to expect people not to park in Spaces for the disabled if they are not using them for the benefit of the Blue Badge holder?

(89 Posts)

Alopogies in advance, but this has really disappointed me and I want a unanimous AIBU as I know I am right.

At the Post Office earlier I saw I man I know park in the disabled bay nearest the shop and pop the blue badge on the dashboard. His passenger then got out and whizzed into the shop.

Surely the badge is there for the man to use when he gets out the car to make access easier for him. He could park further away or drop her off?

I just am so disappointed that someone with experience of the difficulties getting around would take up a spaxe which could be needed by someone less able.

AIBU to be saddened by his lack of consideration?

Paintingrainbowskies Wed 20-Mar-13 21:27:34

So the blue bag holder stayed in the car?

If so YANBU, my Gran has a blue badge and I was under the impression that she can't stay in the car if we are parked using the badge.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Mar-13 21:27:58

You are right. That is taking the piss. BUT you will be told that you have no idea whether the passenger is the Blue Badge Holder with an unseen disability.

If the Badge Holder was the driver YANBU.

Molehillmountain Wed 20-Mar-13 21:28:34

I don't begrudge him if he is the carer even though technically he's breaking the rules. Tough gig, caring, and if being able to pop to shop a bit quicker eased his day then good for him. If it was really quick then the space would be available again very soon

HollyBerryBush Wed 20-Mar-13 21:29:29

Unless you tell us why the man is disabled you don't know why he parked there - maybe the passenger ran in to get him a lucozade before he went into a diabetic coma, maybe not. maybe the passenger was running an errand for the car driver.

Any which way, he was legally parked so I don't think I could get all upset about it.

See, I know that blue badges can be used while on errands for the holder, I just would have assumed that when the Blue badge holders are not using them to make life that tiny bit easiier for themsleves, that they would think "oh, I don;t really need that space right next to the door, I'll leave it for someone who may need it as I know what a pain it is to have to struggle".

But maybe I am naive.

StarsAreFire Wed 20-Mar-13 21:30:19

Have my first biscuit

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Mar-13 21:31:24

What happened before they invented Blue Badge spaces?

fouranddone Wed 20-Mar-13 21:32:28

A parking thread, posted in aibu on a boring Wednesday night. Hahahahahagrin

If he was doing it so that he could get something vital from the shop and get the disabled person home again quickly, then I think it is morally acceptable. But if it didn't speed the shpping up particularly, or the disabled person had no real need for his to rush, then you're right.

Pickles101 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:33:05

Did you need the disabled space? If not, YABU.
You don't get to judge each situation as to whether it's worthy to use a blue badge. The passenger was given a blue badge. That's it. You don't get a say in how it is used.

biscuit

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Mar-13 21:33:18

If it was the only disabled parking spot available then YANBU.

If there were others, then YABU and a bit picky.

MooMooSkit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:33:43

Yeah I would be. My Dad owns a blue badge for his car for ferrying my Nan around but he doesn't use it if my Nan isn't with her.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Mar-13 21:34:50

There is one Blue Badge space at our local Tesco Express. Or the 'nipping in I will only be a minute and don't hold a Blue Badge space' as it may as well be called. sad

2 Disabled spaces, but the way they are set out, the second one is najorly more inconvenient.

Why the biscuit? Seriously, why?

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Mar-13 21:38:59

Because it's AIBU innit? People like to throw biscuits about on a Disabled bay parking thread.

nokidshere Wed 20-Mar-13 21:39:19

The badge should not be used if the person who holds it is,still in the car. I use one for my MIL she doesn't drive but can't get about without me. She cannot be left In the car whilst I run errands for her - its for me to park closer to where she needs to be.

Yup, SparklingB, without engaging a smidgeon of sense. sad

nokids, that's interesting, thanks.

"You don't get to judge each situation as to whether it's worthy to use a blue badge. The passenger was given a blue badge. That's it. You don't get a say in how it is used."

I'm not asking for a say in how it may be used. hmm

I'm expressing my surprise that someone with a disablity would do something that would potentially inconvenience another perosn with a disability.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Mar-13 21:43:38

I think it's a bit 'ooh a Blue Badge parking thread' I will give a biscuit because the Op is bound to be BU, even if they aren't CTR. Tis the MN way.

Confused. The driver was the blue badge holder surely?

