Did I just have a go at a person with Tourette's?

(107 Posts)
MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 13:23:58

Ok...

Was just queuing to get into the bakery with my friend's DS in his pushchair. A group of 4 people were in front of me. One of the females was talking really quite loudly and saying "fucking" "cunt" "twat" repeatedly. Her friends were laughing at her conversation. One of her friends then purposely knocked her bag off her shoulder. She responded by calling him a fat, four-eyed cunt.

I did get the red mist and asked her to please stop sounding her potty mouth off so loudly and said little ears are present, motioning towards friend's DS. Then she went "I've got Tourette's, you stupid cow" I did hmm face and her friend sheepishly backed her up and said that she did have Tourette's.

I really don't think that she did. My old boss had Tourette's and he didn't just swear in the flow of normal conversation. I could be wrong and if I am, I will feel shitty.

It's not the first time I've asked people to stop swearing around kids. AIBU?

No, I don't think you did....she just sounds like an ignorant twat!!

From what I know about Tourettes and swearing, they just chuck the odd swear word in here and there, not actually in context whilst having a conversation.

Good for you for pulling her up on it. My mum did that once and got called a stupid cow for it but I was proud of her for having the balls to do it.

WhoPaintedTheLion Mon 18-Mar-13 13:27:19

Isn't that form of Tourettes more like a verbal tic? So yes, not actual conversational swearing.

I do not know all that much about it either, but I'd be suspicious.

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 13:29:55

Well, my limited knowledge of Tourettes tells me that yes, it is like a verbal tick. My old boss used to really struggle in meetings to hold in his 'outbursts' by grabbing on to the arms of his chair but they had to come out eventually because it physically hurt him to keep them in sad

And it wasn't just swearing. He used to shout out random words most of the time.

Madlizzy Mon 18-Mar-13 13:31:28

She was just being a dick.

Sparklingbrook Mon 18-Mar-13 13:34:54

I don't think Tourettes is in context or in a response to something. I remember when Pete off BB who had Tourettes said 'I love it when my Tourettes is in context' which makes me think it doesn't happen often.

'Fat four-eyed cunt' doesn't sound like Tourettes. sad

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 13:35:47

I remember when Pete said that! I wonder what happened to him. He was lovely.

You should have said, "Oh do fuck off you fucking rude cunt...oh, i have Tourettes too."

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 18-Mar-13 13:38:26

I thought with Tourettes if the person is talking then they will without warning say something quite unconnected and random. So if the conversation is flowing and the vocabulary is shall we say 'rich' but actually in context it would seem they are just swearing.

Think you were NBU.

maddening Mon 18-Mar-13 13:38:42

He was on a celebrity 4 weddings programme getting married in a circus tent with lots if circus acts etc I think - I saw it when on maternity leave in those early never stop bfing days <reminisces>

BrainSurgeon Mon 18-Mar-13 13:39:19

grin @ Peppa

UnChartered Mon 18-Mar-13 13:39:58

i have no idea about the Tourettes issue, but tell us more about the bakery, Marmie grin

Sparklingbrook Mon 18-Mar-13 13:41:11

Filed for divorce now maddening. sad YY Marmalade was it St Greggs of Pasties?

Did she buggery have Tourettes, the lying baggage.

LandofTute Mon 18-Mar-13 13:43:05

With all the laughter by her friends going on this just sounds like someone thinking they are hilarious to pretend to have Tourettes and enjoying insulting people in the process.

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 13:48:36

No it wasn't Greggs. More's the pity. It wasjust the bakery in our village, where the window display showcases dead flies in the trays.

WIBU once to say "Can I have a dead fly please?" to the bakery lady? She was hmm confused I said "You must sell them. You've got them on display in your window" Thought it was better than "clean your windows out, you mucky mare"

I was about to start screeching about her thinking that Tourettes is a joke/mocking a mental disorder but I didn't want oeuf on le visage.

