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To wonder where everyone has gone?

(521 Posts)
Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:21:24

I pop on, stroll down active, and don't know any of the names shock

It won't do.

Where are all the people I know?

Have they been culled?

Moldies XII?

SadGiantPanda Tue 26-Mar-13 11:22:00

Name-changing sock puppets.


LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 11:22:31

Well, I'm here...mwah, mwah...

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:23:46

Hello Queenie.

Eh? Everyone I know has been bodysnatched by namechanging sockpuppets?

SadGiantPanda Tue 26-Mar-13 11:28:36

Yes, everyone. Including you.

ginslinger Tue 26-Mar-13 11:34:28

I'm still here but I thought there might have been a mouldies coup and no one told me

ginslinger Tue 26-Mar-13 11:34:46

there are some total loons around at the moment

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:35:21

It's weird isn't it?

Suddenly everyone has gone en masse.

<surveys skies for spaceships>

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 11:36:18

I am here. I shouldn't be though I ranked no3 in the most comments or something one week so I am scaling it back.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:37:25

Where is everyone else sparkling? Do you know? Have you seen em?

Im here...hey hulls had an IPOAT thread adventure idea? cavaliers and roundheads...reflecting the rather Crucible like tone of mn atm. (gets out stopwatch and starts taking bets on how many seconds it takes for sm to pitch up with pointy sticks)

ginslinger Tue 26-Mar-13 11:37:46

maybe it's early Easter hols or the goady fuckers have ground everyone down

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 11:39:16

Who you after Hully? I have seen Stratters somewhere I think. She is back from the DIY.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:41:11

Hey Mimi...go for it.

I haven't seen Abs, Pag, Tifty, Stratters, Bups, Shirl, Getorf, Fell, Tantrums, Talc, Fids and co, Sue, etc etc

no one calls me Mimi anymore. sob.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:42:03

I know, tis very sad. There is an ipoat thread sore neglected hanging around somewhere.

MintyyAeroEgg Tue 26-Mar-13 11:42:20

You can talk Lady.

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 11:42:39

Bups has a new name. wink Talc is definitely about with her Talcicon artwork.

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Tue 26-Mar-13 11:42:55

I'm here but you probably don't know me.

Name changes? I saw Tantrums yesterday, I think it was.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:44:24

here Mimi

Are you Chaos, chaotic?
Minty, yes, but that's because I never see anyone I know no more

Knid is another

maybe they gave up mumsnet for lent?

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:44:45

Oh yes, Bups is MT I believe?

MintyyAeroEgg Tue 26-Mar-13 11:45:05

Fenton is back. Stratters is back.

do you think the widow umami would get burnt at the stake? we would have to stage an intervention...lovelocks, lovelace and love knots aflying...

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:45:14

It's not good enough hobnobs. I expect people to be here.

Overreactionoftheweek Tue 26-Mar-13 11:45:26

I'm here! <waves frantically>

No, you don't know me...but I'm still here

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 11:45:43

yes, that's the one Hully. grin Don't know why she changed it-we all know it's her.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:46:21

<peers through lorgnette at Overreaction>

Good morning.

well I'm back after a sabbatical namechange and already spending too much of my annual leave on here.

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 11:47:57

Good hobnobs, you can be top of the comments list. grin

TheVermiciousKnid Tue 26-Mar-13 11:48:14


I'm here.

Some bloody not-yet-extinct panda stole my bamboo socks, so I coulnd't come out to play.

Anyway, I'm here now. Do something to entertain me. I don't want to do any work.

Sparkling smile

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Tue 26-Mar-13 11:49:38

No, Hully, I'm not Chaos.

You're not the first to ask me though grin

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 11:49:39

Je suis ici dans ma nom de plume pour le pascale <fluent>

I miss shirley and suepurblybilt but they have gorn to facebook I have been told.

I have seen most of the others on your list though recently.

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 11:49:42

I think everyone has dashed out to buy Ferrero Rocher Bunnies.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 26-Mar-13 11:50:28

I'm here and not a sock puppet!

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Tue 26-Mar-13 11:50:47

Sparkling just admit're a 'chatterbos' grin

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 11:51:03

Mais tu est tres belle, GetOeuf! Et tres fluent aussi.

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Tue 26-Mar-13 11:51:32

Chatterbox blush

we could shelter King Charles II in the cellar

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 11:52:30

I probably am Chaotic. grin I was a bit blush to be on the list though. it was a week where I had been very busy in RL. shock

Overreactionoftheweek Tue 26-Mar-13 11:53:34

Oooh what's a lorgnette? Every day's a school day on MN.

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 11:54:09

Are they those glasses on a stick?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 26-Mar-13 11:54:38
ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Tue 26-Mar-13 11:55:40

Then be prepared to be top from now on then grin

catgirl1976 Tue 26-Mar-13 11:56:02

I am here. I am always here.

I thought about getting a life but it looked like a faff

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Tue 26-Mar-13 11:56:14

I can just picture Hully with lognettes grin

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Tue 26-Mar-13 11:56:39

Oh, ffs, lorgnettes hmm

Overreactionoftheweek Tue 26-Mar-13 11:58:26

Ha brilliant picture - Hully, you are now Lady Bracknell in my mind's eye

And I want a lorgnette

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 12:00:27


HaHa catgirl grin
Me too

How do I check if I've reached the top of the MN chat charts yet ?

(One has to have something to aim for in life !)

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 12:03:25

I'm here Hulls. I imagine Paggy is on a flight to somewhere fabulous, what with it being the school holidays.

Do I look under competitions ? wink

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:05:04

Is it warm and sunny where you are Fell? <wistful>

Of course it is. Brian is coming soon, in't she?

JaquelineHyde Tue 26-Mar-13 12:05:11

I'm shocked ScottishMummy's klaxon hasn't gorn off yet, we all know how much she loves a thread like this grin

ItsallisnowaFeegle Tue 26-Mar-13 12:05:15

I'm here...that doesn't mean you recognise me though grin

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 12:06:10

But I agree - it's harder and harder to find familiar faces here lately. I saw Stratters back today, but I miss Pinot. sad

Usual is still sulking, and SueP has disappeared.

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 12:08:36

Brian is coming on Friday but I go on my hols on Friday so she'll just have to manage the madness without me for a bit. She'll be a shellshocked wreck by the time I get back. grin

It's been a bit cloudy this week and a bit rainy as well. But it's still warm.

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 12:09:22

Sorry that should say Brain. It's my autocorrect.

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 12:09:59

Although I think BrianSurgeon is inspired. grin

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 12:11:32

If you are performing searches to find your mates Hulls, don't forget they might be wearing Easter name changes.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:11:52

You're not going to Blighty on hols are you? It's fucking FREEZING

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:12:33

No, I wasn't doing searches. I just expect people to be there on demand. <reasonable>

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 12:14:03

grin Of course it is. We don't come here to have to make an effort with strangers Goddammit.


FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 12:14:23

I'm here, but am a bit scared after my flailing at the weekend.....

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 12:15:29

I'm going to Blighty on hols next Saturday to the fucking Peak District angry

JeffFaFa Tue 26-Mar-13 12:16:58

I think aibu has been generally quiet the past few weeks, maybe MN is doing a bounty and dying a horrible death [shocked]

im getting proper internet for the first time in a year...this afternoon. will be much easier.

YouTheCat Tue 26-Mar-13 12:21:40

There was a damn good flounce last week though.

im getting proper internet for the first time in a year...this afternoon. will be much easier.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:24:01

Are you Mimi?

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:24:13

Are you Mimi?

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:24:52

How come you was flailed, funnys?

<ignores Thailand while FROTHING with jealous rage>

course i blinkin am. just posted in chat to engage with the interloper. maybe i could namechange to mimidefarge...but makes me feel a bit sad. i love my nm.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:33:02

No no, she has to change. Tis only fair and right.

Does she need a duffing up?

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 26-Mar-13 12:33:16

I'm here.
There was a thread like this a couple of days ago and everybody turned up.
Fenton and Stratters have just returned.
I too await scottishmummy to come on and call us all sooks.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:35:27

I wasn't there, LBE so I don't think it's correct to say EVERYBODY turned up.

If you don't mind.

no. im sure its a genuine mistake. hope she agrees to change. but dont want a bunfight.

i said i lurved you . sm frothed.

bless her creepy wee brackets....

bless her creepy wee brackets....

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:40:36

Oh that's nice (the lurve), I shall pour you a nice glass of Maiden Juice.

Let's beat her up anyway.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 26-Mar-13 12:41:13

I apologise profusely Hully grin
No you weren't there and were sadly missed.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Tue 26-Mar-13 12:44:07

I am back. Did'ya miss me?

(the only answer to that is 'yes' btw)


catgirl1976 Tue 26-Mar-13 12:45:28

Yes smile

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 12:47:04

I saw your flouncy thread Fenton. Glad you're back.

oh yes. deffo. madelaine, anyone?

EostreChaotichasRisen Tue 26-Mar-13 12:47:50

Oui wink

i wanted to flounce. but didnt have the energy. thank heavens for the Hall...i crept back in vair quietly.