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Mar-13 21:44:27

Well can you kindly stop noticing things CTR? Just walk round with your eyes shut. wink

HollyBerry, the passenger went in with a parcel, came back out with a newspaper. I guess somesort af sugary item could have been in the pocket for diabetic relief (if that makes sense), but as far as I'm aware the driver isn;t diabetic.

Yup, SPB, he's a Blue badge holder. As far as I am awar e, the passenger isn't.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Mar-13 21:45:32

There's every chance that as there was already another space available, he would have moved his car should two disabled people drive up at once.

Hah, SparklingB, I already said I am right! grin

chickydoo Wed 20-Mar-13 21:46:09

About 2 years ago I watched a very very famous footballer (ex) pull in to a disabled space, he got out & picked up some things from dry cleaners then drove away!
I also have a friend who used to need a disabled badge due to having had lots of surgery & illness & was always tired. She is now thankfully well, does a lot of sport, runs etc, drives a sports car, no illness in years. Met her for lunch, on the way back to my car I saw her car in a disabled space, then saw the disabled badge. I have no idea how she can get away with it. She walks well, eats well & is always busy, no mention of feeling unwell. I think she is pulling a fast one somewhere along the line.

"I'm expressing my surprise that someone with a disablity would do something that would potentially inconvenience another perosn with a disability."
Some people are selfish! Yanbu but I'm sure by the end of the thread there will be one hundred different scanrios necessitating the passenger being dropped as close to the shop as possible.

specialsubject Wed 20-Mar-13 21:46:26

oops, I got this one wrong then. Took badged MIL shopping, used disabled space so she could get into supermarket easily - I did my shopping as well, we sync up if we can as it obviously makes sense. She then asked me to do a quick errand for her from another shop, by this time she was tired so I let her back into the car, (warm place to sit down) put her shopping in and dashed off to do the errand. Back five minutes later and off we went.

It never occurred to me that I broke the rules!

True, WorraL, true.

smile

Blue badges are for mobility related disability though, so it's unlikely that a blue badge holder would have a hidden disability (the exception is higher lever DLA and various war veteran pensions).

Pickles101 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:47:21

"I'm expressing my surprise that someone with a disablity would do something that would potentially inconvenience another perosn with a disability."

Fair enough, but having a disability doesn't necessarily make you a nice or considerate person.

I gave a biscuit because it's a non-issue and it didn't affect you at all apart from 'surprise' hmm

fluffyraggies Wed 20-Mar-13 21:47:38

DM got her blue badge this week. She doesn't drive, so it will mainly be used in my car for when i'm driving her about. We used it for the first time yesterday in Tesco ... as i pulled into the disabled space i thought of all the parking threads on MN and felt very self conscious.

In the past she's often pointed out folk without a visible disability who have left their car in a disabled space and gone into the shop.

When her blue badge arrived DM cheerfully said i could use it now whenever i needed to park at the local hospital (without her) as it means free parking shock

I told her 'NO - i wont be doing that thanks mum' hmm Double standards there methinks .....

OloeufiaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Mar-13 21:48:58

PEACE AND LOVE

Yeah, I guess there's a similar proportion of arses in peopele with disabilities as the proportion in people without disabilities, Stealthy.

sigh.

Just disappointed.

But as WorraL said, he'd probably move if someone needed it more than him. [hopeful]

WestieMamma Wed 20-Mar-13 21:49:33

My husband does this all the time. Parks in the disabled bay and pops the badge on the dashboard while I nip into the shop. I'm the badge holder, he's the driver. I get sick of complete strangers having a go at me for doing so and expecting me to explain my condition and circumstances to them. What the fuck gives them the right? angry

Pickles101 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:50:00

The way to avoid disappointment is to assume everyone is an arse and then just let them surprise you with niceness grin

Oh, I see, Pickles101, I can only start AIBUs and have emotions about things that "affect" me.

Duly noted.

OLElEmEn, are you just srufing? Or maybe someone has reported. If so, SIOB.

" Yeah, I guess there's a similar proportion of arses in peopele with disabilities as the proportion in people without disabilities, Stealthy.

sigh.

Just disappointed. "

Approx one arse per person grin

Sorry, it's been a long hard week and it's over, I am punch drunk

WestieMamma, you situation sounds to me like perfectly reasonable usage, but who am I to comment? I know nothing of your situation.

