see. i knew this would happen. and now i am pissed off.

(147 Posts)
TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 07:59:28

dh. New job. Different hours. Further to drive. His car drinks more fuel than mine.

I predicted that he'd want to take my car not his. Financial logic agrees.

But I am actually pissed off.

It is my car. Mine. I bought it. I paid for ut. Mine.

And now it is my day off. All I need to do is tske DD and pick her up from her friday thing. I hate driving his car.

Be gentle. I have an evil cold and have yanked my back coughing. And i hurt.

ssd Fri 22-Mar-13 08:01:06

sorry but really, the dilemma of having a car each must be awful.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:02:50

Mo. Necessary when you live in tge back end of nowhere and both work shifts in opposite directions.
What do you suggest? Walk 15 miles at 10.30pm?

MrsHiddleston Fri 22-Mar-13 08:03:06

Are you so 'mine, mine, mine' about other things in your marriage?

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:03:41

No. Just my stuff.

MrsHiddleston Fri 22-Mar-13 08:04:06

Seriously don't get angry it's a car...

noblegiraffe Fri 22-Mar-13 08:04:11

Sell his car and buy another like yours.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:05:48

Really though.

I am pissed off because we had a conversation about this and decidd it didn't matter.

It didn't matter until I was short of slerp, snotty and in pain. Now it matters.

WildThongsEggHunt Fri 22-Mar-13 08:06:14

teggie I understand how you feel. But deep down you know it makes sense dontcha?

binger Fri 22-Mar-13 08:06:36

I'm with you. I love my car but hate dh's. There are times when it is more convenient to swap but I dislike it. I guess it makes sense to swap but doesn't mean you have to like it.

bbface Fri 22-Mar-13 08:07:58

odd odd odd. not something that would ever feature as an issue in my marriage. I just can not see your problem.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:08:09

It also means that on my day off I can't go anywhere. And I wanted to do and snuggle a new baby.

NewAtThisMalarky Fri 22-Mar-13 08:08:57


Tell him if you havd to use his car then he needs to sell it and get one more like yours.

MrsToddsShortcut Fri 22-Mar-13 08:09:27

Oh Teggie, sorry about your cold/back - sounds like you feel really horrible at the mo, so sympathy from me.

No, YANBU for feeling like you do, but... You know it makes sense though. Fwiw, I completely understand how you feel about the driving. When you are used to driving a smaller car, it can be quite nerve wracking having to drive a bigger one as you worry about misjudging the size etc.

Big unmumsnetty hugs from me grin

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Fri 22-Mar-13 08:09:53

I know how you feel. I hate anyone else driving my car. blush I know it's stupid, but I do.

I got round it very easily. My car is an automatic and his is a manual. I can't drive a manual (I need an adapted vehicle with hand controls) so he's got no choice. grin

He sometimes says that the next car he gets should be an automatic and he'll have it fitted out so we can both drive either. I just stay vague. blush

ssd Fri 22-Mar-13 08:10:00

what I suggest is stop moaning and be glad your dh got a new job and you've still got 2 cars, plenty of us manage living in the back of beyond working shifts with one driving the car and the other cycling/busing it

you are coming across as really annoying

I hate dh driving my car, he treats it the way he treats his car except his car can take it cos its a beast and mine can't cos its a granny car
Yanbu cos you are ill and need sympathy.

Borntobeamum Fri 22-Mar-13 08:11:18

Talk to him about it.

lysteddy Fri 22-Mar-13 08:11:54

Yanbu but you cant snuggle a new baby you have an evil cold remember..

Twattybollocks Fri 22-Mar-13 08:12:25

Yanbu. I hate driving dh's car. It's ridiculously long, and so low to the ground I struggle to get in and out. The visibility is shite and my head touches the roof.
He does sometimes ask to take my 4x4 to work in weather like this, which I always refuse as I have to take the kids to school, and I'm not driving a rwd car in the snow with kids in it. I just tell him to buy a proper practical car and he wouldn't have this problem.

Bonkerz Fri 22-Mar-13 08:12:26

I'm with you OP I use my dh car all time now as he used mine for a week and I can't get seat to adjust again. I think cars are like fountain pens and adjust to driver

Awww poor you it must be awful. When my dh has to drive long distances in our 1 car for work, I have to walk for 45mins to pick ds up from nursery, after I've finished work, then get the bus home with ds as buses are too expensive to get both ways...