TheSecondComing Tue 26-Mar-13 12:53:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 12:59:50

Funnys why did you get flamed?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 26-Mar-13 13:08:05

Did we miss who ...?

VanitasVanitatum Tue 26-Mar-13 13:19:03

I'm here!!

<jumps up and down waving frantically>

Oh wait, you don't know who I am...

<slinks back out of thread shamefaced>


Ive been pretending to have a real life.

I am bored of that now

i am so out of the loop....

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 13:23:56

<lassos Mimi back in>

Hey Tantrums!

no no. Vanitas! do join us! have a petit four and a small glass of ratafia?

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 13:24:18

Who ARE you Vanitas?

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 13:24:41

Oh Mimi is so much politer...

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 13:25:18

I mean "more polite" of course

thank you hully! I am off to the kitchen to prepare further refreshments...any requests?

Icelollycraving Tue 26-Mar-13 13:28:12

I'm here. What was the most posts thing about sparkling?

Icelollycraving Tue 26-Mar-13 13:29:20

madame I'd love a nice cup of builders please if you are going the drinks run smile

ErrorError Tue 26-Mar-13 13:31:53

I'm here but don't know if anyone knows me. Fairly regular poster but only been on here a few months, I usually just dip in and out of AIBU and Chat. The name I see pop up on virtually every thread I'm on is WorraLiberty! I'd expect the four horsemen of the apocalypse to turn up if Worra left MN! grin

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Tue 26-Mar-13 13:32:24

And where have YOU been HG?

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 13:40:26

I am not sure Ice but someone got up how many posts were made and the sort of top ten that week. I think the info is obtainable but don't know how.

Icelollycraving Tue 26-Mar-13 13:41:55

Good god,I dread to think. Sometimes I feel I spend sooo much time on here!

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 13:43:22

Here it is I have slipped a few places. Yay!!

errr...absolument! but are you sure you wouldnt prefer a nice tisane? or a dish of bohea? (racks 18th-century brain for meaning of builders tea, perhaps she means masons?)

Icelollycraving Tue 26-Mar-13 13:45:50

Pigletjohn is like the king of good housekeeping.

I wish I had someone to miss me sad <<weeps a bit>>

Icelollycraving Tue 26-Mar-13 13:47:08


oh i miss you lobster patty will perk you up!

<<peers dubiously at minced lobster>>

I missed you hotCrossWeasel

if its good enough for the price regent its good enough for you hotcross....(whisks lovely platter away for the delictation of more discerning folk) Hully?

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 13:52:13

Still managed 5th though Sparkling grin

gah..Prince Regent (gets all misty eyed about Prinny in his youth...Florizel indeed!)

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 13:56:06

I was flailed for stupidly starting an AIBU about cash. LaQ had to look after me and so did Hec. I ended up being called morally bankrupt for living in Jersey. It was scary I can tell you. They were all offering me financial advice and telling me I was about to go bankrupt

ginslinger Tue 26-Mar-13 13:57:00

I have been missing seeing that rarity, the sense of humour. The po-faced fuckers piling into threads and lambasting people because they've got not sense of fun. I weep.

<<breathes sigh of relief at rapidly departing mixed Lobster parts>>

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 13:57:44

Florizel!?!? Sounds like an air freshener grin

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 13:58:37

Don't say that Chaotic 5th is so much better than 3rd. I am getting better. grin

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 14:01:12

cheers TSC they were totes and utter cunts and I had their asses deleted en masse

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 14:02:04

It must be the only top ten where getting lower down/off the list is seen to be a good thing grin

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 14:12:10

What happened Funnys TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME I've just searched and I can't find anything exciting. Was the whole thread deleted? Just the bare bones of the story and a PM to name any particularly nasty bastards will do. don't go to too much trouble or anything. grin

that spreadsheet thingy looks scary, btw. I don't want to think to carefully about what might be on it.

ooh! I lived in jersey when a little one! lived attached to a martello tower and went to the catholic primary for girls...what the hell was it called? and my best friend was called Blanche. my brothers went to de la selle...cant belive ive forgotten!

VanitasVanitatum Tue 26-Mar-13 14:14:45

I am nobody as I am dreadfully new but don't you have something stronger than ratafia darlings?!

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 14:16:38

Oh ok, just seen the explanation up thread. Don't worry. Ignore me.

you newbies are well demanding!

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 14:19:44

Fell the whole thread went. I got a bit defensive which is a mistake on AIBU and then proceeded to get ripped to shreads for complaining that the bank had gone back on an offer to do us an equity release after we had spent money on planning etc. Basically the size of my mortgage, the value of our home, our salary and our location did NOT go in my favour. I'm sure you understand what with living in the morally bankrupt middle east yourself wink and no doubt earing a huge tax free salary all at the expense of the British taxpayer

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 14:20:29

Bankrupt in Jersey?

Did you ever meet Gerry Durrell? <pretends familiarity with use of Gerry>

VanitasVanitatum Tue 26-Mar-13 14:21:01

Sorry madame blush

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 14:21:33

and Hully since you didn't bother to turn up on my conclave thread after I had name checked you, I'm not sure I should be even talking to you <huff>

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 14:22:06

Did you say "I am terribly rich but I need more?" That never goes down well.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 14:22:31

conclave thread? were there cardinals and smoke?

whats wrong with Jersey?

<misses point..... spectacularly>

magimedi Tue 26-Mar-13 14:24:17

Newbie here who would prefer gin to ratafia.

Claim to fame is I have met Gerry & his first wife, Jacqueline, but was a child at the time.

I well remember the zoo opening & going in its first week. It was v.v. exciting.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 14:25:01

Oh magi I am so jel. Gerry is my hero.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 14:25:36

I usually called him Gezza and yes we were on nodding terms if I caught him near the marmosets.

And Madame was that FCJ or Hellvetia? I can't think of any houses attached to a Martello tower, how exciting. Where did you live?

oh go on, Van. have some of Fiderer's homebrew...tis miraculous!

magimedi Tue 26-Mar-13 14:25:58

whats wrong with Jersey?

If you live/have lived or were born there you are automatically a rich entitled fucker according to many.

(I was born there & am neither rich nor entitled. I can be a fucker from time to time.)

magimedi Tue 26-Mar-13 14:26:45

Madame, was the house attached to a martello on the East Coast & did it begin with the letter 'K'??

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 14:27:21

You did not call him Gezza you big liar.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 14:28:18

Hully that was how it was interpreted I think grin I shoulda thunked it out a bit more, but I was cross and weary. The odd Jim Bowen lookalike on the conclave thread but no actual popes or cardinals

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 14:30:31

tis troo I lied, I have been to the zoo though, or Durrell as we now like to call it........

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 14:33:47

oh god yes, Funnys, everything's my fault. I'm used to it. grin

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 14:33:54

Newbie here who would prefer gin to ratafia.

I prefer southern comfort to gin, never had ratafia.

FCJ! yes! it was in the road from St Helier To whatsisname...right on the beach. we were only there for a year or so but when you are seven its a lifetime! another family lived in the actual tower bit. shit. yes I think it was K

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 14:35:43

see Fell I hadn't realised and had been blithely going about my MN business. I feel such a naive fuel

err..its not a blinkin bar! still, gin sounds good.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 14:37:13

Madame St Clement? How come you lived here and how long ago wassit?

VanitasVanitatum Tue 26-Mar-13 14:37:47

Not a bar?!? I'm clearly here under false pretences

<flounces out of thread>

cor! the ingratitude!

magimedi Tue 26-Mar-13 14:39:06


On the road from St Helier to Gorey.

Tide went out for miles & miles & miles?

I've pm'd you about the 'K' as will totally out myself.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 14:39:56

Minced lobster and not a bar hmm

we went because my dad had a contract there. we terroised the staff of the Beaufort Hotel for about a month whenwe first arrived. it must have been1971 or so...tell me more!

pmd you!

fine. cheezy footballs and gin all round. (tips off apron). i was trying to be welcoming. mutter mutter.

VanitasVanitatum Tue 26-Mar-13 14:50:14

That's where they've all gone hully, they're off pming without you.

no. they left because the newbies were so blinkin entitled! grumble grumble.

I hate gin.

Can I have a vodka? With blueberry Red Bull? Please.

I'm dead classy, me.

It might cure the utter actual tediousness of my job.
Or even just hide it under a blueberry haze of loveliness.

VanitasVanitatum Tue 26-Mar-13 14:58:55

Blueberry redbull?! Say what?!

Please accept my humble newbie apologies madame.. I shall fuck the fuck back off to obscurity smile

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:00:46

Ach - the oldest mistake in the book Funnys - you walked right into their trap didn't ye? That's learn you, fro bragging that you've got more than a few pies in your freezer for a snow day. Were they sharpening their guillotine?

TBH I've become reluctant to post on so many threads on so many topics about pretty much anything except gin and silliness that I don't know why I come here at all any more really. The place is a minefield. Even the most harmless of threads can go tits up. I approach everything with caution, like I'm on army manoeuvres. unless I'm drunk and then I just post and be damned.