Meh.

You got me.

I knew what I meant, Stealthy.

<<clink>>

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Wed 20-Mar-13 21:54:42

TravelInColour
"Blue badges are for mobility related disability though, so it's unlikely that a blue badge holder would have a hidden disability."

Just no. No no no. sad

SanityClause Wed 20-Mar-13 21:54:59

The thing is, having a disability doesn't make a person into some kind of saint.

Some disabled people are lovely, others are bastards, others a bit inbetweeny. Just like the rest of the population, really.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Wed 20-Mar-13 21:55:11

Bloody hell

biscuit

Oh another biscuit.

Have you actually read yhe OP, Ophelia? Or are you just making assumptions about what I might have typed?

landofsoapandglory Wed 20-Mar-13 21:56:19

Blue badges can not be used when running errands for the badge holder.

YANBU to be a bit saddened though!

SanityClause Wed 20-Mar-13 21:56:39

Oh, sorry. It's already been said.

landofsoapandglory Wed 20-Mar-13 21:58:38

If you didn't know the man in question, then YWBU to judge.

I think my indecipherable comment about arses muddied the issue, though, SanityC.
blush

HollyBerryBush Wed 20-Mar-13 21:59:03

I was merely hypothesising on the scant information given.

landof, I said I know him. Second para.

I did see the logic in your piint, HollyBerry, but was doubtful it applied to this scenario.

smile

Pickles101 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:01:01

You can start an AIBU about what you want. YANBU. Happy?

landofsoapandglory Wed 20-Mar-13 22:02:16

I know, that is why I said YANBU, but then added if you didn't know him then you shouldn't judge, IYSWIM.

But was it a nice arse? don't suppose you saw if he stayed in the car

MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet Wed 20-Mar-13 22:05:34

YANBU at all - and as the holder of a blue badge he should be a bit more mindful that someone might need that space.

shall I mention cars with one parent sitting with the kids in the P&C space while the other parent nips in?

MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet Wed 20-Mar-13 22:06:15

<updates shit list>

hopefloats Wed 20-Mar-13 22:06:31

Yup, SPB, he's a Blue badge holder. As far as I am awar e, the passenger isn't Good grief. I think people need to mind their own business.

IsabelleRinging Wed 20-Mar-13 22:08:15

Considering that there are usually far more disabled spaces than there are blue badge holders then YABU. If you have a badge, for whatever reason, you might as well make use of the spaces than them all remain empty as usually happens. I recently went to local retail park, we couldn't find an empty space and there was a queue of cars waiting to park, but I counted 12 empty disabled bays.

Oh, ok, landof, I misread your post, I'm soryy. smile

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Mar-13 22:09:55

Blue badges are for mobility related disability though, so it's unlikely that a blue badge holder would have a hidden disability (the exception is higher lever DLA and various war veteran pensions).

What about heart conditions, severe asthma and chronic lung conditions?

He has a reasonable arse, yup.

grin

WHART?

Am I on your list EmZed?

SFIOB.

sukysue Wed 20-Mar-13 22:13:39

We use my mums card for her to go to the shops and be dropped off closer so she doesn't have to walk very far. We then go and park the car in the disabled bay but I don't know if we should be doing that iyswim I have never really thought about it but I don't know if we are in the wrong for that or not.I thought it was an urban myth that you can use the disabled badge if you are running errands for the person I mean that is carte blanche for anyone to claim that surely?

Point taken Worra, and also conditions like Fibro, where there may be good and bad days.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Mar-13 22:19:14

I was just thinking of my Dad, Travelin

He's nearly 81 and on a good day he'd give most teenagers a run for their money grin

But he's got angina so on a bad day, he really need his badge.

MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet Wed 20-Mar-13 22:21:39

<soothes>

You are on the opposite side Chaos. Like the Top Gear Cool/Uncool wall grin

noclue2000 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:32:16

I have a blue badge question..
Husband and wife on my street, husband is bb holder, wife is driver. If husband is not in the car is wife able to park in bb space and display the badge so that the husband can then have easier access to the car? The space is on our street, the woman's car is always in the space, even when the husband is out at work.

