to have such a strong reaction to this advert for cancer?

(176 Posts)
FarleyD Sat 23-Mar-13 13:53:55

I'm talking about the advert where people throw insults around, eg there's a little girl saying "you make me sick", someone else saying "cancer you twat", someone saying "we're going to get you" etc.

I don't watch much tv, and adverts barely register on my radar. I'm suprised at the strength of my reaction to this ad. I don't know what it is about it but it almost makes me feel queasy. Maybe it's the fact that the ad suggests the power is in our hands to "fight" this pernicious disease. It just doesn't sit right with me.

Does anyone else feel this way? Can anyone explain why I feel like this?! And aibu?

wonderingsoul Sat 23-Mar-13 14:00:18

iv seen that add, and i also felt a bit funny about it. i couldnt work out why as it didnt offend me at all.
maybe its becasue the other are "depressing" and that one is really load and #"positive" im not sure ,

Ratata Sat 23-Mar-13 14:00:52

I personally like the advert, a new take on adverts for cancer. Made me feel that yes cancer is indeed a twat and needs to be torn a new one. Had more of an affect than the ones that pull on the heart strings. Seems a more modern way of approaching it. Probably not everyone's cup of tea but interesting to see them with another take on it.

500internalerror Sat 23-Mar-13 14:01:53

My gut reaction was how desperate they must be to take this approach - how little support such campaigns must get now.

ImperialBlether Sat 23-Mar-13 14:06:20

I thought the advert where people fell over with the shock with really moving.

Ratata Sat 23-Mar-13 14:06:41

Also more of a "don't get sad, get angry", do something about it rather than be sad about it. As in, donate some money or run the races etc. I think it makes people sit up and take notice. There are so many adverts which leave you feeling depressed (animals, poor kids etc) and you don't feel like doing much as it makes you feel it's going to be impossible to fix all that shit. I prefer positive adverts. I started donating to the RSPCA monthly after their advert with sponsoring a safe place for cats and dogs. Positivity, and getting all grrr about things, works better than shocking footage of cruelty and sad stories I think.

aldiwhore Sat 23-Mar-13 14:09:53

I prefer it to the heartstring pulling ones, but I did find myself shouting at the telly that it often doesn't matter how hard you fucking fight it can still kill you... I know IABU, but I think my discomfort stems from the perceived implication that if you die you didn't fight hard enough?

Which is NOT what the advert was about at all... and I agree with the actual sentiment of the ad, that we should be saying 'up yours' to cancer and fighting it together, and getting angry at it is possibily more hopeful than feeling despair and defeat. That even if it kills you, LIVE to the full whilst you can. A collective battle against cancer, rather than a personal fight you possibily couldn't hope to win.

So Farley YABU to have that uncomfortable reaction to it that you can't quite put your finger on.

FarleyD Sat 23-Mar-13 14:09:57

I haven't seen that one Imperial. And, yes, 500, maybe that's it, the desperation.

FarleyD Sat 23-Mar-13 14:14:13

I don't like the tugging heartstring ones either, maybe I'm just "advert adverse" (have I invented a new term?). I do think it's better to give a message that tries to inspire, rather than depress, but to me there's something unrealistic, almost naive, about this ad?

beatlegirl Sat 23-Mar-13 14:17:07

I really don't think the 'fight' part of it is about individuals fighting their own illnesses. Its about supporting cancer research in their battle to find a cure. And I really support that idea.

My Grandfather died a horrible death, which no amount of fighting would have prevented. If there's a battle going on that will help future generations to avoid that, then let them drum up support.

FarleyD Sat 23-Mar-13 14:23:33

Oh I absolutely believe we need to raise money for research and support, I'm not questioning that at all. And, if this advert helps, then brilliant. I just don't understand my reaction to it. I suppose this is more of a "does anyone else think ...?" than a "aibu?"

Thymeout Sat 23-Mar-13 14:23:35

Agree with you, FarleyD. YANBU.
I don't like the 'fight'/'battle' terminology. As if people who die of cancer just weren't trying hard enough to live. And Danny Baker was right when he said he didn't do any fighting. His body was the battlefield. It was the doctors who were putting in the effort.
There's no point in being angry. I think it is a counter-productive emotion. I give money because I think there's a realistic chance of research leading to a cure or more effective treatment. But perhaps it works for some people. They must have done some market research on it. Just not for me.

Hate it.

AmberLeaf Sat 23-Mar-13 14:43:43

Anyone got a link? Ive not seen it as I don't really watch live tv.

lisad123everybodydancenow Sat 23-Mar-13 14:51:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FarleyD Sat 23-Mar-13 14:54:16
IRCL Sat 23-Mar-13 14:56:40

I found the one where they all fell really moving.

Made me cry actually.

I think the new one is different and i like how they've done a different take on it.

Asheth Sat 23-Mar-13 14:59:48

I don't like it. It almost feels like it belittles cancer. That if you insult it a bit it might go away. So I think I prefer the adverts that show how serious physically and emotionally cancer is. But of course I'm glad for every penny they can raise to research treatments.

firesidechat Sat 23-Mar-13 16:35:38

Ok, my husband has just had a re-occurrence of his cancer and that advert makes me feel a bit sick.

I can see why it would have seemed like a good, hard hitting, ballsy advert to the makers. But it's actually a load of rubbish.

If it was only as easy as having an aggressive rant and cancer would be running scared. I hate the whole "fighting cancer" concept. It happens, you get on with it the best you can and rely largely on the doctors and their cures. Fighting cancer suggests that if you don't get cured, then you obviously didn't fight hard enough. Think we have enough to worry about without that added pressure!.

Thought the falling down one (Macmillan nurse) was much more accurate.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 16:39:21

I hate that ad. It's not a fight or a battle, it's a shit disease, a vile, awful disease that can strike anyone at any stage in life regardless of their lifestyle.

And you can get as sad or angry as you want if you or your loved one has it it will not make a blind bit of difference in many cases.

HATE this 'so brave' bullshit. Or people holding placards, 'I beat cancer,' 'me - 1, cancer - 0'.

You never see, 'I beat my cardiovascular disease,' or 'Me- Transplant Recipient, Donor - dead'.

Feel like posting a photo of my child's grave in response.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 16:40:07

Exactly, fireside, or that relapses or secondary cancers don't happen.

cleofatra Sat 23-Mar-13 16:42:24

I hate it too sad

"cancer, we are coming to get you"

This is a stupid statement, especially to people who's loved ones have died from it.

LtEveDallas Sat 23-Mar-13 16:48:12

The falling down one made me cry the first time I saw it - and I'm not generally emotional in that way.

I don't like the 'fight' ones. Simply because if someone then dies, they've either lost, or they didn't fight hard enough. I think that's a bad message for children - because it opens up "But why didn't they fight harder" "Didn't they love me enough to fight?"

Cancer is an out and out bastard, but shouting at it isn't going to cure you.

MrsKeithRichards Sat 23-Mar-13 16:59:38

I agree with the whole winning thing. It doesn't sit right with me. As if it's in our power to beat it and those that don't survive have lost.

ShellyBoobs Sat 23-Mar-13 17:12:03

Not sure what I think, to be honest.