UnChartered Mon 18-Mar-13 13:52:08

dash <scuffs sizable thigh>

and yes, you must ask how about the flies, and i'll ask about the wasps in the pet shop window too grin

thezebrawearspurple Mon 18-Mar-13 13:54:43

It doesn't matter whether she did or not, you don't have the right to dictate what words other people use in a public place. If everybody interfered with others whose speech/behaviour/dress offended them, nobody would be able to go about their business without being constantly harassed by idiots.

You should just have minded your own business, be grateful that you only got an excuse and not a box in the face. That would be something your children would be genuinely upset (and perhaps traumatised) by.

Sparklingbrook Mon 18-Mar-13 13:56:50

So you think it's ok for a child in a pushchair to be subjected to a load of effing and jeffing zebra?

Catchingmockingbirds Mon 18-Mar-13 13:57:46

Swearing tics are quite rare for Tourette's sufferers, and she seemed to be swearing in context too. She was probably just pretending and that's why her friends were laughing so much.

Sparklingbrook Mon 18-Mar-13 13:58:57

But well done for not getting a 'box in the face' eh Marmalade. grin

AllThatGlistens Mon 18-Mar-13 14:01:58

My little boy has Tourette's Syndrome, and as his consultant explained it to us, the so called 'swearing tics' are actually v v rare in sufferers, it tends to be grunts and/or physical tics.

Chances are she was just a cunt! grin

Probably something they do regularly. For the Lulz hmm

thezebrawearspurple Mon 18-Mar-13 14:02:28

They're not being subjected to anything, children wouldn't even notice. If their mother had received a violent response for her interference, that would have been damaging to them. If she does that regularly it's only a matter of time before someone is nasty about it.

Children don't notice the language used around them, thezebra? Ooooh-kay.

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 14:08:02

Zebra, I am not posting to ask if IABU to pull idiots upon acting like idiots. I will continue to do so. The problem with this country is there are too many people like you who won't speak up when someone is making life uncomfortable for everyone else.

And children DO notice. My son didn't learn the plethora of swearwords he knows from me. They have all been picked up from stupid twats who can't cork their verbal diarrhoea.

pigletmania Mon 18-Mar-13 14:08:50

Yanbu if she did have Tourette's how were you to know. She sounds very rude and horrid

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 14:09:02

A violent response? I don't live in the Bronx, you know?

toomuch2young Mon 18-Mar-13 15:06:28

Ok... I have Tourette syndrome. Swearing tics are rare, and constant swearing is even rarer. My coprolalia (swearing) tics used to be frequent and obviously a tic. Though when walking down a street would often get angry comments from people, disapproving looks etc. however my response was always calm and educational and a lot of us carry cards explaining our condition.
Yes sometimes my friends do laugh at in context tics. Shouting ' it's poisoned' when being served dinner at a restraunt, or stopped by the security guard for announcing 'I'm stealing' rarely fails to cause a smile amongst close friends.
Sadly TS will often pick up on the physical features of a person, shouting 'fat' when seeing a larger person etc. however most of us feel awful about this, despite having little control over it, and are always apologetic.
I would also be doubtful of this girls TS if she had no motor tics. It's hard to deny I have TS as my heads jerking, nodding, arms flapping, blinking etc and these are far more common than the swearing.
TS destroys your confidence and security and often compromises your independence by making going out alone challenging and dangerous, many times i have felt threatened, laughed at or abused due to my tics. Equally people mimicking tourettes is an equal problem as it invalidates those of us that do have it and also causes offence to both touretters and non touretters alike.
For more info on TS don't hesitate to look at the tourettes action website.

INeverSaidThat Mon 18-Mar-13 15:16:17

I find a really polite 'would you mind not swearing' and a nod to the DC usually works really well. One group of extremely sweary boys on the train suddenly became very polite and apologetic, just like Harry Enfields Kevin and Perry.

thezebrawearspurple Mon 18-Mar-13 15:39:50

Marmalade; how would you like if a stranger lectured you on something you were doing that they felt inappropriate? People who mind their own business are not the 'cause of all the problems' in society, people who can't cause many problems for others. Whether it is disabled people or their carers who are harassed for acting 'inappropriately' because others can't see their disability, women who are harassed on the street because certain religious types are offended by their 'lack' of clothing, gays harrassed because people choose to be offended by them holding hands with their partner, etc...