'Tis very nice.

It is purple. Makes the drink look vair pretty grin

the bar is over there. its alock in. help yourselves!

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:05:13

My husband went on holiday to Jersey when he was nine, and got horribly, horribly sunburnt. Perhaps you met him? Blonde hair? Glasses? Cahin smoking parents? Sore shoulders?


yes. I miss the wit. has all become a bit earnest. and rank nastiness applauded as shooting from the hip. no room for lightening of moods and silliness. obviously thats a generalisation. but having had a break of over a year the change is marked...shrug. cant change it. its the nature of the beast. but really hating the arrival of the huns.

i remember him! he was my first snog! or maybe not....

It's true. You simply cannot have a lighthearted thread anymore.

Even marking it in the title as <lighthearted> doesn't work.

I think the grim, joyless fuckers read that and think "oh lovely another thread for me to piss all over"

It's pretty miserable tbh

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 15:12:46

You are not wrong Tantrums. Even my 'Ant and Dec for a webchat' thread went tits up. sad

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 15:13:14

I like gin but maybe I'll try some vodka with blueberry Red Bull, it sounds erm...interesting smile

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 15:16:44

how sparkling?

just how??

KLet's have a competition to start threads that are as innocuous as possible and see how quickly they go wrong.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 15:17:28

Fell I'm the same and tend to stick to threads like this for the larks. It's all so tedious when things get heavy man. They did have their guillotine all ready to chop off my fat entitled head.

It is very easy to get sunburned in Jersey as the air is so clear. I hope your husband learned his lesson there <tuts and shakes head at the callowness of youth>

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:18:16

There was a thread about sitting next to strangers at wedding receptions the other day. People were moaning at having to share tables with people who were not their friends. I wanted to make a joke about sitting next to a deaf, mad old auntie, and then I thought 'Nooooo...don't mention old. Or deaf. And definitely don't mention mad...'


FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 15:18:37

right, I'm in. I could get one going sharpish if I started an AIBU about money again.............

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:19:25

Oh top idea Hulls. Where shall we start?

The deaf, mad, old auntie might just do it actually.

MintyyAeroEgg Tue 26-Mar-13 15:19:50

I've been here for what seems like an eternity (7 years) and had my first ever whole thread deleted this week. And a you've been norty email from HQ. And all for pointing and laughing at some terrible Estate Agents pictures.

I got told on by two mumsnetters, one of whom also pmd me to tell me off as well!!

But where can I go to lark around and not be po-faced about everything?

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 15:19:53

I'll start one about a spoon.

good idea huls. i have one for aibu...shall i go for it?

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:23:27

grin Mintyy that's hilarious. I wanted to post some property anti-porn the other day as well but I thought I'd get told off as the house in question was very cheap and the people probably didn't have heat and food according to MN but clearly had enough money for luminous scary paint.

In fact I'm going to find it and show you.

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:23:58

A spoon? the mind boggles.

Someone's bound to stir it Hully ! wink

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 15:25:46

I dunnit

Tiredmumno1 Tue 26-Mar-13 15:27:13

I'm around smile

Although people tend to ignore me, probably bored of seeing my name when I pop up grin

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:29:01

I'm pissing myself Hully. I can't go near that thread for at least 20 minutes or I'll blow your cover. grin

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 15:29:52

hello tiredmum <waves>

i dunnit too...

Tiredmumno1 Tue 26-Mar-13 15:31:54

Hiya hully, hope you are well? smile

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 15:33:10

Going to have a look.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 15:33:59

for the first time in an AGE I am actually sitting here sniggering uncontrollaby

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 15:34:47

Ant and Dec are downmarket apparently Hully. It was all going so well then the fun police arrived and said Ant and Dec were on ITV/not parents etc and would therefore not be welcome.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 15:35:47


Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Mar-13 15:36:55


TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:38:23

Arf at Fun Police.

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 15:38:56

Where MD, where?


Maybe you would be less offended by people if you stopped persecuting them with macerated crustaceans?

magimedi Tue 26-Mar-13 16:05:38

Fellatio you are very norty - am cracking up re 'the jobs'.

scowls at hotcross. glugs more fizz.

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 16:17:42

Well, I like to think that no one can cause a light hearted thread to go tits up, faster than I can?

I like to think of it as a gift <preens>

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 16:19:46

Well I'd like to argue with you LaQueen, but... grin

Tiredmumno1 Tue 26-Mar-13 16:20:07

You lot are so bad grin you probably just confused half of MN.

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 16:24:37

Oh dear I may have just gone too far on MD's internet thread.

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 16:24:44

First rule of MN... no one argues with LaQueen...second rule of MN, etc...

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 16:25:58


FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 16:28:25

Granny Fanny grin that is awful

Unwritten rule of MN

LaQueens not scary and rather sweet. And is not alway correct.

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 16:29:45

No-one's biting though. sad I think they know us too well. We should have made the OPs name change.

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 16:31:15

Right. Much though it pains me to leave you all, I have to go and dye the roots of my hair now. Laterz.

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 16:32:46

[grabs Hot in headlock,and bundles her off the thread...]

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 16:34:50

True Fell

What the Hell... I'm prepared to take one for the team. How about I start a thread asking why France doesn't do luxury holiday cottages...?

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 16:35:34

maybe later I will start one but we all have to allow the po room to get their teeth in. I will muse upon a suitable anodyne yet explosive subject

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 16:36:09

do it LaQ and give them all room to bite

elQuintoConyo Tue 26-Mar-13 16:36:53

I've been here over a year. I used to be vamosbebe waves pompoms no one's mentioned me, I feel very small sad

ooh come to mine queenie! go on! needs a bit of a bunfight! (offers fizz)

<piles in>

I'm here!

More to the point, where have you been, Hully? Have you been illing?

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 16:40:04

All the interesting people are all on my new site.

I have invited a select few, and sorry Hully, you didn't make it.
<goes back to read thread>

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 16:41:18

Funny I could start one, but they'd smell a rat, they're not that gullible are they? Are they...although, thinking about it...<muses on gullibility ratio of The Po, reckons she has an evens chance of blagging it...>

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 16:41:38

and I'm sulking at not being mentioned

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 16:41:45

Madame just point me in the right direction...

AIBU drinkin fizz in the afternoon...

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 16:45:51

And having RTFT, I would like to add:

Sparkling, will you stop linking to that boardreader site blush


Honey, you have to actually be missing for people to miss you [helpful]

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 16:47:04

Oh, one more thing, Hully (splitting posts carefull). There is an old friend back extending herself all over the fucking place hmm.

Where on earth is sm? This has been going for four hours, she must be asleep.



Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 16:53:50

oh marydoll


I did say there'd be loads wot I forgot to mention

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 16:56:02

I don't mean to be a demanding twat but can you lovely lot ofMNers whom I know (avoids scottishmummy) cheer me up because my dd has just passed her driving test and I am having my long-threatened nervous breakdown at the thought of my daughter growing up and LEAVING ME.

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 16:56:05

I was trying to make you a mumsnet friend, and I couldn't work out what name to use. I can't keep up grin

Cheer up getouef

It will be ok. She will never leave you. She will still be living at home at 35. And she will move her boyfriend into your house and provide you with lots of grandchildren for you to look after.

Now, if you could return the favour in 2 years time, when my dd turns 17 and I become a quivering wreck that will be great.

But in all seriousness, she is obviously growing into a lovely young lady. And she will do you proud.

Someone told me once that our children don't belong to us, we just borrow them for a little while <sobs>

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 17:03:56

Don't make me cry even more tantrums. grin

17 is so, so, so much older than 16 (feels it anyway).

I'm dreading it. Literally dreading it.

I may cry. A lot. I can't imagine her driving.
Then again, I couldn't imagine her first day at school. Or her studying for GCSEs. Or growing up in general.

It's too bloody hard.

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 17:08:11

I missed your post Getorf - think of it this way, your dd will be driving. She will therefore be safer than my dd who is starting to get lifts with new drivers. Which is much more scary, as I don't believe most 17/18 year old boys should be allowed within a hundred miles of a set of car keys <peers at ds1>

And as for her leaving you - isn't that better than never leaving <glares at ds1>

could get nasty over on mine...queenie gone for the, ah, jugular. ahem.

Ds1 will never be able to drive at 17.
I'm sorry but in 3 years, he will in no way shape or form be sensible enough to be in charge of a car.

No, sorry. He can't be allowed.
It would be horrific. 17 year old boys should not be driving.

I don't think he is safe in charge of a bloody bike.

Of course, he wants a motorbike when he is 17.

I'm not even contemplating that one. I am burying my head in the sand.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Tue 26-Mar-13 17:24:37

My dd is 18 and doesn't drive.

She did leave though to go to university but she keeps on coming back so I wouldn't worry to much just yet hmm

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 17:28:01

DD had a motorbike when she was 16. Somehow (stupidly) it wasn't as grown up as a car, and she didn't ride it much when wet and icy anyway so still gave her lifts all over.

