to think that giant pandas are rubbish and deserve extinction.

(306 Posts)
TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 15:14:06

they only eat one food that is nutritionally crap and are no good at breedinh.

Admittedly they look cute but as a spieces they are completely rubbish.

Gingerandcocoa Sun 24-Mar-13 15:15:34

hmm

MardyBra Sun 24-Mar-13 15:15:34

grin

HousewifeFromArimathea Sun 24-Mar-13 15:15:45

Haven't you got anything better to do? Poor pandas.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 15:16:00

But they're big and soft and cuddley and they don't eat you.
I love pandas.

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Mar-13 15:16:03

Of course YABU!
By that token, koalas should be endangered too - except they're better at breeding.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 15:16:27

YANBU

lets have more of these instead

PeachActiviaMinge Sun 24-Mar-13 15:16:34

Poor cute adorable Pandas. I don't know maybe if they evolved to learn Kung Fu and eat noodles they could be more useful?

You are right though without us interferring they probably would be extinct right now it does seem like natural selection just wouldn't have them carry on.

PurpleStorm Sun 24-Mar-13 15:16:36

YABU.

midori1999 Sun 24-Mar-13 15:16:40

YABU. I think they are endangered largely due to developing on the land they live on aren't they?

NoelHeadbands Sun 24-Mar-13 15:16:40

Agreed

<gavel>

Aw shit but those baby ones look so cute in the incubators

<ungavel>

shushpenfold Sun 24-Mar-13 15:16:49

......and what's the whole black and white thing about? SO last season.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 15:17:08

I do feel quite bad for thinking it but they are a bit crap.

Poor pandas.

MardyBra Sun 24-Mar-13 15:17:24

Would they be in a better position from an evolutionary perspective if lots of their natural habitat hadn't been destroyed?

CatchTheFox Sun 24-Mar-13 15:17:34

yabu, their meat is delicious

thezebrawearspurple Sun 24-Mar-13 15:17:53

yabvvvu, they're so cute!!!

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 15:18:46

I would love to go to China to one of those panda conservation places, and cuddle baby orphan pandas all day.
It would be my dream job.

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Mar-13 15:18:58
GaryBuseysTeeth Sun 24-Mar-13 15:19:28

Yanbu.

I imagine that they're all depressed like Marvin the Paranoid Android & thinking 'Why do you want me to shag? Just let us die out already'.

With UnChartered on the Red, now there's a species!

MardyBra Sun 24-Mar-13 15:19:31

Knocking of cute animals = flaming on AIBU.

You should have grasped the basics of MN by now Teggie

PurpleStorm Sun 24-Mar-13 15:20:16

Peach - admittedly I'm not an expert on these things, but I thought that the main reason pandas are now endangered is because of human activity?

Partly because humans have been moving into their habitats and destroying their bamboo filled forests, and partly because of humans hunting and killing them. Without any human interference they probably wouldn't be an endangered species at all.

shushpenfold Sun 24-Mar-13 15:21:10

It's a joke!!!!!! Please tell me that people don't think she' being serious?

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 15:21:55

anything that doesn't shag even to keep it's own species alive?

one word = obsolete grin

shushpenfold Sun 24-Mar-13 15:21:56

She's

cozietoesie Sun 24-Mar-13 15:22:03

Sorry OP. Pandas will eat meat and other non-vegetable items if available (eg they find a fresh dead animal lying around.) They just aren't very good at catching them.

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 15:22:11

They are unbelievably cute but they need to get their act together on the breeding front.

They are more than welcome to come and use my house as a love-nest as I've got a huge bamboo plant which I would love to see the back of.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 15:22:22

I want her job Thumbwitch envy

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 15:22:56

mind you, maybe we need to help them with a few genetics wrt that huge fur coat

can't be easy to get jiggy wearing all that

OrangeFireandGoldashes Sun 24-Mar-13 15:23:22

I find it surprisingly hard to tell the difference between real pandas and people in panda costumes. blush In my defence, you can get some VERY convincing panda costumes these days.

Maybe that's the answer. Let the pandas die out if they can't be bothered to shag, and replace them with people on panda suits. Job opportunity, innit.

OrangeFireandGoldashes Sun 24-Mar-13 15:23:42

in panda suits

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Mar-13 15:24:06

I know, LBE - wouldn't it be great? grin

Startail Sun 24-Mar-13 15:24:25

They have evolved themselves into a corner, but they are irresistibly cute.

Also they are DD1s favourite, so while wearing my scientist hat I agree there are probably more worthy ways to spend our conservation budget YABU!

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 15:24:51

Orange

a tip for you.. a panda in sainsbos is unlikely to be real

one on the side of a mountain munching leaves and not being very interested in sex probably will be

saintmerryweather Sun 24-Mar-13 15:25:15

I agree with you op, theyre crap at breeding, theyre too stupid to notice when someone has taken its baby (on a tv programme i saw they took the baby to put it in an incubator and mama panda did nothing) and they only come into season for about 5 minutes every 3 years (slight exaggeration). I dont think theyre particuarly cute either

dawntigga Sun 24-Mar-13 15:26:54

YANBU they are in an evolutionary cul-de-sac but you are unlikely to convince people because they are cute and do little human things.

SavingPanda'sIsACollosalWasteOfMoneyTiggaxx

JaquelineHyde Sun 24-Mar-13 15:27:33

Pandas are endangered because of the destruction of their habitat and poaching.

If we had left them and ther homes alone in the first place then they would be fine.

However, I do agree we should stop breeding them in captivity, it is cruel to breed an animal that has to be kept behind bars for the rest of its life with no chance of ever being released abck into the wild.

We should try and protect the few that are left in the wild but if they die out then so be it.

sarahtigh Sun 24-Mar-13 15:28:06

one of the naturalists on TV regularly actually agrees with OP but I can't remember his name ( think on springwatch)

OrangeFireandGoldashes Sun 24-Mar-13 15:29:09

What about a panda in Waitrose browsing the organic bamboo shoots, UnChartered? Panda identification isn't always black and white, you know.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 15:29:16

There's an awful lot of Pandists on this thread hmm

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Mar-13 15:30:31

<snigger> at OrangeFire grin

PurpleFrog Sun 24-Mar-13 15:30:56

sarahtigh - it is Chris Packham!