CloudsAndTrees Wed 20-Mar-13 22:38:46

Perhaps they made a judgement based on the space available and the time they would be taking and came to the reasonable conclusion that they were highly unlikely to inconvenience anyone else so they decided to do something they are allowed to do and used a parking space.

Or perhaps the blue badge holder needed to get home for a wee.

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 20-Mar-13 22:47:26

The blue badge holder is allowed to do that. Theres no rule that says the badge holder has to get out of the car, although it would be more desirable for him/her to move to a different space if they aren't getting out.

manicinsomniac Wed 20-Mar-13 22:53:29

I'm really surprised by this thread - I thought it would be a unanimous YANBU!

If the person who left the car had no disability then there is no difference between the situation the OP describes and the able bodied drivers who sneak into disabled spaces 'just for a minute or two' who always get a resounding YABU. Weird that people view these two situations differently imo.

It's also weird that the OP is being slated for posting about a 'non issue that doesn't concern her/him' If it was an able bodied driver abusing the space (with no disabled passenger of course) it wouldn't affect the OP any more but she would be applauded if she had spoken up and nobody would have said a thing about it not being her business on here.

Just because something doesn't affect you personally doesn't make it ok or unworthy of complaining about.

sashh Thu 21-Mar-13 00:53:03

Any which way, he was legally parked so I don't think I could get all upset about it.

If the person who got out is not disabled he is breaking the law.

If I go shopping with my carer I park in the BB space, if he is popping into a shop and I don't get out of the car I don't.

zebrafinch Thu 21-Mar-13 07:09:07

I have just been on UGov website and searched for the leaflet on the blue badge. Hopeully someone else can make the link.
It is not illegal for the disabled blue badge holder to remain in the car whilst a passenger pops into the shop etc or also if the disabled person does the errand and their passenger or driver remains It says whilst not illegal consideration should be given to other blue badge holders . My severely disabled son is the blue badge holder, he cannot drive and to take him out of the vehicle and put him back in the van would take half an hour faffing, just getting out of the house is like a military logistics operation I seriously had never considered that I had to take him out of the van each time I rushed into the shop. Also just to say I would not be leaving him alone in the van it takes two people to take him out of the house

thereonthestair Thu 21-Mar-13 07:20:36

No clue. That is allowed. I have a ds with a blue badge. I was told I was not only allowed to do that but expected to (it connects to whether I also need a residents parking permit)

sashh Thu 21-Mar-13 07:31:06

zebra

I stand corrected.

Please don't think I'm being rude, genuine question, but if your son stays in the car with someone else why do you need to park in the blue badge space?

Is it because he can't be left for long?

yes I am a BB Nazi. When my father was in hospital I followed my mum home and told her off. She had parked in the BB space the council put outside their house

FabOeufsFromLaChocolateries Thu 21-Mar-13 07:39:00

There is so much BB abuse around. My DD has one and we can't even find a free space half the time.

And people regularly come strolling perfectly normally back to car then affect a really obvious fake limp if they see you looking.

TravelinColour Blue badges are for mobility related disability though, so it's unlikely that a blue badge holder would have a hidden disability (the exception is higher lever DLA and various war veteran pensions).

And what about those with a terminal illness? My DH was issued with one because they said he has less than six months to live. He certainly has no visible disability.

You can never, never, never tell what is happening in people's lives. Not just by looking. Try hard not to judge - life can be unutterably shit and people have to cope as best they can.

noclue2000 Thu 21-Mar-13 14:34:54

thereonthestair
so even thought he isnt in the car when she is parking there, she can still do it?
the hubby works, so she parks there even when he isnt in the house.

Goldmandra Thu 21-Mar-13 15:49:09

It is people's need to see a visible disability which is preventing me from getting a BB for DD2.

She has AS and various other health problems which make it hard for her to walk far sometimes and when places are busy or someone brushes against her we really need quick access to the car to help manage meltdowns. She get DLA HRC and I know that medical professionals would support our application but I can't cope with the idea of people challenging us because they cannot see a disability. It would make having the badge pointless because she would never go anywhere if she thought someone might have a go sad

FabOeufsFromLaChocolateries Thu 21-Mar-13 15:53:41

We have one for DD with ASD and have never been challenged

valiumredhead Thu 21-Mar-13 15:56:18

noclue I imagine if it is outside their house then they have arranged/applied for it to be there iyswim so it's theirs as opposed to one in a car park.