I agree I am happier with her driving as opposed to being a passenger in another boy's car. DD is a very sensible driver.

OH GOD though what if she crashes. She's bound to. I did all sorts of nonsense and had near misses when I first passed my test, and I was 30.

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 17:34:16

oh bless, its hard, scary, exciting and strange as they grow, but new and good things will cone and you can move to that London - then you'll never be rid...

Congratulations to Miss GetOeuf - I wish my two (both older) were inspired similarly; they are not even remotely interested in getting behind the wheel, despite offers of cash to learn. hmm

My eldest chooses instead to pedal around the City of London and the East End - at the mercy of rampant buses and taxis. I just can't even think about it, or I could not function. sad

I wrote off my first car 6 days after I passed my test.

I was 27

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 18:00:29

Christ at bikes in London. I can't imagine it.

It's both wonderful and lovely to see them grow up as well as scary and so sad. sad

On the other hand, when they are away from home, you do stop worrying about them a bit - out of sight and out of mind and all that.


She didn't mention me either. It hurts, so very, very much sad

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 18:05:09

Bloody hell at writing a car off.


- knocked a cyclist over (he came out of a side passenger path really fast and didn't stop when he should have, so not my fault entirely, but I was horrified, he got up, picked his bike up, called me a blind bitch and cycled on)
- reversed into a parked car in B&Q car park and made it's alarm go off
- reversed next to a bin in a multi storey and scratched the whole side of XP's car. I then denied all knowledge and told XP some bastard scraped into my car when I was in the shop
- cried on my first lone motorway journey because I thought the gear stick was broken as I kept trying to put it into 5th. I was already in 6th gear
- didn't check my blind spot and nearly caused a transit to crash into me, he called me a blind bitch as well
- ran a red light on a crossing because i thought if nobody was waiting to cross stopping at a red light was optional (I did this many times before a passenger shouted at me)

All within a month of passing my test. blush

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 18:05:38


not it's

Bloody hell.

GetOeuf Tue 26-Mar-13 18:07:46

I think I might start a thread about terrible things you did when you first past your test

almostanotherday Tue 26-Mar-13 18:11:49

I'm here but I'm not sure if anyone actually notices me anyway smile

I'm looking through your window right now almost and noticing you

Its not just me bonnet that's sinister .....

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 18:37:19

soz honey, I just wrote the first few names that came to mind, you and Mary stew etc and etc <comforting>

Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 18:37:48

you and Mary ARE

HotCrossWeasel - is THIS you?

Are you wearing Hot Pink Tena Lady? shock


I'm not proud of that photo. I was very young and needed the money. That bastard badger said they would be tasteful sad

I forgive you, for you knew not wot you did, like.

Cheers Talc. I am now an unexploited weasel.

You are as pure as the driven slush.


TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 18:52:07

Hahaha - guess what has just happened to my DH? So funny. He is in Istanbul on business and he went out to buy a new pair of shoes, and walked back to the hotel in them. On the way back he was walking behind a shoe shine man, and he saw him drop his shoe brush in the street. He picked it up and chased him up the road to give it back, and the man was so grateful that he insisted on shining DH's shoes. DH protested on the basis that he's only owned them for 20 minutes and they really didn't need polishing but the man insisted, so DH thought he'd let him do them just to keep the peace and accept the goodwill gesture, etc.

At the end DH offered him 2 euros as a tip, and the bloke got all shirty and said 'No, the price is 8 euros.' shock Cheeky fecker. DH argued back and said he never wanted the bloody things done in the first place so don't take the piss, and there was nearly a diplomatic incident. grin Eight Euros to be forced to have your brand new shoes polished. hmm

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 18:52:14

You two (Talc and Weasel) shouldn't be allowed on the same thread.

It makes my head hurt.

I mean, I'm sure it all makes sense, somewhere and to someone, but I find I understand you both much better when I'm pissed (and it isn't 7 yet, on a Tuesday night).

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 18:53:28


They charge euros in Istanbul shock. I presumed you could hand them a wheelbarrowful of the local money for shoe-shining, and it would actually cost you 3.7 pence.


The only solution is for you to drink more.

It may cause even more concern to discover Talc and I are Tee Total. Imagine Mumsnet if we had imbibed the alchohol wink

almostanotherday Tue 26-Mar-13 19:00:40

Hotcross--at least wait until my housework is finished before looking through my windows plz.


Hullygully Tue 26-Mar-13 19:14:01

I am strangely jealous of tee totallers, yet could never swell their ranks.

am already cross as have to pick up ds at 9,30 do cant have wine until then

IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 19:15:23

Zombie is here!

<pauses to read thread>

Oh, no one missed her.

<leaves thread sobbing>

<<Grabs Zombie>>

<<runs after zombie brandishing zombies arm>>

Come baaaaaack!

I have to say. I don't like snuggle TeeTotallers. They get right on my tits and make me want to fetch a shot gun.

Smuggy. Bloody autocorrect

I missed you zombie

I've always wanted to be a tee totaller just so I could swan about saying "ooh noo I never drink alcohol all smugly.

It has never worked though....I like a drink a bit too much grin

Many years ago my friend and I used to frequent a very good jazz bar. He and I had the sole ambition of going in looking cool and drinking poncy coffee.

Every damn time we failed and ordered pints, like the students we were.

IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 19:31:11

<< hugs HotCrossWeasel and Tantrums>>


<<everybody loves a zombie hug>>


magimedi Tue 26-Mar-13 19:56:25

* Eight Euros to be forced to have your brand new shoes polished. hmm*

When I was in Istanbul (back in the late 70's) I had to fend of fthe shoe shine boys who wanted to polish my flip-flops!

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 20:16:08

Oh, for fuck's sake Fell you never learn do you?

In your last post, you've managed to include the fact your DH travels abroad on business, he's staying in a hotel (no doubt swanky) he can afford to buy new shoes...and then he mercilessly diddles a poor, hapless shoe-shine peeps who is trying to earn a crust, working in a city that we Europeans have bled dry for centuries.

And, to add insult to clearly find the incident amusing.

Be very afraid [dons flak jackets, slips on fire retardant gauntlets, switches to flame-proof keyboard and shock resistant PC monitor]

True, fell

How dare you laugh at the poor man trying to earn an honest living?
And you with your DH with a job, and new shoes

New shoes FFS.

Don't you know you aren't supposed to buy anything unless it is unavoidable? Did your DH get his shoes from freecycle? Or a charity shop? And if not, why the fuck not?
Some people don't have shoes you know.

I bet you are one of those people who only gets meal from a chicken, not 6 different dinners. And I bet you throw away the bones and buy chicken stock don't you? Don't you? DON'T YOU?

Only gets one meal from a chicken.

The missing word is one grin

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 20:28:02

Furthermore, some people don't have any feet to put into shoes, assuming they were lucky enough to have some shoes in the first place...

Tsk...tsk...tsk Fell. D-, see me after class...

This is true. You are now taking the piss out of poor people, people with no jobs, people who can't afford to travel and people with no feet.

And, how do you know the poor person trying to make a few pennies shining shoes didnt have some sort of invisible disability? You didn't think of that did you?

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 20:51:58

Yes, Tantrum not only is Fell blatantly mocking people who can't afford to stay in hotels and people who can't afford to fly to other places (and thence stay in hotels)...she is blatantly disregarding the very real possibilty that the shoe-shiner may well have had tinnitus, or perhaps astimagtism hmm

Words fail me, to be honest.

It's all wrong LaQueen

It's very upsetting. I may start an appeal for the poor, footless, shoeless, shoe shiner.

If everyone kicks in 50p we could do an online tesco shop for him and send it out there?

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 21:06:43

I'm quite distressed myself, if I'm honest Tantrum ...but, I'm equally uncomfortable about your cavalier suggestion of a Tesco on line shop^ ...there are those who don't have a PC in order to do an on line shop, and even if they did it wouldn't be at that Tower of Food Whoredom that is Tescos...

Ideally, we'd send a pigeon carrier to Lidl, wouldn't we (ahem)

IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 21:08:45

Or to Aldi...

Ah, rookie mistake.

I didn't mean tescos, oh no no no.

Everyone chip in 50p, we will go to lidl and send the shopping out with fells DH on his next swanky business trip.

fell in order to make up for it, I would suggest the next time your DH goes off on a little work jolly, he swaps places with the shoe shiner

The poor shoe shiner can have the swanky hotel. Your DH can go and clean shoes for pennies, just so he can truly understand how terrible it is to laugh at the poor shoeless man grin

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 21:11:29

Yes, whichever is geographically nearer...we don't want to over tire the carrier pigeon.

And, needless to say, the shopping list would be written in Txt spk, so as not to mock those who haven't especially benefitted from an education.

I've never been to Lidl or Aldi.

Is one better than the other in terms of righteousness?

I don't know.

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 21:12:49

[cough] some people don't have a spare 50p [cough]

They had better go and shine some bloody shoes to find the 50p then grin

Or turn the heating off to save money.