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 15:53:35

a real panda in Waitrose should be easy to spot, he'll be the only one NOT checking the air miles angry

grin

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 15:57:30

I have socks made from bamboo. They aee nice and soft.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 15:59:00

don't they splinter and chaffe when you bend your ankle, Taggie

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 16:03:38

Arf.

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 16:06:09

<contemplates going into bamboo sock making industry>

PeachActiviaMinge Sun 24-Mar-13 16:07:44

Purple Indeed you are correct blush but still we do show them panda porn and all sorts in an attempt to get them to breed grin They are really one of those species that would/will eventually be wiped out by natural selection as sad as that is they just aren't viable as a species adorable as they are.

Pandas will also eat meat they're omnivores bamboo is just their main source of food.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 16:09:16

sad sad sad

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 16:09:39
PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Sun 24-Mar-13 16:16:14

If you can only conceive for two/three days each year, you're territorial and have a diet that involves having to eat almost constantly, chances of becoming pregnant are pretty low. They are at a bit of an evolutionary dead end.

But pandas are really quite genetically different from the other bear species, so it makes sense to conserve them over other bear species as they have more unique DNA.

PeachActiviaMinge Sun 24-Mar-13 16:17:49

Poor SadGiantPanda as if life wasn't rough enough with your crap diet and lack of sex now Teggie wants you finished off so she can wear your food but like I said you are just a little bit crap sad

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 16:21:24

The thing with other bears like grizzlies and polars is though they look cuddley they'd have your head off as soon as look at you.
While pandas would probably cuddle you back and want to play.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 16:22:34

can't we mate them up with polar bears, to get some aggression into them?

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 16:22:50

Poor SadCrapGiantPanda

This thread reminds me of my favourite ever Viz Reader's letter in Letterbocks:

'Does anyone know someone who wants to buy some giant panda cubs?

'I have an adult male and female pair that I keep as pets and they're breeding like nobody's business. I've already had to drown several in a bucket since Christmas'

Reg Sausages, Purley

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 16:23:23

Talc grin

PurpleStorm Sun 24-Mar-13 16:23:25

I don't think I'd trust a panda to give me a nice cuddle.

They look big enough to crush me to death without even meaning to.

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 16:23:44

Yes UnChartered, a few blobs of black paint on a polar bear and I reckon we'll fool them. grin

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 16:24:25

i bet Taggie wouldn't want a cuddle off one either, it'd try to have her socks shock

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 16:25:11

ok, polar + grizzly = panda?

and we could breed the fussy out of them too

Yep I agree, survival of the fittest and all that. The amount of money given to helping pandas could be better spent on species that have a chance.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 16:26:27

grin Talc.
I love Viz for the reader's letters alone.
And the top tips.

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 16:26:44

It will be called a Polandra and will eat fish with a side of bamboo shoots.

Thingiebob Sun 24-Mar-13 16:28:21

Oh dear! Crying with laughter at the Viz letter.

Panda bears are a bit of an oddity. Like an evolutionary mistake or something. Maybe we should let them die out naturally?

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 16:28:25

and hunny?

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 16:28:27

sad You have made this panda cry. I hope you are pleased with yourself.

I shall now report this thread. You're so mean. sad

LBE - there was a panda Top Tip too:

'Pretend you're a giant panda by giving yourself two black eyes, eating nothing but bamboo shoots and refusing to have sex with the missus'

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 16:29:43

<plays 'j'taime' to SadGiantPanda>

you in the mood yet?

FannyFifer Sun 24-Mar-13 16:31:44

I went to see them at Edinburgh zoo, they were pretty shit.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 16:32:10

In the mood?! You must be joking. Feck off.

Can I just vote to be nicer to animals that love us? There are animals that adapt well, love us, want to live with us, are very evolutionary successful... Rats; mice; bedbugs; fleas. But no one wants them very sad.

NotSoNervous Sun 24-Mar-13 16:33:55

YABU

piprabbit Sun 24-Mar-13 16:35:07

After reading Douglas Adam's "Last Chance to See", I felt the same about the Kakapo. It's a large, green, flightless, ground-dwelling parrot, with courting rituals that seem designed to actively prevent couples meeting.

However I am very glad to see that, since Douglas wrote, the Kakapo recovery scheme seems to be working well and numbers have been steadily increasing. Long may it continue.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 16:35:15

see, grumpy un-sexty and abusive

and fussy-pants when it comes to eating

i bet if we just left a panda with a plate of cabbage and didn't make anything else until it was finished it would eat it

it works on the weaning threads grin

PeachActiviaMinge Sun 24-Mar-13 16:35:51

Talc SadGiantPanda grin Oh god this thread has really cheered me up I really needed that today. grin Thank you Teggie for being a pandaist.

I was given one of those dodo eggs once.

It was a bit stale but it made a cracking omelette.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 16:37:51

Cabbage?! You must be joking. Feck off.

tethersend Sun 24-Mar-13 16:40:53

YANBU.

The monochrome cunts.

This thread is brilliant. And I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment in the OP. Also DS has a bamboo blanket and it's lovely and snuggly and soft.

People only care about pandas because they look cute and cuddly. If they were spiny or slimy and looked like something from another planet no-one would give a shit.

Talc grin

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 16:48:22

Well yes, TheJoyful, that is the point.
I like cute and cuddly, we need cute and cuddly in this world to make us happy.
Or I'd never be able to go on you Tube and go squeeeee.

oldraver Sun 24-Mar-13 16:57:09

For those that like Reds (much cuter I think) DooDoo

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 16:58:50

There's a lovely red panda at Edinburgh Zoo, but it's always hidden at the top of a tree.
I don't think it ever actually comes down.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 24-Mar-13 17:00:35

I was very struck by a documentary once on giant pandas where they actually did go so far as to get it on together... except the male couldn't remember how and was just sort of draped over her sideways while she lumbered around.

They sleep all thetime and only wake up to shag. And their mating rituals include weeing on each other. Sooo lazy nd uncouth.

oldraver Sun 24-Mar-13 17:10:44

Lady i have been going to Cotswold Wildlife Park for over 25 years and never saw a Panda in the early days they were always hiding.. It was always "oh are we going to get a glimpse of these elusive Pandas

I didnt go for years but started again when I had DS2. The new lot are definitely a lot less shy and spend time on the ground. I wonder if they have had training grin

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 17:22:50

Like the sloths in london xoo. I suspect they are very dead and stufed.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 24-Mar-13 17:27:44

and they are sexist too as they love porn which no doubt offends the lady panda's

They are quite smart in rural areas of china they are very rarely seen but have often come into villages when they are very poorly knowing that they wil
be looked after once they are betther they bugger off dissapear into the bamboo forests never to be seen again the villagers think its a great honour

EduCated Sun 24-Mar-13 17:27:50

If ever a species needed the help of MN, it's the giant panda. Mrs Panda seriously needs to LTB.