Blue badges are NOT only for mobility related illnesses.

The BB holder is not meant to sit in the car in a disabled bay while someone else nips to the shops - although why would you begrudge a carer this, surely life is shit and anything that makes things a bit easier is good, right?

valiumredhead Thu 21-Mar-13 15:56:56

I have never been challenged either, I would like to see someone fecking try!

dropdeaddivalover Thu 21-Mar-13 16:13:32

We have BB for DD and have never been challenged but since we got special needs pushchair we get less looks and whispers whilst others walk past car.

Goldmandra Thu 21-Mar-13 17:13:30

Thank you for those responses. Maybe I should bite the bullet then. She wouldn't notice the looks and whispers even though I would.

Valium, if we get one I'll take you with me in my head when we go out just in case smile

zebrafinch Thu 21-Mar-13 17:38:53

sassh yes that's correct. I would love to be able to park at a distance , take my time, saunter in and look around but DS will be getting distressed, start sweating and not so long ago went through a phase of turning blue. We travel with oxygen. When he gets distressed and panicky , the stress can trigger a tonic clonic fit. our horizons have very much shrunk, a long journey of more than an hour is out unless he is lying down in an ambulance.
(I do not make a habit of popping into the shops.)

On street blue badge spaces are put in for particular applicants, but they are not 'theirs'; they can be parked in by any blue badge holder.

The rules on blue badges have just changed, so it is now more difficult for fraudulent applicants.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Thu 21-Mar-13 18:00:37

GoldMandra people's need to see a visible disability

this is very well put! am surprised its only one person on this thread who trotted out the same old flawed logic about invisible illnesses. Its almost like we had a civilised debate about something blue badge and parking related! <faints> :-)

but on a serious note, please please don't shy away from getting a blue badge because of this... I was the same but since i've had one, my life really has been a bit easier! and actually, i haven't had any peculiar looks off people yet, which is very weird as i def dont 'look' disabled if you see me just for second, or a couple of meters moving... except for some days when i walk funny. i dont go to supermarkets and places like that though, which is where these things seem to happen, as i cant, so send my carer, who i doesnt use the badge for that (though now i'll ask her as i hadn't thought about it before!)

I do absolutely use disabled spaces to park in and send my carer into a shop (she drives not me), whilst I am in the car. Its because I am in so much pain every second counts and I may not be able to stand it long enough to get home. i didn't think about this being any kind of infraction of the badge as its entirely due to my disability that speed is of the essence... and in those circumstances does that mean i am wrong after all? am confused now!

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Thu 21-Mar-13 18:04:27

i did have a few carers last year who were shocking about the blue badge... taking it off me (they drove me, not me driving), and 'forgetting' to give it back and then keeping it overnight/ weekends etc... one would keep it for weeks at a time and unsurprisingly doesnt work for me anymore! I'm sure they used it in their personal time and it really pissed me off as i was physically unable to get it back off them and it smacks of taking advantage of a vulnerable person and i hate feeling like that.

from that experience I wonder if people who abuse blue badges dont have much empathy for the people that really need them ... as those couple of carers were really awful carers too!

evansthebread Fri 22-Mar-13 01:31:31

I had to fight for my BB as I don't claim DLA (I suffer with anxiety and depression so the applications/medicals/appeals were just to much for me).

I use a crutch and a carer for support now, but before I had the BB I was in a wheelchair. It wouldn't fit into the boot so had to be wrangled into the back seat of the car (it's a large, heavy, old-fashioned monstrosity). Because I didn't have a BB, I was too afraid to risk parking in a space.

After a few months of struggling to get chair out of back of car in a normal space, then DP hurting his back fighting the damn thing, I gave in and told him to park in a disabled space. Of course, that would be the one occasion an attendant came along. We were fined, despite our obvious difficulties. I was NOT ladylike when I spotted someone who blithely pulled up and trotted off after shoving a BB in his windscreen - attendant wouldn't even go check it was his. Yes, there are hidden disabilities (I have Fibro so can look normal until I start to walk), but that guy clearly didn't have any kind of disability that's covered in the conditions needed to get one.

It was that incident that made me apply. Bloody jobsworth!

Because of the abuse, I am too afraid to have DP drop myself and a carer off and then park the car close by in case he's caught without me in it, even though life would be much easier for me.

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