This is a poor shoe shiner you know. It's vair important. Vair.

It's very wrong not to help. I am offended.

LaQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 21:15:15

I have a vision of Fell's DH, swaggering down a street in Istanbul, wearing a pin-stripe suit, bowler hat, carrying a briefcase and a rolled up umbrella...deliberately showing off his extra shiney shoes to poor, feetless, shoe shine people, and doing a little taunting tap-dance infront of them...

I bet he shines them himself. Just to save a few euros.

And pretends they are new shoes when really they are 34 layers of shoe polish and glue.

HotCrossFRIGG Tue 26-Mar-13 21:21:33


I'm here,sort of....

it's FriggFRIGG,I'm wearing my Easter disguise

<swishes cape>

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 21:24:42

AIBU to be pissed off at having to pay €8 to get my new shoes cleaned when I didn't want them cleaned at all?

Wow, he'd be flamed.

I suspect we could do a bingo card starting with the word "entitled" and including third world poverty and debt, probably a bit of racism, we could discuss methods of obtaining leather goods in foreign countries, and finally blame global warming on him.

Go on, Fell, start one, I dare you.

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 21:26:20

<waves to Zombie>

<and to Frigg>

<frantically scrolls up to see who has been missed out>

<gives up: swigs the last measley glass of wine left over from Sunday and hiding in the bottom of the fridge >

HazeltheMcWitch Tue 26-Mar-13 21:26:37

shock The spoon thing was all a pretence? I fell for it! I wanted you to get your spoon back.


HotCrossFRIGG Tue 26-Mar-13 21:27:51

Passes Maryz more wine

Friggy darling <<smooch>>

IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 21:38:07




3 facts about me that should have me shunned from Mnet

1. I wear shorts with tights even though I am 34
2. I have tattoos one is in the tramp stamp region
3. Another is a massive one that says England Forever

The Po would have me as a racist BNP Chavvy bastard and flamed to a crisp within 3.6 seconds grin

And yet I am still here <<hard as nails>> wink

<<smooches Zombies>>

<<spits out lip>>

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 21:50:54

Shorts with tights - envy
Tattoos - meh, who cares
England forever shock[horror] - that one's a deal breaker. Sorry.

HotCrossFRIGG Tue 26-Mar-13 21:55:56

<<smooches everyone>>

<shoos everyone into a healing circle >


IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 21:56:50

1. Zombie (at the tender age of 60.11 years) finally has the legs to wear shorts with tights. Tick.

2. Zombie only has one tattoo. It's a boring and very faded rose on her left shoulderblade. envy

3. England is Zombie's home. Tick.

<<picks up lip and smashes it back into place>>

It's got the Rugger Rose on it too Maryz <<awaits epic strop>> grin

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 22:05:37

How old were you when you got that tattoo? I suppose I will have to forgive you if you were young and foolish.

Does your rose say "England forever" on it too Zombie?

Ahem, I believe it may have been in the run up to winning a world up


Is it just me or has everyone lost the ability to type today?

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 22:09:56

Winning a world cup?

Were you alive and being tattooed in 1966?

Or have they won it since?


Rugby you bloody fool!

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 22:11:57


Oops - I've just been taken to task on a soccer thread, so I'm confused.

I forgot you occasionally win sporting events.

almostanotherday Tue 26-Mar-13 22:13:09

I have 5 tattoos, I don't drink and my DC had Pom bears over the weekend only a pound in sainsburys

Do I have to to de register now?

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 22:13:40

right I'm going to start one on parking in AIBU

almostanotherday Tue 26-Mar-13 22:14:02

Parking a 4x4?

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 22:16:52

Will you have soluble babies?

KnottyLocks Tue 26-Mar-13 22:19:53

Bloody hell.... Late again to the party

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 22:21:19

no white van, exclusive estate, tradesmen and nannies! Join at will grin

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 22:24:54

look look I have biters. I will continue

IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 22:29:27

No, Maryz. It was once a lovely red rose with bright green leaves. 36 years later it's just a grey, vaguely rose shaped blob. Zombie thinks about having it refreshed from time to time...

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 22:35:48

Maybe refresh it with something discreet and lovely

Funnys, I am giving you good advice.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 22:36:32

Mary you so are. Don't you feel my pain?

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 22:41:07

We had a man with a van who used to park right outside our old house - and our front door led almost straight onto the road, so it blocked our light. He never parked it outside his house hmm.

But that's far too serious an answer for your thread.

IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 22:45:33

Oh, that's very discreet, Maryz.


im here, i'm always fkin here.. i name change so often that no-one knows me though ::sigh::

I know aaaaall of you though.


Shea butter as pure as possible is wonderful for perking up tattoos

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 22:57:58

it's going quite well over there

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:05:24

You and Hully are going to get banned for trolling you know.

Arsing about is illegal these days.


Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:06:16

Who are you Kansas? You can tell me, I'm very discrete

<gets discreet and discrete into same thread, but still isn't sure whether they are being used correctly>

IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 23:06:35

But, Zombie has a lovely arse. Is she not allowed to show it off?

IamtheZombie Tue 26-Mar-13 23:08:15

Discreet = careful and circumspect

Discrete = separate and distinct


wrong use of discrete there mary! my thread was fun in a modest way. preens demurely.

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:14:53

Aha, so both my discreets should be discreets, not discretes.

I'm pretty good at grammar, mostly, but this one always defeats me.

discreet/discrete and effect/affect (as verbs) always got me in school. So much so that I went to great lengths to avoid using them at all, hence still not knowing the correct version.

I missed your thread Madame <goes to look>

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 26-Mar-13 23:20:06

mine is going the best though, tis the most realistic.

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:22:38

Trouble is, no-one is taking it seriously enough.

There should have been cries of "elitist" "racist" and "first world problem" by now.

So really, it's a bit of a fail.


RandallPinkFloyd Tue 26-Mar-13 23:23:49

Just sneaking on to say the van thread is hilarious!

CatPussInACrownOfThorns Tue 26-Mar-13 23:24:33

Wahey! Can you all stay right here now that I have found you!
I have felt a wee bit like you had ALL gone away recently. Things have got so
bad, that I nearly flounced on Comic Relief night. It was carnage round here!

actually mine is best because it was true!

CatPussInACrownOfThorns Tue 26-Mar-13 23:26:39

Anyone seen Chaos and Stratters? Oh, and Worra? Once they turn up, Im going to have the doors of the thread welded shut so you cant escape! and ScottishMummy cant get in!

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:27:10

When did being true have anything to do with anything on here Madame?

<whispers: let's all leave CatPuss to it and scarper [childish]>

seeker Tue 26-Mar-13 23:27:28

Some mouldies came back on an anthropological mission to point and laugh, and absorbed people into the hive mind.

not all of it. but broad brush strokes...but nowhere near as funny as huls and jardin.

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:28:03

Stratters was here yesterday or the day before.

But she only stayed for a couple of minutes. Chaos has done the Easter Present Thread, and Worra is everywhere here as per.

CatPussInACrownOfThorns Tue 26-Mar-13 23:31:11

<<cries>> Dont be mean to poor old Saggy! sad

CatPussInACrownOfThorns Tue 26-Mar-13 23:33:36

I knew Stratters was back, I was so pleased I almost exploded with Joy! blush

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 23:36:45

I'm here <signs in>

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:39:35


Can we all just stay here now?

I will have wine tomorrow, and I'm willing to share. We are surviving enjoying the Easter holidays here, which means supermarket every morning, empty fridge every evening, and cajoling ds2 to get out of bed by mid-afternoon.

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 23:43:42

I'm pretty comfortable here, I'm tucked up on a sofa with LittleDog, and I have cocoa.

CatPussInACrownOfThorns Tue 26-Mar-13 23:47:19

<<waves @ Sarah>>
If everyone is staying, can someone rig up some kind of RantyTwat/GoadyFucker tripwire?

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:47:21

I have to go to bed.

dh is getting arsey; because he has to be up for work, he wants everyone else to go to bed hmm. Obviously the kids refuse, so I had better, you know, to keep the wage-earner happy, in a wifey-type way?

<hopes the feminists don't see the above>

Night all smile Same time, same place tomorrow.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 26-Mar-13 23:48:33

I need to scroll active for the one ones now don't I.

In my defence I've only just read this thread as I've spent most of my evening engrossed in my finally restored TV!

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 23:53:15

I'm going to have to complain about the Watch button. It's in precisely the wrong place, right next to the topic title. The number of inane threads I'm accidentally watching has hit ridiculous levels.

<songs everyone and stomps off to bed>

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:53:48

How's the snot situation Randall?

Has he drowned in green stuff or is he sleeping again tonight?

Maryz Tue 26-Mar-13 23:54:49


You have fat finger syndrome grin

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 23:59:24

I have fucking stupid kindle syndrome. It doesn't even recognize its own name fgs.

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 27-Mar-13 00:29:32

At the risk of jinxing everything, we seem to have turned a corner.
<<crosses fingers, spins round, counts to 10, touches wood>>

Not a peep from him so far so think we are over the worst. Thank you for asking smile

How's you're DD now stratters?