Pandas also abuse P&C/Disabled parking spaces and have social skills that are somewhat lacking.

If they wish to improve their popularity, then they need a complete image overhaul. This could include a re-brand - maybe trying some new colour combinations, or a more 'raunchy' persona?

EduCated Sun 24-Mar-13 17:29:05

Btw, Orange, I think I love you grin

Though saying that, there is always a part if me that imagines pandas as having a person hidden inside them blush

PimpMyHippo Sun 24-Mar-13 17:31:36

Aha, I have always said this and people look at me like I'm heartless! Yes, they are really quite a useless species. They seem to be actively trying to die out, so I think it would be unfair to stop them. grin

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 17:34:41

See. Hippos. Now there's a proper aminal.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 24-Mar-13 17:35:45

Perhaps the panda is one of nature's dead ends, like many, many other species over the millennia.

it needs a ridiculous amount of bamboo because it's so low in nutrients and it has serious trouble conceiving. Even if people weren't destroying the habitat, they are two massive problems for the long term survival of a species.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 17:37:27

Feck off, the lot of you.

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 17:44:17

SadGiantPanda - are you feeling hormonal?

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 17:44:55

Hormonal? Feck off.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 17:46:30

Oooh. Maybe SGP is having her 5 minute season.

Get shagging quick and save your speices.

EffieTheDuck Sun 24-Mar-13 17:47:09

There are more pandas in Scotland than Tory MPs! <cheers SadGiantPanda's day>

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 17:47:50

And then we can watch you on cctv for months waiting for a baby like that polar bear (who wasn't pregnant after all)

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 17:47:58

Five minutes of shagging? That long!? You must be joking. Feck off.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 17:49:15

<hugs EffieTheDuck>

Oops, squashed her.

Oh well. Feck off.

I've been saying this for years.

I read somewhere (not sure if it's true) that they're biologically designed to be omnivores but for some reason won't feed properly. Now if that's not an argument for letting the tubby feckers die out like nature intended.

That and the fact that they're so crap at parenting they intentionally let one cub die as they can't be fecked feeding it hmm

Evolutionary dead end which should be allowed to die out as nature intended.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 18:24:11

I just hope no pandas are reading this thread sad
Mumsnet at it's worst.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 18:27:56

I am not pandaist. Some of my close friends are pandas. I just think they are a bit crap.

NoelHeadbands Sun 24-Mar-13 18:28:41

So hang on...is there more than one type of panda?

The giant panda and the non-giant panda?

NoelHeadbands Sun 24-Mar-13 18:30:50

I'm not pandaist but... I think they're rubbish.

Deffo not pandaist though, my cousin is married to a panda.

TeamEdward Sun 24-Mar-13 18:40:42

I saw pandas at the Washington DC zoo. We waited ages and ages for them to come out. It was like a fecking Kit-Kat advert.

The ones I saw at Edinburgh and the source of my expertise weren't giant. My children have bigger stuffed toys. Mind you that's another thread in its own right

They can't be that close to extinction, everyone on this thread is.claiming to be related to one!

5Foot5 Sun 24-Mar-13 18:57:41

they only come into season for about 5 minutes every 3 years (slight exaggeration).

Not that much of an exaggeration. I saw then on the news the other night and it said that the female is only fertile for 36 hours in a year! And I am sure I read somewhere once that the female genitalia is sort of S shaped making it kind of difficulty for the male to do the job properly.

Sure they are cute and all that but with all the things they have going against them I would expect natural selection would have wiped them out by now without human intervention.

hopefloats Sun 24-Mar-13 19:02:15

Thousands of species have become extinct. It is all part of the process of evolution. I also do not give a stuff about pandas, or snow tigers or elephants, come to that. YANBU.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 19:09:47

I quite like elephants and the old matriarchy thing they have going. Also it would be so very useful to have a trunk.

EffieTheDuck Sun 24-Mar-13 19:15:32

The pandas at Edinburgh zoo are only rented. shock

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 19:18:53

Rent A Crap Panda grin arf. Wonder what sort of deposit thry paid. And if they'll need professional cleaning dhen they go back.

simplesusan Sun 24-Mar-13 19:20:58

Leave the pandas alone!
They are much cuter than those shitty dogs that look like rats and fit in handbags.
In fact pandas are cuter than most,if not all dogs so there.
Plus you don't ever see threads about panda shit covering the playing fields do you?

GetOeuf Sun 24-Mar-13 19:22:25

Lol at this thread and 'there are more pandas In Scotland than Tory MPs.

GetOeuf Sun 24-Mar-13 19:26:08

Killer whales can fuck off as well.

I thought they were all friendly and got on with small boys but they turn out to be spiteful murderous oafs.

I suppose the name killer whale should have given the game away.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 19:28:47

arf at killer whales' monikers being a dead giveaway

if we're on the case of supposedly cute animals being shit, can i nominate dolphins please

i fucking hate dolphins, i wouldn't serve one in my cafe even if it offered to pay double

GetOeuf Sun 24-Mar-13 19:31:45

Dolphins are horrible. They pick on each other and have nasty fights, like Grange Hill on sea.

And can we murder all magpies whilst we are at it, if only for that godawful ear splitting katakanakakakakaka noise they make all day. I seriously thought I had a load of escaped kookaburras in the garden last summer.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 19:31:53

'there are more pandas In Scotland than Tory MPs.' <-- This is a very cheery thought. grin Maybe in time there will be more pandas than tories in Scotland.

Simplesusan, you talk sense. The rest of you can feck off.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 19:32:00

Osteriches are a bit shit too. What's the point of a bird who can't fly and who's brain is smaller thsn its eye?

TheRealFellatio Sun 24-Mar-13 19:33:12

YANBU. They are total failures on every level Except cuteness, but what use it that? I have often thought this about pandas and I am glad you brought it up.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 19:34:46

<weeps noisly>

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 19:35:08

Will nobody think of the pandas?