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Fri 22-Mar-13 08:15:10

I understand how you feel, I am currently having to use dp's car and I hate it, in our case I'm the one with the bigger car but dp is off work with a bad back so in rider to try and claw back some money I am using his far more economical car, I know that in order for us to pay the bills I have to but that doesn't mean I like it.

We also live in the middle of nowhere with no bus stops anywhere near and both work in different directions so 2 cars is an essential for work not a luxury

Startail Fri 22-Mar-13 08:15:21

I'm a SAHM so I didn't pay for mine, but I still get huffy if DH takes mine instead of his, without asking.

It's mine, it has my junk in it, sometimes useful junk like gloves, phone charger and sunglasses.

purrpurr Fri 22-Mar-13 08:15:44

I'm with you OP, I love my car. I detest my DH's car, it's so chuffing expensive, that's what I hate most about it. Not that I would voluntarily bash mine or crash into someone or get into an accident, and I always try to ensure I'm driving safely, but just the idea of driving his cumbersome, massive, difficult to drive and horrendously expensive metal cage makes me twitch. I drove it once a few years ago round an industrial estate and was a trembling wreck when I got out.

He's just taken my car as it's better for snow, leaving his big metal heap on the drive. Yay. That'll be me staying in then.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:15:49

Ssd. You are slso coming across as annoying for not reading properly.
There is no public transport at early or late shift times. Bike is not an option if I want to stay alive. A car each is a necesdity not a luxury.

Of course I am being illogical and ridiculous. That adds to my pissed offness. But it is still my car. And bring proved right does not soothe me much.

And my back hurts.

LedaOfSparta Fri 22-Mar-13 08:16:56

He can sell his car and buy a small economical one and use that. Then you can have your own car back and you will all be grin .

I sympathise though, I hate dh. using our 1 car as I can't get the seat back into the perfect position and I have to faff with the mirrors.

Startail Fri 22-Mar-13 08:18:16

As for owning two cars, you simply wouldn't live here without two means of transport.
When work was nearer DH had a motor bike, but he now has a hour commute.

Nearest bus is 3 miles away

NewAtThisMalarky Fri 22-Mar-13 08:18:26

Why are people getting all competitive?

Op - i'm annoyed
Reply - my situation is worse so ner
Another reply - mine is worse too so of course you are being unreasonable

Whether the op is unreasonable or not does not depend on anyone else's circumstances. Are people jealous?

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:19:26

It is a truly tragic situation isn't it and not at all first world oh no

I need a new plan for my day off niw.

I think cake, cheese, P&P in bed.

OHforDUCKScake Fri 22-Mar-13 08:21:57

That'd piss me off too!

Emilythornesbff Fri 22-Mar-13 08:30:31

Sell his wretched car and buy your dd a pony. wink

Get him to sell his car (the one you don't like driving) to get a new(er) one that you do like driving - problem solved!

dopeysheep Fri 22-Mar-13 08:38:32

I don't think you are giving his car a chance. Maybe if you just take things slowly at first and take the car's feelings into consideration you will be ok? Imagine how rejected the poor thing must feel if neither of you want it today?
There will also be jealousy of your car as it will be seen as the favoured one.
Give the big car a chance!

I'm with you OP. I suggest a clever murder scheme and then spending the insurance money on a newer, even nicer car and you wouldn't have to share! Of course, I'm just in a bad mood because not so DH discovered my secret chocolate stash and raided it whilst I was asleep last night so my advice may not be best.

And I know I'm lucky to be able to afford chocolate, never mind the cupboard to put it in. (said with heavy sarcasm in case anyone is wondering)

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:40:40

He does need to flog his stupid car and get a more economical one.

But his argument is that once a year we need a bigger car. Mine is little and plastic. But i think that for the one occassion a year when we need a bigger one we coukd cope.

Also both cars are crap. If he sold his for a tenner a different smaller one would cost more.

Fuckit. I can't be arsed. His problem. I'm going to take sone good drugs and go to bed.

GladbagsGold Fri 22-Mar-13 08:48:28

What cars have you got? We have one car which is big and cumbersome but I am used to it. Now and again I need to drive something else and I hate getting used to another car where everything is in a different place.

Suggest you make yourself keep driving 'his' car until you are used to it. Have a bar of chocolate each time you drive it, so you can Pavlov-train yourself into loving it.

Get well, soon, cake and cheese in bed sounds like a good plan though I am not sure about P&P, surely Jiffy bags won't improve things??