SarahStratton Wed 27-Mar-13 00:44:52

She's really well now, now thanks Randall. Back to her old self, self and it's so lovely. smile

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 27-Mar-13 00:51:17

That's so nice to hear, it must have seemed like forever at the time.
Really pleased for you smile

TheRealFellatio Wed 27-Mar-13 02:50:33

Good morning all, I have just had an exhausting 10 minutes catching up on this thread from last night - did roffle verily at LaQueen and Tantrums. grin

Hello Stratters, Please don't go away for so long again. <throws arms around waist and presses head to her buzzoom>

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 05:49:32

Hello everyone grin
This is a fab collection of nice folk.

Hully, you are a bit of a pot tutting at the blackness of the kettle. Where the jeff have you been?

I am somewhere right exotic after a month of no heating or hot water so I am showering and bathing A LOT. We have only been here two days and I have spent as much time submerged as some of the fish.

I will have to wait for you all to wake up won't I?
By then I'll be drunk

envy. Paggy. You bastard. It's all snow and damp here. And Randalls guttering collapsed and mucus got everywhere.

KnottyLocks Wed 27-Mar-13 07:30:27

Morning Pagster.

Drunk in exoticland envy

Tis minus 1 here and proper work drags me out.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 07:38:16

I am a wanker and no mistake.

<prat falls>

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 07:41:46

Is it ever going to get warm in the UK? I might still have no heating when I get back.

It's bloody freezing here pag

It's not fair. I may cry. I want to be in exotic land not heading out to work in coat, boots, scarf, gloves.


RandallPinkFloyd Wed 27-Mar-13 08:11:43

Rofl @ Weasel grin

'Tis true though, I am drowning in snow and snot. It's snowing yet again this morning, happy days

Tales of exotic climes are making me very envy. Glad you're having a lovely time though [pag], your boiler tribulations must be unpleasant to say the least. A month is a very long time.

Don't come back till June Pag. By then there's some chance we may see the thermometer creep back over zero.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 08:49:34

June! shock

I want to be in exotic land too. Anyone who is heading there can you stick me in your suitcase. I'm only small <lies>

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 08:58:45

No, it's never going to get warm

It is snowing here. Real white snow shock. We never get snow.

Of course it has had a ridiculous affect on life. Within 5 minutes of it starting, a car had skidded on the hill down the road and the traffic has now been stationary for an hour.

I will have to walk to the shops, as yesterday's full fridge is now empty again.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 08:59:47

Of course I could send one of the kids <ponders> but I'm not sure I could survive the weekend on cider, cigarettes and chocolate (maybe the chocolate).

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 09:01:23

If you make sure they bring wine back as well you'll be fine. Chocolate and wine what more do you need? grin

Spring/summer has been cancelled this year.

This is it. This is as good as it gets.

I have to shopping after work to fill the house with food for the loooong Easter holidays. Which the teenagers will eat in 2 days and spend the rest of the 2 weeks texting me when I am work saying "muuuum. There's nothing to eat"

Yes there is. It just requires more effort than opening a packet of crisps.
cook something FFS

thegreylady Wed 27-Mar-13 09:03:57

Well despite being almost invisible to the naked eye I am here too :-)

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 09:06:38

Yes, Eostre, that would be my biggest worry. They don't value wine at all - cider and vodka would be on their lists hmm.

Did a grey ghost just waft through the thread? <waves>

almostanotherday Wed 27-Mar-13 09:15:12

T&B your Easter holidays sounds like how I think mine are going to go smile

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 09:16:33

Just threaten tell them that if wine does not appear then the cider and vodka will be confiscated/drunk by you/poured down the sink wink That should focus their minds

<nods wisely>

<waves to greylady>

TheRealFellatio Wed 27-Mar-13 09:17:27

Hello Paggy, where are you? It's ok, this a safe place - you can speak freely on this thread without judgement or fear of retribution. It's a PO free zone. unless you are in the Maldives in which case keep schtum

Besides, you don't have a boiler so what else were you supposed to do? Freeze? Be an Unwashed Person? Call a plumber? I think not. An exotic holiday is the most obvious solution.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 09:18:53

I think I'll have to go myself <peers at blizzard>


That means getting dressed, doesn't it? Maybe I should borrow ds2's tiger onesie.

Great isnt it?

My manager asked me if I wanted to book any annual leave for the easter holidays.

No, No i bloddy well dont. I go to work to get away from them grin

magimedi Wed 27-Mar-13 10:17:16

You lot! Wags finger.

Log on this morning & have to read the start of just about every thread in AIBU & use my wisdom & age to judge which are wind ups! You have brightened my day.

Did wonder if Funny had lured Madame's white van man away, though.

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 27-Mar-13 10:19:25

I am envy about being fishlike in exoticland. Its 5 degrees here and I am going on holiday to THE PEAK DISTRICT next week. The fucking Peak District <mutters>

magimedi Wed 27-Mar-13 10:22:52

But I thought Jersey was exoticland!!!


The peak district is not a holiday destination.

It is the inner circle of hell. and it is COLD

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 27-Mar-13 10:32:05

Why on earth would you leave Jersey for the Peak District and call it a holiday confused I'd call it punishment!

It's a balmy 3oC here, the snow is frozen.

I do not like snow.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Wed 27-Mar-13 10:34:45

Oi, the Peak District's beautiful

for a day or so

in nice weather

with copious indoor stops for tea/cake/pub

It is beautiful.

For a few hours, in the sun.

not in the freezing cold. For days at a time

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 10:39:36

It's your penance Funnys.

For living in that tax haven and being a TAX DODGER.

As penance you have to go and spend your easily-earned money in a deprived area of the world, and pay tax on all the alcohol you will need to anaesthetise yourself every night.

Then, after your penance, you can post aibu threads again.

You will need alcohol. For sure.

In fact I wouldn't bother packing clothes or food. I would just load the car with booze. It may help.

It did not help me. My "wonderful" DH thought the Peak District would be a nice holiday 2 years ago. In October. With 2 teenagers, a 7 year old and 2 dogs.

He has never dared to suggest a holiday destination since.

If he even starts a sentence about him I just say "remember the sodding Peak District?"
Then he shuts up.

I wish you luck.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 10:53:57

Tantrums shock.

Surely you aren't suggesting that she should bring booze and food with her? You know, booze and food bought tax free, with her tax free dodgy earnings.

I will never go to the Peak District. I suspect it is like Kerry without the sea.

Yep. If you are going to be a tax dodging millionaire you might as well do it properly.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:07:29


It is me the Cunting one. I see that my NC fooled nobody, though sad


Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:09:15

Oh, no Twatters is here.

Shortly her hater will arrive.

In fact I'm astonished she isn't here yet.

<peers around for hidden scottish one>

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 27-Mar-13 11:09:46

Don't worry about Funnys slumming it in the Peak District. This is the exclusive little cottage she has rented for the week. wink

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:11:25

Oh she can get bent. I could take her any day mainly because she is always plastered and you could KO her by stroking her with a feather

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:14:21

I am in the natural history museum. it is surprisingly dull and the whale is smaller than I remember

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:15:05

who is stratters' hater?

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:16:48

Stratters has no haterz.

It is me with the hater sad

I won't say her name lest I summon her like the Candyman but I willgive you a clue: she writes in mysterious haikus and she smells like Irn Bru.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:17:15

If it kicks off can I hold someone's coat?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:18:51

oh her

nuts as you like

why does she haters you?

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 27-Mar-13 11:18:58

Never mind holding someone's coat, can I wear someone's coat? It's bloody freezing here. I'm sitting right next to the fire, wrapped in a shawl (oh yes!) with the overheating laptop on my lap for some warmth.

I'm tired and have a headache and I have to write something clever (in real life, not here).

Just as well I'm not grumpy.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:19:04

Hully ! Hey my lovely <<kisses with proper tongues>>

The whale is like post boxes when you are a kid then. There used to be one at the end of our street that was huge. A monster post box.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:20:17

hey paggy darling, where are you? rspana? or the B place?

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:20:25

She does hate you Twatkins. What ever did you do?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:21:09

what u got to wrote kind?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:21:37

blanket apple for phone words

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:21:53

Oh, Pag, you are still up <peers at clock and tries to work out where you are>

Have you come in for a rest from the sun?

The whale may have shrunk, Hully, but the fecking museum has expanded. You can walk for miles and bloody miles and still be stuck in the stuffed animal bit.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:21:55


Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:22:02

I can't tell you. Fellatio said I should keep quiet for fear of being PO battered.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:23:08

it's the B place innit? winners old haunt?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:23:27

Yes, why does she hate you? Considering she swears she doesn't remember anyone? 'tis confussing

We could write your writing Knid (anything to avoid trip to shops) - if it's something serious we could have a lot of fun.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:24:07


MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:24:37

<resists urge to button lip on the subject>

Well, she did her usual trick of turning up on a thread where the OP was merely wondering about where a poster might have got to and turning the air sour with "you're all suck arses" "if you care that much PM them" "Another arse-lickers thread" and it rattled my cage and I told her to stop being a twat. Cue being told I am predictable/try-hard yadda yadda...