TheRealFellatio Sun 24-Mar-13 19:35:37

What we need is a Room 101 of Rubbish Animals. I vote Hyenas go in as well. they are awful bastards, and ugly too.

theoriginalandbestrookie Sun 24-Mar-13 19:38:26

Awww cute clip thumbwitch, am hoping the Edinburgh ones manage to DTD this year.

PurpleStorm Sun 24-Mar-13 19:38:46

I'm sure I heard somewhere that a single ostrich kick can disembowel or kill a human.

And I think ostrich racing goes on in some countries. Like horse racing, only with ostriches.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 24-Mar-13 19:43:01

I found out the other day that hyenas give birth through a canal that is basically just a clitoris!

OUCH!

now that is a major design flaw if ever I heard of one.

Mother/cub mortality rate is apparently huge.

FFS sadgiantpanda.
Get off MN now and make your move on mrssadgiantpanda.
Or you ain't getting any till 2014, panda porn or no panda porn.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 19:44:27

Hyenas are shit at giving birth. Something like 45% of first time mothers die in labour. i may have dreamed this

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 24-Mar-13 19:45:36

angler fish. I saw a documentary about them. Apparently the male just attaches himself to a female and then she grows over him!

bloody hell.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 19:46:44

I am Mrs (Ms actually!) SadGiantPanda. angry

Making any sort of move is just a bit too much hassle.

Now feck off.

Lueji Sun 24-Mar-13 19:47:51

All specialist species are doomed to extinction.

Long live cockroaches and mice. grin

By the same token, are you prepared for zombie armagedon, OP?

TheRealFellatio Sun 24-Mar-13 19:50:13

And when they give birth to their babies they are about the size of a pea not exaggerating much ok a bit so who are they to complain? Giving birth must be like doing a fart. they don't know they are born, those panda women. And then the babies so stupidly small that the mothers accidentally roll on them and kill them because they put them down for a minute and can't remember where, and then suffle around and crush them to death which is pretty irresponsible when it took them nineteen years to conceive. Useless bastards.

Now give me a nice orang utan on the other hand.....they are proper gorgeous. They always make me want to cry and give them a hug because they look so sad.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Mar-13 19:50:18

Sloths for room 101.
They are so booooring and sloooow, and thick and not cute and I bet they wouldn't go down a slide looking comical.
Cuteness points are very high on my agenda, what's the point otherwise?

Sorry Mssadgiantpanda for the gender mistake.
Better get cracking on the reproduction though, before Dave has you in Asda on work experience.
It can be tricky working a till with paws, so I hear.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 19:53:29

and sloths stink, badly

it's a wonder really, they don't move fast enough to break into a sweat confused

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 19:54:29

Pah, you are all goady fuckers.

GetOeuf Sun 24-Mar-13 19:56:17

Boy cats are crap shags as well. Apparently their willies have barbs on them so hurt girl cats enormously.

Bastard fucker cats <scowls at two male cats on sofa>

All girl cats should be lesbians who have artificial insemination and male cats can wank themselves with bared claws AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT

GetOeuf Sun 24-Mar-13 19:58:21

Pandas are really schtoooopid though. That video of the thick Jeremy Kyle mum looking panda chewing idly on some bamboo (looking like a Croydon facelift mum smoking a lambert and butler) who jumps a mile when her baby panda sneezes demonstrates the fact. Silly cah.

GetOeuf Sun 24-Mar-13 20:00:06

And pig willies look like corkscrews don't they?

Mind you I don't know if that is a terrible idea or a genius one.

You can telli haven't had sex in a long time if I aM starting to think corkscrew shaped pig dicks might be a welcome idea.

simplesusan Sun 24-Mar-13 20:01:30

I'd be careful slagging off pandas. Have you seen their claws?

Purplestorm-are you sure it is actual ostrich racing or are you confusing it with that twatty comedian who used to race about on a toy ostrich pretending to ride it. Can't think of his name but that was all he did. Seem to think it was around the same time as Orvil the nappy wearing duck. Oh the quality of comedy in those days.

auforfoulkesake Sun 24-Mar-13 20:03:23

just uncork the wine before the shag will you, pig

auforfoulkesake Sun 24-Mar-13 20:03:29

just uncork the wine before the shag will you, pig

Lueji Sun 24-Mar-13 20:05:35

On the other hand, pandas have opposable "thumbs" which are not real fingers because they have grown from a bone in their hands, so that they can manipulate bamboo.
That should give them some extra points on the worth to be saved front, right?

Oh, and red pandas are not pandas (bears). They are sone sort of racoon. Very cute, though.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 24-Mar-13 20:08:23

I did the Adopt A Panda thing once for DS.

Who was just 9 at the time.

6 months later we had a letter saying that his panda was probably dead. hmm

Pandas are the Cocklodgers of the evolutionary world.

Everyone runs round keeping them in a nice house while they sat about watching porn on the flat screen and doing FUCK ALL.

RealFellatio I can give you an anecdote about an Orangutan, that I can guarentee will make you call me a bastard.

TheRealFellatio Sun 24-Mar-13 20:10:20

arf at Getorf. grin

Sloths are cute.

TheRealFellatio Sun 24-Mar-13 20:13:21

I don't want to know if it all upset me. grin

Chimps are bastards as well. Everyone thinks they are cute but they are not. and when I went to the zoo I saw two big chimps fighting over a little chimp and pulling him around by the arms like he was a Christmas cracker the poor little thing. sad And another big chimp was shitting into his own hands and then pulling it all apart. Nice.

TheRealFellatio Sun 24-Mar-13 20:14:22

probably dead? confused How does that work then? grin

Well it will, here it goes......

I've held and snuggled a baby Orangutan grin they smell lovely, like the perfect mix of new baby and tiny puppy smell.

NoelHeadbands Sun 24-Mar-13 20:17:08

Twice now I've been to zoos and seen chimps wanking at me.

I don't know if they all do this, or whether its just me who drives the ape world wild with desire

NoelHeadbands Sun 24-Mar-13 20:18:39

I do have chimp tits if I'm being honest sad

You can't tell with a bra on though

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 24-Mar-13 20:20:18

It was a named panda in China and she hadn't been seen for a while, so WWF sent a letter saying she was probably dead "but please keep giving your money for all the other pandas".