I can see its worth in trying to encourage people to contribute to the fight against cancer - the fight, that is, being fought in laboratories and surgical training, etc.

By the way, the lady in the advert says, "cancer, you prat", rather than twat.

ShellyBoobs Sat 23-Mar-13 17:16:37

The falling down one made me cry the first time I saw it - and I'm not generally emotional in that way.

I had that reaction, too.

FarleyD Sat 23-Mar-13 17:17:19

Sorry to those of you who might have been upset by this thread, and who have suffered losses through cancer. We have serious illness in our house also (dh) but not cancer.

Asheth - "belittles cancer" - it does doesn't it (the ad)? I think that's maybe what my reaction stems from, the idea that it's all so easy to deal with, we'll just shout a bit.

You never see, 'I beat my cardiovascular disease,' or 'Me- Transplant Recipient, Donor - dead'. Expat - so so true.

cleofatra Sat 23-Mar-13 17:18:53

I also hate the concept of cancer being "personalised". It isnt an enemy or an entity. Its a whole lot of different and diverse types of malignancies. It has no feelings or thought. I dont know why but the ad makes me kind of angry.

Yanbu. I find the 'cancer's a cunt' thing cringey and the battle analogies insulting.
The falling down advert was so powerful, much more 'real' to me.

bangwhizz Sat 23-Mar-13 17:24:38

They use the word 'twat' in an ad shock

Creameggkr Sat 23-Mar-13 17:29:00

This is why I hate the race for life tbh. All those placards saying shit. I know it's unreasonable but I still hate it.
I had cancer and I didn't die because I was one of the lucky ones.
That's it really, no fight involved, in fact I was petrified and bloody furious.

badguider Sat 23-Mar-13 17:29:50

I don't think it's about fighting on an individual level - many of the people are referring to people lost through cancer not those still suffering/fighting or those who have the all-clear. It's about fighting the disease on a population scale through research.
I have lost loved ones to cancer and I have a good friend who survived testicular cancer. I find the advert kind of noticable as in it didn't just wash over me, the anger in it didn't make me comfortable but I did recognise it a bit from moments during my friend's treatment and also my family members' deaths.

BegoniaBampot Sat 23-Mar-13 17:31:19

I don't like it, not sure why but it just seems false and full of bluster but with no substance - don't believe the people actually believe it either.

The falling on is very powerful indeed.

timidviper Sat 23-Mar-13 17:36:03

I also am really uncomfortable with this advert but found the falling down one very emotive. My Dad died from a rare form of tumour and yet still find cancer referred to as a cunt or a twat offensive and, yes my poor Dad was brave and strong and tried his best, the suggestion that this is a battle he could have won is abhorrent

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:38:00

It is an enemy and it needs to be beaten. The recent research that Metformin can stave it off and prevent it from beinf terminal is a massive breakthrough and more money needs to go into this type of research. I don't think the ad suggests that those who die from it are weak. In fact some of the people in it say they've lost people to cancer. We do need to beat it and together is the best way. The ad tries to unite people by evoking the anger, rage and gried felt by those suffering/who know people suffering.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 17:41:16

It's a disease, Shelly, with an absolute myriad of forms. Treating it is just that, not beating it. It's a failure of your own immune system most of the time. So do you beat yourself up? Because it's from you, it is you.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 17:43:05

'The ad tries to unite people by evoking the anger, rage and gried felt by those suffering/who know people suffering.'

Yet everyone on here whose loved one has or has had this does not feel anger, rage of grief from this ad. It makes them sick and turns them off.

And my child did not lose. She died. Ads like this revolt me.

mrsbungle Sat 23-Mar-13 17:44:21

I also do not like the advert. My mum died a horrible death from cancer. Cancer is a shocking disease and, as others have said, no amount of "fighting" or "battling" would have saved her. I hate that terminology.

Maybe the ad does mean "fighting" cancer in terms of raising money and awareness but I don't think the advert comes over in this way well enough if that is what it means. It makes me really uncomfortable.

I did find the advert where the people fall down to be hard hitting in a good way.

cleofatra Sat 23-Mar-13 17:45:24

The ad doesnt evoke the same anger as I have as someone who has a loved one suffering. It makes me feel angry as it appears to me a little ignorant and insulting.

rumbelina Sat 23-Mar-13 17:46:07

I have also struggled with the 'fighting' and 'beating' cancer. Like the people who die from it didn't quite work hard enough. Like they could have done something.

I also, probably irrationally, get irritated when people go on and on about cancer sufferers who ran marathons etc. They are brave and determined, well of course they are but they are an enormous minority and...well I'm just sensitive I suppose as everyone I know who died of cancer was fucked from the start and never stood a chance.

So, yanbu. Calling cancer a twat does fuck all.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:46:51

Sorry for the loss of your child. Nothing anyone says will make that better and no ad in the world will help. It is a disease and in my opinion an enemy. But that's just my opinion. I lost my Nan to cancer and my best friend. I like the advert and find it comforting as I am angry with cancer and terrified of me or anyone else I love getting it.

rumbelina Sat 23-Mar-13 17:47:26

The falling down one made me weep buckets though.

cleofatra Sat 23-Mar-13 17:48:35

I'd rather the message about research was along the tlines of "cancer, lets get it so no-one else will suffer" rather than "we're coming to get you".
I dont care that "we are coming to get" twatting cancer. Its too late for us.
I do, however, care that reserach will help prevent anyone else going through it. But not for a very long time.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:49:15

Me too rumbelina. We are all likely to be affected by this insidious disease at some point. Getting cross with one another over an advert isn't going to help anyone.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:50:25

Cleofatra Did you read the breakthrough research on Type 2 Diabetes drug Metformin??

cleofatra Sat 23-Mar-13 17:51:06

Its not quite so breakthrough, there have been papers about metformin for a while now.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:52:14

Danny Baker put it beautifully. He said he didn't beat cancer, but that his body was the battlefield on which medicine fought this disease.

mrsjay Sat 23-Mar-13 17:55:27

I feel the same about this advert or any 'together we will beat it' ads I dont like the fight against cancer or winning against cancer, I have no personal expereince but these kids of phrases makes me really uncomfortable

mrsjay Sat 23-Mar-13 17:55:46


Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:57:49

Well, there are 35 odd posters on here who are uncomfortable with the advert..I wonder how many people will be inspired by that ad to run Race For Life and raise some money for something we will all benefit from?We'll see.

cleofatra Sat 23-Mar-13 18:03:31

The ad would not coax me to run the race for life, no.

I really didn't like this advert either. It just said all the wrong things to me, and of all things it made me think of John Wayne's personalising cancer as 'the Big C'. (Fuxsake, he couldn't even say the word!) The whole concept of cancer as an entity that can be talked to/dissed/threatened - it just jars.

I also dislike the fight/battle language. You don't fight a disease/condition, you treat it. I do think it leaves the implication that those who didn't 'beat' cancer didn't 'fight' hard enough hovering in the air, and I really, really don't like that. A little bit blame-the-victim methinks.