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:25:06

She can't be Caribbeaning because she would be up after us confused

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:25:49


shes a funny old stick

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:25:58

Was it only that thread? I presumed it was a carry over from another thread, because she was very persistent.

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 27-Mar-13 11:26:11

It's some clever academic writing. I have to pretend I know what I'm on about. sad

Maybe I should slip an AIBU thread in there and see if anybody notices?

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:26:52

ah fuck it. I am here it's lovely. I have a pink nose though and ds2 is snoozing so we are inside....

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 27-Mar-13 11:28:12

Poor you, Pag. That looks awful. And you're missing all this lovely snow and freezing cold wind. Bummer.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:28:15

what's the subject area? I am terribly clever about all sorts except maths things

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 11:28:41

I honestly think she's pissed half the time.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:29:09

you are not there

but if you are I am going to kill you

predictable and try-hard?

Hardly the great crime against humanity is it?

And predictable, thats pot calling the kettle black isnt it?

Well, at least you are interesting enough to have haterz bups

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:29:30

It did seem like a carry on from a previous thingy MT. I assumed I had missed a magnificent barney...
I always do.

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 27-Mar-13 11:31:52

Psychology stuff, Hully. Qualitative, no maths in sight. Maths might be easier.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:31:57

It was this thread

And it did seem to get very personal, very quickly [baffled]

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:33:35

I am never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to "speak" to you again envy

I can do psych, Knid. I just study ds.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:33:36

oo I like psychology, are there lists?

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:34:44

That's a lot of evers

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:35:58

I tried to do psychology once but the tutor made ups do maths on the first dy then never turned up again. I wondered if it was a test.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:36:23

paggy are you there really really?

AnAirOfHope Wed 27-Mar-13 11:36:31

Cba to read 17 pages.

Have you found everyone yet?

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 27-Mar-13 11:36:35

Of course there are lists! It's me. But at the moment there are mostly bullet points and I need to turn it into something more, umm, something. <sigh> I suppose a good starting point would be to get off Mumsnet.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:36:55

"Was it only that thread? I presumed it was a carry over from another thread, because she was very persistent."

I called her pissed about three years ago. Apparently, she doesn't remember posters/what gets posted so I must have made an impression or hit the nail on the head.

Can someone please call a priest? I think that Mary has been possessed by Taylor Swift.

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 27-Mar-13 11:37:28

I think Lord Lucan is still missing, AnAirOfHope.

MardyBra Wed 27-Mar-13 11:39:04

Also cba to read 17 pages.

Did I get a mention on Hully's stealth fav MNer thread?

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:39:25

Really really Hully.

<<cries with happiness >>

We are in two of the houses on stilts on the left.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:40:47

oh paggy, you have killed pur love envy envy

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:41:09

where the hell is it?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:41:45

of course mardy darling

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:41:51
BrainSurgeon Wed 27-Mar-13 11:42:27

I've just collapsed on the sofa, having finished packing and shipping 550kg of stuff.... I fucking hate 'stuff'... <wipes brow>

Nice to see you remembered me Hulz smile

winewinewine All round!

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:42:57

Noooo.don't say that! I wil come home now.
<<puts on snorkel>>

AnAirOfHope Wed 27-Mar-13 11:42:59

Call me if we are doing a stake out. I will bring donuts and hot cross buns grin

We will find you <evil laugh>

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 27-Mar-13 11:44:02

Wow Pag.
You lucky, lucky cow.
Cries with envy

Jins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:44:43

Hi Huls

I'm here though I doubt you mentioned me unless as an et al

BrainSurgeon Wed 27-Mar-13 11:44:59

Ah, I see Pag is in the Maldives <tries to look unimpressed> <fails miserably> envyenvyenvy

MardyBra Wed 27-Mar-13 11:45:20

I've just done a search Hully. Not a single mention.


Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:45:38

<looks at snow>


Has anyone not at some stage accused her of being pissed?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 11:46:05


Mardy, she didn't miss me either.

MardyBra Wed 27-Mar-13 11:46:14

Oops. Ouncing isn't that dramatic, is it?

pag I feel so sorry for you.
You are missing all the cold and ice and snow over here.
How boring it must be, all that sun.

Actually I am so jealous I could cry. But I won't.

I have so much to doooooo. I am supposed to be sorting out all this year end stuff at work.
So far my morning has gone like this.

Get to work. Make coffee. Turn on computer.
Mumsnet/shop on Amazon/look at the lovely place pag is in/feel very jealous.
Make more coffee.
Open email. Ignore all emails cos I can't be bothered with it all
Mumsnet a bit more.
Shout at the bright spark who put the air con on. Really? Really? Just take your sodding cardigan off.
Mumsnet a bit more. Online shop.

I have to do some actual work now, don't I sad

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:47:33

I believe you were given a passing glance fear jins

I do have to say tho it wasn't a popularity contest, only managed to dredge up a few names from the early onset

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:47:52

What are you shipping Brian? Is it legal?

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:48:07

What? Pag is REALLY there?


Why is she there and why am I here? That should be MY life.


Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:48:57

serves you right for checking on me mardy
you were mentioned in code as wad everyone else who cant find their name


Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:49:53

I know bups, lets all hate her let's yell on her to sm

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:50:57

It was a clarion call rather than a popularity contest I think. And look it worked.

I notice Fenton is bak after her ounce.

<ignores tantrums so she can do some actual work>

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 11:52:37

yes yrs clarion

MardyBra Wed 27-Mar-13 11:53:10

No hully. You are not going to trick me into reading your mega thread. I know where I stand.

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 11:53:50

Very envy We've had snow while I was walking Chaoticdog, luckily it hasn't stuck though.

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:53:53

I'm only here cos DS2 chose it. If I had suggested it then there would have been arguments and rancour.
Ds2 sees a picture, points and dh books bloody flights.

I am taking him through all sorts of travel guides ATM. Just for future reference. Not to wangle holidays I want, oh no.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:55:07

Don't get her on this thread, Hulls. I can't take it today.

The Daily Fail say that we are set to freeze until END OF APRIL. I am seriously thinking about maxing out the credit card and booky holiday to somewhere hot and forrin but still does egg 'n' chips.

BrainSurgeon Wed 27-Mar-13 11:56:08

All legal (I think) Pag only because bacon wouldn't last

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 11:57:34

WTF sort of DS2 do you have, Pagz? If I let DS pick a holiday, we'd be in Blackpool with a sandwich bag full of pennies for the slot arcade, with candy floss for dinner every night sad

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 11:58:06

Noooooo. It has to get warmer soon!

If its still cold when I get back I will cry again.

BrainSurgeon Wed 27-Mar-13 11:58:33

Come and see me in Doha Bups. Free accommodation, swimming pool, leisure club and all that. Just nip on a plane! grin

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 12:00:24

<packs suitcase and stuffs straw donkey under arm>

I'm coming, Brain!

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 12:02:25

I have no idea MT. It came right out of no where. We got a brochure delivered, he took it off and then came back insistent for 'house in ver water'.
That was it. DH was a blur of lap top and cries of 'yes, fuck it. Let's go there'.
Next year it will be blackpool and dh will be screwed because DS thinks its his choice now.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 12:02:42

I've just looked at the long-range weather forecast for Dublin.

Bit mistake. Huge.

It might get a tad warmer. And then it's going to get a lot wetter.

We haven't had a summer for years. Literally years. I can't remember the last time it was warm enough to sunbathe in the garden. Possibly 1994.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 12:03:38

I want your DS and DH envy

My DH would laugh me out of the house if I suggested we fly further than Greece sad

BrainSurgeon Wed 27-Mar-13 12:05:20

I do mean it, Bups. I think your DS and mine are similar age aren't they? They'd have a blast!
not sure about the stuffed donkey though

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 12:06:35

Are summers in Ireland the reason my mum used to use baby oil as suntan lotion Maryz?

BrainSurgeon Wed 27-Mar-13 12:06:37

Ok Maryz you can come too grin

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 12:09:08

Mine is 6 in May, Brain!

I'm up for it if Mary is. grin

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 12:11:04

Yes Pag. But false tan has meant that it is no longer necessary to apply baby oil in the hope of getting a slight tinge of off-white on your legs.

Brain, you need to be careful. If this weather keeps up you might have a bit of a houseful. But if I come I won't bring the kids, no way.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 12:11:43

Mumsnet meet-up in Doha.

Wow, that would be one to go to.

BrainSurgeon Wed 27-Mar-13 12:18:46

I'd be very happy to host. There are at least a couple of other MNers already there.
Oh and there is a site here called Doha Mums, sort of like NMMN, perhaps we can pay them a visit grin

Pagwatch Wed 27-Mar-13 12:19:10

It was very odd - baby oil and vinegar I think. Or was that Jack and Jill?

She used to keep trying to coat me in and make me lie in the sun like a skinny basted turkey.