Everybody is offensive to someone, you think you are free to limit another's words to only what you want your children to hear, the next arsehole thinks they are free to limit their childrens exposure to gay couples, female clothing that is not to their personal standard etc. You obviously live in a very non diverse area, if you had to be around a variety of people, you would understand that tolerance of all types is needed for a civilised society.

It is necessary to interfere/call for help if someone is being bullied, abused, endangered, it is not ok to declare yourself God and demand the right to dictate other peoples behaviour. You are the rude one and very silly if you think that living in a little village will forever protect you from a bad reaction to your rudeness. You just need to get the wrong person on the wrong day and if you do that often enough, your chances are very likely of learning that.

MrsReiver Mon 18-Mar-13 15:47:43

Off Topic Warning

I just googled Pete and he's getting divorced sad

LangenFlugelHappleHoff Mon 18-Mar-13 15:52:10

thezebra really??? Really really??? hmm

OP the girl was a twunk and you were right in expressing that small children shouldn't be listening to her filthy mouth...a bar of soap and water might do her some good....

LangenFlugelHappleHoff Mon 18-Mar-13 15:58:50

Also Thezebra if young people are not pulled up on poor behaviour, when are they going to learn that certain things are not acceptable in a social setting?

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 18-Mar-13 15:59:41

The thing is you don't know.

Something's are rare but they do occur,she could have had Tourette's equally as such she could have been acting up.

You don't know and you will never know.so as you go about your life correcting other people's behaviour try and remember that.

Nobody is obliged to spend their life educating others disability or not.

WilsonFrickett Mon 18-Mar-13 16:01:03

The zebra I am deeply, deeply offended by your comparison of someone asking a person to not use the c-bomb round their children with disablism, sexism and homophobia. They are not the same thing at all.

And I live in an extremely diverse area and I have often politely requested that people stop swearing around DS.

OP, YANBU and the swearer clearly didn't have Tourettes. Toomuch is right, saying 'I have Tourettes' when all you have is a potty mouth is a real issue for the people who do have Tourettes.

buggerama Mon 18-Mar-13 16:18:00

Zebra, you are making yourself look like an idiot. Now lets just see if there is anyone who agrees with anything you have said ....tumbleweeds......thought not

OP, well done, I would have done the same.

MrsDeVere Mon 18-Mar-13 16:29:28

OFFS

I am a right old liberal lefty (who is also adept as swearing) and I would certainly ask someone to stop swearing like a docker in front of my DCs or my elderly mother.
My kids because I don't want them repeating and my mum because it would upset her.

If everyone has a right to swear in public it must follow that everyone has the right to challenge them?

Two blokes were having a bit of road rage outside the nursery and fucking and cunting until I pulled them up with a classy 'OI! give a rest you are right outside a nursery!'

They did so and looked sheepish.

I have asked teens before and they are generally ok about it. Its better to ask politely because it is easy to get into a slanging match and that rather defeats the object, particularly if you forget yourself and start thowing in a few fuck offs yourself blush

MrsDeVere Mon 18-Mar-13 16:30:24

and thanks for that 2much.
smile

littlemisssunny Mon 18-Mar-13 16:40:51

You were not being unreasonable at all, well done for saying something.

There was a young lad on our train the other day on his mobile using fuck and cunt a lot but luckily the kids seemed oblivious so I didn't say anything as that might have made them start hearing the conversation.

I hate swearing in public but unfortunately you can't stop people doing it.

I first heard a swear word when I was in the end of primary school and was really shocked. My son first heard fuck in reception class, there is a boy who said it, I was not happy! But he knows that adults can swear if they choose to and if he wants to when he's an adult that's up to him, but he's not allowed to swear now.

BOF Mon 18-Mar-13 16:44:14

Zebra- is this some sort of comedy character you are working up for a show?