But I did gel with the 'falling' advert. I thought that got across the message of support needed very well. I found it quite moving.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:05:35

But it's certainly done its job and raised awareness/discussion..

twentythirteen Sat 23-Mar-13 18:06:03

Oh not at all, it impacts on me strongly but in a supportive way. It makes me cry every time, and it rings bells about how I feel towards my miscarriages.

louisianablue2000 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:09:27

I agree that the 'fighting cancer' language when talking about an individual suffering from the disease is unhelpful. But that's not what I got from this advert, it's about the fact that if we spend money on scientific research then fewer people die. It's not as effective as the CRC childhood leukaemia advert though which makes me cry (I'm a scientist who works in the pharmaceutical industry and that advert encapsulates the reasons why I do my job).

Macmillan provide support for people with cancer and so they are going to focus on what it feels like. They provide a wonderful service in helping people to prepare for death and live their life as fully as possible for the time they have left. Their adverts are always going to have a different focus to the research adverts.

Fairylea Sat 23-Mar-13 18:13:01

Hate it.. I hate the whole idea of someone fighting cancer. It's not a fight you can control. You can't kick it harder to make itgo away.

I also on another note think it's quite rude for daytime viewing.. I don't want to hear "up yours" during the day even if it is aimed at cancer. It's unnecessary.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:13:05

louisianablue2000 I totally agree. I think one of the best research ads is where they say it's cancer's turn to be afraid and the cell grows smaller. I'm fed up of feeling scared. Cancer is the one thing that preys on my mind and it's something we have little control over. I'd like us to have some control.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:13:06

CRUK benefits everyone? Funny that, if you look at their stats and where most of their money goes. hmm

It's done it's job to make sure I never donate a penny to them, tbh.

firesidechat Sat 23-Mar-13 18:14:34

It is an enemy and it needs to be beaten. The recent research that Metformin can stave it off and prevent it from beinf terminal is a massive breakthrough and more money needs to go into this type of research. I don't think the ad suggests that those who die from it are weak. In fact some of the people in it say they've lost people to cancer. We do need to beat it and together is the best way. The ad tries to unite people by evoking the anger, rage and gried felt by those suffering/who know people suffering.

Shelly32 - I do understand that the advert isn't just about people "fighting" cancer, but not sure if it a helpful view of cancer at all It is a hard hitting advert, but can't help feeling that there are more subtle ways of promoting charity giving. Can't stand the emortional blackmail of some adverts either. Thought the falling down one was pretty much spot on.

Anger and rage are a bit pointless where cancer is concerned - a whole lot of shellshock, sadness and just getting through the next treatment is more like it. We do still have a lot of fun and happiness though, so not as depressing as it sounds.

"I'm fed up of feeling scared."
WHy would you be scared? confused

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:16:32

Expat Where does the money go? How else can you help research if not through CRUK? It's like saying you won't donate to any charity as a large percentage goes to admin staff and running costs.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:16:41

'I think one of the best research ads is where they say it's cancer's turn to be afraid and the cell grows smaller. I'm fed up of feeling scared.'

It is yourself. It is not an entity or an extra-terrestrial. If you are that fed up of feeling scared, of a disease which, other than lifestyle changes which can hopefully discrease the chances of developing some forms of cancer, you can't prevent, you need to get some professional help.

'It's cancer's turn to be afraid'. What a completely bizarre thing to say! It doesn't have a brain.

tazzle22 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:18:28

Eaxh person certainly seems to perceive th emessage differently... I see it is asking people to run to raise money to help fund research to help figh a disease that affects so many of us. I have seen other diseases / conditions referred to in this way .... as in "beating it" too.

I hear a lot of individuals say about "fighting" cancer and "losing" or "winning" on an individual basis but dont hear that from the advert.

Totally agree thats its not really helpful ever to personalise it in that way.... its does not matter how "brave" someone is or how hard they "fight"...... in the long run its not what makes the difference between life and death. No one that dies of cancer "fails".

I just hope that medical research speeds up progress in finding more ways to treat this disease ............ and if this advert helps by getting more people to donate / run then no matter if individuals like it or not it will have done its job, just like the other one which may have appealed or turned off different people ?

"But it's certainly done its job and raised awareness"

I'd say the majority of us on this thread are quite aware enough.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:19:57

Where youleftit Ever since my Gran died of cancer, and ever since I had my girls, I've had a bit of an obsession. Every ache and pain and I'm terrified I've got something serious and terrified I won't see my girls grow up. I know I'm wasting my life and need to get over it but the worry won't go. It's something I know I need to stop but.. I just want a cure for everyone, as we all do.

Nancy66 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:21:03

I don't like the ads either - but there's a lot about cancer awareness that makes me uneasy.

i can't stand the Moonwalk for example. Hordes of women walking the streets in their bras....

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:21:21

'Where does the money go? How else can you help research if not through CRUK? It's like saying you won't donate to any charity as a large percentage goes to admin staff and running costs.'

You honestly think CRUK is the only cancer research charity out there? hmm

And that's not at all like saying don't donate to any charity as a large percentage goes to admin staff and running costs. Do you assume all people are so ignorant?

They donate far too little to childhood cancers (such as neuroblastoma, Ewing's sarcoma and rhabdomyosarcoma) and brain tumour research for me to donate to them, on top of these ads.

They claim it's because these cancers are 'rare'. It's only rare when it doesn't happen to you.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:24:20

Expat I get what you are saying and it's not fair. I don't have much experience of childhood cancers and just assumed they spread the wealth equally. Clearly not!

firesidechat Sat 23-Mar-13 18:26:40

I think that's the thing about cancer; it's not nice, but it's just one of the many things that can kill us.

Someone asked my husband if he would fight cancer to the end and I think he meant would he continue having treatments to prolong life. This is slightly jumping ahead of things because we are no where near that sort of scenario. Husband said that we are all going to die of something, which is of course perfectly true.

Swearing at a disease is a bit of a rubbish concept for us.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:26:48

They are entitled to do what they wish with monies they raise. I prefer to give to other charities revolving around blood cancer, as my child died from pneumonia as a complication of treatment/failed stem cell transplant, for acute myeloid leukaemia. Her consultant, one of the best in the world in that area of paediatrics, loses about 40% of all children she treats with AML to disease and another 10% to its treatment.

Shelly, there isn't going to be a cure for everyone. Not in our lifetime. Not ever. But there can be an end to your terror. Maybe you should talk to your GP about it, and see if you can be referred for counselling? Because that really sounds an unpleasant way to live, and it can't be good for you or your girls.
((un-mumsnetty hug))

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:28:25

'Husband said that we are all going to die of something, which is of course perfectly true.'

True. And sometimes there are no more treatment options at present, or they confer such poor quality of life-prolonging that many opt not to take them. That doesn't make them not 'fighters' or 'brave', it makes them people who made a decision they found best for them and their family together with their doctors.

EchoBitch Sat 23-Mar-13 18:28:51

I don't like that ad either.

DP has cancer and my Mum died of it last year.

You can't always survive any disease.

I hate all that 'fighting' cancer stuff.