Shesparkles Fri 22-Mar-13 08:48:37

No, YANBU for feeling like you do, but... You know it makes sense though. Fwiw, I completely understand how you feel about the driving. When you are used to driving a smaller car, it can be quite nerve wracking having to drive a bigger one as you worry about misjudging the size etc.

This. This is unreasonable!!!(of it is behind your reluctance to drive the other car)

I by no means belong on the feminist boards, but this attitude from women is what almost sends me into orbit. For the love of god stop being so pathetic and go and learn to drive a car other than your little "wife's car". Why do done women take on this silly little woman persona when it comes to driving? If you can't drive anything bigger than a roller skate then you shouldn't be n hue of at all.
Or how about making a joint decision about which cars you buy, so you're tooth happy and confident about driving them both?
There's only 1 way to get more confident in the other car, and that's to get in and drive the bloody thing!

LimboLil Fri 22-Mar-13 08:55:52

I'm crap at driving too. I have an ancient Ford which I am comfy with. Hub has a BMW estate, company car, much posher than mine and gets more approving looks from the snotty parents on the school run but I just prefer my car. Not sure that being a wife comes into it. Just the way it is. The funny thing is when it snows, hub wants my car because it doesn't get stuck in half an inch of snow like his. lol.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:56:54

I can drive it. I am confident driving it. I just don't like driving it.

They are both old and crap but the big one is like driving a sodding tank, while the power steering is marginallly better in the littler one.

melika Fri 22-Mar-13 09:00:18

Yanbu, my DH always insists he has the biggest chunkiest engine in his car, usually bigger than my car. We haven't got the problem at present because we were broken into and the car was stolen. Which was almost a relief to me. He has a eco friendly Astra esate to run around in now.

Tell him to sell his car now for a more economical one, its his problem, not yours.

Indith Fri 22-Mar-13 09:02:54

I understand the feeling OP.

Come on now stop being mean to the poor Teggie. She knows she IBU, she has agreed that her dh can use her car because it is the most sensible option, she is just sad that it means she has to drive his car instead. That is a perfectly reasonable feeling.

I don't think it is about not being able to drive anything that isn't a little "wifey" runaround, it is just about driving a car that you are not used to. We all feel a bit odd the first few times we drive a new/different car. You have to fumble a bit to find the gear stick, you manage to retune the radio and wash the windscreen before you finally hot upon the indicator, that sort of thing.

You will get used to driving his car though Teggie if you now have to drive it on a regular basis.

GladbagsGold Fri 22-Mar-13 09:03:52

Sorry didn't mean to make you out to be 'feeble little woman driver' - totally appreciate that the problem is you don't like it rather than anything else. I fecking hate the 'ooh that's a big car for a lady to drive' attitude.

ivanapoo Fri 22-Mar-13 09:04:40

YABU - you should be smug that you chose the better car for driving and for saving money and the extra £ saved should go on treats for you

I do sympathise a bit though - I have a shiny new awesome car with dab radio and isofix and featherlight steering and the beepy thing when you reverse which means I hardly ever drive our other big old car and when I do it's so heavy and takes loads more effort. Goes like shit off a hot shovel when you accelerate though.

AgathaF Fri 22-Mar-13 09:04:56

You shouldn't be snuggling a new baby with an evil cold anyway.

It will all look so much better when you are better.

LtEveDallas Fri 22-Mar-13 09:07:17

Dear God, lots of competetive sadding on here this morning.

I'm the same Taggie. Get unreasonably irritated if DH uses my lovely little Punto and leave me with the Estate. We need the estate - we do a lot of long distance driving that just wouldn't be practical in the Punto, but I still feel like I'm behind the wheel of a tank in the family car.

(See I'm even more unreasonable than you - The Punto is MY car, the Estate is the FAMILY car! Poor old DH doesnt get a look in grin)

Get to bed and enjoy your drugs. I am very envious.

Pootles2010 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:08:53

That does sound bloody annoying. You chose your car because you like it and it fits your needs. He chose to buy an un-economical car, without thinking it through, and now he wants best of both worlds and you're left with crappy car!

I'd be annoyed.

DP and I have our own cars. We are insured to drive each other's car, but generally don't do so.

Mine is a smaller car, just enough to get myself and the 2 DCs around, and we use his as the family car when all out together.

I hate it if he drives my car, because if the seat gets adjusted it'll take me ages to get it just right again. And if the seat is wrong, it can cause a lot of pain in my shoulder (I had tendonitis in the shoulder a few years ago, caused, I suspect, by a badly positioned car seat).

