AIBU to want to share with you that I am proud of myself??

(63 Posts)
BusyHomemaker Wed 20-Mar-13 21:30:39

I recently left my abusive husband. I have been constantly questioning myself... have I done the right thing? Am I at fault? Is his behaviour really just down to depression? Will he change?

I don't possess a vacuum cleaner or a washing machine and I sleep on a borrowed inflatable mattress. My daughter has been peacefully sleeping in her cot since 7:30pm, my dog is snoozing on the (donated) sofa and it has just dawned on me that I am sat here, doing what I want to do, listening to a radio station that I have chosen (as I no longer possess CDs or itunes)! Nobody has switched it off and turned on the TV or played their guitar or both at the same time!!!! I honestly can't remember the last time I have selected my own music in the evening!

Just wanted to share! I think we're going to be OK smile

suebfg Wed 20-Mar-13 21:32:12


suebfg Wed 20-Mar-13 21:32:29

smile YANBU

Isityouorme Wed 20-Mar-13 21:32:59

Well done for taking this stand, huge pat on the back for you!

CabbageLeaves Wed 20-Mar-13 21:33:06

You will be fine smile

LizzieVereker Wed 20-Mar-13 21:33:36

I'm proud of you too, Busy thanks. You have made a content and happy home for your little family. Here's to many more peaceful evenings!

Stixswhichtwizzle Wed 20-Mar-13 21:34:02

YANBU! Well done for being brave enough to take action. You'll be great!

N0tinmylife Wed 20-Mar-13 21:34:22

YANBU! Well done you!

OpheliasWeepingWillow Wed 20-Mar-13 21:34:54


StuntGirl Wed 20-Mar-13 21:35:00

You'll be better than OK smile thanks

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Mar-13 21:36:40

YANBU that must be a huge relief.

Since you've managed to get an internet connection, why not sign up to Freecycle and see if you can get a vacuum cleaner/washing machine etc?

INeedThatForkOff Wed 20-Mar-13 21:36:48

Wow, you make circumstances that many of us would moan about sound like heaven. Really well done, and it can only get better from here smile

TheEasterQODdy Wed 20-Mar-13 21:37:18

Well done!

DevonCiderPunk Wed 20-Mar-13 21:37:53


in fact YAB bloody marvellous. All power to you smile

Shellywelly1973 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:38:00

You've done the hardest bit, you left!

You will be absolutely brilliant-you are a strong & capable women. Well done!

HollyBerryBush Wed 20-Mar-13 21:38:55

Sometimes, the simple things in life really do give the most satisfaction.

Well done you, for finding peace within yourself and your life

IsItMeBU Wed 20-Mar-13 21:39:05

Wow ! You have every right to be proud of yourself! Well done

aldiwhore Wed 20-Mar-13 21:39:35

Well done you, really and truly.

And thank you for posting this, it's important to hear what happens AFTER leaving.

You are going to be okay. x

(Oh and what *worra& said re: Freecycle)

Kyrptonite Wed 20-Mar-13 21:40:18

Where are you OP? If you're anywhere near Northamptonshire I have a spare Hoover you can have.

SucksToBeMe Wed 20-Mar-13 21:41:07

smile I'm proud of you too! You DD is lucky to have you!

Smartiepants79 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:41:20

Hurrah! Stuff can be replaced. You are safe and happy.
Good luck.
Definitely try freecycle. It is great.

blackeyedsusan Wed 20-Mar-13 21:43:08

i have tesco club card. never use it much, but i have it because I can.

well done. and yay. brilliant isn't it!

BusyHomemaker Wed 20-Mar-13 21:47:09

Thanks for all your lovely messages of support. It really does feel marvelous! And yes, I have just joined Freecycle! Thank you for the suggestions Worra and aldi smile Not near Northamptonshire Kyrptonite but thank you for your offer x

HerrenaHarridan Wed 20-Mar-13 21:49:09

Hooray for you!

Yy to freecycle, also gumtree amd preloved have freebies sections.

Whereabouts in the country are you, I have about enough bedding to keep Russia warm in winter. Also lots of under 1s clothes and kitchen tat.

Pm if your interested smile

Congratulations on your new life!

HerrenaHarridan Wed 20-Mar-13 21:49:42

Oh meant to say am Edinburgh/ Lothian smile

Floggingmolly Wed 20-Mar-13 21:51:25

Go girl!

BusyHomemaker Wed 20-Mar-13 21:58:30

Herrena I'm in England but thank you! Judging by the weather forecast you may need all of that extra bedding!!

HerrenaHarridan Wed 20-Mar-13 22:14:04

Ha! Your not joking.

in all seriousness I would suffocate if I used it all.

At an estimate I would guess ten duvets, varying from a thin summer one to two monster Nordic ones. 3 single and one double sleeping bag, 10 thick quilts, 5 of those old style woollen blankets and 7 fleecey blankets. Not including dds bedding! I'm a hoarder

There is only me and dd blush

Fwiw. I am loving being a lone parent, we are 4 months in and even at the lowest and most difficult times I have not regretted it.

If your partner is a lead weight it really is easier by yourself!