You take the tablets/hormones and do the chemo/radio therapy and hope for the bloody best.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:30:12

There certainly won't be, Where, this is true. Particularly because we have a long way to go with understanding our genome better. Also, because cancer is oneself, so much more research needs to be done on a very genetic level, and of course, so many permutations of each kind of cancer genetically and in its response(s) to treatment.

EchoBitch Sat 23-Mar-13 18:31:12

And be truly grateful that the treatment is still free of charge.

Thank Godness for the NHS.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:31:24

They can , obviously do what they want with the money but I'm surprised they don't give more to childhood diseases! My best friend died of leukaemia but I was only 9 so am not sure of exactly what type. Those mortality percentages are high.

EchoBitch Sat 23-Mar-13 18:32:33

I did mean goodness.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:36:07

whereyouleftit Thank you. X I've spoken to my GP. She told me I'm perfectly healthy and need to get over the death of my Nan. I don't think that was particularly helpful. I'd never let my girls know I was scared of dying (from something I don't have as far as I know) but my poor husband has to put up with me waking at 1am on occasions and worrying. I just need to get my head around the fact that I need to 100% enjoy life while I am healthy.

firesidechat Sat 23-Mar-13 18:37:27

Been thinking some more about this ad and can maybe see why some of us have a problem with it.

There is a bit of a culture within some areas of cancer care that, if you battle hard enough, you can defeat it through sheer willpower. It's a terrible idea that puts alot of pressure on sick people.

It might not be what the makers of the ad intended but it is instinctive to feel uneasy.

Agreed expat. In my mind's eye I guess I always see cancer as my cells that just won't die when they're supposed to, clogging up the works like piles of useless junk in the home of a hoarder. But; so many different places to damage, so many different things that can set the ball rolling, so many different symptoms, so many different prognoses. I just can't see the word 'cancer' and think of it as one thing. Maybe helps that my mother's on her third variation ...

My sympathies for the loss of your daughter.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:37:48

Shelly, you need to see another GP and get a referral to CAMHS. Your fears are unhealthy and affecting your quality of life and family. sad

"It might not be what the makers of the ad intended"
I'm sure they didn't intend it. But shouldn't they have picked up on how it would play to the general public, where it would be interpreted in this way by a sizable number of people? Aren't the ad-makers professionals?

Punkatheart Sat 23-Mar-13 18:40:38

I am a cancer patient. I hate hate hate the language of 'battle' and 'fight' that is used.

Cancer is bad luck. It can be helped with medicine, good luck and treatment.

For people who 'lose' - how do you think it makes them feel? Some people simply cannot fight when they are suffering/dying of illness. They are weak, sad, want to privately mourn and enjoy their lives as best they can. Some refuse treatment - a deeply personal statement. Then some idiot says 'You should fight it - not give in.'

There should be more empathy and a realisation that many of us, who are having a shitty time, hate this kind of language.

ColinFirthsGirth Sat 23-Mar-13 18:41:28

I really disliked this advert from the first time I saw it. I feel that we should be encouraging hope which is a far more positive emotion than anger. I also dislike the angry wording in it and I don't think it ultimatley helps anyone.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:42:34

'In my mind's eye I guess I always see cancer as my cells that just won't die when they're supposed to, clogging up the works like piles of useless junk in the home of a hoarder. '

That's essentially what they are. They don't grow the way they are supposed to. They grow all wrong, with all sorts of genetic mutations within the cells, and sabotage the organ or function to your detriment. With DD1, the form of cancer she had caused the bone marrow to produce immature granulocytes, all fucked up, to the point where her bone marrow was not working properly.

EggyFucker Sat 23-Mar-13 18:42:39

Oh my goodness, so glad to see this thread

DH and I hate this advert

I think it trivialises cancer as something to "kick ass" against

I hate the empty and meaningless aggression of the comments

I hate the way it presumes throwing money at cancer will chase it away

If it really were just a matter of kicking cancer's ass, wouldn't it be so simple ?

HolyMackerel Sat 23-Mar-13 18:43:07

I also really dislike this advert, and am in remission from cancer myself at the moment after 18 months of treatment. It just reminds me that cancer is big business these days, that the disease I was unlucky enough to get, and which has destroyed aspects of my life, pays many salaries/media budgets.

I used to work for CRUK years back and saw where a lot of their money went, and as a result would never donate to them.

I hate all the battling/fighting talk too, it's bullshit. And I agree that too little goes to 'rare' cancers.

Macmillan on the other hand have been a tower of strength and have really helped me through some dark times, I have time for them as they actually help and advise those with cancer, and their families/carers.

EchoBitch Sat 23-Mar-13 18:46:16

You just don't get to kick cancers ass.

As if cancer were an entity.

It is just bad luck.

You get treatment and hope for the best.

I hate that ad and so does DP.

Panzee Sat 23-Mar-13 18:47:13

I can see why they have done it.
But then it's "Cancer, I'm coming to get you".

You want to get cancer? Eh?
And then that's all I can think about. It's a bit facetious but that's what I think.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:47:57

'Then some idiot says 'You should fight it - not give in.'

Exactly! A friends of mine was shocked when her dear friend, in her late 50s, elected not to treat. But she has a form of cancer that is not curable, it has mets, and the treatment will severely affect the quality of the time she has left. After frank discussions with her consultant and other doctors (she is single), she made the decision for herself.

There's nothing to 'fight'.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:48:40

Expat I'm sure you're just trying to be kind, but CAHMS?? Let's not go there. My children are happy, smart, well- adjusted and loved more than anything. It's just me probably that needs to do exactly what the first GP said. It's just easier said than done. I don't think I'm ever going to let my feelings out on MN again! Over the top totally!

EchoBitch Sat 23-Mar-13 18:49:21

It is shitty to die from anything when you are young.

But all that 'battle' talk and 'fighting' talk....

Not for me/us.

Greydog Sat 23-Mar-13 18:52:11

It's a hateful advert, and I agree it made me feel queasy when I saw it. But, I do wonder how much is really spent on research. AIDs research seems to have made huge strides in a relatively short time. I saw a quote on something that said Pharmacetical companies do not create cures, they create customers, and that makes me wonder.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:54:23

Shelly, you're waking in the middle of the night with worry over a disease you do not have and may never get and you're saying it's OTT to get mental health assistance with that? Okay.

all this i beat cancer stuff is so so insensitive.

it is not a battle, you dont have the power

it takes you or you get very very fucking lucky

people liek to convince themselves this sort of theing wont happen to them, in a well if i got cancer i'll beat it
deluding themselves they have control

well they dont

so stop it now, and think of others lost to cancer

EchoBitch Sat 23-Mar-13 18:56:58

Fear of dying of cancer isn't irrational.

Cancer can and does kill many people.

Most elderly people only get diagnosed with cancer in A&E after an accident when it's too late to do anything.

But many also get cured,that is what we have to remember.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:57:20

Doesn't pretty much everyone who's lost someone to cancer worry about getting it? I think I also have guilt about having smoked for 10 yrs (7 years smoke free now). I can't be the only one.

Shelly32 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:58:10

And i don't think it's something that needs a mental health therapist, esp if I've been to my doc and she wasn't particularly bothered!