And the stuuf I have in the car is specific to me, eg spare glasses, cds, etc and it's not always convenient to swap stuff around.

INeverSaidThat Fri 22-Mar-13 09:10:25

I like driving my own car too. (Even though my DH's is a 'better' car).

I think you just have to suck it up though sad.

JourneyThroughLife Fri 22-Mar-13 09:10:27

I'm with you Teggie on this one. My car is MY car. No-one drives it. I adore my car. When I was married my husband was the same with his car, he wouldn't dream of letting me drive it and he didn't take mine. We were both happy with that and that's how we chose to operate, it worked for us. It also prevented the feelings you're having now. I suggest you keep your car for yourself, and if your DP's car isn't suitable for his curent needs, he sells it and gets a different one. Sorted...

melika Fri 22-Mar-13 09:14:27

BTW I love big cars and have driven all sorts in the past, it doesn't bother me. I am not a little wifey who doesn't like big cars. But as I said it's his problem.

LadyFlumpalot Fri 22-Mar-13 09:22:27

I'm the opposite OP. I loathe my stupid little "sensible" car with a passion and would happily leave it with the engine running and alone at night in the hope it would get nicked. Only, I can't drive it anyway as its broken and SORNed.

I absolutely adore DH's huge petrol guzzling 2.5l v6 Mitsubishi and steal it at every available opportunity. The exhaust note alone gives me a case of the wibbles.

It's not good in the snow (or rain, or mildly damp weather) at all though.

P.S, I'm with you on the living in the back end of nowhere. There is one bus a week here and no pavements on the busy 60mph main road that links us to the nearest town, 6 miles away.

stargirl1701 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:26:59

Oh, I hear you. I love my car but HATE DH's. It's a hulking big Nissan Navarra and mine is a dinky Fiesta ST. His is like driving a bloody tractor. Hate it, hate it, hate it!

pictish Fri 22-Mar-13 09:28:27


The fact is, he should sell his car and buy a more suitable one.
You deliberately chose the car you did, to serve your needs. His circumstances have changed and now he needs a car more like yours...that does not, to me, automatically equate that he just gets yours, and you end up with something you don't want and didn't choose.

Seems unfair to me!

differentnameforthis Fri 22-Mar-13 09:29:32

We have 2 cars. One is a company car (dh's) and one is my (officially the family) car. When I pop out & dh is in, I use his car (company petrol). When I do my weekend job I take his car (I am insured on it & his boss knows I use it a lot & doesn't mind). Saves on fuel & messing around with car seats.

I can't get too emotional about a car, tbh.

CooEeeEldridge Fri 22-Mar-13 09:33:38

You're refusing to go out because you 'don't like' to drive his car? YABU.

GoSuckEggs Fri 22-Mar-13 09:49:37

ssd - you are coming across as very bitter. SO WHAT she has 2 cars?! I hate it when people come on to a thread not about money and then try and make it about money! FFS boo fecking hoo

I wish we had two cars. It would make my life easier occasionally.

But we dont, we have a family car, and dh has a motorbike for work. Excellent fuel economy. Much cheaper to run. And faster for him!
Dh goes to lots of business meetings. He arrives wearing leathers, and changes into a suit. Birmingham on Monday, Germany on Wednesday, parking in airports are free if you have a motorbike. Parking is generally free with a motorbike.

Could your dh consider exchanging the big tractor for a motorbike?

And now that he has wired his motorbiking jacket with heated wires and connected to the battery of the bike, he is even warm when driving, and I have one more thing to worry about!

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 22-Mar-13 09:58:01

I think Taggie is being lighthearted here you know.
I don't drive, but I'm very possessive and petty about MY stuff.
I hate it if someone drinks from MY mug, or reads MY Sunday paper before me, or God Forbid they sit in MY spotgrin
I'm now divorced so these things don't really affect me too much any more, ds abides by my rules as I've brought him up right.

I think op is cranky because she is ill and she has hurt her back, and hates driving his clunky big old car without power-steering. Not great if your back is hurting.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 22-Mar-13 10:01:30


I love my car.

However - seems like it makes sense for him to use yours for the moment. Is it possible to change his to something more economical and then you can have yours back?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 22-Mar-13 10:03:38

BTW - well done your DH on getting a new job pretty quickly, I remember your post when he was made redundant.

everlong Fri 22-Mar-13 10:07:14

I get you. My car is my car. I'd rather drive my own, but wouldn't stop my day by not driving dh's car.

What's up with his car? Too big?