DS was not impressed!

NoelHeadbands Sun 24-Mar-13 20:22:04

I can't believe they couldn't just lie and say she was in the rudest of health- who would ever know??

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 20:24:19

This has got to go into classics grin grin

I am loving Room 101 for rubbish animals.

yy to dolphins going in. They are slimey fuckers that think they just smirk at you and you will feed them fish.

Also - any monkeys with bare arses.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 24-Mar-13 20:24:31

I know!

Not "by the way, your panda's dead"

FarleyD Sun 24-Mar-13 20:24:40

Think this panda could do with being made extinct:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkJgkerBLf4

Those red pandas are nice.

superstarheartbreaker Sun 24-Mar-13 20:28:26

YABU... Humanity is the only species stupid and arrogant enough to accelerate it's own extinction.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 20:29:15

dolphins have to go in, they bully porpoises

teenage male dolphins are particularly nasty

mind thought, teenage camels are pretty nasty too - saw a documentary once about australian camels, they were horrible to a lady camel sad

Loshad Sun 24-Mar-13 20:31:01

loving this, my sixth formers think i am very cruel when i say the panda deserves it's own extinction. grin

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 20:31:28

Poor dead rubbish panda.

Chimps are far too related to humans to be nice. All that wanking and shut dibbling. Orsngs are nice. I think I'll be one in my next life. But only if the Nestle fuckers have stopped hacking down the Borneo forests for palmoil.

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 20:31:52

If Mumsnet did The Living Planet.

Can you imagine? grin

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 20:36:36

Can we extend Room 101 to insects?

Dung beetles. What is the point? Their purpose in life is to push poo balls around? Seriously?

I mean, come on mother nature, what were you thinking?

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 20:37:30

and wasps

i don't care what they do, proper cunts they are

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 20:39:05

Wasps go in without question.

They don't even get a trial.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:39:15

I can't believe you're all talking about an endangered species like this. How mean.

I'm going to go to Netmums instead. I bet they'll appreciate me and will be nicer to me. Bastards.

RubyGates Sun 24-Mar-13 20:39:46

Icky sticky Panda Love.
In Russian because I can't find it in English.

Poor, poor Homer Simpson
vimeo.com/22907966

OP YANBU

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 20:40:06

don't go to NMs

they'll stuff you, paint you pink and have you as mascot grin

I bet somebody was saying the exact thing about the Dodo bird prior to it actually becoming extinct.

It may not be any more mean than a sad prophecy.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:40:51

sad

The Bounty forum?

Mumsnet does living planet

Attenborough whispery voice " now here comes Mssadgiantpanda after her daily struggle to find food"

Taggie comes into shot, takes out Uzi and guns Mssadgiantpanda down to the sound of "another one bites the dust"

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:42:45

sad

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:44:03

I don't think I could cope with the Bounty forum. Pandas are terribly pedantic. Actually, that's where the word pedantic comes from, it was originally pandantic. <very true fact>

Shut up, you're dead, remember grin

TheRealFellatio Sun 24-Mar-13 20:45:24

Oh that's nice Hotrcross I thought you were going to tell me something sad or horrible. I am jealous though.

I think we should all watch this it's the best thing ever.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 20:45:56

maybe you could live in pedants corner then?

RubyGates Sun 24-Mar-13 20:45:58
PurpleStorm Sun 24-Mar-13 20:46:04

I've found a youtube video of ostrich racing

So I'm not confusing it with comedians riding stuffed animals grin

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:46:18

I am not dead! angry

saintmerryweather Sun 24-Mar-13 20:46:26

I love this thread especially killer whales 'getting on with small boys'. They were on an attenborough documentary hunting a minke whale for miles biting chunks out of it before they finally killed it. had to stop watching in the end sad bastard whales

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:46:44

How ridiculous to think that a dead panda would be posting on Mumsnet.

TheRealFellatio Sun 24-Mar-13 20:46:51

Ducks have to go in. They gang rape poor lady ducks. sad

PurpleStorm Sun 24-Mar-13 20:47:39

SadGiantPanda is obviously not dead. Just endangered.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:48:11

Pedants' Corner is a possibility. As long as they are nice in there.

RubyGates Sun 24-Mar-13 20:48:21

SadGiantPanda, are you a Zombie Panda now?

<eyes OFRS>

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:49:07

I am not a zombie. I am scared of zombies. sad

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 20:49:51

RIP SadGiantPanda

A moment of respectful silence please.............

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 20:50:56

<<Taggie eats shoots and leaves>>

FarleyD Sun 24-Mar-13 20:51:12

They sleep all thetime and only wake up to shag.

This bit sounds pretty sensible to me.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 20:51:35

is it dead?

Panda are you?

Tbf, I think SadPanda is the only Mnetter who has been told

Off you fuck

Not out of exasperation, but or her and her species own good

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 20:51:45

Or eats, shoots and leaves even.

Bang.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:52:22

I am not dead. Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. angry

But you have all made me very sad. sad

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 20:53:09

don't be a sad panda

i might have to watch that south park clip again grin

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 20:53:45

Sad. Very, very sad. sad

Lueji Sun 24-Mar-13 20:54:26

If you are bitten by a zombie panda, do you become a panda?

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 20:55:27

What would make you happy SadGiantPanda?

Apart from not dying, obviously.

UnChartered Sun 24-Mar-13 20:56:32

are people insinuating that SadPanda isn't all she seems

is this one that Orange was on about earlier blush

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 20:59:46

You could try not being quite so crap. Eat a sandwich or not squash your babies or summut.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 21:00:42

It would make me very happy if people would be nice to me and my kind. That would be lovely. Very unlikely though, you mean bastards. sad

UnChartered - I hope you are not suggesting that I am a <gasp> person in a panda costume!? shock

FarleyD Sun 24-Mar-13 21:00:55

My dh has ridden an ostrich, so he says.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 21:01:45

Pah. Unlike you, I can at least eat some types of socks.

Maat Sun 24-Mar-13 21:06:17

Do you have a love interest Sad Panda?

Have you been on Plenty of Pandas or PandaMatch.com?

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 21:09:47

That sound like an awful lot of effort.

SadGiantPanda Sun 24-Mar-13 21:10:07

I don't think I've got the energy.

Are you perhaps, depressed, SGP?
If so, I hear exercise is supposed to be beneficial. Join a jungle gym?