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:58:17

No, it isn't irrational, Echo, but if you're waking in the night from it and it's not even a reality for you yet, it's affecting your life and there's help for that.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:59:04

'Doesn't pretty much everyone who's lost someone to cancer worry about getting it?'

No. I'm sure some do, but some don't.

Spero Sat 23-Mar-13 18:59:29

I agree with all those so are just bemused that cancer, alone of all the things that can kill us, is given this personality and treated like a creature that we can beat and make scared.

It doesn't make any sense to me. I explained my diagnosis to my daughter as my cells were growing where they shouldn't as something had gone wrong with them. That's all it is - not some monster rampaging through my body that I have to 'fight'. I don't see that as either a helpful or relevant image for my 8 year old.

I will endure the chemo and radiotherapy to come and hope that all the malignant cells have died. But please don't slap me on the back and tell me I am 'kicking cancer's arse' because it just makes no sense at all. And a nice message for my daughter if I do die - o mummy didn't fight hard enough! She didn't make the nasty cancer sufficiently scared!

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 18:59:53

Other than not smoking, keeping a good diet and weight, exercise and light to moderate drinking, there isn't a whole hell of a lot you can do about it.

Spottyblancmange Sat 23-Mar-13 19:01:04

I think saying CAMHS made it sound like her kids needed the treatment, because as far as I know they don't treat adults.

However, whilst I agree fear of cancer isn't necessarily irrational, I do agree with expat that waking up at night and fear is something counsellors are there to help with.

EggyFucker Sat 23-Mar-13 19:02:34

totally agree, spero

EchoBitch Sat 23-Mar-13 19:05:08

But if Shelley's Granny died of cancer then maybe it isn't so irrational for her to worry about it.

It is a reality for her,just like it is for my DC after their Grandma died from it unexpectedly last year.

We had three weeks from diagnosis to my Mum's death.

Now their Dad has it.

I don't know how long ago Shelley's Granny died but it's not irrational to worry.

Spero Sat 23-Mar-13 19:05:45

I think this personification of cancer is encouraging fears about it, which just aren't present for any other illness or disease. I don't know of anyone who wakes up in the night, worried they will have a stroke or get hit by a car - but I know loads who are scared they will get cancer.

Spero Sat 23-Mar-13 19:07:39

Perhaps because you can look and feel so well with a cancerous tumour? Is that what makes it different? The only thing that's made me feel ill with breast cancer so far is the chemo.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 19:22:29

'Is that what makes it different?'

I don't know, because plenty appear just fine before having a heart attack or stroke, and, as you know, far more people die from both those than cancer.

Writehand Sat 23-Mar-13 19:22:54

My DH died of cancer, and one of the things we both found distressing and offensive was the commonly used phrase that someone "fought valiantly" against cancer. The whole concept really bothered us. We hated it. I hate the advert the OP mentioned too. The difference is that I know why.

The idea that cancer is something the patient or the family fights against is deeply misguided. Because if cancer is a battle, then death is defeat. You can't fight a terminal malignancy. If it's a battle and it kills you then the obvious conclusion is that you simply didn't fight hard enough. for your kids, for your widow... Which is a wicked thing to say.

My DH died almost exactly a year after diagnosis. He looked appalling and, God, he suffered. He was terminally ill, not a flippin' soldier. He didn't "fight" the cancer any more than people fight arthritis, or heart attacks or epilepsy. It's an illness, not a war.

I think that may be the unexpressed feeling of the OP. And, if so, she's being far from U.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 19:25:53

Here, here, Write!

mrsbungle Sat 23-Mar-13 19:34:34

Well said write

it's an illness not a war has summed it up for me. That's why I really don't like the advert.

FrameyMcFrame Sat 23-Mar-13 19:45:25

I agree, it's horrible.
I don't know about this particular charity but a lot of cancer charities spend an enormous amount of the money they are given on 'raising awareness' rather than actual medical research.

Also pitifully little amounts of the money raised gets spent on researching treatments for late stage cancer... a lot is spent on screening which has been proved not to make the huge difference they had hoped. Especially in breast cancer.

likesnowflakesinanocean Sat 23-Mar-13 19:51:41

My died of cancer at the age of 45, In november last year. I hate this advert with a passion. It makes me cry every time it comes on. Yes i want to stamp my feet and swear at it but ultimately, it isnt a fight. and it isnt one that my mum could ever of won it completely changed her she literally changed before our eyes. Her death was horrible and completely unavoidable in the sense that it was not because she didnt want to fight. swearing about cancer wont beat it but research could one day.

likesnowflakesinanocean Sat 23-Mar-13 19:52:08

i was so busy ranting i forgot to write mum

firesidechat Sat 23-Mar-13 19:59:08

Doesn't pretty much everyone who's lost someone to cancer worry about getting it? I think I also have guilt about having smoked for 10 yrs (7 years smoke free now). I can't be the only one.

I'm not scared of cancer because, apart from some of the things that expat mentioned, it's not something I can control. I might get it, I might not and, with my family history, I'm more likely to die of a stroke. I do not want to die before my 3 score and 10, but I don't worry about it either.

My mum had cancer about 30 years ago, was treated and has been fine since.

A lovely friend died of cancer last year.

Another friend diagnosed last year.

Husband has just had second lot of cancer (same type).

I know it's easy to say, but being afraid would be a waste of energy at the moment. Maybe we've lived with it for too long to be scared of it.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 23-Mar-13 20:03:41

I like it. but then I'm quite aggressive when I want something so could relate to the message.

neo, we are all aggressive, when we want something, esp surival, its our most basic rawest drive possible, people will kill others to survive.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 20:08:41

Wow. I really wanted my daughter to live. And the fact is no matter how aggressively she was treated, she still died.

domesticslattern Sat 23-Mar-13 20:08:52

I haven't seen the TV ad but I have seen the 'cancer we're coming to whip your ass' (or whatever the exact words are) print ad. I saw it in fact coming back from cleaning the home of a friend with cancer. My first thought was what a crude, silly ad it was, and how dignified my friend is. I loathe the fighting/ brave/ hero vocab around cancer, and this ad seriously puts me off donating. So, OP you're not the only one!

EchoBitch Sat 23-Mar-13 20:13:36

I'm scared of getting it.

Delatron Sat 23-Mar-13 20:21:14

Have had breast cancer and am at the moment I'm ok. There was no battle, no fighting. I did my treatment and now I am crossing my fingers and will be for the rest of my life.

I hate this advert, as someone posted earlier, it belittles cancer, portrays it as some annoying thing that if we all shout and swear then we will find a cure? What rubbish. I did like the falling down advert as that portrays how being diagnosed with cancer is for the individual and all their loved ones.

Everyone who has had cancer seems to hate the 'battle' terminology, it is lazy journalism, it is the phrase consistently rolled out. If I die of cancer I will make sure nobody utters the words 'she lost her battle'!

Anyway, the cure seems elusive, more and more people are getting cancer, at earlier ages. We should be angry but I would like to see more research in to the reasons WHY 1 in 3 and soon 1 in 2 of us will be diagnosed in our lifetime.

IceBergJam Sat 23-Mar-13 20:22:05

Hate hate hate that advert. You either pulled the short straw and die from it, or you got lucky and survived.