Airwalk79 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:07:16

We have to share a car. If I want/need the car on a day that dh Is at work we all have to get up at 530, pack the kids in and drop him off, then we have to keep the kids up and pick him up at 8 pm.
It's crap if you've got nothing better to worry about, but really!
I would love to have two cars, in fact anything that got us around would be ace.
When your a family do you not work as a team to achieve the best you can for all of you, and think of the money your saving that can go towards something for your family?

akaemmafrost Fri 22-Mar-13 10:08:45

Yes it's a first world problem etc but I'd be pissed off too OP.

Iaintdunnuffink Fri 22-Mar-13 10:09:01

It does make sense for him to drive the smaller car. I was a sahm for 8 years and always had the big car, I was the one who needed the space and day to day didn't do so many miles. I'm working now and still have an estate as my miles are shorter and due to my hours I'm still more likely to do the pick ups. My husband has the small, cheap run around that usually only gets used for commuting. It probably won't take you long to get used to a larger car.

Even though we say my car and his car, actually they're both family cars. Still I don't like driving HIS car. It's fun to drive seeing as its so small and like a go-cart but it does t have all my stuff in it, it's filthy and not clean like mine. The clutch biting point is completely different, then I have to remember where the lights, indicators and windscreen wipers are. It's so much more relaxing to drive a car that you know.

LtEveDallas Fri 22-Mar-13 10:14:22

Off topic but

Quint And now that he has wired his motorbiking jacket with heated wires and connected to the battery of the bike, he is even warm when driving, and I have one more thing to worry about

What? Really? I didn't even know this was possible shock. Won't he get electrocuted in the rain?

Sometimes, when you are always 'mum' or 'wife' or whatever, it's nice to have something that is just yours for you.

It might be a lovely big thing like a car, it might be a little thing like a favourite mug... But it's the feeling that you are not an add on, but still a teeny bit of your own person. Everyone knows its polite and correct to share. Everyone sometimes wants to throw a toddler tantrum and snatch back the shared item, because its yours, for you.

I might not be making much sense because I have sinussy yuck ness that I self medicated with lots of wine last night.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Fri 22-Mar-13 10:18:39

You have my sympathy. Fortunately, DH's Big Man Car is more economical than my little car, so I only have to drive it when more Big Men need fetching from the pub than will fit comfortably in mine. It's a nice car, but all the controls are in the wrong place and it's tuned to the wrong radio station.

HelgatheHairy Fri 22-Mar-13 10:22:39

teggie similar situation to DH and I. But on your days off couldn't he take his car just for that one day? That's what DH and I do. He generally has my car but there are certain days when I want it so he takes his on those days.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 10:25:49

Ooooh. The lovely sympathy is lovely. thanks

I know it's a ridiculous and pathetic 'problem'. Really. I'm over it now. It was too early for me to be rational.

I'm considering wiring my house-cardigan in to the mains to warm me up a bit.

Owllady Fri 22-Mar-13 10:26:09

what you need is a shetland pony and a trap
that's what happened in my day you ungrateful woman


or a unicorn, either would suffice

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 10:29:14

Hmmm. I wonder if I'd have to pay to park a pony at work......

I don't have a car. <daily mail sad face>

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 10:37:31

Can I be unreasonable about how cold I am?

It isn't even snowing here.

eminemmerdale Fri 22-Mar-13 10:39:29

I've turned into spoilt wifey today as well. we have 2 cars - both tiny - one micra, 12 years old (MINE!) and a fiesta, 10 years old (given to us) Dh drives fiesta I drive mine. Although, we tend to share dependant on which has the most petrol in it! Dh's is broke sad and we can't afford to get it fixed till next week so he's using mine, which is making me unreasonably outraged as I can't just jump into mine on my day off and tootle about. It's a ridiculous 'problem' but I just almost cried at the thought of 'only' having one car blush

eminemmerdale Fri 22-Mar-13 10:40:28

And I've got two men in my kitchen fixing the boiler and it's freezing and I can't do 'stuff' in my own house without feeling self-conscious

Pigsmummy Fri 22-Mar-13 10:40:45

It doesn't mean that you can't go out though does it? I know that you are feeling poorly (sorry for yourself) but you do have have access to a fully functioning car that you can drive.

When we had two cars I used to favour mine, they were different cars but in the end I just drove which ever was on the road rather than moving the other off the drive. The more that you drive it the less of an issue it will be.