PaddingtonBearsDuffleCoat Mon 18-Mar-13 16:48:39

Perhaps those like the zebra poster need to know a bit more about the law if posting in the UK. Various Public Order Acts cover swearing and other offensive behaviour if it is in the sight or hearing of a member of the public or indeed a police officer. So you were not BU to ask them to stop. If a police officer was present they would have been warned about their conduct and if it persisted then they could be arrested.

Maggie111 Mon 18-Mar-13 17:22:45

I don't think it's reasonable to expect someone to modify their language for your child. You're lucky the response was only "I have tourettes". And it's ridiculous to try and work out whether she does really have tourettes. It's none of your business whether she has difficulties or is just a cunt...

It is if she's happily cunting away in front of my child in a shop.

I've never had a bad response to asking people to moderate their language in front of children, either at work or in day to day life.

TheChimpParadox Mon 18-Mar-13 17:50:05

We were in a restaurant once - well Nandos - with our children - family group right next to us, guy kept swearing in flow of conversation . I asked him not to. They continued with under breath comments etc at us and when they got up to go one of the women said to me that I had no right to say anything as he had Tourettess' plus she gave me a mouth full of abuse.

There is no way the guy had tourettes as like in Ops he was swearing in normal conversation.

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 18:25:53

"The zebra I am deeply, deeply offended by your comparison of someone asking a person to not use the c-bomb round their children with disablism, sexism and homophobia. They are not the same thing at all."

This exactly. I think that Zebra is on a wind-up or very dense

LOL at "We were in a restaurant - well Nandos" grin

2much thank you for your insightful post. You sound like a really lovely person.

Sparklingbrook Mon 18-Mar-13 18:27:01

I have never been to Nandos. I thought it was posh. <irrelevant>

MammaMedusa Mon 18-Mar-13 18:30:09

Under Section 5 of the Public Order Act 1986:
"A person is guilty of an offence if he uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour, or displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress thereby"

I think the fact we still have things like the watershed on TV with things that can be said before or after suggests that there are some words our society deems unsuitable for children to hear.

I have asked teens before to pipe down, and have never had a bad reaction. I wouldn't do it just in passing, but if we're on a long tube journey so the kids are likely to hear it for a while.

quoteunquote Mon 18-Mar-13 19:16:39

I do agree with Zebra, you cannot expect people to desist their activities just because you find them offensive, as almost everything we do is offensive to someone.

it's not nice for your child to hear swearing, you can only ask someone to be considerate, or move yourself away.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 09:30:36

<rolls eyes>

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Mar-13 10:05:22

Morniong Marmalade what you up to today? grin

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 10:12:37

I'm off to see if I can find some twats kicking in a bus stop, so that I can ignore their behaviour lest I impose upon their civil liberty to act as they please.

Then when I've done that, I might see if I can find a pickpocketer so that I can smile piously and let him get on with pickpocketing nans, just so that I may maintain my status as Biggest Lefty Twat in the Village.

Pfffffft.

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Mar-13 10:19:08

Good plan Marmalade or maybe patrol the disabled parking spaces at the Mezza for a while, that will keep you out of trouble. wink

ChasingDogs Tue 19-Mar-13 10:28:56

Is swearing a crime on par with theft now?

Well, that's me completely fucked then.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 10:42:06

There is more than one way to skin a cat.

Loudly saying to your child that they are bad words and shouldn't be repeated is a good way.

Someone with a genuine issue is unlikely to be offended by that its also none confrontational and does the job,

Somehow tho I expect your one of those who rather likes confrontation.

I was in the park a while back & there was a group of school children swearing next to us. I asked them to stop as DS1 is very good at copying what he hears. I didn't realise I was BU by doing so.

I agree that we all unwittingly cause offence but most normal, well mannered people don't want to cause offence & will try & desist whenever possible.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 11:05:15

"Is swearing a crime on par with theft now?

Well, that's me completely fucked then."

No but if we're taking "don't confront anti-social behaviour, we all do things that offend" to it's logical conclusion, then that's where we are at isn't it?