Having lost a large number of family members to it, and had a few survived, it is purely about timing and luck to me.

firesidechat Sat 23-Mar-13 20:25:30

I'm scared of getting it.

Most people probably would be and I probably should be. Perhaps when I'm less tired and have stopped worrying about husband I will get back to scared again.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 20:26:24

I'd like to see more gene-therapy, genetics research. My daughter's cancer had very complex genetics. She had a particular mutation within AML that affects only 12% of paed AMLs, which account for 20% of all leukaemia in childhood. But although this mutation, FLT3, is the most common in adults, it behaves very differently in paeds and confers an absolutely appalling OS of just 19% with successful stem cell transplant (it is not curable with chemo alone).

No 'battle'. Just a horrific illness caused by genetic defects we have yet to understand.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 20:30:32

Similarly, in ALL, there are certain mutations known to confer high-risk, lower survival as is being a teenager. Why? The answer, of course, lies in further genetics research and better treatment does, too.

Our daughter died cancer-free, of the treatment. She was able to donate to a worldwide database 500mL of her own, cancer-free bone marrow which will, in a lab, produce her lethal form of cancer fairly quickly, as it is not curable with chemo. Hopefully, as the sample can be frozen indefinitely and only a small amount is needed at a time, one day we can understand it better.

But it is a lloooonnngg time away. Due to the incredibly high relapse risk associated with it, as we don't fully understand what is wrong genetically, treatment for her type of leukaemia has advanced very little in the past few decades.

Delatron Sat 23-Mar-13 20:33:50

Agree with expat that genetics research should be the way forward and hopefully we will see more developments in this area in the future.

What really gets on my goat is that Cancer Research, roughly every 3 months, trots out the same rubbish about how being overweight, or drinking wine, or eating unhealthily causes cancer. In about 30% of cases that may be a factor but please crack on and work out what is causing cancer in the other 70%! We all know we should live a healthy life but from what I have seen that is no magic bullet. I just feel like like the money needs to be spent in other areas and I feel like we are not seeing much progress despite the billions going to 'research'

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 20:39:39

I agree, Delatron! Also there needs be more focus on relapsed cancers and secondary cancers. Often, the genetics of these leave those afflicted with shockingly low prognoses as they fail to respond to treatment. The disease has learned and mutated to withstand it. Viruses can do that, too, but of course, this is oneself, not a foreign invader.

Writehand Sat 23-Mar-13 20:45:18

One of the "good" things about a cancer diagnosis (round here at least. It may be different in other areas) is the amount of support you get.

My DH got spiritual healing, massage, offers of counselling -- there's a local cancer centre where this is all free. I got free counselling once a week for 9 months, was offered massage, aromatherapy. This is all paid for by donations. Our cancer centre is lovely, with beautiful rooms, lights, furniture. Fresh flowers. We were cherished. But it left me feeling a bit weird.

Because there are loads of other illnesses just as deadly, just as unpleasant, where there's no help of any sort outside of strictly medical treatment. People seem to be more willing to donate to cancer services than less well known or well publicised diseases.

Delatron Sat 23-Mar-13 20:47:21

Agree expat. I'm shocked at how little money is sent on secondary cancer and also the more 'rare' cancers. Despite being a breast cancer sufferer I do think money is skewered towards this cancer, leaving other cancers short of funding.

The whole 'awareness' thing pisses me off. I think you would've had to be living in a cave not to be aware of cancer. Enough already!

firesidechat Sat 23-Mar-13 20:50:23

My husbands cancer is one that has no known cause. Smoking can be a factor, but he has never smoked; he is naturally skinny, so not weight related and has always lead a fairly healthy lifestyle. It's just one of those things.

Last time he went in for treatment we had a long conversation with the cancer nurse about cancer in general. One of the things she said was that childhood cancers can be more aggressive because young bodies are producing new cells much more quickly than older bodies. Bad cells as well as good ones. Some cancers in older people can be much slower growing.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 20:58:20

We got none of that, but then, my child's cancer had one of the worst protocols known to all cancer. Her protocol, which began 4 days after she was diagnosed as she was sceptic when she went in, then needed bone marrow aspiration and a Hickman line installed for the chemo, was 4 rounds, back to back. 7-10 days solid, in-patient, of 3-4 chemo drugs, all designed to annihilate the granulocytes, meaning strict iso. Then she would be neutropaenic, sometimes for over a month, locked up in strict iso and unable to take GSC-F because it causes rapid blood cell production, like a red flag to the bull that is leukaemia. As soon as the counts rose enough, more chemo.

Poor little soul didn't even get to take advantage of any perks for most of it sad.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 20:59:27

Brain cancers in particular, Dela, so little funding, and yet, they are not particularly rare and common enough as secondary cancers. It's shocking and sad.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 21:03:57

She got GCS-F once during her chemo rounds, as the cytogenetics came back showing that, whilst she was in morphological remission and one of her mutations was gone, the FLT3 was still there. So the plan was to give her the GCS-F along side the second round, to take out the new blood cells, too. It worked, but peritonitis nearly killed her and I know of someone else's teen daughter with the same form of leukaemia who did not survive that course of treatment, her bowel burst (because of course the chemo causes the bowel wall to become paper thin) and she died of septicaemia sad.

scrablet Sat 23-Mar-13 21:07:19

I'm so glad this was posted. I HATE this ad, it is so stupid to suggest 'cancer' might be 'scared'.
When my Mum was diagnosed she was determined to fight, she was the strongest person I have ever known.
Meant nothing.
Thank you other posters for putting into words what I feel about this ad. Might complain actually, or is that over reacting?
(about ad btw)

Delatron Sat 23-Mar-13 21:08:26

Yes was thinking brain tumours expat, I remember signing the petition that went round mumsnet a while ago as I had no idea that area was so underfunded.

There should be some sort of campaign for more equal funding. Am veering a bit off topic here but it is shocking and unacceptable.

SmilingMakesMyFaceAche Sat 23-Mar-13 21:10:30

My brother had rare and aggressive cancer when he was 15. Ewings sarcoma. He fought. We all fought like fuck. Whoever says you don't fight is misunderstanding the word. You fight your mindset, you fight against the doom and fear that tries to fill ever pore of you, you fight to stay mentally and emotionally with it whilst all hell is breaking loose on your body.
It's right that the body becomes the battleground but there is so much more to the fight than that.
I witnessed, as a terrified 20 year old, a dr telling my poor brother that his cancer was inoperable and too advanced to stop it. I watched my parents turn to stone in a strange living grief. We had to fight or we would've fallen apart.
And yes, I fucking love that advert because cancer is a twat and deserves to be beaten.
We still have wobbly days where even the memory of that time emotionally overcomes us, I find it very hard sometimes but in addition to the battles my brother and parents face, I know my personal fight is not to let that despicable disease ruin our lives any longer.
My brother- miraculously- beat it. That was 11 years ago. Who knows what will happen in the future? All I know is we all fought and we fought alongside the wonderful, wonderful NHS that saved us.