KansasCityOctopus Fri 22-Mar-13 10:45:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 10:49:58

The 'now i can't go out' whinge was more a
'if he's taken my motor to save money then there's no point if I'm going to go out and use more petrol than he would have in the first place' whinge.

Not an 'i can't go out at all' whinge.

I could. But that would be frivolous and expensive rather than a necessity.

Anyway. I am now a hypothermic frozen lump and too cold to go out.

everlong Fri 22-Mar-13 10:55:29

What's actually up with his car?

BarredfromhavingStella Fri 22-Mar-13 11:02:59

I love DH car so wouldn't find this a problem grin

lottieandmia Fri 22-Mar-13 11:06:55

I think YAB a bit U because presumably he took this other job to benefit all of you? I think when you're married you work as a team even if it means having to juggle around the resources you have.

LtEveDallas - It is a diy job, and he bloody well not!

MansView Fri 22-Mar-13 14:56:07

RE: - what I suggest is stop moaning and be glad your dh got a new job and you've still got 2 cars, plenty of us manage living in the back of beyond working shifts with one driving the car and the other cycling/busing it

you are coming across as really annoying


Madratlady Fri 22-Mar-13 15:10:54

YABU. We live in a village with an almost non existent bus service and only one car. We both have to go out of our way to share the car and both get to the places we needs to be. On my days off or on evenings when DH is out I'm stuck in the house. I'd love to have the luxury of a second car.

DIYapprentice Fri 22-Mar-13 15:13:07


I really, really don't like driving DH's car - it's like a lounge suite on wheels, and uses lots of fuel.

He hates driving my car - calls it 'the bus' (it's a 7 seater, but not one of the smaller ones).

I chose my car, I looked at lots and lots and lots of cars, and my car is MY car.

ArtemisKinderSurprise Fri 22-Mar-13 15:33:21

Totally with you. I don't like DH's car at all, it's too low down, the driving position is awful and its a lot longer than mine. I can drive it, I just choose not too. I have a Xsara Picasso and its not a particularly tiny car but its comfy, is a lot higher up, visibility is loads better and it's mine.

I'm only fussy about him using my car, anything else is fine except my trainers, we're the same shoe size and he occasionally nicks them

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 15:46:43


RTFT you nob

........ this

CherylTrole Fri 22-Mar-13 15:59:53

I agree with ssd and Mansview, although I would not use the word annoying, extremely moany perhaps would be more applicable.

DIYapprentice Fri 22-Mar-13 16:18:42

I'm not going to apologise for being possessive about my car and hating it if DH drives mine and I have to drive his - just because other people only have 1 car or no car.! Sod that!!! I worked hard for my car - and while I can afford it I will be as possessive of it as I bloody well like.

BellaVita Fri 22-Mar-13 16:20:53

OP I agree with you.

Although DH bought my car for me - paid for it outright, it is still "my car". I feel very protective of it grin

He his going to change his car soon and I said to him I think maybe you need to wait until after Leeds Fest (he is taking DS1) as it is usually so muddy and the weather crap on this particular weekend i can envisage your new car getting stuck in a boggy field... His answer was - "well your car will be nearly a year old then so I will take yours and leave my new one at home". Not bloody likely matey!

My car = mine. End of.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 16:40:19

It's extraordinary how many people think having 2 cars is a luxury. How the actual flip am I suppised to get to work? Really? I'm open to suggestions. Wings? Teleport?

Would you prefer it if I or DH gave up our jobs and claimed some benefits?

At least I'd get a goat. painkillers worn off snd feeling extremelty grouchy again

BellaVita Fri 22-Mar-13 16:42:56

We live in the back of beyond too. Definitely need two cars.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 16:54:07

2 x tax

2 x insurance

2 x fuel costs.

2 x MOTs and repairs

I think I'd rather be able to walk to work. Or be able to jump on a bus or train.

Not a bloody luxury.

Shesparkles people like you piss me off. Why do I have to drive a Bigger car to be worthy of driving? Why does that make me a shit woman if I am happy driving my little granny car? I don't want to drive a bigger car. I'm lucky I'm in a car at all as I've worked bloody hard to get over a phobia of driving where the thought of getting behind the wheel left me shaking, sweating and sick as a dog. So no I won't drive a bigger car just to satisfy Any weird not even remotely feminist rant you wanna go on.
I like my granny car.
And fwiw I'm a good safe driver, I dont hesitate at roundabouts and I can park quite well. And I'm proud that I can do it cos it took a long time. So piss off.