Sockreturningpixie, that's just passive-aggressive. I don't really do passive-aggressive. If I feel that I need to say something then I will. Which isn't often really. As well as liking confrontation, I also like people who know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.

SneezingwakestheJesus Tue 19-Mar-13 11:37:34

Its all about how you confront them and ask though. You're far more likely to get the response you would like if you hold your anger in and ask in a friendly or jokey manner. It might pain you to ask nicely for someone to stop doing something they shouldn't be anyway but it will be more likely to get the result you want.

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Mar-13 11:41:20

I am a bit of a chicken. I say 'Don't listen to the effing and jeffing boys' in a very loud voice.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 11:48:51

Come with Aunty Twatters down to Merry Hell, Sparkling. I'll give you a crash course in how to deal with the riff-raff, down at the Asda end. Then we can go to the new Krispy Kreme for a reward after a hard day's work telling people off.

littlemissbunny Tue 19-Mar-13 11:53:24

Marmalade can you run a course for people like me who want to say something but don't?

There's a Krispy Kreme doughnut in it for you grin

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Mar-13 11:54:50

Ooh yes Marmalade a sort of self help group for wusses. With a doughnut for each time we make a comment. grin

notimefors Tue 19-Mar-13 12:10:42

My friend has tourettes. Using my experience of that one person... That girl sounds like she was just a twat.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 12:13:50

OK, lessons start week on monday outside the Asda at Merry Hell shopping centre. 10am sharp.

I only tend to say something if the thing offending me is prolonged, IYSWIM. I wouldn't ask someone to shut up if they just swore once or twice in conversation. I only say something when the conversation consists of every third word being fuck or cunt etc.

UnChartered Tue 19-Mar-13 12:15:38

can we have a workshop on telling people to pick up their discarded crisp packets too please?

i'll lead that one <my specialist subject>

grin

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 12:20:05

Ooh the dropped litter one.

I did a demonstration for some lovely Vicki Pollards teenage girls last year who were scoffing chips from polystyrene trays then throwing the paper all over the grass verge instead of walking THREE METRES to the closest bin.

I picked it up and strode over and put it in the bin whilst giving a running commentary on just how easy it is to throw things into the bin. They probably thought I was mad and they'd be right...

UnChartered Tue 19-Mar-13 12:24:51

nice work <opens badge drawer>

i like the line 'oh, you dropped something' to which the usual reply is 'yeah, i don't want it anymore'

it's a baffler but a sharp 'well, you should put it in the bin then' and quick catsbum mouth usually has them scuttling the 3ft to do just that

grin

LandofTute Tue 19-Mar-13 13:26:36

I did once have someone shout "fatty!" at me when I was getting off the train and i did think they had Tourettes. It was the way they looked embarrassed rather than rude/aggressive afterwards. So I didn't take it personally. To be honest they did have a point. grin If I had said something I doubt very much they would have replied "I've got Tourette's, you stupid cow." like your woman. hmm

toomuch2young Tue 19-Mar-13 14:52:54

landoftute if it was me, I apologise, I have done that on trains.
I do find it embarrassing. And for a long time when my vocals were bad i didn't like to leave the house as was so worried about upsetting someone. It's a nuisance having a neurological conditions that makes everyone at best laugh, and at worst offend and anger people.
I just wish for a little understanding. Though I think things are improving. Iv had people tell me not to apologise for it, but I feel like I'm not apologising for having TS but more for any offence it may cause which I think is fair.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 15:23:43

You completely lost the moral high ground by exhibiting bad manners, correcting people's grammar is the sort of thing people who don't know how decent people behave do.

Its also extremely bad form to pick up on things like that because you don't know if you happen to be doing it to someone with a proper dx learning disability and a neurological condition that makes stuff like that less easy to manage,as in fact you just did because I do.

Avoiding being passive aggressive does not mean you have to have confrontation and aggression as your default setting. There is a middle ground.