Delatron Sat 23-Mar-13 21:12:01

I don't think it is over-reacting to complain scrablet. Cancer Research have form for this. Wasn't their last campaign featuring pictures of smiley women saying 'Lucy wasn't going to let cancer beat her' FFS how can they get it SO wrong every time. They end up insulting everyone with cancer and everyone who has watched a loved one go through it.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 21:13:53

We 'fought', too, Smiling. And I'm so glad your brother survived because most with relapsed Ewing's Sarcoma do not. But it hasn't anything to do with fighting. My little girl was so strong. She never complained. She bore her illness and its horrendous treatment with calm and dignity.

She died. She did not 'lose' her 'fight', she succumbed to her disease.

She was 9.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 21:18:33

'We had to fight or we would've fallen apart.'

EVERYONE does! I haven't met a parent alive who hasn't. I lived on RedBull and ProPlus and dropped over 2st.

There was nothing to be beaten, her cancer wasn't an extra-terrestrial enemy, it was a fundamental flew of her own genetics at a profoundly molecular level we do not understand that caused her bone marrow to fail, and was not curable with chemo and even with successful stem cell/bone marrow transplant has a terrible OS rate.

Less than two months after she died, 2 other girls with her disease in that unit died from it. We were there 7 months and 29 days, came to know 4 girls with the disease. 8 months later, one 1 is still alive.

Was it from not 'fighting' that they didn't 'beat' it, their families didn't 'fight', they 'fell apart'? No, AML in paeds is a shit, aggressive form of leukaemia that is highly resistant to treatment in many cases and has a huge or certain relapse risk in others.

I completely resent the idea that my child didn't 'fight'.

HoliHoliHoliday Sat 23-Mar-13 21:20:40

I think this add is far better than the usual ones, except the one with people falling over. I did not get the impression that people die who don't fight hard enough, but that we need to fight harder with research etc.
Disclaimer have nursed 2 close relatives who died with cancer.

SmilingMakesMyFaceAche Sat 23-Mar-13 21:21:25

And I am so desperately sorry to hear that. There are no words are there? None.
All I hope is one day that nobody will ever have to go through this. I would do anything. I often begged to 'god' to swap places with him. I don't know exactly what you're going through, I only know what we went through and the pain if that still strikes.
I'm not going to give you flowers, it won't be enough. I just want you to know that I will think of your family now - along with our others we knew- when I do whatever tiny thing I can that may make a difference somehow. Xxx

Delatron Sat 23-Mar-13 21:23:07

It is all down to luck. You could roll over and say 'take me now cancer' and survive. You could (as many do) fight, fight and be one of the LUCKY ones.

So sorry for your loss expat. I followed your threads and she sounded like an amazing brave, beautiful girl. Life is so unfair sometimes x

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes Sat 23-Mar-13 21:25:26

I hate the advert and like others I hate the whole rhetoric of cancer as a 'battle' that can be won if you fight hard enough. My dad died of cancer last year and he specifically asked that their be no references to "long battles" at his funeral.

The advert is all a bit brass eye (although she does actually say prat not twat) - it's cancer as viewed by some vacuous tosser ad executive. Boke.

I've actually cancelled my direct debit to cruk.

SmilingMakesMyFaceAche Sat 23-Mar-13 21:27:28

Delatron- it's right. It is. My brother often feels quite guilty that he was fortunate enough to survive whilst others didn't.
I think I'm going to go now because this has been quite triggering ( my own choice to come on here I know) and I feel a bit panicky.
My thoughts of empathy and love to all those who have been affected by this awful, dreadful illness.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 21:28:13

It is, Dela. A lot of times it's pure luck. Our friends in the unit, the hand their baby son was dealt was DIPG, a form of glioma/brain cancer for which there is no known treatment. He died at 19 months of age. If there were a fight to be fought, his parents tried to find it for him.

Sheer shit luck. That's what it was.

Pancreatic cancer? Most of them die and die soon. No known lifestyle factors contribute to it. It's just shit luck.

I could go on and one.

FrameyMcFrame Sat 23-Mar-13 21:29:36

Smiling, I think fighting is an unfortunate term when a disease kills someone. People can 'fight' and take all the awful treatments that they can but still die. It's not fair, and not about how hard you fight.

scrablet Sat 23-Mar-13 21:30:46

You don't beat this disease.
You either survive it or you don't.
Of course having a positive attitude is helpful to the individual's mindset, and helps the surrounding people.
But cancer is not a living entity which chooses someone and then rubs its hands together in glee if that person does not survive.
Wish it was, wish we could 'kick its butt'.
It does not exist like that...

Delatron Sat 23-Mar-13 21:33:41

Oh smiling, sorry this thread has made you panicky. It is wonderful to hear about those that survive, when the odds are stacked against them. It is nice to hear positive stories and I'm so pleased your brother is well.

It shows that this advert evokes different responses for us all, due to our different experiences of cancer.

aldiwhore Sat 23-Mar-13 21:34:45

I do think the ad is correct in it's intended message that collectively we have to fight cancer, via money, for research... that's the FIGHT. The only one that might ever make a difference.

But I do think it's poorly done as it comes across as though it's down to the individual 'pysching cancer out', which of course it isn't.

Whether you live or die is rarely down to something you've done or not done, but luck. (Even the man who claimed to have beaten cancer by changing his diet radically, at best he stumbled on something that might have made a difference, but what exactly? I'd bet even he doesn't eactly know)

Aside from that, most people 'fight' in that they don't simply roll over and die at a positive diagnosis. For my MIL, fighting was getting up in the morning, having Drs look at her privates (cancer of the vulva primarily - horrendous), carrying on, smiling. For my friend, fighting was running marathons, doing crazy things to raise money, trying everything there was to try (from spiritual to eating odd sludge from somewhere or other). It made no difference in either case, but they were both 'fighters', as are the people who survive and live in it's shadow.

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes Sat 23-Mar-13 21:37:28

I think sometimes people like to believe that it is a fight because that narrative scares them less. Actually like most bad things that happen in a life it's just random and arbitrary and doesn't have anything to do with deserving it or not, or fighting or not. That means acknowledging the fundamental uncertainty of life and that's scarier perhaps?

Delatron Sat 23-Mar-13 21:38:41

Has anyone read 'Emperor of all Maladies'? It shows just how a complex and frightening disease cancer is. I unfortunately doubt, in our lifetime anyway, we will 'kick its butt'.

My hope, and I think there are some signs that this is happening, is that cancer becomes a manageable, long term condition. Like diabetes for example. What this doesn't address is why so many people are getting cancer. Once you have a cancer diagnosis it changes your life forever. Personally I would rather fewer people had to go through this in the first place.

crunchy, thats what i think the problem is, people want to delude themselves into thinking they have control of things they don't

they like to think, well if i do get cancer, i will beat it

as if they are somehow in control

when they are not

thats why theres so much talk of fighting and battles
beacause people are too shit scared to face the truth

EduCated Sat 23-Mar-13 21:44:57

When I saw it, I sort of wanted to like it because it was different and a step away from the big-eyed, soft piano music ones that try to make you feel guilty.

But it just missed the mark so spectacularly, for all the reasons everyone's already said.