2kidsintow Fri 22-Mar-13 17:04:45

Can't happen in my house. OH can only drive an automatic car. He didn't care about me finding an automatic when I replaced my car recently, so have another manual.

I can drive his car (but wouldn't want to as it is a monster of a decrepid landrover) but he can't drive mine.


CherylTrole Fri 22-Mar-13 17:10:02

Its all me me me me on this thread.

Nirvana1999 Fri 22-Mar-13 17:12:30

LTB, in fact drive over the bastard... In his own shitty car.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 17:14:21

It's my thread. Of course it's all about me. What would be the point otherwise?

HoppinMad Fri 22-Mar-13 17:18:58

Your dh should sell his car and get a more economically cheaper to run car.

apostropheuse Fri 22-Mar-13 17:35:40

Why are people so caught up by the fact the OP's have two cars? They need two because of their personal circumstances. However, even if they didn't actually need two it's still their decision to make as to how many cars they own.

If they can afford them it's nobody else's business how many they have.

BellaVita Fri 22-Mar-13 17:38:22

'Cos they are well jel...

I hate driving OHs car too, it's big and dirty and smells. We've actually got 4 cars between the two of us at the moment and I'm pissed off that he's let a customer borrow one of my cars even though I'm not driving it at the moment. (Just thought I'd help you out OP as i think yanbu and as a disgusting greedy owner of four cars, they will all want to chuck rocks at me now instead)

Bogeyface Fri 22-Mar-13 18:12:56

"I dont have a car therefore no one else should. YABU because I a petty minded jealous person who hates the thought that someone else has something I dont"

Grow up.

lottiegarbanzo Fri 22-Mar-13 18:26:00

My irrelevantly practical suggestion is your DH trades in his car for something more efficient and, once a year when you need to, you hire a lovely big, nearly new, far better than you'd want to buy car. I love hire cars.

everlong Fri 22-Mar-13 18:46:02

Cheryl that's comical!

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 18:52:35

Mood has slipped a notch or 7 further.

I am now excessively grumpy. The dog keeps barking. The cat has missed the litter tray and shit on the floor. It is so cold my feet have fallen off and i can't even drink gin as i have to collect a teenager from a party later. In my car. Because there is no fucking public transport in this shithole.

apostropheuse Fri 22-Mar-13 18:54:39

Well at least you haven't let it affect your mood Teggie

I truly admire your stoicism in times of stress.


NoelHeadbands Fri 22-Mar-13 19:00:00

See this glass OP?


Would you describe it as half full or half empty do you think...?


Maat Fri 22-Mar-13 19:00:25

You need a pink car with eyelashes and a "powered by fairydust" sign.


FeijoaVodkaAndCheezels Fri 22-Mar-13 19:01:17

If you are so ill why on earth would you want to go and snuggle a baby?

DIYapprentice Fri 22-Mar-13 19:02:08

I vote for gin and sending a taxi for the teenager!! grin

Trumpton Fri 22-Mar-13 19:07:16


I had to drive DHs car today as he drove my granny car to the garage. He has had it 3 years and its the first time I have driven it as I don't like it . Too big and too expensive . I would rather drive my well dinged 10 year old wagon.

Stoic to the bitter end.

Trumpton Fri 22-Mar-13 19:08:31

grin@apostropheuse .!!

eminemmerdale Fri 22-Mar-13 19:08:38

oooh, we used to have three cars, and only two of us drivers and all <wins>

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 19:11:45

Taxi???? HA!!! Not unless you book 3 years in Advance.

My snot is no longer at the contageous stage. Just the lingering annoying stage. I wouldn't snuggle said baby if it was the catching stage.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 19:12:58

I'm going to paint it pink. (the car not the baby). That is a genius idea.

Trumpton Fri 22-Mar-13 19:13:33

Well we have 3 cars but I didn't like to brag . ( car number 3 is classic car and only comes out on high days and holidays << digs hole and climbs in >> )

And I don't drive that one either as its too much like hard work !

ssd Fri 22-Mar-13 19:21:06

ok op I get it now...hope your starting to feel better! smile

ssd Fri 22-Mar-13 19:22:11

and yes, I am bitter and jealous!!

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 19:24:26

I am also bitter and jealous of thin people, rich people, organised people, artists, musicians, cats and kelly brook.

ssd Fri 22-Mar-13 19:25:46

me too grin

timidviper Fri 22-Mar-13 19:26:55

Taggie Read this thread. It has the answer to your prayers, just take up crochet!