See you in lone parents section smile

LiveItUp Wed 20-Mar-13 22:22:29

You sound very content. Thank you for sharing - def NBU! Keep being proud, turn that music up and dance around that sofa. smile

How old is your dd? I will soon have some aged 3 to 4 ish clothes to,pass on. Plus some books and toys. Pm if you fancy them! Am in the east.

And ps well done for being so brave.

BrawToken Wed 20-Mar-13 22:38:35

OMG, just what I need to hear tonight. P has just announced he has a date to move in 2 weeks (if he isn't bullshitting me again) and I am so weirdly deflated about it even though I want it... Congratulations to you x

RoomForASmallOne Wed 20-Mar-13 22:44:08


pod3030 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:47:28

Big hoorah from me too! smile

AlbertoFrog Wed 20-Mar-13 22:53:17

YA so NBU. Darn right you should be proud of yourself.

Well done and good luck for the future.


fengirl1 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:57:20

Yes, no and no! Good for you. smile

SomethingOnce Wed 20-Mar-13 23:06:29

I don't know your story, but I'll bet this is one of the hardest, bravest and best things you'll ever do.

Well done and all the very best with everything flowers

PipsWife Wed 20-Mar-13 23:08:14

Go you!


Well done OP how lovely to hear you are enjoying your peace!

Herena, if you want rid of that bedding your local homeless shelter or dog rescue might be glad of them?

OpheliaBumps Wed 20-Mar-13 23:14:02

I've pm'd too, I have outgrown toys/clothes up to 3 years, happy to pass them on. Also have bedding & duvet if you're in then north west.

OpheliaBumps Wed 20-Mar-13 23:15:34

Ps missed the most important bit! Well done, you deserve to be proud, you've done a fantastic thing for you and your DD.

oldnewmummy Wed 20-Mar-13 23:16:27

Good for you.

poppymagnum Wed 20-Mar-13 23:18:13

What a lovely thread and what an amazing Mum you are.

I hope your future will be full of happiness. thanks

jennybeadle Wed 20-Mar-13 23:18:52

flowers to put beside your bed. smile

SE13Mummy Wed 20-Mar-13 23:19:49

Well done!
If you're anywhere near SE13 then I have a washing machine you'd be very welcome to.

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 23:26:21

Well done that is fantastic flowers wine

makemineapinot Wed 20-Mar-13 23:26:52

Well done you! That feeling f liberation is so empowering! So pleased for you! Take advice and ask around for what you're entitled to and good luck! 5 years on and I am now qualified and working in the profession I've always wanted to work in, have 2 beautiful happy children and he (and associated stress) is a distant memory! You enjoy the future! There will be hard times, lonely times and frustrating times but you get to make the decisions that are right for both of you and that is worth so much -and you'll be happy and safe x

DoJo Wed 20-Mar-13 23:30:15

Well done - you sound as though you are revelling in your new fond freedom and so you should. PM me if you're in East Anglia - sure I can find something useful to help with your journey, even if it's just a packet of chocolate fingers and info about free things to do with a littlie.

BertieBotts Wed 20-Mar-13 23:32:32

You are fantastic smile As the offers are flying around, give me a shout if you're in Warwickshire (although I suppose unlikely as that is somewhere near Northamptonshire...) I'm emigrating later this year and have loads of stuff which needs a good home.

BertieBotts Wed 20-Mar-13 23:33:42

And it's the best feeling in the world isn't it? grin Onwards and upwards! Yep, that's right, it can even get better!! And it does!!

OkayHazel Thu 21-Mar-13 02:21:52

Congratulations OP! Here's to a happy rest of your life!

ekidna Thu 21-Mar-13 02:44:58


Ladyhawke127 Thu 21-Mar-13 08:37:50

Well done, love! You are amazing, and exceptionally brave! Onwards and upwards!

Ladyhawke127 Thu 21-Mar-13 08:41:08

I have a tv you can have if you like? It is not brilliant, and it is an older type flat screen, but you would be welcome to it. I am in west Lothian. I havnt anything useful, unfortunately.

Limelight Thu 21-Mar-13 08:47:10

OP You're amazing! And everyone here is gobsmackingly proud of you.

Clearly we all want to give you stuff too! If you're in South East London or need anything postable - just shout! x

livinginwonderland Thu 21-Mar-13 08:51:15

yay! this thread makes me happy, well done OP! smile

Sarahplane Thu 21-Mar-13 09:06:37

you should be proud of yourself. well done you.

alcazar Thu 21-Mar-13 09:12:06

You are amazing. I am crying blush. You will be ok and happier and your daughter will thank you for it when she is older. The best thing my mum ever did was leave my dad. You are free now smile.

bedmonster Thu 21-Mar-13 09:54:40

Wooooooo!!!! Go Busy!! You are inspiring smile

SassySask Thu 21-Mar-13 10:49:39

What a lovely thread to read on a morning smile

melrose Thu 21-Mar-13 10:55:44

Well done darling, you have every right to feel proud and have made me cry into my cup of tea!

ohmentalnessisme Thu 21-Mar-13 10:58:28

Yanbu, it sounds like you have a lot to be proud of and a bright future to look forward to smile

Tolly81 Thu 21-Mar-13 11:07:58

Good on you OP! Well done smile

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