And I really hate this fucking 'awareness' shit. Anyone who isn't 'aware' of cancer is not going to be in any kind of position where they can do anything. It just lets people feel like they're doing something, that by posting a hilarious cryptic FB status that they're helping people with cancer, which I genuinely believe holds people back from doing the actually useful stuff because they've already 'done their bit' angry

Thymeout Sat 23-Mar-13 22:06:20

I think what would work better for me is something factual, relating improved survival rates to money spent on research. There are now cancers where the diagnosis is not so much of a death sentence as it used to be. Let's hear of some success stories and drum in the message that research costs money and donations make a difference. That puts us a bit more in control, gives us something we can do.

Getting angry with cancer and shouting at it feels like losing control, shaking our fists at a force of nature like a tsunami or a hurricane or something. Irrational and disturbing. And crude - kickass, prat.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 22:34:49

Many, many people die free from their cancer. They die of secondary infection or complications of treatment. My daughter was one such and, six months later, a friend, age 42, of the same thing that claimed Aillidh, pneumonia following bone marrow transplant that resulted in organ failure.

firesidechat Sat 23-Mar-13 22:35:08

Completely agree with you Thymeout and very well put.

Cancer does change you as a person, although hopefully only for a while. My husband was sometimes a bit more short tempered immediately after the diagnosis and why shouldn't he be. But would hate to let anger be a part of our lives now, when it wasn't before.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 22:44:43

Anger at cancer isn't part of our lives and has never been. It's a disease. There is nothing we or anyone could have done to prevent what happened to Aillidh. She had a brilliant consultant and the very best treatment available.

We never saw it as a fight, a struggle or a battle that she lost. She died from a disease.

thymeout, agree with yout tsumami/hurricaine comments

i mean, imagine, theres a hurricane heading towards your house, you hand out your window shaking your fists shouting fuck off hurricane, then your house gets stucked up into the air wizard of oz style

actually makes you realise how shit and pathetic this advert is

i would like a factual ad too.

expatinscotland Sat 23-Mar-13 22:54:15

Well put, Thyme.

EduCated Sat 23-Mar-13 23:08:08

Completely agree, Thyme.

FarleyD Sat 23-Mar-13 23:58:48

I'm sorry if this thread has caused distress to anyone, some of you have had/are having dreadful traumatic experiences, and it wasn't my intention to throw raw grief into anyone's faces. Expat - I don't understand a lot of the terms you're using, but it's clear you've had a horrific time and I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

Dh has been ill for years, he's had organ transplants, heart valve replacements, strokes, and (what feels like) a million other problems in between. Each time something else comes up, we don't think of it as a problem he has to "fight", the implication in that word to us is that he has got himself into a situation, which he has to fight his way out of, that somehow its his own fault. It's not his fault, his body is turning on him for whatever reason - all we can do is trust in the skill (or not in some instances unfortunately) of the medics, and in pure luck. Dh does have a very strong and positive mental attitude, but that has bugger all to do with the outcome, that's just the way he is.

It's the disingenuity of that advert that grates on me I think, it reduces something insiduous and deadly to a very simplistic level and implies that the power is in our hands. We may have power to raise money for research, but certainly not to "fight" it off.

Viviennemary Sun 24-Mar-13 00:06:06

I don't much like the fighting battle terminology either. But I don't expect they can please everyone. I read that cancer research charities do very well indeed. But maybe it's not so now with the recession and so on.

Viviennemary Sun 24-Mar-13 00:07:40

Sorry I didn't read all the thread before commenting. And sorry if the thread or comments have caused distress to anyone.

expatinscotland Sun 24-Mar-13 00:10:51

No need to apologise, Farley, sounds like he's been to the wars. And of course, it is not his fault. This is not a battle or a fight.

It just seems not only stupid but also insulting to insinuate that a disease, an illness, any of them, is a 'battle', a 'fight'. Honestly, next time I see one of these smiley people on FB with a placard, 'I kicked cancer's ass' '[insert name] - 1; cancer - 0' I'm seriously considering posting a photo of the four of us in our finest, smiling away, at my child's grave, 'Aillidh - 0; AML - 5'.

She did not die from lack of fight, she died from a largely lethal strain of cancer.

It just harks back to what white said about people not wanting to lose control.

Well, that's what life is all about.

I'd rather see facts. I'd rather see real faces. Why not? They do it for dirty water and starvation, quite rightly. Those are real people. 'Can we stop it now? Will you help us stop it now?'

babanouche Sun 24-Mar-13 02:16:28

I hate this advert. hate it hate it. HATE IT.

babanouche Sun 24-Mar-13 02:17:20

Sorry I didn't read the thread before posting and I see now there's a bit of a convo going on.

cleofatra Sun 24-Mar-13 09:22:37

It's cancer's turn to be afraid'. What a completely bizarre thing to say! It doesn't have a brain

totally this

Delatron Sun 24-Mar-13 09:35:46

There are also so many different types of cancer. With Breast cancer, for example, there is now known to be at least 10 different types. All have different prognoses.

We have made progress in some cancers and very little in others.

So which 'cancer' are they on about?

It is reducing cancer to something simplistic. Cancer is not just one simple disease.

Agree I would just like a factual advert, show where all this money is going, show where progress is being made...

Punkatheart Sun 24-Mar-13 11:40:30

Firstly, I would like to send my love (yes, love) to all the people on this thread who have either been affected or have had loved one suffer or die as a result.
The word is media created and is the most fearful word most people can hear. In fact - there are adenocarcinomas, lymphomas such thing really as this awful generic word, cancer.

Wishing good outcomes for those who are suffering - but perhaps the advert-makers need to see some of this feedback?

Orianne Sun 24-Mar-13 12:48:32

So how should they raise money? What should be happening? How do you convey the message without pissing people off with schmaltz or angering them with 'media generated' words? What would make people sit down in the middle of 'Corrie' and think "I must donate". It can't only come from people who have loved ones suffer, can it?

Orianne Sun 24-Mar-13 12:50:06

Although I'm sure there aren't maybe people out there who haven't been in some way 'touched by cancer'.

babanouche Sun 24-Mar-13 14:35:41

I think the majority here don't like the ad. It may have good intentions but the consensus is it hasn't been fully realised.

Schmaltz turns people off.

To answer your question Orianne, I think facts and figure would work. Lets see the achievements that have been made - prove to us that funding really does work - and then show us where more funding is needed and why.

EduCated Sun 24-Mar-13 14:42:13

Yes, show what's happening, what the money goes to, tell me what's been achieved so far, what they're working to achieve.

FarleyD Sun 24-Mar-13 18:02:38

Orianne, I think they'd raise more money by not patronising us with either the heart-string tugging misty-focused ads or this ad, which gives the impression that if we shout loud enough we can "beat" this enemy. As others have said, tell it like it is. Tell us what the money has been spent on, what discoveries have been made, what they need to find out next etc. I don't know if that approach would work for everyone, but certainly for me it would be an improvement. This ad we're talking about actually makes me feel queasy, and I have never, in my fairly long life, felt like that about an ad before!

Orianne Mon 25-Mar-13 18:02:50

Farley, I think that would work for me to.

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