PandasInUniform?

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Sun 24-Mar-13 21:21:56

WeBuyAnyPanda.com?

Lueji Sun 24-Mar-13 21:23:01

I hear bamboo leafs are rich in vitamins. Maybe you could try them?

Lueji Sun 24-Mar-13 21:24:43

SGP, I have the ideal mate for you: Giant Panda

EffieTheDuck Sun 24-Mar-13 21:36:10

Polar bears are just bleached pandas.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 24-Mar-13 22:31:41

I don't know why you're all pandering to this.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 24-Mar-13 23:16:59

Ah now Boys, that's just creepy grin

I KNOW grin

<hi five>

SadGiantPanda Mon 25-Mar-13 00:00:53

How did you get that photo of me? shock

Have I mentioned yet that I am very sad about this thread? sad

oldraver Mon 25-Mar-13 00:04:32

Fellatio at least the chimps were just pulling apart the shit. There was a primate at my local zoo that was 'helping' shit out of his bum (having a good delve in there) then eating it. Took me years to be able to recount that without heaving

TheRealFellatio Mon 25-Mar-13 03:23:59

Actually, now you come to mention it old I think that's exactly what they were doing!

Thumbwitch Mon 25-Mar-13 04:29:31

<weljel of the hotcrossweasel snuggling orang baby!>

Orcas are 'orrible. Bastards.
So are chimps. Years ago I watched an Attenborough film about them and they eat small monkeys, just pull them apart. Bastards.
Ducks are gang-rapey bastards too, with corkscrew dicks. Bastards.
Pigs have two dicks, also corkscrewy. Bastards.
Hyenas are just bastards.

Guneapigs are nice though. And so are pandas. Red pandas are related to weasels though.

sassytheFIRST Mon 25-Mar-13 05:25:21

Omg thanks to this thread I have learned that giant pandas are in fact Bears and NOT related to red pandas, even though I was told the opposite all thro my childhood, EVEN THOUGH that was totally counter intuitive.

Stupid black and white, under sexed, bamboo eating not-feckers.hmm

sassytheFIRST Mon 25-Mar-13 05:30:21

And talking of crap animals, I give you giraffes. Good at nothing except being big and fluttering their lashes.

Although, tbf, they'd be great in an orange apron working at b&q - they could reach all the stuff on the top shelves ever so easily.

ComposHat Mon 25-Mar-13 06:05:28

YABU

I feel a great affinity with the Pandas, I have black circles under my eyes and haven't had sex in ages either.

shock Eddie we aren't!

TheRealFellatio Mon 25-Mar-13 09:05:25

Oh no, giraffes are beeootiful. I love 'em. all gangly and pretty and docile and sweet, with lovely patterns.

UnChartered Mon 25-Mar-13 09:07:16

sassy giraffes are a bit shit aren't they? what do they do?

apart from wrap their incredibly dextrous tongues around branches and eat.

serious question, do they make a noise at all?

TheFallenNinja Mon 25-Mar-13 09:09:24

They're black, they're white, they're Asian. What's not to like smile

These lads have got it sorted.

sassytheFIRST Mon 25-Mar-13 09:44:10

Back jn the day when I read Dear Zoo on a thrice daily basis, the giraffe made a munching slurping noise with mucho tongue wiggling.

UnChartered Mon 25-Mar-13 09:46:21

i still have to read that sodding book - too tall indeed, it was too boring grin

sassytheFIRST Mon 25-Mar-13 09:49:21

Rofl.

They sent me a giraffe.

He was too pointless and too much of an evolutionary abberation.

I sent home back.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 25-Mar-13 09:51:11

Right, and here come all the giraffeists hmm.
How is this thread still here?

UnChartered Mon 25-Mar-13 09:51:36

my favourite is the camel - because you can open the doors of the crate one at a time and feign shock horror at being sent a camel's bottom grin

It's a good point though LBE

What are giraffes actually for?

PurpleStorm Mon 25-Mar-13 10:02:28

Pruning the tops of trees?

TheRealFellatio Mon 25-Mar-13 10:09:27

Yeah, bloody giraffes, coming over here and taking all our jobs. How can my brother, who is a cow, get a decent place in a zoo, with prospects, when all the giraffes keep pricing him out of the market? They come over here from Africa and all work for less and share their enclosures to keep costs down, while he has to slave away all day on NMW in a muddy field beside the M25. It's a fucking disgrace.

Bastards.

Poledra Mon 25-Mar-13 10:19:36

"What are giraffes actually for?"

Ah, the age-old problem which has taxed the minds of giraffe philosophers for centuries. What are we for, why are we here, why do we get sore throats - you'd think evolution would have made us immune to them?

If a giraffe falls in the forest, does anyone hear it fall?

KoalaFace Mon 25-Mar-13 10:27:42

ThumbWitch The cheek! angry

I hope Pandas don't go extinct they are lovely but I sort of see what you mean.

If it is down to us destroying their habitat and hunting them though then it is up to us to encourage their breeding and survival.

mmmuffins Mon 25-Mar-13 10:56:42

The species that are opposite of the easily-affected panda (ie those that can adapt to new environments quickly) we also think are rubbish and want to kill. Mice, rats, rabbits, foxes, pigeons (and whatever the equivalent are in China).

The animals can't bloody win. YABU.

sassytheFIRST Mon 25-Mar-13 11:01:09

I'm not giraffist! Many of my best friends are giraffes. My brother married a giraffe, FGS!grin

SadGiantPanda Mon 25-Mar-13 11:18:28

If a giraffe falls in the forest, does anyone hear it fall?

I hear the bastard giraffes when they fall. angry I do love pushing them over though. Gives mea real buzz.

peeriebear Mon 25-Mar-13 11:18:44

Johnny Cash was nearly disembowelled by an ostrich that had lain in wait for him. It was the recovery that made him addicted to morphine. Bandy legged fuckers.
Pandas look like partially filled monochrome beanbags.

SadGiantPanda Mon 25-Mar-13 11:43:49

Gives mea real buzz.

Some bastard stole the space between me and a. I bet it was a giraffe.

SadGiantPanda Mon 25-Mar-13 11:45:17

Poor Johnny Cash. sad

Did you know that he was really a panda in a human suit?

