>

It makes me feel like the Fonz, if I say dude. I feel laconic and sophisticated.

SneezingwakestheJesus Thu 28-Mar-13 19:24:21

<attacks cestle>

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-13 20:57:21

Cestlesautres, I think I used my nose a bit too. grin

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 21:03:16

It was fun, wasn't it? Brings a whole new meaning to "facepalm".

Sneezin, I see ya dude.

PickledInAPearTree Thu 28-Mar-13 21:25:07

What I'm not hip anymore?

Fucks sake.

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-13 21:26:16

Give me a few years and, never mind being hip, I'll need a new one. grin

cestlesautres Thu 28-Mar-13 22:51:32

LOL

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