Its not passive aggressive to teach your child that some words are bad words but it is inadvisable to teach them that its acceptable to go through life being critical of others and rude.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 15:32:05

Aggression? I said "Do you mind not swearing quite so loudly? I have a toddler sat right next to you"

To the point, yes. Aggressive, no. I'm not going to bat my eyelashes and get all jokey just because I want someone to stop behaving like a dick. <shrug>

And I will teach my children to be critical of people that act like dicks. <shrug again> I'm not of the school of parenting that teaches kids to accept everyone, whatever their bad habits. I'll teach my child to accept diversity where it matters i.e gay/different race/disablity. I won't teach them that you have to accept twattish behaviour as a delightful little quirk.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 15:39:52

Its confrontational and unnessacery,

You don't have to teach them to accept bad behaviour there is middle ground.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 19-Mar-13 15:54:21

When I was a store manager I used to tell people to stop swearing all the time. I just used to say "can you watch your language please, there's kids about" or something similar. I can't say I ever feared getting shivved for my renegade antics.

It's all about context. I swear like a navvy but not around kids or older people (I have a Nanna - I'd burn if she ever heard me swear) and I never do it loudly.

I once walked past a group of yooofs going about their skateboarding, emo haired, be-pumped business and heard one shout to the the other "oi, stop fucking swearing that woman's got a kid with her". It made me smile because they all seemed like nice kids then made me weep over how ancient I felt.

Then again I'm already the mad old bint who tuts and eye rolls at spitters and litter droppers so I guess I'm already a good way down a very slippery slope.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 16:18:44

Yes there is a middle-ground and I struck it. Not confrontational just direct, not standing piously smiling at twattery. Thank you.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 19-Mar-13 16:22:07

This is a youtube video made by alittle boy who is 8 and has Tourettes, he talks about his Coprolalia and how difficult it makes him feel.

Gawd help us if we're not allowed to talk to strangers when they're doing something that's affecting us - we don't exist in a vacuum, we all need to be considerate of others when we're in public.

Bad behaviour in public = spitting, swearing, littering, barging, queue jumping etc.
All of these things are tolerable in passing (I'd hardly stop someone walking past me just to 'tell them off'), but if you're stood there in a queue being subjected to a constant stream of profanities it's fair enough to ask them to stop.

It's not confrontational, it's common sense. The less people do it tho, the more it's seen as a weird thing to do, and the wankers feel more entitled to behave how they like without any concern for others.

toomuch2young Tue 19-Mar-13 22:57:40

I don't know why, but I started posting on this thread because i thought their was a genuine interest in understanding TS.

But no, it's turned into one where the majority of people commenting, are spouting the ignorance and intolerance that force many of us who grow up with TS to be made to feel like out casts. Or as so nicely put above 'the wankers'.

Yes spitting, swearing, punching ourselves etc isn't socially acceptable and we don't want to do it! We have no choice. Your child isn't going to be tainted over hearing a curse word from a touretter. And you could, just maybe, use the opportunity to teach about diversity and disability. Your child won't suddenly start twitching and blinking for spending time with me, and nor has any child in my family started shouting swear words out. Why? Because they know not to, and don't have a neurological disorder that causes them to do this.

You know, working to support other families also affected by TS and I have come across families torn about from the suicide of their teenager due to tourettes and the related bullying and prejudices.

For this reason I will never, ever stop fighting for understanding and acceptance.

MidniteScribbler Tue 19-Mar-13 23:12:48

i like the line 'oh, you dropped something' to which the usual reply is 'yeah, i don't want it anymore'

Can I have a donut? I recently pointed out to one oxygen thief about his dropped cigarette butt. He responded by demonstrating an outstanding grasp of foul language. So I followed him back to his car, picking up all discarded cigarette butts along the way. As he opened his car door, I nipped in and dropped them on the car seat with a breezy "these must be yours, thought I'd return them". The language that followed me across the car park was quite impressive, but the feeling of driving past him five minutes later while he was still picking old cigarette butts out of his fancy little car was quite satisfying.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 23:21:34

Stop sounding off your potty mouth all said whilst having red mist.

Hardly polite or none confrontational.