EduCated Mon 25-Mar-13 11:46:42

Oi, Giraffes are ace. Have you ever seen them fight? They just wang their necks at each other.

TheRealFellatio Mon 25-Mar-13 11:48:31

Lain in wait for him? Why? shock Did he owe him money? Did they have a row in the pub? Did he shag his bird? We need to know.

'did he shag his bird?' hahahahahahahaaaa <arfs at self>

I think the answer here is clear, people.
Cross breeding programme.
Maybe, individually, they are a bit ineffective. But together, think of the possibilities! The bamboo that Piraffe will be able to reach!

SadGiantPanda Mon 25-Mar-13 11:57:24

grin

Viviennemary Mon 25-Mar-13 12:14:37

In a way YANBU. Because if nature had her way they'd be extinct by now. And a lot of those breeding programmes aren't really for the pandas good it's to bring money to zoos and suchlike. So I'm a bit on the fence with this one. I have taken this seriously.

Thumbwitch Mon 25-Mar-13 12:56:18

I got chased by an emu once in a park in Australia - it was a bit scary!
I was told by a park keeper that the same emu had taken an earring out of an Indian lady's earlobe a few days previously, and it was a diamond worth about $10k, so the keepers all had to follow the bloody emu around for days after to see if it poo'd it out! grin She didn't know if it had been found yet or not...

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 25-Mar-13 13:52:19

When I was a child (back in the 60's) an elephant nicked my sister's purse out of her hand.
My grandpa had to get the keeper to get it back.

Cookethenook Mon 25-Mar-13 13:55:20

I'm sorry if this has already been said, but i can't read through 11 whole pages of panda talk!

Someone, i can't remember who, describes pandas as an 'evolutionary cul-de-sac' i think it sums them up perfectly!

They are rubbish, but quite adorable... and look weirdly like humans dressed as pandas i always think (odd thing to say, i know!).

peeriebear Mon 25-Mar-13 14:09:09

I think JC had looked at the ostrich's pint funny.
(Cash, not Christ)

EduCated Mon 25-Mar-13 14:18:21

Worryingly, cookthenook, the human-in-panda-costume has already been established. Are we all being duped? Are those pandas that won't do the dirty actually a couple of teenagers from Scarborough 'avin a laff?!

ChunkyEasterChick Mon 25-Mar-13 14:23:20

I swear I was going to post the exact same q in AIBU last wk.

Pandas really don't have a lot going for them do they? They choose to eat a food that is the nutritional equivalent of a riveta packet despite physically being able to consume alternatives. They forget how to shag, so on the rare occassion both male & female have the horn, they don't actually know how to do it. And they are loners. So they don't actually want to go near another panda given a choice.

Admittedly humans haven't helped by reducing their territory, so that they are a bit "cramped" & get horny even less frequently, & taking away their food.

But let's face it. It wouldn't take much...

YANBU smile

ChunkyEasterChick Mon 25-Mar-13 14:25:56

And I agree with the whole "is-it-a-panda-or-a-man-in-a-costume" thing.

I clearly haven't had an original thought in my life.

<wonders if I'm the mental/intellectual equivalent of a panda...>

StuntNun Mon 25-Mar-13 14:29:18

Pandas are bears, they're omnivores. What's with this holier-than-thou we only eat bamboo shoots attitude? I'm so glad to see this thread, I thought I was the only one that hated giant pandas.

EduCated Mon 25-Mar-13 14:30:59

Pandas really are the lentil weavers of the animal world.

SadGiantPanda Mon 25-Mar-13 14:33:27

hmm I might start eating Easter chicks soon. And nuns. Maybe even cateds, whatever they are.

sad

SadGiantPanda Mon 25-Mar-13 14:34:24

Have you tried weaving lentils? It's bloody hard. Especially with big paws.

sad

UnChartered Mon 25-Mar-13 14:35:57

i've just seen Panda on another thread, she can't use a keyboard effectively, never mind weave lentils.

Panda is that why you don't have sex? if you get upduffed you don't HAVE to knit baby panda clothes <melts at thought of baby panda booties>

you can buy them - in shops

UnChartered Mon 25-Mar-13 14:36:17

grin
x-post grin

SadGiantPanda Mon 25-Mar-13 14:37:33

I can use a keyboard properly! It just takes a long time. That's why I don't have time for much else. Like that procreation thing you can't spell.

Knitting baby panda clothes? You must be joking. They can bloody well knit their own.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Mon 25-Mar-13 21:23:39

Did you miss the giraffes on Africa? One fights all dirty, sort of staggers off to one side, the other's all smug thinking he's won when WHAM! the first one hits him right in the solar plexus with his horns.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Mon 25-Mar-13 21:29:02

Here you go. Gentile they are not!

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 25-Mar-13 21:37:35

SadGiantPanda.
I'm about to start the Giant Panda and Giraffes support group.
Sign up here.
sloths and slimy uncute things not included thank you very much

RubyGates Mon 25-Mar-13 21:53:23

Gentile they are not
Jewish Giraffes Now? Oy Vey!

digerd Mon 25-Mar-13 22:01:40

All baby creatures are cute, except for that disgusting grub of the LILY eating red beatle< yuck>.

BiteTheTopsOffIcedGems Mon 25-Mar-13 22:09:33

I always liked pandas. Now I had read all this I hate them. I am glad they are dying a slow and painful death.

ThePathanKhansAmnesiac Mon 25-Mar-13 22:12:09

Camels go in 101, rude spitey humpy things.
Wasps we need.
Crows, bully boys, they go in.

Pandas, would you wanna shag with a few billion perves watching? Thought not.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Mon 25-Mar-13 22:12:18

Oops, fat fingers there... I was aiming for gentle.

Although I now have a picture in my head of a giraffe wearing a kippah with two little holes cut out for its horns to poke through grin

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 25-Mar-13 22:18:17

BiteTheTops shock
Strikes Bite off the Panda support Group immediately.

Maat Mon 25-Mar-13 22:18:44

Why do we need wasps? Why?

They ruin summer. Get high on sugar in the autumn and have some kind of wasp rave where they go around stinging people for fun.

They are nothing but evil body snatchers.

<dons protective clothing and slings wasps back into Room 101>

PurpleStorm Mon 25-Mar-13 22:23:07

I also don't know why we need wasps.

Bees, yes, we'd be stuffed without bees - but wasps? What are they good for?