BrainSurgeon Wed 27-Mar-13 12:19:38

Bloody strikeout fail!

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 27-Mar-13 12:28:41

Did she wrap you in newspaper after basting you, Pag?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 12:29:39

Baby oil and lemon juice, probably Pag.

That was the miracle tanning lotion of my childhood anyway.

And then they invented Ambre Solaire oil - which was a bit like putting rather nice smelling olive oil all over. I suspect it did work a little to protect you from the sun, as it would inevitably be covered by a thin layer of stuck sand.

November would be a good time for a pre-Christmas get together Brain.

<tries to imagine dh's face if I said I was off to Doha to meet up with some people I "met" on the internet>

Well that was weird

In some crazy Mnet meets real life. Hullygully has just been fondled by Roger in exchange for a hotdog.

I see.

You wait until I am off doing some actual work and plan a flipping mumsnet holiday without me.

That's fine. Don't worry about me, buried under 3ft of paperwork, eleven million emails and a whole load of incompetent arse work colleagues.

Off you go. Send me a postcard won't you?

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 13:02:07

Very envy of you Pag.

I am having to lug water to the stables every day (In the Peak District Funnys) and dig out the poor mare twice a day.

And my fingers are now gnarled and swollen.

<buys more vodka>
<counts days to end of Lent>

I have been compelled to post in AIBU. It involves spelling, and facebook. I'm going to die aren't I?

LaQueen Wed 27-Mar-13 13:40:50

The Peak District can be lovely, on a sunny afternoon, in March, with sleet and car-high snow drifts....not so much hmm

Perhaps you could off-set your glitzy, tax free Sodom & Gomorrah lifestyle Funny by volunteering to help local Peak District farmers, dig their flocks of sheep out of the freezing drifts...?

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 27-Mar-13 13:44:08

grin ref the PD. I am staying there as tis mid way between the two familes in East Mids and West Yorks and nicer than either of them. I am bloody dreading it, Chatsworth will help soothe the blow though.

btw Hot I think MNHQ are a tad peeved about the fake threads <naps nose>

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 27-Mar-13 13:46:16

Eggs whereabouts are you in the PD?

LaQueen Wed 27-Mar-13 13:49:55

Funny can I recommend The Druid Pub, at Birchover, for some fabby pub grub (and a real'll need it).

Also, there is a naice crafty shop, at Curbar, and its cafe sells phenomenal cakes smile

It's not a fake thread. So ner ner ner.

And people are agreeing with me. So mega NERs


TheVermiciousKnid Wed 27-Mar-13 14:07:20

Pff, of course it's a fake thread. You're a fake weasel therefore it's a fake thread. So there.

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 27-Mar-13 14:07:30

Thank god for that Hot I was worried you'd get your knuckles rapped too sad

Thanks LaQ. We are staying near Ashbourne so will investigate

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 14:28:07

Why, Funnys, did they speak severely to you?


I have never received a rap on the knuckles from Mumsnet Towers, not me, never <lies>

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 27-Mar-13 14:38:44

aye Mary blush Mind you someone did think that my first and genuine thread was also a wind up which means that obv the actual facts of my actual life are totes unbelievable and far fetched

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 14:45:35

I missed your genuine thread sadly.

I hear it was like Guy Fawkes night on it grin.

I would never post here about money. Or about exotic holidays. Or benefits. Or lack of benefits. Or wide-screen tv's. Or goats.

Well, acksherly, I might boast about a holiday if I had one [bitter]

TheRealFellatio Wed 27-Mar-13 14:54:17

Hi Brain - I hate to disillusion you about that other website but if you think it's like a Doha Mumsnet you're in for a disappointment. It's very useful, and er....nice. boring

You can't swear. In fact you can't even joke.

A joint meet-up would end in tears. After the others have been escorted onto a plane home by the police you and I will never be able to hold our heads up in polite Doha society again. We'll have to take up the veil out of shame, and a fear of being recognised.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 15:01:05

Wow pag that looks amazing. I hope you are having a lovely time and your DS likes the reality as much as the pictures in the brochure.

Re suntan lotions of our youth, my gran put liquid paraffin on me. In Kenya. At midday. I am pale. I ended up very burnt down one side with great big water filled blisters and had to go at A&E when we got home (where the doctor gratifyingly shouted at her).

Liquid paraffin? What was she thinking?

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 15:02:50

I am very edge of the Peak District Funnys clinging on by my {gnarled} finger nails.


Chatsworth is lovely and will soothe you a little.

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 15:07:02

In the summer of '76 (gosh it was hot) I was in the Lower Sixth and we spent one lunchtime rubbing chicken skin from someone's lunchbox on our legs as sun lotion confused

I am so envy Pag. That is all I can say.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 15:18:47

I have been told off for starting a joke thread about a spoon, I literally cannot believe it, how pathetic and dull can it get?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 15:20:09

So you don't want us to arrive en masse, Fell?


I remember the summer of '76. We spend 3 glorious weeks in Devon. I had my first drink and my first snog

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 15:21:14

But the threads are still there, Hully and Funnys?

I think they have to say they are cross, just to keep the po's happy. Otherwise they are accused of favouritism and allowing the "regulars" to break the rules.

ffs [mutter]

On what basis did they tell you off, Hully? Since when was larking not allowed? And who from MMHQ did the telling off?

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 15:21:34

Who told you off hulls?

Mintyy got told off the other day for linking to someone's terrible estate agent photos and calling it criminally incompetent. The most boring women in the world said that she was being libellous hmm and reported her.

That spoon thread was obviously a bloody joke

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 15:22:42

I am going to start a new moldies, since when did the rules change to no jokes?

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 15:23:34

it was Rebecca, I am really pissed off

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 27-Mar-13 15:24:23

practically West Yorkshire then Eggs where me 'usband comes from. Bloody windy up there it is

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 15:24:53

why do they want to make it all so bloody dull and mediocre?

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 15:25:00

Oh that is so bone-arsingly ridiculous. I'm having a little froth at the ridiculousness of it.

shock I'm really surprised.

How come, if they see fit to tell you off, that the thread is still there, and no message from MNHQ about intention to delete it?

Did you miss that memo hully?

No joking allowed any more. No fun. No sarcasm. No "lighthearted" threads. No laughter.
It's offensive to the miserable fuckers who seem to be here en masse lately.

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 15:27:49

are we going to have to sign off with hun and kisses as well ? xxx

Sparklingbrook Wed 27-Mar-13 15:27:52

I am fed up that you have to put 'lighthearted' in a thread title. sad

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 15:29:34

shall we have a petition?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 15:30:03

But you can't even put lighthearted Sparkling.

If Hully had put "lighthearted" in the op she would have been attacked by people who though she wasn't taking theft seriously enough. You know, people who have been traumatised by their neighbours taking their spoons/cats/children and don't think that joking about it on a public forum is appropriate.


Sparklingbrook Wed 27-Mar-13 15:30:09

Only if it's lighthearted Hully.

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 15:30:15

but there are to be no more lighthearted threads Sparkling so we won't have to worry about that.

I think we should be wearing black armbands embroidered with 'it's the huns wot won it'

This is ridiculous.

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 15:31:17

Yes let's have a good old petition and some moaning. And if someone has the skill to set up a second home that isn't fakebook or twitcher that would be good.

Sparklingbrook Wed 27-Mar-13 15:31:24

I am still smarting from my Ant and Dec webchat thread, and my Katie Price dressed like a pink furry porn horse thread.

You can't put <lighthearted> in a thread title.

It's like a klaxon to the miserable, joyless people. They take absolute pleasure in derailing anything marked lighthearted with stupidness, judginess, idiocy.

Yes, I will sign the petition.

EggsitPursuedByAChocolateBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 15:31:55

We are West Yorkshire Funnys - they can't just move historical boundaries.

The snow is blowing upwards at the moment.

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 15:32:18

I have started a fred in aibu.

I will be banned. If I am, I'll see you in Doha, the last w/e in November grin

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 15:32:27

I can't start a petition on my phone

Sparklingbrook Wed 27-Mar-13 15:32:45

I would have thought any thread about Katie Price would have been immediately thought of as lighthearted.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 15:32:59

Stalin would never have said that

ginslinger Wed 27-Mar-13 15:33:09

But seriously what pleasure do the joyless get from reporting a thread that is clearly meant to be fun? I don't get it and I'm a pretty tolerant person but I don't get that.

GetOeuf Wed 27-Mar-13 15:53:25

lolol at 'stalin would never have said that'

That is a bit odd that you have been told orf but the thread isn't there.

Why can't MNHQ come on the thread and say oh COME on this is obviously a joke.

Have these tiresome dullards not ever read Private Eye?

Maryz Wed 27-Mar-13 16:27:57

It seems to me that if you are reported, you get a warning.

If you aren't reported the thread ends up in Classics (see here - she didn't kill her cats at all so she was lying.

I'm rapidly becoming a frothing berserker.

Hullygully Wed 27-Mar-13 16:52:42

Please add views on my thread in site stuff

I fank yew

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