If your going to pick others up on their behaviour you have to be behaving well yourself and do so without lowering yourself.

Oh and its customary to apologise to someone when you have been rude and disablist,as you were to me. But you glossed over that one didn't you despite me informing you that you trying to rip the piss out of a symptom of my disability was rude.

Or do you require me to provide evidence of my disability before you will do that?

MaryMotherOfCheeses Tue 19-Mar-13 23:27:45

Toomuch2young, do you think in the example in the OP, the girl was likely to have Tourette's? I've read this to say that she probably didn't and was just being rude. I'm sorry you have felt sidelined but I don't think this is actually about people with Tourette's, it's about people who could control their behaviour.

Swearing loudly, dropping litter, general antisocial behaviour, I'm quite pleased some people have the balls to pull them up on it.

lisad123everybodydancenow Tue 19-Mar-13 23:33:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheChaoGoesMu Tue 19-Mar-13 23:45:45

Really interesting posts toomuch. You talk about when your vocals were bad and you didn't like to leave the house. Does that mean that now it has improved, or is Tourette's something that fluctuates?

toomuch2young Wed 20-Mar-13 00:14:03

mary no I don't believe the girl in the original post had TS, but I cannot be sure of this. It is not the op I was referring to, more the other comments of how people displaying such behaviours as swearing and spitting were 'wankers' etc etc. I'd far rather people were talked to politely about why they were displaying the behaviour if any doubt. Yes litter dropping etc etc is different. But I still believe education is the way, not abuse or name calling.

Just when you have had a life time of bullying, verbal and even physical abuse for a condition beyond your control, which already causes physical pain and mental torture I guess it also teaches you to try and preach tolerance and acceptance of others differences.

the chaos yes TS waxes and wanes, comes and goes. Personally I had mild tics as a young child, horrendous tics resulting in frequent hospitalisation etc from adolescence to early twenties. Now a gradual calming down enough, with medication, to be able to work full time for now, i am very lucky to have a wonderful supportive friends and also a work place which accepts my constant tics. Also despite my tics still being constant, the vocal words are less for the moment, and as an adult I have the self confidence to still go out and educate people if my tics do cause a problem, rather than hide away embarrassed as I did as a teenager.
In answer to your question, Everyone with TS is different with a different pattern of tics and waxing and waining and severity from very mild to totally disabling.

hb84 Wed 20-Mar-13 01:06:10

She was being a total cunt and making it up. 99% sure from what you told us. So, while you were not being unreasonable and should have told the cunt to fuck off, I hate the expression "little ears are present". It gives me nervous tics. Sorry!

munchkinmaster Wed 20-Mar-13 03:28:06

What about if the group of swearers was using racist or disablist language. Not at someone but just amongst themselves. Do we tolerate people taking loudly about sp***ers and ni**ers?

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 07:19:54

That would be an actual crime and one that's not dependant on it on it offending someone.

munchkinmaster Wed 20-Mar-13 08:25:05

Is it a crime if it's not directed at anyone?

toomuch I'm very sorry you took my post to be aimed at those with TS - I thought it obvious that it wasn't. You have explained TS really well and given lots of us a better understanding of it. I absolutely do not think people with TS are wankers!! Apologies for the misunderstanding.

It is 99% likely that the girl the OP was talking to did not have TS and was merely an antisocial and unpleasant person (ie a wanker) using her scant knowledge of TS as an excuse for being rude. As you have said several times, genuine sufferers of TS tend to be apologetic about their outbursts if asked about it, plus the swearing type is rather rare.

People who are deliberately antisocial with their behaviour shouldn't go unchallenged - I don't believe you should have to ask their full medical history before asking them to stop whatever it is they're doing.
If they have a genuine issue such as TS (or like my MiL's Alzheimer's which caused her to swear a lot) there are often other clues or they will be apologetic.

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 20-Mar-13 17:54:44

Thats really interesting toomuch. Thanks for the information.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 19:31:12

Yes munch it would be, as long as someone hears it.

sjupes Wed 20-Mar-13 19:47:55

I'm mid twenties and when i have the kids with me i will pull people up if they are effing all over the place whether they're younger than me or older - my kids don't need to hear foul language.