Hmm what happened to the angry mob? Would it help if I said that one of our four cars between two drivers is a very thirsty sports car (mine) and that another is a 4x4 (his)? SURELY that's worthy of a bit if self righteous indignation and judgyness?

Maat Fri 22-Mar-13 19:37:15

Other people use my bus!! shock

(doesn't drive but wants to join in)

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 19:47:09

Purple shock <<shakes head sadly>>

I know, it's SHOCKING was hoping for a bit of a fight tbh, pregnant, tired, pelvic girdle pain, OH still at work as per bloody usual, could have done with someone to shout at grin

sherazade Fri 22-Mar-13 19:58:01


A car each is a necesdity not a luxury.
And even if it were a luxury, so what? Are people with luxuries not entitled to be annoyed? I don't get all the bitterness on this thread. You picked and paid for it and now you don't get to enjoy your own car. How annoying for you.

Teggie, you are really funny when you are grumpy. You can be my neighbour. We would be like Father Ted and that other bloke together.

lljkk Fri 22-Mar-13 20:12:20

yanbu, I feel your pain. I bought small car because I wanted small car & I could see DH needing it more than I do. I lurve my car & grimace when DH borrows it (much logical sense as it makes).

rhondajean Fri 22-Mar-13 20:16:34

I hate driving DHs car as well.

I see the perennial Mumsnet favourite game of Competitive Poverty is alive and well.....

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 20:29:26

Picking child up at 9.

Then cracking open the red.

Still in a mood. DH is getting right on my tits.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 21:12:35



ssd Fri 22-Mar-13 21:18:22

grin is that better

and to all the pissy "I see the perennial Mumsnet favourite game of Competitive Poverty is alive and well...." comments, well its because we're bloody jealous, it isnt rocket science, is it.... when you spend your days organizing 2 jobs/2 kids with busy social lives around one car then someone moans that their dh is driving their car, of course we're jealous...and bitter and twisted too!!

think I need some wine too!!

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 21:27:37

wine for ssd.

You can have my second car if you like. But you have to have the H too.

ssd Fri 22-Mar-13 21:39:49

god no teggie, one pita man is enough for me!!

Andro Fri 22-Mar-13 22:25:41

My DH hates driving my car (and it's not a small car either), he just wouldn't take it unless it was an absolute emergency (his car broken down and not enough time to arrange hire/courtesy car etc).
I don't mind driving his, but I do prefer mine.

Bluelightsandsirens Fri 22-Mar-13 22:44:59

Teggie i hope you are feeling a bit better. I was a bit shock at the replies to your thread but envy can be a funny thing.

DH hates driving my car but that's because his is a company car so spanking new reg every 3 months, I don't like driving his because its not mine and iLife mine.

We have had our home broken into at night 3 times now purely for the keys to his spanking new Merc on the drive, I have woken to masked men in my house twice.

I doubt there is much envy there now?

ssd, Mumsnet is full of things I'm jealous of: nannies, big houses, holidays... But people have what they have, they still have problems, and responding with "your problem is irrelevant because my life is worse" just makes you look, as you so rightly said, bitter and twisted, and doesn't contribute in any positive way. So why bother?

WafflyVersatile Fri 22-Mar-13 23:47:45

Assuming he's intending on keeping this job he needs to get a more suitable car.

ssd Sat 23-Mar-13 09:38:50

oh lighten up Annie

Lifeisontheup Sat 23-Mar-13 09:57:26

If you work shifts it doesn't matter where you live, if it's more than walking distance from work you need a car. My shift last night finished at 3.00am, try getting any public transport at that time of night unless you work in central London.

FeistyLass Sat 23-Mar-13 10:45:58

I hate when dh takes my car. Not because I don't like driving his but because my car is packed with emergency snacks, sweets, drinks, blankets, gloves, suntan lotion, books, make up, perfume,etc. I'm prepared for anything in my car. When I'm driving dh's car, I have to make do with the smell of polish and nothing else . . .not even a teeny tiny sweet. sad

gallifrey Sat 23-Mar-13 20:58:54

this happened to me a few years ago only my car was tiny and old and dh's car was lovely and new and faster than mine! I think I got the better end of the deal tbh, poor dh had to drive a citroen ax!

cjel Sat 23-Mar-13 22:18:23

Pass the wine to Annie. I used to like driving my little car and felt silly in great big monster DH had, but he used to like taking my little car sometimes as it was 'fun' to drive. Angry doesn't cover it!!! Hope the wines working!!

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