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 25-Mar-13 22:27:08

Oh Maat, and midges too.
They fuck up every highland summer
And they don't come under the LBE Useless But Cute And Loveable category.
Room 101 you fuckers.

Thumbwitch Mon 25-Mar-13 23:19:33

Wasps are needed to control the grain pests - they eat the grubs of these pests. But when all the grubs are gone, they should just DIE, not fecking hang around waiting for dessert! In the late spring, early summer, wasps are after protein foods, especially stinky ones - so take a piece of high smoked salmon or similar on a picnic and place it about 20 feet away from you - the wasps will go to that. LATE Summer they want dessert, so go for sweet fruity stuff instead. THIS is when they should just be dead.

"What's with this holier-than-thou we only eat bamboo shoots attitude?" - perhaps pandas have all gone zen Buddhist?

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 00:04:34

Oi, leave off the Crow family. Crows are lovely.

Pandas, on the other hand, are a big pile of evolutionary shite. Utterly pointless non-fuckers.

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 00:07:10

Do you always take rancid fish on a picnic, Thumby? Do you not find it somewhat limiting, friendwise? And what about impromptu picnics, do you keep a bit of rotting fish in your handbag, just in case?

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 26-Mar-13 00:17:03

[disappointed look sad] at Stratters.
What's with the panda hate, eh, eh?
I thought you'd be a supporter.
Panda or Crow???
Set it up Honey.
We all know who the winner is.
<Raises fists in a rather limp wristed manner>

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 00:21:32

Raven. By many, many miles. Pandas are such dull, useless creatures if we're going to be honest. And look past those winsome eye patches, and you'll see a pair of tiny malevolently piggy eyes. They are not the eyes of a naice Ark-worthy animal.

Just ask yourself What Would Moses Do. Well he wouldn't bother with bloody pandas, would he.

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 00:23:52

Fuck. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCKETTY FUCK.

Obviously I meant Noah. No wonder I'm never in the bloody Round Up any more.

<bangs head repeatedly against the wall>

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 26-Mar-13 00:32:02

If you go upthread you'll see baby pandas going down slides squeeee
Um, not seen ravens doing that.
Don't get me wrong, ravens have their place but theirs no competition.

Moses was quite fond of pandas, actually, Stratters.

There were quite a few of them on the Exodus flight out of Egypt thing - but when they were transiting the Red Sea, the pandas dawdled and were swept away when the waters couldn't be arsed waiting for them.

That is why there are no pandas in that region. That's evolution for you.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 26-Mar-13 00:34:57

grin Sarah, Noah or Moses.
They're both biblical, innit.
and they'd both go for pandas.

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 00:35:51

And Noah would have rolled his eyes, pulled up the gangplank thingy, and set sail without the sodding useless pandas.

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 00:38:39

No, Noah would have needed a whole other Ark purely to carry enough bamboo for 40 days and 40 nights.

Or was that St Swithun's Day?

Sodom and Gomorrah?

That film with Kim Basinger?

Anyway. No pandas. Deadweight.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 26-Mar-13 00:40:22

What is it with this Panda hate on Mn??
I'm flouncing,

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 00:42:02

Don't you dare. <evils>

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 26-Mar-13 00:52:18

I dunno, Stratters, this panda hate is getting me down.
How can anyone not like a fluffy cuddly gentle black and white bear who just needs to be loved? grin

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 00:55:17

And therein lies the problem. They need to be loved, but they just can't be fecking arsed with it.

ripsishere Tue 26-Mar-13 01:03:27

Pandas are pretty shit really. I remember taking DD to Chiang Mai zoo. The pandas had been delivered a couple of weeks before and there was high hopes that they would mate. Since they had to show pandaporn to the male it was unlikely.
DD created much more interest than that lazy pair of non fuckers.
Olive Ridley turtle men are another species that should be wiped out. So many of them try to mate with one female, quite a lot end up drowning.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 26-Mar-13 01:16:45

Can i just say it's lovely to have you back Sarah, in spite of your anti panda stance.grin
And I shall continue to support cuddly useless pandas.
One day they'll rule the world . or maybe not .

Thumbwitch Tue 26-Mar-13 03:51:48

'Ullo Stratters! No, I don't take rancid smoked salmon out with me but whenever we do have a picnic of the non-impromptu variety, smoked salmon is almost guaranteed to be a part of it or DS1 Wants To Know Why Not. Tis his favourite, on rice crackers with Boursin. Expensive tastes, my son. grin

Even if it's not high, a bit of the smoked fish chucked several feet away, and keeping the fish you're eating covered, is a good plan - keeps the stripy feckers mostly away. smile

Ravens rock but Pandas slide! grin

TheRealFellatio Tue 26-Mar-13 05:30:53

Stratters!!!!! grin Hello darling girl! So nice to have you back. Have you finished sanding now? Do you have blisters and callouses and builder's bottom? We have all missed you very, very much. It's been like watching paint dry or pulling teeth round here lately. I almost nearly considered leaving, and doing something more productive with my time. hmm

MsTakenidentity Tue 26-Mar-13 05:59:12

Giant Pandas are rubbish; Broken Hearts are for arseholes. - Thanks OP for allowing me to get it all out > phew wink

MsTakenidentity Tue 26-Mar-13 06:14:47
SadGiantPanda Tue 26-Mar-13 07:18:51

LBE is right, one day we will rule the world if we could be fecking arsed.

Lueji Tue 26-Mar-13 07:24:04

And, yet, you can really move

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 09:04:48

I think SGP, that if you are nursing ambitions to rule the world, world tour better get a move on before it's too late.

SadGiantPanda Tue 26-Mar-13 10:44:44

You know, I actualy already rule the world. The problem is that so far no bastard has noticed. sad

Which makes me even more sad. ;(

sad sad sad

SadGiantPanda Tue 26-Mar-13 11:09:12

I also know that it's 'actually' and not 'actualy'. I'm just too sad to type properly. sad

ErrorError Tue 26-Mar-13 13:40:33

Oh dear OP... have you been watching this! grin

SarahStratton Tue 26-Mar-13 15:30:54

That should have said 'you'd better get a move on'. Although a world tour always helps.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Tue 26-Mar-13 15:34:33

Arf.

Lueji Tue 26-Mar-13 19:42:26

Panda's don't rock, you say?
Los Pandas
Panda

Relatives of yours SGP?

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