I have also told a few teens dropping/about to drop rubbish where very noticeable bins are and most have the decency to look sheepish.

Dp hates that i do it for some reason - i'm not confrontational in the slightest but a bit of respect costs nothing.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 20-Mar-13 19:56:06

Marmalade if you don't mind me asking, what did your name use to be? Its driving me slightly bonkers trying to remember confused

ps. feel free to tell me to mind my own beeswax grin

Puds, clue: she had the best name on MN. Might have been bunting/cupcake related

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 20:43:30

I used to be Bupcakesnadcunt1ing, puds smile

Pixie, sorry I wasn't aware I had made disablist remarks about any disability of yours. Are you talking about where I made fun of an error in your grammar? I'm assuming that you're implying that you're dyslexic?

I didn't say I was polite. I said I was direct and to the point. <shrug> Don't see how asking someone in a direct manner is lowering myself but you obviously have skewed ideas about social acceptabilities so you think what you like, mate.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 20:44:06

THANKS FOR OUTING ME TIDDLY.

I'll see you in COURT.

But but but but but I saw a post a week or so ago where you outed yourself! confused Sorry! Thought that meant you were 'out'! Oooops.
Shall I report my post? Happy to!

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 20:51:50

LOL! I just outed myself right after you did, you sausage! Ha ha ha ha I was JOKING! grin

You tit grin

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 20:52:45

I am dyslexic but the disability I am referring to is autism and brain injury.

That's the whole point you don't know so being direct and to the point when you don't know is not a great idea.

By the way I loved your old name it made me laugh every time I saw it.

Hassled Wed 20-Mar-13 20:53:12

I'm loving your work, Marmalade.

The only time I've had the guts to be an Ill-Mannered Vigilante was the time I had a right strop at a girl I vaguely know who I saw posting an empty packet of Wotsits into a postbox. For some reason I was like a woman possessed - all those precious letters covered in cheesy orange crumbs. She just stared at me.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 20:57:42

Sorry but I didn't realise you were autistic confused I made fun of a grammar error. I didn't realise that I should have known you were autistic from that so if I have offended there I apologise.

LOL at the Wotsits radge grin

There need to be more like us, Hassled. Like the Guardian Angels that ride the subway in new York. We will stamp on any swearing, letterbox vandalism or dog-fouling (not literally) without mercy. We shall have to have a uniform.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 21:00:38

That's quite alright one couldn't really be expected to know from a post or a fleeting chance meetinggrin

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 21:04:38

Oh come on!

I have experience of people with TS. I would say I'd be confident in being able to tell if someone has TS or whether they're just spouting off.

This is coming from me who won't judge parents with kids having tantrums/anyone who could be behaving out of the ordinary because of a MH issue... I'm really not one to have a pop at people who could potentially have a disability and my posting history on MN will back that up!

But sorry again anyway.

I am indeed a tit, tis true... grin Possibly a sausage shaped tit. <worried>

suebfg Wed 20-Mar-13 21:17:43

A young relative of mine has Tourettes and has started to swear with it, along with the tics and OCD type behaviour. His Mum thinks he has started to blame all his bad behaviour on his condition. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle - sometimes it's the Tourettes, sometimes it's just bad behaviour.

From what you've described though, it sounds like this person was just acting an idiot.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 20-Mar-13 22:33:39

Ah I knew it! Thanks Buppers grin

everlong Thu 21-Mar-13 07:08:49

Saying cunt fuck twat repeatedly isn't normal is it? And the fact that one of her friends purposely knocked her bag off her shoulder to me says they were winding her up to get her to swear.

So in that situation ywbu to say anything, it's pretty obvious something wasn't right.

MarmaladeTwatkins Thu 21-Mar-13 07:41:31

I think it's fairly obvious that she didn't have Tourettes. The only thing wrong with her is the delusion that she is the village bad gal. Thanks for your input though, everlong.

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